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My 25-mo-old son has been potty-trained for six months (during the days) and two months (overnights, with one potty-sit at midnight or so). Lately (the past three weeks or so), he is peeing in the bed, despite me getting up at 12:30 or so to put him on the potty. Sometimes, he will still be dry when we wake up in the AM (7:30 or so), but by the time we finish our morning nursing, he has peed.
I have asked him if he would like to wear diapers while he sleeps again (in a very ''no big deal'' way), and he is very vehement that he doesn't want to. We have family bed, so the laundry is starting to get overwhelming! (Washing king sheets twice a week really hogs up the washer.)
I was thinking of putting him on the potty at 12:30 and then setting my alarm for 3:30 as well, and I am okay with the interruption of sleep. I am wondering how other folks have managed this? Specifically, I am wondering if by starting to set the precedent of waking him up twice per night, then he will start to get used to it and it will stick for years? Many thanks! wet mama
Hi, I saw the responses about a 2 year old wanting the pullup only to poop, and I remembered my problem. My 2.5 year old daughter is toilet trained except for the night time and we usually have her wear a pullup at night. Of late, however, she has been refusing to wear one. Im not sure why that is, but I think it has something to do with the fact that only the younger kids wear pullups at her montessori. Its leading to a lot of laundry loads and sometimes when she doesnt wake up immediately when she wets herself, Im concerned that being cold and wet may result in a cold. Has anyone else experienced this? Any ideas on how I can handle this? Thanks a lot in advance! V.
Need some insight from other parents.
We potty-trained our son shortly after his 2nd birthday, largely because he just hated wearing diapers. It was a struggle to change him! He has truly done well during the daytime, but nighttime is completely hit or miss.
I have read so many things: Don't let them drink several hours before they go to bed vs. Let them drink whenever, even as they are trying to fall asleep... Don't put them in diapers ever again vs. Letting them pee the bed will make them become chronic bed wetters...Wake your child up at 11p.m. and take them to the potty vs. Don't take them to the potty, because they will never learn to take the initiative themselves....
What has worked for others? Currently, we are washing a lot of sheets but talking with our son every morning if he woke up dry or not. If we do opt for a ''non- diaper'' type nighttime option, are there any non-disposable options out there that truly absorb a lot of pee?
Any wisdom, direction, even a funny story would be most welcome... Thank you. -Mama to an energetic 2.5 year old
After considering all the options, I just put him in disposable overnights and let him (and us parents) sleep. I told him that someday his body would learn not to pee at night, and until then he would wear the overnights -- and he was OK with that. It never interfered with his using the toilet in the daytime. And it saved us all a lot of stress. I don't know if there are any non-disposable options out there -- for me, I figured the water and energy saved from sheet-washing was worth the relatively small addition of a single night diaper to the landfill. Expedient, perhaps... I don't know. Karen
For a number of months, our 2.5-year-old son has been potty
trained during the day and wearing a diaper just at bedtime.
The past few weeks, though, he has been waking up in the middle
of the night and screaming for someone to take him to use the
potty. He still sleeps in a crib so this is not something he
can do himself (plus, at 2.5 y.o., I don't really think he has
the physical skills to get up in the middle the night, take off
his pajamas, use the potty--even a little training potty in his
room--and get back into bed). Although it seems a little
counter-intuitive to encourage him to use his diaper at night,
we've told him it's okay to pee in his nighttime diaper, but he
still cries out to be taken to the bathroom. We've tried
limiting liquids in the evening and stopped letting him take a
sippy of water into his crib, to no avail. We've also tried to
outlast him, figuring if we don't take him to the potty right
away, he'll have no choice but to use his diaper, but this
feels a little cruel and hasn't been terribly successful (it's
amazing how long he can hold it at 2:00 in the morning while
screaming his lungs out, whereas at 2:00 in the afternoon I
have about 30 seconds to get him to a bathroom!). I'm
reluctant to wake him and take him to the bathroom when we are
going to bed for fear that he won't go back to sleep. Any
ideas?
We thought the midnight wakings were long gone
Did you see the note below yours about the 5 year old still wearing pullups? Do you really want to prolong this so that you don't have to wake up at midnight? I can't figure out why anyone would want their child to pee in a pullup when the child WANTS to be potty trained. Again, it's not a problem. It's a success. anon
Background: Our daughter is two and a half, and she's semi- toilet trained. She has been out of diapers during the day for about five months, and at night too (for the last month); she lets us know when she needs to go, we accompany her, and give her a hand with getting on to the toilet and wiping. She doesn't use a training potty, we just started her on the adult potty. Also, we recently switched her from a crib to a toddler bed, so she's just starting to realize she can get out of bed by herself.
Situation: Before she was toilet trained, she used to sleep through the night just fine. But these days, she typically wakes up between 2-4 times in the middle of the night and ''asks'' us to take her to the potty. (Sometimes by the 3rd or 4th time there's hardly any pee, only a few drops.) I say ''asks'' because she actually tends to wake up crying or yelling ''potty''. We would love her to go on her own, but she's so used to our taking her that she refuses. We think everything is set up for her to go by herself - her room is right next to the bathroom, there's a footstool, and there's a nightlight in the bathroom (but not her room). We tell her when we put her down that if she wakes up, she has to go by herself, but we still end up helping her - so thus far we haven't really backed up our words.
Advice needed: My wife wants us to go cold turkey and not get up to help, letting our daughter realize she has to go by herself, even if it means a few accidents. I'm worried she could hold it in and hurt herself, and that it may also result in a regression in toilet training. I'd prefer to try to gradually help her less both during the day and night, so that she becomes completely independent, and going by herself will become no big deal. But perhaps this might just perpetuate the current state? Thanks in advance for everyone's help.
Our 2 year 10 month daughter has been potty trained during the day for about 6 months. She's now initiated nap and nighttime potty training, refusing to wear a diaper or pull-up. Because of this, she often wakes up crying during the night when she has a full bladder. We tried initiating a sticker system - every time she gets up and goes potty without waking mommy or daddy she gets to put a sticker on the piece of paper we've taped next to the toilet. When she fills all the squares, we get to go to the toy store and she picks out a potty prize. This worked well for a week or so, and she ended up with one prize, but she seems to have gone back to crying and waking us. Sometimes it's only once a night, other nights it's 3 times. I thought maybe if she saw her portable potty when she woke it would be more successful than walking to the bathroom (which is only one room away from hers), so we then tried putting her little potty right next to her bed, with the stickers and sheet posted next to that. This also hasn't worked. I think she's just too tired and in that sleepy haze to remember what she needs to do.
Before this self-initiated nighttime training began, she consistently slept through the night since she was 9 months old.
I'm looking for other advice/ideas. I'm happy she wants to be trained at night, but the 2-3 times per night is making me a cranky mom, especially now that our 8 month old is sleeping through the night. nap times are not as much of a concern since she doesn't wake us and her nap usually just gets cut short if she has to go potty. I do try to limit liquids at night, but she does tend to be thirsty before bed.
Has anyone been successful with other incentives or ideas? Or is this just something that time will work out?
thanks!
need a few nights of uninterrupted sleep
Hi, I saw the responses about a 2 year old wanting the pullup only to poop, and I remembered my problem. My 2.5 year old daughter is toilet trained except for the night time and we usually have her wear a pullup at night. Of late, however, she has been refusing to wear one. Im not sure why that is, but I think it has something to do with the fact that only the younger kids wear pullups at her montessori. Its leading to a lot of laundry loads and sometimes when she doesnt wake up immediately when she wets herself, Im concerned that being cold and wet may result in a cold. Has anyone else experienced this? Any ideas on how I can handle this? Thanks a lot in advance!
Hi everyone, I am looking for suggestions on how to help my daughter stay dry at night. She is 3 years old (and I realize this is on the young side for this) but has been daytime potty trained for about a year now. She recently told me that she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore, but wants to wear underwear at night. She is never dry in the morning, but recently has been going to the bathroom just upon awakening, and it is a good amount of urine, so I know she CAN hold it when she's asleep- I'm just not sure for how long... The second issue is that she has always worn cloth diapers, and currently cannot undo her diaper by herself. Does anyone have good suggestions for cloth type pull-ups? I'm okay with washing diapers still, but she seems ready to move on... Thanks Have a big girl now
For the past few weeks my almost 3 year wakes at night to go pee.
He is still in a crib so we have to get up with him. He has been
potty trained since 2 1/2 except at nighttime. He goes right back
to sleep however occassionally he wakes up his brother in the
same room. It also often takes me a while to go back to sleep. We
have wondered about moving him to a bed, but still think he will
cry out for us to help him in the middle of the night. Prior to
this his diapers were almost always wet at night - now they are
dry. He generally doesn't get any milk before bed but does drink
water in the evening. Is this something he will just outgrow? Any
advice??
tired mama
The standard advice in this situation, I believe, is to wake your child to use the potty just before YOU go to sleep. Then there's a better chance the child will make it till morning. Restrict liquids before bedtime. You might also try a regular bed - your child may learn from you how to go use the potty by himself at night.
But from my perspective, I wouldn't try to discourage night time potty visits, because once they start going in the pull up at night, it's difficult to get them to stop. anon
Our three year old twins are doing well with day-time potty training but bedtime is becoming a circus. If they are not quite settled down at bedtime (which happens a couple of times a week if they happen to nap that day) they get up several times after lights are out and tell me they need to go. These trips drag out bedtime to 10pm as we pace back and forth to the potty.
Like I said, once in a while they seem to need that nap and then I have to extend bedtime a half an hour or more, past 9pm. We have a set routine that includes potty time before bed but if they say they need to go after lights out, I feel I always need to treat that seriously. They do go, even if just a few trickles, about 80% of the time after lights out. Also, if they need to go after lights out, we don't turn up the bathroom light much, I don't allow more books, and I just put them back into bed (as opposed to kisses and hugs which have already gone round).
But also, because they are not night time potty trained, they still wear a diaper to bed, so the extra trips to the potty not only drag out bedtime but I'm putting back on diapers 3-4 times per kid (that's eight re-diaperings in about 30 minutes). Whew my back!
Is this a phase (to drag out the bedtime ritual) that will pass or are there tricks I can use to get them to go potty and also think they are done? I don't want give them a message they cannot get up to use the potty so I'm a bit stumped. Potty mama
My son is 3.3 years old and has been out of diapers since he was 2.5 years old. He sleeps like a rock and becomes EXTREMELY irritable when awoken ''before his time.'' When do I know he's ready to stop wearing diapers at night/nap? How do we get him to stop wearing diapers during his sleep? I have seen him sleep through wet clothes and sheets so I don't think that it would motivate him to not pee in bed. We already try to limit his liquid intake and make him pee before bedtime. Is there any way to train him without waking him up in mid-slumber? He now has occasional dry diapers in the morning but they're mostly wet. Any tips would be helpful- thanks. eugenie
We didn't do anything special... just continued with that. Today he told me, ''Mama, Friday is the last day that I'll wear a pull-up. AFter that I'm going to wear underwear to bed.'' We did have a week or so where he wore underwear to bed about 2 months ago and stayed dry, then after a night where he wet his underwear he started asking for a pullup again. Lately though his pullups have been dry every morning.
So I guess what I'm saying is that we've entirely left it to him (of course, getting excited with him about being dry in the morning, but otherwise no pushing one way or the other)... and he's on his way to night potty-training himself. will be happy when he can take himself to the potty though!
It's quite common for boys to have a hard time w/ bed wetting at night. Our other son, who's in his teens, wet his bed at night at least once a week until he was 12. According to the Nat'l Kidney Foundation, that's totally normal in boys. Even waking him up at night didn't help, and other things we'd heard said that was bad to do as you interrupt their deep sleep regularly. Small bladders and other conditions in boys are also common, and for older kids there are bladder stretching excersises that your doctor should be able to teach him. anon
Contrary to what someone has said, your son IS potty trained even if he is not dry at night and he very well might not be ready to ''learn to wake himself up or hold his pee.''
