Advice about Fertility
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Advice about Fertility
My partner has a zero sperm count, not low count, a zero
count. According to his lab tests it's not genetic, there
are no blockages, but he has for years taken hot hot baths,
saunas, etc, so we don't know yet whether he's done
permanent damage or not. The urologist has said we could
wait a few months avoiding hot baths to see if the sperm
production goes up unless we do a needle biopsy to check.
What about others things, foods, herbs, acupuncture that
we can do to foster sperm production?
Anyone have experience with this?
I urge you to get a needle biopsy. It is minimally invasive and it can answer your
question quickly. Then you will be able to move on with that information. In my
situation, my husband had zero sperm count and the needle biopsy showed he
was producing sperm. We opted for ICSI and IVF and have a gorgeous child as a
result! My experience is--don't fret but don't waste time either. I wish you my
If someone has a zero sperm count they should be evaluated
for other disorders as well. If there is no sperm in the
ejaculate but sperm in the testicle, it is being blocked
from coming out. The most common cause would be absence
of the vas defferans. This is genetic. Also, I have seen
people who had no other symptoms except a zero sperm count
and had cystic fibrosis. Most urologists will
automatically refer all men with a zero sperm count for a
seen it many times
I am 41 and have been trying to conceive for 1 year. All tests
have been ok, but large dermoid cysts (over 6cm diameter) were
found on both ovaries. These were removed in February using key
hole surgery. After a recent scan two more small cysts (2cm
diameter) were show on both ovaries again. These are causing me
occasional stabbing pains, especially during exercise.
I have been advised to have surgery again. I do not know if
these cysts were missed during surgery, or have grown in the
past 3 months.
Has anyone had experience of this problem? Are the cysts
affecting fertility? Should I have surgery again? What
alternative techniques should I consider?
The first thing I would say is go to a reproductive
endocrinologist NOT an OB GYN for advice and surgery. The
reproductive endocrinologist will be much more concerned to
conserve ovarian tissue. My guess is that they will say that
you don't need to operate on a 2 cm cyst, that you should try
to conceive first because every time you disturb the ovary, you
don't know whether it will resume function. I also think based
on my experience of dermoid cysts that they will say that a 2
cm cyst will not prevent you from conceiving, but I'm not an
MD. Go to Pacific Fertility in SF and see Dr. Eldon Shriock if
you possibly can. And lastly, if you can stand acupuncture,
Dr. Jingchun Ou at 3901 Grand Ave (547-3986) can help you
conceive and also possibly delay the growth of the cysts. There
are 3 Doctor Ou's at that address; Jingchun Ou is the fertility
Before I had my first child, I was in a similar position to
you -- 2 cm cyst that was being watched (but I just had one
ovary since I had already lost the other to a dermoid). The
operation was delayed for several years because my doctors,
Eldon Shriock and Robert Jaffe at UCSF, were giving me every
chance to conceive. Finally the cyst was too big (I think 6
cm?) and they had to operate. In the meantime, Dr. Shriock had
moved to Pacific Fertility and my health care plan would not
pay for him to do the surgery. I did very extensive research to
try to find someone else and was told over and over again by
doctors at Stanford, UCSF and Kaiser that Dr. Shriock was the
gold standard when it comes to ovarian surgery. An ob-gyn at
Kaiser who had trained with him told me that I should just
offer to pay him out of pocket -- that since I only had one
ovary left, I should spare no expense. When I asked Dr. Shriock
if I could pay for it myself, he just laughed. But then he
arranged for his partner to perform the surgery so that my
health plan would pay for the operation, and came in to perform
the surgery with his partner for free. I still choke up when I
think of it.
I've had two kids since. The first was born nearly a year to
the day after the surgery. It is possible to have two children
with just one not-quite-intact ovary left. I credit Dr. Shriock
and Dr. Ou with both of my kids. I don't think I would have had
the opportunity to have them were it not for them. If you
possibly can, get yourself over to see them.
good luck -- been there
I am so sorry to hear that the cysts have formed again. I don't
know how my story will help but I think it's good to hear from
others who have had to deal with fibroid cysts and fertility. I
found out that I had a 10cm fibroid cyst on my right ovary during
my first ultrasound when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was advised
by my doctor to have the cyst removed before my 14th week. She
said the risk of the cyst rupturing was far greater than the risk
of surgery harming the baby at that stage of my pregnancy. In the
end, I had the cyst removed (they were 2 cysts on one stem) under
general anesthesia. During an ultrasound before my surgery I was
told that the egg that was fertilized was from my left ovary. I
think you should have the cysts removed. Even under general
anesthesia and while I was 14 weeks pregnant, it took just 2
weeks for me to recover and I now have a very healthy toddler.
Just think, 2 weeks and you'll be cyst-free and can try for a
baby without worrying about cysts. Even though my surgery was a
success, I wouldn't want anyone to have to undergo surgery while
pregnant. Good luck to you.
Former cyst suffer
I had dermoid cyst taken out of L ovary,and another kind takenout of R. The R. one
grew back and they took my R ovary out 10 months later. I was 28. With a part of L and
no R ovary, I conceived at age 40. (husband with low sperm count, too) So -- it can be
done. Pain can be scar tissue, sometimes. Some second and third opinions are
warranted, I think, but don't give up hope on conceiving. Miracles happen!
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last 8
months without success. His doctor recently informed him that he
has Varicocele. From what I've read online I'm not convinced that
having a surgery done will increase our chances. Has anyone had
experience with this?
Hoping to conceive one day
Infertility, for any reason, is very stressful to go thru.
Fortunately, a varicocele is common and easy to fix. My husband
had a procedure done to correct his and now we have 2 happy,
healthy, wonderful children.
Get the procedure done and get pregnant!
We are blessed w/ a 2.5 year old and have been trying 6+ mos. for
a second child naturally (to no avail). Getting preg. w/ our
first was pretty easy, so I feel very lucky. I am 38 and am
starting to get nervous (but know anxiety is not what I need w/
fertility!). We are about to make an appt with Dr. Willman in
Orinda. I suppose what I'm looking for are some lessons learned,
tips and advice on what ''treatment'' to do next (chlomid,
insemination, etc.) I have a family history of hormone positive
breast cancer, so I'm not open to doing IVF and the injections at
this point. So, the least ''intrusive'' treatments would be
preferable. Also, were there side effects of taking chlomid and
doing artificial insemination? Thank you!
My husband & I got got pregnant unexpectedly at age 35 w/ a first
time mistake. When I started trying for No. 2 I thought it would
be super easy and it ended up taking 18 months. I had to get
help to eventually get pregnant. Luckily for me it was something
that required a very simple fix. I wish I had been a little more
aggressive getting help earlier. The first step I took was
reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF) which I think is
great for any woman, regardless of age, to better understand
their body cycles. What I highly recommend is joining some
infertility Boards. I was on one w/ Mothering.com & another on a
Yahoo group. There are a number of different Yahoo groups to
choose from depending on what issue you might be experiencing as
well as some general boards. I learned a ton of medical details
on the Yahoo group, it helped me ask the right questions and be
prepared once I saw a Fertility doc. Once you see a Dr. you will
get a bunch of tests that will steer you and the Dr. in the right
direction. Until those results are in I would just start
educating yourself w/ these message boards and/or books. The one
drawback in the testing is many of these have to be done at
certain times in your cycle so I think it can easily take 2-3
months to get all the necessary testing done. Being well aware
of your cycle by reading TCOYF will help you avoid any delays in
getting your testing started. Wish you the best of luck!!!
- Due in 3 Weeks!
I went to Dr. Willman but changed doctors later because I was 38
almost 39 and I thought she wasn't aggressive enough doing 4 IUIs
with NO results. I also switched doctors to switch up the mojo
and went for IVF immediately. Bingo. Had success.
My advice is that the IUIs can be a waste of time. It's not much
better than just sex sex sex all the time. I also have a maternal
history of breast cancer and I don't see why you're so hesitant
to take the IVF route - the drugs are the same in IUI and IVF
(they were for me; I took Menopur).
I wasted a lot of time, money and heartache doing the less
invasive stuff (Clomid was a waste of time, but side effects not
too bad) and IUI (side effects same as IVF - bloating and lots of
weight gain...but it went ON FOREVER because Willman kept wanting
to try that route...ended up we spent more on IUIs than the IVF
So that's my advice.
--It's a hard time, I know.
I highly recommend reading ''Taking Charge of Your Fertility'', by
Toni Weschler to assist you on your journey. There was also a
recent study done regarding use of clomid or IUI and the
limitations of these interventions which may help you with your
Have you had your hormone levels tested? Have you considered
medicines like acupuncture/chinese herbals? I suggest these two things.
may provide some clues as to the difficulty. The second may do that as
provide some solutions.
At 40, I had my levels tested and was given a very poor prognosis for
pregnant. After three months of work with my acupuncturist, my levels
''perfect'', and within three months I was pregnant with my son. Over
the course of
the past year I have had some horrendous headache/perimenopause issues.
had the levels tested (this time saliva testing, not bloodwork). Things
out. Following the dietary and lifestyle change recommendations of my
acupuncturist, in addition to some supplementation and chinese herbs, I
currently (at 45) 14+ wks pregnant with a daughter.
My acupuncturist is my hero. For me, she has practically worked
miracles. She is
really great at helping identify the problem(s) and providing some
solutions as well
as helping guide you to others. It requires work and flexibility and
your part. She is located in Berkeley and her name is Abigail Surasky.
HIGHLY recommend her to you. Wishing you the best!
Sorry you have to go this route.
We've done pretty much every infertility treatment that exists,
so heres some thoughts.
IUI's and clomid are pretty non invasive procedures......the IUI
itself is not much more than a PAP type experience and requires
no 'aftercare' as such. Its pretty cheap too (relative to ivf
anyway). Most Dr's will prescribe clomid alongside an IUI and I
never had anything much more than a pmt type feeling with it.
You would be doing exactly the right thing to see an RE
(reproductive endocrinologist) rather than a regular OB for this
kind of stuff. Theres absolutely no point in taking clomid and
doing IUI's if your tubes have become compromised for whatever
reason, or there are male factors present (things can change over
time and may have done since your previous pregnancy). Checking
both these things out is fairly quick and simple (an HSG for you
and a semen analysis for your partner) and at least then if you
go ahead with an IUI you will know the basic requirements for a
pregnancy are in place. There is also the concept of 'ovarian
reserve' to consider (ie the quality of your eggs), and a basic
infertility workup should include FSH and LH measurements on day
3, and maybe something called the 'clomid challenge test' which
can give further indication of your egg quality. Good luck to you!
information is power
I'd suggest accupuncture with Leslie Oldershaw with herbs for 4 -
6 months while you research IVF programs. Then I would either
pick ''big guns'' - IVF -- or stop. When you look at odds, trying
clomid/IUI/injectables really does not do nearly as much as IVF.
And if you do IVF consider Portland OR and Colorado. If you are
going to go for it, go to the best place you can. Stanford was a
great place for me and because of your family history you may
consider Dr Milki there - he is first a scientist, then an IVF
doctor. Although I did not get pregnant, I highly reccomend
thier program and him in particular. You are not as ''old'' as
some, although at 37 there is a big drop in fertility. Next one
comes around 40-41.
I was in the same boat as you - quickly getting pregnant with
my first at 35, but after over a year of trying for the second
starting at age 37-38 we reverted to fertility treatments.
There's a whole bunch of tests you'll have to go through first
before they even begin to talk about what treatment to start
with and those tests usually take months to complete. There's
hormone level monitoring at different points in your cycle,
making sure you don't have any cysts or other uterine issues
that might have developed after your last pregnancy, checking
your husbands sperm, etc. So once you get through all of that
your doctor will present you with your options.
