Berkeley Parents Network: Applying to Private Schools

Berkeley Parents Network

Applying to Private Schools

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > School & Preschool > Applying to Private Schools

Questions

The Private Kindergarten Mishigas
Choosing the right kindergarten
How many kindergartens should we apply to?
When are kindergarten open houses?

Related Pages

The Private Kindergarten Mishigas

March 2008

I would like to hear from other parents who just went through that harrowing experience of private Kindergarten applications. We applied to 5 (5!) schools, got into only one (not our first choice by far), and waitlisted on the rest. 2 other parents from the same preschool got in nowhere at all--and most of their letters were not just waitlists, but outright rejections. These are children of parents who are generally well-educated (a couple of graduate degrees amongst us) and care about education. Are our kids just duds? Was the preschool (a new one) maybe not preparing the kids for these assessments? Are other schools specifically prepping the kids? Is this normal? Or was it a particularly grueling year out there with unusually fierce competition? What happened to other people out there? No More Fingernails

I think I can really understand your feelings, at least in part. Our end results were different, but the whole independent school application process (and even more the financial aid process) left me feeling so yucky in so many ways. My heart broke to think that going through that process would make you question whether your child is a ''dud.''

We applied to four private schools in Oakland and Berkeley, focusing on those that consider themselves progressive and developmental. My son was offered spots at all four. I know that one of them is considered difficult to get into, but I have no idea about the others. He goes to a very small, play-based preschool, and there was no specific preparation for the assessments at all. I called them ''playdates'' and explained that he would get to check out the schools, and I tried to ease any anxiety he would have. I also tried to schedule the assessments on the same day as his best friend so that he would feel more comfortable. As far as I could tell, they were looking for basic kindergarten readiness at the assessments (ability to follow instructions, sit and focus on a task, relate to peers, communicate and so forth).

I have no idea what the experience has been like for those applying to the schools that are considered more college prep (Head Royce, Bentley, etc.) since we did not go that route. Perhaps there was more competition at those?

Even having been accepted at the schools we were interested in, I still found MANY aspects of the process distasteful and off- putting. It has been incredibly draining.

Thank you for your post, our outcome was somewhat worse, but I appreciate your naming of the process. We applied to our two favorite local developmental schools. We received a wait-list letter from one and an outright rejection from the other, which is especially painful as I see the latter now posting on BPN with two K openings. The process felt more emotional than my graduate school application, perhaps because this was for our son. Even just the requirement to negotiate so much time off work with my boss, for the pre-tours and the parent tours and then kid visits, was no small feat. I have to admire your endurance for making it through the process with even more schools!

I realize that it must be a difficult balancing act for the schools too, but some of the late stage event / open house invitations that we received from the school that rejected us may more considerately have been reserved for families they were planning to accept/consider. Painful process for me. Anon

Choosing the right kindergarten

Nov 2007

My daughter will be entering kindergarten next fall. With all of the different choices out there, I feel overwhelmed. Does anyone have any good suggestions of how I can find out more about my options and find the school that's the right fit for my daughter? I've done some research on my own and will do observations etc., but I'd like to know if there's a place or publication that will give me more information about finding the right match. We live in Albany, I teach in Berkeley so I have both public and private school options. Help?? Anon.

Our family is also going through the agonizing process of choosing a kindergarten for our daughter. We still aren't sure what we will do, but we got some good direction from attending a workshop by Anne Bauer which covered public vs. private, educational approaches, temperamental factors, and gave a lot of specific info about the application process. It really helped with our anxiety! She will be offering more workshops as part of Grassroots Support for Growing Families. I don't know the dates, but the number to call for more info is 510-395-4221. The other women who make up Grassroots are also really terrific. Good luck in your search, also searching

How many kindergartens should we apply to?

Sept 2006

Hello,
I know this is kind of a crass question but in facing the private school application process for kindergarten in Fall of '07, I can't help but wonder how many schools people typically apply to and/or recommend applying to? How competitive is this process anyway?? My husband and I are already a bit aghast at the prospect of private school (We seriously cannot figure out how anybody pays for it! How would we? Who knows?)and truly hope to get a decent Oakland public school in the lottery (not necessarily one of the supposed ''best''). But we feel like we need to have a back-up in case that doesn't come through. At the same time, we don't want to spend a small fortune on application fees, nor get totally caught up in the school crazies. Any advice on how to approach the private school application process from more of a ''only as a back-up'' approach? Is such a thing possible? Also, everyone says that financial aid is available, even for more ''affluent'' people, but what does that really mean? We certainly are not affluent by Bay Area standards, but we could never claim to be poor either (thank goodness). Lastly, has anyone elected to have their child sit out kindergarten in lieu of attending either a poor public school or unaffordable private school? Thanks so much
Feeling quite flummoxed

I have a son in private school and a daughter in public school-- feel pretty experienced in both sides of the equation. Regarding the application process--my advice is to only apply to those schools you would really consider. If that's only two schools--as it was in our case--only apply to two. Remember that your child will be ''assessed'' at each school you apply to-- and while this is made as non-stressful as possible it's certainly not easy for any 4 or 5 year old to do repeatedly. I think there is a great myth about how competitive it all is. While there are certainly a few schools that are VERY hard to get into without legacy or sibling advantage, there are also lots of schools thathave lots of spaces! And they are often the best schools!

