Applying to High Schools
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Applying to High Schools
Oct 2006
I live in Richmond and have an 8th grade son. Since public
schools is not really an option here, I've started the
process of looking into private high schools. I've sent for
applications, signed up for open houses and visits. Any
other advice?
Anxious mom....
Dear Anxious mom..,
1. Ask your current principal if other students have gone to Private
High School in the last five years and where they applied, were accepted and
where they went. Internal recommendations from current families enrolled can
also informally or formally influence the admission decision. Having current
families speak for you if your student is waitlisted is also helpful.
2. http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/school.html
http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommend/schools/highschools.html
3. Post which schools you are looking at on this forum to get specific
advice and your email address if you wish to be contacted.
4. Apply to a fair number of schools. Even good students are not
automatically admitted. Have your child study and be well rested for
the test. If you have not taken these tests yet, find out which one(s) you need
this week and register. Parochial schools usually need (COOP/HSPT) and the
independent schools want the ISEE.
5. Make grids and check lists so you make sure that you have scheduled
all your visits and interviews and get all forms and applications in ahead
of deadlines. Informal sources say you have a better chance of admission
and financial aid if you get your materials in completely and ahead of
final deadlines. Make sure your student writes his/her own essay. Your child
needs to provide original and thoughtful answers in their portions of the
applications and during interviews. Schools can tell if a parent writes
applications and even go so far as to collect writing samples. You can
discuss the essays with them but don’t write them yourself. Same goes for
interviews, make sure your student knows what an interview is, maybe do some
role-play but don’t overdo it especially if you are anxious like you say.
6. The Marin private schools are actually closer to Richmond than many
of the East Bay Schools and they all have private bus service. St. Mary’s in
Berkeley, the Pacific Academy in Richmond are closer. We go to The Athenian
School in Danville. It is a long trip every day but the academics, programs,
teachers are fantastic. Since they are a bit far away they may not have the volume of
applications that the San Francisco schools do. In my opinion the bus
service from The Athenian School does the trick very well. I think it is a
better commute than San Francisco, but I have known many students who have
graduated that have gone to San Francisco, and Danville. Berkeley also
has Maybeck, and Arrowsmith. Oakland has CPS, Head Royce and several
others.
7. You can also look into transfer to El Cerrito, Walnut Creek, Orinda,
and Lafayette Public Schools or look into the home schooling High School
parents groups. Oakland and San Francisco also have public Schools of the Arts
that require auditions.
private school parent
Please don't limit your search to just private schools.
We decided to save the money for college when we saw how
many great charter high schools there are. We chose Urban
Renaissance in Oakland because their goal is to get every
child who graduates into a 4 year college. Its small and
personalized. Their project oriented curriculum is
technology and arts based. My daughter is flourishing.
When was the last time you got a call from your child's
teacher telling you how great your child is doing in class?
Others we looked at were OSA, College Prep., and
Lighthouse. All were great. These are more competitive
Jenny
1999
Hi Everyone,
Happy new Millennium! My son has been given an incredible
opportunity. I'm a low-income single mom, and my aunt has offered to
pay my son's way to Putney H.S. in Vermont. I have discussed the
reality of this with my 14 year old son. He is interested and says he
wants to go but does not seem motivated to answer the questions (self
reflective; difficult) on the application. I know that I need to step
back from this and let him take the reins, but at the same time I
don't want to sit back and watch him procrastinate his big chance
away. Does anyone have any advice for a frustrated/confused mom.
thanks very much.
Sometimes my teens have a strong desire to do something that requires
filling out a form (get a job, play on a team, take a class, go to
college) but they don't seem to know where to start. I think they get
overwhelmed with all the possibilities. And often they won't or can't
ask for help. I have tried waiting and have learned the hard way that
deadlines might be missed that we both will regret. I would not assume
delay getting the forms filled out means they don't want to do it. Once
you've determined that he does want to do it, you should give him as
much assistance as he seems to need
What a great opportunity! Perhaps your son is a bit conflicted, though.
