Pre-School in danger of closing - seeking options

My four year-old son is in a pre-school that is in danger of closing, but the parents all want our kids to stay together. We love the teachers. If the school closes, is there any way to ''retain'' the teachers and keep the kids together? I can't imagine what this might involve but am hoping someone has advice for the legal and practical implications (licensing? finding a space? taxes?) Thank you for any advice - love our teachers

If the reason for the closure is more legal (e.g. serious licensing violations at the site, no qualified director, etc), then this is a more difficult question to answer. I would highly recommend you give a call to Community Care Licensing in Oakland. If the case is in Licensing's Legal office, then you can ask to speak to the attorney assigned to the case to get more info on what is going on with the case, and to get an idea of timelines for possible closure, and options available to parents and teachers.

For background on the facility's problems, I would highly recommend you look at the archives of your child's pre-school in two places: here on BPN - if there are violations that are possibly shutting down the facility now, I am willing to bet other parents complained about those problems in the past; and in Licensing's facility file for the pre-school - same bet for these files.

The Licensing office at 1515 Clay Street in Oakland is your best place to start to get answers to your questions. A second option is to call up Bananas to see what other options may be available to you. They are a great resource for child care questions. hopes this helps point you in the right direction

Chaotic Preschool

My daughter started preschool in September, and in many ways it is wonderful. She is normally shy, but I see her coming out of her shell and making friends. She is in a room with mostly 2 and 3 year olds. However, I'm concerned about the level of chaos I see in the classroom, and I'm hoping the BPN community can tell me if my concern is justified, or what I'm describing is par for the course with this age group.

There have been a number of incidents in the school with a couple of children hitting and biting other kids (even drawing blood), with little action on the part of the school to address the problem; and when I observe the classroom, it is usually mayhem- multiple children crying, screaming, and fighting at any given time. The teachers seem stretched very thin. And the Director recently left with very little notice. One of the teachers will be taking on his administrative responsibilities (which means she is less available in the classroom).

During the preschool selection process, I visited a number of Montessori schools, and I was impressed with the order and calm of the classroom. However, I chose this play-based school because I thought it would be better for my daughter and her social skills. (I'm not concerned about ''academics'' at this age.) And because I really liked the director at the time (who has left). I was willing to overlook the chaos in September, but I thought the environment would be less stressful by December. My daughter does seem happy at the school, and she is attached to her teachers and making friends. We're coming upon renewal time, and I'm trying to decide if I should sign up for another year or try a different school. Advice? Unsure parent

As far as a general reply to the question, I do think that transition times, especially drop off and pick up, are often the most chaotic times for this age group, so it might be very helpful to try to observe at another time to see what is happening. and of course, most important would be the teacher's responses to your concerns. here again i have been very impressed with our current school. But let's talk more, if you'd like, as I do think that we may be able to discuss details and approaches more if our kids are, in fact, classmates. ml

As a parent, I get overwhelmed with lots of preschoolers running around and making noise and being chaotic. And I have years of coping mechanisms. I think it must be a lot harder on many preschoolers, but they have no choice, so they cope as well as they can.

Mostly, though, you sounded fairly unsatisfied with the school. So I say go with your gut and find another school. And if it's an option, you can take your daughter out of preschool completely. She'll have plenty of time to learn to socialize when she's 5 (or 4) and she (and the other kids!) are more mature. Right now, she mostly needs attentive adults.

All the best to you and your family opting out of preschool

Disappearing items at preschool

My 3-year old daughter is attending a preschool where our personal items seem to ''disappear'' frequently.

I have lost multiple BPA-free sippy cups/bottles with her name written on them and spare clothing (underwear, pants, shirt).

Today was the last draw. Her warm winter coat has gone missing. It was expensive.

How do I address this issue with the school? Everytime an item has gone missing I have asked around for it, asked the director and teachers, etc. They say they will look for it and then the topic is dropped. I go out and buy a replacement. Tired of the fairy snatchers

1. Name and phone number on every item that leaves your house.
2. Nothing leaves the house that would cause upset if it is lost (very important for toys!)
3. Always inventory, every day, when you pick her up. You are more likely to find it on the day it went missing than 2 weeks from today.
4. Check the lost-and-found, and keep checking back - it may have been stuffed behind a shelf and not found for a couple days before it made it into the L&F.
5. Check the playground, especially out of the way places.
6. Look through ALL the cubbies, not just your kid's. Sometimes a helpful parent picks something up off the floor and stuffs it into the nearest cubby.
7. Don't bother asking your kids who that jacket belongs to - they don't know. Send out a few emails to the parents of kids who come to your house.

