17 year-old wants tutor, not high school

I have a 17 year-old son who is a junior. He would like to take charge of his own education: choosing topics to read about, research and write on in greater depth than is possible in school.

I don't feel competent to home school him. Do you have any suggestions as to how we could set up a program to meet his learning style? Any resources anyone could refer me to? He'd like to work with a tutor like in the old days. Anonymous

Flora Russ -- Computer Science Dept, BHS

(recommendation for Berkeley Independent Study is Here)

Self-schooling or unschooling is not the same as homeschooling. You needn't do the teaching. As your son realizes, tutors can be found everywhere. Many uschoolers start college early, some later. Your son can easily earn a high school diploma now, by taking the California High School Proficiency Exam, and continue to learn in whatever way he does best.

Michael

Son has decided to drop out and take the equivalency exam

After a six-month struggle, we could no longer fight with our son to stay at Berkeley High and he has made the decision to leave school, take the high school equivalency exam and go to community college as an alternative route to university. I have heard many stories of people who have done this successfully and, although it would not have been my choice for him, I think he will ultimately do well. But I would be interested in hearing from other parents whose kids have taken this route. TIA. Miriam

17-year-old has dropped out - what are his options?

My 17 yr old son has always had difficulty in school (since middle school). He has struggled up to the 11th grade with poor attendance and even poorer grades. He knows that he does not have enough credits to graduate next school year and thus has dropped out. I have pushed, threatened, begged, pleaded and enticed him to continue in school, but since i am a single parent I must work and cannot be at home to make sure he goes off to school. He is not playing hookey or hanging out elsewhere during school hours and knows that I do not allow him to go out in the evening if he didn't go to school. So there he is, at home, all day and night, 24/7. He says that he wants a high school diploma but we don't know what his options are. The school he is suppose to attend has no other alternatives other then attending classes there. We have spoken about attending an adult school and obtaining his GED but he feels strongly about finding other ways to get a high school diploma. I am at a loss. I can't understand how he expects to earn a high school diploma without going to school. Do anyone out there know of alternatives to a high school education without attending school?? Note: I live in Albany and we have explored all options there already.

I suggest you try the Albany or Berkeley Alternative High Schools. This works for some kids. It allows them a place to go and have a more 1 on 1 experience with a teacher. I think you can also send your kid to Vista. I would try having a tutor come and work with your son, in basics -- math/writing and/or music/choir-- social things outside of school environs, where they can build positive self esteem. Some way to give them a grasp on something positive - a lifesaver to a seemingly drowning person. I would pray and I would stay positive and not worry....... as roses do bloom at different times. Linda

Editor Note: the postings about the Parent Project are here: http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommend/therapy/parentproject.html

Take the California High School Proficiency Examination (CHSPE) rather than the GED. The CHSPE gives you a high school diploma from the State of California. One of my former students (class of 2000) completed her sophomore year and started her junior year but she really wanted to get out on her own as quickly as possible. She took the CHSPE and passed and started school for massage therapy. When her classmates got their high school diploma last June she was finishing the certification for her massage theray program.

Another student had a lot of issues about school and the restrictions of school. She, too, took the CHSPE and passed and is currently working. I hope that some day she will return to a post-secondary program to explore fields that might interest her.

Information on the test may be found on the State of California website at: http://www.chspe.com/main.html. I believe the deadline for registering is next week and the test is during the first part of November, prior to the 16th.

Good luck to her. I'm sure she will pass and can then decide what path she wishes to take.

