Insomnia/anxiety for months (breastfeeding mom)

I have been experiencing bad insomnia and related anxiety about it for almost 4 months now. Sleep has always been a source of stress for me, for whatever reason. My 14 month old is finally a great sleeper and i'm having such a hard time. It's been pretty consistent now- I'll have trouble for a week or so, then it will go away for a few days, then come back, etc. I was on a pretty good stretch and then we took a trip to france which messed everything up. now i'm back with jetlag and the insomnia. i have no reserves left and basically feel like i'm losing my mind. i will be awake for hours on end, and sometimes the entire night. not particularly stressed about anything but sleep itself has become the stress. i did a kaiser class on CBT and though it was helpful, i'm having trouble breaking the cycle. i took ambien a few times but it really made me feel depressed. other sleep aids, including herbal, aren't recommended for breastfeeding moms. i read ''say goodnight to insomnia'', which many BPN folks recommend. tried acupuncture, helpful but getting expensive. i'm sick of myself and sick of this problem- and mostly just sick of being utterly exhausted and on the verge of breaking down many days of the week. i feel like i don't have the energy i want to give to my baby and i worry about sleep all the time. i know much of it is in my head but it's started to feel like a physiological reaction as well- get into bed, can't sleep. i know there's no magic cure, but i'm hoping for something to change! exhausted mama, but not because of baby!

Getting involved outside the home (job, garden, whatever) Sleep hygiene, thyroid medication, and a hysterectomy were what helped me (i had multiple reasons for the hysterectomy and im 46- so done having kids). Progesterone helped a friend but ultimately made me way worse. Keep trying till you get it solved. Wished i had known-- lola

I had this VERY severely after I had my daughter and didn't sleep for days. I was near a breakdown and went to an outpatient program where I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed me some medication for sleeping. My daughter was 7 weeks old. She is now 2.5 and I am still breastfeeding her.

Here are some things I learned:

1. It is more important that I get sleep and take care of myself than to be concerned about ''chemicals'' or drugs in my milk as long as a doctor agrees that the concern/risk is minimal. It also helps to be informed. I purchased ''Medications and Mother's Milk'' by Thomas? Hale and did a lot of research on the medications I was taking because I took a LOT.

2. You MUST take medication for sleeping to break the cycle. Take it as long as you need. You are not failing if you do so. I am still on sleep medications. In the beginning I was very concerned about getting off them as quickly as possible, but the anxiety prevented me from being able to do this.

3. Stress, lack of sleep, anything that interferes with your sleep cycle can trigger the anxiety/insomnia and make it worse. Since you just got back from France, that seems like a clear stress and interference in sleep patterns that would throw you off.

4. Psychiatrists are the BEST people to see for insomnia and sleep problems, especially if they are willing to listen to your concerns and provide alternatives in addition to prescriptions. Also, when they give you clear information about whether or not your concerns are valid and why. He/she will also tell you what to do if, say, one night you have no problem, but the next night you take the medication and then anxious, or whatever your cycle is.

My advice to you: See a psychiatrist. Take medication to sleep (I take Klonopin) as long as you need to get back on track. You will eventually get there and, when you do, you can taper off. Do NOT beat yourself up about taking medication. This is something PHYSICAL not something you can control. Sometimes our bodies need some assistance to get back on track and we need relief in order to function properly and be good mothers. Wishing you good sleep!

