Terminating a Pregnancy
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Terminating a Pregnancy
I recently terminated a pregnancy at 13 weeks due to major chromosomal
abnormalities. This has been a tough time for me and I am looking for ways to heal
physically and mentally. I've seen a therapist several times which has been good, but
I'm looking for something more holistic. Since I was sick for most of the pregnancy I
also feel depleated nutritionally. I would love any suggestions (yoga, books, body
work and treatments, meditation, retreats, practitioners names, etc). I'm in SF and
any resources there or close by would be helpful. I am also looking for ways to build
up my confidence and optimism about conceiving in the future. I have been blessed
with a wonderful, healthy toddler and there is no history of chromosomal
abnormalities in either of our family trees but I am quite scared of the future. I've
put off testing to see if either my husband or I are carries of a DNA abnormality but
at some point I have to face it. We really want another child. I would love to hear
from anyone who has faced something similar and how they got the courage to try
again. I'm not optimistic by nature but this experience is forcing me to rethink my
outlook on life...
hoping to heal
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost several pregnancies, one in the
and it's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I found the book
A Silent Sorry by Ingrid Kohn to be a big help. For me, it also helped a
lot to talk about it with
people I trust, instead of keeping it a secret or taboo. I don't know if
you ever ''get
over'' something like this - It certainly changed me forever. But time
does help and
so does giving yourself the time and space to mourn. It's important. For
us, we had
to shift gears and stop trying to get pregnant for awhile. It took me
over a year to
recover and I can still feel the pain sometimes. My advice is to be kind
What you're going through is probably going to hurt for some time, but
it does get
better. It's life, and it's wonderful and wrong, and all sorts of
things, you just do
Sorry for your loss
Give yourself time to heal emotionally. If you are like most
people, there will be a day in the not so distant future where
you won't be consumed with either sadness, fear or anxiety. By
all means, try again! The success of a subsequent pregnancy
will make you feel a lot better about the past situation. I too
had a similar thing with my second pregnancy (although it
wasn't a genetic problem, so I can't speak to those issues),
but once I eventually had my second (healthy) child, the pain
of the past was truly behind me. Go for it!
Been there too!
I am very sorry about your loss. For me, undertaking a
subsequent pregnancy after pregnancy loss was both terrifying
and healing. I have a couple of recommendations for you...
1) there are two books that I found to be very helpful. I read
these whenever I was feeling scared.
Lanham, Carol "Pregnancy after Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy after
a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death." 1999
Douglas, Ann and Sussman, John "Trying Again: A Guide to
Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss." 2000
2) there is a wonderful online group called SPALS (Subsequent
Pregnancy After Loss www.spals.com)This group is made up of
women and men who have experienced pregnancy loss and infant
death and are in various stages of trying again. There are many
people who are trying to get pregnant, many who are pregnant,
and many who are done with this journey.
3) If you are looking for a therapist - I recommend Kim Kluger-
Bell. She is in Berkeley and specializes in issues related to
pregnancy loss and has written a great book on the subject. She
was a terrific support to me through a subsequent pregnancy.
I hope you find peace and comfort on your journey through this
Been There Too
I feel for you. I've also suffered 2 miscarriages (one in the second
trimester last year
and the most recent - last week at 10.5 weeks). I also have a toddler
and I'm 42. You
are unlikely to be carrying anything, although testing will only give
information. My thoughts are with you, I know it is a hard road healing
from a loss. Try
some restorative yoga, maybe a loss support group, or some acupuncture (
acupuncturist can recommend some healing herbs/diet)? Good luck.
You said you feel nutritionally depleted. We should be eating
healthily at all times, but even more so under duress, because it
provides us the physical strength and hormonal balance necessary
to cope. Consider metabolic testing. It's usually $100 or so.
They test your blood and let you know where you have deficiencies
and you can work from there. Feed yourself wholesome, solid,
balanced meals. Don't let yourself skip on it - many lose
interest in food during grief. But you must force yourself to eat
good stuff that brings you both satiety and health.
Make your physical health your number one priority. Just
balancing your hormones could help tremendously with mood.
Also relaxing baths with epsom salts (which allows the skin to
absorb needed minerals). If you can put essential oils that smell
nice to you in your baths too, all the better - any oil that
appeals is good, but a few oil ideas: rosemary is good for the
hope to carry on. Grapefruit is good for depression and loving
yourself. Clary Sage is good when it's hard to let go of the past.
While doing all these things, get yourself a $10 Sweet Chestnut
flower essence from the health food store. This works subtly on
the emotional level, and ''brings optimism and peace of mind when
anguish overwhelms you and you can't find a way out''. I found it
soothing during periods of loss, but note, it doesn't cure you.
It simply provides support to help you get to the next step.
Hope you feel better
I have been thru this twice, at 18 weeks and at 13 weeks.
Healing is slow but it does happen. Get your chromosones tested
as soon as you feel up to it - more than likely, they are normal
(especially if you have a healthy child and don't have a history
of reoccuring miscarriage). there used to be a support group run
by CPMC - not sure if they still have it. There is a great one
thru Kaiser Oakland that is open to non Kaiser members - I know
many women who have travelled many miles to attend. I also
recomend the A Heartbreaking Choice list (google it)-- its a
moderated email list-serve (I think thats what its called). I
was very very skeptical and turned out that I connected with
about 8 women from the bay area -- we have been thru so much
together and they ''get it'' like no one else. We used to meet
regularly for lunch & still connect even tho some have moved out
I would not have survived without accupuncture & regular
exercise. My accupuncturist prescribed herbs for anexity &
depression, to help me sleep & eventually to help me try to get
pregnant again. I cried alot in accupuncture -- it helped that I
knew her before the losses.
Many women who have been thru this have talked about knowing
when you are ready - and what I have heard the most is that when
the fear of another loss is less than the fear of not having
another child, you are ready. And subsequent pregnancies are
very challenging - another place the Heartbreaking Choice lists
come in very handy for support.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
I am so sorry for you loss.
After I lost my first pregnancy a friend told me (who had also had a
loss), ''If I hadn't
lost that pregnancy, I wouldn't know my daughter. And she has changed
I am thankful for her every day.'' That conversation gave me hope. And
daughter arrived, I now completely understand what my friend was
wouldn't be myself without my daughter. My purpose on Earth is to be my
daughter's mother. It was hard for me to see that in the days after my
but that concept did help to change the way I saw things.
