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Kids Talking Too Much
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Preschool-aged Kids >
Kids Talking Too Much
Our oldest son almost never stops talking. It is wonderful how verbal
and imaginative he is; describing things he sees, how they work, what
games he plays, what just happened, what is happening in the book we
are reading, etc etc etc. If he is not talking himself he asks us to
talk - covering all the topics just listed. But I am EXHAUSTED! I
don't want to tune him out and I feel bad asking him to stop because I
don't want to squelch his outgoing nature, or stunt the imagination he
is building, but I cannot keep up with the current level of
conversation he demands. Sometimes in the car I can tell him I need a
break from talking and suggest he talks to himself, his baby brother,
or his stuffed animal. This actually works OK in the car but not at
home. It must be tiring for him too, to keep this chatter going, but
he does not seem tired. Argh!
All Worn Out
I had to laugh when I read your post. I could have written it
myself. I have a four and a half year old son that never, and I
mean never, stops talking. And he doesn't talk quietly. His
little brother seems to have the same trait (although he's only
two so this could change) and there are days it just feels like a
constant stream of noise. He is either telling me about his
imaginary life, asking questions, giving me his opinions, or just
yammering away as he goes about his day.
How have I dealt with this? I guess that like you, I don't want
to do anything to hinder his imagination and ability to question
his world. I also know that I am someone who has always been
sensitive to noise (I don't like the TV or stereo loud and I am
not a huge talker) so I am probably more sensitive to it than
others might be.
At times, I do say, ''I love all your wonderful questions, but
right now let's enjoy some quiet time so Mommy can concentrate on
making dinner. Think of two questions or stories you'd like to
tell me and I'd love to hear them when we sit down to dinner...''
or something like that.
More than anything...I remind myself that the day will come that
he will be a moody teenager, and might not talk to me at all, and
then I will miss his little rambling terribly and fondly remember
when I was the center of his world. To me, the quiet when my
boys are away from me is a reminder that someday I will really
Mom to a little chatterbox
Afternoon preschool was my savior. It breaks up my day with my
chatterbox just perfectly...
How I wish this were my problem. My three and a half year old rarely talks and when
he does it is the same three or four things over and over again. My child has a
developmental issue that makes it difficult to communicate. I see many three year olds
at the park that talk away like your child and I long to have that experience. It kills me
what parents take for granted. Count your blessings and indulge your child.
Either this is be thankful, or be careful what you wish for. When my daughter
was 3 she rarely talked, and never to anyone outside her family. She went through
years of speech therapy. How I wished she would talk more. Now at 10 she is a constant
nonstop perfect talker. She drives me lovingly crazy! Well, guess I got what I wanted
My sweet wonderful three year old WILL NOT STOP TALKING...ever.
In the car, she will keep saying my name. I will respond. She
has nothing to say. She says my name again. And it keeps going
around and around. At home she keeps asking questions -- most of
which she knows the answers to already. She'll talk about
anything and everything. I realize that this is penance for
being overly concerned that my older daughter was such a late
talker. But, any suggestions on how to redirect her verbal
enthusiasm so that there are a few moments during my day where I
am no being talked at?
She is with me all but two mornings a week. I do give her plenty
one-on-one attention. We have plenty of real conversations
throughout the day. And, next year she is going five afternoons
to a Montessori school just so that I can get some downtime as
she has dropped her nap. She has an exuberant BIG personality,
which I love, but I just need some downtime with either her
directing her attention elsewhere or me being physically removed
from her. My spouse is on the road a lot, so I don't get much
help from him (though today, I did call him and she walked around
the house for half an hour talking with him.) Thoughts?
-done with the chatter
Have you tried children's books or CDs on tape? Maybe she'll
become so interested in the stories that she'll keep her mouth
closed for a while. There's usually a good selection at public
You are not alone! Who knows why some of our preschoolers talk so so SO
only practical thing that I have done is set ''NO talking'' times in the
car. I tell her that I
just want to focus on driving and listen to my music. I turn the music up
to a non-
conversation volume. Initially she would still try to talk, but she
caught on. I made it
clear that this was what I ''needed.'' and didn't make it about her. I
don't do this
everytime we get in the car, just when she's super talkative and I'm not.
mom who's heard it all
Sorry to say but this is entirely normal developmentally in my
opinion! 3 is a chatterbox age. She will get quieter later. It
does get tiring being talked at all the time. It's good you're
getting some time starting in the Fall. Until then, make sure
you nourish yourself with regular time to yourself to recharge.