He has no control of what his body does when he's sleeping and pushing the issue might lead to worse problems. My advice, let it go and he will be dry at night when his body is ready to be dry. Good luck! Jen
Help with advice for best night time disposable for a 3.5 y/o boy whose diaper overfills/leaks often. He pees before bed and has milk 1/2 bfr bed. Any recomendations so that we are not waking up at 4:30 and 5:00 with wet jammies? Thanks
Hello, Our 2 3/4 year old daughter is potty trained, but still uses a pull up or diaper for nap and night time. We just did this because that's what we saw friends of ours with older children do. Recently we had some friends over who have a 3 1/2 year old who said we should've stopped diapers cold turkey at all times when she potty trained .Do any of you have advice on transitioning out of diapers for nap and night time? Thanks so much!
Also, we encourage our daughter to drink lots of water all day. We know we will have to do a better job of tapering this off at night, but with the heat and her high activity level, we have let her drink what she wants. Monitoring your child's fluid intake may be something that works for you, but I think 2 3/4 is pretty young to be completely potty trained. Elizabeth
I think 2 3/4 is pretty young to be dry at night. My boy trained during the daytime quite early (about 22 months) but he's now 3 1/2 and just recently stopped nighttime diapers (naptime diapers stopped at about 2 3/4). It's a big challenge and there are still lots of accidents, and most of my friends are telling me that's too young!
What ended up happening for us is that at naptime he was quite often dry afterward, so we just stopped using them. Bedtime happened when there was a miscommunication and nobody put him in a diaper one night, and he woke up dry. After that, we used a reward system (stay dry seven nights and get Bob the Builder underwear) that worked just fine. Anon
My 4 year old son wets his bed several nights a week. I realize this is common at his age, but the problem is that we can't find a diaper to contain the urine. He often wets through the diaper and wets his sheets and blanket. We use Huggies Goodnites (pull-up types of diaper). He is 42 lbs, and that is the only brand that I have found in his size. Are there any inserts out there to help absorb the urine? I've started putting in maxi pads, but is there another option? Thanks. anon
Put a crib protector on his bed over the bottom sheet (one of those diaper pad things you put in a crib to protect the crib mattress...they are absorbent and leak proof. Then put a large beach towel folded in half over that. This way, if his diaper leaks it will wet the towel and possibly the pad, but not the sheets and everything. Much easier to change the towel and let the pad dry out (unless very wet in which case it may also need to be washed) than to change the sheets and everything. Make sure you put something over the crib pad...they are very cold (I tried napping with my child once and forgot the towel...couldn't stand the crib pad).
Also, with my daughter, she could not wear diapers at night after she was potty trained...they tended to give her diaper rash (the doc said it was because she wasn't wearing them during the day and her skin was no longer as ''tough'' as it was). So, I started taking her to go to the potty when I went to bed (around 11pm) or when I woke to go to the bathroom in the night. I would carry her from bed to the bathroom (still asleep), sit her on the toilet and shake her a little and tell her to pee. She would usually wake up a little, pee then immediately fall back to sleep. Another friend of mine who's child weighs more than mine, walks her child to the bathroom kind of in front of her between her legs. I did this with my child too...she is really mostly still asleep but I could get her to walk to the bathroom usually. You have to wait until about 2 hours after they first go to bed...if I tried to do this with my daughter too soon, she was just too deeply asleep to go potty. But usually, in the middle of the night, she was able to do this.
This usually prevented any bed-wetting that night. I did this for about 1 year. I would try every once in a while to skip and see if she was able to hold it yet. Eventually she no longer needed this. Good Luck Anon
So now we wait until he's solidly asleep, and then yank his pullup back up, making sure nothing is sticking out and his pjs aren't tucked in to it either. No more wet sheets! anon
Recently, my 4 yr old son has ''graduated'' from pull-ups at
night. For two weeks all went well. He woke up at night and went
to the bathroom if he needed to. Then all of a sudden it's been
a bed wetting bonanza EVERY single night - in our bed and his
bed (sometimes he sleeps with us). We try to make sure he pees
right before bedtime, and are no limiting how much milk he
drinks. Nothing traumatic or unusual has occurred in his life
over the past few weeks to bring about the bed wetting. Is this
normal? Should we go back to those expensive pull-ups?
Tired of washing sheets everyday
P.S. I don't know if this makes any difference, but she is the oldest, and has a 2.5 year old younger brother. She was not potty trained before he was born; became potty trained about 9 months after he was born; he is almost potty trained now (wears diapers only at night). The bed-wetting has been going on with her, off and on, ever since she started wearing underwear. It is not a new/recent development.
Our pediatrician says don't worry or even do anything until she's five--some children's bladders are just not physically mature enough to last the night. I don't know if we're doing the right thing--I just have my fingers crossed that she'll outgrow it. We've encouraged her to try to stay dry and offered the reward of getting to wear panties, but whenever we've tried the panties the bed ends up wet. Mostly we haven't made a big deal about it, and, for better or worse she doesn't seem to mind wearing the diaper or be embarrassed about it. We did buy a vinyl mattress cover for her futon at Sears which simplifies life when she wants to try panties. I know this information may not be very helpful, but maybe you should try consulting your pediatrician by phone before taking your daughter in. If the doctor says just wait till nighttime dryness happens, then you might spare your daughter some embarrassment. On the other hand, if anyone has any techniques that have helped children this age stay dry, I'd like to hear them!
Your pediatrician should be aware of this, of course, though it's probably not a sign of anything serious. If s/he wants to examine her, s/he probably should. A phone call certainly wouldn't hurt, and with cold season coming on you'll probably have more than one occasion to bring your daughter in anyway! Of course you could take the bull by the horns and tell your daughter, "I know you don't want to see the doctor about this, but this is the kind of thing we have doctors for."
Both our children, around the age of seven, licked the problem once and for all by using an alarm (Sleep-Dry is one brand name). I want to emphasize that this tactic has to be the child's choice--if it's forced on them it probably won't work and will probably do more harm than good. It's important that this be THEIR battle, project, challenge, whatever.
Another tactic that might be good is the use of "chucks"--absorbent disposable sheets, about 2 x 3 feet, with waterproof backing; they're used a lot in hospitals, and I think you can get them at most drugstores. They protect the bedding but aren't as intrusive (or humiliating) as a diaper.
My husband and I are thinking about putting her back into diapers or pull-ups at night, but since she hasn't worn them for over a year I am concerned that she will somehow feel disgraced or punished by wearing them at night (our concern is more for keeping the bed dry!).I think if you present this to her in just that light, she'll understand it that way. I mean, you should specifically say, "This is not a punishment or anything bad--it's just something to help you keep the bed dry."
Good luck. Learning to keep the bed dry is a bit of childhood learning that is consistently underrated, when you think of what we ask the brain/mind to do: relax, lose consciousness, dream--but remember this one thing . . . . [My children would probably prefer that this remain anonymous!]
How do you potty train a child at night when you've missed the window? my daughter was potty trained very easily the minute she turned 2. At the time, her pull-ups at night were mostly dry. She seemed so young that there didn't seem any urgency to potty training her at night, and my husband and I just couldn't face waking up in the middle of the night to change the sheets, so we left the pull-ups on at night. Fast forward two and a half years. Her pull- ups are wet every morning and have been for at least a year. She doesn't feel it anymore, and so when we let her go without pull-ups, she sleeps in soaked pants and soaked sheets without waking up. I can wake her up to pee in the middle of the night and she will still soak the bed, and sleep soundly through it. At this point she wants to start doing sleep-overs and I am finally realizing that we have a deadline here to get her potty-trained at night. How do you potty train someone at night once you've missed the window and they have become de-sensitized? Do we have to go the route of getting an alarm? tired mom
Another thing could be sleepover discussions. Tell her she can't have a sleep over until she can go 1 week with no pull up at night. That might help along with no drinking before bed. djb
But if you want to try for nighttime dry, then yes, get an alarm. If your child is ready it works very quickly, though not without some effort on your part. Lots of useful info: http://www.drgreene.com/qa/bed-wetting http://www.drgreene.com/qa/how-do-bed-wetting-alarms-work
We're waiting for summer, when there's no need to get up on time for school, to use the alarm on our 5 year old daughter. It took only a couple of weeks with her older brother and he's been dry all but one or two nights in the last 6+ months. Keeping the Diaper Pail a While Longer
They need to wake themselves up when their body notices that they need to pee. The alarm does that. It wakes them up right after they pee. Eventually they learn to get up first. If anything you want to have them drink before bed so they learn quicker.
We got the kind that attached to their undies. That works better than one under the sheet. When it goes off, you get up, take them to the bathroom, they change their clothes and you change the sheets. We used two sets of sheets with a waterproof pad in between. That way we could just take off the wet sheets, put them in the washing machine, take off the waterproof pad and rinse that in the tub. Then get our kid (and us) back to sleep as soon as possible.
For one of our kids it worked after a week. Our other took a little longer and had a couple of relapses so we had to use the alarm again. Until they stay dry for 2 weeks with the alarm, keep using it.
I would suggest doing it in the summer when they can go to sleep with just a shirt and undies. Good Luck. The alarm works. Alarm Parent
Our 4.5 year old son (who is a deep sleeper) has suddenly
started wetting his bed at night, despite waking up once a
night to use the bathroom. He's been potty trained for a year
(daytime) and a half year (night time), so this seems strange
to us.
The only signifigant change in our lives was the birth of his
second sister (now 6 mo), and his regression seemed to last a
few months (but not now). He's very close to both of his
siblings so we don't think he's doing it to get attention.
We limit his drinks (no more after dinner, 6ish) and have him
use the bathroom before bed (8pm). We're also thinking about
waking him when we go to sleep 2-3 hrs later. Any other ideas??
Help!!
Frustrated
My son wet through age 5 and had occasional bedwetting with once or twice per year til 8 or so. I have friends whose kids wet past 7 and have heard that boys especially can go up til 10 and be within normal limits. Huggies finally started making large sizes after enough requests. My son had a friend sleep over twice who wet the bed: my only rule was that he put the bedding in the bathroom and crawl in to a dry bed. After the second time, I asked his mom to provide pull-ups that he could discreetly put on under his pyjamas, but she said he wouldn't wear them. Too bad.
One thing that seemed to help was that for quite a while, after we decided to give it another shot to night without pull-up, I would wake her up around 11:30pm or so and ask her to go to the bathroom which would ensure that the rest of the night would be dry. And there was no drinking from 1/2 hour before she was going to bed. It took some time (2-3 months), but it worked.
About the laundry...one strategy I've read about is to make up the bed with several layers of bedding, with waterproof layers in between. Then if the bed gets wet, you only have to strip off the wet layer, and the clean sheets are already ready to go. As for pajamas--how about sleeping "bottomless," or how about poly-propylene long-johns, which stay warm even if wet. Best of luck to you in coping with this--it will surely pass.
As for the deep sleepers, I have a friend whose 7 year old daughter had this problem and repeatedly wet her bed. His doctor suggested she stop drinking milk, as she may have some mild allergic reaction which made her sleep so soundly. Anyway, it worked -- I'm not sure I understand why!
I started taking my daughter to the bathroom several times a night to avoid changing the bed - she would not wake up through these visits to the toilet. This did not help. Then I was told (by my sister who is a nurse and did some research on the subject for her own children) that I actually needed to wake her up and take her to the bathroom and that this was the way to resolve her sleep disorder. I began to do that (not easy believe me) and she stopped wetting the bed every night within two weeks and within a couple of months did not wet the bed at all. When my son turned out to be a bed wetter also, I immediately began to wake him up a couple of times a night to go to the bathroom and his bedwetting was resolved shortly after he got out of diapers.