It sounds like he would be going away from you for quite a while, and
moving to a whole new state (and in Vermont, it might also be argued to be
a whole new state of mind!), where he doesn't have a base of friends. Is
there someone else you trust that you could enlist to help? Perhaps if he
had an adult "buddy" through this application process it would
help--someone to call him up and ask if he's done the application, someone
to read his rough drafts and comment, to offer encouragement and support.
I'm sure you could do it, but he might perceive your wish to help as a
desire to "get rid of" him--not the message you want to send! A neutral
party might help. Another thought: Any way you could get him in touch with
someone he'd be going to school with? Sort of a pen-pal to start, someone
who could help him adjust in the early days that he's there? Maybe if he
felt like he knew someone there, it might help him get through the
difficult application process.
Good luck to you both!
Dawn
To the mom who's son won't fill out the application (this may be way off
base, because maybe Mom and son have discussed this at length but one
thought I had when I read Mom's concern was as follows):
He may be excited about the opportunity but also hesitant to go 3,000 miles
away from his primary parent. Opening a gentle discussion about the
separation anxiety that Mom probably also feels may allow the son to express
his own concerns. Our culture does not allow a space for teens to need
their Moms, especially boys. He may need help holding the conflicting
excitement about the opportunity and the sadness at the loss of living away
from Mom. He may even be worried that Mom is going to be sad and he has to
protect her from this. He may also have fears about leaving friends, pets,
siblings, extended family. There are a wealth of options here. The bottom
line is that the procrastination may be more about unresolved fears, etc.
than a lack of motivation.
-Shastine
To the frustrated, confused Mom whose son is procrastinating about filling
out the application to Putney: If you want your son to take this opportunity
you must make it clear to him that you believe it is the best thing for him.
He should not feel that it is up to him to make this decision--it is not
appropriate for a young teenager to make a decision of this magnitude on his
own. You must also talk to him about how hard it will be for both of you to
live so far apart. Make sure he knows you will be okay on your own in
California. Make certain he knows that you will stay in touch and that you
believe in his ability to make the transition to Putney. The issues of
separation, of living apart, of each of you being on your own, must be
talked about openly and directly. You might both be feeling ambivalent about
the opportunity for him to move across the country and this might be what
makes it hard for him to get down to the task of completing the application.
I believe that children still need guidance and
sometimes a push to get things done even though they
are teenagers. Don't back off. Help him understand
the consequences of not filling out the application vs
filling out the application. His lack of motivation
could be spurred by fear. He could be thinking "if I
complete this, get accepted, I've gotta go". Pick his
brain some to find out what's really going on with
him. If he indeed wants to pursue this an idea to make
the process not so burdensom (because filling out
applications is a pain!) is doing it in small doses
each day. Good luck.
Here's my two cents to the frustrated/confused mom whose son has been offered the
chance to go to Putney. Maybe your son has mixed feelings about going; he wants to go,
but isn't 100% sure he does. Talk to him about his feelings - why he would want to go, but
also what's keeping him in doubt. Leaving friends behind? Family? Isn't sure kids there
will like him, etc. Maybe this will help him make a more conscious decision. In my
experience, sometimes kids sit back and let "fate" make decisions for them they feel
ambivalent about - they do nothing (e.g., don't fill out that questionnaire), then the time
for action comes and goes, and the decision gets made for them.
Sue
Oct 2000
Need some advice. We have a boy in 7th grade and we've been hearing how
hard it is to get into private high schools since there aren't that many
schools for the amount of candidates.
I just talked to a mom this morning who said that applications have to be
sent in in the fall of a student's 8th grade year. Any words of advice on
how to navigate the application process or make your kid more appealing to
private high schools?
Lynn
On navigating the process: We made sure our son was a part of the decision making
process. He went to one of the preliminary presentations about the school and
then went to a school presentation that just happened to be before the application
process began. His feeling comfortable with the process and liking the school
helped. Seeing the other students put on their "poetry slam" made a big
impression. He also had to write a letter and could choose a letter of
introduction or commitment. Since the references had to be current teachers,
there was not a lot of worrying about picking and choosing. In essence, kids will
be themselves and schools take into consideration grades, references, interviews,
parent comments and any testing they may give. For us, making sure the fit was
right was just as important as any other factor. Our school focuses on the
individual student and their student body is very heterogeneous; accepting of
different learning styles, personalities, race, gender, ethnicities, etc.
