What do parents of gifted children do?!

If you have a child that you know is gifted (whether tested or not), what do you do about school? If your child is reading significantly above grade level, math above grade level, clearly working above grade level in most or all areas of a classroom, what do you do, particularly if both through your own observation, teacher opinion and your child’s opinion, your child is spending 2 -3 hours a day waiting for other children to catch up?

How do other families with Gifted Kids deal with watching the motivation for additional learning diminish because they are not being challenged in the classroom (first grade) and there are no pull-out programs or even district testing for this age/grade in Oakland? While we can make our daughter's home life stimulating, fun, age-appropriate, thinking-appropriate and activity- appropriate, what do we do about the summer and school year? We have enrichment activities for our 7 year old daughter, languages, music, art, drama, etc. Also, how does your child choose friends? Are they intellectual peers, or age peers, or both?

I've been scolded on BPN by families who say just let your kid be a kid. What do you say to people when they say treat them as a kid first, and then deal with the giftedness, when you know that your child THINKS differently? Would the same thing be said to a parent of a severely developmental delayed child, just treat them as you would any other child, then deal with the learning disability?

I thought having a intellectually gifted child would be a gift and she would be easier to raise because she could reason and speak early and often, and my daughter is a gift, but this is harder than I though it would ever be even after I've read everything I can get my hands on. Please help! Mom of a terrific (and gifted) 7 year old

As a sort of compromise solution I was able to get him to go to math with a higher grade class for one year, but even that had its limits. He now misses one morning a week to be with a math enrichment teacher who can move him along as quickly as he wants to go. It is not a perfect solution, and does not address his frustration with the rest of the school week but at least now he gets really excited about and looks forward to his one morning per week.

We are hoping that middle school and high school will allow him to take more advanced classes, and until then are relying on sports, books and outside activities to soak up his energy and attention. --Waiting it out

However, we really, really, think a gifted child takes his/her cues about attitudes about school from you. My daughter didn't come home and say, ''I'm bored.'' I think it's very easy to pass message on to your kid that reinforce their beliefs in their own superiority. Knowing how to read or being excellent in math, doesn't mean that the child has nothing to learn. We found in particular, that our daughter needed to gain social skills, as well as have more physical experiences, because she spent so much time sitting and reading.

The fact is, that learning phonics in kindergarten and first grade-- even though she was well past this-- allowed her to become a much more proficient (and prolific) writer. It also taught her to spell, which was very useful, since she had learned to read holistically on her own.

The other fact is... and I know you don't want to hear this either... is that lots of other kids have the same skills as your child. They really do. And they really learn to negotiate their own way through school, without their parents' guiding every step of the way. Give her this gift. Yes, continue enrichment outside of school, and for goodness sakes, talk with the teacher about trying to meet her individual needs within the classroom setting. Nobody-- NOBODY has ever held my daughter back academically. She still gets her tip-top test scores and still and achieves academically at the highest level.

She wants to say, ''If your child can read exceptionally well, give her/him more books. Many kids learn to read, just not to read enthusiastically. I got lots of books when I was young, and the library has been my almost favorite place on earth since. I just don't remember being all that bored in school. Now, I help out other students in math/reading when they don't get stuff. There's nothing boring about that.''

We aren't suggesting that you ignore her needs, but just that you understand that there's a whole world of skills to learn beyond reading and multiplication tables. Good luck. - we've been there

I'm coming from the standpoint of having gone through this myself. When I was in 1st grade, the schools tested me and identified me as gifted, and put me in what was then known as GATE (gifted and talented education). After a year in that, (which helped) I skipped a grade and went from 2nd to 4th. The initial social impact was HARD, I was lonely and had a tough time relating to 4th graders. But academically, I was fine. Fortunatley, by 5th grade I made one friend (and that's really all you need at first). By 6th grade, things were pretty normal. I stayed in gifted classes throughout and got out of HS at 17.

It sounds like this type of identification process is missing in your school district so that's why, if you really feel your child is not reaching potential, you need to take it up yourself. Are there other high achievers in your daughters class? There must be. As a starting point, perhaps you could tap those parents and as a group request some supplemental, accelerated learning. The school may be more receptive listening to a group of parents. Then see what progress you note and take it from there.