New mom suffering terrible insomnia

I am looking for advice on how to cope with/cure insomnia. I've never really had a problem with insomnia before but have been struggling with it a lot since my son was born. He now sleeps through the night but I do NOT. It's gotten worse and worse, I think mostly because I am now so ridiculously anxious about my inability to fall asleep or fall back to sleep when I inevitably wake up 2-3 times a night. I've had a number of nights lately where I get only a few hours sleep and that was with the help of melatonin or benadryl which are no longer doing the trick. My doc just prescribed trazodone at a low dosage and it definitely helps but also upsets my stomach and leaves me incredibly drowsy for hours the next day so it does not seem like a great solution. I'd also like to wean myself off sleeping drugs if possible. I am open to things like cognitive behavioral therapy though I am also a bit skeptical that it will be effective (at least right away as I'm pretty up in my head about it at this point and so on edge that I seem incapable of falling asleep without drugs.) Any recommendations on drugs, therapists or sleep specialists you've had good experiences with?! Please be as specific as you can. Thanks in advance! Eve

I always had a hard time falling asleep, and my 16 year old daughter has terrible insomnia, so here are some other ideas based on a long search for help:

There are other, different medications/herbs you can take. We've tried melatonin, Valerian root, clonodine, Ambien -- with essentially no success or with unacceptable side effects (daytime fogginess).

There are sleep/relaxation CDs you can listen to. I have one called Delta Sleep System which I bought for my daughter -- you can have it for free -- just email me your address and I'll send it. My daughter didn't like the sound, but it might work for you. (Trying to avoid spam, my email is ircom1 at yahoo dot com). You might also try meditation/guided visualization to help you relax after you've woken up.

A book you might read that I found extremely helpful is ''The Insomnia Answer'' by Paul Glovinsky. Clear, useful, practical, empowering, and solutions-oriented.

For my daughter, who has a ''busy'' mind and a lot of daily stress, we ended up going to the Stanford Sleep Disorders Clinic. We are finally beginning to see some progress! They did a comprehensive intake (on sleep habits, issues that affect sleep, how lack of sleep impacts daily functioning, etc.). We saw an MD initially, but then shifted to one of their psychologists when it became clear that her issues were related to her ''sleep habits'', hormone balance, and patterns rather than any physical issue like sleep apnea. They will tailor a sleep strategy designed to deal with your particular issue. It's not a one size fits all solution when it comes to finding sleep so I won't go into what strategies worked for her. The MD was the one who suggested the Insomnia Answer and their methodology is very similar. But having a professional help identify the issues and suggest solutions--especially after a long and fruitless search--has been wonderful! More progress in two months than in two years.

Finally, I think insomnia is common with new moms because you are in a hyper-vigilant state about your little one. Hard to relax when you're always on guard! So a final thought: can you switch roles with your partner so you feel like you have certain ''nights off'' from your self-imposed guard duty? I don't mean getting up, since your baby is sleeping, I mean ''letting go'' of the sense of responsibility that may be keeping you in a state of ''alert''. Just a thought! Sleeping Easier

So, if I were you, I'd see a therapist and talk to your doctor about seeing if you can get on anti-anxiety meds for a temporary time. I hated the idea of doing it, but once I did, it was so life-changing. In fact, I miss taking celexa because I felt so great on it. I just experienced weight gain with it so had to stop it. (Not everyone has that side effect, however, and it was worth it to get back to normal). Good luck. anon

Some specific things that helped me were:

1) decreased stimulation as the evening set in; so after dinner I stopped talking on the phone, having visitors, even watching tv. I'd read a book and then get in bed (after getting the baby all ready, etc);

2) had a similar routine every night - as in #1 - and got into bed fairly early, no later than 10pm;

3) sometimes writing in a journal when awake and lying in bed really helped me, esp when I was particularly anxious, I'd just write it all down;

4) covering the clock so I couldn't see what time it was;

5) eliminating noise with earplugs and make it as dark as possible;

6) stopping ALL caffeine - even chocolate (I did this for 9 mo after my daughter was born but I think it was mostly psychological);

7) I took Valerian which helped; I didn't take it every night but it always helped. I worried about it impacting my breast milk but it all seemed to turn out OK; I hated the way Benadryl made me feel and it didn't usually work for me.

good luck. I have totally been there, it is so difficult! Oh and I also tried acupuncture, which I think helped (but also that could've been psychological too!) insomnomaniac

First, I assume that you've already tried all the sleep hygiene, exercise, going off caffeine, etc. etc. etc. You'll probably get a lot of people recommending that. In my case, I tried all that and was still in a world of yuck. I also tried cognitive therapy and found it marginally helpful, but not fundamentally so.