Daughter coming home filthy from preschool

Our 4-yo daughter started preschool last month, and frankly, we're shocked at how filthy her clothes are by the time we pick her up. Is this normal? Does it get better? Obviously she's a child so she's not paying attention to dirt and cleanliness, plus the school prides itself on its indoor/outdoor space, but whoo! And she's one of the older kids!

No amount of washing seems to get them clean again. i wouldn't care so much if she didn't insist on wearing all her nicest clothes. My husband also noticed that the animals' cages aren't very clean, and as for washing nap-time linens, every family is on their own.

Just wondering if this is par for the course and when we'll be able to look at our child again without jaws dropping at the end of the day! also - any washing tips would be mightily appreciated!! pigpen is my daughter

Regarding the laundry - I make a magic potion of spray and wash and then quickly scrub powdered oxy clean over that. If the stain looks challenging - like dried tempra paint - I add enough water to activate the oxyclean and then let the article sit for at least an hour, but sometimes over night. I've successfully removed the fine granite dust of Yosemite, paints, blood, other bodily substances (think breastfed infant), yogurt, toothpaste, caked on mud, grass stains, ... And when I say lightly scrub, I mean just get the oxyclean to stick. Best of luck. sarah

Your daughter is doing what she needs to be doing. Hide her nice clothes that you really don't want her to get messy at school. The only visible clothes choice for school should be okay with you. Talk to your daughter about school-clothes and week-end clothes (or whatever you want to call it). If you are worried about the cleanliness of the school, then talk to the teachers about how you can help. I'm sure they would love parent volunteers to help periodically with cleaning animal cages. Messy means busy and engaged in preschool

As for you guys... maybe just let her pick out some school clothes that aren't expensive? Maybe give her some options that you pick out? ''Which one of these two outfits do you want to wear?'' Jenny

Send your kid to school clothes that are comfortable and that you don't care about. My daughter would only wear ''fancy dresses'' to school so we bought them used, used hand-me-downs, or bought them at costco. She wore the same ''fancy'' dresses to school over and over again and they were all ruined by the end of the school year. And, she loved preschool. - a preschool teacher

It might help you to separate out what your concerns are here. Remember, dirty clothes (from playing, not from peeing or whatever) are not really unhygenic. They won't hurt your daughter in any way, it just looks bad. Dirt doesn't make a kid sick. If it bothers you, you can get in the habit of bringing an extra pair of clothes if you have to go somewhere directly after preschool, and/or trying to get your daughter in the habit of wearing ''play clothes'' to school instead of her nice things.

If you are concerned about hygiene in the school, that's a different matter. I would take it upon myself to wash naptime sheets regularly if your school doesn't do that, and watch that they do clean up accidents that ARE unhygenic. For example, they should change your child's clothes promptly if she pees or throws up, they should try to keep her nose wiped, etc. I can't speak to the issue of animal cages directly, but unless the kids are directly handling the animals and/or their cages, I doubt that a dirty fish tank is a big deal.

You will also want your preschool to be attentive to the degree to which dirty clothes might bother your daughter. Some kids don't like to be in dirty clothes, and they should be helped to change if they are upset.

But if you're the only one who's bothered, and if it's mostly dirt on her clothes and not a substance that can cause illness, again, I would take it as a good sign that your daughter is enjoying her preschool! mom of 2 in preschool

Mainly, I separated my son's love of dirt and grass from myself as his mother, and stopped worrying that others would think I wasn't caring for his clothing. When anyone was rude enough to point out to me how filthy he was before I could get him changed, I learned to smile proudly and say, ''Yes, he throws his whole heart, soul and body into everything he does,'' and in time, I came to truly value this part of his personality.

FYI, the redeeming factor for my son was/is how much he LOVES his shower--he likes getting clean almost as much as he likes getting dirty, so now that he's in fourth grade, I find it balances out quite beautifully. He also by his own choice has long hair which he is required to keep clean, and I never have to remind him. So playing hard and getting dirty is not necessarily a reflection of future habits of cleanliness, if you're worried about that (I used to be).

Enjoy her passion for play if you can. Mom of Pigpen Too

Now my kids are in elementary school and their clothes still get trashed, so I still keep that stash of nice clothes separate.