If you do have you daughter skip a grade, be prepared for the downside while she catches up socially. Best of luck another parent

My son is similar age and I am so worried about his losing interest and curiosity about learning. He has tended to gravitate to the other ''smart'' kids in his class as well as to the ones with similar interests. He is young in the class (and skipped a grade) so it has been good for him to be challenged with older kids, but I worry about this too.

From what I hear, the Berkeley GATE program is underfunded and minimal, since the focus is on bringing kids below standard up. This is admirable, but seems like if the advanced kids had opportunities to move ahead this might also help bring test scores up. It would be great to have more after school enrichment programs for all kids, whether ''gifted'' or not. Kids are sponges and given the opportunity to learn about all kinds of things will. There are just so many more kids who need help getting up to grade level that the advanced kids who aren't trouble-makers don't get anything to help challenge them unless they have a teacher who can provide a bit extra.

One argument I've heard against GATE programs is that they tend to benefit wealthy white kids. I read something refuting that which made sense to me that basically said not having access to a GATE program can hurt kids without means more than well-off because their families are less likely to have the money for all the after school enrichment, camps etc that middle class+ can afford. Interesting food for thought.

I did see a notice here a few weeks ago about the formation of a k-12 gifted school in Oakland and I'll be curious to see how that evolves. Alas, no answers

One quick way to do this is to google Oakland Charter Schools and find a list. Then separately google each school's name and find their website and check out their philosophies, curriculum, etc. See if you find something that makes sense for your daughter. I'm sure you will.

And don't worry about the other parents. People are often sensitive to the latest ''hyper-parenting'' approach to parenting and perhaps questions regarding a gifted child SOUNDS like those coming from that approach. If you are letting your daughter lead the way and she just has different needs, then just let the other parents be. You know your daughter best. Jenny

My advice would be to look into alternative schools for you daughter. Montessori allows a child to do their own work but still be in a context of a class with kids their own age. I've also heard that a charter school in Oakland for Gifted Children might open in a year or so. I'm going the private route with my child who has been reading for two years. My hope is that it will be easier to advocate for her but who knows. I do know that my own experience left me feeling taht my success in school was my greatest strength. It took me much turmoil to realize that life -- and happiness in life -- is more complex than academic skills. I think that there is great value in making sure you daughter isn't bored -- but make sure she isn't doing it just to get your praise. And that is probably the most difficult thing to navigate. anon

While my D is very bright & has had tremendous academic success, the primary difference between my D & most kids is not her intellect, it's her self- discipline & drive. She has always pushed herself to do her best even when it's uninteresting or difficult. School cannot make everything stimulating & fun. There is so much in school that isn't very interesting but is absolutely essential information to learn (ie. punctuation, basic spelling, grammer). For your D to excel, she needs to learn to apply herself even when it's boring. She needs to learn self-discipline & to push herself to be her best, always. That's what will pay off for her. Don't focus on what the school is offering or not offering.

Finding good friends can be challenging for any kid. Both my kids have been able to find plenty of friends their age that are their equals. Your D will too. anonymous

I can't tell you how many parents tell me their child is ''gifted'', as a way to excuse the kid's lack of effort or motivation ....as if some designation given in the third grade had any real bearing on someone's ability to learn and grow... I've also had tons of wonderful kids go through my doors, excited to learn and engaged in the world of ideas every day, kids who soak up everything, who learn from the mundane as well as the inspired, and often ''learn'' lessons teachers had no idea they were teaching.

These are just my observations... I don't know what the messages are that you are sending your child, but above all, remember that ultimately you want to raise a thoughtful, interesting, kind person who can function effectively in the world, right? Don't lose sight of that goal.

