Child is Afraid of Toilets
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Child is Afraid of Toilets
June 2006
My 2y9m old daughter has been pottytrained for probably going
on 6 months now. In the last few weeks, she has developed a
horrible fear of certain unfamiliar, typically public,
toilets. When we're out she will tell me she has to go, but
once we get in the bathroom she says the toilet is scary and
that she wants to hold it, all the while holding herself and
doing the ''potty dance.'' This is for both pee and poop. I'm
usually only out and about with her on the weekends and our
nanny says she's fine with the particular toilet they use next
to the park they go to during the week. I've tried going first
to show her it's not scary and various ways of holding her over
the toilet, but neither has had much effect. Last weekend we
were in a store and she had to go so badly but refused and I
finally convinced her to let me hold her over the sink (totally
gross, I know, but I was desperate and I washed it out really
well w/ soap and water after). We certainly don't want to make
a habit of that, especially since my husband found her sitting
on the sink at home the next day. I've been able to figure out
that automatic flushing, aka ''magic potties,'' as well as ones
with seats that are split in the front are definite deal
breakers, but sometimes ones that look just like home are no
good too. I'm sure this is just a phase that will pass, but in
the meantime I would love some advice from any of you who have
been through this.
Do you have one of those potty-toppers? The little seats that make the hole
smaller? There are folding ones that have Sesame Street characters on them. Maybe
a special trip to the store (Babies R us has them and Target doesn't) and then using
it on the potty at home would help. I have also heard of parents bringing post its to
put over the sensor of the automatic flush toilets so they don't go off right away.
anon
June 2006
My 3.5 year old boy has been potty trained for almost 3 months
now. It took a long time for him to get over being afraid of
the potty chair and the potty at his pre-school, but he finally
did. Unfortunately, he is afraid of any other potty, or even
walking into a bathroom (restaurants, stores, relatives' homes,
etc.) He becomes extremely frightened and screams when we've
tried to take him into a ''foreign'' bathroom. Recently, we went
on an all-day outing, and he held his pee for over 12 hours! (he
was extemely miserable and uncomfortable). We even put a diaper
on him towards the end of the day, and he refused to go pee in
it. We've tried talking to him calmly and explaining things,
etc. to no avail. We have several trips planned for this
summer, and I'm getting anxious since things are not improving
(I have 2 other kids, so we don't want to cancel our trip). Has
anyone had problems like this with their kids? Any advice would
be appreciated!
tired mama
This doesn't solve the entire problem, but my nephew who has a
really hard time with the noise that commercial toliets make
when they flush, loves to pee standing up outside (how great to
be a guy). Obviously, this is not appropriate every where...but
for long road trips or any outdoor excursions it might be do-
able for him; dare I say even fun?
anon
Our three-year old daughter (potty trained for six months)
doesn't like strange toilets either (she doesn't like using the
toilet period...but that's another story). When we're out and
about and I can tell she has to go, I just tell her that Mommy
has to go to the potty. She watches me go, ''helps'' me by getting
me some toilet paper, and then flushes the toilet for me. Then I
just tell her it's her turn and help her on the potty. I try to
treat it more like a game then a trip to the potty. This game
didn't work the first few times I tried it (and still sometimes
doesn't work), but if she says she doesn't need a turn, I just
say okay and don't mention the potty again. And, yes, sometimes
she will hold it for hours on end. Though I worry for her
comfort, I've discovered that continuing to coax her into using
the potty just doesn't work for her. She's determined to go when
she wants, so I just let her be and stay as close as I can to a
restroom so we don't have to run very far when she tells me she's
ready. You might also try bringing along one of those little
portable potty seats that fits right on top of the toilet. That
was a life-saver for us on a recent road trip. We tried the seat
out first at home before using it in a public restroom so it
seemed to her like we were bringing her own seat with us. Good luck!
loo-loo
Get a potty chair that you keep in the car. Use a plastic bag
fo a liner. Soon enough he'll relax about the strange toilets
Joan
I am afraid I don't have any real tips except the basics: go over what everything is,
what the sounds are, offer to let him and step outside while you flush for him so the
sound doesn't scare him, and such things as that. BUT I should warn you not to take
him out on an ''all-day outing'' until this problem is solved. Holding himself for 12
hours is very bad for his health, mentally and physically, besides being extremely
painful! This is very important
Anon
Public restrooms are scary! My boy is almost 3 and short for
his age so he can't reach the regular potty and wouldn't even if
he could. Our solution-we let him go pee outside if we are out
and about. Of course we make sure it's a hidden area.