Also, assume your doc has checked your thyroid. If not, it's an easy test and could potentially help. Last, if you notice that it's cyclical with your periods (worst right around your period), it's possible that a birth-control pill could help stabilize your hormones, at least a little.

What HAS helped:

Do what you need to do to stop a bad insomnia bout from spawning secondary anxiety. As you know, once you're panicked about not sleeping, nothing will help (benadryl, etc.). I'm not sure I know anyone who wouldn't become psychotic after going several nights without sleep. These are the cases the meds are made for; be they anxiety meds or sleep meds or whatever. To prevent a spiral.

Unless your docs find some magic cause (mine didn't), time is probably the cure. So your only job is to survive until things return to normal with your sanity in tact and without becoming addicted to meds. I was pretty uptight about using med, so I was super cautious about what I'd take when. For example, I had an anxiety med that I'd take (half dose) on only the very worst nights. I also had a short-acting sleep med (sonata) that I could take on nights where it was clear I wasn't going to fall back to sleep but there was still enough hours left to care about.

If I took meds one night, I'd tough it out the next night. I'd seize on the times that things were going semi-decently to have a nice med-free streak. Or where I'd only use benadryl or whatever.

It's not glamorous or even very desirable. But in my case, I found that I had to let myself do what was needed to keep it together while time worked its (very slow) magic.

I still don't know what really caused my insomnia. I'm just glad that it seems to be waning, but it's taken 18 months to get here. Chris

Kid sleeps through the night, but I can't anymore

My daughter did not truly start sleeping through the night until she was around one-and-a-half, and only started sleeping past the hour of 6am recently (she is now going on three). I have no idea if that makes me especially blessed or burdened - mostly I'm just grateful to have gotten to this stage. The problem is that these past few years of interrupted sleep and early wakings have wreaked havoc on my own sleeping patterns. I used to sleep soundly through the night. Now I wake up frequently, even though it's no longer from my daughter's crying. I never go into a deep sleep. It's like my radar is still on at the same acute level it was during that first year-and-a-half. And even though 7am once seemed brutally early to me, I now would consider it a luxury if I could just sleep in til that glorious hour along with my daughter.

I only sleep deeply when I take an over-the-counter sleeping pill (diphenhydramine HCL). I'm worried that I'm developing a dependency on the stuff, even though it's not supposed to be habit-forming. So I'm trying to wean myself off of it and am back to sleeping poorly. I've done a lot of reading about sleep disorders, but all the literature seems to be addressed to insomniacs: my problem is not falling asleep, but staying asleep. None of the literature seems to address the specific sleep issues faced by parents in the wake of prolonged sleep deprivation. I'd be grateful to hear about others' experiences and strategies for sleep re-normalization. Will I ever sleep through the night again?

I eventually got over it after about a year with my daughter, but there was no way I was doing that again when I had my son - I was just so tired! And obviously being tired affects everything you do - I was crabby, couldn't concentrate at work, too tired to work out/etc.

This time, I went the acupuncture route. And also cupping (that's where they use these glass cups on your back and it creates big pock marks - which are temporary). It was THE best thing to get me sleeping again, without drugs. The acupuncture helped, but not like the cupping. With acupuncture, I'd sleep well for a couple of nights, but then go back to restless sleep. After just one time with the cupping, I slept like a baby. Went back maybe a month later to do it again, and once more when I went through another period of sleeplessness, but that was it. I generally sleep GREAT now, rarely use the OTC drugs (I use unisom on rare occasion if I just know I'm too wired to sleep).