Our four year old daughter never stops talking. It starts the minute she wakes up in
the morning, continues until she takes a nap, then starts up again after nap and
goes non-stop until bedtime. It is exhausting and annoying. She constantly
interrupts and becomes frustrated when someone else is talking and she is asked to
wait. She has been extremely verbal since one years old and is very bright and
articulate but we are having real battles over how much she should be allowed to
talk. She even goes into her room and reads books out loud when we are not
available to talk to her. I don't want to inhibit her expressing herself but there
needs to be some kind of limit as to how long she holds the floor. Anyone have a
similar experience that can offer some suggestions?
mom with tired ears
I was a *very* talkative preschooler. I have memories of my
mother telling me to ''be quiet'' and of her telling me ''you talk
too much''; I also remember when I was young her going into the
living room in the afternoon with a book and telling me to leave
her alone for a specified amount of time. As a teenager, I
remember my sister telling me that I needed to listen more and
not interrupt. And you know what? I think that all
this ''intervention'' was good. I am still an expressive, lively,
adult, so it didn't ''break my spirit'' to be told to quiet down
and listen. And I think that I am a good listener and know when
to reserve my opinions and thoughts.
-formerly Chatty Cathy
All this talk is nothing unusual for a 4 year old. It's a
natural part of their development. Talk to any mom of a four yr
old and they'll tell you the same thing, and that it also
drives them crazy. If your daughter goes in her room and reads
a book out loud to herself, consider that a break for you! My 4
yr old talks all the time too, even when engaging in imaginary
play by himself, in the bath playing with his toys, or riding
his bike. It is non-stop. I've learned to tune it out, or to
redirect him to play with something by himslef so at least he's
not talking directly at me so my head can get a break.
Especially since he's now in the talkative AND asking ''why'' all
the time phase!
Please don't make your child feel bad for talking so much nor
should you try to repress her talking, she really can't help
it. But what you can do is be consistent and firm about not
interrupting other people, or waiting their turn to talk. (It
is also developmentaly appropriate that they can't wait too
long for their turn.) For example, if I'm having a conversation
w/ someone and my son interrupts, I'll tell him that I'm
talking and he needs to wait. Then I turn back to the other
person and we talk until there is a good stopping point at
which point I ask my son what he wanted and I thank him for
waiting. Sometimes he keeps talking but I ignore him. He's
getting the hang of it tho.
I also have an teenager, so enjoy this 4 year old chatter while
it lasts. They say some pretty imaginative and funny things.
Then they become surly teenagers who only seem to talk when
they want something or to complain...
My seven year old talks constantly. And not about relevant things either. This
morning I was trying to listen to the radio for just a few minutes and she talked
right over it about hotels having comfortable beds and why do they have maids...
This is not a new topic. They usually aren't. She just talks for the sake of talking. Am
I expecting to much to have any time where I'm not listening to her drone on? I am
not the type of person who can tune out distractions so if there are words I attend
to them. Asking her to stop talking doesn't seem to have any effect. In fact we once
played a game on the way to Tahoe where she earned a penny for every minute that
she was quiet. Her total earned on the drive there was 17"! Any suggestions for
how others have dealt with chatty cathys is much appreciated.
I giggled when I read your post. I was a huge talker when I was
little. It was just my mom and I, and boy could I talk her ear
off. There is even a commerical now (for Volvo?) that even
makes fun of this lovely chatter phenemenon.
Whatever you do, don't make her feel too self-aware. Bribing
her to keep quiet isn't a good message either. My son can chat
away over and over again about the same things, but just take
it in stride, and find perhaps a new topic. Instead of the
dreaded hotel/maid debate, remind her about a vacation and ask
her some questions -- what was her favorite part of the trip?