Take care of yourself. I went back to work way too fast. There were
with the parking lot at the grocery store was overwhelming. Go home and
with a book. Do acupuncture. That was the most therapeutic advice my
needed. It balanced my hormones and made my body feel like me again. I
Mink at the Bancroft Center for Chinese Medicine. The books listed in
postings were good. Get hugs from little arms. Spend time with the
little people in
your life: nieces, nephews, godchildren, etc.... Those hugs are good
Again, I am sorry for your loss.
i had an abortion 5 days ago and am feeling very, very
remorseful and sad. even though i am pro-choice, i believed at
the time and after much discussion with my husband, that
terminating this pregnancy was the right thing to do. we have
2 lovely children, and i have talked about a 3rd. but we also
have a baby and i think a new baby would have overwhelmed all
of us. i find myself tearful much of the time, can't be alone
without obsessing about what i did to my poor baby, and just
plain bummed out. i wonder, did it feel pain? did it have a
soul? will i always feel so sad about this baby? and now i
also find myself consumed with planning on when i would have a
3rd. i know that i am grieving and probably need therapy
(never gone). are there any women out there who had children,
chose to have an abortion and then went on to have more
children? any good therapists to recommend?
Call the Exhale hotline right away. This is what they're there for.
It's going to be OK.
An abortion provider
What you're feeling is normal----very sad, remorseful. Remember,
though, that you made that choice because you're a responsible parent
who wanted to make sure your two existing children received the
attention and support they're entitled to, as well as ease any blows to
the marriage from the stress of the an additional pregnancy and new
baby. I had the same experience. Two wonderful little children and I
got pregnant with a 3rd. At the time, my second was a terror----
tempermental to the max. It was very demanding, emotionally. I didn't
want #2 to become an ignored, middle child and make my future life
more miserable, due to lack of attention from child #3. I chose
After the abortion, I'd cry and regret my choice for the first few
weeks, wondering what the aborted fetus, as a child, would had been
like. It got better over time----I felt bad occasionally, but
reassured myself about why I made that choice. About 2 yrs later I
accidentally became pregnant again, but (I'm sure due to the earlier
abortion) it ended in a miscarriage. After that I didn't become
pregnant again. We have 2 great kids----sometimes I wonder what
would've happened with my second child's personality if we had gone
ahead and had #3, but we're very happy with two and I think our lives
have been a lot more enjoyable and less hectic as a result. We had more
money/benefits (travel, classes,
tutors) for the 2 than we would've had for 3. I still feel I made the
choice to protect my second child's needs. There will always be a
little question about that choice, but if you know why you made it, you
can always be sure you did it for the right reason. Just because
everyone else is having 3 kids doesn't mean you have to, too. There
seems to be a bit of peer pressure/keeping up with the Joneses to have 3
Pro-choice isn't just for non-marrieds
When I had my abortion, I also was very distressed. In retrospect, I
think it had a lot to do with hormonal fluctuations. You just had a
major hormaonal shock to your system. I would encourage you to talk to
an OB about that and see what they say.
Please give it time. You are still recovering physically and I am sure
you will feel better soon
dear sad mom:
reading your post broke my heart! I had an abortion earlier this year--
totally the right decision for our family (we decided long ago to only
have one), but it was a hard decision nonetheless & one that brought
with it lots of sadness.
5 days is not that long ago-- please give yourself time to grieve; what
you are going through sounds like a totally normal reaction. if you
would like to talk to a therapist, Kim Kluger- Bell on Solano Ave
specilaizes in pregnancy termination & loss (I saw her after a
miscarriage & after the abortion). her number is 510 524-1475. also
there is an after-abortion hotline called Exhale that Planned Parenthood
recommended, though I never called it: 866 439-4253 not sad anymore
I debated whether or not to answer your post, because my situation is a
little bit different than yours. I've never had an abortion, but I lost
three pregnacies, one when my son was two years old. I know the pain of
loss. And if this just happened in your life only five days ago, you
are no doubt feeling both physical and emotional loss. It will take
your body some time to return to your non-pregnant state, and the
hormonal and other physical changes do have an effect on emotions. You
will need time. Be kind to yourself.
I'm also concerned by some of your questions about the baby. I think
they are completely normal and it's probably a good thing in the long
run for you to be thinking about things. When it comes to matters of
soul, you are stepping into an area where there are strong beliefs and
strong judgements. Take care there.
It might help to realize that there are a wide variety of beliefs in
human societies about life and soul. For instance, some systems believe
in reincaration, a soul, or spirit, or life force can be born into
different lives over the ages. Some religions beleive that a baby's
soul or spirit does not come to completely reside in the body until
later points in pregancy or even after the child is born. If a
pregnancy is lost before those points, the soul or spirit finds another
body to merge with.
These ideas won't change what's happened, and probably won't help much
in the course of your grief. But I mention them here to offer ways in
which you don't have to be so hard on yourself.
You made what sounds like a decision for your whole family.
However, you are the one who must feel the physical loss deepest.
Allow yourself room to grieve. Have a ritual to commemorate the baby's
brief time in your life if that sounds like it would help, and allow it
to go on. You may never be completely *over* this loss. I still
sometimes find myself weeping. But you will return to a sense of
balance. For me the greatest help is remembering to be inn the present
moment, by focusing on my child , my family and my community. With all
my heart, I wish you peace anon
Everything that you are feeling is normal. There is no ''right''
way to feel. There is a great organization called EXHALE which offers
free, non-judgemental, confidential phone counseling to women who have
had abortions (and their allies). They are ''pro-voice''! If it was 5
days ago or 50 years ago, you still have a right to your complicated
feelings and to be listened to and supported.
After-Abortion Talkline: 1-866-4 EXHALE
Monday - Friday, 5 p.m. - 10 p.m. Pacific Saturday - Sunday, 12 p.m. -
10 p.m. Pacific Counseling available in English, Spanish, Vietnamese,
Cantonese, Mandarin and Tagalog.
it helps to talk and get support
Oh, sweet lady, I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness. I send many hugs.
Please, please, please contact Project Rachel online and by phone.
Their purpose is to comfort women in your situation who are grieving.
Your aching heart needs the words they have for you. You are a
wonderful mom and you did what you thought was best for your family. To
be able to best serve your family from now on, you need to heal your
mama's heart. Please call them.
Their phone # is on their website.