So just a suggestion to try the acupuncture/cupping route. Anything is better than taking drugs. My acupuncturist also did the cupping - I'm sure many of them do. Laura

re: insomnia, I think there are different kinds. Falling asleep insomnia and staying asleep insomnia. *apparently* the most successful long-term way of treating both kinds w/out sleeping pills is cognitive therapy, which as far as I can tell is your basic sleep hygiene stuff (not staying in bed awake more than 1/2 hr, consistent bed time, not spending too much overall time in bed, etc). I tried a website where you fill out a chart every night (time to bed, time awake, time out of bed, etc.) and then get suggestions from a ''real person'' once a week. It was marginally helpful. http://www.cbtforinsomnia.com/

fwiw, in my case--surprisingly--the thing that has helped the most was going on the birth-control pill. I think my hormones had gotten thrown by childbirth/breastfeeding/weaning and having them regulated made sleep more stable. Sadly, the pill also made me hormonal, so we're still experimenting with the dose.

I know thyroid is often a culprit... It's a simple test, if you haven't done it already. (Mine was normal.) Don't know about you, but I just kept having the feeling that my nighttime ''idle'' was just running a bit fast.

That said, I still don't have this thing licked. I was hoping time would be the best help, but as more time passes, I wonder. I'll watch the replies you get with curiosity. Glad you wrote in with the Q! Chris

Not sleeping well since baby was born

I have a great one-year old baby who's been sleeping beautifully past 3-4 months. Unfortunately, although I never had any sleep issues before I had her, I cannot seem to bounce back. The best I can do is to sleep 6 hours, then wake up for 15 min and go back to sleep. If something happens, like friend's Birthday party, and I go to bed late, I get 4 hours of sleep at night for days. I still use the monitor, but it's only to hear her when she's up for the day. I think I'm pretty good about not picking up her sleeping noises, and she's a fairly quiet sleeper anyways. Do you have any advice? tiered mom

When I stopped taking it I was unable to sleep well and my doctor prescribed a series of sleeping pills for me. I sleep more soundly (but will still wake up to the sound of noise) and for longer periods and feel more rested and able to function. I've tried at least 8 different sleeping meds and combinations of prescriptions but Lunesta seems to have helped best. I would highly recommend seeing someone about your sleep problems and I'm happy to discuss things that I've tried if you'd like to email me. Good Luck! Jessica

Insomnia and panic attacks since my son was born

Since my son was born, 3 months ago, I developed panic attacks at night (palpitation, shortness of breath, tense neck and stomach), resulting in severe and chronic insomnia.

First it was due to the fact that my son was waking up every 1-2 hours for feeding, and often wouldnt go to sleep in between, which made me tense as I laid in bed, alarmed at any sound he would make which ususally would end in a cry.. after 2 weeks of that I started dreading the night, knowing it would not bring on rest.

Now my son sleeps in a separate bed in a separate room with my husband, and he sleeps through the night.

I on the other hand am having problems falling asleep or staying asleep, many nights I only get 2-3 hours a night, which makes me desperate and beyond fatigued. I'm looking for support, insight, and words of encouragement. Thanks so much, Rufus

It will get better and you will sleep normally again. I invested in some good ear plugs that helped me sleep while I knew my husband was able to hear the baby. hang in there

I understand that you're only looking for support and encouragement - and that might help some - but you might also consider talking to a professional. Left untreated, the symptoms of postpartum mood disorders often worsen. There are a number of "treatment" options, but the important thing is that your panic attacks CAN be treated effectively.

I suggest that you speak to a mental health provider who specializes in helping women with postpartum mood disorders. I would recommend speaking with Lee Safran, MFT. You can reach her at 510-496-6096. You might also consider attending one of the support groups at Perinatal Psychotherapy Services (http://www.perinatalpsychotherapy.com/). I wish you well.