We have tried bribing him by toys and reward for staying dry and even took him to Disneyland when we thought he graduated from pull-ups during the summer. but alas...
Should we go back to using pull-ups? He hates wearing pull-ups and refuses wearing them, but I am afraid that sleeping in wet clothes may cause a cold or other problems. besides, it is not fun to wash linens every day. We have talked to him many times, but seems like he cannot control it.
I am also getting a little concerned because I not seen children over 4 with bed-wetting problem.
My son is going to turn four at the end of the year. He has day time potty training (and naps) completely down. He still needs a pull up at night, though. I've been trying to ease off liquids in the evening, but so far, nothing is working. He sleeps very hard, which is amazing (especially to me, an insomniac).
Does anyone have any tips/ideas? I haven't made it a huge priority so far, but I do mention things that he may be able to do when he's able to sleep in his undies. I believe they're called bribes.
Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks. Momma
Our daughter, just turned 4, is finally potty-trained except she still wears pull-ups at night. She wakes up wet 9 out of 10 times, but I suspect that she's wetting right when she first wakes up or is about to wake. My evidence for this is that one night she mysteriously removed her diaper (which was dry) and when I came in to her room to change her brother, she was dry. As soon as she started to wake up, she wet the bed. Also, when I send her in to use the toilet in the a.m., she often doesn't need to go. Suspicious, eh?
So, here's my question: She's still in a crib, but moving into a ''big girl'' bed after Christmas -- do I take the diapers off, put her on a rubber sheet and let her figure out that it's better to get up and go? Or do I wait until she starts waking up dry more frequently? There were a couple of times a few months ago when she woke up in the middle of the night saying she needed to go potty, but that hasn't happened since. I'm afraid to misstep here and would appreciate hearing other people's experiences with this. Thanks, elisabeth
Remember that YOU don't ''train'' her - she trains herself, and nothing anyone can do will force her to do what her body is not ready for. Four is not that old. Trust in her body's ability to decide for itself. Believe me: nobody likes waking up wet.
The canonical determining factor for ascertaining whether a child is ready to go diaperless at night is if she is dry every morning for a week. Don't do a thing until that happens on its own. Even then, expect a setback if anything upsetting or unsettling happens in life. Refer to those old standbys, Sears, Spock and of course Penelope Leach. A late bedwetter
Basically, our daughter goes to bed at 8 or 8:30, and then we go to bed at 10 or 11. I usually am up at least once in the night to drink something or pee, and at that point (usually about 2 or 3) I go pick her up and carry her to the toilet, where she basically ''sleep pees'', then I put her back in bed and she sleeps beautifully until pretty late (no bladder waking her up early).
If you go to bed later than that, you can simply do it before you go to sleep. The point is that with less pee in her during the night, she sleeps better (many nightmares are bladder- related), she sleeps later, and she doesn't do what she used to do, which is wake up with a bladder so full that she can't make it to the bathroom. Somehow sleep supresses the urge a bit, so if we don't lift her she goes longer than she would if she were awake, which means she simply can't hold it any more.
This method is not for everyone. Some people simply don't wake up at night, and to be honest there are some nights we forget to do it (and lately we are actually okay, she makes it). But if you are someone who wakes in the night anyway, or if you have a baby who wakes you or one of you goes to bed late, it works wonderfully! I don't know why more Americans don't do it. Heather
My 5 yr old daughter is still wetting her bed. Not every night, but on average every two or three nights. She is a very deep sleeper, so I'm certain it is something she cannot help. Does anyone know of non-disposable underwear that will help to contain the pee? I hesitate to use the disposable diapers like ''Goodnites,'' every single night, and I'm also not wanting to waste time/energy washing sheets so often. I'd like to try something like the Gerber training pants, but seems they only make them for toddlers (up to 3T). Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks. Sarah
My son is now five years old, and he has been potty trained for years. He trained pretty early, a litle past the age of two, actually, but he actually has pee accidents sometimes during the day, and he ends up really wet in the nightttime. What can we do to break this cycle? He just doesn't wake when the pee comes. I am looking for advice and suggestions on how to help him with this! Thanks!
I have spoken to two pediatricians about this. The first one said every year from the time our kid was 4 ''let's worry about it next year.'' She has three daughters, one of which was out of pull-ups at 4, one at 6 and one at 7 (not necessarily in that order). The second ped said it's very common and if it's still happening by the time our child is 7, then we can address it then.
I don't believe in limiting my kids fluid intake. And I'm not likely to ''lift'' in the middle of the night as I am a fairly sound sleeper myself, and that doesn't teach your child to wake up and go anyway, IMHO. Your son is still fairly young and I would advise to you to relax, let go of the stigma (because you and more importantly, he is not doing anything wrong) and wait a while to see what happens. He could eventually just do it on his own. anon
I know this may sound mean, but the idea is the kids are too deeply asleep to sense their bodies' cues, and the pee alarm trains them to start associating that feeling with needing to pee. With our son, the first few times the(totally safe and comfortable) alarm went off we had to go in there and wake him up and take him to the bathroom (usually he had already peed). Then we helped him change the sheets (it's important that the child participate, I learned). After that he woke up the next few times and was able to get most of the pee in the toilet. After two weeks he never peed again and we stopped using the alarm.
This solution isn't for everyone, and you might be wondering why anyone would put their child through that.. In our son's case, he wanted to be done with diapers for sleepovers. It may, in fact, help to have a motivated child.
p.s. I don't know whether or not this list allows specific recommendations, but we used the one mentioned here: http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&ref=96 We liked that the company provided a ''success chart'' and after 30 or so dry nights (symbolized by stars), we sent it in and they sent us back a ''star badge.'' That was neat for him. Leila
After about two months of this, he started waking up with a dry pull-up in the morning. He was very excited about switching to underwear at night, but we continued the lifting for another 6 months. Finally, during last Thanksgiving break, we decided to ''see what happens'' and after two non-consecutive nights of accidents, he has been dry ever since.
We opted for the lifting technique, as opposed to a bed-wetting alarm, because he shares a room with his sister and we didn't want it to wake her up, too.
I think that success really depends on the developmental readiness of the child, and there isn't a whole lot you can do about that. No matter what technique you use, if he isn't ready, it isn't going to work, and you will all end up frustrated, which isn't good for any of you. Stay positive! Good luck!
With sleep apnea, the bedwetting happens because the lack of oxygen and overabundance of carbon dioxide causes their hormones to get out of whack and this causes them to produce too much urine.
If he does have any of those symptoms, take him to his dr right away as sleep apnea is very destructive over the long term. With children it's usually the tonsils and/or adenoids which are too large and the child doesn't get enough oxygen when they sleep, which is critical for a developing brain and body (by the way some drs are not up on the latest studies and still recommend waiting and seeing - get a second opinion in that case). anon
During all of this time I just used pull-ups at night and told him ''his body'' needed to learn to wake up dry (to try to make it clear to him that it was nothing he was doing wrong). When the dry mornings started, I then started being sure he didn't have much to drink after 7:00 pm, and told him that when he had a week of dry mornings in a row, we would try it without the pull-up.
Within a very short time, he started waking up dry almost all the time. We then got a waterproof sheet, and started letting him sleep without the pull-up. And for a period of 3 or 4 months, we had maybe one accident a week. Now that he's almost 7, I don't believe we've had an accident for 6 months.
I basically think his bladder just needed to grow big enough to make it through the night. It's only been recently that he's woken up to go to the bathroom. And I don't think it's worth working too hard at it before the child starts waking up dry a fair bit of the time --everyone is just going to be frustrated. Karen
Our 5 year old son pees 4x a night! We don't know what to do,
our routine is to:
Stop liquids at 6:30, 7pm the latest (usually a glass of milk at
dinner).
Pee before we get ready for bed 7:30
Pee after books 8ish
Wake him up at 10:30ish to pee
Wake him up at 1ish to pee
Wake him up at 4ish to pee
Wakes up on own at 7ish to pee
If we don't wake him up he pees in his bed. They are full pees
and he is soaked from neck to toe. The other night he had 3
accidents in one night. Sometimes he will wake up on his own.
Any suggestions on how to get him to hold his pee or how to get
him to wake up on his own? We don't have any problems with our
younger daughter she can have water during the night and be fine.
too much pee pee
The most important thing to know is that kids can't help it, there's nothing they can do about it. It's not their fault. ThereMostly you just have to wait it out until their bodies/brains mature enough for them to stay dry.
You can also try one of the wetness alarms, but those can take a couple of months to work and often the parent is the one who is woken up and has to wake the child.
If it were me, I'd just put him in pullups at night until he starts waking up with a dry pullup. It will happen, just be patient and don't let it worry you. Your son has a lot of company. Jennifer
My 5 year old daughter is still wearing pullups for sleeping at night. I just don't know how to potty train her so she wakes up to go pee. She does wake up when she has a bowl movement but this happends anyway more during the day and is kind of rare at night. I know she is a deep sleeper because I can actually vacuum her room and she doesn't wake up from that. Her pullups are pretty much always wet in the morning and every once in a while it's actually so full that it leaks on the sheets. She does use the bathroom before she goes to bed and she told me that she wants to use the bathroom during the night when she has to go. We tried it without pullups for a while but the sheet where wet everytime. The last few days I also woke her up at around 11:30 pm to use the bathroom. She did pee but her pullup was still wet in the morning. I think she drinks a normal amount of water. I have to use the bathroom at least 3 times a night (weak bladder???) but my friends say that's a lot. I guess it's normal for me and maybe my daugher and I are just the typ of people who have to pee a lot. Does anybody have an idea how to potty train a five year old at night ? anon
Don't worry about your daughter's age and the fact that she is still not out of pullups at night. My own daughter was also a VERY HEAVY sleeper and no matter what I did - limit water, chocolate, sugar, wake her up multiple times a night - she would rarely have a dry morning. Her pediatrician never worried about it (but I did!) and kept telling me that she would eventually outgrow it which she did. Some kids outgrow this quickly and others do not (my daughter was 10 when she finally stopped wetting). It was a test of my patience, but like the doctor said she did outgrow it and is no longer wetting the bed. My best advice is not to worry about it and let your daughter's body figure it out. As long as we all got a good nights sleep was all that really mattered.
One thing that helped with the constant wet sheets was moving up to Goodnight's - they seem to be more absorbent than pull ups and fit better (more like underwear) so the leaking factor is less of a problem.
Good luck to your family from someone who has been there. anon
And you thank your lucky stars that you live now, when night- time pull-ups are readily available, instead of a generation ago, when you'd've been washing cloth pads and sheets all the time!
I've heard that devices like pee alarms can help, but really, it's too early for you to worry about it. Some kids (more often boys, but sometimes girls too) just aren't physically/neurologically ready to stay dry at night until they are 6 or 7 or 8 years old. Any push to train your 5yo now will only lead to stress and upset, for no purpose. Also still buying GoodNights
The brand we used was WetStop, but there are several to choose from online. The alarm has a moisture sensor that attaches to underwear and sets off an alarm to wake your child at the first sign of wetness. It helps your child learn to identify the sensations of needing to urinate while sleeping by waking them immediately. Sharon
My 5 year old daughter is trying very hard to stay dry at
night. (Although my husband and I initially suggested that she
try, this is now something that is very important to her and
not something we feel that strongly about because it seems that
she may not be ''ready''). Unfortunately, she is very determined
to sleep in underpants AND she is a VERY deep sleeper. About 3
nights out of 7 she wakes up wet. Over a year ago our
pediatrician mentioned that for children who really want to
sleep in underpants, but whose bodies are not waking them up
when they need to go pee, a ''bed-wetting alarm'' may
help ''train'' their bodies. Has anyone had experience using
these? How do they work? Are they likely to work for someone
who sleeps very heavily (through her younger brother
crying/screaming, through alarm clocks, etc...)?
tired of changing the sheets
We tried wearing underwear at night, but he just didn't seem to care if his bed was wet. He would just sleep right through it into the morning. I happened to be at the Ped's office for something else and saw a brochure for an alarm called Wet-Stop.
