Visiting Colleges
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School & Preschool > Visiting Colleges
Oct 2007
Parents and students can begin their search online for
excellent, often affordable (with merit and need-based aid),
but largely unknown colleges.
The first website to explore is http://www.ctcl.com -
Colleges That Change Lives, from Loren Pope's book of the
same name.
The second is http://www.collegesofdistinction.com - a
project of diverse administrators, alumni, and students.
Finally, those exploring in-state schools can look beyond
UC's and CSU's at http://www.aiccu.edu - The Association of
Independent California Colleges and Universities.
Remember, no web search can substitute for a campus visit,
but it can at least broaden your awareness and start you in
the right direction.
Eion Lys College Counselor
Jan. 2002
We're parents of a junior. During the Spring break and summer we'd like to
tour some college and university campuses in Southern California and the
Southwest or the Northwest? Any ideas of where to begin in terms of joining
an organized tour anytime? Help!
Cathleen
Some high schools sponsor trips for groups of students to certain sets of
colleges the school considers to be interesting. But that kind of 'tour'
(back east, say) may not hit the places that your student is really
interested in. Also, the tours I've heard of have been for the students
(and a few teachers or advisors) only, not for families. (I could be wrong.)
If you want to go as a family and to visit several different kinds of
places, I suggest that you narrow your focus ahead of time. So where to
begin your campus tour - at the bookstore! The problem with choosing a
college is not that there are too few, but that there are too many. I'd
suggest that before you go off to Southern California, the Southwest, or
the Northwest with your High School junior, you pick up a copy of the
latest annual 'Fiske Guide' to the most interesting colleges in the US. It
will tell you a LOT - my daughter and I read it almost cover to cover. My
son skipped over almost all of the liberal arts colleges and concentrated
on technical/research institutions. Also pick up a copy of 'The College
Admissions Mystique' by Bill Mayher. Talk as a family about what your own
student is interested in. We made up matrixes with colleges down the side
vs. desired qualities (according to your student) across the top. From 25
or 30 to start, we narrowed the list to 10 or 12. Even that was too many to
visit for us, partly because they were really spread out across the country.
Before making travel reservations, find the web sites of the colleges you
are most interested in. Take their virtual tours. They are fun and give you
a beginning impression of the campus. Also check the college ratings online
or in a magazine (Business Week?). Then make up your own itinerary of what
you what to see. Call to get reservations at the individual campuses, and
also for interviews on-site if they are available or necessary. Either
through friends or by calling the Admissions Office, it can be arranged for
your student to stay overnight at the dorm, to go on a tour, etc. If you
are interested and get on the mailing list, the campus may send you flyers
about open houses or special events for prospective students and their
parents. You may want to be with your student part of the time and then to
let them off on their own part of the time.
It is good to visit before applying if you can! After getting the
acceptance letters, if you still haven't seen the colleges, you can visit
then (April of Senior year). Nice to know your student is accepted, but
then he or she is under pressure to decide pretty quickly. And the
air-fare at short notice can be costly. My daughter turned in her response
in person at the campus of her choice on the deadline day. Whew! (She's in
grad school now.) Good luck and have fun!
Bonnie
Aug 2000
My daughter is going to be visiting some colleges this
fall. Her father or I plan to go with her, which annoys
her greatly. She says that "No one's parents" accompany
their kids on these visits. Since visiting the financial
aid people is the main item on our parental agenda,
something our daughter can't do effectively herself, we
figure she will just have to get over it. However, I am
wondering if parents do or do not generally go with their
kids on these visits. Also, how is this handled when the
college invites the child without mentioning the parent?
Louise
When I went to a college with my daughter last week, every student was
accompanied by at least one parent. The tour was for everyone - parents and
students. The interview was for the student alone. While the student was
being interviewed, an admissions officer conducted an informational session
for the parents. I believe this is standard procedure.
Cynthia
Reply to Louise re: Visiting Colleges:
I went with my almost 17 year-old daughter the first 2 weeks of August to
visit a few colleges down in Southern California (this trip was combined
with a vacation). Although I have come to accept the fact that teens do
not want their parents around and want to handle their lives themselves, I
can tell you that my daughter never said one word against us going together
and, as a matter of fact, she was somewhat relieved and even glad that I
was there with her (there are a lot of questions to ask!). I can also tell
you that, from what I've seen this summer (we toured 5 colleges) most
high-school students had at least one parent--if not the whole
family!--touring the campus with them. There were just a few students
without a parent, but they were in a small group with some of their friends
or colleagues. Even though the colleges' invitation is in the student's
name, parents are always welcome and to a certain extent, expected.
Patricia
I just sent my daughter off to her freshman year at Mt. Holyoke. I
think she made a marvelous choice. Her college counselor stressed
that kids should take their own look at colleges, so when we went for
visits, I toured on my own unless she really wanted me there. She
flew to Massachusetts by herself to visit Mt. Holyoke, Smith, etc.,
and discovered that Mt. Holyoke was just right. I could take care of
all the financial aid negotiations by phone and letter.
