Advice about Gifted Children
Berkeley Parents Network >
Advice >
School & Preschool >
Advice about Gifted Children
|
Gifted Toddlers & Preschoolers
|
Gifted Elementary Schoolers
|
Oct 2004
I have an 18-month-old who knows her alphabet. She can recite it and
idetify all the letters, both upper and lowercase. She also knows the
phonics of them. She can count up to 20 and recognizes numbers up to
10. She is a wiz at puzzles and she LOVES to read and have me read to
her. Books are her favorite thing.
At the same time she enjoys the story times and play groups I take her
to. She goes right up front to listen to the storys, if they keep her
attention. When they sing songs she dances and does all the actions.
She pops bubbles, steals kids toys and is a very normal, happy, social
toddler.
I got worried when a mom who saw my daughter pointing at numbers
and saying what they are, told me that my daughter could have
Hyperlexia. I looked it up on the internet and it said the early warning
signs are extremem fascination with numbers and letters and knowing
the alphabet and reading at an abormaly young age. It said that at 18
months, children with hyperlexia start to demonstrate anti-social
behavior and have trouble putting words together. They said that even if
they have a large vocabulary, they have just memorized the words and
don't understand how to make a sentence out of them. It is a mild form of
autism.
So my husband and I are scared, but at the same time she is already
starting to put sentences together. She says ''yummy green beans,'' and
says bye bye to people when they leave. She bables in the car and tries
to sing to her Barney CD. So I don't know what to think. Is she gifted?
Does she just have a really good memory and is like every other kid, or
does she have some weird autism. My dr. said he had never heard of
hyperlexia and I had to tell him to look it up on the internet. This is all
quite confusing. Her fast learning went from something we were proud
of to something we are scared of.
Shena.
My reading of the research literature and my experience with a
similar child (who is now 7) suggest that you have ABSOLUTELY
nothing to worry about. Retrospective studies of autistic
children and children with other pervasive disorders sometimes
show early signs of hyperlexia, but they also showed many, many
other signs of abnormal attachment and abnormal social
interactions from an early age. Your child sounds like a
normal, verbal, bright toddler.
I'm sure you know by now that friends say all kinds of things
when a child is a little above or below the curve on some
behavior, only some of them being informed statements.
By the way, although our DD knew all numbers, sounds and
letters by 17 months, this did not accelerate her ability to
learn to read. I have read that early identification of
letters is more of a naming and memory feat than a conceptual
feat - more typically, they do not have the higher
comprehension of letters as sounds that can be joined to form
words. Of course, we didn't make any special effort to teach
her to read at an early age, but that was because I didn't feel
she was ready...and DD learned how to read along with her
friends in Kindergarten.
Hoping to reassure
I don't think you should worry at all. She just sounds extremely
bright. It sounds like she knows what the words mean, from your
description, and she enjoys learning. I have a 2-year-old who is
also very bright, knows his letters and numbers, absolutely loves
books, etc... and he's a healthy little boy. He just happens to
see us reading and enjoying books, and wants to do it too.
book mama
Your daughter sounds exactly like my son (who is now 5). Don't
worry at all! My son started his obsession w/the alphabet also
at 18mos and was reading by age 2 1/2. It also freaked other
people out but no one ever said anything that ridiculous. I am a
teacher so I knew already that some kids learn to read quickly
and early. Early doesn't neccessarily mean ''gifted'', just...
early.
Many people assumed (because I'm a teacher) that I taught him to
read and write but I didn't.I just supported his interests. My
advice to you is to relax and enjoy your daughter and this
exciting stage. Encourage and support her interest in letters
and numbers, but don't feel like you have to supplement or sign
her up for classes. Don't pressure her to practice or make
her ''perform'' for others; she will do just fine learning what
she needs on her own.
My son is in Kindergarten and he is the only reader in the class.
They are busy with alphabet activities at the moment and it
doesn't concern me a bit. He loves learning so much that he will
find many ways to challenge his brain throughout his many years
at school.
Don't worry. Your daughter will be fine.
Anon
In my humble opinion, the mom who told you about
''hyperlexia'' was being cruel and thoughtless. If your
daughter is engaged and happy, please don't go looking for
problems, and please refuse to listen to those who would
make you paranoid.
If you encounter problems as your child grows older, you will
have plenty of time to worry, then. For now your job is to
enjoy.
Heather
Perhaps those of you with gifted children might not want to take advice from me,
because my children are decidedly NOT gifted. They are most assuredly average. But
nonetheless, I'm going to make a suggestion. Rather than tie yourself in knots
about whether your child is ''gifted'' or hyperlexic, just take a breath or two and
chill.