You attach one part of the alarm to the underwear and the speaker part
attaches to the shoulder of the pajamas. (All the pouches and velco
comes in the kit) When the sensor feels the wetness, the alarm sounds,
waking the child. At first the parent goes to the child and helps to
finish emptying the bladder, change underwear and go back to bed.
Eventually the child can do this alone. With my son, he taught himself
to just sleep through the night without needing to use the bathroom
until the morning. It took him about a week of being awoken, then a
couple weeks of occasional wakings and then permanently dry. I think
that in his case, he just didn't know how to stop the flow when he was
asleep. So, yeah, they do work. You can find the kind that we used at
www.palcolabs.com.
Sleeping Better
Follow the directions carefully and good luck!
We used one I found on the internet -- It had ''starry'' in the name, I can't remember the exact brand but I believe they were in Santa Cruz. I called them and they shipped it out immediately and we received it within a couple of days. happy dry nights
I do have to add that my daughter was 7 when we did this; some children just are not ready to be dry at night until that age. But if your daughter is motivated then you should give it a try, it really worked quite well for us in a matter of weeks. Glad we tried it
My 5 year old son has been toilet trained by day for almost 2 years but has NEVER had a dry night. He's still wearing pull- up's and shows no interest in giving them up. I'd hoped he'd have a few dry nights which would be the start to sleeping in underwear. Has anyone been through this? Should we start waking him up to pee, putting him to bed in underwear or continue waiting for him to show some readiness? All we've done so far is limit drinks in the evening, have him pee before bedtime and talk vaguely about rewards... Thanks! Tired of Pull-Up's
As a child I went through many silly privations (no water late in the day) and probably harmful recriminations (if you don't...) BUNK and a waste of time. Your kid is very likely a sound sleeper and needs help training to recognize the feeling of a full bladder and to have that sensation stimulate waking up. All you need in most cases is some classical conditioning which is what the bedwetting alarm provides.
A quick explanation to your child that he or she is a sound sleeper (a good thing probably) and the alarm is to help them learn how to wake when they need to use the toilet. It takes a little time but you can usually sense the progress as there are usually ''almost got it'' nights on the way to success... If your child has a scientific bent it might be interesting for them to keep a log of how it is going. This could give them more sense of control and efficacy.
Please do not make this a ''growing up'' issue if you can avoid it. If it is treated as a learning project like kicking a ball or drinking from a cup (you just develop a feel) you'll get farther faster with less of a downside.
Remember standing near your child as they climbed up and down stairs? They did so with greater and greater facility but still occasionally fell. You gave advice but they still had to do it over and over and get the sense in their body. Here you are again training a different part of the nervous system (and at a less convenient time of day, sorry to say, but the process is the same: they try, you give feedback and cheer.)
I wish someone had told this to my mom and dad. dry dad
Anyone out there with a 5 year old girl who goes through phases of regularly wetting her bed? She has had urine tests-- everything normal. No unusual stressors. The pediatrician says she will outgrow this, but in the meantime, any advice? Thanks!
My five year old still wears pull ups every night. He hasn't needed diapers since he was about 2 1/2 and is generally a pretty mature guy. I didn't want to work on his going without pull ups at night during the kindergarten transition, but now that that has happened I'm wondering when to do something and what to do. Also, he sleeps in a top bunk so I'm wondering if getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom will be more difficult for him. Should I keep waiting until he stops needing a pull up on his own, or try to do something to help him make this transition? Any advice? Anon
Hello, I'm not sure if this should concern me or not but I have a 5 1/2 year old who occassionally wets her bed at night. It happens maybe 1-4 times a month. She's a highly anxious kid and lots of things worry her. I'm not sure if this is a symptom of her anxiety. Anyway, I just wanted to know if this is a normal occurrence for a 5 1/ 2 year old. She's not too concerned about the bed wetting. We never reprimand. Any other bed wetters out there? When should I start to worry? When should I expect her to be completely potty-trained? Thought we were over potty-training
My healthy 5 1/2 yr. old daughter still uses "Good Nights"(the big kid version of Pull Ups), and has no interest in kicking the habit! And, she refuses to go to the bathroom before she goes to bed to reduce the chances of her peeing. The Good Night usually has been used by morning. I think she's afraid to try to go without a "diaper" though I've tried to make it a completely non-judgmental endeavor. She doesn't want to discuss this topic at all. Is this something that she'll grow out of? Thanks in advance for any responses.
My pediatrician also said that bladder size is a factor. As a child
grows her bladder gets larger and her sleep patterns change, all of
which contribute to fewer wet beds (or diapers).
Some friends in the same situation gave us a device called a Potty Pager
that they used with success. It is a pager-sized device that has a moisture
sensor and vibrates when it gets wet. I sewed a little pocket into her
underwear to hold it in place. She hated it because it woke her up, cried
and complained everytime we put it in her underwear, but within a couple
weeks she wasn't having any accidents and after that didn't have to wear the
device. She later said she liked wearing diapers better because she didn't
have to get up. I loved the thing because it put the responsibility on her -
if she took the Pager out after we put her to bed, she had to clean up the
accident. Now when she wants a big drink before bed, I make sure she
understands that she is responsible for getting up to go or cleaning up.
I know this is going to sound odd, but have you looked at the ADULT
diapers such as Depends? They are probably TOO large, but it's easier
to fold down something large than stretch something small...
How ridiculous is it for a 5-1/2-year-old girl to still be wearing diapers at
night? Is it fairly common, or unheard of? And how does one break the
habit? The diapers are definitely wet in the morning. Pullups seem silly to
me - just a different form of a diaper - or am I missing something about
them? Is there a way to use them that would be helpful? I'd appreciate any
ideas and suggestions!
A few caveats: your daughter may still be too young for a buzzer system. I
think it really works much better if the child is self-motivated, and 5 1/2
is still, I think, well inside the age when being wet at night is pretty
normal. Also, the first week or ten days, the parent has to get up with the
buzzer to make sure the child really goes to the bathroom. Our son was such
a sound sleeper that he would have just lain there with the buzzer by his
ear and never gotten up. Finally, there will be backsliding. The particular
product we had measured "success" as 30 consecutive dry nights. Our son
probably was dry 50% the first week, then went about 10 days in a row, then
15, then the full month. So it was about 2 months before we could "declare
victory" and stop using the alarm.
Since we borrowed our alarm, I can't tell you who sells them or what they
cost, just that it did work with a (then) 8-year-old.
David
My 6 year old daughter continues to wet the bed while
sleeping. She started almost a year ago. At first I did not
have her wear a pull-up, but I was tired of changing the
sheets, so now she must wear one everynight.
We have had discussions about her bedwetting. She says that
she does not want to get up and go to the bathroom and she
seems to like the idea of wearing a pull-up. She is also a
heavy sleeper and loves her bed and to cuddle. At one point my
husband was waking her up at midnightish to go to the bathroom.
This seemed to work, but it is not consistent.
I do not want to make a big deal out of this, because I know
eventually she will grow out of it and I do not want it to
affect her psychologically. However, she will be 7 at the end
of the summer and I am concerned she is getting to old to wet
the bed.
If anyone has any suggestions or experience w/bedwetting, it
would be appreciated.
Thanks,
-mm
Our 6 year-old (almost 7) daughter is on an all-time streak of
7 nights in a row with dry pull-ups. Her day-time potty
training was ''normal'', but she is a very heavy sleeper. Quite
frankly, I bribed her with prizes based on getting to 3, 4 & 5
nights and within a couple weeks she got to 5. Until then, it
just wasn't important to her. I do think she is getting a
little ashamed too, but as recently as 6 months ago she wore
pull-ups to a slumber party with no problem.
I still remember when she stopped needing a bed rail. One of
the first night w/o a bed rail, when she was no more than 3 or
4, she rolled out of bed and hit her head. Not that I
recommend that as an approach, but even though she is a very
heavy sleeper she never rolled out of bed or needed a bed rail
again! She continued to roll around IN bed, still does.
Motivation is more powerful than negotiation.
anon
After some research, we discovered that he
had serious obstructive sleep apnea. There is a documented link
between sleep apnea in children and bed wetting at these later
ages. (See Stanford Sleep Centers articles). After having his
tonsils and adenoids removed by Dr. Wesman at Children's
Hospital, our child can now get into the proper sleep cycles
which apparently allows the proper chemicals to reach the brain
signaling a full bladder. After the surgery, this problem has
miraculously disappeared. Our child has wet the bed once since
last August.
Interestingly, our 75 year old neighbor said that
her physician father removed her adenoids in Italy more than 60
years ago because she was an 8 or 9 year old bed wetter and the
problem went away. Look online under childhood sleep apnea and
bedwetting. There are quite a few articles with signs to look
for in your child. It seems like such a strange connection, but
it was really true in our case. Our child's life is so much
easier now that he is getting forty dry winks and I am able to
work on some much needed beauty rest!
mother of a previous bed wetter
My almost six yr old has been using the ''Good Nites'' pull-ups
every night for a few years now. Lately he has had leaks every
morning that end up soaking his bedding. I suspect that he is
sleeping with his hands down inside the pull-up, thus creating a
big enough gap for the urine to leak through. We're both
exhausted: he's awakened by this and can't go back to sleep; I
am already feeling zonked because I have a newborn. He is a very
deep sleeper and the waking-him-up-to-use-the-potty method
doesn't work with him. I'm not sure what else to do. I know
he'll eventually outgrow the problem but what do we do in the
meantime?
Soaked
Over a year ago I talked to her pediatrician about my daughter's
inability to wake up at night and go to the bathroom. My pediatrician
said that some children do not cycle through "light" sleep. So even if
my daughter's bladder is full, she won't wake up because she never is in
"light" sleep mode.
When she was younger (less than six years old), I just kept her in
pull-ups at night and didn't worry about it. But when she started having
long stretches of dry pull-ups at night, I started having her sleep
without them.
Now she very rarely wets the bed, but she still never wakes up at night.
I think that her bladder must have gotten to the point where it can hold
more, which is why she doesn't wet the bed. But the potential is still
there.
When she does wet the bed, it's usually because she had a lot to drink
in the evening or there's been some change in her schedule (like going
on vacation or to a party, etc.).
What I do is the following:
Since I never made a big deal about her wearing pull-ups at night, she
doesn't feel any stigma when she wears one at night, especially since
it's her decision, i.e., if she wants warm milk before bed, she has to
wear a pull-up.
If you have a heavy sleeper, and it sounds like you do, I'd recommend
pull-ups until she's older and her bladder is bigger. Also as she
matures, her sleep cycles will probably change, and she may be able to
wake up and go to the bathroom. But do talk to your pediatrician at
her next check-up or just call your pediatrician and talk about it over
the phone.
The thing to keep in mind is that it's not her fault if (1) she has a
small bladder and (2) is a heavy sleeper. Bedwetting is a drag, but
don't blame her for what she can't help.
My son wet the bed off and on till he was in his early teens.
He is a very deep sleeper and just couldn't wake up to pee. Over the
years we tried the buzzer (woke us
up but not him) withholding liquids (no effect), waking him
to pee (very difficult - he was not awake and we'd half
drag him to the toilet where he couldn't wake up enough to pee).
