Sibling Visiting at Hospital
Berkeley Parents Network >
Advice >
Pregnancy & Childbirth >
Siblings and Pregnancy > Sibling Visiting at Hospital
August 2003
I am due in a couple of months with baby number 2 and seeking
advice about having my first child (who will be just shy of 3)
visit me and the baby during our stay in the hospital. I
believe it is fairly common for the older child to visit, but I
have also heard some folks say that seeing mom in a different
environment, in a hospital, and not being able to go home with
mom could be too stressful. Would love ideas about value of the
hospital visit and/or tips on making that time when mom is at
the hospital more manageable for the older child.
Thanks
Margaret
My daughter had just turend two when her sister came along. My father
brought her to the hospital. She was in awe of her baby sister. We were
worried she'd have a tough time leaving so my husband walked her
down to the playground next to Alta Bates to play for awhile, and then
put her in my father's car. We'd also purchased a gift to give her from
her baby sister...plastic food/ plates set. We had ''kitchen parties'' in the
doctors office.
best of luck-
My son was 2.5 years old when I had my daughter. When he first
visited me at the hospital, he was accompanied by my husband's
parents, who had watched him while we were delivering and whom
he adores, and my husband, who had gone home to spend a little
time with my son before returning to the hospital. My in-laws
had him get a balloon for his baby sister, which he really
enjoyed doing. We also wrapped up a train toy (he loves trains)
to give him as a present from his sister. We had a photo
session, where he was the star ''holding'' his baby sister. This
first visit went really well. He enjoyed the new surroundings
and all the attention.
The next visit the next day was not as successful. My in-laws
had left town, and my son was upset that I wasn't leaving with
my husband and him. Furthermore, he wanted us to put the baby
away so we could leave. He also pooped in his pull-up when he
hadn't been dong that for a few months.
My daughter is almost 9 months and he bounces back and forth
between really liking her and wishing she were gone. The visits
were like that, but if you make him the ''center of attention'',
this might make the hospital visit much smoother. Good luck!
Patty
When my mother went to the hospital to have my little brother (lo
these many years ago) she asked for no visitors...of course, my
aunts and uncles and cousins all trooped over to see her, while I
got stuck at home.
If there is any chance that your older kid will find out that his
or her cousins, etc. got to see you when your kid
didn't...believe me, I still remember how sad and hurt I felt
that not only was Mommy away but everyone else got to meet my
baby brother first (and I was barely 4 at the time...so don't
think your eldest is still too young to remember!)
I know you'll be coping with a lot, but believe me, you can make
a wonderful memory for your eldest about going to the hospital
and seeing Mommy and the new baby...or you can leave your eldest
at home for three days (or whatever) freaking out and imagining
what's happening and feeling jealous of anyone who does get to
see you. Which isn't maybe the best start for bringing someone
new into the family....
Sara
When I gave birth to my son, I was lucky enough to have my Mom
and sister watch my then just turned 3 year old daughter. We
made arrangements in advance for my daughter to stay with my Mom
the nights that I was expected to be in the hospital; my husband
stayed with my son and I. My daughter did not visit her new
little brother until after he was born; I was concerned over the
effects of the labor and delivery process etc. We brought my
daughter to many of my appointments so she was accustomed to
seeing me in a 'hospital' room, on a bed, with a doctor etc. We
also prepared my daughter for the impending delivery and my stay
at the hospital and explained to her that her mommy, daddy and
new baby would need to stay in the hospital for a couple of
nights. She was with my husband, son and me during the days & at
my Mom's only at night. I think my daughter would have felt
alienated if we did not have her visit (I would have missed her
terribly too; is that selfish on my part?)
If your family is not close by to stay with your older child,
ask a really close friend (even if it's for the first night of
your delivery). I've done this for a friend and it really helps
out! Good luck to you!
eileen
If I had it to do over again, I would not have had my daughter visit at the
hospital. It was heart breaking for both of us when she had to leave.
She was 3 years 3 months when her brother was born as was staying
with my mother-in-law whom she is very close to and sees several time
a week. She was very excited about having a baby sibling. We had
really prepared that it would be short visit, that mommy would sleep in
the hospital with the baby and we even had her baby brother give her a
gift. However, she screamed and cried and my mother-in-law had to
carry her out and apparently she cried for 2 hours after she left. I only
stayed in the hospital one night after the birth (but was away from my
daughter for 2 nights as I spend the first night laboring) which was good
as I had lots of help for the first 3 weeks home. However, my daugher
came to the hospital with daddy to bring home the baby and me and that
too was a mistake. The discharge was too slow, she got tired and bored
and it was all too hard. Again, if I could do it over, I would have called
my mother-in-law to bring her home once the baby and I were settled at
home.
Lisa
When my second was born 4 months ago, my first (just shy of
three) came to visit a few hours after he was born (grandma
brought her). She was delighted to meet her baby brother and had a
great time at the hospital (the nurse gave her a popsicle, she
played on the bed with mom and baby, she ran around etc.) And we
got some lovely photos of the whole family. She had no problem
going home with daddy that night, even though she had never been
away from mom for the whole night. She seemed to really understood
that something very special was going on.
Gen
this page was last updated: Jan 25, 2004
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Please see
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network