Feel free to send a note if you have questions. I think applying to schools is
harder on the parents than it is on the kids.
Julie
My daughter went to Berkeley public schools through the 8th grade. We
then applied to many private high schools in the area (fall of the
8th grade year). I would be happy to discuss the big application
process and any insight I might have gained. I feel it is too lengthy
to write it all here. Feel free to contact me directly. My daughter
now attends Saint Mary's High School in Berkeley.
Lynn
Since your child is currently in the 7th grade, it wouldn't hurt for both him
and you to attend the open houses offered through the Fall by just about
every private high school in the Bay Area. You can call each school's
Admissions Office now and request to be put on their mailing list, and let
them know that you wish to attend their Open House presentation. Some
schools offer a variety of dates, some just one, typically on Saturday or
Sunday afternoons throughout November. This way you will have had a sense of
the "personality" of a number of schools and will be a bit more familiar with
the steps involved in the application process. And you may be better able to
figure out which schools feel like the best match for your child's
personality and interests.
Other than keeping up good grades in the 7th grade (definitely an important
component of the equation here), the only major way in which a student could
prepare for the admission process is by learning and practicing test-taking
skills. Admissions directors can be vague on how important are the tests in
relation to other parts of the admissions process, but this is an area in
which you can at least make sure that your child is as well prepared as
possible, much as I hate to write it. Cody's and other local bookstores
carry books on how to prepare for the SSAT and the ISEE and other high school
entrance exams.
Two other parts of the admissions process are the student interview and the
personal essay. Parochial schools may also interview the parents. I would
caution any parent to become too directly involved with coaching their
children in either step, especially with the essay. While it makes sense to
check for spelling errors and to help with proofreading, what the schools are
looking for is the voice and style of young teenagers. Surely as admission
staff read hundreds of those essays per year, they develop their own radar
and can spot a heavy parental hand a mile away.
Finally, I would also take a good look at the public schools and speak to as
many 9th graders (and their parents) as possible, both in private and public
schools. Keeping one's options open is wise in this situation. Finally,
what really helped our family as we dealt with the whole process last year
was to establish limits and to stick to a relatively short list of schools.
For one thing, interviews and visits to school have a way of interfering with
the routine of 8th grade schoolwork. For another, rejection is awfully
painful to 13-year-olds (and their parents!) and a high number of
applications also raises the risk significantly.
Laura
Start looking now for the school you and your son are interested. It
helps you and your child feel what the schools has to offer. By the time
he's in 8th grade, the two of you will be ready. This will give ample
time to make the final decision. Each school requests an hand written
questionaire/essay/paragraph about yourself (i.e. describe a person who
has been a hero in your life, touched your life or the life of someone
close to you and why you admire this person, why you apply, describe
strong points about yourself, and so forth). Every school has different
questions but are similar. Start working with thoughts he might want to
say in his essay. When it time to fill out the form, he would feel more
comfortable. Call the schools and ask to place your on their admission
mailing list for '01 or when applications available. Having your own
worksheet with all the schools helps tremendously. Have columns so all
the infor can be on one sheet (if possible).
List private schools, address, phone and contact; Date/Day/Time;
Student Parent Visitation Program; Preliminary Application Filing
Date; Open House; Priority Filing Date for applications; Entrance
Exmination; Notification Date; and Registration Deadline; and COMMENTS
Ex: School Name: xxxxxxxxxxx Sept 1 Wed. Appl. Available
Addr.: Sept 22&29 Wed or Thu Student Visit
Phone: Contact: Oct 13&28
Tuition Fee: Oct 15 Fri Filing Date
School Name: xxxxxxxxxxx Aug 30 Thur Appl. Available
Check off each item once you completed the task.
Xerox several copies of your admission form. Do not write on the
orginal until you are ready to do the "Final" copy.
Anonymous
Most do their own admissions testing. So doing really well on the test
is important. There are usually
tours and admission interest days where you can tour and talk with
admissions personnel and staff.
They may provide an opportunity to interview your prospective student.
Some schools give priority to siblings of students already enrolled.
Some still have affirmative action programs and will admit for balance.
Most are not need blind, but do have some limited amounts of finacial
aid.
Roger
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