I also say this from the perspective of a parent of two gifted children ( who are now in middle school in this affluent suburb and have always functioned grade levels ahead). Yes, I do think they are extraordinary. I should think that; after all, I'm their mother. But I also understand that I need to allow them the opportunity to NOT be extraordinary, but just be anonymous ( ''normal?'' one of the crowd?), from time to time. Keep the big picture in mind.... - Just my two cents

This is what I've learned to look for to keep my child's whole being happy:

*Classrooms where the children are engaged. In an attempt to make my son's extracurricular life simpler, I observed classes at another school and was surprised at the difference. Kids were not fully engaged -- it was a nice school and the kids were nice, but I could see my son being bored and restless.

*Teachers who understand that a child who is a 'fluent reader' may also be equally competent at comprehending the material they're reading.

*Teachers who understand the emotional need such a child has for complex and challenging material *and* are willing to help that child find the information they need to satisfy their brain.

*Teachers who do not press boring, previously absorbed material on to such children. My son never finishes his language work. We know his spelling/reading/verbal levels are somewhere between 7th & 12th grade, so it's not pushed on him. If he were to self-motivate in that area, he could whiz though and move on, but he chooses not to, and since it's not a place he has challenges, the teachers are relaxed about it. He can help someone else with his extra time.

*Teachers who look to place children where they have someone they can bond with (similar interests). My son's teacher asked me who I thought would be a good friend for next year (as he changes classrooms), and we were delighted to find we were thinking of the same child. It's amazing, and what's best is they're learning appreciation for the children who are not bright in the same way. In short, teachers who understand every child has gifts and challenges and help each child learn where they need concentrate their efforts and how to utilize their strengths. I really love the fact that at BMS the administration and faculty are happily implementing this strategy. We've found our solution. Happy Berkeley Montessori Parent

Yes, you should try to balance the level of challenge for your child with her emotional needs. I think she should definitely remain with her peers. If you can find a more challenging curriculum within your budget, go for it. If you must stick with the current school, then do exactly what you're doing - allow her the experience with school (which builds other important parts of her personality as well) and then be her 2nd teacher at home. Discover what really interests her (for me it was music and drama), and give her opportunities to explore those things as well.

Yes, in a group setting, she won't be challenged and without your heavy involvement, she will learn to be very lazy with study skills, which will catch up to her later when subjects become challenging. It's amazing how many gifted children get poor marks as they age - they naturally learn to rely on their gift and don't adequately build academic skills.

You don't need to fill her every minute - in fact, she may thrive on some downtime to allow her to process all her thoughts. Perhaps you will require additional homework of her. Or work with her teachers, requesting plenty of extra credit or bonus things to work on. Be her advocate, and be willing to do most of the work finding her appropriate learning opportunities.

One thing that was fun for me (in elementary school) was mentoring struggling students. They set aside time for me to help others during one class period per day and I enjoyed it. anon

It is true that every child needs a challenge, but there are lots of realms for challenges beyond basic academics. His teachers have been great at appreciating his strengths and trying to build on those, but more important, looking at the areas where he needs work and encouraging him to focus there. For my son it is things like: taking turns, listening to others and valuing what they say, keeping his temper, fine motor control, etc. where he needs work. I also value what he learns at public school by making friends with kids from different backgrounds. These things he needs work on are important life skills, and my guess is most children have areas (that may not be strictly academic) where they can challenge themselves in a school setting. He's already great at academics - for him to be well rounded other areas need more attention.

Another thought: homeschooling vs traditional schooling doesn't have to be all or nothing. Our son went to preschool 3 days a week before starting public school, and I realized that without intending to, the two days he was home with us were really ''homeschooling''(in a preschool-appropriate sense), and that is part of why some of his academics are so advanced. He had lots of time to read, to explore, to talk about what interested him. When he started school we decided that if/when the academics of the classroom fail to stimulate him, we'll try to have after school time be for ''homeschooling'' again - supplementing in areas of interest. Right now he's still finding plenty to sink his teeth into in the regular program and aftercare, but when that time comes I think he'll get the best of both worlds again: parental attention and individualized study after school, and all those social areas that are so important at school. - hoping for a kid who knows more than math/reading!