In my case everything was fine except my follicle stimulating
hormone (FSH) levels started to go up, which means that there
is a low estrogen environment and more FSH was being released
from the pituitary gland in attempt to stimulate the ovaries
enough to produce a good follicle and estrogen. Basically
higher levels usually mean a diminishing egg supply and also
possibility a reduced egg quality. So it's a time gamble to
try just insemination first before moving onto Clomid (you
also do artificial insemination with Clomid to increase your
chances), as your FSH levels may be going up in the meantime.
After 35 FSH levels can jump, and at one point I saw a big jump
just over a 3 month spread.
I did one round of Clomid, and then my doctor thought it would
best because of my age and hormone levels not to waste time and
try injections next. One round of injections resulted in a twin
pregnancy. Through the local twin parents support group I have
met many women who were in the same fertility boat and were
able to get pregnant on one round of Clomid so it's worth a
shot. Out of all the women I know, I've only met one woman who
had a bad reaction (bad mood swings, anxiety, etc.) on Clomid.
For others it wasn't much different than PMS. I had no side
effects. There's no side effect to artificial insemination that
I know of.
So in a nutshell, my advice would be not to risk having your
FSH levels go up and to go for the Clomid if that's an option
given your test results. If you do get a reaction, then you can
always revert to just trying insemination on its own.
Well, you have an appointment with Susan Willman. She got me
pregnant twice and I have 2 ''perfect'' children thanks to her.
She wasn't all cheery, didn't smile a lot...no false hope from
her! She'd say 'well, you have a 5% chance of success here''
stuff like that. I had un-talented doctors feeding me clomid &
this & that perscription and after 7 years of nothing working,
I somehow found myself with her. She is incredibly talentedand
hard working. She got in there and corrected 5 things, any one
of which would prevent reproduction. Luck plays a huge part in
it of course. But, yeah, she took care of me!
I also took Chinese herbs, accupuncture, reflexology, quit a
stressful job... whatever it took. It probably all added up.
Dr. Willman is great. Like I said, I have 2 healthy kids so,
can't argue with that. She did several laproscopic surgeries on
me....and I had lots of medical innovation / interventions.
Nothing compared to actual motherhood though!
No words for how tired I am...
I don't know where you are in the process, but having had
infertility myself and going from IUI to IVF, I can tell you
that there is a lot to keep track of. A good friend of mine, a
pediatrician and fellow infertility traveler, has put out a
book to help record critical information along the way.
This might be of use.
Good luck with your decision. I just wanted to mention that
chlomid in older women (yes, over 37) can lead to a thin
uterine lining. So you could make more eggs but have a less
friendly implantation environment. It's possible that the
person doing the iui will not tell you this. My case. So I did
an additional chlomid cycle I would not have done had I known.
You must find this out w/ any chlomid cycle.
older with 20/20 hindsight
We are considering doing IVF. I have a chromosomal translocation
that means 50% of my pregnancies will end in miscarriages... this
far 4 of 5 have ended in miscarriage. I get pregnant crazy
easily, apparently I have the follicles/ovaries of a teenager (I
am almost 38), and it seems the only reason I am miscarrying is
the genetic problem. I already carried one baby to term (now
1. The success rate percentages for 38-40 are GRIM... but it
seems like I don't/won't have a lot of issues most women have (I
make a lot of eggs, etc) Why does IVF fail for women?
2. There is a place in Colorado that has a 41% live birth rate
for my age group. No other place in the country touches their
rates. It is hard to say no to that rate. Is it worth flying
out there to do this or just any IVF place with a decent live
I would seriously consider consulting with
Reproductive Science Center
http://www.rscbayarea.com/ regarding IVF. They at one time had
the highest success rate in the area (I am not sure if this is
still true). The doctors are exceptional, compassionate and
truly experts. I have nothing but praise for both Dr. Wilman and
Dr. Hinckley in the Orinda office. Keep in mind that the CDC
data on success rates includes those with a wide range of issues
and I suspect you may get a more positive prognosis in person.
RSC has info. seminars fairly regularly where they pass out
coupons for half priced initial consultations. Dr. Wilman helped
me with my first pregnancy and hope she will help me with a
second- at age 38. Best of luck to you and your family!
First off, I'm sorry you find yourselves having to tread this
ugly IVF journey. Its a tough road to travel.
Your post is very upbeat, but the reality of IVF is that it is an
emotionally and financially grueling journey. Its been an part
of our lives for the past 4 years, so we're pretty familiar with
all the positives and negatives it can bring.
As an IVF 'veteran' your first question makes me nervous. IVF
isn't an exact science. Not everyone comes away with a baby,
even when their infertility is 'unexplained', they produce many
embryos and everything goes seemingly perfectly. There are many
junctions along the way where the number of decent quality
embryos you produce as a couple is reduced (last time we only
retrieved 8 eggs, of which 5 fertilised, of which 3 made it
beyond day 2 and of which only 2 were of reasonable
quality......) Quality is key with IVF, so its not the number of
eggs you can/may produce that is of relavance but rather the
quality of those eggs, and the unfortunate reality is that with
increased age, goes reduced egg quality, hence those 'grim'
stats. The reality is that sometimes (often actually) it just
doesn't work, for whatever reason.....and the why is largely
Wrt your second question I would be interested to know what the
patient group is like that this clinic accepts? It certainly
seems like a high success rate - what do they attribute it to?
Unless you are very sure your chances are better then I would at
least check out PFC and/or UCSF in SF (we preferred PFC
incidently). I'm sure their opinions would be worth seeking as
part of your decision making process? A couple of hundred dollars
for a consult will fade into insignificance once you get stuck
into an IVF cycle or two.
The process of IVF is pretty intense and involves a lot of fairly
unpredictable appointments once you are in the stimulation phase.
You probably need to be in Colorado for a couple of weeks at
least, unless you could arrange your monitoring visits here in
the Bay area, and just head to Colorado for the retrieval and
I hope I don't sound too negative. We have visited both the
extreme lows and the ultimate high that IVF can bring, and it
truely can work miracles, but please, please, don't assume you
are immune to the lows, despite your history..... Its a long
long way to fall when things don't go so well.
Much much luck to you on your journey,
If you have a chromosomal issue to get pregnant, but willing to
go through IVF process, there is PGD (Pre-implantation Genetic
Diagnosis) to find out which embryos may carry your affected
chromosome with trans location.
We did ICSI (similar to IVF) with PGD for different reason at
UCSF. I was like you, at the age of 41, I had ovaries of 20's.
Still, my first two ICSI failed due to the quality of embryos,
but on the third trial I was successfully pregnant (with
multiples. Added bonus.)
I think IVF fails, just like natural pregnancy. I heard that
many natural pregnancies fail due to various and probably still
unknown reasons, so this medical technology is not certainly 100%
guaranteed. That being said, success does happen too. When I
was trying with ICSI, my doctor told me that my pregnancy rate
would be only 10%, but we tried anyway. I am glad that I did at
ICSI and PGD suggestor
We've been doing IVF with Reproductive Science Center of the Bay
area, and we have had a good experience (plain old unexplained
fertility over here!) However, I have been reading a blog called
here be hippogriffs http://julia.typepad.com/ and her husband has
roberstons traslocation (13 pregnancies, 2 live births).
Anyhow,it seems like you might want to look at the PGD programs
really throughly--the woman at the blog I referred you to had an
erroneous PGD done at Shady Grove outside of DC, and then decided
to go with a clinic that was local and convenient and had a
successful twin pregnancy. From my extensive blog reading, and
attending Google U, I'd say you have a pretty high chance of
getting pregnant, and staying pregnant, as long as the PGD is
accurate. You have a sense of what the anomaly is, unlike most
of us who miscarry, so the PGD is really the most important
If you do decide to stay local, I highly recommend Dr
at Reproductive Science Center in Orinda/San Ramon.
She is very smart, caring and honest about the likelihood of
success. I think she is also the director of PGD at RSC. Best of
luck to you--M/c's are awful.
I want to recommend
CCRM in Colorado.
Their success rates are
excellent, and I am now pregnant. One thing that they offer
which might be great for you is a type of pre-genetic testing
(CGH) that tests all 46 of the chromosomes on 5 day blasts, so
you know that you are only transferring normal embryos. The CGH
rate for pregnancy is 80% for women of all ages! You might
consider doing a phone consult with one of the doctors to see
what they think. The downside is that you have to go there for a
one day workup and do all of their tests, even ones you may have
just done at your local clinic, and of ocurse, you have to be in
CO for a couple of weeks, which makes it more expensive. Still,
I think it is worth it. Their lab is excellent, and I think that
is the big difference, in that they are able to get more 5 days
blasts, which increses outcome. If you go to IVFconnections.com
and go to IVF in the USA, then Colorado, you will see many
threads, including a large one about CGH. Good luck, I know how
hard the process is!
I want to very enthusiastically recommend the
IVF program at
UCSF. We had Dr. Paolo Rinaudo and he was terrific. The other
docs are great too, as are all their staff. They do a really good
job of informing you about all of the considerations, risks,
success rates, etc at every step of the way. I think that it
would be wise for you to at least speak with them or attend their
information session (once a month I think?) before you decide you
need to go to Colorado.
As everyone else has said, there are a variety of reasons that
IVF can fail. While producing enough eggs is important, the
quality and size of the eggs is also important, the timing of
everything is vital, what happens whether or not embryos are
created and their quality, etc. etc. We learned that the lab
folks are really the most imporant staff of an IVF Center, not
the docs. The lab is the place where the magic merging of egg and
sperm happens and it's a very specialized skill, especially with
A couple of things to look at with success rate statistics: age
of the women in the group, whether the group includes anyone who
is ''high risk'' (part of that classification is age), and
incidence of multiples. Some places get lots of live births
because they implant lots of embryos. But having a pregnancy
with multiples is high risk as well and not something to take
A few weeks ago, there was a parent here who wrote about the
challenges they face for being the “youngest parent on the
blog”. My situation is similar in some ways – I feel a lot of
isolation for being young (29) and infertile. I have been
dealing with my infertility for almost eight years with some
breaks in-between) and having been in support groups where the
average age is 38 can leave me feeling awkward so say the
least. In terms of relating to the other members on matters
having to do with life in general, it’s not a problem and I
have made many friends – the fertility aspect is a problem (for
me) though. The fact that I’m not the stereotypical young
woman who can get pregnancy easily is downright humiliating.
I hope I am not alone in this though I can understand if I am
especially in this area. Any words of wisdom or advice?
Young and Infertile
I don't have any great advice, but did want to let you know I
went through being young and infertile, too. I started TTC at
age 26, and finally had a baby at 30. At least the positive in
that was that I started relatively young and had time to deal
with the infertility before my clock really started ticking. I
don't remember ever really thinking about the youth factor at
the time, just how sad I was that I wasn't having a baby. It
was frustrating to have friends my age who got pregnant at the
drop of a wine cooler, but I found that connecting with other
women dealing with infertility, regardless of age, was a great
outlet. It sounds like you're already doing that.
Just Wanted You to Know You're Not Alone
I'm 43 now but dealt w/ infertility beginning at age 30. By the
time I joined a group most of us were 35. Open Path offers
facilitated groups for a fee. You would probably have to wait
for facilator to assemble a group of 20s early 30s women, but
could make that request, or use open path to create your own
member-facilitated group (someone did that for secondary
infertility). Perhaps pbn-ers in your situation will respond!