My oldest daughter was speaking in long, complicated sentences at 18 months,
knew her letters and numbers, and is an intelligent, normal child. Not gifted. One
only needs to hear her practice her violin to hear how limited her gifts are. And as
for those who worry that their gifted children's lives are not enriched enough - full
with sufficient stimulation, I think the best gift you can give a gifted child is
boredom. Let them be bored. Let them work to fill those hours creatively. Let them
read and play and learn to use their imaginations. Long days full of planned and
structured activities -- Score and Kuman, etc. -- might make your kids ERB results
go up, they might satisfy you that your child is as gifted as you want him to be, but
in the end they won't teach your child to make use of her ''gifts'' in any meaningful
way.
But, then, I'm really just the parent of a bunch of average kids. So take what I say
with a few grains of salt.
Ayelet
I am sure that you will get dozens of replies in support of
you and your child, but your posting just made me so sad
that I had to reply. I hope that the mother who told you about
''hyperlexia'' meant well, but her words were misguided and
even cruel. Unless your child is showing signs of distress
and discomfort, or is, in fact, acting socially inappropriately,
please, just enjoy her. Enjoy her gifts and support her when
she needs you to, and please, don't worry.
Nanu
Don't worry at all. Your daughter sounds like a highly intelligent little
girl whom I am sure you will be very proud of. Nuture her love for books
and learning, and perhaps enter her in an 'advanced' preschool, and
most likely a private elementery school when she gets to that stage.
As for being autistic, I highly doubt it. If you want to help things to be
extra sure, help her to make sure she understands words she is saying,
which it sounds like she does. And the fact that she babbles is a positive
sign that she still has a little babyish part of he so she can fullydefelop
those cruial skills little ones need to learn.
Edmund
If I were you, I'd ignore the well-intentioned pop diagnoses and
enjoy your daughter's passions. We are, IMHO, way too inclined
to pathologize our children, and label their differences as
abnormalities to stew or crow about. My older son was a lot
like your daughter: riveted by letters and numbers. Like your
daughter, he knew the alphabet at 18 months, and was doing
unbelievable math at age three. He would make us lift him to
point to street sign letters, and even memorized car logos.
(''D'ats a Volvo; d'ats a Beemer.'') When he started to speak,
his vocabulary was enormous, and he was funny and smart as hell,
if socially clueless. Well intentioned folks have had all kinds
of opinions about this (and our second) kid over the years, some
of which scared us to death. (Hyperlexia is a new one,
though.) And yes, he is different, and a challenge at times.
But he is a great kid. His early extreme interests were a sign
of things to come -- serial passions, some more fun than
others. But passion is good. He now is devoted to chess (at
which he excels), which is far better, I think, than the studied
boredom of his peers. My advice is to avoid comparing children,
trust your instincts about your child, and don't worry about
anything until you think things are a problem. And even if they
are a problem, deal with them but always believe in your kid,
don't label her.
Mom of Eccentric Kids
Hyperlexia? I think the other mother was just jealous of your
daughter's abilities. Anyway, my son could read all the letters
and numbers before he turned two, and (at three and a bit) he is
still intelligent and verbal and is not antisocial. I'm sure
plenty of other parents will write in with similar anecdotes.
Mother of a verbal kid
Blessing! My four-year-old nephew has autism and his behaviors
sound very different from your daughter's. He has trouble
interacting with people and won't make eye contact much less
say bye-bye. Your daughter sounds absolutely terrific. Don't
let one person (who may not be well informed) throw off what
you know to be true: she is outgoing and social as well as very
bright.
anon
Jan 2002
Our 18-month-old seems quite advanced for his age and we are
wondering if he is a "gifted" child. Has anyone on this list had this
kind of experience? How early can one spot the signs of giftedness?
Is it helpful or is it counterproductive to think of one's child as
different in this way? Any recommendations for local schools,
programs, or support groups for such children and their families?
I too have a "gifted" toddler. Usually, when people talk about
giftedness at this age, they really mean precociousness. I am a math
teacher and I come from a family of precocious children and here's my
opinion and advice: support your child's interests, provide him with
opportunities to stay engaged in learning (school is often boring for
those of us who learn to read when we're 3 or 4), don't become too
grandiose about his talents, or forget his emotional needs. I say
the last bit because precocious children are often very sensitive and
observant about what goes on around them. They can express
themselves in ways that make them sound mature but their emotional
development may be more like their peers. As a parent, you need to
be aware of that and make sure your expectations are fair and
reasonable.