My daughter has had a great time in first grade. She has learned a great deal and an equal amount of learning had NOTHING to do with reading, math, writing, social studies, etc. It had to do with social skills and different cultures, values held by her and others, how to use chop sticks, write in Chinese, speak Arabic, Spanish and German. She learned how to work as a team, help children in her class, write a five paragraph essay. Now she's looking forward to the summer, where she takes time off from all the structured learning to play with the neighborhood kids in the sprinkler (something she wrote an essay about), learn to play basketball and just hang out with other kids, older and younger.

BPN is a great forum for discussion, for getting real advice from real people even when you have temporarily blown things way out of proportion. Is my daughter gifted? Yes, I believe so. Has she been tested? No she has not. Does she enjoy school? Yes, most of the time, at least until April of every year. And yes, I need to supplement outside school and learning is about the bigger picture. Last summer it was riding a two wheel bike and using it for independence, learning to use Heelys and getting her ears pierced. Who knows about this summer?

Thank you to those who wrote, I feel fortunate to have access to a great Oakland public school and a teacher who teaches the required curriculum plus two levels up and a level down and who understands that seat-work for first grade doesn't work well, and real life assignments do. Grateful Mom

18-month-old knows the alphabet - Hyperlexia?

I have an 18-month-old who knows her alphabet. She can recite it and idetify all the letters, both upper and lowercase. She also knows the phonics of them. She can count up to 20 and recognizes numbers up to 10. She is a wiz at puzzles and she LOVES to read and have me read to her. Books are her favorite thing. At the same time she enjoys the story times and play groups I take her to. She goes right up front to listen to the storys, if they keep her attention. When they sing songs she dances and does all the actions. She pops bubbles, steals kids toys and is a very normal, happy, social toddler.

I got worried when a mom who saw my daughter pointing at numbers and saying what they are, told me that my daughter could have Hyperlexia. I looked it up on the internet and it said the early warning signs are extremem fascination with numbers and letters and knowing the alphabet and reading at an abormaly young age. It said that at 18 months, children with hyperlexia start to demonstrate anti-social behavior and have trouble putting words together. They said that even if they have a large vocabulary, they have just memorized the words and don't understand how to make a sentence out of them. It is a mild form of autism.

So my husband and I are scared, but at the same time she is already starting to put sentences together. She says ''yummy green beans,'' and says bye bye to people when they leave. She bables in the car and tries to sing to her Barney CD. So I don't know what to think. Is she gifted? Does she just have a really good memory and is like every other kid, or does she have some weird autism. My dr. said he had never heard of hyperlexia and I had to tell him to look it up on the internet. This is all quite confusing. Her fast learning went from something we were proud of to something we are scared of. Shena.

Many people assumed (because I'm a teacher) that I taught him to read and write but I didn't.I just supported his interests. My advice to you is to relax and enjoy your daughter and this exciting stage. Encourage and support her interest in letters and numbers, but don't feel like you have to supplement or sign her up for classes. Don't pressure her to practice or make her ''perform'' for others; she will do just fine learning what she needs on her own.

My son is in Kindergarten and he is the only reader in the class. They are busy with alphabet activities at the moment and it doesn't concern me a bit. He loves learning so much that he will find many ways to challenge his brain throughout his many years at school. Don't worry. Your daughter will be fine. Anon

My oldest daughter was speaking in long, complicated sentences at 18 months, knew her letters and numbers, and is an intelligent, normal child. Not gifted. One only needs to hear her practice her violin to hear how limited her gifts are. And as for those who worry that their gifted children's lives are not enriched enough - full with sufficient stimulation, I think the best gift you can give a gifted child is boredom. Let them be bored. Let them work to fill those hours creatively. Let them read and play and learn to use their imaginations. Long days full of planned and structured activities -- Score and Kuman, etc. -- might make your kids ERB results go up, they might satisfy you that your child is as gifted as you want him to be, but in the end they won't teach your child to make use of her ''gifts'' in any meaningful way.

But, then, I'm really just the parent of a bunch of average kids. So take what I say with a few grains of salt. Ayelet

As for being autistic, I highly doubt it. If you want to help things to be extra sure, help her to make sure she understands words she is saying, which it sounds like she does. And the fact that she babbles is a positive sign that she still has a little babyish part of he so she can fullydefelop those cruial skills little ones need to learn. Edmund

18-month-old seems advanced for her age

Our 18-month-old seems quite advanced for his age and we are wondering if he is a "gifted" child. Has anyone on this list had this kind of experience? How early can one spot the signs of giftedness? Is it helpful or is it counterproductive to think of one's child as different in this way? Any recommendations for local schools, programs, or support groups for such children and their families?

