UCB Parents Advice

Movie Rules

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See also: Going to the Movies with Kids

What about movies? (As in, "But everybody ELSE has seen it!!") I tend to be little more restrictive in what my 11 year old can see, and I want info. before she goes. Is it PG-13? Why? "Oh, it's just the language and I hear that at school anyway." She's seen several PG-13 ones lately, but I hate to think of the really brainless "teen" ones that are around. I use the Tribune Family Viewing reviews, which have been helpful. Going to the movies with friends is a fun, relatively safe, and "hey look how independent I am" thing to do, so part of me hates to say no, but... My friends without kids say to let her see anything she wants! Helpful...Any ideas? (4/99)
re: movies

oh, this issue!! what i hear "all of my friends get to watch R rated movies any time they want....i'm the only person i know that can't watch whatever they want..." . this is probably true, and has been for quite some time. our daughter is 12 1/2, and only last year did we allow her to watch pg 13 movies. i think that this is an issue that only you can decide for your family, but i think that it's ok to have a restriction based on whatever your values are--in our situation, we don't feel that she needs any more exposure to "adult" themes, be they sexual, language, or violence, than she is already getting. she is very mature, but after all only 12 1/2, and has a whole adult lifetime ahead of her to watch whatever she wants. i also find that her friends who see some of these movies don't really get them--but want to see them because they are "cool". you know what your family situation is, and can set limits accordingly in spite of the fact that "nobody else's family does...." (4/99)

I drew the line with PG-13 movies. Although some R-rated movies are only for language, I still said "no." The response was it wasn't anything worse than what they hear at school (which is distressing in and of itself) but I told them that they didn't need to hear it everywhere else. As for those no-brainer teen movies...it's all part of the fun and unless it contains something really objectionable...promotes drugs, etc., I'd go ahead and let your child go. (4/99)
"everyone else is doing it/has it/can go to it, etc" is classic. At some point you just need to be the bad guy and say "too bad, you're not everyone else." It's easier if you can think ahead and pick your battles where you really want to make a stand, and let some of the other stuff go; but of course, sometimes you can't think ahead....

Another trick that I've tried that works for diffusing information aquired via rotten movies, TV shows, etc. is to insist that if my daughter wants to see it, she's going to have to describe/critique it for me afterwards. On occasion this has even elicited the reply that the movie wasn't that good after all, and has led to discussions (however brief) on violence, bad behavior, and realtiy vs. the movies. If your kid is going to be exposed to trash, which is inevitable, some critical thinking to go along with it can help them work their way through it. Many thanks again for making this forum possible. (5/99)

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