UCB Parents Advice about School-aged Kids
"Boy crazy" 5 and 6-year olds
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Oct 2001
My 6-year old and some of her friends seem (to me) to be "boy crazy." They
talk a lot about their "boyfriends" they have, and giggle and blush when
talking about them. My daughter also makes a clear distinction between boys
whom she considers friends, and one particular "boyfriend." I'm a single
mother, but my daughter's friends are in mom-and-dad families. Just how
common is this? Is it one of those phases that will pass until adolescence
nears, or will it all just be a matter of degree from here on?
My 6 year old daughter and her pals at school are going through the "boy
crazies" too. At first I was concerned because I was never really boy crazy.
But then I realized that this phase is helping to prepare her for
relationships in the future. There are some boys at her school that she does
not like because they are bullies, others who are pals, and others that she
just goes "ga ga" over. She goes just plain weird over older boys. She
created an imaginary boy friend recently who walks with us or rides in the
car with us. We have to wait for him to buckle his seat belt before we can
drive somewhere. Although I think it is a normal phase of a girl's life, but
I have some concerns that I have tried to address. I don't want her to be so
wild for boys that she lets them walk all over her when she is older. To
help her learn about personal safety, I took her to Kid Power training. To
help her learn what a good partner is, I have emphasized the importance of
chosing friends who treat you with courtesy and respect. Fortunately, we
have my husband, her daddy, as a model of what a great partner can be. She
also knows that relationships and families can come in different forms. The
other day she pretended that she and I were female partners and she was the
mommy who gave birth to the baby and I was the other mommy. Quite a busy
little mind.
I raised 3 daughters, two on my own...If you play along, they will be
fine...but girls like boys so get used to it. If you try and punish
them, they will rebel like we did when we were kids.. Timothy Falke
We've had the same experience with our 6-year-old girl
and some of her friends. I finally talked with her
and told her that "six-year-olds don't have
boyfriends." There are other things I've told her
that six-year-olds don't do (that she wants to do),
i.e. wear lipstick and make-up to school (I let her
wear them to play dress-up at home, but not to
school), so she seemed to accept that the "no
boyfriend" rule was along those same lines --
something she is just too young for. I thought it was
important to say something, because I also felt it was
getting out of hand. I've also talked with
well-meaning adults (friends of ours), who used to ask
her "How's school?" and "Do you have a boyfriend?" or
tease her about boys, all in fun, but I think she
began to think she was SUPPOSED to have a boyfriend.
There's so much pressure on these little girls to grow
up so quickly, I think it's important that whenever we
get a chance, we protect their childhood for them.
Colleen
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