Let yourself be comforted so you can comfort your 2 babes
Regarding post-abortion counseling, I noticed two posts recommending
anti-abortion organizations, though neither post identified them as
such. Those organizations are Project Rachel and First Resort.
My heart is with you. You did a hard thing, made a difficult choice.
Neither another child nor an abortion is easy. You're feeling sad and
that's okay. Your raging pregnancy hormones are leaving your body.
Remember the first two weeks after your children were born? How
emotional it was? It's like that again, your hormones have nothing to
do but dissipate, which takes a little time. Crying is okay. It helps.
I still think about what might have been, but I can only guess and hope
and wonder if I still made the right decision to abort, but have to
accept that it was the right decision at the time, since that was what I
knew at the time. What's so damn hard too is you don't really get to
grieve openly about an abortion, like when you miscarry or something.
Please find a therapist and talk to your partner too. You both have
feelings about this and each other It will be okay
I want to extend my support to you at this time. I can understand the
mixed feelings that you are having. Having mixed feelings is very normal
yet very confusing. I wanted to recommend Kim Kluger Bell who is a
therapist in Albany/Berkeley - her phone is 524-1475. She's written on
pregnancy loss through both miscarriage and abortion.
Take care of yourself
Sad mom, your posting really struck me. I had an abortion several years
ago and although I didn't feel as you are feeling, I certainly can
understand how hard it could be. I think you need to dedicate some time
to allow yourself to grieve your loss -- it's a sad thing you had to do.
That doesn't in any way conflict with your pro-choice conviction, so let
yourself fully mourn. I really hope you don't get bombarded with well
meaning anti-abortion messages because I think you are already carrying
enough feelings of guilt and remorse. It sounds like you are on the
right track with seeking out a therapist to help and support you during
this time. I hope you find peace and don't beat yourself up for what was
a very difficult decision that you genuinely felt was for the best LR
Perhaps you should seek out post-abortion counseling? I know that First
Resort offers this, and I believe the cost is very low.
You are definitely not alone in allthe
feelings you described after having an abortion, and you should
definitely find some place to work through and process your experience!
Regarding post-abortion counseling, I noticed two posts recommending
anti-abortion organizations, though neither post identified them as
such. Those organizations are Project Rachel and First Resort.
Dear Sad Mom,
My heart goes out to you. What a difficult decision to make and what a
difficult time to have to make it. I think you already know that you
made the right choice for your family and that counseling and time will
help. I hope that hearing everyone's compassionate responses on BPN
As a Pro-Choice Pastor I wanted to offer a few thoughts on the baby's
soul. I don't know if the unborn have souls from conception or if the
acquire them somewhere along the way, but classic Christian thought has
always held that the unborn are sinless. If a baby dies in the womb
Christians believe that nothing would hinder her from entering paradise.
Three year ago yesterday my mother died. I remember a friend telling me
then that at Christmas time heaven comes a little closer to earth and
that her journey between places would be swift and sure.
I also remember that December seemed so sad with the days so short and
the nights so long. But after Solstice the days started slowly getting
longer, just a few minutes at a time. It seemed like a good metaphor
for grief. You never get over it, but it does get better. The sun will
My prayer is that this will happen for you too. I hope that you will
feel secure about your baby and that happiness will slowly enter your
life again too.
Blessings to you and your family.
Call if I can help. Shepherd of the Hills, Berkeley
I'm not in your situation but I felt that I needed to respond because I
remember that aching. I have always wanted children.
I got pregnant when I was 20 and felt very connected to that child. I
new it would be a girl, I knew what she would look like. I was in a
stupid relationship and really felt that I had no option but to
terminate the pregnancy. I am now in my 30s with a wonderful toddler.
An abortion is a loss and it will take time for you to resolve this loss
within yourself. You are grieving and that is to be expected. Many women
have ceremonies to honor that loss. I remember praying that I could just
get through one day without thinking about it and feeling that pain. I
repressed it in my daily life, but I remember crying almost everytime I
took a shower. I didn't get therapy until years later and then realized
how much it had hurt me emotionally. Therapy will help. But you will
still grieve and there will still be times when it is painful. I have
realized that it was the right decision for me at the time, but I will
always wish that it was a decision that I didn't have to make.
For therapy, I recommend Beverly Parrish in Berkeley. She is a gentle
soul and really helped me work through my guilt albeit a few years after
Best of luck to you
I am in the unfortunate situation of being pregnant, in my 40s,
with two kids already. I am looking for stories of other parents
who decided to terminate a pregnancy due to the fact that their
marriage/finances/sheer logistics cannot handle another child.
Please do not write to lecture me about abortion--I am in great
pain over this decision because emotionally and spiritually I no
longer believe in abortion (although I support it politically). We
just truly cannot handle another child. I am wondering if other
parents have gone through this and felt justified in their
decision, essentially, to ''protect'' the existing family by
deciding not to carry a third pregnancy through to birth.
I can emphathize with you, I had to make this decision a month
ago and I, too, struggled with my spiritual beliefs. I still
wonder if we could have made it work, but I didn't know how I
could provide for the kids I already have. I do want to warn
you, that maybe it's because of age and hormone level, but you
will be severely depressed for about two weeks after the
procedure. I wasn't prepared for that at all. I still wish I
would have given it more thought and relied on my faith. I am
sorry you have to make this decision, I wouldn't wish it on
anyone. It helps if your husband fully supports you, it won't
help if he changes his mine later, like mine did, when it was
I am so sorry that you have to go through this painful decision,
but I commend you in taking consideration all the consequences of
bringing another into your family. I beleive it is a
wholeheartedly selfless act on your part to want to maintain the
preservation of your household and family by not adding to it.
Bringing a child into this world should always warrant such
consideration--everyone should want their children to be raised
in optimal conditions, and if you don't feel that you can provide
that for whatever reasons, and I think yours are good ones, I
believe you are making the right decision, as difficult as it is.
This is why the term is ''Pro-Choice''....so one can weigh all the
neccessary factors when deciding to bring another life into this
world. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time, but know
that you are making the right decision for yourself AND your family.