As for the grandiosity caveat: Parents who get too caught up in the
greatness of their children often do so at the child's expense,
pushing them into academic classes that the child may be
intellectually ready for but not socially or emotionally. You set
your child up for tremendous disappointment if you make his
precociousness a way of seeing himself as smarter than others around
him. I remember the panic of a 7th grader in my geometry class as he
realized that the subject was going to be hard for him and he would
have to learn along with his classmates. He felt lost not being the
"smartest" in the class and started having psychosomatic symptoms
that led him to withdraw. I have heard similar stories of high
school valedictorians dropping out of MIT or Stanford because they so
depend on being the smartest. Remember, precociousness is just one
way of being smart. Other children whose development looks more
average may possess gifts that your child can learn from and
appreciate.
In sum: You need to nurture your child intellectually and emotionally,
advocate for his needs when he gets to school, and not make his
talents the sum of his identity or your reason for loving him all the
same time. Best of luck!
-- Anonymous
May 2007
My son is 7 and finishing up the first grade. I'm very concerned
that he is not challenged at school. Thankfully, he's not acting
up and I'm not hearing from the teacher that he's bored, but I
don't want him to keep thinking school is so easy and then get
slammed in high school or college when he finally finds things
challenging.
So I'm thinking of having him tested as a first step toward
getting some resources from our GATE folks. The info on the
website is 8 yrs old. Have you had your young child tested
lately? Do you have a tester to recommend? What did/does it cost?
Thanks very much.
You can test your first grader. Check through UC Berkeley. A friend tested her
daughter, age 4 through the UC community.
I do not want to sound discouraging, but most schools do not have ''Gifted
Programs'' until third grade. In Oakland Schools, because they accepted ''Gifted
Money'' they are required to identify the students. Because there are not enough
resources for testing, most gifted students are identified by being in the top 5%
to 10% of standardized tests. This means that children who have mastered the
year's material and test reasonably well will be identified as gifted as well. If
they are willing to work, it doesn't matter all that much because they are willing
to do the work.
Now, I am not sure if all schools work like Joaquin Miller in Oakland, but there
are no extra classes, field trips or specific educational activities for the kids
who have been identified as gifted. No child regardless of outside testing will be
considered ''gifted'' until 3rd grade and identified by the school district.
Teachers are expected to differentiate the curriculum in the classroom. There are
some teachers who do differentiation well and others who do not.
The differentiation difference is not more problems of the same type, but deeper
ways of doing the same assignments. For example, one teacher has the kids in the
class learning the three branches of government. The children identified as gifted
put on a mock trial for a situation happening at the school. In earlier grades,
children research a reptile or a ''big cat,'' a gifted kid could research the
reptile or big cat and how Global Warming or cutting down the rainforest affects
the population of animals.
It's a very frustrating situation because most people understand ''smart'' and
think that gifted kids are just smarter than other kids. They do not understand
that the WAY and DEPTH that gifted kids gather information is different from other
people.
Mom of a Gifted (and smart) daughter
Sept 2006
Our 4 yo old son will be starting kindergarten in about a year
and we are trying to sort out what would be the best
environment for him. He taught himself to read quite early and
now reads fluently at about a second grade level (and
understands as well); he seems generally academically
precocious, but his reading skills are the most obvious.
Socially and emotionally, he's quite age-appropriate. He is
doing well now at a Montessori preschool which provides a mixed-
age environment and allows kids to progress at their own rate,
but we are not sure where to go from here. We had always hoped
to send him to Berkeley public school, but are wondering
whether he would be sufficiently challenged.Can anyone comment
on this? Also, if we were to explore private school options,
are there any which other parents out there feel do an
especially good job with intellectually gifted kids? (the
archives are a bit dated on these questions) Thanks.
anon
Honey, I feel your pain! I spent six solid months last year
trying to find the right school for my advanced son. He began
reading at 3 years 8 months. By the end of his pre-K year he
was reading at a 4th grade level. Now (the day before
kindergarten begins) he is exploring short division of 4-digit
numbers and also fractions. He entertains himself by reading
the sports section of the Chron.
So, as you can imagine, I searched high and low for a program
that I thought would accomodate him. I found nothing. Granted,
I was constrained by not looking at any school that had a strict
September 1st cutoff (My second child has a 9/9 birthday), and I
also rejected some schools for social reasons (too distant, too
snotty, etc...)
In the end we selected Tehiyah Day School, for 2 major reasons.
First, our family is deeply involved in the Berkeley Jewish
community, and second, we got feedback that the staff there is
remarkable flexible in dealing with a wide range of student
needs, including the highly advanced ones. Black Pine Circle
was a close second (in fact, I preferred it for its academics,
but found it less flexible overall).
In the end, I would be shocked if you find a school with a whole
class of advanced learners to match your child. We decided that
the best approach was to look for flexibility and hope for the
best. I wish you luck!!
Kindergarten starts tomorrow. We will soon see our son at his
school, and will develop some impressions over time about the
school and how it fits him. Wish us luck too.
Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to discuss this
further.
Elisabeth K
Hi - I think it really depends on your academic/parenting
philosophy. Here's our situation with our gifted (though not as
extreme as yours it sounds) son:
He also thrived at an excellent Montessori where his academic
abilities were encouraged and enjoyed but where attention was
also given to the areas he needed to develop (self control, fine
motor, etc.).
Last year he did kindergarden at Malcolm X in Berkeley and it
was a great experience for him - he learned a ton. Was he
challenged academically all the time? Perhaps not, though his
academic skills did advance significantly. He learned a ton
about interacting and negotiating with children and adults of
different ages, from different backgrounds and language groups,
he worked on the areas he really needs to improve: listening to
others, allowing others a chance to answer questions, emotional
maturity, fine motor skills. He's like a sponge for knowledge
and eagerly soaked up the rich offerings from the many adults
who became part of his life (garden teacher, drama teacher,
classroom teachers, etc). He's clearly not bored (I want to
watch for this in the future though) and there's so much new to
learn in terms of topics that he's challenged even though he
already has the mechanics of reading and math under his belt. I
feel like by being at a public school he's working on the areas
that aren't already ahead, which will hopefully make him a more
well rounded individual, instead of focussing on the areas where
he is already ahead, which might help him excel even further in
those areas but might overlook other important areas. That's
why I feel public school is best - I may have to supplement with
academics as time goes on to keep him challenged, but for me
it's easier to supplement there at home than it would be for me
to provide the rich environment school does in other areas.
- Good luck!
I have an early reader and an overachiever in language arts,
but not gifted that I know of. I thought about this issue at
Kindergarten, but given that it is a short day anyway (out in
Contra Costa anyway) and she needed the socialization, and we
have an excellent public school, that I would just wait and
see. We are continuing with public school for now as she is
not bored and enjoys the school. In the end, I wouldn't get
overly concerned about Kindergarten and wait and see how you
and your child enjoy the public school.
Anon
Our daughter read-- REALLY read at 3 and a half... and was
reading chapter books like ''Little House on the Prarie'' and
Harry Potter in Kindergarten. We sent her to our neighborhood
Oakland Public School (Chabot) and never regretted the
decision. We too had concerns that she might be ''bored'' or
uninspired, but honestly, I think kids pick up on their parents
cues regarding this. ''Boredom'' is an excuse, or a cop-out
really...or maybe something parents sort of hope for, in a
perverse kind of way (''my kid's SO smart, he's just bored in
school all day long!'') Kids have SO much to learn at that
point. Even though the academic focus is reading, it was clear
that our daughter needed to learn to balance all the other
parts of her personality (physical, emotional etc...)and the
whole school experience was essential for that. Our daughter
even came home all excited in kindergarten and said, ''we're
learning to read today!'' (The phonics instruction, by the way,
was actually really useful in her emerging spelling and writing
skills, as she did not learn to read phonetically). She was
never ''held back'' by anyone, teacher or student, in public
school. Her reading skills continued to improve dramatically
every year, because she spent so much time or her own reading.
Aa a parent, you can do a lot to enrich your child's
curriculum. And it's important to keep a perspective on who or
what a WHOLE child should be. Our experience was that most
teachers were very responsive in trying to meet her individual
needs, and we also understood that some of the responsiblity
for this enrichment was ours. She's now in 6th grade and still
an extrememly avid and gifted reader.
parent of early reader
This is also a reply to the ''gifted preschooler'' posting.
My child just started first grade. When she was in preschool I
also thought she was gifted and had the same questions as you,
and even thought she should begin kindergarten a year early. I
carefully reviewed the kindergarten and 1st grade state
curriculum and observed her friends who had completed
kindergarten. I decided that she was gifted verbally and an
overall bright child, however in many ways age appropriate. I
sent her to an ''average'' public school, and was prepared to
supplement her schooling as needed.
It turned out that public school was the right place for her and
I learned that children, even bright and gifted, develop their
skills at different rates in different areas. My child was able
to learn from children who were learning faster in math and to
help children whose verbal and reading skills were developing a
little more slowly.
I believe that most children's skills will all even out by about
3rd grade, and by 7th grade, there will appear many bright and
gifted children in Gate and advanced public school classes.
-- public kindergarten, good stuff
I can only answer from the public school perspective, as that is
where my kids go. I recommend that you read the discussion in
BPN archives on when to send kids-with-birthdays-on-the-cusp to
kindergarten, and also any stuff on skipping a grade. There may
be a lot of good info there for you.