At first I had problems with this approach but then I talked
with a couple friends of mine who had boys and they did the same
thing. It depends on your comfort level if you want to try it and
of course on his. Good luck-
michelle
I think this is not uncommon, with my son, also recently potty
trained (more or less), I had a potty in the car for a while
and I also carried around a large purse with one of those cushy
toilet seats you get for little ones in a plastic bag and
whenever he needed to go voila it was like being at home (I
just washed it (almost) each evening). This helped a lot and
now we don't even need to take it along... also we still let
him pee in the street off the side walk or against a tree he
has fun seeing which direction his peepee will travel or aiming
at stuff, very sweet. Best of luck I hope this will help you.
If you do get one of those seats though be sure to get one with
a ring all around the bottom for stability
Kelly B
Maybe your child is afraid of those automatic toilets that make a very
loud (and scary) sound.
I am taking care of a little girl who is going through potty training. She is
scared of other toilets. Her parents think that some of those newer flush
models and automatic toilets scare her.
Talk to your son and listen to him.
Rachel
My son was afraid of the loud flush until he was 5. So, he would ask me
to flush the toilet after he was done, while he waited outside the door.
He has gradually overcome the fear himself, but I do remember that fear!
G
My 3.5 year old is now fully potty trained, and as we will be
taking a lot of road trips this summer I found for a portable
toilet. I really like the On the Go Potty by Pottette. I
bought mine at an out of town store, but I found a link on the
web. http://www.kidsurplus.com/kal1730.html
We keep one in the car, and one in the stroller for long
outings. That way, if we are not near an actual toilet or a
tree, he can still keep his pants dry. He has no qualms about
peeing in public, and even once sat on the toilet, to no
avail. What I like about this product, is that it is very
small, has absorbent liners (with the mini bjorn potty you
would have to figure out where to dump the pee), and is not too
expensive. If your son liked it, you could even take it into a
restroom and use it there. We have only used it a couple of
times, but it has been very convenient. SOmeone told me that
extra liners can be made with plastic grocery bags and cheap
maxi pads.
1 kid down, 1 to go
I think you should go on your vacations. Our daughter didn't
use the toilet in public places. We always had to go home so
she could go there. But when we went out of town recently, she
obviously had no choice but to use public toilets. So she did.
It might work for you, too
July 2005
My daughter will be 3 years old this month. She is almost
completely potty trained except for one thing: she is terrified
of the adult-sized toilet. She will only go in her little potty
at home. When we are out, she refuses to use public toilets. I
tell her that she doesn't have to sit on the big potty if it
frightens her, but she does have to put on a pull-up just in
case. Then, she refuses to put on a pull-up! I either end up
forcing the pullup on her (not fun), or just hoping she can hold
it till we get home. This puts a strain on any kind of outing.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can ease her into using the
adult-sized toilet? I should also mention that she has a 5 yr
old sister who she idolizes (I have tried the ''don't you want to
be big like your sister'' thing and it doesnt work) and that she
is a very strong-willed child.
Have you tried the potty inserts that make the opening smaller?
Your child could pick out the character she likes as an incentive to use
it (Toys-r-us, Target, Wal-Mart). They also make travel ones (though
not as nice). She could also pick out her step-stool to help her reach
the much taller toilet at home. Maybe formally introduce her to the
toilet, let her watch what happens when it is flushed, hold on to her
while she flushes it, maybe let her take her ''pee'' from the little
potty and dispose of it in the big potty, and also be sure to ask her
why she is so afraid of it so you can address her concerns. I also had
to hold on to both of my children until they got good at holding on
themselves.. One thing that I didn't anticipate when my son finally sat
on the big potty was that automatic public toilets can flush when the
child is still on it and it scares the begeezers out of them. Be sure
to cover the sensor and let her know that you are doing it so that there
is no possibility it will flush while she is on it and you can flush on
your/her terms...
Mom of a 3yo afraid of the auto-flush
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