Would you consider carrying the baby to term and giving it up
for adoption? As an adoptive mother who was never able to have
her own biological child, I can assure you with absolute
definitiveness that there are thousands of couples out there
who, more than anything else in the world, just want to be
parents. I know--I was one of them. With open adoption you can
choose who will raise your child and what, if any, contact you
would want with the child. I know of women in predicaments such
as yours (women who just couldn't raise another one) who have
done this and this would be the most giving, selfless act of
love to make another person/couple parents. You truly would
make someones dream come true. All the best to you in your
decision, whatever it may be.
the happiest mom in the world
Please run, don't walk to get Sue Nathanson's book, Soul
Crisis: One Woman's Journey Through Abortion and Renewal! This
is one of the most powerful books I've ever read, and I read it
15 years ago, and I've never been in the situation myself. Sue
Nathanson is a local therapist and as good as they get, and she
describes her experience with exactly your situation. She got
really thrown by the whole thing and writes honestly, movingly,
and humbly about her whole process. I think you will find this
book very inspiring and helpful!
I truly agree with you: it is best not to sacrifice your
family's well being, both financial and emotional, with another
child. If you think the pregnancy will take a toll too big on
your health and life then consider terminating it. Otherwise
please consider giving this third child for adoption if it's
possible. There are too many families out there longing for a
child. This way your child will have a fair chance of being born
and leading a happy life.
Just my .02. Good luck, no matter what decision you take.
I don't know if this will help, but I have a friend who was in
exactly the same position. She's a different person, obviously,
but she doesn't have any regrets. I think what spurred her on
is that whenever she asked her husband to sit down and talk
about it, he couldn't find the time. I think she felt that she
did what she needed to do to take care of herself and her
family. No doubt she (and you) will also end up thinking about
this in the future, but that's life. It's sad and difficult
My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you are hurting
desperately. I have been in the same boat twice myself. Some
First, many many women have walked in your shoes. Abortion is
not something many women are willing to talk about unless you
bring it up first, but you would be surprised what compassion
and help people will offer if you risk being open yourself.
Second, the most helpful observation I got about this was from
someone who'd had the procedure in her 40's, who told me, ''I was
hoping that if I just had the procedure, everything in my life
would go back to the way things were before I was pregnant. But
you can't ever go back to how things were before. Not that you
won't be happy again, it's just that things will be different
Third, people don't tell you about the strong link between
pregnancy and depression. For some of us it can be a much
greater problem than post-partum depression. Make sure that you
are addressing this issue NOW. Don't wait til after the
procedure to seek help.
To help you work through your process and come to terms with
your feelings about choosing abortion, I highly recommend Anna
Runkle's book ''In Good Conscience''. More info at http://law-books.org/0787941492.html
It is currently out of print but can be ordered used through
an anonymous friend
I had an abortion when my first and only daughter was 2.5. (
I was in my early 30s). I thought long and hard about it
because I did kind of want another child. BUT my marriage
was on the rocks (we split up a year later), he didn't want
anymore children, we didn't have very much money, and I
was just starting to do some work from home. The
circumstances just weren't right! I think that if I had had that
child, I would be in the looney bin!! or worse, back living with
my mother with my two kids!! It wouldn't have been fair to
bring another child into an unhappy and stressful home. I
feel like I made the right decision, though not without
wondering ''what would she/he have been like?'' My
daughter really needed and still does need me to herself. I
feel like our children come to us at the RIGHT time. Maybe
I'm just trying to justify having the abortion, but that's the
decision I made then and the reality of that time justified it. I
don't think I was meant to have more than one child and I'm
at peace with that. I enjoy my friends kids, my daughters
friends, and feel like I have a larger family in that way. Good
luck to you in your decision.
I found myself in the same situation. I have three kids and
truly could not handle or afford another. I too have found
myself slightly against abortion and I knew I didn't want to go
I called my doctor who gave me a shot of chemotherapy which
stops the cell growths. It has to be done before the 7 week, so
I hope it's not too late. Also, he took an ultra sound to make
sure I wasn't farther along and at about 5 weeks there wasn't
even a blob to see, which made me feel much better!
I extend my sympathy to you. I have not faced this situation,
but I did accompany a family member through it, and it was very
hard yet at the same time the best decision, not one she
regretted. She also was a person who has grave misgivings
about abortion, and it was some comfort to her to find that
there were others in her same situation among those she met at
a clinic abortion information session.
Most likely you have already ruled out the option of making an
adoption plan instead of an abortion plan, but I just wanted to
say that if you are open to adoption, I am interested in
adopting a child and would be grateful to explore that option
Have you considered or would you consider an open adoption? I'm
sure that there are many couples who would love to give your
baby a home. You can check out the website of the Independent
Adoption Center (IAC) at www.adoptionhelp.com - they are one of
the larger agencies handling open adoptions. The services of
the IAC are free to birthmothers and it is legal and customary
for the adopting parents to assume responsibility for costs
related to the pregnancy and birth, so that financial burden
would be removed.
I have friends who are actively trying to adopt. I'm posting on
their behalf since they are not members of this group. If you
would be interested in finding out more, without any commitment,
please let me know and I can put you in touch with them.
I applaud your courage and honesty in exploring your choices and
wish you the best during this difficult time.
I'm not sure if you want my advice - I'm not giving experience
with an abortion, but I did find myself unexpectedly pregnant
with #4 last Jan 01. I completely and utterly support your
decision to abort; I am rabidly pro-choice.
My experience was with a partner (same father of my other 3
children) and we'd weathered 2 other unplanned pregnancies (only
#3 was planned :)). We seperated for the duration of my first
pregnancy as he was not (then) prepared to be a father, so we've
been down that road also. He was adamant that I abort and while
I made 2 appointments, I never (obviously :)) went through with it.
So, we had plans to leave the area, move to the country (where
we'd always wanted to move) and simplify. Then came #4. I
really really really did NOT want to be pregnant. It was an
awful, horrible, terrible pregnancy. I had all but #1 at home,
but spent a week in the hospital with this one (#4) due to
extreeme morning sickness (hypersomethingorotheremesis?). We
figured out how to make it work. We went on food stamps. We
bought (buy) everything at the thriftstore. I hit farmers
markets at the end of the day and get a lot free (or greatly
reduced). I started a garden in our front yard and we'll have
eggs from our own chickens in the fall or spring (depending on
how they mature). We recycle grey water.
I can give you lots of tips for frugal living - we're now a
family of 6 living on $30K a year. We went off food stamps early
this year (I started an in-home business) but are still on WIC.
We still would love to move to the country, but we'll see. :)
I'm not trying to sway your decision at all, but if the only
impediment is finances, perhaps my experience might help.
Oh, :) I was (thinking hard) 41 when I fell pregnant with #4.