As for the grandiosity caveat: Parents who get too caught up in the greatness of their children often do so at the child's expense, pushing them into academic classes that the child may be intellectually ready for but not socially or emotionally. You set your child up for tremendous disappointment if you make his precociousness a way of seeing himself as smarter than others around him. I remember the panic of a 7th grader in my geometry class as he realized that the subject was going to be hard for him and he would have to learn along with his classmates. He felt lost not being the "smartest" in the class and started having psychosomatic symptoms that led him to withdraw. I have heard similar stories of high school valedictorians dropping out of MIT or Stanford because they so depend on being the smartest. Remember, precociousness is just one way of being smart. Other children whose development looks more average may possess gifts that your child can learn from and appreciate.

In sum: You need to nurture your child intellectually and emotionally, advocate for his needs when he gets to school, and not make his talents the sum of his identity or your reason for loving him all the same time. Best of luck! -- Anonymous

Gifted testing for first grader

My son is 7 and finishing up the first grade. I'm very concerned that he is not challenged at school. Thankfully, he's not acting up and I'm not hearing from the teacher that he's bored, but I don't want him to keep thinking school is so easy and then get slammed in high school or college when he finally finds things challenging. So I'm thinking of having him tested as a first step toward getting some resources from our GATE folks. The info on the website is 8 yrs old. Have you had your young child tested lately? Do you have a tester to recommend? What did/does it cost? Thanks very much.

Now, I am not sure if all schools work like Joaquin Miller in Oakland, but there are no extra classes, field trips or specific educational activities for the kids who have been identified as gifted. No child regardless of outside testing will be considered ''gifted'' until 3rd grade and identified by the school district. Teachers are expected to differentiate the curriculum in the classroom. There are some teachers who do differentiation well and others who do not.

The differentiation difference is not more problems of the same type, but deeper ways of doing the same assignments. For example, one teacher has the kids in the class learning the three branches of government. The children identified as gifted put on a mock trial for a situation happening at the school. In earlier grades, children research a reptile or a ''big cat,'' a gifted kid could research the reptile or big cat and how Global Warming or cutting down the rainforest affects the population of animals.

It's a very frustrating situation because most people understand ''smart'' and think that gifted kids are just smarter than other kids. They do not understand that the WAY and DEPTH that gifted kids gather information is different from other people.

Mom of a Gifted (and smart) daughter

Public or Private for gifted kindergartener?

Our 4 yo old son will be starting kindergarten in about a year and we are trying to sort out what would be the best environment for him. He taught himself to read quite early and now reads fluently at about a second grade level (and understands as well); he seems generally academically precocious, but his reading skills are the most obvious. Socially and emotionally, he's quite age-appropriate. He is doing well now at a Montessori preschool which provides a mixed- age environment and allows kids to progress at their own rate, but we are not sure where to go from here. We had always hoped to send him to Berkeley public school, but are wondering whether he would be sufficiently challenged.Can anyone comment on this? Also, if we were to explore private school options, are there any which other parents out there feel do an especially good job with intellectually gifted kids? (the archives are a bit dated on these questions) Thanks. anon

Last year he did kindergarden at Malcolm X in Berkeley and it was a great experience for him - he learned a ton. Was he challenged academically all the time? Perhaps not, though his academic skills did advance significantly. He learned a ton about interacting and negotiating with children and adults of different ages, from different backgrounds and language groups, he worked on the areas he really needs to improve: listening to others, allowing others a chance to answer questions, emotional maturity, fine motor skills. He's like a sponge for knowledge and eagerly soaked up the rich offerings from the many adults who became part of his life (garden teacher, drama teacher, classroom teachers, etc). He's clearly not bored (I want to watch for this in the future though) and there's so much new to learn in terms of topics that he's challenged even though he already has the mechanics of reading and math under his belt. I feel like by being at a public school he's working on the areas that aren't already ahead, which will hopefully make him a more well rounded individual, instead of focussing on the areas where he is already ahead, which might help him excel even further in those areas but might overlook other important areas. That's why I feel public school is best - I may have to supplement with academics as time goes on to keep him challenged, but for me it's easier to supplement there at home than it would be for me to provide the rich environment school does in other areas. - Good luck!