In our experience in BUSD kindergarten, there was a wide range of
reading a math and social abilities. One of my kids was advanced
academically, so we worked closely with the teacher to make sure
that kid was being challenged. He progressed well and was not
bored. He learned how to challenge himself. It got much easier
in later years when at least 25% of his fellow students hit their
reading and math stride and caught up. Now he has a great cohort
of academically focused kids around him who love to learn. So
you may find that kindergarten is the most challengeing year
academically for you as a parent, in that you'll need to be more
involved with your child's teacher.
I recommend that you check out public schools in your area, talk
with the principles and parents of academically strong kids. The
money you save on tuition could be used well on enriching classes
and travel. (and if you end up in a public school, please
remember to donate some of those tuition savings to the public
shool - thanks)
Anon.
Gifted, public or private: For us, the dual curriculumat at Oakland
Hebrew Day
School has guaranteed a challenging school experience, and no
complaints of
boredom. We chose to send my son to Oakland Hebrew Day School, first,
for the
opportunity to learn a second language; not just to speak it but to be
literate in it.
Second, traditional Jewish learning develops non-linear, right brain
thinking;
creative, insightful questioning, probing, debating, are inherent in
the approach to
studying Jewish thought through text-trying to find solutions to
problems where
there are two opposite yet valid points of view. In addition, the
small class size is
incredibly beneficial, as social issues can sometimes be a problem for
gifted kids,
as we all know (my son is very shy and socially not with it). With
the small class
size, teachers are really able to fine tune and differentiate learning
for all the
students. For any family, I think these qualities are worth looking for
in a school.
Laura L
Nov 2003
Does anyone know of any playgroups for highly gifted children in
the Berkeley-Albany-El Cerrito area (although we are willing to
travel farther if necessary)? The age group I'm looking for
would be about 6-10 years old. Our child (7 yrs old) is feeling
increasingly isolated and is desperate to play with peers.
Anon
It's hard to find support for highly gifted children in this
area, but it does exist. There was a playgroup called ''Curious
Kids'' on the Peninsula last year. Our 8-y-o daughter attended;
it was a long drive, but worth it because she found a wonderful
friend. The group isn't meeting now because they lost their
space, but if they start up again I can let you know.
Also, here are some local contacts that we've found really
helpful.
Annemarie Roeper founded a famous school for gifted children in
Michigan, and then retired in El Cerrito. She is a wonderful
source of information and help, especially if you have a gifted
child in crisis. (We've been there!)
Annemarie Roeper's website: http://www.roeperconsultation.com/
Excellent webpage with list of local resources for gifted
children:
http://www.armadillosoft.com/school/index.php?thePage=gtBay
Those are good places to start. Feel free to email me if you
have more questions. Good luck finding help for your child. It
can feel very lonely because giftedness is one of the most
misunderstood special needs.
sa_58
Is he feeling isolated because he's bright? If so, maybe you want to help him
feel ''normal'' by involving him in some activities kids typically do like soccer
rather than making him feel more isolated by bringing him to the ''special''
playgroup. Volunteer activities might serve the same purpose...anything to help
him feel connected rather than a species apart. Even if you do find a group, it's
not likely to be a happy one. Imagine a bunch of kids who have been labeled
''bright'' coming together. They couldn't help but compare eachother's
intelligence. What an efficient way for the kids to lose touch with the joy of a
good mind.
lose the label, find the child
Hi,
Since you request a group for PLAY, the kids would not need to
be highly gifted. Perhaps you mean you are seeking a group which
would have similar interests to your child. Of my three
children, I had one highly gifted child. And, like all children,
he liked to play with kids with similar interests. My son loved
Dungeons and Dragons (a fantasy game) and played it at a very
high level, and was frustrated if kids did not know the game or
were not at his level.
We were lucky to find some outstanding players of this game, and
my son even attended some D and D conventions with the Masters.
Once his need to meet this challenge was provided, he then
became more tolerant of teaching other kids at lower skill
levels.
Likewise, we also arranged for our son to have violin, piano,
soccer, skiing, art, etc. groups, and sent him to an ungraded
private Montessori school where the curriculum could challenge
him. However, just because he was academically, athletically,
and physically gifted, he was not gifted in all areas. He
needed some work in skill sets such as tolerance, patience,
diversity, etc.
Once, at about age 9, he put his fist into a classmate's mouth
and broke off the kid's tooth and said ''you are stupid because
you cannot read.'' This particular non-reader child is now a
championship NFL football player. My son now feels privileged
to have grown up with him. So, being ''gifted'' has many facets.
Kids can be gifted in a way your child is not. So, my advice is
to find activities and friends who meet your child's interests,
but also be sure your child has broad exposure to many types of
kids who will be able to offer her/him something-- which you may
not have figured out just what your child is or will get from
these kids until later.