OH, and there will NOT be another. Abstinence, while
frustrating, is foolproof. :)
No More Than Four
Call First Resort Pregnancy Consulting-510-238-8799. They will discuss
you all your options.
I found myself in this situation when I was 36. I kept the
baby. All I can say really is that I'm incredibly glad I did; I
had an abortion at 17 and, just as you say, no longer believe
in it for myself, although I do support it politically.
It was a hard time adjusting, but I wouldn't have it the other
way. My family changed, adapted, and our new daughter enhanced
the situation. Someone once said to me that you ''grow into the
role'' of being a mother.
I think you would have to weigh the pain of an abortion against
the change to the family; I felt I couldn't handle that pain,
not again. For me it turned out great keeping the child.
There's been never a moment of regret. Though sure - it is hard
A mother of many
I think you should think very carefully about your options. If
you are anti-abortion personally then you may not be able to
come to terms with having the abortion. I am pro-choice myself,
but that doesn't mean that aborting a baby is the right thing
for someone for whom it would be difficult logistically and
otherwise to have a baby. You should have a candid discussion
with your partner about your feelings and maybe with a councelor
Have you considered placing your baby for adoption with another
family? There are many infertile couples, lesbian and gay
couples, and single individuals who want to start a family and
are open to adopting a child - especially a baby - to join
I myself am pro-choice, and I totally support every woman's
right to control her own body and make her own choices. I've
been a staunch feminist since my teens and I'm now in my 40s.
At the same time, I'd like to see more women at least
considering a third choice, of adoption. We formed our family
through adoption, and we wouldn't have been able to have a
child any other way. As an adoptive mom, I'm grateful every day
for the choice my son's birthmother made.
It is undoubtedly a difficult choice for you to make, no matter
what you decide, but please consider adoption as an
alternative. You could call Jewish Family Services' Adoption
Connection (open to all, you don't have to be jewish) for free,
Hi, I had two abortions in my 40's. I already had three
children and my OB/GYN assured me it was fairly common. You
are not alone -- but it is hard. I went through a period of
mourning and wondering ''what if''. Comments like there was no
more room in the sinking life boat didn't help. But I did
recover. I also went to an abortion healing clinic at the
Newman Center. That helped. It's a woman's decision. It's
never easy, though. Even when it is in the best interest of
the whole family -- there's a real mourning period -- and it's
hard. But I'm ok. Good luck.
Have you thought about adoption? you said ''emotionally and
spiritually I no longer believe in abortion'', that being said, you
will probably feel guilty after it is done. Maybe you can have the
baby adopted and tell your kids that you are having a child for
someone that cannot. That way they can understand why you are doing
it, and not feel like they are losing out on a brother or sister. I
would not bring it up that this is your child that you are giving
away, as the questions that come will be hard to answer.
just my opinion
Three corrections to other posts to offer here... Someone
recommended my book, ''In Good Conscience: A Practical,
Emotional and Spiritual Guide to Deciding Whether to Have
an Abortion,'' but mistakenly thought it was out of print. A
new edition came out in 2002, and you can get it on Amazon
or by calling my distributor at 1-800-8199-7080. You may be
in a hurry for help; if you e-mail me I'll rush you a
workbook/pamphlet excerpted from the book, that walks you
through the decision process, helping you find the decision
you'll feel good about now and for the rest of your life.
Second, someone else referred you to ''First Resort'' to talk
about all your options; please be aware that they are
definitely ANTI-ABORTION and their goal is to get you not to
Finally, serious depression is rare after an abortion,
affecting about 2% of women. These tend to be those who
already have a history of mental illness, who felt pressured
to have an abortion against their own judgment, or who lack
support from their partner/family. Over time, women who
chose abortion do not experience depression at higher
rates than those who carry unintended pregnancies to term;
the most common emotion after abortion, in fact, is relief.
It may comfort you to know that about 55% of the
over-a-million abortions in this country each year are for
women who already have at least one child; abortion has
always been with us as a means of providing the best
parenting we can. Take care.
I write as someone who had an unplanned pregnancy in her 40s and
carried it to term. Having another child had serious, negative,
and, I think, lasting consequences for our other children. We
adore that last child, and our others, but still wonder whether
we made a moral error in continuing the pregnancy. Having
another child has real repercussions for your existing children,
and, indeed, everyone else who depends on you, and you would be
wrong not to consider them.
I am sorry that you have to go through this right now.
Considering an abortion is not an easy thing, and I want you to
know that you have one more person out there who supports
whatever decision you make. As you probably know, any decision
you make will affect you deeply. My story is different, but I
have faced 2 unplanned pregnancies, terminating both. I am
staunchly pro-choice, but I also know that abortion does have
consequences. I agree with a lot of the other postings that
mention the depression and recommend counseling. Should you
decide to terminate, I advise finding a SAFE place to discuss
all the feelings that may come up afterwards. You are entitled
to your feelings of grief, loss, relief, or whatever they may
be, regardless of your decision. I hope that your partner will
be supportive during this decision-making process. Years ago,
there was a therapist named Kathy Anolick, who ran non-
judgemental post-abortion support groups. I don't know if she's
still around, but I'm sure there are others.
By the way, I'm sorry that somebody responded to your request
with the phone number of an anti-abortion counseling center.
What you need right now is support for whatever decision you
I haven't been in your situation, but when I was in college my mother
told me that
she had had an abortion a couple years after my younger sister was
born. She had
had me at age 35 and my sister at 37, and when she got pregnant again
didn't want another baby. I can't speak for her, but I never got the
she ever regretted that decision. Of course if you decide to keep the
baby you will
love it and probably not be able to imagine life without it. But if
you truly do not
*want* another baby (which is different from thinking that you wouldn't
be able to
handle it) then I don't think you would regret your decision to not
--wising you the best in your decision
I salute you and everyone else who really thinks about the enourmity
of child- rearing. Anyone who has had an abortion should know about
EXHALE, a post- abortion talkline. It offers non-judgemental emotional
support, resources and information. You can call 20 minutes or 20
years after an abortion, it is also a resource for your partner or
other friends. The talkline operates Monday through Friday from
5p.m. to 10p.m. and Spanish language counseling is available Wednesday
from 5p.m. to 10 p.m. and by request. Their web site is
www.4exhale.org and the talkline number is 1-866-4EXHALE.