From my own experience, I wish for you the strength and self
knowledge to figure out how you would like to resolve and take
action and to move forward on that 'open path.' Infertility
treatment works best w/ young women. If you want to go big
guns, go big guns for best results. If you want to go
holistic/chinese medicine, your body will respond slowly over
time to new diet and changing energy...give it time to do so by
starting now. If you want to adopt, it takes 3-6 mos to get the
search going domestically, longer to get a placement, and
international has waits as well. And if you are going to be
childfree, take that trip around the world and embrace your
independence/heal with joy. I'm not advocating rushing into
decisions prematurely. But I am thinking of how my 30s and
early 40s have been marked by yearning and slow moving.
patience did pay off in that I did eventually conceive one
child by a combo of accupuncture and iui and some chemical
assistance. Best wishes!
I am so sorry for the struggle you've had for eight years. I
struggled with infertiliy for 7 years. I began trying at 30, but
if I had started younger I would have had the same issues.
In terms of connecting with the other women about infertility,
please don't let age be a barrier. Please don't blame yourself
for your infertility just because you're younger. At the same
time be careful to not assume that the other women only have
fertility problems because they are ''old''--or think they are at
fault for starting ''too late''. There are so many misconceptions
about infertility for women of all ages. I think so many of us
feel ''humiliated'' because as a country we don't educate our
selves about fertility or provide women with the health services
and information we need. So people not in the know assume getting
pregnant is so easy, and if you can't do it, it is your
fault--you waited too long, you're too uptight, etc. I have many
friends who were very understanding of my pain. And I appreciated
their support, however only other women who have experienced it
truly understand. So I think its so great that you have a support
group. Share with them your feelings and concerns about the age
difference. One final note, we now have a beautiful child through
adoption and can't believe how fortunate we are to have this baby
in our lives and family. All the frustration and saddness with
miscarriage and infertility have washed away. I wish you the best
Yup, I can relate. I was 30 when I found out the chance of
having kids was less than 5%. After being on the pill for my
entire adult life, this was quite a shock. It was hard to take,
but I think hearing the truth was a lot better than wondering why
I wasn't getting pregnant every month. We immediately went into
adoption mode and tried to adopt an infant via open adoption for
long while before trying egg donation via IVF. Now at 38 and a
mom of three (all from the same cycle), I know that the years of
frustration, anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness were for a
reason. I never would have had *these* kids had it happened any
other way. As I tell all my friends with fertility issues (and
there are many), you will have a family. I can't tell you how or
when, but if you want one, you will get one. And it will be the
perfect one for you.
Tired, but happy mom.
I can relate! I'm 30 and my husband is 34. Started trying to
conceive at 27 and 31, and adopted our son 2 years ago when
things weren't going as smoothly as we hoped (we planned to
adopt, anyway). Found out shortly thereafter that we both have
issues contributing to our infertility.
I'm sure there are plenty of us out there. I think the apparent
lack of ''young infertiles'' in the Bay Area goes hand-in-hand
with the fact that people tend to start families a bit later in
life here (therefore, experience more infertility OR just
discovery fertility problems later). Hang in there! Feel free
to ask for my e-mail!
Dear Young friend,
I understand the feelings this provokes in a woman. I am 26
yrs. old and have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian
Syndrome- which is more than a ovarian cyst because of hormonal
imbalance. I have a very severe case where I hemorrhage for up
to 9 months among other side effects. My case is pretty
extreme, but I do know many young women that are diagnosed (who
have less severe cases) and who suffer tremendously because of
their concern with infertility. “Know you are not alone- we are
I on the other hand worry about making it through another day
and am happy by just being alive whether or not I'm infertile
is not my biggest concern. Although I know my family, friends,
and different social structures sometimes make me question my
decision. However, I have learned to be happy with what I do
have and not feel in any way humiliated. I invite you to really
explore and deconstruct why infertility has such a profound
effect and if this experiences symbolizes more than just
I make it point to look and learn from women who never had
children and live fulfilled lives. I ask what makes them be
content. A very wise woman told me- they stop searching with
anxiety that which they cannot control or change. They live now
and love now and learn to value themselves for everything they
are without defining themselves by the ''stereotype model'' (for
at the end none of are stereotypes- we are individuals).
I'm not sure what your health situation is but give a look at
the PCOS online support group. You will find teen girls who
have PCOS and know they are infertile and so forth. They have a
yearly conference. I think you will find a lot of inspiration.
In general- I consciously correct my self whenever I feel this
experience lowers my spirit. I do not allow others to influence
me with their views, and most importantly I do not allow my
self to let stereotypes of women to invade my mind, body, and
I wish you the best in this journey and please feel free to
contact me if you have any questions.
I am 33, and have been trying to get pregnant with child #2 for
15 months. I know I am ovulating (ovulation sticks + Fertility
Awareness). First rounds of tests including semen analysis were
all normal, except progesterone in the low-normal range. My OB
is leaning toward trying Clomid, but that doesn't make much sense
to me as I know I am ovulating. I have another appt in a few
weeks, and I'm not sure whether I should look for a fertility
specialist or not... I don't have the desire, nor the funds for
lots of invasive procedures since I already have one wonderful
child (who BTW was conceived the first month of trying!). Any
Tired of storing baby clothes for ''Someday''
It's my understanding that Clomid causes more eggs to be ripened
and ready to be fertilized at ovulation, so it increases your
chance of getting pregnant. Good luck!
I worked at The Sperm Bank of California for a few years and
heard similar concerns from women contemplating assisted
reproduction. Though I began the job with a worried perspective
about fertility medications, my view shifted as I saw frustrated
women who had been trying to conceive for many months having
success after using clomid.
I reviewed the possible and proven side effects and decided that
the risks seemed worth it compared to not getting pregnant or
trying for too long.
When I changed jobs and a year later became a client of The Sperm
Bank of California, I had my own hormone levels tested, to find
out my progesterone was low, though I was also ovulating. After a
couple of tries without meds, I used clomid for a few cycles and
got pregnant. Now I'm pregnant with our second child, this time
using a different fertility medication. The Sperm Bank of
California has some good fertility information and links to
--a mama of one and pregnant with #2
I had a friend who had gotten pregnant easily the first time, but
went through EVERYTHING trying to get pregnant a second time.
Finally, they eventually figured out she had developed an immune
reaction against her husband's sperm. There is a simple way to
test for this. I'd ask for the test, just in case.
I had some indication that my progesterone was low, but apparently the
always show that this is the case. Perhaps that is what is preventing
your egg from
implanting or staying put. That was my situation. I took progesterone
suppositories and got pregnant and stayed pregnant on the first try with
progesterone, and for my second baby, on the second try after starting
progesterone. So, you never know for sure, but it seemed that that did
the trick for
me. My MD suggested I take clomid along with the progesterone the
around, since I was 38 (although I was ovulating fine) and I didn't
think that made
sense, at least before trying a few rounds with progesterone. So, it
seemed I was
right. Good luck finding the right approach, whatever that is for you.
I used Clomid for 6 months. The advantage is that it creates
more viable follicles available for fertilization. Your chances
of having twins doubles, but no, or very little increase in
multiples beyond twins.
I do not want to make you nervous - but there is something about
Clomid that you should know. It messes with your mind while
you're on it - it messes with your mind, A LOT.
For example, I felt, and ''saw'' myself crushing my partner's
skull with a giant rock and ''watched'' the blood leak onto the
bed. When I talked to my fertility specialist about this, she
was aware that some people had these feelings - but that I
should just make sure not to act on them, DUH, as my 8 year old
But that's just my point, I did get pregnant. I have a
beautiful, talented, bright, loving daughter . . . and
It was worth the Clomid
Don't pursue any fertility treatment, including clomid, with an OB. It
will be a
frustrating waste of time. I know you said you don't want to do
anything dramatic to
have another child, but I suggest that you see a reproductive
endocrinologist to find
out what's wrong (could be all sorts of explanations that your OB has
not looked into).
If you do decide to try clomid, at least an RE will follow your cycle
closely and let you
know if they don't think it will help. Susan Willman at RSC is a good
hope this helps
I, too, got pregnant with my first child during the first month
of trying and then had difficulty with getting pregnant with my
second. It sounds like you are using ovulation predictor sticks
aleady, but what really helped me was the Clear Plan Fertility
Monitor. It tracks your cycle over the whole month and lets you
know when the best days are for trying to conceive. It helped me
discover that while I was having regular cycles, I was ovulating
too late in the cycle to sustain a pregnancy or, in other words,
I had a luteal phase defect. Not saying you have this
specifically, but the monitor helped me diagnose myself
essentially and when I brought this information to the attention
of my OB, I was put on progesterone and got pregnant with my son
shortly thereafter. I have other friends with similar stories.
It may be worth a shot. Good luck!
Trouble Trying for #2 Too
I had my kids at age 39 and 41. We started trying right after I
got married when I was 36. At 38, I went on Clomid (and
ultimately for both pregancies) and wondered why if I was
detecting my surge and ovulating was I not getting pregnant.
Everything checked out. So, we went on Clomid and both times it
took us five tries. We also did IUI as extra insurance each time
because I heard that Clomid can sometimes make your cervical
muccus too thick for the sperm to travel. So, both times it took
FIVE tries. And we now have two kids as a result. It's definitely
better than going to the next level and much cheaper. Word to the
wise, tho, when you're on the clomid you SUPER ovulate so it's
can be uncomfortable. I kinda liked it because I KNEW something
was going on.
I had low progesterone issues and Clomid did the trick for me. I don't
know why, it
To answer the second part of your question, here is my experience: with
son, I responded right away to clomid, got pregnant on my first cycle
IUI after 15 months of TTC naturally. When we tried to get pregnant
again a couple
of years later, I wasn't as responsive to the clomid, so my regular OB
up the dosage until I was taking 200 mg. (which is a lot) After several
cycles with IUI
at the highest dosage, he finally referred me to the IVF clinic at UCSF
hormone injections. After my consultation, the specialist I saw there
going back to a lower dosage of clomid plus progesterone suppositories,
OB could have prescribed if he had actually known what he was doing. I
pregnant on the first cycle. Another advantage of the specialist was
that she really
monitored my cycle with ultrasounds so we knew how many eggs were being
produced. Even though my insurance company only paid for part of the
with the in-network negotiated rates we only ended up paying a few
dollars for everything. Even though everything finally worked out and I
wonderful boys, at the time I kind of wished that I had gone to a
specialist from the
get-go and perhaps they wouldn't have been spaced so far apart.
Go for the specialist
I had a miscarriage in December and gained 7 pounds during the
pregnancy. I am dying to lose the weight, but also trying to get
pregnant. Does anyone know of any reason I couldn't calorie
restrict and exercise while in fertility mode?
Luckily for you, women with the highest fertility diet scores ate
less trans fat and sugar from carbohydrates, consumed more
protein from vegetables than from animals, ate more fiber and
iron, took more multivitamins, had a lower BMI, exercised for
longer periods of time each day, and, surprisingly, consumed more
high-fat dairy products and less low-fat dairy products.
So, you can lose weight and simultaneously increase your chance
of getting pregnant. Just eat less trans fat, less sugar, more
vegetable protein, more fiber, more iron, and more cheese.
Exercise more and take a multi-vitamin.
Exercise and mild calorie restriction should not affect your
fertility, provided you go back to a higher-calorie diet once
you test positive for pregnancy. If you drastically reduce your
calories, you might dip in fertility. Try to cut out about 200
calories a day or so and exercise, but don't go overboard.
From a Chinese Medicine perspective: eating a well balanced
diet, full of fresh fruit and (mostly cooked) vegetables, some
whole grains and enough protien is the best way to get your
body ready for carrying a baby. Eliminating junk food, sugar,
juice, soda etc while eating this balanced diet should be
enough to get your body to an ideal weight also.
