Advice about Pee
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Advice about Pee
We have a very big problem: our girl is 3yrs.10 months old and started preschool in
Fall 2005. She became very interested in boys penices, although she is also very
interested in pregnant women and nursing babies. Since several weeks she started to
pee in standing as a boy. We tried everything, took her dools, offered her chocolate
she pees as a ''lady'' (as our pediatrician suggested). Nothing is helping. I want
this now, before it becomes a habit. We do not think that this is connected to
homosexuality, it is more of a chalenge to her.
She is also resisting to start having bowel movements on the toilet and wants to have
diapers. During the nights she has also diapers. Please help!
I wouldn't worry about it. Just let her do it and she will
naturally stop. I remember doing this as a child for a short
time; my sister and I thought it was funny. We probably did it
for a week or two and then stopped. Your daughter knows it bugs
you, however, so she'll probably keep up with it until she senses
it's not a big deal.
What's the problem with letting her pee like ''a boy''? Don't you wish it were more
convenient for women to pee? It's perfectly normal for kids in preschool to mimick
the peeing behavior of others at school, including the opposite sex. Seems like
battling with her and bribing are just making her more entrenched and uping the
ante! Kids often go to war with their parents over elimination, it's one of the only
things they can control that their parents can't! I would bet if you dropped the whole
thing it would sort itself out in time.
wish I hadn't battled with my 3 1/2 year old over potty training years ago
who wants to pee like a lady? Most women don't sit on the seat when not at home,
but instead hover uncomfortably and sprinkle on the seat. Lid up and standing
sounds like a better plan. I tried as a small girl, but made a mess the first time
then gave-up. they do make women's urinals, and women are apparently
biologically capable of aiming their pee. Boys must learn to poop sitting yet pee
standing, so I don't see how your daughter's b.m. withholding would be any
different than for a boy.
Wish I could pee standing
Don't worry. That may sound patronizing but really don't worry. I am a pediatrician
I would never suggest to someone that their 4 year old should ''act like a lady'';
does that mean to a 4 year old? In addition the more attention you give this the more
your child will realize that this act elicits a strong response in mommy. That is a
reason for her to continue to do it. Try lightening up the tone and see what happens
you may find she is acting like a four year old.
I think that you should just ignore this. At that age, kids are often trying out what
it's like to be the other gender, dressing up, etc. At that age, my son would insist
that he was a girl and would introduce himself using a girl's name instead of his
own. He would go out with me wearing my clip-on earrings and try on my shoes at
home. After 4 or 5 months, it was over. I'm afraid that the more of an issue you
make of this, the worse it may become. I would tell her that if she makes a mess on
herself or in the bathroom (as I bet it does- I can't imagine how she can do it
without getting something wet) she has to help clean it up. It's only fair and that
may speed up her willingness to give it up.
I don't really understand the problem... is it that it causes a
mess? If so, maybe have her clean up after herself each time,
and explain that if she pees sitting down, there's no mess to
clean up, and she'll eventually get sick of having to clean up.
If it is just that it doesn't seem right to you, I would just say
that she's experimenting and would benefit from not being kept
from the experimentation. She'll eventually go back to sitting
This may not be what you want to hear, but I don't see the
problem with her peeing like a boy for the time being, unless
it's REALLY messy because she's not very good at it and/or her
preschool won't let her do it. If neither of these are a
problem, then, why not let her pee like a boy until she's tired
of it? What a great skill to have when packbacking later in
life, too! If you want her to stop, though, I think you just
need to ignore it; it sounds like she's getting an awful lot of
attention for doing it (offers of chocolate, attention from
you, the pediatrician, etc.), and you'll have to let that
attention go before she tires of it. Four-year-olds like
attention, even negative attention (although it doesn't sound
like it's very negative in her eyes) and they like to control
things as much as possible, both of which she is experiencing
in doing this. So just let her do it and I imagine she will go
back to the easier way once she's not getting any attention for
it. If it's messy, have her clean up after herself -- at 4
years old she's old enough to do that, followed by a good
handwashing. That might make her tire of it faster, too.
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