I was pleased to see so many different kinds of response to
your note. No one can predict what YOUR reaction to this
situation! will be, whatever you decide. Even someone else
who has been through it may have a different reaction, short
or long-term. Getting good counselling, whatever your decision, may
be the most important thing you do for yourself now.
I think its especially important not to assume that your feelings of
relief will outweigh any negative feelings you may have.
Was I relieved after the abortion I had at 21? Yes. Do I still
regret my decision to have it, more than 20 years later? Most of the
time. Every day. Even knowing that my life would have been completely
different with that person in it, I regret making what at the time
seemed the only right choice.
I married the father of that baby and had more kids,
including an unplanned one in my 40s last year. Having lived with
regret for more than 20 years there was no discussion of
not having this one, but I had a tubal the same day. I don't regret
You will do what you must do, what you think best. Just don't
let anyone tell you it will be easy either way, either way is
Anonymous Older Mother
Now that congress has passed the ban on ''late term partial birth
abortion'', and the president will sign it into law, I need to get
some IMPARTIAL information about how this law might impact a very
specific situation: terminating a pregnancy after a finding of
Downs or Neural Tube Defects via and amniocentisis done at ~20
weeks. My concern is that this may no longer be an option.
Especially since I have heard in news reports that the law makes
no distinction between a viable fetus and an nonviable fetus. I
heard a report that specified that the ''late term'' phrase means
anything ''over five months'' (no specific week number was
mentioned in the report, so it might bump up against the time you
learn these things through the standard amnio at 20 weeks.) I
know CVS is an option at 10 weeks, but it's not always successful
-- in my case, my anatomical makeup wouldn't let it happen. I am
of ''advanced maternal age'' and this would be a real factor for
us in trying to get pregnant with another child. People I've
spoken with about this recommend calling somewhere like Planned
Parenthood, but I have a feeling I would be talking to someone
who already is in an adversarial position to the ban and would
possibly politicize the answer. Others have suggested calling the
genetics department of Kaiser (we have Kaiser Health insurance)
but I'm not sure a genetics nurse would be boned up on
legislative issues. I tried calling Diane Feinstein's office but
have not received a response. Any recommendations?
In order to protect their tax exempt status, Planned Parenthood
is very careful to not be political. They are a medical agency,
not a lobbying organization, and when I was involved in clinic
protection in the mid-eighties, the staff at their clinics were
very clear that their priorities are to provide top-quality
medical care to their patients, keep their doors open and
services accessible, and not to get involved in a political
battle about abortion. I think they would be an excellent source
of information for you. You could start by checking their
website, they probably have something up about the law now.
a fan of planned parenthood
I would call NARAL - National Abortion Rights Action League.
Having recently had to deal with this, I can tell you that
*already* there are limited options for a D&E in the east bay -
limited hospitals, limited docs. I am not sure the legislation
limits the D&E procedure which I think you can have up until 20
weeks. With amnio, if you get it scheduled right around 16
weeks, you can get your results back in 48 hours with a FISH
test (can also do this with CVS). So you could have your
information earlier than 20 weeks. At Kaiser, a genetic
counselor who may be helpful is Ann Bourguignon.
I'm sorry that I do not have any info on the new law, but I just
wanted to make sure you had been given the correct info on CVS
before ruling it out.
You mentioned not being anatomically eligible, so I wondered if
you had been told that they can do it either vaginally (which I
had done, and it felt like a pap smear) or abdominally (like
amnio), depending on the positioning of your placenta. I'm
pretty sure they don't know which way they'll do it til you are
on the table and they ultrasound you. If there are other
anatomical stipulations that preclude you, I apologize for my
ignorance. Also, if you are concerned because you have heard
about limb abnormalities, those have pretty much been all linked
to people who had the procedure done at 10 weeks--a reputable
physician will not do it at 10 weeks because of that, which
means your window is 11-13 weeks. I had mine done at about 12
weeks, I think, and it was so great to have peace of mind
(fortunately) so early in my pregnancy. I went to a place in SF-
-California Pacific or something like that way up California
Street. The Dr. there--I cannot recall his name, maybe
Goldberg?--was, according to my OB/GYN, one of the pioneers in
developing CVS, and he was truly wonderful.
I hope that this is an option for you, and best of luck! If you
would like to ask me anything about my CVS experience, please
feel free to contact me through the moderator.
Here's the non-politicized deal -- so-called ''partial birth''
abortion is one method of late term abortion. There are
other methods still available. Abortion is performed by
some local providers up to 24 weeks. This is generally long
enough to learn amnio resuslts. If one needed an abortion
later than that, they could travel elsewhere, e.g., Wichita KS.
You can contact the California Abortion Rights Action League
http://www.caral.org/ for info if you need it, but I can tell
you as an abortion provider at a facility that does abortions
up to 23 1/2 weeks that the law is not going to affect our
services. Hopefully you won't need it, but even with this
change in the law, you will be able to have an abortion here
for any reason (for now, but you asked for an apolitical
I don't really have a complete answer to your question, but the
Counselors at Kaiser Genetics are not generally nurses, perhaps a
few may be, but regardless of an undergraduate study focus, they
would also have Masters degrees in Public Health focusing on
Genetics. I think they would be very aware of political
implications as they must provide options for the families they
I am a Ph.D student in a fairly competitive program. I am pregnant,
and because I am an international student here, I am very troubled and
constrained by my financial means and if we can afford time and
attention to our baby within my tight schedule. Termination seems to
be a rational decision, as keeping the baby would strain greatly on
our financial and time resources. Has anyone else had to make a
decision like this?
your story rings many bells here! i arrived two years ago to
begin my PhD program at CAL with a scholarship for two years. two
weeks after having arrived, i discovered i was pregnant (and
single, the father was already out of the picture). it was a hard
moment. since the due date was end of april i knew i could
probably get through the first year alright, then take the summer
off and maybe go back in the fall with the help of a good
subsidized child-care. on the other hand, keeping the baby would
mean having to raise a child all by myself, in a foreign country,
with 1100 dollars a month to live with, etc.
anyway i made up my mind and i decided to keep the baby. i wanted
to become a mother so much and i do think there was a part of
crazyness in my decision, but i also knew that i would manage
somehow. i began to look around and found plenty of helpful
resources, such as the WIC program at the city of berkeley, a
therapist paid 80 per cent by the university (hard to deal with
those sudden mood swings and stick to my decision with the
hormones going up and down like crazy), the family housing at the
albany village and campus child-care etc. i have actually become
an expert on all these matters so feel free to contact me if you
need specific advice.