Flora Russ --
Berkeley High School

I can't tell you yet whether or not this is working (from an academic standpoint), since we've only been doing it a few months. The book suggests that you let your teen take a "break" of indeterminite time when undertaking this process. This is to allow them to "recover" from the damage inflicted by the current system of schooling, which according to the author (with lots of convincing evidence) was desiged not to foster a love of learning, but to turn out good, unthinking factory workers. I know this is controversial (just listen to the ads pro and con about Prop 38!), but it made sense to us after all our struggles, and watching her becoming more and more frustrated with school. I *do* know that the moment we told her we would do this, she became the active, animated person that I knew her to be in the past. And I would say she's already moving toward some serious learning on her own. She applied for and got a great short-term job with Zeum over the summer. She did a summer theater production. She read Brave New World last month, and we talked about it. She went to England with her aunt and uncle, and saw a lot of theater (one of her passions). She's starting a teen drama group, which is a REALLY big project that I totally support. I heard her last night discussing a book with another homeschooled teen, something that I've never read, but that sounds REALLY interesting, about early american history. She's done several sewing projects, developed an interest in the Oakland A's, applied for a job with the Athletics, and now is the person to do all the data entry and keep our entire household budget. The results are, academically, a bit intangible. But it sure looks to me like she's learning all kinds of things, and this will be a positive experience. And all of this is during her "break"!! She plans to start a couple of community college classes next spring, and wants to go live in Europe for a while in a year or two.

Regarding taking the exam and then doing community college--you might want to do it slightly differently. In California you can file something called an R-4 Affadavit, and become your own private school. Once you have done this, your child can take classes at the Community College *FOR FREE*. (You, as the school officer, sign the recommendation allowing them to take classes "concurrently" with their "regular" high school curriculum). They get credit just like they would if they had taken the equivalency exam, but you don't have to pay the tuition. If your child is already interested in taking Community College classes, this might be an option that you strongly want to consider. And it may be that the higher level of classes, and the fact that your child can choose *exactly* which classes to take, will allow them to succeed where "traditional" high school has not.

For alternative education get a copy of Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook, How to Quit School and get a Real Education--it is full of ideas for education outside of school. It sounds like your daughter may be a candidate for self-schooling, since other forms of school don't work for her.

My own kids (16 and 18) both have a CHSPE diploma, and are self-schoolers (or unschoolers), though when in school they have done well, i.e., gotten good grades and good test scores. However, both are very independent, and pursue their own interests, preferring not to follow a canned curriculum and format usually presented by schools.

My 16 year old daughter is also pursuing theater, and looking forward to college level classes in dance and theater. Your daughter might enjoy classes at ACT (though expensive), but the best involvement might be in a community theater--whatever is nearby: Actor's Workshop at Live Oak Theater, Contra Costa Civic Theater in El Cerrito, Masquer's Playhouse in Point Richmond, Chanticleer in Castro Valley. She can audition, volunteer, paint sets, whatever. My daughter finds the community theater her home-away-from-home, including a crew of theatrical friends to hang out with. Sometimes she is in plays, sometimes on crew, sometimes managing the house.

Though our family is a distinct minority, especially in this educational institution-crazed town, there are other ways to get an education than in school; and there are positive, constructive, educational opportunities everywhere in life. I'd also be interested to find a career counselor who can think outside the box of school diplomas and degrees.

Michael

We have a smart, stubborn, independent 18 and a half year old who seemed to emotionally fall apart at the start of senior year in a local small private high school. He simply could/would not do any home work, and let a 3.4 GPA slip into Ds and Fs. He claimed that he should have been in the public high school, although after all 8 grades in public school, he was also starting to go down dangerous paths, and we felt the need to find more structure for him when starting high school. By November of his senior year, he simply left high school and home, and after two months, had parlayed his weekend job into a full-time job.

He has now passed the CHSPE, works full time for all his own "projects" (cars) and spending money, lives at home with us, and plans to start local community college to give it a try in the fall. He seems happier, proud of his accomplishments, and behaves mostly like an adult with respect to his work responsibilities.

Although this is still a "work in progress", and we had our hearts set on a UC or CSU right away after high school graduation, it was just not meant to be. The pressure with SATs and applications throughout fall of Senior year was simply excessive for this boy, and he has honorably found another path which we are now supporting. Communication and caring at home has vastly improved, although sometimes it seems that we have a young tenant who only accepts the most minor guidance, whom we see about twice a week, rather than the son who requires parenting----so we feel that we are learning these new "hands off" skills. The pressure in our community to be able to share information with our own peers about high school graduation, GPAs, SAT scores, and college admission is off the charts---and very hard when your child does not select that path.

If nothing else, parenting teens teaches us humility......

good luck, loosen those reins----
Anonymous