I suggest you sit down and talk to your daughter about her clothes and explain that since she gets so dirty, and because you have a hard time getting clothes clean again she should dress in really comfortable clothes for preschool and can save her nice clothes for the weekend. Mom of dirty kids

AND . . . now that she is 9 years old, I understand how important it was to get THAT dirty. My daughter is in 3rd grade and knows how to burn up her energy playing at recess so she can concentrate in the classroom. She knows how to paint, plant flowers and examine things closely by getting on her knees on the ground. She understands that she is a kinesthetic learning and needs to be actively involved in activities to learn her best. Because she is not afraid to get dirty, she is not afraid to play against the boys in sports, is not afraid of tearing or ripping her clothes to climb trees, build forts or go camping.

I will tell you that we had exclusively two sets of clothes and if we went to a place directly after preschool where we felt she had to look presentable, we brought extra clothes. I also think you should not feel bad about sending your daughter to preschool in stained clothes. The kids don't care, good teachers don't care and your daughter should feel free to learn and explore - - - after all she will have decades of restriction about what to wear and when to wear it - - - she'll have under = decade to be free to explore and be herself regardless of what she wears.

And, I have to say, all of the dirt from APS actually made my daughter healthier and more resistant to colds, flu, etc. This is not just my opinion, but that of our pediatrician. Give me another 3 years of APS and Dirt

I've just sprayed everything with Shout then wash them in cold as soon as I get the chance to. If it's got paint on it, I let it soak in cold water before washing. And it's okay if some of the stains don't come out. crystal@cal.berkeley.edu

Regarding the animal care areas, that's a different story in my opinion. You may want to check into a PetSmart store and ask them about sanitation for children around whatever kind of pet they have in class. Chances are that a dirty cage of any sort is also poor conditions for the dear little animal, so you would be helping everyone. I found PetSmart employees helpful. Good luck and find a Thriftown near you! We go to the one in San Leandro, at something like 134th and E. 14th. All the clothes I buy there for my girls are excellent brands...just be sure you shop there without your kid, it takes longer to sort through to find the best quality.

One last thing, as a result of shopping this way for clothes for our whole family, we are doing a fantastic thing in terms of recycling, giving back, and not following the commercial efforts to get today's children to follow fads. As a result, my girls prefer their used clothing, have never asked me once to take them shopping (they are 7 and 8) and in general, we all see clothes as for fun and function, not to be ''cool'' in or concerned about preserving. leslie

As for the clothes, the school recommended ''dirt-friendly'' clothes from the start, so we were prepared. Now that a small set is ruined, he just cycles through them on preschool days so nothing else gets ruined, too. (I imagine this is easier with a boy, and a younger child, too, but that's the best we've been able to do!) mom of a grub bug

If there are particular items you really want to try to save for nicer-clothing occasions, I recommend soaking in OxiClean for general grime, and using a Spray-n-Wash stain stick treatment on particular spots (marker, paint, mud spatters, etc.) If you have greasy stains from food spills, treat them with dish soap before laundering.

I find that, on any given day, in general, the dirtier my kids' clothes and fingernails are, the more fun they had and often, the more they learned. :) Preschool Veteran

I still like to send him in nice clothes and the ones that don't come clean with the regular wash I soak for about 48 hrs in Oxi Clean. I start a small, hot wash in the washer and throw in 4 scoops of Oxi Clean. Once everything is nicely mixed, I turn off the washing machine and let it sit for 2 days. 95% of the stains are gone after about 48 hrs. Works like a charm! jj

When my son's clothes are especially funky, I soak them in OxoBrite, which is a non-chlorine bleach that works amazingly well. I would also recommend that your child have school clothes and then special clothes. Maybe you can set aside some of her ''good clothes'' for times that are not as messy.

You also mentioned that the preschool might not be that clean. This is a totally different issue than your child being dirty at the end of the day. While she might be covered in mud by pick-up time, you want to make sure that she is washing her hands before meals while in school and that the school cleans and sanitizes common areas like bathrooms, sinks, eating areas.