now, to come to your more specific questions: my study field is
not what i would define competitive so i cannot give you advice
on this. my department was EXTREMELY understanding and helpful at
all levels (i delivered one week in advance so skipped the final
three weeks of classes, but they forgot about that... i gave in
all papers before running to the hospital though!!), i really
think you should evaluate the impact that a stressful environment
would have on you if you decided to keep the baby. on the other
hand never underestimate your colleagues and your professors,
they might turn out to be very open and helpful (my first -free-
baby-sitter was another student in the dpt., and the dpt chair
showed up with a pizza one night!!). to make it short, after
having taken a semester off for different reasons and having gone
back at a somehow moderate rhytm this past spring, my daughter
has now been accepted in the campus child-care full-time, which
means i can go back to full-time reading and work (I'll be
teaching everyday) and prepare for my qualifying exams. my advice
is: if you have any hint that you'd like to have this baby, then
have it. it is doable, even though the first months are going to
be extremely tough, and you will have to compromise maybe on how
long it takes you to get a degree. You'll actually enjoy the fact
of having a more grown-up one when you'll get on the job
market... and anyway, having a kid is an amazing experience, not
very ''intellectual'' at times but full of surprises. hope this
long message helps you somehow. i also know of a colleague of
mine who decided to terminate her pregnancy because she didn't
feel she could deal with that before being done with her PhD.,
and i respect that. once again, feel free to get in touch with me
if i can be of any help
You do not mention whether you have a committed partner, and
what the circumstances of your partner are. Regardless, you
need to be ready to handle the demands of parenting on your
own, and you do not seem ready emotionally or financially to
have a baby. I have been pregnant 4 times. Twice I terminated
pregnancies because it was not at the right time in my life--in
one case, I was an undergrad and the dad was my amour de jour.
There was no question in my mind that I would not have a baby.
The second time, although I had graduated from Cal, I was
unclear about my future and unclear about the dad. Only when I
was clear about my goals and where I was in my life did having
a baby make sense for me. (I went on to graduate school 5
years after undergrad). It sounds like you are in the same
Do I ever feel guilty about terminating two pregnancies? No--
curious about where my life would have gone had I had children
at those times in my life, but never guilty. I have two
beautiful children, a career I love, and a supportive partner.
This would not have been my life if I had carried my first two
pregnancies to term.
Whatever your decision, I wish you luck.
Yes, I have been there! When I was 21, I became pregnant. I was a full-
time student and my boyfriend (at that time) and I were in no financial (or
emotional) situation to take on the care of a child. I terminated the
pregnancy and do not regret the decision. Since I, personally, do not
feel that a fetus is a person, I didn't have any feelings of guilt about it,
and I don't look back on it with grief. This is my personal experience, and
not necessarily how others feel about this kind of decision, nor am I
suggesting that this is how *you* should feel about it.
Having said that, I did become pregnant again, several years later, and
that was much more upsetting. Not because I felt terrible about
terminating pregnancy (from the perspective of the affect on the zygote)
but because it is not the most pleasant experience (I don't like going
''under'' a general anaesthetic, it takes me a long time to recover). I had
vowed to myself that I wouldn't ever do it again, and here I was,
definitely feeling that having a child at that point would be the *wrong*
time (my boyfriend, now husband, and I had only been dating for a few
weeks, I was finishing school and working a lot and neither of us had
two nickles to rub together), so I terminated pregnancy for a 2nd time.
However, quality of life is a big deal to me, with regard to children (and
oneself). It does sound as if having a child now would be extremely
stressful for you - and how would that affect your child, should you
choose to give birth (and keep) him or her? Of course, the other option is
to have the baby and give it up for adoption--but going through
pregancy and birth could be extremely stressful and disruptive, even if
you're not going to keep the child. Also, giving a child up for adoption is
no guarantee that they will go on to a ''better life.'' I know that adoptive
parents can turn out to be monstrous (hopefully, the screening
processes have become more sophisticated recently, so that is less of a
This can be a very difficult decision for some people. I am glad it wasn't
for me--but I sympathize completely with your situation. Some things to
consider: do you (your partner) have parents or other relatives/friends
who would act as a support network to help you take care of the child
(should you choose to keep him/her)? This is probably the biggest
issue, because parents really need time away from the child to take care
of themselves (and each other), and paying for child care is very
expensive. A good support network can really help you make it through
a difficult period. However, something else to consider: having a
newborn is EXHAUSTING. You are right in your concern that having a
baby now will be a HUGE disruption to finishing school. You really
would probably have to take a leave of absence for at least the first year.
Are you prepared to do that? Although my first child is not born yet, I
know from living with a mother and her newborn, just how consuming a
newborn can be (not to mention helping my parents out with my little
sister when she was born - I was much older and remember it very well).
If you need to talk some more, feel free to email me -
Please consider giving up your baby for adoption. There are so
many people who would love to have a baby. I can provide you
with names/numbers of people who can help you through this
I am writing to offer my opinion on your pregnancy dilemma.
When I was 18 I terminated a pregnancy because I felt I was not
emotionally or financially prepared to raise a baby. Although I
am still very much a pro-choice advocate, I am even more of an
adoption advocate. After 3 years of infertility treatments in
my late 30's I finally had to let go of having my own biological
child and adopt. I am now the proud mother of an incredible 14
month old, whom I (and my husband) adopted. We know her birth
parents very well and have a wonderful relationship with them.
They know our door is always open if they want to see our
daughter. Please know that there are thousands of couples who
were in our situation who would give anything to be parents.
There are many more couples looking to adopt than there are
babies available. I hope you will consider carrying your baby
to term and giving it to a loving, grateful couple whose dream
will be fulfilled by becoming parents. I love my daughter more
than I ever imagined was possible to love. We adopted through
the Independent Adoption Center in Pleasant Hill, although there
are other reputable agencies as well. We had a wonderful
experience with them. Also, because the nature of adoption these
days is open adoption, you can choose your baby's parents and
the contact you want to have with them/the baby. Please please
consider making another deserving couple as happy as we have
been made by our child's birth parents.
i wanted to write to support your decision, whatever it may be!
it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.
while i would hardly be one to suggest terminating a pregnancy
for ''convenience'' you do want to be in the best position to
provide for your child and be prepared financially and
emotionally. the issues you addressed are definitely serious
and important to consider.
the difference between what you ''think'' it will be like having a
child and having your first is as big as the grand canyon! it
will be harder, more emotionally straining and tiring than you
can imagine (even with the joy and fun that come along with it).
of course either way - you will probably be able to ''handle'' it -
just thought you could use the support either way...