The ONLY thing that worked was a prescription
nasal spray called DDAVP. I wish we had tried it sooner because
his self-esteem suffered so much over the years. It worked right away
and the whole family got happy again. By the time he
was 15 or so, he could reliably sleep through the night without
DDAVP and without peeing. So he stopped taking it and there were
no more accidents after that.
Does anyone have experience with bedwetting and older boys?
Mine has just turned 8, and still wets the bed every night. He
sleeps deeply, doesn't wake up at night, and pees like a
racehorse. Both my brother and dad wet the bed until early
teens. I have read that some kids (usually boys) take awhile
before they mature to the point where the brain starts producing
an anti-diuretic at night that slows urine production. Until
then, apparently you just have to wait it out. Our pediatrician
thinks that just telling our son to stop wetting the bed should
be sufficient. This is not working. Has anyone tried the
prescription med that mimics the brain's chemical? Our doc is
not enthused about it. I worry about the effect of wetting and
self-esteem, especially if our son cannot control it (yet).
Thoughts? Buzzers?
Mom of wet son
I have a nine year old son who wets the bed. We don't really
fret about it (as we were both bedwetters in our day!). But I'm
concerned because (a) it's EVERY night and the volume is large
(b) it doesn't seem to matter if or how many times I get him up
at night (c) he's too frightened by the nightime noise of most
recommended alarm systems. What's your advice? Just be patient
and wait it out? He doesn't seem miserable, but I'm sure it
would help his self esteem to move past this. His six year old
sister who has similar issues is terrifically motivated to stop,
while he is not. Interested in the experiences of parents in a
similar quandry. Thanks in advance.
Kevin
For the last few months, my 9 year-old has been waking up with
his pants wet or his bed wet. He feels quite embarrassed and
ashamed of himself but he says he can't control it. I'm trying
my best to find a remedy as well as trying not to shame him.
Luckily enough, he's slim enough, and I decided to have him wear
pull-ups and to stop drinking water or milk by 6 p.m. and to
relieve himself all he can before he goes to bed at 8:45 but he
needs to stop this and anyone have any sons who have gone
through this and you have any helpful remedies or suggestions?
Thank you.
anon
I definitely recommend using an alarm to help retrain his body to
wake up when it feels that sensation. It's no fun hearing that
thing in the middle of the night, but after a while it really
works. My daughter was younger than your son, but we've had no
accidents for at least a year!
Elizabeth
Here is the short of it:
His nervous system has forgotten (or not learned) how to monitor
his bladder when he is asleep: so get a bed wetting alarm. It is
a thing you can buy. One version consists of a pair of flexible
metallic pads with holes in them that go beneath the sheets.
Between them is an insulator. Back when I had one it, the
insulator, was paper. They have evolved since then... (for
instance there are briefs that do the same thing these days) Low
voltage goes into one of the pads and when urine moistens the
insulator the circuit closes and the alarm sounds. Safe and
quick. Remember Pavlov's dogs? Or how you associate the ''ding''
with the ''dong'' that usually follows in a doorbell. Same deal:
your son's brain will quickly learn to associate the alarm sound
with a full bladder feeling and wakes up _in anticipation_ of the
alarm sound. Once awake, he feels the fullness from that awake
perspective and off to the toilet! Soon the fullness feeling is
associated with rousing from sleep. This is _Really_ basic
behavior conditioning. Works like a charm for bed-wetting. The
alarms and the process are quite rewarding (a 9 year-old could
track their own progress and manage the project) and quick.
This scientific/behavioristic approach should also give him a
sense of control and mastery. It did for me.
If I were you, (and I am you: I screw up stuff with my kid) I'd
apologize for the pull-ups and the restriction of fluids
(dehydration = bad) approaches and suggest a
fresh ''you-and-me-against-the-world!'' approach.
Dry Dad...
Dear fellow parents,
My 3rd-grader has struggled with bedwetting for years and is
*ready* to stop. We have tried the alarms, with no success,
mainly because a. they don't wake him up (they wake me up) and
b. then, when I wake him up, the sound scares him--not overall
very conducive to independence or the necessary tranquility
that should go along with the process.
So I'm looking for advice and tips that go beyond the
bedwetting alarm, although I know that this is extremely
popular with many--it just doesn't look like it will work for
us. I would be interested in working with a holistic-type
practicioner who could help address diet, etc. We've tried
acupuncture, but he was overwhelmed by the experience.
Acupressure? Homeopathy?
Thank you very much.
drowning in the yellow lake!
I know that bed-wetting in kids is variable and within a
spectrum of 'normal'. However, my kid goes through phases
of bed wetting and is 9 years old. As well, there are minor
to major accidents during the day. This does not happen all
the time. Rather, it seems to come and go in inexplicable
cycles. We've tried all kinds of things (including
consults with MDs and PhDs). I know there are anxiety
issues, but anyone else out there have experience with this
and managed to not develop additional anxiety over it? We
don't do sleepovers (of which invites are growing in
frequency) and there is a smell and volume of laundry issue
as well. I know all the 'don't give water just before bed'
and 'wake up on a schedule to pee at night'.... None of it
seems to work. Surely, there are periods where it seems to
be about control (not going potty when the need arises and
then having an accident), but at what age does smelling like
pee become an incentive to not have accidents? Oh, and at
what age do we get concerned that it is beyond the spectrum
of 'normal'?
trying to be cool
Our main problem was less about enuresis and more about encopresis. As we
dealt with that, we found ourselves having to deal with more pee accidents at
night. You may try having him be responsible for stripping and remaking his
bed, and also doing his own laundry when it happens. I know it's stressful for
you - I expect it's stressful for him too. We focused on behavior training - we
got our son a watch with 6 alarms on it and every time the watch buzzed, he
had to use the potty. He used the potty every hour and half. the alarm helped
remind him at school. We talked to his teacher so she would allow him to go
to the bathroom each time without giving him grief about it. the watch
buzzes, so he feels it and no on else needs to know.
Of course, one of the biggest things was for his dad and I to change the way
we responded to accidents. He had to change ingrained patterns, we had to
change our behavior as well. After working on this for 9 months, we have
really come a long way, but we are not finished. I think backsliding is to be
expected. If Children's has a specialized clinic that focuses solely on these
issues, I would recommend seeing someone there. I took my son to his
regular pediatric practice three times for the same symptoms and they did
not help me fix the problem at all. It was only after we went to a specialist
that we got the help we needed. If your insurance doesn't cover it, pay out of
pocket - it is worth it. Good luck!!
Anon
Our almost 9 year old daughter occasionally pees in bed while
sleeping. We've addressed this issue with pullups but we'd like
to find out if other parents have had success with bedwetting
detectors -- and we'd really appreciate recommendations for a
specific one that works well. Our daughter can occasionally wake
herself up and take herself to the bathroom in the night but
other times she wakes up wet. Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks very much!
Bedwetting is much more common than you think. Most bedwetters grow
out of it by the age of 12, as my brother-in-law did. It also has a
tendency to run in families. I'm convinced that it's a minor neurological
disorder that corrects itself as puberty begins, but I have no MD! There
is also a very effective medication, but doctors usually wait until the child
is much older than your little guy.
Good luck! Try not to make a big deal out of it- It will only make
him feel worse.
This is in response to the questions about diapers at night. We just got our
daughter out of the Good Nights about 6 months ago right as she turned 6.
She had been able to get up and go by herself at 3-31/2, then just started
having accidents over Christmas while we were traveling. After changing
sheets every night and getting her up to go before we went to bed, we
started using the Good Nights after a couple months. That lasted about two
years. We checked several times for urinary infections, but there was no
medical reason for the change. It seemed like she was sleeping so heavily
that she didn't even wake when she wet.
I, too, have a 5 1/2 yr old daughter who wears pullups at night and shows no real
urge to get rid of them. She's not even in a hurry to take them off in the morning
when they're soaking wet. She was dry, wearing the pullups, for several weeks
last August and then kindergarten started and she started being wet almost every
night again. I suppose that was a natural response to the stress of starting
school, but there hasn't been any improvement as the school year goes on. Our
pediatrician, whom I trust completely, says just wait, don't worry, and if she's
still wet at night by her sixth birthday she can try those electronic wake-up
sheets that buzz when they get wet. My daughter is a very sound sleeper--sleeps
right through the loud wails of her baby sister, and I wonder if that's part of
the problem. Do any of you have kids who magically became dry at night at age
six? I guess I'm just being lazy, partly, taking a laissez-faire attitude, but I
also don't want to put her through a lot of traumatic effort if her body's just
not ready, as her doctor suggests. Any advice?
July 1999
We use Good-nites pull-ups, 45-65 lbs. We started these when our son
was 40 lbs. When we first started these, he wet through them maybe
once a week. Now at age 4, it's maybe once every 2-3 weeks. You can
get them at most grocery and large drug stores, but not Berkeley Bowl.
They weren't at costco last time we were there, either.
I was grateful to find that Huggies and Pampers have both introduced
SIZE 6 diapers. Also, one of the major brands makes big kid overnight
pullups that come in a HUGE sizes -- definitely for kids over 40 lbs.
Often they don't carry these sizes in grocery stores. Rite-Aid has
has them. As does Pack-N-Save.
Two thoughts came to mind. How come that there is still so much pee
at night? Are liquids consumed past dinner time? If so, decide to
serve only water after dinner and then gradually cut that back to
3 ounzes. Worked well for us. In the early days, we created better
sleep for all of us (you can doze through feedings, but diaper
changes ensure waking up) by wrapping the baby in 2 diapers, with a
hole cut into the bottom of the first one, so the overflowing pee can
be absorbed into the second diaper. Gradually switched to just one
diaper for the whole night as pee decreased. Never had to change sheets
at night so far.
I think I've seen size six diapers at Toys R Us. If not there, then
definitely a big store (like Target) which has a lot of diaper
inventory.
I was grateful to find that Huggies and Pampers have both introduced
SIZE 6 diapers. Also, one of the major brands makes big kid
overnight pullups that come in a HUGE sizes -- definately for kids
kids over 40 lbs. Often they don't carry these sizes in grocery
stores. Rite-Aid has them. As does Pack-N-Save.
some thoughts:
1) There's something on the market called "diaper doublers," which are
strips of the absorbent stuff you find in diapers. You place these inside
the regular diapers to increase the absorbancy. I saw them at Longs a
while back.
2) I have found Huggies Overnights to be quite effective for nighttime, but
she hasn't outgrown size 4 yet, so I don't know how they work in the next
size up (I assume they are available in a size 5, but they weren't at the
Safeway near us when I looked the other day).
3) Huggies also makes some thing called "Good Nights" which are overnight
pullups for larger kids. But I think these are for kids 45 lbs and larger.
Depending the shape of your son's legs, they might work now, though. I
got a coupon last week at the Safeway to try these free (one of those that
are mounted on the store shelves, with the flashing lights).
Good luck!
In response to the person looking for larger diapers, Pampers (I believe
that's the brand) makes a size 6. The Lucky's in Montclair carries them. I
would also like to say that it's most likely that your child just needs a
larger size diaper. However, if your child is peeing excessively, please
check for diabetes. My daughter was leaking through her diaper at night
even though it fit fine--it got to the point where she needed two a night
and had accidents at nap time--and she was diagnosed with juvenile
diabetes. Other symptoms include excessive thirst and weight loss. Good
luck.
5 1/2 yr. daughter still wearing diaper at night
Jan 2002
My 6 1/2 year old is still in pull-ups. I think the only advantage of
pull-ups over diapers is that they are kind of socially acceptable among the kids.
Jennifer
Our 6+ year old daughter just had to start wearing night-time
pullups. She was wetting the bed on a regular basis and so I was
washing the sheets, her quilt etc. everyday. Not only was this
tiresome, but nothing we tried seem to help correct the problem. She
would sneak in to get drinks before she went to bed, if we got her up
early to use the bathroom, she often went in her pants again. This got
worse after her baby sister was born a year ago. Anyway, we have been
putting her in nighttime pullups for 2 weeks and have found that 1/2
the time they are still dry in the morning, so maybe it is helping?
