• Is Montessori school a good fit for bouncy 4-year-old?
• Switching to Montessori after a year at play-based school
• Montessori vs. Play-based Preschool
• Montessori and OCD?
• Montessori vs. Developmental Preschool
• What is Montessori?
• see also: Montessori School Recommendations

Is Montessori school a good fit for bouncy 4-year-old?

My 4 year old son is currently in a traditional school. He has problems at school in the last several weeks. He does relatively fine at home. Basically he doesnít listen well at school; the biggest issue is he doesn't want to take a nap at school, and cannot keep quiet and stay in his cot. The teacher literally said, when he didn't want to listen, they didn't know what to do with him.

Since the problem is not going to get solved there, we decided to move him to another school which doesn't require nap time for 4 year olds. It has been very stressful to get calls from the school almost every day; and hear all the negative comments from an afternoon teacher every day when I pick him up.

My son is a bounce-around boy, active, a typical kinesthetic learner, not afraid of authority. For a kid like him, do you think that a more structured environment will be better for him? There're openings in a Montessori school near where we live. Are Montessori schools more structured? Are they a better fit for a boy like my son?

I used to find this environment restrictive, until I realized how much happier the children (and parents) are when we are clear, loving and fair about setting our own boundaries, and learn how to set ''natural consequences'' for our actions. I think Montessori has been the best thing in the world for MY children. Good luck! Montessori Mom

Can your son listen to instructions in general? Does your family expect him to listen when an adult or another child addresses him? Montessori schools want children to be able to listen to direction and watch an adult or another child show how to work with a piece of material as a starting point for gaining ground in many areas that lead to more self reliance and sense of capability, and true capability on the part of the child. When the child can exercise enough control over his or her impulses to stop, listen, and watch for guidance, many wonderful things start to become possible for the child.

If your child is accustomed to being able to kind of ''run wild'', so to speak,and your parenting style is happy with this, then Montessori is probably not a good fit for either you or your child.

If, on the other hand, you want your child to be able to gain enough self control to begin establishing his skills in many areas, including community living, then Montessori may be just the thing for your family. You will be able and happy to support what the school is trying to do for your son, and the school will be happy supporting your parenting efforts.

In our enrollment process at my school we deliberately give families a chance to think about this sort of thing before enrolling, to make sure there is a good fit before we commit a space and the parent commits for a school year.

Having said all that, I believe that there may be some children who would need the absolutely most experienced and patient of Montessori teachers to be integrated into a Montessori classroom. The activity level of these children is so very high, and impulse control so low that it is a really big struggle for the teachers and for the child and the parents just to get to that level where the child can begin to exercize enough self control to not be a constant disruption in the classroom environment where children are used to respecting one another's space, materials, and feelings. Perhaps this scenario is not at all applicable to your child, but I thought I should throw in this consideration as well, if you are thinking about Montessori for your son.

I wish you well in considering preschool options for your son. And because I love Montessori education so much for what it does for children, I hope it turns out to be a good fit for your family. Mimi at Garden Gate

Switching to Montessori after a year at play-based school

I am enrolling my son in a play-based preschool in the fall, at 2 years old. The school has a fairly high ratio (24 children to 3 teachers), and when I visited the school I noticed that many of the children play for periods of time without teachers' supervision/guidance. I think this will be fine for my child, since he is very active and independent. But he is also quite bright and loves problem-solving and learning new things (at 21 months he knows around 700 words, knows all the letters by heart and can count to 10), so I am thinking he would also thrive in a Montessori environment. A Montessori is not really an option for this fall for many reasons - financially, I doubt there are openings now, and because I think he still needs some 'running around' time. So, I am thinking of keeping him in the play-based for one year, then switching to a Montessori when he is 3, for the two years before he goes to Kindergarden at 5 years old. Any comments on if this is a good idea - i.e. the transition from play- based to Montessori, two preschools in three years, changing friends and teachers, etc. Also, any comments on the benefits of play-based vs. Montessori, and the differences, are greatly appreciated! still wavering

Montessori vs. Play-based Preschool

Hi-I am wondering whether I could get some advice from parents who have experience with both play-based preschools and Montessori schools. My son will be 2 1/2 next fall, and I am having a hard time deciding between the two types of school philosophies. The Montessori schools seem to teach kids great practical skills but seem somewhat stiff and the kids don't look like they are having all that much fun, but the play-based schools don't seem to teach as much about the practical world and the hands-on stuff that I find to be useful, yet the kids seem to be free to be just that--kids. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have very minimal experience with observing either type of preschool, so my above critique is based on what little I know. Thanks! - confused parent