I would also strongly encourage you to consider the public school option. You can always change your mind down the line if it doesn't work out! We love our daughter's school and in some ways regret not sending our son in the beginning. Good luck! Both public and private

I don't know specifically about OUSD but most school districts typically tell you of your school assignment late in the summer, possibly even days or a few weeks before the first day of school. Whereas with private schools you are notified of acceptance in March, and then have just one week to accept and put in a deposit to hold that space. So ask yourself whether it would be worth losing your deposit to hold a space at a private school you like. There will likely be openings at a few private schools once you know your public school, but I think that would be too late to get financial aid for the year. Our daughter goes to Walden in Berkeley which is a teacher collective where the costs are kept down by being a collective and by parents doing work hours at the school for tuition reduction- still it's expensive but less than most of the others. The larger schools do offer more aid to middle income families. BTW our family loves Walden; and yet it has been very hard to pay for, we have accumulated a lot of credit card debt and not taken major vacations for years to do it, mostly it has been worth it, but not easy. We only applied to 2 and got in both; I think the # of apps. to do would depend on the perceived prestigiousness of the schools you are applying to. anon

Like you, my husband and I considered private school as a backup only. Frankly, the financial aspect was daunting (who wants a second mortgage to pay for 9 months of school for a gulp kindergartner?).

My advice is to visit as many private AND public schools as you can before deciding which one to apply to. Each school has very distinct personalities and philosophies and it's true that you need to find the one or ones that fit your child's needs. After visiting only 3, I discovered that nothing can compare to an actual visit. Seeing the classrooms and playgrounds, viewing the resources and even at times experiencing the teachers with their students gives a parent a strong feeling for whether or not the school is a good fit.

While I can't speak for all private schools, it was explained to me at one that we visited, that all applications are first reviewed and students accepted or waitlisted. Only after the students have been identified does the school then look at financial aid applications. Anything from $1000 and up was available according to need and fund availability.

The application process for both public and private schools is crazy. Assessments and questionnaires, self-portraits and educational backgrounds -- it's like I was entering college again -- and for a 5 year old? It seemed insane.

In the end, the lottery treated us unkindly and we did not get placed into any of the 7 Oakland public schools we had listed. We were accepted to and are now attending Redwood Day School. While the cost is high and believe me, it's a stretch each month, my daughter is ecstatic. The resources available to parents, students, and faculty is tremendous and the philosophy is echoed with every teacher at the school. It's like having a first child -- the process is painful, but in the end, after the decision is made, you make the best of the situation. Public or private is not the issue. Finding the right school for your little one is the priority and there are plenty of options to choose from. No doubt, it will be school crazies (particularly for the first time parents) -- but whatever you and your husband decide will be the right decision for you.

Been There, Done That
abigail

June 2006

Hi, there, I know it is kind of early but I cannot not worrying--our child is going to go to kindergarten next year and it seems we have a big project coming to research the school. I would like to ask a couple beginner's questions:
1. how many schools do people usually apply (I assume he may have to go to a private school as local public school is not of the satisfactory quality)?
2. any idea the ratio of applicant vs admitees for the private schools around east bay? what are the standards for schools to admit their students? what if a child is rejected by all the schools?
I know these may be silly but it seems a highly stressful procedure--so many what-ifs. Any response would be deeply appreciated. Thank you. anon

The whole process of applying to private schools for kindergarten is surprisingly stressful. The ratios of applicants to those admitted varies by school -- some are just more sought after than others. I looked at 8 schools within a certain geographic area -- I was simply not willing to drive too far or on certain traffic filled highways. I ended up applying to 4 of the 8 schools I toured. I had one clear first choice school, but felt like the others were all good choices for our family should we not get the first choice. I felt reasonably sure we'd get into at least one of the four. I tried to keep an open mind throughout the process and I also took it pretty seriously. The competition is fierce at certain schools. As it turned out, we did get our first choice. Frankly, I've never heard of a child not getting in anyhere -- if you only apply to one or two you risk that, I suppose, though I also know people who only applied to one and got in. We felt like our public school was not an option and did not want September to roll around without a school and that caused us to apply to more rather than fewer.

My advice would be tour as many as you have time for -- they are very different from each other and your preconceived ideas my turn out to be inaccurate. The good news is that we have some truly wonderful private schools in the east bay. Good luck anon

From what I recall and have seen since we went through this process 7 years ago- people usually apply to 3-5 schools, and there are usually 3-5 times as many applicants as there are slots. It makes it feel competitive, but if you look at the math there are really enough spots to go around. Don't freak out- most likely there will be a good match at one school- they'll pick you and you'll pick them Good luck!

I don't know how many private schools you should apply to, but I recommend that you talk to parents in your community who have children at a variety of public schools and get their views on those schools. There may actually be public schools in your city that do meet your and your child's needs. Get direct information; not heresay from families that don't have kids there. Get phone numbers for friends of your friends with public school kids and call and ask the parents for the strengths and challenges of their kid's school. Then pick a couple of public schools in your city and do the enrollment paperwok for those (It's free!). If nothing else, these can be your fallback schools, and you will have educated yourself with first-hand information in the mean time. Also, one never knows when they may no longer be able to afford private school and need transfer their children to a public school. It is good to have the information, just in case - Mom

When are kindergarten open houses?

Aug 2006

Hi! I have a 4 year old son who will start Kindergarten in Fall 2007, was wondering if anyone knew about any open-houses (both private and public) that will be happening anytime soon? Any help or direction is appreciated. THANKS! Lorena

Google search for your district - Oakland or Berkeley or whatever - then go on the site, jot down numbers and start making calls. Some of the schools announce their Open Houses on the BPN, some don't. You'll need to do the research to find out for sure. It's a journey and you're just starting out. Unfortunately, you've got to start by calling and keeping a list.. Been there.

For BUSD they usually have opprotunities for day time visits and scheduled evening open houses early in the calendar year. However, to be sure of the dates and times, you should call the BUSD Enrollment Office (I think). They are at (510) 644-6504 anon

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