It turned out that public school was the right place for her and I learned that children, even bright and gifted, develop their skills at different rates in different areas. My child was able to learn from children who were learning faster in math and to help children whose verbal and reading skills were developing a little more slowly.

I believe that most children's skills will all even out by about 3rd grade, and by 7th grade, there will appear many bright and gifted children in Gate and advanced public school classes. -- public kindergarten, good stuff

IEP for Gifted Child?

In some states, IEPs are written for gifted children as well as for children with disabilities. It doesn't seem to be standard practice in California, however. Has any of you done this, or investigated it, as a means of getting a more appropriate education for a gifted child. If so, what happened? What did you learn?
Parent of very bored, good kid

I haven't heard of these for students who are GATE though. Plus, I don't think that 504 or an IEP can really address your child's issue. If the teacher is boring, there isn't a whole lot that the plan for your child can do about it. The teacher would probably just give her extra work to do or tell her to bring a book to class and read once the regular class work is completed. (In the teacher's defence, if your child is in an average heterogeneous classroom here in the bay area, chances are there are 35 kids in the room and at least 4 of them are functionally illiterate, and one third to half the class is below grade level. Add to that kids with behavior problems, and then the regular work that goes into the job - preparing lessons from the text, creating new lessons, making photocopies, grading, decorating classrooms, organizing/cleaning a classroom, meeting with parents, involvement in extra curricular activities, etc. ... well kids who are smart and capable of doing the work and bored are probably not the highest priority. That is not to say that your child doesn't have needs that should be met, just that the demands on that teacher are overwhelming and so not every child's personal needs can be met.)

Has your child been tested and designated GATE? If so then the school is receiving money from the state to provide enrichment, and you should ask the school what that is. At some schools it is special feild trips, or books that can be checked out, or a classroom computer, at others it is a separate class. What ever it is, they need to provide services to the students for whom they receive funds. Usually there is a committee at the school that involves parents of GATE kids to determine how that money should be spent also, get involved in it so that it is being spent in a way that will benefit the kids most. a teacher

Playmates or support group for gifted 7-year-old

Does anyone know of any playgroups for highly gifted children in the Berkeley-Albany-El Cerrito area (although we are willing to travel farther if necessary)? The age group I'm looking for would be about 6-10 years old. Our child (7 yrs old) is feeling increasingly isolated and is desperate to play with peers. Anon

Also, here are some local contacts that we've found really helpful.

Annemarie Roeper founded a famous school for gifted children in Michigan, and then retired in El Cerrito. She is a wonderful source of information and help, especially if you have a gifted child in crisis. (We've been there!) Annemarie Roeper's website: http://www.roeperconsultation.com/

Excellent webpage with list of local resources for gifted children: http://www.armadillosoft.com/school/index.php?thePage=gtBay

Those are good places to start. Feel free to email me if you have more questions. Good luck finding help for your child. It can feel very lonely because giftedness is one of the most misunderstood special needs. sa_58

We were lucky to find some outstanding players of this game, and my son even attended some D and D conventions with the Masters. Once his need to meet this challenge was provided, he then became more tolerant of teaching other kids at lower skill levels.

Likewise, we also arranged for our son to have violin, piano, soccer, skiing, art, etc. groups, and sent him to an ungraded private Montessori school where the curriculum could challenge him. However, just because he was academically, athletically, and physically gifted, he was not gifted in all areas. He needed some work in skill sets such as tolerance, patience, diversity, etc.

Once, at about age 9, he put his fist into a classmate's mouth and broke off the kid's tooth and said ''you are stupid because you cannot read.'' This particular non-reader child is now a championship NFL football player. My son now feels privileged to have grown up with him. So, being ''gifted'' has many facets.