CT
The alarm is a moisture detector which clips on the front of underpants. It
detects the very first few drops of urine, and sounds a buzzer next to the
childs ear. This wakes them up, and then they go to the bathroom. After a
while, there is a Pavlovian conditioning linkage - instead of a full
bladder leading to a few drips leading to a buzzer leading to waking up
leading to going to the bathroom, the full bladder leads directly to going
to the bathroom.
Some children regularly wet the bed as late as the onset of early
adolescence (11-13). More often the very late ages is a boy
phenomenon. Generally this is related to a hormonal issue - the
hormone that tells you "wake up, your bladder's full" hasn't developed
yet - in our experience the child is SO asleep that sometimes there is
no realization that the bed is even wet until the morning. The child
WILL outgrow it (unless there's a underlying physical problem, which
can be ruled out by your pediatrician - usually if the uncontrollable
wetting is only at nite, its hormonal). You can help by limiting
evening fluids, making sure that your daughter goes to the bathroom
right before bed, setting an alarm or waking up your child at night,
etc. but quite frankly that only helps some. There IS a prescription
nasal hormonal spray which can be applied each night which will take
care of the problem. Personally, I rather a child naturally outgrow it
but bed wetting ends up being such a BIG self-esteem problem as the
child gets older that I understand why some parents opt for the
spray. Its no comfort to the child that "alot" of kids have this
problem - but the truth it is a rather common problem that's just not
talked about. I'm glad that our family's experience with this is just
about over.
Our take on this situation was that the diaper itself was preventing
our daughter from learning not to go to the bathroom during sleep
hours. Diapers are so absorbent, so that it is not uncomfortable to
sleep with a wet diaper. My daughter was still in diapers at night
LONG after she was potty trained. Eventually we surmised that the
diaper's absorbency was the issue, and once we stopped using diapers,
it only took a very short time before she stopped wetting the bed.
Daphne
Our son just turned five and still wears a diaper. We don't make a big deal
about it, sometimes it's wet, sometimes it's not. It doesn't seem to
bother him and we'd rather do the diaper thing than change sheets, etc. I
figure he'll get to the point where he'll outgrow it. Lisa
6 year old daughter continues to wet the bed
January 2005
I'm a believer that some things are only accomplished when the
child wants to do it. You can't negotiate with a sleeping
child, so this is even more true for issues in bed.
Hi! I was a late bedwetter (I can't remember exactly how old I
was, but at least seven or eight). All I can remember is that I
was responsible for cleaning up and changing the sheets, such
that I didn't get any parent involved, and I was not wearing any
kind of ''diaper.'' So I had to deal with all the consequences of
bedwetting on my own, which I found very uncomfortable. One
night, I decided I would not wet the bed anymore, and I repeated
over and over in my head, ''I will not pee the bed tonight!'' I'm
not sure how many nights it took, but not many, and I actually
stopped wetting the bed! This makes me think that kids need to
feel some sort of motivation to stop, but that it may have to be
on her own timetable.
prior bedwetter
We just recently got over this with our almost 7 year old.
I think it took a sheer act of will on her part, when she was ready.
What seems to work is having her pee 3 times in the hour before
bed. I bought a ''piddle pad'' for her bed (about 18'' strip of cloth with
plastic underneath that goes accross the bed under her bottom) so that if she
has an accident, she can discretely deal with it herself....just take out the wet
pad and throw it in the wash, get another from the drawer. Her mattress also
has a waterproof wool protector. If you want to change the situation, it sounds
like you have to take the Pullups away. On the other hand, I'm sure she'll stop
peeing in the bed when she's ready, so you could also let it go,,,,
mom to 3
When I was a child I too wet the bed - until 3rd grade! I must say that I
was incredibly embarrased to have friends spend the night or to sleep at
their house and it really affected my self-esteem. Eventually my doctor
(Kaiser in the 70's) gave my parents an alarm that was activated when
I'd start to urinate (this was sewn into my underwear). While I did have
a small bladder, it really grew into pure laziness.
This message is in response to the woman with a six year old who
still wets the bed. I wanted to include the following
information which may be helpful, as nothing like it is
currently posted in the potty training or bed wetting issues
section of the old postings. Our son was a five year old bed
wetter. I was changing the sheets between 3 and 5 nights a week,
tried diet modification, withholding liquids, waking him and
sleep walking him to the toilet in the middle of the night,
etc. None of it worked. It was exhausting for me and so
unpleasant for him.
6-year-old's leaky night-time pull-ups
Jan 2005
Our 3 yr old's pull-ups kept leaking, even though the fit &
weight were fine. We first used the diaper pads we found at
Albertsons for extra absorbancy which usually worked well.
When on holiday, we couldn't find anything similar so we
started using Depend Boost Liners. These work better - they
absorb more, have a sticky strip and are easier to find. Just
make sure to get ones that don't have a plastic backing - you
want the urine to go through to the pull-up.
anon
We have switched to the next size up: Good Nights. Even tho my
son can still wear the large size of pull-ups, the Good Nights
are much more absorbant, and he doesn't have wet PJ's when he
wakes up in the mornings.
jen
7-year-old daughter still wears pull-ups at night
Our almost 7-year-old daughter still wears pull-ups at night.
Just this last week I ran out, and we tried going without. All
went well for three nights, then, on the fourth and subsequent
nights - soaking bed. She pees before she goes to bed, and we
put her on the potty before we go to bed at around 11 or 12.
Still she pees. She was very late in potty training (four!) and
still has problems pooping in the toilet. She is otherwise a
normal (if slightly high strung) girl. Her 3-year-old brother
potty-trained himself this year and stays dry all night.
My question is this: At what point should I take her to see
someone? Will she grow out of this? My husband and I are
perplexed. Thanks for any advice.
tired of buying diapers.
We finally got our 8 1/2 y-o boy out of pullups, by committig
to wake him up at least once during the night (and sometimes
once is not enough, or we don't get him up early enough),
because he still will not wake up himself to the sensation of
needing to pee, and won't even wake up after he wets himself.
We still wash bedclothes about twice a week, but it's a lot
better than it was. He can't make it through the night without
our assistance yet, though, and he's now 9. We've read and
been told by Drs that it can be up to 12 years old before some
kids fully mature so that they (1) don't have to pee as often,
or at all, during the night and (2) can feel it and wake up in
time if they do. Unless there are other symptoms, or she used
to be able to make it through consistently and now can't,
there's probably nothing wrong and you just need more time.
anon
I do not think you should ''take her to see someone''. I also
do not think four is ''late'' for potty-training. You really should
continue buying pull-ups or goodnites until she is
comfterble sleeping without them because wetting the bed
means everyone is upset in the morning and she feels
guilty about something that is not at all her fault. I think now,
more than ever is when she needs your support and being
okay with her ''taking her time'' with nightime potty-training
because it can be very hard when a younger sibling masters
something like potty-training at night before the older sibing
does (luckily me and my brother were never bedwetters but
there were other issues about different things) esspecially
with something like this where they are helpless in how to
make it better exept what you are saying you are doing and
there is so much pressure to have nightime accidents
history by age five. Just keep buying pull-up until she grows
out of it and if you are really concerened then talk to her
doctor at her next appointment about prescribing something
for camping and sleepovers. Try not to make a big deal
about it though, simply a condition that well outgrow as far
as the family goes, with her doctor though, you can express
concerns and talk about them in a light, matter-a-fact way to
your daughter.
Sara
Ok, I'm going to remain anonymous on this one but share with you
that I also wet the bed and had to wear diapers at nighttime
until I was 6 or 7. I'm now a healthy, normal adult. I think
there are medical conditions/bladder issues that kids outgrow
but you'd need to talk to your dr. for details. I don't
remember my parents taking me to a dr. about this. My biggest
piece of advice is to never shame her about it. I remember
being very embarrassed and ashamed and I wish someone had told
me that it was something I'd outgrow.
anonymous
Give it a few more weeks. My 5 yo daughter was in diapers at night until my
(european) sister-in-law found out while my daughter was staying with her.
S-i-L insisted: no diapers! She was so right. We, too, were dry the first few
nights, but began wetting again for a few weeks until she figured it out. Just
buy one of those clothe-covered-plastic sheets to put under her meanwhile,
and do a few extra loads of laundry til she gets it.
Karen
7-year-old still not potty trained
Does anyone have experience with a child not being potty trained by
age 7? The girl in question apparently is not embarrassed by her lack
of control and has learned means of coping with the situation (like
bringing a change of underwear to school, washing out her own panties
and wearing a pull-up at night).
Thanks!
My 7-year old is still in pullups at night, after toilet training at
about age 3.25. My wife and I were both late bedwetters (boy do I hope this
is being posted anonymously), so we figure he's genetically entitled. We
don't worry about it, just enforceit to save ourselves the laundry load.
He's embarrassed about it, and hides his pullups from the sight of others
when he has a sleepover or babysitter. But he's an incredibly deep sleeper
(he slept through a smoke alarm 15' away once), and just can't manage to
wake himself up at night. We stopped waking him up at night ourselves because
that wasn't teaching him anything, he didn't remember it in the morning,
and then we had fights where he insisted he had been dry all night.
Our 12 year old still has occasional problems...
If he drinks too close to bed time, or fails to urinate before
falling asleep it's pretty much a sure thing.
Relax. Don't let him drink in the last hour before bed. make sure he
"goes" just before climbing into bed - right after brushing his teeth
without drinking any water!
I had a coworker who had this problem. It caused him a great deal of
embarrassment during his childhood, and made him a bit of an outcast.
He ascribed it to the malevolent influence of his grandmother when he
was starting potty training. As an adult he's a bit of a clown -
likes to make people laugh - is a very serious martial arts
practitioner, likes somewhat dangerous sports, and shies vigorously
away from intimacy (as in I have never heard of him having a steady
girlfriend although he's very interested in women, and he's in his mid
thirties). For what it's worth. Sorry no recipe for success - he
didn't get there reliably until he was 10 or 11.
Jin Shin Jyutsu (a touch therapy) has been known to help in these
cases. Sounds like a physiological (but not mechanical) issue perhaps
related to bladder maturation. Everyone's different, as I tell my
5-1/2 year old son. Two local practitioners I recommend for their
work with children are Barbara Baiardi (235-0616) and Leah Statman
(525-5080). My son has had Jin Shin since he was 2 and was fully
trained (no overnight accidents) at 3-1/2, much to our surprise and
wonder. Sometimes it seems he has the bladder of an elephant! Could
be hereditary, could be the body work...
Also, my sister as a child had lots of problems wetting the bed and even
staying dry during the day (through age 8). It turned out that she had
chronic bladder infections from a milk allergy. When she stopped drinking
milk, the incontinence completely cleared up.
My daughter is seven years old and has been in and out of pull-ups
at night for the past year. She is a VERY heavy sleeper and rarely
wakes at night.
* I don't let her drink much if anything after dinner. No warm milk
before bed.
* If she insists on a glass of warm milk before bed, then I ask her to
wear a pull-up.
* And ... I drink a glass of water before bed. Then when I wake up to go
to the bathroom, I get her up too. It's still not easy to get her up,
but she's used to the routine now. She barely wakes up. may seem
drastic, but it's less disturbing than changing sheets at night, and
fortunately, neither my daughter nor I have any trouble falling back to
sleep.
My advice: if your child is wetting the bed past the age of 6 or so,
do some research on Enuresis and ask your doctor about DDAVP.
The poor kid can't help it and is probably miserable. This will
eliminate the misery.