I ended up being referred to a psychiatrist, because I had to have some kind of medication to help, but I couldnt take most drugs because I was nursing. I saw her for about 6 mos and I took Xanax in very low doses for a while, then stopped. You likely have an anxiety disorder, and a doctor will probably recommend you consider antidepressants - a couple do not ''transfer'' to breastmilk. I wish that I had also been referred to a CBT specialist in sleep disorders - I hear these are even better for treatment (tho you may need drugs to help at first). I wanted to get into a sleep clinic, but the waiting list was months. I also found a few books very helpful - especially one written by a guy from the Mayo Clinic, and William Demant's book. There are many ''good sleep habits'' that will help a bit.

I really advise you to get on the phone and ask your OB for ideas and a referral, because you would be surprised how fast you can collapse if not sleeping with anxiety - a close friend of mine ended up being hospitalized! She had to stop breastfeeding, went on serious meds for a year. Thats what made me take action fast, and I'm glad I did. Feel free to contact me offline with questions. sw

I get the Andrew Weil news letter, and it just recently had a list of six ways to sleep better. Here they are:

   1. Establish a consistent bedtime routine, and try to go to
bed at the same time every night.
   2. Get plenty of exercise during the day. The more energy you
expend during the day, the sleepier you will feel at bedtime.
   3. Reduce or eliminate your intake of caffeine, stimulants and
alcohol. Even when consumed early in the day, these can affect sleep.
   4. Avoid large meals late in the evening.
   5. Learn and practice a relaxation technique regularly:
Breathing exercises, meditation and yoga are good examples.
   6. Don't obsess about not sleeping. Instead, remind yourself
that while sleeplessness is troublesome, it isn't life-threatening. 

Fortunately, the Ativan worked for me and I started sleeping and went to see a psychiatrist (at Kaiser Oakland) the next day who was great and diagnosed me with postpartum anxiety and prescribed Celexa which is an anti-depressant and good for anxiety. Within a month my sleeping was back to normal, my symptoms were gone and I was functioning and caring for my daughter. It was a very scary time and without professional help I wouldn't have recovered so quickly--or at all.

You need to seek out a psychiatrist--one who specializes in women's/reproductive psychiatry would be ideal. There are meds that are safe for breastfeeding--both antidepressants and sleeping meds-- so don't let that be a reason not to seek help. Your baby needs a healthy, functioning Mama and you won't be if you do not get help.

You may also want to seek out a cognitive behavioral therapist who can help you with your anxiety/fears. CBT helps people to think differently and challenge their worry thoughts which leads to less anxiety/fear. It is best used in conjunction with anti-anxiety meds for moderate to severe cases. I am a social worker and have done alot of research on the topic of anxiety since struggling with it myself.

I wish you the best and hope that you get the help you need as soon as possible. You, your baby and partner deserve for you to be well. been there

My insomnia has gotten worse since my son was born

Throughout my adult life, I have experienced occasional insomnia. But since my son was born, 15 mos ago, I have really struggled with it. I have had all types on insomnia: sleep onset, waking up in the middle of the night and early rising. I had pretty bad postpartum depression/anxiety was started on an anti-depressant. This did the trick for a while and I began to sleep better. After a couple of months though , the insomnia returned. It seems to cycle this way. I sleep great for six or eight weeks and then I sleep terribly again. During these times, I rely heavily on Ambien prescribed by my psychiatrist. It works great to put me to sleep but it also gives me bizarre and scary thoughts plus I get depressed after a night or two. I am looking for advice from insomniacs who have been able to overcome it. I feel I need a full nights sleep or I really cannot function. I have tried exercise, calicum, & behavior modification. I kicked my husband out of bed months ago (he even respinds to our kids at night!). I go to sleep at the same time every night. I have good sleep hygeine (sleep with a fan on, earplugs in). I do not drink or eat before bed. I had a check up and my thyroid was fine. I am looking for a permanent solution to this. I do not want to lay awake at night fretting about not sleeping anymore. I do not want to rely on drugs anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions?? I'll read, spend money, see specialists, stand on my head if I have to. I just want to be a normal sleeper again. Poor Sleeper Who Loves Sleep

I've learned to live with my insomnia by talking about what causes it in therapy. That helps sometimes. When it's late at night and I have unpleasant emotions by knowing what they are from therapy and doing some deep breathing, it's easier for me to fall asleep.