Kids can be gifted in a way your child is not. So, my advice is to find activities and friends who meet your child's interests, but also be sure your child has broad exposure to many types of kids who will be able to offer her/him something-- which you may not have figured out just what your child is or will get from these kids until later.

Also, the world is a complex and diverse place, and what better way to prepare for it than making sure your child gets broad experiences from an early age. Anon

Gifted kindergartener, can't afford private school

Hi my son just started kindergardten and loves it. many of his preschool friends are i his class and he enjoys the after care at the cedars room with them also/

we live close bye to the school and i too have many parents who are friends of longstanding. being a single parent there support has been invaluable for pick ups and drop offs when a crisis arises.

however i dont feel my son is learning much. until now i was quite complacent simply because i have enough problems without looking for more.

however over the weekend i spent 30 minutes teaching him to read and today he went to class and started writing sentences spelling correctly 4 letter words. i was amazed as was his teacher who told me what he did. he has the vocabulary of a 9 year old and is very analytical and articulate. thing is he is also a mischevious little kid who if left to his own devices would happily play all day.

should i move him to a private school, which means we would not be able to buy a home,but have to carry on renting or leave him where he is. is it possible to get him extra tuition where he is challenged at the weekend s?? am i being negligent? everyone i know tells me how bright he is, i just dont want to short change him. he makes friends easily and i dont think he will have problems adapting apart from initially. any advice? amber

Is my 2-year-old gifted?

My two year-old is gifted, I think. From 18 months old, he has been memorizing passages from books we read him and reciting them to us or himself all day long. Now he has moved to memorizing songs -- not easy ones, but "Morning Has Broken," "Do, A Deer," "Let's Go Fly a Kite," etc., and he gets them almost word-perfect. Then this week he started imitating James Cagney's tap-dancing routines in the movie about George M. Cohan, "Yankee Doodle Dandy." SO: am I just an over-eager mom, or is this kid out of the ordinary? How can I encourage that amazing memory and love of learning without making him self-conscious or learning a bore? I would appreciate specific resources as well as general advice. Francis

My son, (mathematically precocious) started Montessori at aged three (you can start them younger) and is now in second grade-- still Montessori-- and I could not be happier with how he is developing both intellectually and socially. Helene

Very young children show startling competencies and, also, major deficits. This is normal development because nobody progresses on all fronts at once. Whether or not you later find he is "gifted" is not as important as truly loving him for what he is right now.

If you are thinking of enrolling him in some kind of program, young children do very well in programs that allow long periods of free play with other children their age. Attempts to encourage academics at an early age tend, in the long run, to depress intellectual development. Louise

Assessing & channeling 3-year-old's gifts

I have an almost 3 year-old who is very intelligent and has been very verbal (also, very intense) since at least 18 mths old. In fact, from the age of about 18 mths, most people thought he was at least 3. He has the most astounding memory and is extremely observant. I don't know if he is gifted and am not as concerned about that as I am about channeling his skills into appropriate activities, classes etc. Of course, if he is not interested in any of the classes/activities, I'll stop - I just don't want to miss something to introduce to him that he could really enjoy. All that said, is there someone/some organization out there which does evaluation/assessment of skills or aptitudes? Right now, I don't have him in any classes and haven't for the last year but am looking to try something out. Any advice? Thanks. EA

* we let her persue all her interests that we could afford or tolerate. Violin, dance, after school art classes -she ate them up and asked for more.

* public school worked wonderfully for us. She was accellerated a grade, and took all the Honors and AP classes offered in middle and high school. It allowed us to afford all those other extras, and we never felt she was ignored or treated poorly. It also gave her a wonderful empathy and understanding of kids who were not like her.

* She is now a highly successful high school junior wth enough good friends to feel socially comfortable in a HUGE urban high school. She works hard and plays hard. Interestingly enough, she is seriously considering taking a year off after high school (after getting into a highly competitive college) so she won't be the sixteen-year-old college freshman.