If you're struggling with the decision whether to have an abortion
or continue a pregnancy, you might want to check out my book, *In
Good Conscience: A Practical, Emotional and Spiritual Guide to
Deciding Whether to Have an Abortion.* It includes
comprehensive info about the procedure (including the
traditional surgical method as well as ''the abortion pill'' -- or
RU486 -- which is now available through most providers).
The text includes a workbook to help you weigh your
decision and another workbook for exploring feelings after
an abortion. It is completely neutral and supportive of your
choices; it is endorsed and used by Planned Parenthood as
well as Catholics for a Free Choice (who like the material
about the spiritual aspects of the decision process). You
can order it on Amazon.com or through Phoenix Color
Fulfillment : 800-819-7080. The cost is $16. Good luck!
You are not alone!
When I found myself pregnant two years ago, it was a very
difficult decision and it seemed like the rational thing to do
was too difficult emotionally. However, two things, which
helped me make my decision, were a supportive PI (who
found out because of my morning sickness symptoms) and
a supportive partner (we were not married). If I did not have
those two things, my decision may have been different.
Now that my baby was born, the financial burden is not as
great as I had thought. My partner, my baby and I are all
living off my GSR stipend and some help from financial aid
(who gives a $2200 dollar grant to all student families/
semester). In addition we moved into the UC Village, which
has greatly helped us afford to continue to live here. The
university also offers subsidized childcare to help low
income student families afford to have their children
watched over. Although, the financial commitments seem
daunting, I have found that it is not difficult to afford to raise a
child as a student.
If you think you can carry the baby to term but not care for him
after birth, I'd encourage you to look into offering him up for
adoption - I'm working for a woman right now who's trying to
adopt a baby and it's really opened up my eyes to how many
wonderful, caring people out there are looking for babies. Not
an easy decision either way - best of luck whatever road you
A baby and grad school can work together if you want to make it
I just graduated from a prestigous business school on the East
Coast. I also gave birth to my son in February of my first
year. My son thrills me much more than my degree!
It was tough and I didn't get a lot a sleep, but every new
parent has to deal with that. I missed one and a half weeks of
class, then went back to a full time schedule. I often found
myself reading over my notes for the next day's class during our
1 am feeding! In the second year, my sleep was better, but I
didn't get to be involved with as many activities on campus as I
would have liked.
While it can be done, what really made it possible for me was
the support of my family. My parents, in-laws, and brother took
turns staying with us and watching my son while I was in class
for the first semester when my son was too young for daycare.
There was an international student at my school who had a baby
the next year and had her cousin come stay with her for a few
It's possible! Good luck with your decision!
My name is Katie and I am a mother to two wonderful children.
I've recently moved to Berkeley to live with my sister because
of my husband's unfortunate leave from his company. It just
so happened that I was pregnant again unexpectly before my
husband became jobless. I was told by the last OB/GYN doctor
that I could be facing serious complication if I became
pregnant again because of my naturally weak body condition and
because I have for fact an RH(-) blood type. I am here to ask
for help with information on how to get the abortion right from
a which medical institution?
Please help me as soon as possible.
I am very sorry that you are in the type of situation you are in.
I know how hard it is to have to make this type of decision. But
in the interest of your other 2 children this may be the best
decision for you. It is very scary to think that you may loose
your life because of pregnancy and or related illness.In response
to your question about where to go to terminate the pregnancy you
may want to go to Planned Parenthood which has a number of
locations around the bay area. I know that they do charge around
$300 for the procedure though. If you are a Kaiser member the
procedure is free. You must speak to an advice nurse and explain
your sitation and depending on how far along you are they may be
able to do the procedure there at kaiser I believe it is after 12
weeks they will refer you to an office that handles late-term
abortions. I hope this helps you in your decision. Good luck.
Have you discussed this with your current prenatal health
provider? They should be able to help. But if this hasn't
worked for you, I strongly recommend that you contact Planned
Parenthood. They do a lot more than provide ''abortion on
demand'', as the right-wing likes to call it. They provide full
reproductive health services, and should be able to help you.
You don't have to be 100% sure that you need or want an abortion
to see them. They have counselors and doctors that can help re-
evaluate your case. But if you are absolutely sure this is what
you want, they will help. I understand they have a couple of
clinics in Oakland. They used to have one in Walnut Creek, but
I just checked their website and didn't see it there. You can
contact them online at www.ppgg.org (that's for Planned
Parenthood Golden Gate - the Bay Area organization), or call 1-
I'm not sure if my OB, Dr. Albert Brooks, 510-204-0965, performs
abortions, but he does specialize in high-risk pregancies. If
you are considering maybe not having an abortion, I recommend
seeing him for a second opinion on your health risks. He would
also probably be able to recommend somewhere for an abortion.
I received excellent help and care for an abortion at Family Planning
Specialists Medical Group at 100 Webster Street in Oakland. Their number is
510-268-3720. I believe the cost for an abortion including general anethesia
was around $400.
Given your delicate health, I would not recommend Planned
Parenthood. There are a number of providers in the area and I
know that Alta Bates does abortions. I'd recommend contacting
East Bay Perinatal Medical Associates for a referral. You
probably wouldn't even need to be seen, or pay a fee, for the
referral. Planned Parenthood may be able to make a referral
First, let me offer to you a message of emphathy and support.
This is so difficult, even in the liberal Bay Area.
The first place to start is your current insurer or health care
provider if you have one. If not, I would call Planned
Parenthood. Several years ago, I had an abortion at 18 weeks
due to genetic problems of the fetus. As a Kaiser member, I was
referred to a clinic in Oakland (The obgyn at Kaiser who would
have done the abortion was away for a few days.) I don't remember
the name of the clinic: it was in an unmarked office building.
The intake and counselling staff were there all week. They
performed abortions there on designated days. The staff was very
supportive and positive. I could have gotten followup care there
I learned later that the M.D. who performed my abortion also
worked at Alta Bates one day each week, and probably at a third
facility as well. So, you may end up with the same M.D., even if
you are choosing among facilities.
I hope this is helpful, and feel badly for your sake that I feel
I need to remain anonymous.
Best wishes to you.
this page was last updated: Nov 23, 2008
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