My best advice is not to stay in bed when you can't fall asleep. Get up and watch some tv or read until you feel sleepy even if it's five minutes before you have to get up. I have gone to work many times without sleeping at all. It's a miserable day but at least the following night I fall asleep pretty easily. One thing I've learned is not to take naps during the day when I can't sleep. That way I maintain a somewhat regular cycle. Knows what it's like

Now that baby is sleeping more, I'm not

Has anyone had problems returning to a normal sleep schedule post- post-partum? It's 5 AM and I've been up since 3 for the third time this week -- it seems that now my daughter's sleeping for longer stretches, I am incapable of getting the good night's sleep I so desperately need. I wake up at the least little noise (mom-dar) and that's it. I'm awake. My brain isn't racing, I just can't fall back asleep. I get regular exercise (a 4 mile round-trip walk (half of it uphill), or a soccer game, or swimming), I don't drink caffeine, I don't eat preservatives because they make my girl gassy, I drink plenty of water. It seems that there might be a metabolic component -- I'm often overheated or hungry when I finally figure out how to fix the problem. This is making me crazy -- I'm either so tired that I'm a total zombie and don't feel safe doing things like driving, or worse, I'm tired enough to be really emotionally unstable. My poor husband. Any advice or understanding of the source of this insomnia? sleepy, grumpy, and dopey

Sleep issues ever since my son was born

Ever since my son was born almost three years ago I've had sleep issues -- anxiety, I think, about not being about to fall back to sleep, being exhausted the next day, etc (my son is a very early riser, and most days I'm up around 5:30 am). It takes me about an hour or more to get back to sleep when I'm awakened at night. Now that I'm expecting another baby I'm getting really worried. My son goes to preschool now so I can catch up on missed sleep during the day, but with a new baby I won't have this luxury. I tried to learn self-hypnosis for sleep a couple of years ago, but it didn't help enough. Now I'm wondering if anyone has a suggestion for some kind of relaxation tape I could listen to in the middle of the night, which would help me learn to fall back to sleep more easily. Perhaps something that I listen to a few times and then hopefully internalize. I'm just dreading how tired I'm going to be if I can't return to sleep easily after those every-three-hours nighttime feedings...Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Already Tired

1. Thinking about the last dream that I had. Or even a dream that I had a few days before. It put my mind back into that sleep state.

2. Counting backwards from 100 in 3's.

The anxiety about not sleeping really added to the insomnia. If you can find a way to give up on stressing on that issue, I'm sure it will help.

There is a very good web page called Talk About Sleep. They have many books and CDs on insomnia and relation tapes and I can often find information there that is different than the standards. ( A very std thing that helped me also was to get the clock out of the room or turn it around so you can't see it.) Hope this helps. Been There

Can't sleep since child was born

Ever since the birth of my baby 13 months ago, I've experienced very poor sleep - I have insomnia, hold my breath during periods of the night, and wake up often (my daughter is sleeping through the night so she is not the source of the problem). I am looking for recommendations for treatment from people who have had success treating similar sleep disorders and now can sleep deeply and restfully. I am open to acupuncture, homeopathy - etc. Any recommendations would be appreciated! sleepless in berkeley

Some other things that helped me were vigorous but relaxing exercise during the day (in other words, exercise that isn't just pushing the stroller), acupuncture, yoga and breathing exercises targeted to help with sleep, and occasionally using Hyland's brand homeopathic sleep aids, Calms Forte or Insomnia. The main thing that helped, however, was time. When my son was was around 15-16 months old, I realized I was sleeping better. I hope this helps. Sweet dreams. Carolyn