I am debating between montessori preschool (pretty strict montessori) and play base for my almost 3 years old son. I see both good and bad in both philosophies. At the montessori school, I see how my son could be learning sense of responsiblity and be advanced in academic part by the time he goes to kindergarden. He will also enjoy the calmness of it. He will enjoy mastering many projects. On the other hand, he will miss the introduction to new art projects (because at montessori, they can do art if they want to but it is not encourage like play base school), simple music and dancing, and being just a kid and have fun. I have been thinking this through over and over. I know that it all comes down to what would fit his personality and temerpaments. I also know that there is no ''perfect'' preschool. But it is such a difficult decision to make. So, I wonder if I can hear other parents' input on this subject. Thank you. confused mom

I am not sure how old your child is but one positive aspect of Montessori is the mixed age group. My son is the youngest and in the short time he has been there, we have seen tremendous changes in his independence and ''willingness'' to do things on his own (practical life skills). However, he has always had a strong will so I think the environment with the older kids just encouraged him a bit more. I think it also depends on the school and class room environment-I found that although my son's school seems more like an ''institution'' than a home based pre- school, his teachers have been tremendously nurturing and supportive of his needs as a 3 year old to play, or be in a group setting, etc. My son loves art and music so he naturally gravitate to the circle time participation and other ''enrichment'' activities in the classroom on his own. On the other hand, he is also very social so working independently has been a bit of a challenge for him but it is also his young age. He receives a lot support to get redirected to work on his own and apparently once he gets the introduction to the ''work'' he becomes very engaged and enjoys it. Also, before he started he was already pretty interested in numbers, ABC's etc so even and since starting the program, he seems to be a bit more directed about learning sounds, counting, etc but personally that might just be him. On the other hand, all of Montessori ''work'' is sequential so I am also certain that some of the things he is exposed to are also attributing to the heightened awareness without going over board.

I think my son gets plenty of kid ''play'' time at home but it was a bit of a change for us to see him do ''work'' (as they call it) seeing that he LOVED playing all day long at home with his nanny share prior to starting school. I think it is children's nature to want to follow a group at a young age, but eventually I think they do grow out of that and ''some'' prefer to make their own choices...our opinion is that that is how the world works and we feel that the Montessori environment really fosters that.

I would suggest you speak about your concerns with the teachers and director about your concerns to a get their opinion play based vs. the independent work. I think it is more important to base your decision on the support and nurturing your child will be receiving (as well as yourself as a parent!) in his classroom- regardless if it is Montessori or play-based. Please email me directly if you have any other questions suags

If you have two specific schools in mind, one that is Montessori and the other play-based, and you like them both about equally overall, bring your son for trial visits at each. See which one HE likes better! Or choose on the basis of which offers a more convenient schedule or location for you, or which one costs less. Remember that if you make a choice and then later feel that it was a mistake, it is not THAT hard to switch schools! It's Only Preschool

Only recently did the term ''play based'' become a popular term to be used by preschools where most learning is supposed to be accomplished through play. It seems that non-Montessori schools have begun to differentiate themselves both from Montessori and from sturctured academic preschool programs through this terminology. But I am concerned that this differentiation is contributing to some ironic misconceptions about Montessori education as being some things that it is not and not being some things that it is.

By contrasting Montessori with ''play based'' education, one would get the impression that Montessori, itself, is not play based. Surprisingly, if truth be known, the Montessori method of education is, in itself, 100% play based. There is absolutely no differentiation between the play that a child does to pour water from one pitcher to another, improvise music with tone bells, or paint a water color, and the play that a child does to learn how to make words from letters or carry out multiplication on a bead board. It is just that in Montessori schools we call this the work of the child. It is all the child's self chosen work to develop through interaction with the environment,the hands-on, natural way of learning that is the hallmark of early childhood.

The child's work of becoming a social human being also develops naturally through the children's spontaneous interactions with one another within this environment. Children work both alone and with other children depending upon their own wishes at a given moment, so when they enter into an interaction with another child, they feel in control of the situation because they have chosen it. An emphasis is placed on learning how to work respectfully together, to work out problems together, and how to be a kind and thoughtful member of the little community.

In preschools that identify themselves as ''play based'', the orientation is that children need to play and socialize their way through preschool with the traditional preschool materials such as blocks,puzzles,dolls, etc.and that they are learning through these experiences. But then there is a differentiation between this happy and self chosen play and what is considered to be the more serious academic and academic preparedness work that begins closer to the kindergarten year, with at first, perhaps a smattering of structured ''academic work'' at pre- determined group times, and later pehaps more academic work at sit down group times that are very different from the child's other ''play based'' times. In contrast, the Montessori conception of play as the child's spontaneous, natural form of working toward self development permeates all of the opportunities offered, including the academic work. This represents an underlying difference from popular ideas about what makes children happy and fulfilled and how young children learn best. In Montessori schools all learning blends together as the child's playful response to a rich and inviting environment.