Also, the world is a complex and diverse place, and what better
way to prepare for it than making sure your child gets broad
experiences from an early age.
Anon
Why not try signing your child up for classes or activities that
would attract other gifted children, like Berkeley's Academic
Talent Development Program?
http://www-atdp.berkeley.edu/
Good luck to you in finding a good friend for your son!
susan
Sept 2004
Hi
my son just started kindergardten and loves it. many
of his preschool friends are i his class and he enjoys the
after care at the cedars room with them also/
we live close bye to the school and i too have many parents who
are friends of longstanding. being a single parent there
support has been invaluable for pick ups and drop offs when a
crisis arises.
however i dont feel my son is learning much. until now i was
quite complacent simply because i have enough problems without
looking for more.
however over the weekend i spent 30 minutes teaching him to
read and today he went to class and started writing sentences
spelling correctly 4 letter words. i was amazed as was his
teacher who told me what he did. he has the vocabulary of a 9
year old and is very analytical and articulate. thing is he is
also a mischevious little kid who if left to his own devices
would happily play all day.
should i move him to a private school, which means we would not
be able to buy a home,but have to carry on renting or leave him
where he is. is it possible to get him extra tuition where he
is challenged at the weekend s??
am i being negligent? everyone i know tells me how bright he
is, i just dont want to short change him. he makes friends
easily and i dont think he will have problems adapting apart
from initially.
any advice?
amber
Hi,
I can't help you much, but I can tell you as a parent of a
gifted first grader in a highly-regarded, developmental,
expensive private school that private school is not necessarily
what your child needs. Many private schools are so ''PC'' that
they won't even use the term gifted, considering it elitist. I
cannot tell you how much ignoring their special needs harms
exceptional children who really NEED differentiated curriculum
as well as an understanding of their non-academic selves (ie
emotional intensity and sensitivity) in order to do well in
school and life. Giftedness is not a moral term or a value
judgment, and it is not a given that the gifted will be ''fine''
because they are so ''smart'' when their different learning needs
are not met. It also in no way implies that these kids are
any ''better'' or ''more important'' than anyone else... only that
they are different and no less important.
I wish I had an answer for you, but the only advice I can offer
so far is that it probably isn't wise to spend your money on any
private school that does not acknowledge and make at least some
attempt to address the special educational needs of gifted kids,
which are just as important as the special needs of kids on the
other end of the bell curve! So I would suggest you ask upfront
before making any changes. Our child was adopted, so we have no
personal experience with this issue, and the last couple of
years have been quite an eye-opener.
anon
Is my 2-year-old gifted?
Sept 2000
My two year-old is gifted, I think. From 18 months old, he
has been memorizing passages from books we read him and reciting
them to us or himself all day long. Now he has moved to
memorizing songs -- not easy ones, but "Morning Has Broken,"
"Do, A Deer," "Let's Go Fly a Kite," etc., and he gets them
almost word-perfect. Then this week he started imitating
James Cagney's tap-dancing routines in the movie about George
M. Cohan, "Yankee Doodle Dandy." SO: am I just an over-eager mom,
or is this kid out of the ordinary? How can I encourage that
amazing memory and love of learning without making him self-conscious
or learning a bore? I would appreciate specific resources as well
as general advice. Francis
I urge you to check out the Montessori philosophy of early
education. It is really quite different from what most of us
think of as pre-school. For the gifted child, it is the only
education structure that can fully develop your child's
potential and natural love of learning. Public school and/or
typical preschool, no matter how good, just don't meet the
gifted child's abilities.
My son, (mathematically precocious) started Montessori at
aged three (you can start them younger) and is now in second
grade-- still Montessori-- and I could not be happier with how
he is developing both intellectually and socially.
Helene
The best way to encourage your toddler is to follow his
interests. You appear to be doing this right now. If he
is fascinated with something, do more of it, then find ways
to vary it, make it more complex, last longer, whatever.
As soon as he seems to lose interest, drop it and see what
he's on to now.
Very young children show startling competencies and, also,
major deficits. This is normal development because nobody
progresses on all fronts at once. Whether or not you later
find he is "gifted" is not as important as truly loving him
for what he is right now.
If you are thinking of enrolling him in some kind of program,
young children do very well in programs that allow long periods
of free play with other children their age. Attempts to
encourage academics at an early age tend, in the long run, to
depress intellectual development.
Louise
Sept 2004
I have an almost 3 year-old who is very intelligent and has been
very verbal (also, very intense) since at least 18 mths old. In
fact, from the age of about 18 mths, most people thought he was
at least 3. He has the most astounding memory and is extremely
observant. I don't know if he is gifted and am not as concerned
about that as I am about channeling his skills into appropriate
activities, classes etc. Of course, if he is not interested in
any of the classes/activities, I'll stop - I just don't want to
miss something to introduce to him that he could really enjoy.