Finally, for your own sanity, I recommend embracing the dirtiness of childhood and being thankful that the truly messy activities are taking place at preschool and not in your living room. :-) Mother of Dirty Kid

Re: cleaning...I don't know what kind of washer you have, but I have an LG frontloader...one of its settings allows for 'heavily soiled' items. I set it to that, add oxyclean and detergent and let it run its course. I actually got two-year-old mud stains out of the knees of a pair of pants, just last week. -anon

My daughter doesn't get much attention at preschool

Last year we considered a number of preschools and got into our #1 choice. It is one of the more expensive ones but we thought it would be worth it because we were so excited about it, and thought our daughter would thrive there. Unfortunately, after about a month, we are really disappointed with the school and the teachers. Our daughter, who has lots of friends outside of preschool, doesn't have any friends in school, and the teachers don't seem to make an effort to facilitate friendships. She doesn't like to go to school because she says she is lonely there, and she is always playing by herself when we pick her up (and she is a very social kid so this is really not normal for her). Of the four teachers in the classroom with 20 students, only one of them says hello to her when she arrives or seems to pay any notice to her, and she isn't always there. The other teachers are arriving at the same time as the children so they are too busy setting themselves up to help the children settle in. One of the teachers seems to outright dislike my daughter, since she never interacts with her at all throughout the day. Basically my daughter just doesn't get much attention from either the teachers or the other students, and with the amount we are paying for her to go there this seems rather outrageous to me.

My questions are: (1) is this normal for a preschool or below- par for what we should expect? (2) If it's not up to reasonable standards, should we (a) pull her out and try to move her to another school (which would have its own problems because she would have to adjust all over again), or (b) complain to the head of the school (but then I'm afraid we'd be seen as whiners and our daughter might be treated worse rather than better)? BTW, my daughter is 3 years old and has been in a pre-school type setting before, but it was just 4 kids with one teacher, and she thrived there. -feeling so sad for my daughter

No, definately not normal. Our preschool really worked on everyone making friends and every single one of the teachers greeted my child very happily every single day.

(2) If it's not up to reasonable standards, should we (a) pull her out and try to move her to another school, or (b) complain to the head of the school?

Pull her out. The school and/or teachers are not going to change, even if you complain. Your daughter will be ''happy'' to readjust if she can start acting like her normal self again (outgoing). anon

2) I would do both: pull your child out AND talk to the head of the school. Tell the director exactly what is happening, which teacher or teachers are ignoring your child, and that even if the situation is fixed (teacher reprimanded or removed), you are leaving anyway as your daughter is not thriving there and it is not a good fit for her. Find another school where the teachers are more caring and attentive. It doesn't have to be the most expensive school. In the end, it's the teachers that make the biggest difference. Concerned parent

We attempted to improve things by talking to the director and head of school. And we stuck it out for several months until we finally moved him.

In hindsight, we should have moved him sooner. He developed a negative view of himself and it took almost a year to improve his self-esteem. We were devastated that he referred to himself as ''trouble'' when he was 3 years old. The teacher that did not like him took over the class and it was horrible after that. We were so upset that his first school experience was so negative.

I think you should bring your concerns to the director. Try to get the situation improved. You are totally justified to discuss your concerns with the director. If there is no improvement with 2 weeks, I would start looking for a new school. It was a mistake to let my son stay in a preschool where he was not adjusted, thriving, and happy for several months. I know its hard to find a new situation, but there are good schools with room. At this early age, feeling positive is very important. Wiser now

We were disappointed in our very expensive beautiful school. Like other parents attending we honestly believed because we paid top dollar we were doing the very best for our child. We overlooked important red flags and we had no where to go, everyone was full. Our child's class was large, over 21 kids. I would visit on my lunch to find kids crying/screaming and on occasion unsupervised in the play yard. Our child came home with scratch marks on his face and bite marks. We should have pulled him out right away. We continued to work with the two teachers who repeatedly told us there were no problems, all was well; all was developmentally normal at this age. ''Kids will be kids, they all bite, hit, scratch...'' I think you should listen to your gut instinct because we never did. Our child did not want to go to school and we ignored his screams because he's a spirited child. He developed low self esteem and we can't even mention the word SCHOOL.

I want you to know that it was a BIG MISTAKE to keep him in a school that did not care for him ie. make him feel happy and well adjusted. Every child, hey even adults like to feel appreciated and loved; part of a team/a positive daily experience. Talking to the teachers was useless in our case and the director was part of the class team. Everyone knew everything about all the kids/their quirks, personalities, etc. Everyone talked.