Where would she like to go if she could go anywhere? That sort
of thing. She'll pipe down eventually, so just take it in
stride and enjoy the conversation. Heck, in a few years she'll
be a teen and won't want to talk to you at all! ;)
My middle son is also 7 and a nonstop talker. What I do with
him is I frankly tell him I need some quiet time. That
sometimes I'm just not in the mood to hear discussion. When I'm
PMSg, I frankly tell him I'm not feeling well and I'm getting
headaches and I need quiet and he gets it. I think if you're
frank with her and communicate your feelings and your thoughts
without making her feel bad, I think she'll get it that it's not
always necessary to talk. Maybe if your child observes you
simply listening to the birds chirping or observing you viewing
the hummingbirds drinking their nectar, you can place your
finger over your lips and display to her the beauty of silence.
Mom of nonstop talker, too
Hi there. I am a stay at home mom of a 3 1/2 year old boy and
a 4 month old girl. The 3 1/2 year old does not attend
preschool yet but is quite bright and is very verbal for his
age. Although I'm proud of his verbal abilities, I am going
crazy with him constantly talking to me all day. Not only does
he talk, but he's always asking me questions. I do respond to
him and explain things he's curious about. But, there are only
so many ''why?'' questions I can answer before I'm out of
answers, tired, or annoyed. Gosh! In typing, this, I feel like
a bad, selfish mother, but I know I'm not. I care about his
mental, emotional, and social development, and I know that
communicating with him is an important contributor to it. But
at the same time, I feel like I'm gonna lose it! I wonder if
I'm being selfish or impatient. Does anyone else have this
issue, and if so, what do you do to keep yourself sane while
encouraging your child's communication skills? Thanks!
All Talked Out
Oh my -- I know this so very well -- and I'm sure a lot of other parents
do too! There is something about the 3-year-old child and his incessant
desire to (a) know how and why everything works and (b) have
conversations with his parent, that can wear even a chatterbox like
myself out. Part of the issue is that these children really enjoys
talking with parents, but have a relatively limited range of
Asking questions like ''why'' is one of the few ways they know to ensure
that the conversation keeps going.
One of the absolute best strategies I have discovered for keeping myself
sane was to answer selected whys with ''Why do you think?'' Especially
when I was running out of answers and/or it seemed like the questions
were as much a desire to have a conversation as to know specific
information. This keeps the conversation going, but takes the ball out
of your court -- plus it enables you to learn interesting things about
your child's thought processes.
It sounds like it's time for preschool! Or at least a babysitter that
comes regularly and gives you a break. I don't think there is anything
you can do to stop a 3 year old from asking questions and I don't think
you really want to. It will be great for him to build a relationship
with another adult. A college student, or even a high school student,
could be ideal for this.
You are a great mother! Communicating is important to his development,
but so is learning to read others and their level of interest at the
moment, and spending some time amusing himself. Don't hesitate to set a
time when you don't want to talk. During the little one's nap? Put on
some nice music that
*you* like and find relaxing, and tell him that you are tired of talking
right now and will be resting your voice and mind during the music. He
should play quietly (near you or not, depending) until the music is
over. You could train him to this in a couple of weeks of daily
practice, and this habit will make your life better (therefore by
defition your childrens') for years! And will be good for him, too. Even
young children benefit from some quiet time.
Boy can I relate! I'm two years ahead of where you are, but when I read
just the title of your post I knew what your question would be. My
son's mantra from about 2-1/2 to 3-1/3 (and recurring regularly) was
''Why mom, why?'' as if the answers to his questions were essential to
his overall well being. I loved it, but I was exhausted by it. Plus I
didn't always have the answers.
You say your son is not yet in preschool--will he be soon? I ask
because preschool has been great for both of us. It gave me a break
from the talking and gave him different resources for answers.
Plus--and I think this is another important thing about preschool--it
gave him something beyond his intellectual curiosity to focus on. In
preschool there are lots of friends, lots of relationships to work out,
lots of singing and snack time rituals and all kinds of other
activities. Because of this, I am very glad that we chose a
developmental preschool. He was allowed to be a preschooler and to work
on other things besides intellectual matters.
My son's curiosity remains, as do his questions, but they are more fun
for me because they are not constant. And I was just thinking the other
day how much more I have learned for having to look up answers to his
If you are not planning on preschool, or if the time you are going to
send him to school is still some months off, there are things you can
do. I would often just tell my son I could not talk for ten minutes.