Sally
I teach at a university and I have seen many parents on
campus with kids who are prospective students. My feeling
(as a parent and a professor) is that it is a very good idea
for parents to get a sense of the environment their child will
enter -- the total environment, not just the curriculum and
the dorms and the financial situation. For instance, where I
used to teach, the only shopping and entertainment area within
walking distance was a long strip of tawdry bars, where on any
given night, a parent of a prospective student could have seen
the current students drinking themselves into oblivion. Safety,
lifestyle, community resources, cultural outlets, etc. become
much more obvious on a visit. You are quite right that you should
talk personally to the financial aid people if you are paying for
your child's education. Where I would urge parents to be more
reticent is in the area of planning course work or majors for
their children. A prospective student should make his/her own
academic choices. Perhaps it is just because my field is in an
under-subscribed discipline, but I think parents who try to guide
their kids into "useful" majors are doing both their children and
the general academic endeavor a disservice. Perhaps if you
promise your daughter to stay in the background on all questions
except those having to do with your pocketbook and her safety, she
might be less resistant. But she is wrong to think that parents
don't accompany their children... they do and I think they should.
She's lucky that you want to take the time to do it!
Good luck!
Linda
My husband and I have gone on numerous college visits with
his daughter over the last year. Not only were parents ALWAYS
present for the tours but frequently other family members were
there as well (younger kids, most looking horribly bored, but
present). The college may invite the student individually as
a matter of form because that's how they keep track of the
applicants, but parents definitely go (it's not like a wedding
invitation). The parents, however, are not present for the
interviews with admissions officers. And we never met with
any financial aid people; that seems to be all done via paperwork.
Fran
Of course other parents accompany their children on college
visits! Not only for the practical reason you mentioned, but
just because it's a big step for the parents as well, and you're
just as interested/excited/anxious about her choice of new
environments. I don't have a child that age myself, but I
do remember what's like to be that age - pushing parents away,
but secretly hoping they don't listen to everything you say.
And if you didn't go with her, she'd probably regret it - she'd
see other kids with their parents and feel a bit envious that
she can't share her excitement and fears with you. Accompanying
her shows that you still care, that although you'll miss her
like heck (and everyone wants to know they'll be missed), you're
still supportive of this next phase in her life. As for the
phrasing on an invitation from a college - omitting
parents/guardians/etc - I would just assume it's "potential
student plus guest(s)" and they don't need to be explicit.
Perhaps things have changed since I visited colleges about
14 years ago, but I couldn't have imagined going WITHOUT my
mother. As a parent I think you should have at least some
say in the decision, even if it is simply sharing your point
of view, since I imagine you will be making a significant
financial contribution. I would consider it very strange for
a high school student to visit a campus without a parent, since
the child is just that, although he/she may not believe it,
and if only for safety needs to be with a parent. All of my
friends visited colleges accompanied by parents, except if
they went for a second overnight visit which some colleges offer.
As for colleges addressing materials only to the student, this
seems normal as he/she is the prospective freshman and I think
it is implicit that parents be involved. Hope this helps.
Erin
It would be very unusual for a prosepctive college frshman/high school
senior to do her college visits alone - without a parent or other
close adult. I have dozens of friends who have been doing this the
past few eyars, and not one has sent their teen alone.- except on an
occasional campus tour. In some cases the parent stayed away during
the actual tour with other students - or waited in a waiting room of
coffee shop during an interview. Sometimes, the student does the
meetings, and the parent goes to toehr events on campus that are
especailly arranged for parents of visiting students. A quick call to
the admission office can let you know what is available. We found
that the choice of school is generally a joint decision of student and
parent, and if the parent is completely unexposed, then it is hare to
have an informed discussion. In our family, due to finances, my
borther (the dad) my mom (the grandmother) and me (the aunt) took
turns taking her to various places so that she had someone to help
with logistics, finances, and just to be supportive. Several other
family members have started college in the last few years and none of
them went to visits alone unless they had a friend already living on
campus and stayed with them to see "dorm life." Perhaps you and your
daughter could compromise and you would be present at some activities
- and make yourself scarce - like at the bookstore - for others. Good
luck.
Anonymous
I totally subscribe to parent-visiting -with -teen for all the reasons
already mentioned. I did have one element of this issue that hadn't
been raised. The colleges visited aren't often easily accessible.
Addtionally, usually, one is trying to visit several colleges in a few
days. This is done reasonably easily with the advantage of a car. If
you are going to a location at some distance from Berkeley, a rental
car is required. It is very difficult for someone under 25 to rent a
car on their own. Even if you are doing a california circuit with the
family car, I don't know many who turn over the car to a junior to
take around the state to visit UCs and other schools.
There are some college counselors who offer rather high priced trips
to New England to visit schools. In this case parents didn't go. Can't
say I subscribe to this but it is an option.
Although the majority probably visit schools in spring of junior year
or fall of senior year (we chose November so she could see what New
England really looked like when all turned gray), there were several
families I knew that went through the application process and when
acceptances were received, visited the schools that were in the final
decision process. This can sometimes be difficult to schedule in
mid-April but for some people it worked well.
At the end of our daughter's senior year, when she was deciding
between 2 schools, she flew to them on her own, took public transit,
stayed in the dorm, and attended classes with older friends. She went
to each school for 2 days. This was a key experience (and well worth
the money) in helping her sort out the final two schools. But we
would never have sent her on her own in the spring or fall to visit 6
locations in 5 days .
merle
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