People sometimes enter a Montessori school and do not understand why it is so quiet, or why the children seem so serious while they are ''working.'' It is the child's concentration on a chosen task that tells us that she or he has found something truly satsifying to the child. Yet many people still hold the idea that if children are not running about, creating chaos, and being loudly gregarious, they are not ''being kids''. In Montessori schools ''being a kid'' means finding what you need to develop into a whole and fulfilled individual within a community of other people. This is not just a preparation for the next step in life, but a means to wholeness. Montessori children are centered, happy, confident little people who have learned how to contribute meaningfully to their community as well as to follow their individual and unique impetus toward learning and expression.

You mention that your child would miss out on art work in a Montessori school because it is there but not encouraged. But It is the environment that is carefully designed to encourage the child and respond to his needs. This is what gives the child a chance to be more self determining and self discovering. Art work in a good Montessori school is in many places throughout the school. It is in the ''Sensorial'' area where children find beautiful,inviting materials through which to refine their senses and appreciation regarding texture, color, shape,and sound, and even refining their discrimination of taste and smell. It is in the water color work set up on a beautiful tray with a good brush and good paints and a little jar of water. It is in the many other art materials set out for children to explore and use with both respect and self expression.

In a good Montessori school, this little water color ''work'', like all other ''work'' is a delightful, child oriented temptation sitting on a shelf, waiting for an eager little artist to choose it, carry it to a table, use with it joy and respect, and then restore to it's original cleanliness and order, and return to the shelf. It is not an adult supervised ''art time'' experience or a station where children can perhaps volunteer to go for a limited time under the watchful supervision of an adult. And, as with all learning materials, the art materials are an ever evolving part of the prepared environment. The teacher is a guide who watches to see what her individual students are ready for, prepares these inviting tasks, presents how to handle them to the children, and then observes to see how the children use them, varying them as needed, and providing suggestions and guidance, but never forcing, because the child's inner motivation for learning is the strongest and most effective pathway to a child's further development.

Some people worry about there being less fantasy play in the Montessori school. Fantasy play is less emphasized in half day programs than in ''play based'' preschools, because children have so much fantasy play in their home environments, and we feel that school is an opportunity to develop in ways that may not be so available at home. However full day programs where children are not going home for the afternoon have lots of fantasy and open ended activities in the afternoon portion of their programs, and even most morning programs have opportunities for fantasy play built into some aspects of the program.

Are children able to be ''just children'' in a Montessori environment? You bet they are, but we see children as young people trying to evolve toward their full human potential. Yes there is a structure to the environment,which serves as a framework that gives the child the opportunity to function independently. This independence brings the child the ability to act more freely to learn, develop, and discover his/her interests and creativity than would be otherwise possible.

I realize that this is a really long post, but Montessori is a complex way of working with children with a deep and broad philosophical base designed to meet the real needs of children. To the casual observer it may appear to be something it is not, and to not be something that it is. I thank you for the opportunity to try to clarify some common misconceptions about this really fabulous and holistic way of approaching the education of our young people. Mimi

Here are my main criticisms of Montessori for preschool:

1. It does not teach kids the main thing they need to learn at this age which is how to play with others and get along socially. Every activity was either individual ''jobs'', whole group instruction, or completely unorganized play outside. There was no opportunity to get to know other kids and learn how to play with them. (Just because kids are all climbing on the same structure or going down the slide doesn't mean they are actually playing together.)

2. It does not encourage or even really allow for kids to use their imaginations, which is a real shame to deny this for 3-5 year olds.

3. It sets up a false dichotomy (to me) between ''work'' and ''play''. Especially at this age, learning should be fun.

I think Montessori is probably a great method for a certain small percentage of children. It is both mystifying and dismaying to me that it is so prevalent among educated middle class families to the point that it seems to be the only option available in certain areas (such as Alameda). Why are such parents so concerned about the academic achievement of their preschoolers? Do kids really need to know how to read before they start kindergarten? (BTW, a few months after we put her in a play-based daycare our daughter was back to her delightful self, and now she is really enjoying and doing well in kindergarten.) --obviously not a Montessori fan

Montessori and OCD?