Sometimes he would stare at me while I lay close-eyed on the floor, but
somehow that time off of talking did allow for the kind of emotional
break I needed. Also, we became great fans of the DK books, those with
lots of pictures on specific subjects and other books in the nonfiction
section of the library. We were often reading books way beyond his age,
but he loved having resources for information. My son still pours over
them, and yes, often I have had to read every word in them, but books
are again a different focus for answers.
You know your son's social abilities (lots of early talking) and
curiosity are great strengths for you both. And when you can find time
out for yourself--or even time out for quiet--I'm sure you won't feel so
exhausted by them.
I hear you, All Talked Out!, my son is the same age, and similarly
verbal. (I also have an infant). It seems that from the time he was
able to, he has talked incessantly. Most of the time, I enjoy our
banter, and appreciate the window it gives me into his world. From time
to time, however, I do feel I'll go crazy. I notice my mind wandering
some days, and when I re-focus, he's still talking. He'll implore
''Mom, Mom, I need to tell you something'' if he notices I'm not
focusing on him. I have had some success by implementing a few minutes
of quiet time. I have noticed that as he's gotten older, his ''why''
questions have been increasingly replaced with chatter. I used to just
tell him that we'd used up all of our whys for a while, and will have
some more time for why questions later.
Not sure I'm much help, but I don't think you're alone. It's the
blessing and the curse of the curious, verbal preschooler!
mom of a chatterbox
Send him to preschool. Both you and he will be happier and enjoy your
time together more if he gets more group social time outside the home.
Parent of preschooler
Your son is plenty old enough for pre-school, and it sounds like he is
desperate for lots of communication and interaction. Is preschool not
an option? If not, perhaps you can find a playgroup with other kids his
age and a little older, so he can have a chance to practice his
developing skills on people (big and small) other than you.
Though I haven't yet needed to use this on my 21 month old son, I used
this trick when my nephews were probably 9 and 4. On car rides, out at
dinner, etc their maniacal talking to me and over each other, on top of
the never ending, ''Why? But Why? And WHY?'' drove me nuts. I gave
them a certain number of ''Why?''s they could ask in a set amount of
time (10 in 30 minutes, say) and made it a contest where they'd get some
sort of reward. Part of the game was my asking them, ''Are you SURE
this question is worth it?'' They got good at it. When your babe is
older, you can try the competetive ''Quiet Game'' (who can stay quiet
longer and win the ''prize''). More than once, Auntie was the big
loser, which they loved.
I was a ''Why'' child also. In fact, I'm a why adult. I have a very
curious nature and want to know everything about people and situations,
but learned how to carefully space out my questions over time so people
don't feel so grilled.
When I spent time with Grandma as a young child, after answering
questions for awhile, she'd simply say ''That's enough questions for
now.'' Apparently, I held out as long as I could
(2-3 minutes average), and then started up again. If she was ready to
answer more, she did. If she wasn't, she would repeat her boundary. You
can try other responses too, such as ''Why do you think?'' (builds his
reasoning skils - might also give you a good laugh with what he comes up
with) Or, ask him to think about things for awhile and tell you later
what he thinks the answer is. This is a good ploy to buy you some time
while he may be totally silent.
Ok, so I have a question for ya - WHY do you think it's selfish to not
wish for interrogation all day? It's okay to want a break. It's okay to
set boundaries that leave you more comfortable spending time with your
child - perhaps he'll also learn through this, how to moderate his
grilling. I did!
I have a 3 year old boy who never stops talking or asking questions as
well but the difference with me is I also have a 4
1/2 year old boy with a severe language disorder. He isn't capable of
having conversations beyond his immediate needs. So this is actually the
first time that I am experiencing any sort of interesting dialogue with
my own child. It's music to my ears, I eat up every second of it (well
maybe not every second, I'm not a saint or anything) and am so thankful
that I have the opportunity to experience this. I'm not at all writing
this to you to make you feel bad, I promise, and I understand that
everything is relative but I do want to give you some perspective that
might help you feel better about it and get you through the day.
I was in a similar situation until my son began pre-school.