All that said, is there someone/some organization out there
which does evaluation/assessment of skills or aptitudes? Right
now, I don't have him in any classes and haven't for the last
year but am looking to try something out. Any advice?
Thanks.
EA
I am sure that you are very proud of your child, however what ou
are describing is very much like a Nonverbal Learning Disorder
(NLD). NLD is a developmental disability which all too often
goes undiagnosed. These children are often bright, sometimes
incredibly so. As young children they may actually be targeted
as gifted, due to their mature vocabulary, rote memory skills,
and apparent reading ability.However, parents likely realize
early on that something is amiss. As preschoolers, these
youngsters probably have difficulty interacting with other
children, with acquiring self-help skills, are not physically
adept, are not adaptable, and present with a host of other
troublesome problems that are of concern, but not alarming.
In all likelihood, the children bump along (figuratively and
literally) through their early elementary years, handling the
academic demands fairly well, except when their fine motor
difficulties get in the way, or they fail to attend to a math
symbol calling for addition or subtraction, or some other subtle
symptom of their disorder derails them. As these children enter
the upper elementary grades or begin middle school, they are
left to handle more tasks on their own. Things rapidly begin to
deteriorate. They get lost, forget to do homework, seem
unprepared for class, have difficulty following directions,
struggle with math, can't read their social studies textbook,
can't write an essay, continually misunderstand both their
teachers and their peers, and are often anxious in public and
angry at home. They are accused of being lazy, rude,
uncooperative, and worse. Nothing could be farther from the
truth! They are hardworking, persistent, goal-oriented, and
incredibly honest. They have NLD.
More info can be found at: http://www.nldontheweb.org/
NLD Parent
I have read the past few messages about ''gifted'' kids with interest
because I was there once, too. I remember an activities teacher telling
me my daughter was ''autistic'' because she was very shy, very intense,
and very smart! But a few words of experience:
* we let her persue all her interests that we could afford or tolerate.
Violin, dance, after school art classes -she ate them up and asked for
more.
* public school worked wonderfully for us. She was accellerated a
grade, and took all the Honors and AP classes offered in middle and
high school. It allowed us to afford all those other extras, and we never
felt she was ignored or treated poorly. It also gave her a wonderful
empathy and understanding of kids who were not like her.
* She is now a highly successful high school junior wth enough good
friends to feel socially comfortable in a HUGE urban high school. She
works hard and plays hard. Interestingly enough, she is seriously
considering taking a year off after high school (after getting into a highly
competitive college) so she won't be the sixteen-year-old college
freshman.
I think she has been able to find balance with her abilities and
intensities. It's important to look at the big picture - not just what their
needs are now, or even what will happen when they are sixteen or
twenty - but how they will find their way at every stage of their
development. I know how freaked out I was when she was in pre-school
and everyone was telling me how precocious she was or how I felt when
her teachers wanted her moved up a year, but I love seeing her now as
a normal kid, with some special skills but a very happy place in her
world.
Hope this helps.
her mom
Oct 2003
My 3 year old attends several activities each week and many of
her teachers have approached me, asking if she is gifted. I
think she might be, but maybe she is just bright or a quick
learner. We are on our 3rd preschool since last September, and
haven't found anything that seems to fit her needs, so I am
starting to think that gifted may indeed be the correct label.
SO... what do I do now? One of her teachers suggested getting
her tested. What does that really get us, besides confidence
in the gifted label? Does an official assessment get us
anywhere with the school district when it is kindergarten
registration time? I am already doing kindergarten-level work
with her at home, so I can predict that she will be bored and
unhappy, just as she is in preschool now.
We are going to try one more Montessori preschool, and I am
going to continue to work with her at home until she is 5, but
I need to have a plan in place for kindergarten time. Her
pediatrician suggested homeschooling, but I'm not sure I'm up
for that 24/7. Others have suggested private school, but I
don't see how we can afford it. So I want to see what I can do
with the public schools.
What exactly is involved in assessing a possibly gifted child?
Is it a test? Or a meeting with a specialist? How much does
it cost? If you have had your young child assessed, did you
gain anything from it?
I've searched the archives and found some info on AnneMarie
Roeper... she seems to be a true specialist AND she is local -
is that where I should go now?
I'd appreciate any advice you can give! I'm stumped!
not-so-gifted momma
I did not test my daughter because I really didn't want to know how a test
would describe her. A pediatrician friend once told me that when
parents came to him with very small children saying they were gifted, his
advice was ''come back when they are 10''. In fact some children start
out learning quicker and faster, but often level out when they get older
and more opportunities are open to them. Do not give up on public
schools, though. My daughter was accellerated when she was about 7at
her teacher's recommendation - doing 2nd and 3rd grade in one year -
and has continued to plow throught he most challenging of (now) high
school courses. First grade was the most un challenging, but
kindergarten provided enough new things, especially the challenge of
making new friends in a much more diverse environment. (She still tells
me how much she appreciates being in school with kids who are
different from her).