I am considering a Montessori preschool for my daughter and am interested in hearing from parents of former or current Montessori kids or others with knowledge. I really like much of the philosophy but wonder if the emphasis on order and cleanliness is actually an overemphasis which could lead to problems later on. Has there been any research in this area? Any advice appreciated.
Signed, Mom with enough obsessive tendencies for the whole family.

Montessori vs. Developmental Preschool

My almost 4-year old daughter is currently attending a developmental preschool. We are hoping to send her to a Catholic school once she enters Kindergarten. Should we keep her in the program she is currently attending or would a Montessori environment prepare her more for the challenges of Kindergarten? Any feedback would be wonderful! Thanks... Cheryl

What is Montessori?

I have found that the Montessori schools vary dramatically and whether they are good for your child really depends on the personality of the child and the school. When I first looked at a Montessori in San Francisco, I found it very rigid. I was uncomfortable there and my then 2 year old son seemed out of place when we went to check it out. He needed more flexibility and fewer rules. He had a strong sense of self esteem and was very social. The next time I looked into Montessori, it was at a different location and for a different child. This time it was a wonderful fit. Due to numerous changes when my second son was 2 (we moved, lost our regular care giver, changed jobs), he had lost some self esteem and was not very social. The Montessori he now attends, has more flexibility, is wide open and has encouraged his learning and exploration. In the last year he has blossomed, regained his self confidence and lost most of his shyness. So even though the Montessoris follow the same philosophy--how that philosophy is implemented will depend a lot on the director and the teachers. The surroundings vary too and make a big difference. In all Montessoris, everything has a place in which it belongs and the child is expected to return his or her "work" to the appropriate space. In SF the room was divided by child high space dividers into small and relatively dark work areas. The director became annoyed when my 2 year old--there just for a visit--picked something out and moved it from one area to another. In the Montessori we are now in (in Marin), the room is large--brightly lit--and everything is placed along the walls. It is a more welcoming feeling and gives the children a whole room to explore and move around. So you need to check out the specific school and if possible talk to other parents whose children are there. Good luck.

I was a Montessori kid myself and have my 3 year old in a Montessori school (Cedar Creek Montessori), and I think the Montessori method is wonderful. However, any school can call itself Montessori and have nothing to do with the Montessori method. I've been looking at Montessori schools on the Peninsula because we are moving there this summer and there are a lot of terrible ones! But I was very impressed with the Discovery Children's House (650-856-1760) Montessori school, which is in Palo Alto (and also in San Carlos); I also liked Montessori Community School in Redwood City. In general, AMS certified schools seem to be better. What I like about Montessori--they teach children to respect other people, they teach children to be self-motivated (the child is the one who picks what he/she will work on) and disciplined, they have an environment that is interesting to kids and helps them learn about the world in a concrete way, and they want to reach out to the community to interact positively and promote respect and peace. I also like that they have mixed ages, where older kids can act as teachers and mentors for the younger ones. What I look for are teachers and directors of schools that treat the children (and each other) in a respectful way--a Montessori teacher doesn't raise her/his voice, but uses positive disciplining measures. I also look for a warm environment where the children are engaged but having fun, where the teachers obviously care a lot for the kids. Yes, these schools are expensive, but child development research has shown that the biggest differences in a child's education come in the first 6 years of life. Better to spend that money now when it can so positively impact the way the child will learn for the rest of their lives. There is a good web site, http://www.montessoriconnections.com/, for finding Montessori schools. The Montessori method is not for every child, but I think it is worth visiting a good Montessori school and observing the kids and how much they enjoy the work they are doing, and also seeing how your child interacts with the environment. Then you can see if it is right for you.

Yes, yes, yes on Montessori, but you have to check out the individual program. There are different approaches within the method, some being more "rigid" than others. One advantage to Montessori is that all the teachers are fully trained in a two-year (?) program. My son was in a developmental (play=learning philosophy) and didn't prosper. He needed more structure, which Montessori gave him. He likes to know what's expected, and he loves to learn. And learn he did, all in a pleasant, progressive way with lots of manipulatives. The kids are the center of things in Montessori, and the teachers address the whole child, teaching manners, caring, self-reliance (fixing their own simple snacks), math, clean-up, cooking, gardening, science, and pre-reading. The kids go at their own paces and are never made to feel they are "behind." The materials are specialized for teaching kids of the relevant ages, and I liked the fact that they "extend" to keep teaching to kids once they have the basic principle down. Also, kids teach and help other kids, thereby reinforcing their learning. My son is gifted and was able to find challenges all the way thru his time at Montessori. Despite all the learning, there is also a lot of creativity and unstructured play-time. At first I was put off by the fact that the kids lined up to go inside, had to work on small mats, etc. But then I realized my son really liked and needed structure to his day.