For him, he is a very active and curious child (as most tend to
be) and needed constant interaction or to be doing something.
Once he began school, he began to be able to play on his own at home
without needing so much attention from me. And I have more energy to
give to him. You may want to consider some regular classes, or even
school a few mornings a week for him.
School also has given my son the space he needs to go free with his
imagination in a setting that supports that.
I am right there with you. The ENDLESS talking! Sometimes it helps if
I play music in the background while we are doing our daily thing. He
has something else to listen to and doesn't feel the need to contribute
his thoughts. It also helps him concentrate if he is working on a
project. For my own sanity, I do not always actively listen to him ...
sometimes I say ''mm-hm'' and ''uh-huh'' as he jabbers on while I load
the dishwasher, etc. Not that I tune him out while he's talking about
something important! Lastly, when I really can't take anymore, I say to
him, ''You know, my ears are really tired now and I need some quiet. I
can't listen to you right now. Can we talk later?'' and he is usually
OK with that. Good luck; I feel for you.
Silence is golden
They have a big spurt in energy around 3. Your child is ready for
preschool, or some kind of organized activity. That way he'll have other
people to talk to (and you'll get a break.) anon
You are not being selfish or impatient, you are being normal! I had a
chatterbox too, and although I worked full-time, she could drive me
crazy on weekends with the never-ending blather. I came up with a few
tricks: try telling him that your ears are ''full'' and you really
can't listen for a while, or that you need to think about something so
you need quiet for a while, or put on music to listen to. I also think
it's perfectly fine not to actually give serious or lengthy responses to
every random question a small child can come up with -- sometimes they
don't really expect an answer, and you can get away with a non-
committal ''hmm'' which indicates that you heard him, but doesn't
require much effort on your part. And unless you're strongly opposed to
it, I'd say send him to pre-school or playgroups so he can practice on
other people & give you a break.
Can't stand all the talk either.
One thing people do to get a break, that's good for both people involved
When my 3-year-old son interrupted me at the computer once, I just
started typing verbatim his stream-of-consciousness talking, for about a
page. This has become one of my most precious momentos of his childhood.
We still read it and laugh about it.
When I was about 3, I remember being shocked when my mother said to me,
''You know, just because a thought comes into your head doesn't mean
that you have to say it.'' It was an entirely new concept to me, but a
very valuable lesson in socializing any child.
mother of communicative 15 year old
I'm sorry, but I had to laugh when I read your message, because it is
exactly how I felt with both of my kids. Sometimes I would turn to the
wall where they couldn't see me and silently yell ''shut up!!!''
Actually what worked well for me was gently telling them when they were
in a good listening mode, that mommy loves to talk with you, and loves
your questions, but that mommy needs her thinking time, and that when I
need it I will let them know. And that I will set the timer, and as
soon as it buzzes you can ask me anything you want! I made it clear
that it was not a punishment but a big grown-up way to help mommy. And
then when the buzzer went off I tried to turn my attention to them fully
for a while. I started with 5 minutes and got longer. Anyway seemed to
I am wondering how parents deal with extremely talkative
children. My 5-1/2 year-old son is a HUGE talker. He goes on
and on and does not pick up on subtle cues that I am
pre-occupied, for example in the grocery store trying to read a
label or think about what I need. When I explain that I am not
able to focus on what he's saying at that moment--that he can
tell me later, he ignores the comment, and continues with his
story. I do appreciate that he still enjoys talking to me and
that he has so much to say, it's just that there are times that I
definitely need my mind to myself to complete a thought! I've
tried asking him to draw a picture of it, I've tried
acknowledging what he's said and asking him to tell me the rest
later. When my mind is free, I offer to write down his stories
so that he does get the experience of really engaging. Nothing
works. He just goes on and on, in excruciating detail. I swear,
he could tell a story that is like 25 minutes long, and he's not
satisfied until he's stated every last detail. My husband tells
me that his mother perfected the ''pretend to be listening
technique'' (i.e., well-timed ''oh's'' and ''mm hmm's'' without
really engaging)with all three of her children and suggests this
approach. I just can't do it though--it seems so unfair. I
know that some might suggest that incessant talking is a sign of
ADHD, and, yes, probably my son meets the criteria, but I'm not
interested in a diagnosis but a practical approach for handling
i have a son that shows leanings towards being a younger
version of one of those, and i know for a fact that my husband
was one of those in his youth, well a sweet one that would go
into excruciating detail about his dreams upon rising...and they
are both just fine. no adhd, just a mind that has a predilection
for incredible detail about topics that interest him. he's also
quite bright and very industrious and productive. all good
qualities. i wouldn't worry about it, but perhaps get him a
small voice activated recorder, and he can make tapes of his
thoughts. an audio journal all his own. that may give you a
loves to chat too
Apparently I drove my mother to a similar level of distraction
with incessant chatter at about the same age; she started setting
a timer for 5-15 minutes (working to greater times, I think)
during which no talking was allowed. I haven't got advice on
enforcing the no talking, since my parents were spankers and you
almost certainly aren't; you could try whatever discipline
technique works best for you at this stage. much luck!