Exercise is very important, it gets the circulation going and
improves the health of every system. However, too much can be
detrimental especially while preparing for a baby. If you feel
energized after you work out - that's enough, but if you feel
exhausted, then you are using up your energy not replensishing
G., Licensed Acupuncturist
Unless you are underweight I wouldn't think losing a few pounds
would hurt. If you are more on the overweight side it could only
help. I struggled for a long time to get pregnant w/ No. 2. I
am on the heavy side. Someone recommended to me a book called
''Fertility Foods''. I got it and read it. It is based on eating
foods that are low in the Glycemic Index. This is similar to
South Beach of maybe a Diabetic type diet. So, think doing any
of these might be helpful as long as they aren't drastic. I
ended up having to get extra help but was taking medication that
made me very carb sensitive so basically ate low in the Glycemic
Index. Now that I'm pregnant I can say that it was good for me
to eat this way for +1 month. It's sort of balanced me out and
is still keeping me away from excess (non-complex) carbs.
- Good Luck to You!!!
Well, you don't want to calorie restrict too much. Eat at least
1500 calories a day, for sure. Eat healthy foods--fruits,
veggies, lean meats, whole grains, plenty of water, nuts,
seeds-you get the picture. There is no reason you can't do
moderate exercise. A couple of studies suggest that there is a
boost in fertility when a few pounds are lost, on those of us
that need to lose a few. From my own experience, I got pregnant
two months after I joined the Y and lost about 5-7 pounds.
Getting in better shape is also just great preparation for
pregnancy. You want to be in the best possible shape and stay there!
Personally, I don't think weight loss mode is especially conducive to
fertility. It can
affect your hormonal balance. I had fertility problems for a couple of
years before I
had my daughter, and it turned out the reason was related to low body
fat and too
much exercise. I was still ovulating regularly but was not able to
hormones needed to allow a pregnancy to implant. A little more fat and
went away. Unless your baseline is very heavy, I'd recommend keeping
Worry about your weight after your baby is born, or better yet, when he
or she is ready
The only recommendation I would have is that if you have some
misgivings about your ''fertility diet'' then don't do it. Your OB
would probably tell you not to diet while you're trying to get
pregnant, and you will feel like the worst kind of self-centered,
inadequate fertility problem woman if you have another
miscarriage. Not that you caused it, but you might feel like it
was your fault, and that is not worth it. I know this from my
experience, and the fear of another miscarriage (or lack of
pregnancy, as my age continued to march on) grew ever larger. 7
pounds won't kill you, honest. Even if you come out just looking
like a tired mom as opposed to Ms. Gorgeous, you'll be fine. I
know this too. I'd love to have a few extra pounds off me, (and I
have no more babies along the way), but it's not really that
important if you really, really want to get pregnant. It's
actually not really that important anyway you look at it. In
fact, I used to be accused of being anorexic (I wasn't), so I
know what it's like to be skinny, lithe, and fit, and at this
point I would love to say that I only had 7 lbs to lose, but the
worst thing is just coming to terms with my new body image being
different than my old body image. But really, big deal. I'm a
good person, my daughter loves me, could care less what I look
like, and honestly, from the previous generation's perspective,
I'm still gorgeous.
I am a 34 year old mama to a 2 year old girl and have been trying to conceive baby
#2 since June (6 months). I charted my temperature and used opk's with my
daughter and we conceived her on the second month of trying--it happened very
fast. I figured conceiving #2 would be just about as quick and am feeling very
discouraged and depressed as it is now 6 months later. I have been charting and
using opk's and have a regular cycle (I know when I ovulate and have no
reproductive issues--that I know of--I had an uncomplicated pregnancy with my
daughter and a natural, unmedicated vaginal birth). My husband had his semen
analyzed last month and all is normal. I know many people struggle for months and
even years with infertility but I never thought of myself as one of them given my
history. All my friends and playgroup moms are having kids 2 years apart and now
I'm worrying about my kids being far apart in age. Any support, advice, words of
encouragement and success stories welcome.
i totally understand what you are going through. the frustration, heartache
unfairness can seem unbearable at times. we tried to conceive for a year
undergoing fertility testing to find out i had a very slight hormonal
imbalance. i was
prescribed medication for it, but that was not what i wanted to do so i went
acupuncture instead. after the first visit my hormones changed quite
months later we were pregnant! maybe you dont even have anything 'officially'
wrong but i still think acupuncture can help just to balance everything out,
extra blood and energy to your uterus, relieve stress, etc. just hang in
knowing the intricate details of how conception takes place its a surprise
any of us
get pregnant at all! it can take time, and that doesn't mean anything is
you. try not to focus on it so much (i know that can be impossible) because
adds to the stress. i can highly recommend marti kennedy at the ashby center
complimentary medicine in berkeley. she specializes in fertility and womens
www.martileekennedy.com GOOD LUCK!!
I am sorry you are going through this. I know how frustrating and depressing
be, among other things. I would recommend you get your hormone levels tested
of all. Even at 34, things can begin to change in a way that makes
difficult. Once having obtained that info, I would take it to my favorite
Abigail Surasky, in Berkeley. One of her specialties is women's issues,
infertility. She is responsible for getting my body able to have my third
number is 845-8017.
You'll be happy to hear that a recent study quoted in the New
York Times recommends five years as the ideal spacing for both
mother and children:
''A spacing of about five years is apparently optimal,'' Dr.
Kidwell said. ''It frees the parent from having to meet the
demands and pressures of two children close together in age, thus
allowing parents and children more time in one-to-one interaction
for a more supportive and relaxed relationship.''
Children born about two years apart, Dr. Kidwell points out, are
likely to have the most intense competition for parental
attention throughout their lives.
I know what you're going through and I sympathize. It's so hard
to expect to get pregnant right away and not have it happen. My
only advice is to be patient and try not to worry(yeah right,
huh?). It took my husband and I a full year to get pregnant
with our first (and only at this point). In the meantime, 2
friends got pregnant within the first 3 months of trying. It
seemed like everyone around me was pregnant and we just couldn't
do it. Then my birthday month hit at the 12th month of trying
and I said screw it, I'm not thinking about it this month and
took a mental break. I partied for the first time in months,
went camping, did all kinds of fun stuff and boom, I got
pregnant. Maybe a nice vacation or a month break from the
temperature taking, etc might help get your mind off of it
(although I know that never truly happens). I also told myself
that the baby I was meant to have would come when it was ready,
and she did. Take care and have some fun.
I have two children, both pregnancies achieved easily between
ages 32 and 35. Now I’ve just turned 39 and we are trying for
a third. We’ve been working at it for nine months, I have
gotten pregnant twice, both ending in miscarriage at 6-8
weeks. In the event of another pregnancy, my OB has said to
call him immediately and he will put me on both baby aspirin
and progesterone. Still waiting for that to happen…
I’m not willing to go to extreme and expensive lengths for a
third child, but are there easy things I can do to maintain a
pregnancy? And in the event of a third miscarriage, what kinds
of testing should I have done (bearing in mind the fact that I
will not do IVF and probably won’t do Clomid)?
I am completely new to this world of fertility issues…don’t
even know where to start. Am I even asking the right questions?
Family Not Quite Complete
I'm 38 and trying for No. 2. I was clueless w/ No. 1. I've been
trying for 15 months now. Someone recommended a book called
Taking Charge of Your Own Fertility. I highly recommend it for
ALL women. It is extremely informative. So, take a look at that
and use the info. I also belong to a Yahoo Group for people TTC
& monitor some of the fertility boards at
Mothering.com/Discussions. I've learned a ton monitoring those
two sites. (Frankly, I'm suprised that there is not more
discussion on this board). Good luck, I've seen many people
locally have a lot of success at your similar age.
Like you, I wasn't having problems getting pregnant but staying
pregnant. When I
started trying to have a baby, I miscarried twice (8 weeks & 5 weeks).
much support or answers from my doctor, I switched and was told by the
to call as soon as I learned I was pregnant again to start progesteron.
tested my FSH levels. Progesterone was easy & inexpensive--a
suppository. I will
never know if my body could have sustained this third pregnancy on its
doctor's opinion was that progesterone can only help. If I didn't need
it wouldn't hurt. I do remember my fears at 15 weeks when my doc told
me it was
time to stop the progesterone. She assured me the placenta had ''taken
that point. I was 42 at the time of conception and the birth of
girtl/boy twins. FSH
tests showed my levels were ''normal.'' The twins were a big surprise
to advanced maternal age).
I wish for you all you hope for!
I, too, had multiple miscarriages before age 40. 2 were from
aneuploidy and one was from retained products of conception
from an incomplete D&C.
Aneuploidy is the number one cause of miscarriages but there
are other causes, so it can be worthwhile seeing a reproductive
endocrinologist to be sure you've had the whole workup. In my
experience OB's don't know the whole recurrent miscarriage
workup but RE's do.
Aneuploidy increases with age, so if the other tests come out
normal (hysteroscopy to check for retained products is
reasonable, since you could have scarring from one of your
deliveries), you could either keep trying till you ''get the
good egg,'' or do IUI's with injectable gonadotropins to
increase the number of eggs per try. You would ''hope'' for
twins, and the euploid one would keep growing while the
aneuploid one disappeared.
BTW, Clomid is not an option over 35 because it thickens the
cervical mucous and thins the uterine lining, so letting a
general OB give you the stuff could lead to more miscarriages
from thin lining. Please, please, please don't let a general
OB manage your infertility. I've watched in pain as several
friends have lost a year or more doing just that. Fertility
drops like a stone starting now, so time is of the essence in
getting the best care possible.
Congratulations on your two live children!!!!! During my
recent fertility woes, my toddler and husband have been a great
source of comfort that my life is good no matter what.
It's so painful to be ''surprised'' by difficulty getting
pregnant. (I never succeeded, and I have just adopted a
delightful baby.) My advice is go see a fertility specialist
right away. I'm sure your doctor is great, but fertility
specialists can explore and pursue with you the wide range of
options (not just IVF and Clomid), depending on what's going on
with you, and your husband (could be him, ya know). (BTW I
found injectible FSH drugs much easier than what I've heard
about Clomid.) There are lots of simple tests, including hormone
levels (I imagine you've done this), make sure your tubes are
not blocked, and, perhaps, do a (simple) biopsy to check your
endometrial lining to see your actual progesterone levels in the
tissue where it matters.
Also, I'd highly recommend the book: Taking Charge of Your
Fertility, rev. (Toni Weschler) Great for people trying to get
pregnant, or trying not to. It should be required reading in
high school Health Educ.!!
Many blessings on your fertility journey. May your 3rd child
I completely understand your reluctance to go to extreme and
expensive lengths to get pregnant...At 39 my husband and I
decided we wanted children, but then I had trouble getting
pregnant and went through the medical establishment for help. I
found the process demoralizing, in that I was ''diagnosed'' with
low ovarian reserve (which they said also meant poor egg
quality) and told I should go straight to IVF. My husband and I
decided we weren't going to do that, but that I would try
acupuncture and herbs as a last resort...Well, I found a
wonderful acupuncturist and herbalist and I became pregnant
within three months of treatment. I had had a miscarriage
before, so I was concerned about ''holding'' the baby. She
prescribed herbs, which apparently worked, and I had a healthy
baby girl...We decided to try for another, and at 42 am pregnant
with my second child! Anyway, there are many wonderful
acupuncturists out there, and I personally recommend Anca Sira
in San Rafael. You can google her name and look at her
website. Her email address is email@example.com. She is
incredibly responsive and caring, and will work with you to
address whatever your concerns are for getting pregnant and for
maintaining a healthy pregnancy.
Jenny in Oakland
I had a similar situation -- an easy pregnancy and then a great
deal of difficulty getting pregnant, including a miscarriage,
with my second at age 39. It turned out that I had
hypothyroidism and this greatly affects fertilty. My doctor
thought that I had developed this during my first pregnancy,
which is common. As soon as I was on medication, I got pregnant
and had a easy pregnancy and a healthy baby at age 41. I also
went on to have another baby at 43 -- again, an easy pregnancy.