Six months later our child is well adjusted, working on his confidence, happy and loves school. We found teachers that simply care about kids and let none slip through the cracks. Just the other day I found one of the teachers hugging the children than squeezing our child in a warm loving hug and my heart broke for a moment. Engage with kids like this? Wow! Still kicking myself... First Time Parent/Newbie

Gregarious teacher is frightening my son

My son is 3 years 2 months and has been attending preschool 4 days a week for the past 9 months.

Earlier this week I was dropping him off at school. We walked into the classroom and there were 2 aids and a few kids in the room. One was a regular aid in my son's class and the other was an aid from a different room who was just covering until the head teacher got in.

This aid is excessively gregarious, overly-animated, always offering up high fives to the kids when they come into school. My son (who is otherwise very outgoing himself) seems to avoid this aid whenever possible. When the aid tries to give him a high five my son pulls away and hides behind me.

When we walked into the classrom this aide came over, said hi and patted my son on the head. My son proceeded to yell no! and run into the bathroom. I followed him in there and asked him what was wrong and he said ''I don't want him to touch me! I don't want him to touch me!''. I asked him why and he said ''because i don't want him to touch me''

He was very clingy / crying when I left him that morning which is fairly atypical. As I drove to work thinking about my son's words and reaction to a completely benign interaction with the aid I started to panic and wonder if something inappropriate had transpired, making my son afraid of this man.

I ended up coming back to his school to pick him up because I was so uncomfortable. I spoke to the director about my concerns (not accusations, just concerns). I also brought my son into his pediatrician's office to get a referral to an appropriate child psychologist to talk to him to try to ascertain whether or not something inappropriate had happened.

My son hasn't exhibited any behavioral changes and seems happy to go to school each morning.

Am I over-reacting? Could this be just a dramatic 3 year old who has personal space issues and is overwhelmed by this guy's enthusiasm and energy? Or could it be something much worse? I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to make accusations, but my first responsibility is to protect my child. I don't even know if I should ever bring him back to school! concerned mama

You didn't mention what the director of the school said, but I hope he/she took you seriously and talked to this teacher about your son's concern. I think it's okay to have it clear that your son does not like physical contact with this person.

I suggest also that you talk to a few other parents (again, in a casual way) to get their take. I know most schools don't like parents to 'gossip' among themselves, but if there's a serious issue, IMO it's good to communicate with others. Perhaps you and a few other parents can take turns volunteering in the class, etc.

Hopefully, it's nothing serious, and your son just doesn't like what you described as the 'excessively gregarious, overly- animated' behavior of this teacher.

On the contrary, it could be like what happened at my child's elementary school a few years back, a cautionary tale, sadly, where a few isolated parents complained discreetly to the school administrators about a student teacher whose behavior they found inappropriate at times. No serious action was taken by these administrators, and a few years later, when this--by now reportedly outstanding--teacher (teaching elsewhere) was arrested in an internet-assisted sting operation and accused of multiple molestations (he was later convicted), it came to light that one of my child's classmates was molested as well.

And I knew nothing of these parents' concern about the teacher at the time of their complaints to the school, and even allowed this student teacher to spend (a brief) time alone with my child. I know this kind of thing is not common, so it's good not to panic and go on a witch hunt, but it's also good to be cautious, follow through with your concerns, and communicate with others. anon

It's funny though because my younger son really enjoys all the aforementioned with this same teacher. Really I don't think there's anything inappropriate going on except this guy doesn't have the finesse or sophistication to observe children and then deceide an appropriate course. I think it's a matter of not having sensitive listening skills and obviously your son is fed up and really wants this guy to hear him that his limits are drawn in the sand. It takes fortitude for a preschooler to be so clear about his limits with an adult. This guy seems to be a one-trick pony. Maybe he should stick with bigger kids.

Do I think something bigger is occurring? After a decade working with this age group, mom of some of my own, I don't think so. My experience is that when abuse in one form or another is going on, the ways it comes out is far more subtle, physical or emotional signs that aren't about a child expressing themselves so succinctly with their words. Your child didn't like the man's hand on his head and neither would I. I appreciate your worries, your efforts to straighten it all out with the director but make sure you stop and appreciate the amazing part. Your son really seems to know himself and isn't afraid for the world to know. I'm not so sure my kids have that. And know that you are a great mama and trust your instincts. If you look inside yourself and see it's fear and not anxiety, it's always the right thing to get your child out. The hard part is figuring which it is. I wish you well. Annoyed By Sub

My brother-in-law is a world-class attorney prosecuting sexual crimes against children, and keeps reminding me that offenders are often those that seem the most trust-worthy, the friendliest, and have the most intimate level of access to small children.