Sounds like my 5 1/2 year old daughter and your 5 1/2 year old son should get
together! My daughter's talk includes singing, and making repititive noises and
phrases as well as scolding her imaginary friend. She too is very creative in her
imaginative play and stories. Getting her involved in music and movement classes
has been a good thing. I wouldn't chalk it up to ADD/ADHD at this point unless
there are other indicators. I'm told that extroverts need to talk out loud to think.
I don't think gently suggesting that your son tell you later is going to work, 5 year
olds are too egocentric. I tell my daughter that my ears are full and that I need her
to be quiet for say 5 minutes. She is responding very well to positive
reinforcement... we give her tokens when she is caught doing desired behavior and
then she can cash them in when she gets enough at the end of the week for
playdates, video time or special outings. She can also lose them by doing
undesirable behavior. You obviously need to agree on what the behaviors are that
you want to change and how many tokens a playdate, etc. cost.
I think my daughter's learning a little about addition and subtraction this way too.
We also used to use time outs but they are no longer effective. I take quiet breaks in
my bedroom too! I keep my shopping very simple when shopping with my
daughter, focusing on coupons, ingredient labels and the like is impossible. You
might find the book ''Raising Your Spirited Child'' by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka very
interesting. By the way, I'll never forget a drive to Tahoe when my daughter was 4.
We played a game in which she could earn a penny for every full minute she was
quiet. She had earned 17 cents by the time we got there! Good luck.
Mom of a chatty cathy
Maybe you'll just tell me this is normal... Our 4 year old daughter constatnly
hums, sings and talks. At times it's more than I can bear but I don't want to
damage her self esteem by asking her to please shut up! Is this normal for this
age? Are we looking at ADD/ADHD behavior? Any advice from parents who've
- Longing for occassional peace and quiet
I too have a 4 yr old who is doing this although I'm beginning to
think it is totally normal and I just have to adjust to the fact
that I have kids. (ie. those days of peace and quiet are few are
far between .) I do look forward to hearing other responses to
this though. Sometimes I think he does it to keep himself
company but who knows, I do realize that once I get down and play
with him he's less likely to hum around my feet ( just wants me
to play with him while I'm trying to make dinner for example. )
And when I'm particularly stressed out he seems to do it more or
louder and I think it's him picking up on my stress. Anyway, no
real advice here just saying I can relate .
My younger daughter is like this. It certainly can drive you
crazy, but I think it's normal for some particularly lively
kids. I sometimes will say to her ''My ears are full, I need you
to stop talking/humming/singing for a little while.'' She
usually responds well to this, maybe since it's presented as a
need or problem I have that she can help me with, rather than
something she's doing wrong that she needs to correct. It also
got much better when she was around 5 or 6 and I got her a
walkman to listen to CDs on. Sometimes she'll suddently start
singing along, but for the most part she just listens, and it
provides her with the aural stimulation she craves without
bothering anyone else.
Sounds like your 4-year-old is happy, happy, happy! And
content. And imaginative. Don't you ever hum a diddy when
having a good day?
Both my kids (7 and 4) wander around singing outloud, humming
and talking to themselves while playing deep in their own
worlds. I love to hear them, because I know that soon enough
the weight of the world will persuade them to stop. And when
they're teens they might not even want to talk to me, God
forbid let me hear them sing.