If you haven't already done so, I would suggest that your doctor
run a simple blood test to check your thyroid. Good luck!
mom of 3
I suggest you try the acupuncture and Chinese herbs route. I had great
success at the
age of 41 using that. I hope you get that third baby!
There are several things you can look into without having to
resort to Clomid or injectibles.
First, I would suggest you get your hands on Toni Weschler
(sp?) book Taking Charge (Control) of your Fertility. It helps
explain your cycle, which helps in figuring out optimal timing
for your attempts to get pregnant. I would also suggest you go
to the web site associated with the book: www.ovusoft.com
There is a great support community there that you can tap into
regarding your attempts to get pregnant and keep pregnant. I
would also suggest buying the software Toni has to help you
calculate your optimum time of the month to get pregnant.
I would also suggest you get a copy of an herb book geared
towards women (I loaned my copy out; so, I can't tell you the
name of it). The one I had had an herbal recipe that naturally
helped with fertility.
I would also suggest springing for an ovulation monitor. I
think I used Clear Blue Easy Ovulation monitor that cost around
$200. You can probably get a used one for half that amount.
I used all of these techniques, and was able to get pregnant at
age 42. This isn't to say that what worked for me will work
for you, but just to say that there are less invasive ways to
get pregnant than resorting to Clomid or injectibles, if you
don't have any organic reasons for not getting pregnant. With
regard to using progesterone after getting pregnant, I know
plenty of women in their late 30s and early 40s who had healthy
babies while using progesterone to protect the pregnancy; so,
you shouldn't sweat about using that once you get pregnant next
found success short of fertility meds
If I were you, I would
beg your MD for a referral to an RE (e.g., Susan Willman). You'll
probably have another miscarriage by the time he gets around to
granting your request, but by the time you have three you should
be DEMANDING it. Every miscarriage is very painful, and it's
awful that you have to go through it so many times before you can
be seen by a real specialist. The specialist will go through a
number of tests that are fairly simple, ruling out the obvious
problems that can be easily corrected. Note that most specialists
have a 6-8 week waiting list to see them. And you can tell the
specialist that you're not really inclined toward IVF or Clomid.
And wouldn't you be better off knowing that you'd eliminated the
things that can be easily corrected? (Hopefully you will be that
lucky). Oh, and don't give up yet. If you've already had a
couple of kids, your chances of conceiving are much higher than
mine were. It just takes time when you're older. Only about a
third of pregnancies take anyway, and chances are lower when
you're older. Plus, if you see a specialist, you'll find out if
you're having sex at the right time or just wasting your energy.
(You can combine ovulation kit with watching your other signs, a
la ''taking charge of your fertility'' by Toni Weschler, and
document things further by taking your temperature. But keep in
mind that once your temp has risen, you've already ovulated. So
too late...) Good luck.
Try taking B12, I know three women who got pregnant and
had trouble sustaining it, then did the B12 therapy and got
successfully pregnant very soon afterwards. It has
something to do with progesterone levels? Can't recall
exactly. Check on the web for information on the right
amount, I can't recall that offhand either.
You're asking all the right questions. I suggest you buy the
book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. That book answers all the
questions you are asking. I'm also 39 and it's pretty normal
for women to have miscarriages and it gets more normal as we
age. However, there are some MDs who are really good at finding
out why the miscarriages are happening even though that can't
always be determined. It sounds to me like your MD is giving
you two remedies for miscarriage without having found the
Speaking from someone having gone through fertility treatments
unsuccessfully in my
early 40s (which were worth the effort and expense nevertheless), if I
were you I would
not hesitate to see a reproductive endocrinologist who could fully
advise you on the
testing that could be done and what your options are for you
specifically, given your
threshold for intervention, and based on your individual test results.
And by the way
my understanding is that you need to take the baby aspirin every day in
getting pregnant and the progesterone as soon as you ovulate. So you may
too late if you wait until you find out you're pregnant to take these
things. But don't
take my word for it! Consult the experts!
I noticed someone recommended
to you and I want
to add my 2 cents:
She is great. I went through what you are now experiencing. I
tried everything and crying, begging, many times with my HMO to
change Doctors, I somehow finaly got with Susan Willman.
I don't want to bore you with what I had to live through to get
there, and it was worth it. She did quite a lot of ''plastic
surgery'' on my uterus, removing non-oxygen producing areas,
making room, etc.....pronounced it ''beautiful'' and did IVF. I
will say that she never gave me a ray of false hope and
sometimes I wished she would not make it sound like such a long
shot. I did 4 rounds before I got my son. He is perfect.
The second (IVF) pregnancy came & went easily and I have 2
perfect boys; 5 & 8 years old thanks to her.
I can not say enough good things about her. I have heard people
get mad about this and that, the office / business end / her
manner..... I can only praise her. Because when all is said and
done, I have 2 perfect children after 7 years of trying
everything and a lot of demoralizing incompetence from other
Drs who have good local reputations.
I feel disloyal mentioning that there even was a negative side,
but, we are so pumped up on hormones and hope and fear,
frustration, sadness,....so much.....! How could there not be
something? And what we have to do to pay for it? Another whole
subject! But anyway, I just wanted to chime in and say that
Susan Willman is a saint in my heart and I am eternally
gratefull to her. She is a very talented reproductive
endocrinologist as well as a uterus sculptor.
She is great!
Most miscarriages are from chromosomal abnormalities, and the
rate of these abnormalities increases with age. I would run away
from any physician who recommends empirically treating with
progesterone instead of doing a miscarriage workup. Please go to
a good, ehical RE and get the full recurrent miscarriage workup,
and don't let an OB manage this anymore. Also, send the products
of conception for chromosomes on any subsequent miscarriages.
Since you didn't mention any miscarriages when you were younger,
I'll assume you didn't have any. If you have always miscarried,
you and your partner should have your full chromosomes run to
check for balanced translocations, etc. If you have a new
partner since the birth of your live children, he'll need to have
his chromosomes tested.
Since you are getting pregnant, I assume you know when you are
ovulating, either b/c your menstrual cycles are perfectly regular
and you try to conceive 14 days before your expected menses, you
are using LH (ovulation predictor) kits, are doing cervical
mucous or temperature testing. If you do know when you are
ovulating, if you consistently get your period 14 days later, you
do not have a luteal phase defect and are not likely to need
Time is passing fast, and if a third child is very important to
you, it will make a difference that you are being aggressive
Some post-ers mentioned Chinese herbs and acupuncture. I used
acupuncture for a thin uterine lining, and it had absolutely no
effect, in fact the next cycle when I tried without acupuncture,
my lining was thicker.
Learned the hard way
Hi, I am 38.5 and have been trying to get pregnant for ~18 months. I started with
timed intercourse with BBTs. I got basic infertility tests (everything was
unremarkable for me and my partner) and I had an FSH of 8.6 in 2/2007. My OB/
gyn who gave me clomid for 2 months-- no luck. I insisted on seeing an RE and we
started injections with IUI-- still no success twice. I had my FSH retested (6
later) and now it's 11.1! Needless to say, I am starting to panic. I've had
no success all these months-- not even late by 1 day. My next step is IVF but
seems so invasive and I'm struggling to remain positive. I wasn't particularly
pleased with my last RE (lab tests got lost, phone calls dropped and there are
b/c she's out of the office-- which I realize isn't her fault) but I feel like I'm
huge step, I'm very anxious and I'm not in a good state to critically evaluate
other alternative therapies. Does anyone have any suggestions?
I went through a similar process. I did try the IVF once and it
was very intense. I then tried accupunctire to no avail. I
didn't get pregnant but we instead opted for adoption. We did
domestic adoption and brought our daughter home when she was 4
days old. It was a great decision. We have a fantastic 14 month
old who I wouldn't trade for the world.
The main problem I had was that although all of my levels were
fine I just wasn't getting more than 2 or 3 eggs maturing
(usually women get 5 or more per cycle with fetility
interventions) You don't say what might be reducing your chances
of pregnancy but if its the egg issue IFV may not have any
Just remember there are many options for having a family!
I went thru something similar in trying to get pregnant for 3
years from the time I was 32 until I succeeded at 35. The docs
could find nothing really wrong with me. I has a lot of work-
ups and tried clomid and IUI. The next step was exploratory
surgery and IVF. I wasn't ready to jump on that train, so we
decided to take a break from trying. During this break, I
started exercising regularly - riding my bike 3x week. I was
pregnant within 2 weeks!
I have friends who also had fertility issues and exercise
turned out to be the deciding factor for them too.
You don't say if you're exercising or not, but if not, I highly
recommend it. I know everybody's experience is different, but I
can not emphasize enough how important exercise is for
wellbeing - including fertility.
Get fit and get pregnant!
I've heard that a couples vacation timed to coincide with your fertile
sometimes help, because of relaxation and stress reduction. Not one
whirwind have-to-see-as-much-as-possible vacations, but the relax and
and get away from it all blissful kind of vacation -- whatever that
means to you. Don't
know if you've tried this, but if nothing else, it's great reason to
take a vacation!
I am a little older than you and have been trying for 2 years
now. We tried on our own, did the usual fertility work-up at my
OBGYN after 6 months and like you, nothing remarkable. I tried
an RE and did a clomid cycle which was negative. I also tried
accupuncture for 6 months and have been taking heavy duty
prenatal vitamins for almost a year now. Nothing has really
helped though I do feel a lot healthy on the vits. I finally
decided, because of my age to try IVF. I did a bunch of
research and actually travelled to do the treatment - I wanted
to go for the best since I was probably only going to be able
to afford to try once. Before I did IVF the RE ordered a bunch
of alloimmune and autoimmune tests as well as other tests and
it turned out that I had an immune problem with my husband. I
also had raised natural killer cell activation which can affect
implantation. We will be doing IVIG to counteract these
issues. So I would advise that you get these sorts of tests
done too as this might be your problem too and can be
corrected. Even if your FSH is over 9, you can find RE's who
can give you an individualized drug protocol for IVF, which can
give you a good shot of producing decent eggs even at our age.
Also the self-injections are not as bad as I had expected and I
had almost no side-effects.
I also found out recently that I had endo. which can affect
fertility, so in hindsight I'm not surprised that I couldn't
succeed on my own. If you want to know more about the tests and
treatment and which RE I chose and why, you can ask for my
Have you considered acupuncture to help? I haven't experienced
infertility issues, however I have been successfully treated by
this wonderful SF acupuncturist, Dr. Lifang Liang, for other
female related disorders (i.e., Endometriosis). While her
website and book specifically mention acupuncture with IVF, I
am sure she has a range of treatments to help infertility
hormones levels, etc.
She's a super nice lady. She has studied and practiced both
Western and Eastern medicines. My friend's daughter also went
to her for some teenage hormone imbalances, and had positive
results. I know if I ever had trouble conceiving, I would go
Her website is http://www.lifangliang.com
BTW: I've always had a fear of needles, however getting stuck
with acunpunture needles was not difficult at all. The Chinese
herbs can sometimes be quite strong tasting and have pungent
odors, however I knew they were doing me good.
I realize every situation is different, but I conceived my
first at 38 and my second at 40, both through using clomid and
both times it took five tries. So, I'd stick it out a little
longer. I remember getting frustrated by try #2, too and the
fertility doc told us that most people get pregnant after five
rounds. Good luck!
mom of 2
Firstly, Don't Panic--stay calm. I have had friends deal with
this issue. I highly recommend you visit Donna Parker, L.Ac a
licensed 5 elements acupuncturist who specializes in infertility.
