Berkeley Parents Network: Getting Professional Help for Toilet Training

Berkeley Parents Network

Getting Professional Help for Toilet Training

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > The Potty > Getting Professional Help for Toilet Training

Using a Child Pyschologist Re Potty Training?

May 2003

As desperate as this may seem, I am contemplating having our nearly 4 year-old daughter see a psychologist to find out if it will help with potty training. We've tried everything else. Has anyone used a pyschologist for this? Did it help at all? anon

I am a child psychologist and when I was working, I did work with families around basic toilet training issues, especially if they felt stuck. Keep in mind that a majority of the work will be with you, not your child. If you go to a .psyccologist trained in behavior management, you will learn howto use schedule, reward system, etc. and the psych will also help identify nutritional and other issues like stress that might be getting in the way of potty training. Much of this you could do on your own, but for some parents it really helps to have a professional encourage them along and give them ideas.
Jen

Meg Zweiback is the local expert on these matters. We've consulted her about a similar issue and found her to be really really good. Give her a call. I think you can find her in the phone book, in Oakland.
Anonymous

My daughter was on the cusp of turning four when she FINALLY started peeing in the potty. I went through every single potty training suggestion in the world and nothing worked. Around three she agreed to start wearing panties, but would hold everything in until she got her diaper back on. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth (on my part, I mean) until finally, after her baby brother was born, she decided to go pee in the potty. The poop thing took another six months. And today, at 6, she still pees in her bed three nights out of seven. Oh well. Let me add that she's a perfectly normal, if rather mellow and independent-minded, little girl. My advice to you: Save your money. Back off a bit. Because ultimately, only when SHE decides she's gonna go is she gonna go.
Julie

Although I can't speak to your exact situation, I would like to wholeheartedly recommend that you call Meg Zweiback. My husband and I recently worked with her to help us with our 2-year-old daughter's sleep issues... and got MIRACLULOUS results. I know that she also works with families on potty training issues, which is why I suggest you call her. I swear that getting her help was one of the smartest things I have done as a parent. Her number is (510) 836-1450.
Sarah

I have been taking my 4.75 son to a child psychologist for a couple of months now. I initially went to see her for potty issues--going on two years of potty problems that were not getting better. My son has a number of issues that are factors in this problem, but it's not clear that any of them are medical (in fact, I posted not long ago asking about whether one could look into this medically without catheterizing the child). My son has sensory integration issues that affect his ability to ''feel'' that he's wet, but also behaviour and attention issues that cause him to ignore when he's wet. This is a long way of saying that the problem is multi-faceted and there's been no quick fix, but this woman effected a 100% improvement in my son before she even saw him, by suggesting a chart system that was not typical, in that it was about checking every hour to see if he was dry, rather than focusing on peeing or pooping, and incorporated a reward system that worked for my very--hard-to-reward child. This system took him from wetting all day to wetting once or twice a day, for the most part, and going dry many days, something he's almost never done. One of the best things about seeing this dr. was she was the first professional I've consulted (I won't even mention all the ''methods'' of potty compliance I've tried) who didn't scratch her head and say, ''Hmm, a 4 and a half year old who still wets, hmm, how unusual. I wonder what that's about.'' She said something like, ''Oh yeah, I see this all the time.'' And I felt, for the first time, not so alone and freakish. I decided to continue on with her to get my son fully diagnosed in preparation for public school. She costs a fortune but I have felt it's entirely worth it. I think as long as you don't expect the problem to be solved overnight (but do expect fast improvement) you might find great relief and help from a psychologist.
Susan

Meg Zweiback is the one for you. She's made a business of giving advice to parents and she's great. She's into short-term advice and is very balanced and non-judgmental. I believe her special skill is potty training.
Recommend Meg

We saw a behavioral specialist when our daughter was having a problem w/ constipation at age 3. The psych. actually worked with us on potty training -- which had not been going very smoothly up to that point -- as a response to the constipation issue (it's all about control - sigh). It did help for both problems. Now if we could just get out of those night diapers... Hope this helps
elisabeth

The opinions and statements expressed on this website are those of parents who subscribe to the Berkeley Parents Network. Please see Disclaimer & Usage for information about using content on this website.