Relax and enjoy.
My kids never stop
sounds perfectly normal to me. being a ''silence is golden'' type
of person I have two thoughts. first you can try to direct her
noises into something you both can share like a song or a
listen-response game when you're in the mood. the other thought
is to get yourself a pair of soft ear plugs. they don't block
all the sound but at least it would make her play noises easier
to tune out
I think it's probably pretty normal for a 4yo to be chattering
nonstop. All the 4yo's I've ever babysat have been similar. My
mom tells me I drove her crazy for 2 years at that age too, and
I seem to have turned out fine. It won't last forever, and its a
sign of a healthy, inquisitive, active mind.
still a chatterbox
Your 4 yo could have sensory integration issues. My ADHD
son is highly active and very athletic so I didn't think he
''fit'' the description for this problem. When my sister-in-law
visited us and noticed that he was highly sensitive to touch
and I noted that his eyes had always been highly sensitive
to light , I decided to follow her advice and have him tested
by an occupational therapist. It was the best thing I have
ever done for him! I have learned more about practical
things he can do when he just HAS to fidgit. Yes, constant
humming or talking can be a sign that your daughter needs
more sensory stimulation with her mouth. Chewing gum or
chewing on a straw can give her a more acceptable means
of working her facial muscles. It can be very frustrating to try
to explain this to teachers as they want to label it ADD
behavior and have you use drugs to alleviate the problem.
My advise is to discuss this with a specialist who can look at
your daughter's entire behavior pattern and help you decide
what is truely going to help her. I am sure there are many
good occupational therapists in the East Bay. I was told
about Gail Gordon , in Orinda. She was wonderful and
informative from our first meeting and my son loved working
with her! I often see my son's behavior as a huge jigsaw
puzzle and every bit of information I acquire gives me a new
piece of the puzzle. The more pieces you have, the better
you will be able to see the whole picture and be prepared to
help your daughter to understand her differences and how
to manage them.
Yes, my 4.5 year-old girl constantly talks, sings, sings non-word
sounds, and generally makes noise. My father (her grandfather)
commented that ''she doesn't like dead air.'' Yes, it sometimes
drives me crazy. I don't know if it's ''normal'' or not, but I'm
not worried about ADD, because she has a long attention span for
activities she enjoys. (For example, she has a long attention
span for signing to herself!) If you'd like, we can get them
together so they can talk to each other, which my daughter also
hello, what your child does in her free time sounds wonderful!
enjoy this in her while it lasts. before you know it, you will
be missing these wonderful tunes...
I know what you mean. My daughter is 5 and a half and NEVER stops
talking. I am not kidding she talks or sings ALL the time. I do ask her to
stop talking. I explain that I love to hear what she has to say but I need
quiet time for adult thoughts. She is a great storyteller and very smart.
She does not have ADD because of her lack of impulsivity and her
ability to sit still for long periods; say a long chapter in a book. It is
exhausting though. My newest idea is to get her a hand held tape
recorder for her to tell her stories into. I am sometimes short with her if I
am really busy but explaining that I need to have quiet thoughts usually
gives me two or three minutes.
Hush little baby.
Your 4 year old sounds delightful! I only wish I had more
tapes or videos of my now 9 year old singing or talking. Why
not give her a little tape recorder, and ask her to make some
recordings for you? This time with your daughter will be
just a memory sooner than you think.
My daughter, almost 4, has been a ''busy blabber'', i.e., in
constant ''verbal motion'', since around 4 months. She, too,
hums, sings, makes up stories with sound effects, and chatters
incessantly, both to me and herself. I recently read (and cut
out and posted on my fridge!) a piece from a newspaper advice
column entitled, ''Preschoolers talk to themselves for a
reason.'' It says that the majority of preschoolers' verbal
comments are directed at themselves, and that this is part of
their cognitive development. Verbalizing aloud, or ''private
speech,'' helps them to process their thoughts, especially when
facing difficulties with a task. My favorite part is
this: ''Young children who emply private speech during a
challenging activity thend to do better than age-mates who
don't.'' Now, as for singing, humming, and constantly haranguing
poor old mom, I guess we'll have to see!
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