She has a wonderful manner and she comes recommended by women
who are dealing with your issue.
You can contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org and visit her
website at donnaacupuncture.com and read about the fertility
treatment. Again, she is amazing--
I will say I pretty much followed a similar path to you. Nothing seemed
''wrong'' with me or my husband in lab tests, but still, after timing
sex for 2 years,
then 3 clomid cycles, then 3 injectible IUIs, we had no success (except
I did have a
''biochemical'' pregnancy that never took with one IUI). Then I moved on
to IVF and
was successful the first time with twins - but then they found no
heartbeat at 7
weeks. Then I tried a frozen IVF cycle and I am now in my 7th month of
with a singleton. I was 39 when I got pregnant; I'll be 40 on my due
An obvious ''problem'' getting to this point would seem to be my age
started trying - I was about 35 or 36 I suppose, even though follicle
scans at age 39
said I had the ovaries of a 21 year old (a direct quote from my
With that - I don't think IVF is really all that more invasive than an
IUI, and the
success rates are higher. You will do the injections just like you did
before. The only
difference is they will try to create more follicles and they will
''harvest'' them. It's
not that bad a process. It's just more expensive. But with the higher
rates of success
(an IUI I think has at max a 25-30 percent success rate depending on
course, and IVF is higher - you can talk to your doctor about your
I'd say because you're not happy with your current doctor - get a new
one. There are
plenty around here and it's a competitive business (hear all the ads on
the radio for
them?). I ended up not being too happy with the doctor that did the IUIs
- I felt she
wasn't aggressive enough and it seemed I could never see HER when it
came to D-
Day- the day we put the turkey baster in and bathed my eggs with my
''boys - so I switched doctors when I ''graduated'' to IVF. I was SO
happy. And being
happy and comfortable with your doctor is half the battle, I swear.
It's hard not to get discouraged - but perhaps if you take some control
situation - get a new doctor, for example - you will feel like you DO
control over what's happening, or not happening, to your body.
In terms of alternative therapies - I wouldn't scrap the path you're on
just yet. You
can do both IVF and doctor-approved other stuff at the same time. I did
acupuncture for the second IVF. Did that put me over the top? Who knows?
I'd try it for what it was worth. If anything it's a relaxing 30
minutes, and at this
point, you need all the relaxing time you can get.
Good luck. It's hard, and I know it doesn't help to hear other people's
stories right now. But don't be scared to take that next step. It may
just be the one
you need to take.
--A friend, even though you don't know me
My partner and I tried to get pregnant for forever. After trying
without any ''help'', we ended up doing 10 IUIs over about 18
months. We finally got pregnant the first time we did IVF. All I
can say about it is that I wish we had done it so much sooner.
It was so stressful to try month after month with NOTHING--I
kept putting off IVF thinking it was so invasive, or such a big
thing, or the end of the road--not to mention expensive. In the
end though, we spent more on all the IUIs than we did on the
IVF! It actually wasn't that big of a deal--it was so much LESS
stressful than all of the other procedures where we had so much
less of a chance of getting pregnant. If I had to do it over
again, I wouldn't have waited so long--I would've skipped right
to IVF in the beginning. We started all of the fertility
treatments with an OBGyn, then switched to an RE that we loved.
He said that the clomid + IUIs will work in the first 4 mos
(generally) if it is going to work. We should've done IVF right
after that and saved ourselves a lot of heartache. (We used
Fujimoto at UCSF by the way and LOVED him!)
All I can say is--first, you have to completely trust the RE you
are working with. If you don't, please find someone else.
Second, don't be scared of the IVF. It wasn't bad at all, and it
gave us the best chance of getting pregnant--and I wish in
retrospect we hadn't wasted all that time thinking it was too
big of a jump!
-FINALLY a mom
I tried all of the things you did when I was trying to conceive
our second child. Finally what worked for us was having sex
earlier in the month and having a chiropractic adjustment. I
really believe that making sure my lower back and pelvis was in
allignment helped to relax all of the nerves in my pelvis
allowing me to become pregnant. In addition having sex before
ovulation worked for us, or maybe I was ovulating earlier in
the month than I thought? Best of luck!
First off, I appreciate that it must be very hard to deal with
all the issues that you're facing. I went through 3.5 years of
trying to conceive before I finally got pregnant with IVF last
year. Admittedly, I was in my early 30s when we started, but
like you there was clinically ''nothing wrong'' with either me or
my husband, which left us feeling like there was nothing we
could do other than keep trying. We partly took so long
because we were utterly clueless where to begin and didn't know
anyone else who was in our situation. What I think finally
gave us our best chances was finding our ''dream team'' of
specialists. They weren't necessarily the most popular or most
expensive, but they were all very competent and quick to
respond, and really helped with the emotional sides of going
through infertility treatments. In fact, we tended to find
that the more expensive and popular practitioners we tried gave
us the least personal attention and we often wound up missing
cycles and being frustrated. In the end, our awesome RE was
Dr. Mary Hinckley at the RSC
in Orinda (you can get there by
BART if necessary), and our accupuncturist was Christina Martin
who is now at 4th street. Also, you will find many wonderful
people who are going through infertility at a variety of ages
through the Resolve website (www.resolve.org). It's a great
place to connect with other people that understand what an
upcoming round of treatments means for you and offer advice.
Misc. points: If you haven't done accupuncture, I'd definitely
recommend it. I couldn't believe how quickly my body responded
to it - after just a couple of treatments, I no longer felt
menstrual cramps from my periods. This may seem irrelevant,
but when you're already upset about seeing your period and a
failed cycle, it helps to have this bit of comfort. Also, it
can help with FSH levels. Although we had a good experience
with the RSC, I will mention that the person who organizes our
cases was a bit disorganized. She did give us a calendar, but
we found that we often had to call her to remind her to place a
prescription in to the pharmacy, etc. Once we realized this,
everything went smoothly. As for going through IVF, we wish in
retrospect that we had done it earlier. It is indeed invasive
and expensive, but it gives you information that you can't get
any other way about the quality of your eggs, the fertilization
process, etc. Our first embryo transfer didn't work, but we
had embryos left to transfer that finally resulted in our
daughter. If you can afford IVF, it could really help clarify
what you need to do to move forward towards having a child.
Hi I got pregnant @ 45 and delivered a healthy 8 lbs baby boy @ 46.
things I did prior too... tried for 18 months, then started to
get serious so thats when I went to acupuncture. Did that for
about 5 months, then stopped and went to ob-gyn and she put me on
Femara, like clomide but not exactly, got pregnant the first
month! Also I had quit work and just tried to relax and enjoy
life. I have no idea why or how but I just tried to stay in the
moment, lots of yoga, lots of laughing oh ya we said oh well
maybe we should adopt and then I got pregnant!
sounds like you've tried all the non-invasive options. i
recommend that you find a RE doc or clinic that you really like
who doesn't waste your precious time and money by losing labs and
not call ing you and go for invitro. NOW.at 38.5 with a fsh of
11+ you need to skip the ''alternative options'' . every cycle that
passes decreases the chances that you'll be able to use one of
your own eggs, and your increasing FSH is an objective measure of
that fact. isn't an FSH of 10 related to menopause? look this up
but i think it's so.
a RE doc i work with (i'm a certified nurse midwife) recently
told me that the average 40 year old only has 20 percent of her
eggs that are still healthy. yikes. he said that the most
important factor in conception is the age of the woman. he said
that about 5 times to make sure i really got it because i'm
almost 41 and want a second child.
your post is a good reminder that ''modern'' women have started to
take fertility for granted (not you i'm speaking in general
terms).we (including me) have made our lives more well rounded
with career, recreation, travel, and just enjoying life, but
forgeting that after 35 fertility starts to decrease and does so
dramatically at 40. we're not all going to be on the cover of
People magazine with our twins at 40, and in fact most of us
can't even get pregnant at 40 and those twins probablly cost $50K.
good luck to you and remind every woman you know not to wait to
have those babies. we can do lots of thing after we have babies,
but if we wait too long doing other stuff that other stuff is all
we'll ever have.
i'm going to light a candle and think of you tonight with your baby.
wishing you well
It may or may not help, but have you read Taking Charge of your
Fertility? Many people don't need IVF (you might, I don't know),
and can manage this with more info than doctor's offices usually
I had a similar story/fsh/age. After 3 years of failed injectible and
clomid cycles and
every test in the book, I finally opted to have a laparoscopy (we
couldn't afford IVF
or adoption). It turned out I had mild endometriosis, and it was
removed with a
laser during the surgury. It took a week or two to recover enough to go
work, but I conceived the first inj. cycle afterwards. After weaning
that child I
conceived naturally twice (ending in early miscarriages). I did another
inj. cycle and
am now in the second trimester. Endometriosis can have no symptoms
infertility, or you can have some symptoms. I had shockingly bad
cramps, which have never returned in the 4 years since the surgery. I'm
certain that for me the endometriosis was the main problem. Once we got
rid of it, I
just needed a little hormonal boost to get pregnant with a ''good'' egg.
I hope you
find your solution soon. Check out Dr. Susan Willman at RSC in Orinda.
best of luck to you
I was in the same spot you're in now and my advice is to do IVF
immediately and do
as many cycles as you can endure emotionally, physically and
financially. It was
hard for me to become pregnant but I did by doing ICSI and IVF with my
And I feel strongly that it would have been worth going through IVF even
if I had
NOT gotten pregnant because I needed to do everything possible before
I realize that may not be your style but it sounds like you are really
upset about the
amount of time you are spending trying other methods. It sounds like
not trying IVF
will only add to your anxiety and panic unless you are ready to stop
intervention and let nature decide for you.
Time is not on your side and, unless there is been a huge medical
am unaware of, IVF is the way to go - don't waste your time with IUI's
researching alternative therapies. The FSH number is useful but we
everything about infertility so try not to focus on that. I was lucky
to find a doctor
that didn't mess around and helped me through four IVFs as quickly and
comfortably as possible. He didn't focus on the FSH and mine was 18 at
Another patient conceived with an FSH of 21.
But the first doctor I saw was not helpful - wasted precious time with
IUI's and then told me it was impossible and to try donor eggs. I am a
that your doctor has been continuing with less aggressive procedures for
months. Do you feel this doctor is a good match for you? If you are
committed to pursuing IVF you need a doctor who will support you
Obviously a doctor should be realistic with you about your chances but
he or she
should also rally for you and help you move on to the next step.
I am so sorry you are feeling so pressured but you do need to jump in
charge and push yourself through this. IVF's are somewhat invasive but
it is an
outpatient procedure and I was not incapacitated by it. But it is a
physcial strain and
it is important to take really good care of yourself. Once I got
through the first cycle
it all became so familiar that the medications and procedures became
less scary and
IVF's are stressful and expensive so it is hard to remain optimistic. I
hope that you
have the support of friends and family and the money to pursue this. If
you try IVF
and decide you don't want to continue with it then at least you tried
and made a
very informed decision. If you decide to not pursue IVF at all, for
that is OK too. But I feel very strongly that IVF is the best option
for those of us
struggling to conceive at an older age.
so sympathetic to your struggle
Given your history, and if you really want to have a biological
offspring, I would waste no time in starting IVF. IVF is
actually less ''invasive'' than having the baby, especially if you
need a C-section. And, you can save some of the harvested eggs
for a second baby later.
If the IVF doesn't work out, and if you would like a wonderful
baby girl, there are 60,000 girls in Chinese orphanages waiting
for parents. My coworkers have adopted three of them, and all of
the girls are delightful and perfect in every way.
I am pregnant now at the age of 38 and would like to recommend my
fertility specialist Doctor Hank Streitfeld on Colby Street in Berkeley.