I think she has been able to find balance with her abilities and intensities. It's important to look at the big picture - not just what their needs are now, or even what will happen when they are sixteen or twenty - but how they will find their way at every stage of their development. I know how freaked out I was when she was in pre-school and everyone was telling me how precocious she was or how I felt when her teachers wanted her moved up a year, but I love seeing her now as a normal kid, with some special skills but a very happy place in her world.

Hope this helps. her mom

Assessing a possibly gifted 3-year-old

My 3 year old attends several activities each week and many of her teachers have approached me, asking if she is gifted. I think she might be, but maybe she is just bright or a quick learner. We are on our 3rd preschool since last September, and haven't found anything that seems to fit her needs, so I am starting to think that gifted may indeed be the correct label.

SO... what do I do now? One of her teachers suggested getting her tested. What does that really get us, besides confidence in the gifted label? Does an official assessment get us anywhere with the school district when it is kindergarten registration time? I am already doing kindergarten-level work with her at home, so I can predict that she will be bored and unhappy, just as she is in preschool now.

We are going to try one more Montessori preschool, and I am going to continue to work with her at home until she is 5, but I need to have a plan in place for kindergarten time. Her pediatrician suggested homeschooling, but I'm not sure I'm up for that 24/7. Others have suggested private school, but I don't see how we can afford it. So I want to see what I can do with the public schools.

What exactly is involved in assessing a possibly gifted child? Is it a test? Or a meeting with a specialist? How much does it cost? If you have had your young child assessed, did you gain anything from it?

I've searched the archives and found some info on AnneMarie Roeper... she seems to be a true specialist AND she is local - is that where I should go now?

I'd appreciate any advice you can give! I'm stumped! not-so-gifted momma

In the meantime, offer lots of new experiences. Music lessons - piano and violin can be started at 4 and up, dance, art, museum, trips, and lots of books! I think it is important for bright kids not to be isolated, but to be around lots of differently abled kids who may have skills or abilities they don't. The hardest part of having a really bright kid was following your own heart about what to do for them. Sometimes you need to take other's advice with a grain of salt...mine included! her mom

With regard to preschool, have you tried something other than Montessori? It can be tough for some kids and their respective learning styles. I know that with my kind of ''giftedness'' (quick learner, highly verbal), it would have been a disaster. There are lots of ways to be gifted, and Montessori does work for some.

Check out this website for some good resources: http://www.cagifted.org/

Good luck! --gifted mom

Preschools for gifted 3-year-old

Can anyone recommend a preschool and/or elementary school for my 3 year old son, who was recently assessed by a child psychologist as having the cognitive level of a 7 year old? He is bright, but his social skills are skill those of a 3 year old. I do not want to put him in a classroom with much older children just to keep him stimulated. If anyone else has a similiar situation, I would really appreciate hearing what your experience has been and if you have found a school/program that your child is thriving in. I barely even know where to begin looking, so any advice would be a help bridget

My daughter will be five in January...so she will be the oldest in her class when she starts kindergarten. I am afraid she will be bored. She is already starting to read and can add numbers and write her letters. She is extermely verbal with a sophisticated vocabulary. While I don't see my daughter as a child prodigy, she seems to shows some signs of giftedness. Is this something that can be assessed at an early age? It's hard to be objective when looking at your own children. I don't want to push my daughter but I want to look out for her best interests so that she is sufficiently academically stimulated. Any advice?

Mathematically-gifted 8-year-old

I need advice about resources for mathematically gifted children. My son, age 8, lives and breathes math. At age 4, he could count to 120 by by 6's, convert feet to inches, and determined that my husband, then age 40-1/4, was "37 and 13 quarters." Last week, he calculated that "10 to the google seconds is 10 to the 86th millennia" (or something like that). My husband tells me that is roughly right; I confess it is a bit beyond me. My son is bored silly in school, and I am wondering: (1) what can I legitimately expect (demand?) of the public school district in the way of enrichment; and (2) what resources are there outside the school system for a kid like this? Thanks for any input.

Look at the following web site: http://www.gtworld.org/index.html. They have a mailing list which may be able to give you more details.

The state of California's Education Code is at the web site below. See Chapter 8. http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/.html/edc_table_of_contents.html Good luck.