Sorry to say that some kids inherit enuresis and there is not too much
you can do about it. DDAVP, a nasal spray, will help. Ask your
pediatrician about it. My child was 15 before he outgrew bedwetting
but if he consistently took a spritz of DDAVP he'd reliably have a dry
night. I hope you have an earlier resolution! But be aware that some
kids are just sound sleepers combined with a predisposition for enuresis.
8-year-old wetting the bed- medication?
Feb 2004
Well, this is fairly unconventional, but worth a try. I've used
a variety of what might be called ''hypnotic suggestions'' with my
child before going to sleep. They are exercises I learned in
theatre, dance and yoga, and begin with a relation process:
''Find a place in your right foot, relax it. Find a place in your
left foot, right calf, etc., all the way up the body. Point out
that tips of
fingers and tops of head may tingle as all the tension leaves
through those points. Once the body is fully relaxed, take it
down a step further: ''Imagine your bed in space, warm, cozy,
surrounded by stars. It begins to softly sway, and drift, down,
down'' Say things which provide comfort and reassurance - maybe
have an orange light, which fills the body slowly like a liquid,
! bringing a peaceful, sleepy feeling. Once the subject is fully
relaxed, you can make some very gentle suggestions: As I count
backwards from 10, you will start to feel sleepy. You will rest
very peacefully, and awaken relaxed and refreshed. If you need
to go to the bathroom, you will feel your bladder, wake up, and
walk to the bathroom, use the toilet, then come back to bed,
where you will go back to sleep. You will not forget to get up
to use the bathroom, etc.
I've used this to get my son to sleep when he was having a
problem, or to wake up in time for a busy day. I use it myself
instead of an alarm clock, and after you've done it a few tmes,
your body wakes itself up at exactly the right time. It can also
be used to remember dreams, quit smoking, cut down on certain
foods, control temper, etc, and is a great tool to have even if
it proves ineffective for this particular problem. You might
want to suggest that he will be able to feel when his bladder is
full..weird, I know, but..It's worth a try, eh?
K
My oldest son was a bedwetter exactly as you describe your son,
up until he was about 14, at which point he finally outgrew it.
Yes it does run in families. Please go see a different
pediatrician. I had two pediatricians who helped me on this -
Gary Bean is the one who finally got us on the right track with
DDAVP - he was really super when my boys were bigger. DDAVP
really works and there were no side effects other than less
laundry for you and higher self esteem for your son. My son
completely took over remembering to use it before bedtime and
reminding me when it was time to refill. It was the only thing
that ever worked. Believe me I tried everything over the years:
waking him up, restricting liquids, using buzzers sewn
into his underpants, talking, reasoning, pleading, and of
course listening patiently to everybody's suggestions -- a lot of
well-meaning people think this has to do with stress or
problems at home. Frankly, unless they are coming from a person
who has dealt with a kid this age who wets the bed, the
suggestions you get are not that useful, and can actually
make you and your kid feel guilty and incompetant. Really it
is a physical condition that is easily treatable and eventually
goes away. Please make an appointment with another doctor and at
least try DDAVP for a month. I still feel guilty for not trying
it sooner (he turned out fine despite the bedwetting, and your son will too, so
don't worry!)
all the Best
Anonymous for my kid's sake
My 8 1/2 year old son also still wets the bed. Our pediatricians'
office minimizes concern at this point, saying he will likely
outgrow it. Coming from a family of bedwetters, I am not too
concerned. My siblings stopped between 7 and 12 years of age.
Regarding self-esteem, we just dont put a lot of attention on it
at home. He wears pull-ups at night and also does so privately on
sleep overs. I also know a few other families with same age kids
who have this behavior, so I let my son know that this is just a
bladder thing that some kids take longer to outgrow. Of course he
wishes it wasnt the case. At this point I am not planning any
intervention for this behavior, but if he begins to express a lot
of concern re it I may investigate some of the suggestions
mentioned on this website. I just wanted to give an alternative of
wait and see. To me, trying a lot of things that don't work seems
more harmful to self-esteem.
used to wet the bed
This is why Walgreen's and the bigger grocery stores stock
nightpants large enough to fit most 8-9 year olds, but not
teens or adults! My son is nearly 10, and has thankfully just
about grown out of the bedwetting habit, with no medication and
as little fuss as possible. We used to hide drynites at the
end of his sleeping bag for sleepovers and overnight camp, but
most sleeping bags are washable and camp staff are generally
used to this fairly common problem. Amazingly, the other
little boys never seemed to notice anything!
sympathetic mom
9-year-old wets the bed EVERY night
Oct 2002
A pediatrician recently told me that olders bedwetters do not
have an appropriate increase in their antidiuretic hormone at
night. This can be supplemented at night as DDAVP nasal spray.
It is also available now as a pill. Given your family history,
it sounds as if this could be the case.
ellen
We waited it out - and it wasn't until our son was over 11 that
he didn't wet the bed at least 2-4 times a week despite
restricting fluids, waking him up, etc. It has been very hard on
his self esteem, but we included him on the discussion regarding
alternatives - ie. hormone therapy and the fact that his own
pediatrician's son had the same problem till over 9 years old
and while he would prescribe hormones if we wanted, that our
pediatrician DID NOT do hormone therapy on his own child and our
son agreed that he didn't want the hormonal therapy. What helped
some was that as a family we tried to be matter of fact about
it. We talked about the bedwetting as a medical issue that he
had to deal with (and brought it up with his pediatrician at his
annual check ups so our son got continual feedback about his
medical condition from his doctor as well as us), would outgrow
(unlike other medical issues that some kids had to deal with
like diabetes) and that he could take some responsiblity for (by
avoiding bedtime drinking, setting an alarm clock for 1am. but
also by changing his own sheets, putting wet pj's/linen in the
washer, etc). He very inventively came up with an option that
kinda worked for overnights (swimtrunks) and luckily had a
couple of true friends that accepted his medical issue without
judgement or cruelty (we did agree to avoid residential summer
camp though). He will be 12 this month and for the past 6 months
has been ''dry'' for more than 6 weeks at a time(with one recent
inexplicable return to 4 times in one week), so he knows that he
IS outgrowing it. I won't lie to you though, its been a
definite self-esteem issue for him over the years and I know its
an issue of shame for him despite our efforts to be matter of
fact, but I think he would agree that as a family we handled it
as best as possible.
Chiropractic care has had a great track record with treating
children with bedwetting problems. There can be many different
reasons for this problem. I would be happy to talk to you about
helping your son. I have a family practice in Albany and see
children regularly for a variety of health problems including
bedwetting. Chiropractic care for children is gentle, safe and
extremely effective.
Lori-Ann
As the mother of three kids, one (and only one) of them a bedwetter
till his early teens, my advice is to seriously consider DDAVP - talk
to your pediatrician. My son is 20 now and those days are long behind
us, but I still feel really badly that I did not know about DDAVP
sooner because my kid really suffered. It is a big blow to a kid's
self esteem to be wetting the bed - they cannot go to sleepovers, they
live in fear that the kids at school will find out, and they are
continually hopeful after a 3-day dry spell and then crushed when it
happens again. We found out about DDAVP whe he was about 11. It was
like a miracle drug. I had concerns about giving him a drug but my
dr. explained it is a naturally occurring substance that some people
don't have enough of. I think it is the thing that shuts the kidneys
down for the night so they don't keep generating pee all night long.
The doc said some people have a deficiency of this and that combined
with heavy sleep pattern keeps them from waking when they need to
pee. There were no side effects. It's a nasal spray and my kid just
sprayed before bedtime and it just worked. He was highly motivated and
remembered every night to do it. He was able to spend the night at
friends' for the first time. He used it till he was 14 or so, when
for some reason he was able to wake himself up, or stopped needing to
pee at night, or whatever. ask your pediatrician about it. Wouldn't
hurt to try it and see if it works. It was really such a relief for
my son.
Best -
a Mom
My son wet his bed every night too. My neighbor told me about a buzzer belt
that had helped her son and I decided to try it. My son was eight when he
used it and, like magic, it worked! I think it taught him to recognize his
body needs when in a very deep sleep . He also "learned" to simply hold it
in until morning. I have leant this devise to several friends who have also
had great success with it. You can email me for more info if you like but I
must say that the directions state that after a child is 8 it becomes much
more difficult to "learn" to stop bed wetting. Still, my own son was so
proud of himself for finally gaining control over this, isn't it worth a
try?
Gloria
9-year-old has been wetting the bed the past few months
Jan 2008
Our son had the same problem. We finally bought that alarm ($80 at least - I don't
recall) and that trained him to get up at night, the very first night . He LOVED the
alarm, too!
Best of luck to you.
a pal
If you son is suddenly peeing during the night, you might want
to notice if he's also lost weight and is very thirsty. These
are all symptoms of type 1 diabetes. Our daughter had been potty
trained and then at the age of 4 began wetting herself during
the night. Unfortunately for us, it was diabetes, but at least
we got her to the doctor and had her diagnosed before it was
more serious. Undiagnosed diabetes can lead to diabetic
ketoacidosis, which can be fatal if blood sugars just go up and
up unchecked. If there are no other explanations, I would
encourage you to have your child checked out. It's an easy urine
test in the doctor's office.
concerned mom
No big deal... he is probably just sleeping too deeply to feel
the sensation that he has to pee.
I don't think this that unusual. Some boys have a hard time controlling nightime urine.
Talk to his doctor, but I think it might be something that goes away as his kidney
mature. My 12 yro godson still occassionally pees in the bed.
Good luck
Kids are DEEP sleepers. Wish I could sleep like them. So they
don't wake up when their bladder tells them to and they wet the
bed. Just very common and normal even in older kids (12, 13) so
no big deal. My advice, just do what you are doing, and make
sure everyone (that means you and your son) understands that it
is no big deal. Key phrase, no big deal.
sean
Is this a new problem? Was he dry overnight before and now is
wetting at night? If that is the case I would start with your
pediatrician. A physical or emotional change may be the cause. If
he has never been dry, I would recommend trying a nighttime
bedwetting alarm. It worked for my almost-8yo in about 2 weeks.
Good Luck!
A google search yielded a fantastic kid oriented page on
the subject:
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/bladder/enuresis.html
or you could have checked the archives. What made you think this
was a unique problem? a 9 year-old can pick up that you think
they have a ''special'' and embarrassing problem. It ain't special.
3rd grader is *ready* to stop bedwetting
Feb 2009
My 10 year old son was a bed wetter for many years, and we tried
an alarm, waking him up in the night, no drinking after 6:00pm,
all to no avail. I think they just have to grow out of it. I
was a bed wetter, as was my brother, so perhaps there is a
genetic component relating to a small or slow to develop bladder
and internal ''notification system.'' I think it is best just not
to make a big deal out of it, and frankly, I am troubled that
anyone would subject a third-grader to acupuncture needles or
other questionable ''remedies'' in an effort to stop the bed wetting.
Anon
My 3rd grade boy has just this year really improved in the bedwetting
department and
we struggled for a couple of years, until at his 6 year annual check-up
the doctor
asked about it and said, ''yep - nothing you can do - it runs in the
family so just wait it
out.'' We discussed further and her take was that it is a primarily
genetic behavior and
that there is no point in finding a solution because they just have to
grow out of it...
with that info. we came home, just encouraged him to do the best he
could and
resigned ourselves to wet sheets... the last six months have been great
and with no
frustration! Good luck -
dry days ahead
My 3rd grader has also been a heavy bedwetter. We did not do the alarm.
We did try
the medicine from the pediatrician that is supposed to stop them from
bedwetting, but
it did not work for my son. We had a referral for the urologist, but
ended up not
going. We had an appointment with the osteopath, Patricia Weltz, on
Santa Fe, in
Albany for some other issues. We discussed the bedwetting as well, and
the treatment
seemed to have a big impact on the bedwetting. So now instead of heavy
pee every
night, it is some pee occassionally. My son is very proud to have made
such rapid
progress, and I really attribute it to the osteopath.
try it!