He is a brilliant
doctor who has helped many, many women to treat their infertility and
Wow...I could have written your post! Same age & time frame
for ''trying'', slight variations in procedures & test results,
etc, but i'm in your boat. Wish I could lend advice, but can
offer a shoulder to lean on. Can't wait to hear the responses.
You're not alone! ab
You have my sympathy! I assume you've read ''Taking Charge of
Your Fertility''? If not, give it a try. I know you said you
took your temperature to time intercourse, but maybe there's
something useful you could learn about your cycle's length and
the timing of ovulation. Or maybe you've got an issue with
unwelcoming cervical fluid?
My fingers are crossed for you!
After reading the responses to your post, I wanted to add my 2
cents as I too faced fertility challenges. I got pregnant in 5
months with our first child. But after over a year of trying on
our own with ovulation kits and basal temperature for the
second, nothing happened. I couldn't believe I could get
pregnant so easily and then not be able to the second time. In
the end I did 2 rounds of Clomid, then one round of injectables
which worked. I'm now thrilled to be the mama of twin girls.
The injections scared me at first, but after doing it the first
time it was fine. As one post said, any fertility treatment
compared to actual childbirth is a piece of cake.
Some people will tell you to just relax and it will happen.
Getting told that would really upset me. It's like there's
something wrong with your attitude so it's your fault your not
getting pregnant. Those sort of comments just added to my
stress and were counterproductive. So don't let them get to
you, and have faith in yourself that you can get through this
and that whatever path you chose to take is the right one for
As for accupuncture, I found it was very relaxing but stressful
to be spending so much money. In the end I decided to stop as I
felt that stress was counterproductive. If you can afford it, I
say do it. But if you can't, don't stress about it. One thing I
appreciated learning from my accupuncturist is the importance
of nutrition and how it impacts fertility; it's especially
important to eat a lot of protein.
Someone else mentioned excersise. In my case that did help. I
was overweight when we were trying to get pregnant. I couldn't
even do Clomid at Kaiser until my BMI was lower. So I ate
healthier and excersised (there was an option to take
medication to loose weight, but I wanted to do it on my own). I
lost 20 pounds and my numbers improved. Excess weight can
significantly impact your fertility.
Good luck. I wish you all the best.
My husband and I started trying to get pregnant when I was 36. I spent 5
undergoing tests and procedures. Was dx'd with ''unexplained
infertility''. Did 5
IVF's, got pregant once, then miscarried in my 4th month. We decided to
adoption. At 43 I became a mother via adoption. ''If I had known then,
what I know
now...'' I would have forgone all the treatments (which were
extremely stressful on my marriage, and, expensive) ....and gone directly
adoption. We attended an all day symposium put on by Resolve of Northern
California (http://www.resolvenc.org/) and left saying ''yes, we can do
We have an open adoption with my son's birthparents (who live about 500
away) and I have to say it's a pretty amazing relationship. We truly love
respect the difficult decision they faced and they will forever be a part
extended family. (BTW, my son is now 11 years old!)
GOOGLE ''Marcelle Cedars, MD'', Director of Reproductive Endocrinology and
@ UCSF and see all the good information she has available.
- GOOD LUCK TO YOU & get busy because TIME FLIES
I understand your fear, going from a normal FSH into the
borderline zone. Time is of the essence now.
You will hear many heresay opinions about RE's and how to select
an RE, but the only verifiable way is by their outcome statistics.
Checking the SART or CDC websites for outcomes and comparing very
carefully (I printed them out and went over them carefully side
by side) can help prevent hiring an RE who is sloppy because
their outcomes will not be good.
Look up the RE's stats on
and compare their outcomes with The Colorado Center for
Reproductive Medicine in Englewood Colorado (Denver suburb), ''CCRM''.
It's hard to say this delicately, but California doesn't really
have any earth-shatteringly great RE's. Look at the confidence
intervals for live births for your age and the next older age
group, and always compare to CCRM. If there is no confidence
interval and outcomes are expressed as fractions, they are not
After two frustrating cycles with one of the ''two best'' RE's in
the area, I switched to
CCRM, and achieved pregnancy. They have
over 40% out of town patients who failed elsewhere, and still
have by far the most successful outcomes in the country. Even
just the phone consultation could be enormously helpful for you.
They accept women with borderline and high FSH.
Here are the steps:
1) call and get appt for 1-hour telephone consultation with the
next MD available.
2) send your entire fertility medical record, nicely organized,
with tabs and an index, in a a little binder
3) one hour phone consultation is $200 or $250. They will
evaluate all your results to date, the outcomes of what you have
tried, etc., and give some preliminary advice
4) One day workup: fly to Denver in the evening, spend one night
in a cheap Hotwire hotel for $29, and spend the next day from 8am
to 3pm at CCRM for full testing and re-testing of everything.
It's like the Mayo Clinic of fertility clinics. They even do a
hysteroscopy that day, and the doctor meets with you last, to
summarize everything and set a preliminary plan.
5) protocol is chosen and cycle begins. Start meds in Bay Area,
first ultrasound monitoring in Bay Area, then fly to Denver for
4-14 days depending on your plan.
They have remarkable results, whatever they say, I would trust.
As for alternative, etc., ask CCRM which alternative
interventions have statistical evidence to help. The only ones
they advocate are acupuncture if uterine blood flow is low, and
pre- and post- embryo transfer acupuncture.
I went through 1 IUI and 2 IVF's locally before I finally went
the extra mile to the best in the country. I wish you all the
best and please feel free to write.
Lay fertility expert, former Resolve leader
First, buy a book called: ''The Infertility Cure'', by Randine Lewis If I
address I would send it to you, as I have all my friends in a similar
At 37 I had an FSH level of 16. I tried IVF and got four eggs (I have one
perfect ovvums and no babies.
Then at 39 I met my now husband, and tried IUI. I went to Dr. Lifang
Liang at Dr.
Lewis's recommendation, and at 40 1/2 conceived naturally. I had been to
other acupuncturists including, Dr Angela Wu who has a clinic specializing
infertility. Dr Liang is the most knowlegable that I found. She was also
an OB in
China. I am still seeing her, and love her!
But first buy the book, it was what gave me hope and a good outlook about
I bought the book for a friend, she called Dr. Lewis, got a recommendation
acupuncturist, and at 43 after being told her FSH levels were way too
pregnant, a month later.
Here's wishing for a good outcome for you.
do you have a male partner? if yes, have you checked his
fertility? my husband had slow/low functioning sperm and we
got pregnant the first time we used Pre-Seed, a sperm-friendly
lubricant. (my hormone levels were fine but i was low on
I want to second the person who recommended
CCRM (Colorado Center
for Reproductive Medicine) for older women. We were also
undecided what to do and where to go and thought of many local
centers, some who have very loyal patients - who never get
pregnant! For older women, if you want to succeed, CCRM is the
place, the numbers are clear. The centers in the BayArea, no
matter how prestigious Stanford or UCSF sounds, they don't have
the success rates at your age group that can compete.
The other post gave a great summary of steps involved, I would
only add that you can choose who your dr is at CCRM, Dr
Schoolcraft is the primary Dr but he's very quiet, I'd recommend
Dr Surrey - he's very friendly and nice and I found easier to
talk with, you end up seeing all of them but for the
consultation, I'd recommend Dr Surry.
It seems like a big deal to do it in Colorado, but it's not.
We'd fly Frontier Airlines and stay at the TownPlace Suites by
Marriott for $49 per night (this was 3 years ago) - their studio
suites have a full kitchen so you don't have to eat out and the
rooms are nicer than the regular Marriott hotel down the street.
Another bit of advice - look up www.ivfconnections.net - go to
ALL BULLETIN BOARDS - there is more info on their forums than
anywhere else on getting pregnant, not just on IVFs.
I originally posted about CCRM and a follow-up post mentioned
Dr. Surrey. I would unequivocally use him as my RE for my next
cycle at CCRM. He has Dr. Schoolcraft's clarity and
incisiveness without his testiness. Dr. Minjarez is very smart
and loving but makes things more complicated than they have to
be. Dr. Surrey will pick the most streamlined protocol that
will actually work to get you pregnant, AND he's smart, nice,
and funny, and he's at the main office. He's perfect.
You'll also see how your chances of a live birth fall like a
stone over 35, so time is of the essence, but you can do this!
I'm afraid I'll have to suggest you ignore advice from people
who got pregnant on their own and don't know a thing about
rising FSH levels. You haven't been pregnant at all after 18
months of trying, even with Clomid. It's time to get advice
from the best RE's in the country. Going to Colorado will save
you time, money, and heartache in the end.
CCRM is the best in the country. Shown below are live birth
rates for women age 38-40 years for 2004 (the latest year with
a downloadable spreadsheet to play with the data). Centers are
listed in order of decreasing outcomes for age 35 (not
shown). Character limits prevented me from showing confidence
intervals, which are more important and even more persuasive.
COLORADO CENTER FOR REPRODUCTIVE MEDICINE ENGLEWOOD COLORADO 41.9
ADVANCED FERTILITY ASSOCIATES MEDICAL GROUP GREENBRAE CALIFORNIA 23.2
UCSF CENTER FOR REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 33.3
ZOUVES FERTILITY CENTER DALY CITY CALIFORNIA 22.9
NORTHERN CALIFORNIA FERTILITY MEDICAL CENTER ROSEVILLE CALIFORNIA 21.6
REPRODUCTIVE SCIENCE CENTER OF THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA SAN RAMON CALIFORNIA 22.7
STANFORD UNIVERSITY IVF/ART PROGRAMPALO ALTO CALIFORNIA 13.2
FERTILITY PHYSICIANS OF NORTHERN CALIFORNIA SAN JOSE CALIFORNIA 16.2
PACIFIC FERTILITY CENTER SAN FRANCISCO CALIFORNIA 25.8
If this data comes out garbled in the newsletter, you can look
it up for yourself on www.sart.org or download an excel
spreadsheet to play with from http://www.cdc.gov/art/ Then you
can also see the ''live birth confidence interval.''
Once you've had your consultation with Dr. Surrey, do whatever
alternative stuff you want, except herbs. Herbs are real drugs
and interfere with the medications, AND with China's pollution
levels, more and more often are found to be contaminated.
--Former Resolve group leader, pregnant at 44 with own eggs at CCRM
Hi, I am a bit puzzled by my OB/GYN's response to a problem. I
am trying to get pregnant, but it's difficult because of my
irregular periods. When I went to see my OB/GYN, I wasn't even
given an exam, he simply wrote me a prescription for clomid to
stimulate ovulation. Not that I have anything against clomid,
but is it really necessary to immediately resort to medication?!
I'd really like to try something more natural first, and would
be grateful for any suggestions. Recommendations for more
holistic OB/GYN's in the Walnut Creek area who take PacifiCare
(the Alta Bates medical group) would be appreciated as well. Thanks!
If you have irregular periods, any sort of exam by your ob-gyn isn't going to reveal
anything. Even a vaginal ultrasound won't really reveal much UNLESS you go in for a bunch of
them after you actually have a period, then your doctor follows the growth of any follicles
to see if you are actually ovulating.
Anyway - You have irregular periods, you're trying to get pregnant, and the common first step
to even the playing field for you with other fertile women is to give you Clomid. It doesn't
always work though - I have irregular periods and very long cycles, and Clomid taken 3 or 4
times only gave me a shorter cycle once.
Irregular periods are often an indicator of PCOS, so do some research of your own on that,
and talk to your ob-gyn about that.
As for non-Western medicine you can look into: Maybe try acupuncture. There have been
testimonials from BPN users that acupuncture regulated their menstrual cycles. But it's not
cheap and you'll be doing it a long time.
Don't freak out about the Clomid though. It's better to start trying with that now rather
than to wait to use it a year, then realize two years down the road as you near 40 that you
actually have fertility problems - like I did.
