Berkeley Parents Network: Small for his Age

Berkeley Parents Network

Small for his Age

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > School-aged Kids > Small for his Age

Small size comebacks for 5-year-old

Sept 2002

My son is very small for his age. He has always been in the lowest 5th percentile in height and I imagine always will be for his gender. He is five-years-old and is often mistaken for much younger given his size, including by his peers. I want to help him find positive ways to respond to the inevitable statements he gets from children he doesn't know about his size, like ''you don't look 5, you look like you're 3.'' His knee-jerk response is to say ''I am so 5'' in an irritated and mad voice. I want to coach him to respond more positively, or at least not in a mad way, but I just don't know how to help him. Are there any other parents of small children (boys) out there who can give me words of wisdom, and advice to share with my son? Thanks for any help.

I think your son's response is just perfect, frankly. Their comments are rude and he is right to sound annoyed. If he was saying ''I am SO five, you stupidhead,'' I might suggest toning it down a little but what you're reporting sounds well within the bounds to me. But if it makes you uncomfortable, what about saying in front of the person ''Now, Zack, she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, so let's just tell her in a nice way that you are in fact five'' which might also help the clueless person get the message. Fran

My son is extremely small for his age as well. He will be turning 7 in a couple of weeks and is only 42 pounds and not very tall (10th percentile). Since his dad and I are not very tall either, I don't expect him to be ever tall so I have been focussing on all the things he is good at. He is a very fast runner and very good at all sorts of athletic sports. I really try hard to boost his self esteem because quite frankly, he will always be small and kids will always tease him. I point out all kinds of people, large, short, heavy, skinny and comment on their disposition. See how nice that person helped us in the store, etc. I also always talk about the fact that I was the 3rd smallest in my entire school and that I was teased a lot, but that I was very good at certain things which the other kids could not do. Also, try to make light of the situation without trying to make him feel bad of who he is. I know it is difficult, but all kids will end up being teased at some point or another, if it is not size, it will be something like a funny last name. Jannette

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