9-year-old has phases of bed-wetting
Jan 2010
I could have written your post a couple of years ago!
This has been such a struggle, and I know it helped me to
hear that it was happening to others as well. We tried
the medications (against my husband's wishes) just to see
if it would get our son through sleep away camp, etc. No
luck. We tried all the tricks you describe. Last year
his behavioral pediatrician said that at 11, he should
respond very quickly to the alarm that did not work when
he was 8 or 9. This year, at 12, he's going through
puberty and has overcome this! Our son didn't have too
much anxiety or embarrasment around it, but he certainly
did want to go on sleep overs and he is trying to make up
for that now. From everything I've read and heard from
this doc, 12-13 would be about the end of it. You may be
lucky and it may end sooner than that. Good luck!
been there
Sounds frustrating! One thing you didn't mention was
whether or not you'd tried one of those mattress pads that
triggers an alarm when it gets wet. There was a good
article about bed wetting in the NY Times recently (I think
it was in the science section) and those mattress pads were
the one thing most people thought helped, though I guess
they're a real pain until they do, since they tend to wake
everyone in the house before the bedwetter wakes up.
anon
not sure if you're open to this, but i found the GAPS diet
book by natasha campbell-mcbride illuminating--it fit with
our problems. if your body considers your urine to be on
the toxic side, it's much harder to hold in. it's a lot
more irritating as it sits in your bladder, and you need
to pee asap. diet changes are required, and they're
biggies--but i have seen the changes work miracles with at
least one person i know well.
mama on the healing path
Hey there. I know you'll probably get several responses to this link:
http://tinyurl.com/ydf9a3b. The NYT just had a short article in their Health
section online about enuresis. Basically, they say that if the kid is reliably dry
during the day and the nighttime bedwetting continues past 5, there can be a
genetic component. The article also says that a nighttime alarm works very
well to retrain a kid to get up and use the potty. From what I've heard (we've
seen a specialist too and I think the article addresses this as well), waking
them up to pee on a schedule doesn't actually keep them from wetting the
bed. We've had occasional episodes, but none recently, which is a relief. Still, I
get nervous that it will happen again.
We had a problem as well with our seven year old and tried
something that is contrary to conventional wisdom. At his
last doctor's appt, the doctor off-handedly mentioned that
his body needed to learn that shut down the bladder for the
night. It clicked in my head. We had taken him off the
overnight pull-ups so that he would feel the wetness, been
restricting liquids from dinner on and had been waking him
up to pee around midnight with no success for a year or so.
But I realized that this was not allowing the bladder to
''learn'' to shut down if it was getting emptied in the middle
of the night. We stopped doing that and within two days he
stopped wetting the bed with zero accidents for 8 months now.
Unconventional but worth a try.
We have had success using the Malem bedwetting alarm with
both of our kids (one girl, one boy). We're finished with
the alarm -- let me know if you're interested in purchasing
the alarm.
Pauline
Just another perspective, in case you've tried or will try
everything (like we did): When my son was 7 and still
having these issues I asked his pediatrician, who wasn't in
the least worried about it, how long this might last and she
said, oh probably not too much longer, but it some cases the
child's system doesn't develop fully until age 12. We
walked out of there hoping we weren't one of those cases,
but 5 years later, literally, at age 12.5, the bedwetting
finally stopped, just as the Dr. said it would. NOTHING we
did in the interim helped in any long-term kind of way. We
just had to get over it, and teach him to change the sheets.
been there
Bedwetting alarm for 9-year-old?
April 2006
Concerned and Wondering What To Do
We used the Wet-Stop for our son when he was 7 years old. We found it at
www.bedwettingstore.com. (I see that they have a new model now, but the
premise is the same.) It took him about three nights to get the idea of
how to wake himself up and then another two or three weeks to do it
consistently and we've had no problems since. I was skeptical at first,
but it really helped him understand the feeling of having a full bladder
at night.
Good luck
I can't address the detector Q directly, but a study out last week found
some interesting findings re preventing bedwetting - caffeine, citrus,
and carbonation should be eliminated from a child's diet (see link
below). This may help in the area of prevention for you and others with
a child with this problem.
http://www.healthcentral.com/newsdetail/408/532035.html
Anon
10-year-old bedwetting
My daughter is 10 years old/5th grade and still sometimes
wets the bed at night. She may be dry for a whole month and
then she may wet the bed for 3 nights in a row. She sleeps
like a rock and has been known to sleepwalk several times per
year. She was seen by a urologist who found no physical problem.
Our pediatrician prescribed DDAVP to have for camping trips or
sleepovers. We never tried the bed alarm - we kept thinking
she was going to grow out of the bedwetting any day; that the
alarm would not actually wake her up but would wake up her
younger sister (who can hold a gallon of pee overnight!).
Does anyone have any similar experiences with a child that's
older than 10? I know where we can buy the bed alarm but is
there any way to try one to see if it'll wake her up?
Thanks.
My nephew is nearly 10 and still has problems wetting the bed. My
sister has him wear pull-ups or something like that. They call it his
"night underwear." Indeed bedwetters cannot control it and no amount of
bribery will change that. They simply lack the ability to wake themselves
up when they need to pee. Ferber covers this problem very compassionately
and thoroughly in his book. He condemns punishment as both cruel and
useless. He details several techniques to try, including encouraging your
child to "hold it" during the day by staging a type of contest- marking the
level in a container of one pee and then seeing if he can beat that level
and then that level- effectively increasing his bladder capacity.
Speaking from personal experience, I was a bed wetter until
4th or 5th grade - same problem - deep sleeper, sleep walker etc.
My folks finally bought an alarm system (the kind that you put
under the sheets), and it was a god-send. Within a week or so,
the problem was done with, and I was so relieved to be done with
it. The alarm is not that loud, but, combined with wetting the bed,
it wakes you up - not the least bit scarey. Buy one! Good
luck.
To the person who wondered whether a potty alarm would actually
wake their child: We are using a potty alarm right now to help
train my 6-year-old son to wake up at night and go potty.
The alarm snaps on the shoulder of his pajama top, then wires
go down to his underpants and snap together in the front.
He is a very sound sleeper, but has never failed to wake up.
Also, I still don't understand why but as soon as he barely
starts to pee and the alarm goes off, he immediately stops peeing!
At first I thought the alarm would scare him and he'd keep peeing
out of fright, but he really does stop peeing, then I rush in to
help him go to the bathroom and finish. The alarm we have is
called a "SleepDry" by StarChild Labs (408-662-2659). I don't know
the cost because it was passed on to me by my sister who used
it successfully for her daughter who was 7 or 8 years old and
a very sound sleeper. Good luck!
It's great to hear people asking for help on this subject...so
many children suffer from this problem (I've heard around 10%).
I have found a method that has been very successful for people
I know. It addressed two key problems. One is that a child may
have a small bladder, and so often parents encourage drinking
less thinking this will help. The second is that many of these
children are deep sleepers, so they don't get the "I-have-to-pee
cue." I would tell your child that the bladder is like a balloon,
and we need to help stretch it some. Fill up a large bottle of water
(a quart) keep it in the fridge and have your child drink the whole
thing during the day. Send extra water to school. When a child is
sad, and tired of the anxiety around sleeping over friends houses
etc. they are often very motivated to try anything. Tell them
that drinking water will help them stretch their bladder (plus it's
good for your skin). Don't have them drink too much after dinner, but
you don't have to eliminate all liquids after a certain time. Next you
get an Enuresis alarm (pediatricians have info also I'm sure you can
find one on-line). Many parents will tell you that they don't work
because often the bedwetting child is a deep sleeper and they don't
even hear the alarm.. Here's how to address that problem...if you
really want to help your child get over this, tell them that you will
do anything that it takes and you will all work as a team. Move a
mattress or futon into your bedroom (I'm serious) and tell your child
that you will wake up if they don't when the alarm goes off. The
alarm goes off when your child begins to pee. If you have a partner
you and your partner can take turns having a night "on duty" and
"off duty" When you hear the alarm you quickly wake your child up
and send them off to the bathroom. If they've increased their water
during the day, they may be able to hold their urine until later in
the night or early morning when they are not in such a deep sleep.
Tell your child that you are happy to do this with them for as long as
it takes. Remember to explain to them that there are many people who
have this problem, and that they will outgrow it. It does not mean
there is something wrong with them (and of course it is important to
check things out with the pediatrician first as you did). It may only
take a week or two to help your child learn to wake up. Then you can
let them continue on their own in their own bed until they don't need
the alarm any more. Having been a bed wetter myself I know how
humiliating it is (at camp, and also the looks from parents) and I
sure would have liked it if my parents had this kind of attitude.
If a child had an illness they would certainly do whatever was
needed. Well the problem with bedwetting is that people are not
sure what to do, and many people are embarrassed to talk about it.
If you try this method with a very positive attitude "We're all in
this together to beat this problem" I think there's a good chance
of success.
Your description sounds a lot like my kids -- especially the
'sleeps like a rock' part. Is this a *new* issue, or one that
has been progressively diminishing over the years? How does
your daughter feel about it? If it isn't bothering her so much
that she's demanding to do something aggressive, let it ride.
3 times a month at age 10 sounds pretty good (within the universe
of childhood bedwetters.) If the bedwetting has been diminishing
over the years, rather than popping up out of the blue, I'd advise
bearing with it until your daughter is 12 or 13. She will probably
have grown out of it by then, simply by increasing bladder size
as she matures. There is, of course, the obvious point about the
timing of liquid intake, though I can't say I've been very firm
about denying water to a 'really, really, really thirsty' 9 year
old myself.
-- A parent with tons of laundry ;-)
My son, whom we successfully potty-trained at 3yrs, began wetting the
bed at 4. By 10 or 11, it was happening only once or twice a week,
but still regularly enough that doing sleepovers was potentially
disastrous for him. He did not stop altogether until he was 14 years
old. Our other children had literally no problems whatsover with
this. But this child has always been a very heavy sleeper. We tried
everything. The buzzer thingy didn't really wake him up - it has
always been very very difficult to wake him, and even when we managed
to get him on his feet, he'd trudge with eyes closed into a corner of
the hallway or living room and start pulling down his pjs to go into
the imaginary toilet he thought was there. You can imagine how
humiliating all this was for him, and really broke my heart. Of
course pull-ups or diapers were just out of the question by age 6 or
so. There just was nothing we tried that worked, so all we could
really do was teach him how to do laundry and try not to make a big
deal of it. We returned to the pediatrician when he was about 11
(previous consultations had resulted in "withhold liquids,get a
buzzer,wake him, etc. all of which worked to some degree but not
entirely) So, what we eventually did is get a prescription for DDAVP,
a synthetic version of a hormone made naturally in the body that
regulates how much urine gets made. It is a nasal spray that he took
before bed, and it made the bedwetting problem about 95% better. The
best thing about it was that my poor kid started to feel like he was
getting some control over the problem, and he felt confident enough to
start doing sleepovers, etc. He did not have any side effects, but if
he forgot to use it, he would have the same rate of bedwetting as
before. In the last year I have seen several articles (in Science
News and other places) about enuresis, which is the medical term for
bedwetting. It runs in families, and it is a physical condition,
usually not a response to stress or anything like that. I think that
many children outgrow it by age 5 or so, but there are always kids
like my son who continue to wet the bed till the teen years. (And you
don't hear about them because nobody wants to talk about it!) In this
case, I recommend using DDAVP - it really does work. If you want more
info, try doing a web search on DDAVP and enuresis - I found this
article from the Mayo clinic that way:
http://www.healthfront.com/mayo13.htm
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