As Gavin de Becker repeats often in his bood about keeping kids safe, ''Protecting the Gift'' (well worth reading): TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. I'd be shopping for another pre-school

I attended a coop preschool, and according to my mom, the director used me as an example of how some children have invisible spacial barriers and need to be approached in an especially sensitive manner. I definitely complained about people ''touching me'' but I wasn't talking about anything remotely abusive. If I had had a teacher like your son's at my preschool, I would have been totally traumatized, without anything sexual going on. Does your son usually need a bit of space and time to get comfortable? anon

Injury on the playground at school

I know that there was laready a big discussion about school playground injuries and who is responsible, but I have some more variables. What if a child fell from a playstructure and was slightly injured, enough to necessitate a trip to the ER? What if the teachers on duty admit that nobody was watching the play structure? What if school officials had been saying for months that the surface underneath the structure was not adequate (and this is corroborated by a playground inspector)? Luckily, my child was not seriously injured, but it cost us an ER visit and a few chiropractic visits to determine this. I'm not looking to make trouble for the school, but I also can't afford to pay all of these out-of-pocket expenses. Should I try to negotiate with the school to cover the medical costs? Really Poor

Daughter's long ponytail cut off by another child

Greetings,

My child has never had a haircut in her entire life, and yesterday her gorgeous, yellow-gold, below-the-waist ponytail was sliced off at her neck by another 3 or 4 yr old while at daycare. The child that cut my child's hair off also had enough time to give herself a haircut before the classroom supervisor discovered (in plain sight!) the girls. The scissors were available in an open bin as is classroom habit.

A month and a half ago another child snipped a chunk of hair off my daughter's head directly above her eyes while she was playing on the playground. No teacher saw or reported it, I was the one who discovered it and talked to supervisors, teachers, classroom attendents and parents and students trying to determine what happened. I was assured this would not happen again.

My daughter misses her hair very much, and I, I am embarrassed to report, am devestated by the lose of her long hair.

I understand I should focus on my gratitude that my child did not lose an eye or a limb! There are bigger, more important things to care about than vain hair length.

I'm not an expert, but I do notice that simply telling a 3 or four year old child to NOT to do something is not the best thing to do: one must REMOVE the dangerous item.

Any words of wisdom? What would you do? diana

I agree that you can't really enforce consequences for a 3 or 4 year old cutting someone's hair...they can however have very clear rules about when and how to use scissors. I don't like that scissors are readily available either. It seems to me the school should be aware that the scissor situation as it is now is not working. As you pointed out your child could have been seriously injured by those scissors (I cringe imagining a child poking your child in the eye by accident).

Personally, I would consider switching preschools. If you feel comfortable at the school then I would ask that scissors only be brought out for art projects or be kept in an area under constant supervision by an adult. I would also ask that they be replaced with duller scissors that don't have sharp blades.

I would take this as an opportunity to evaluate the school. Are you comfortable with the level of supervision of children? Did you feel they responded well to this problem and have instituted ways to ensure it doesn't reoccur?

I don't blame you for being upset about your daughter's beautiful hair. Hope it grows back soon! sympathetic mom

Don't feel bad about being devastated! Hair is an important part of self-identity, and what happened to your child is terrible. My daughter also has very long hair that took her years to grow, and if someone cut it off I would be furious. I am not a litigious person, but if I were I would definitely sue! Samson's mother :-)

As a former director of a program with older children, I would have been more than willing to respond in such a way, even if it was just to be certain that you knew I was taking your concern seriously. Paula C.

Then I would probably take her out of the school. The thing with unsupervised hair cutting really makes me scared. Unsupervised scissors are a scary thing! another mom

Wow. Sounds to me like your daycare has some real problems. I also have a three year old with long, beautiful, never-been- cut hair and if her hair got cut at preschool, I would be beside myself with anger.

I would have serious words with the teachers and management about the situation. The scissors would have to go and supervision dramatically increased or I would take my child somewhere else. I would also talk to the offending child's parents about what happened, so that this child can be made to understand that cutting hair is completely not acceptable behavior.

And don't apologize for your vanity about your child's hair. I think it is very reasonable to be upset for all the reasons above and just because you (and she) loved her hair. -Loves long hair, too