In the meantime, offer lots of new experiences. Music lessons - piano
and violin can be started at 4 and up, dance, art, museum, trips, and lots
of books! I think it is important for bright kids not to be isolated, but to be
around lots of differently abled kids who may have skills or abilities they
don't. The hardest part of having a really bright kid was following your
own heart about what to do for them. Sometimes you need to take
other's advice with a grain of salt...mine included!
her mom
Hi-- I grew up locally and tested as gifted early on in
elementary school by AnneMarie Roeper (I'm in my mid 30s, so
she's been around a while!). She's a great resource.
With regard to preschool, have you tried something other than
Montessori? It can be tough for some kids and their respective
learning styles. I know that with my kind of ''giftedness'' (quick
learner, highly verbal), it would have been a disaster. There
are lots of ways to be gifted, and Montessori does work for some.
Check out this website for some good resources:
http://www.cagifted.org/
Good luck!
--gifted mom
Berkeley Montessori School met the needs of my son (and the many
other children in his mixed-age 3-6 year old class who were
reading). The Montessori method allows each child to progress at
his or her own level, and a good Montessori teacher can give
gifted children challenging and stimulating work while allowing
the children to be in a setting with children at their
social/emotional level. My gifted son is now in the 3rd grade
and doing great work at Berkeley Montessori School: he is happy,
loves learning, loves his class, and is not bored at all. So I
believe that Montessori schools can be a great option for a
gifted child.
-Happy parent
September 2001
Can anyone recommend a preschool and/or elementary school for my 3 year old
son, who was recently assessed by a child psychologist as having the cognitive
level of a 7 year old? He is bright, but his social skills are skill those
of a 3 year old. I do not want to put him in a classroom with much older
children just to keep him stimulated. If anyone else has a similiar
situation,
I would really appreciate hearing what your experience has been and if you have
found a school/program that your child is thriving in. I barely even know
where
to begin looking, so any advice would be a help
bridget
For the mother looking for advice about the gifted 3-year-old:
Actually, I think the most valuable thing you can do for your child with
respect to school is to avoid, at all costs, "academic" preschools and
kindergartens. Nothing is as deadly for an extremely gifted child as
sitting through lessons about the alphabet and phonics and "the numbers
1-10." Instead, find a place where he can be social and creative (lots of
art and music!), and let him find his own academic way, with your help, at
home. Later you will agonize over elementary school, but again, watch out
for schools that claim to be really academic. A school program that is "a
year ahead" will most likely be useless to your son academically, and might
be more rigid about accommodating his needs than another, less (officially)
academic program. There are wonderful materials available for learning at
home, by the way, so I'm sure you will find ways to keep his brain fed.
Good luck, don't panic, and enjoy your son!
Anne N.
Check out the Montessori philosophy of education. I think it is by far
the best approach for super bright kids. It allows the child to work at
his or her own level and speed and fosters independence of thought, self
reliance, and respect for oneself, others and the environment. My son
attends The Renaissance School, (formerly a Child's World Montessori
School), in Oakland, and they have a few kids there who are in the super
bright category and are thriving. The school has both a tremendous
breath as well as depth in the curriculum. Also, I would suggest you
read some of Maria Montessori's books to understand the philosophy and
how it translates into the classroom in order to understand what the
education is all about. Unfortunately, most journalists who write about
it only repeat standard clichis and are woefully uninformed. Good luck
in your search.
Helene
Assessing a Gifted 4-year-old
April 1999
My daughter will be five in January...so she will be the oldest in
her class when she starts kindergarten. I am afraid she will be
bored. She is already starting to read and can add numbers and write
her letters. She is extermely verbal with a sophisticated vocabulary.
While I don't see my daughter as a child prodigy, she seems to shows
some signs of giftedness. Is this something that can be assessed at
an early age? It's hard to be objective when looking at your own
children. I don't want to push my daughter but I want to look out for
her best interests so that she is sufficiently academically
stimulated. Any advice?
Anne Marie Roeper is an older woman who has worked with issues around
gifted children for many years. It is her specialty. In the past, I
have heard positive feedback. Telephone is 763-3173.
Home |
Reviews |
Advice |
Members |
Post a Message
Join BPN |
Help |
What's New |
Search |
Contact Us
Last updated: Apr 28, 2009
Copyright © 1996-2009 Berkeley Parents Network
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Please see
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.