-Clomid is not the anti-Christ
Hey, Clomid-is-not-the-anti-Christ here again:
One thing your doctor CAN do is make you get a bunch of blood tests to see if all sorts of
hormones and other baby-making essentials you never knew you had are in proper balance. Like
if you once had an eating disorder, that can permanently affect your thyroid and can affect
your ability to get pregnant. All this will be revealed in blood tests.
These tests are usually done around the time you resort to Clomid, or after you take Clomid
and it doesn't work for you, or if you end up going to a reproductive endocrinologist.
There's also a 3-day Clomid test to test your fertility that you can ask your doctor about.
At any rate - it's not a small deal that your periods are irregular. You need to make them
regular to ensure you have 12 chances a year to get pregnant rather than 9 or whatever it is
You're very wise to question your OB/GYN's treatment. If you've been trying to conceive for a
while, it's important to get some diagnostic testing done so you at least will know if a
natural, holistic approach stands a chance. Don't waste any more time with your current
Like you, I had an irregular cycle. I wasted over a year being treated by a doc who took the
same approach as yours. He never ordered a single diagnostic -- just prescribed Clomid and
OTC ovulation predicting kits, then Clomid plus intrauterine insemination. I'd been following
a temperature cycle routine. (I was far too busy at work to research alternatives and too
trusting that the doc I saw was competent because his partner had a good reputation. Plus I
had a GP who had her 1st child at 40 and told me there was no rush, just be relaxed about it
all!) I left that practice with a lot of anger and frustration and headed straight for a
fertility specialist, Dr. Chetokowski. I had to wait 6 months for the first appointment, but
he was superb -- very ethical, straightforward -- and had a great staff. One of the first
diagnostics showed I had a lot of uterine polyps, the likely cause of my irregular cycle,
which were surgically removed. We also learned we had male factor issues. No amount of Clomid
or intrauterine insemination would have worked for our situation. My hormone levels were
fine, but by that time I was 39. My eggs were getting old even though I felt 10 years
younger. ICSI was the solution for us. It was expensive, but we've a lovely daughter now. I
wish you much luck, AS
Some OBs will push Clomid because that's all they have experience
for. I personally wouldn't go with Clomid first, because there
are a number of tests that are easy to start with. I personally
had started with Hank Streitfeld as an OB/GYN, and he called
himself a fertility specialist, but all he really did was offer
Clomid. He was NOT a fertility specialist, just an ob who tends
to prescribe Clomid for ''fertility problems''. You probably want
an appointment with a REAL fertility specialist. There are some
fertility/irregular bleeding problems that can be fixed easily
(and some lack of pregnancy can be related to semen problems).
Clomid is a powerful drug, and probably one of the reasons we've
got more twins around. Just remember that it messes with your
cycle andyour chances of having twins increases (and twin
pregnancies are more risky). Call up a real fertility specialist
(an RE or someone who only specializes in fertility issues), and
at the very least, get their list of standard tests that they
start with, and ask your ob/gyn about them. In fact, if I were
you, I'd probably get a new OB/GYN. Also, you can spend a little
time on the web, with sites like resolve.org, that may lead you
to some of the info that you'll need to start. Just don't get too
wound up about it-it's worrisome. (Many OB/GYN's are frightently
uninformed about some of these fertility issues.) Also keep in
mind that most docs won't recommend you to a fertility specialist
until you've had 3 miscarriages or have been unsuccessful for a
year (the 3 miscarriages rule is in my opinion, needlessly cruel,
having been down that route). Plus, once you get the
recommendation, it will probalby be 6-12 weeks before you can get
an appt, so you might want to get the tests that you can now.
Hi, we have one great 5 year old boy and have been trying for
over a year and a half for another one. We recently started
fertility treatments at Kaiser and after just a month, I'm
feeling discouraged and not sure if I want to continue. We've
discussed IUI with our doctor and I wonder if others have had
success with it? I'm feeling a little scared of it but would do
it if I felt it could work. Also wondering how long others have
pursued fertility treatment and how many months did it take to
work. Trying to decide if we should continue and if so for how
Speaking from experience around infertility my heart goes out to you.
Try not to feel too discouraged but don't feel guilty if you do either.
My sister had great luck with infertility treatments at Kaiser, as did I
(although I ended up going IVF route with Alta Bates ultimately).
Kaiser was very supportive and a month is not long to spend on
infertility, especially depending on what is causing the errr, hold up.
I had to try a bunch of different avenues to get it right, and sometimes
it's a little hit and miss. Hang in there, there are a lot more of us
out there than you know. There are tons of great books on the market
know for ''owning'' your fertility and I'm sure youw ill get a million
responses about them. Good Luck.
I was struck by your message. You say after one month of fertility
treatment you are feeling discouraged and uncertain whether or not you
should continue. One month is not very long.
I wonder if you were given a medication that is affecting your mood, OR
if there are other issues at play. Were you hoping for a miracle cure
and feeling depressed by the effort involved in fertility treatment? Are
you unsure how much effort you want to put into having a second child?
Do you need to talk with your husband about the point at which you'd
like to stop trying? It might be helpful for you to hook up with a
support group of women going through the same thing via Kaiser or the
organization Resolve. I can tell you that I have done IUI at Kaiser a
number of times(unsuccessfully, as it happens) and the process itself is
nothing to be afraid of (no more discomfort than a getting a pap smear).
If you reach the point where you are giving yourself injections to
prepare for the IUI, that is a little harder to get used to. If you had
one child without fertility treatment, I can imagine it must be hard for
you adjust to this, the way it doesn't come naturally, all the
scheduling that is involved (when you take which medication, when you
ovulate,when the sperm is collected, when the IUI is performed, etc).
Good luck to you as you make your way through the process. By the way,
Berkeley author Peggy Orenstein just published a book about her own
experience with fertility treatments called ''Waiting for Daisy'':
might be an interesting read for you.
I have a gorgeous tolddler son who was conceived through IUI.
When I started investigating fertility treatment I felt the same as you
- very tentative and even suspicious. After I started looking into it
and talking to people about it though, I found out that fertility
treatment is incredibly common.
Each person is different as to what could be the cause of their delay in
getting pregnant. If you are tentative about treatment, perhaps you
might feel more comfortable being aggressive about diagnosis - i.e.
doing all the tests to figure out if there is something specific going
on with you. This will give you a better indication of your own chances
at IUI or IVF being successful for you, or if waiting it out is the way
to go. I would recommend you sign up for an online discussion board and
get support and advice from some of the bazillion people who've been
Upon reading your post and thinking back three years ago, I am reminded
of the pain and anquish I experienced with every menstrual cycle over
the course of 4 years. I went through not getting pregnant on my own,
giving up, trying again, miscarriage, giving up, fertility tests,
treatments, giving up, surgery, and finally SUCCESS with one IVF
attempt!! I now have happy, healthy
2 year old twins! I have never regretted all that I went through and I
WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!
I know that treatments do not work for everyone, all the time. I feel
the pain of the women for whom it does not work. I would have regretted
NOT trying, though and would always have wondered if that one last thing
would work. No one can say for anyone else, however, how much of the
trying one can take. Month by month or year by year your feelings and
resolve change. I swore in the beginning that I would NEVER go so far as
to go through IVF - HA!
Practically speaking, the fertility doctors that I worked with at Kaiser
and Dr. Chetkowski (Alta Bates) were honest and forthcoming with my
chances (as much as they could be). I had ''unexplained'' fertility
issues and was told I would probably have success with IVF... they were
right from the beginning, although it took me two years to choose to do
that. I did many IUI attempts that did not work, but my current thought
is that there were problems with the egg and sperm finding each other --
nothing they would ever have been able to determine. However, if eggs
and sperm are all in good condition and clomid or other drugs are
working to boost it all, you may have great success with IUI! (and the
process is really is not that big of an
ordeal- kind of like a long annual exam...bring your partner to hang out
with you so you can laugh at how silly it all seems YOU MUST LAUGH!!
The fertility drugs were not easy (especially during the IVF time
period), so you need to have a partner that will really BE there for
you. My husband was there for every appointment, educated himself, gave
me shots, reminded me about taking pills and treated me like a queen
during the rough times of the month. We cried together often and BOY
did we celebrate together when it worked!
I wish you great success and the confidence to make the correct decision
for yourself! I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. Its a
tough time -- be strong!
If you're considering IUI, I'd say go for it. You didn't say what your
issues were or your age, but if your doctor recommends it, you probably
have unexplained infertility issues. In-utero insemination is the least
invasive and least expensive infertility treatment (roughtly $300 a try
plus the cost of the drugs). Both my pregnancies were from a combination
of chlomid and IUI treatments. Both times I got pregnant on the fifth
try. Happy with the results. We decided we were not going to go further
than IUI because we couldn't see spending $20,000 for one chance, so we
felt very lucky that it happened.
tired and happy mom of 2
My partner and I (we're both women) used IUI to get pregnant.
While I can't address the question about ongoing fertility treatment, I
can tell you that IUI was very straightforward and no big deal for us.
Of course, we never had the expectation that we'd have sex to get
pregnant, which is different than if you are in a heterosexual
relationship. But I can certainly assure you that IUI is not painful or
scary in any way. We actually had the procedure done in our home, so I
can't speak to what it would be like in a doctor office setting.
As you probably know the semen is spun down to remove all prostaglandins
and other proteins so that only sperm (and possibly a preservative is
added?) remain. A very very thin catheter is inserted into your uterus
through your cervix and a very tiny amt (about 1/2 cc I believe) of
sperm is slowly inserted (can't be more b/c uterus can only hold a tiny
bit). I believe that sometimes they use a tool called a tenaculum in a
doctor's office, which grips the cervix to hold it straight.
That was NOT used in our home insemination and we each got pregnant the
first time we tried it.
Either way, whatever you decide, good luck.
First of all: whatever your decision will be, you do not have to defend
it or justify it to anybody.
I was in your shoes a few years ago, I met many women/couples online and
in person; and I realized that everybody makes a very personal choice
and that's exactly what it is and how it should be. No mother or
mother-in-law, or even your best friend should EVER question it. You and
your SO will make the right choice, maybe our responses will help you to
This is what happened to me: we ''tried'' for at least 8 years, three
rounds of AI, and one round of IVF with major complications
(8 days in the hospital due to hyper-stimulation), a mere 2 fertilized
eggs, which got frozen and later unsuccessfully transferred. Eventually,
I hated every step of it. The constant monitoring, the shots, I blew up
like balloon, I felt like a science project - eventually I hated my body
and was very unhappy.
What made me happy again was our wonderful (despite very long) adoption
from Russia. Everything was such a wonderful experience, the trip to
Russia and Moscow were a blast as well as huge lesson in mankind and
history. Now we have a son (and hopefully soon a 2nd one) and I am the
happiest person in world :-) In hindsight I wish I had NOT stepped on
the fertility path, but hindsight is 20-20.
A Happy Mommy
We had no problem getting pregnant with our first child but after 6
months of problems trying for #2, we started with clomid, then moved to
3 straight months of IUI, followed by IVF. We were successful with the
IVF and I am glad we went through with everything but I do have to say
that I was depressed a lot and the drugs really drove me crazy. We were
so determined to get pregnant with #2 that I was willing to to try
anything so kept going on each month with something but there were times
I went crazy and the drugs really did affect so much of who I was. Once
I fully was able to go off all the shots and drugs finally I realized
how messed up I had been BUT it was worth it and we got what we want. So
my advice is to keep going but talk openly with your partner as well as
people you trust, and even therapists if you need to. You need a support
system and something will work, but just realize it is not an easy
process and there are a lot of tough times. I also heard every story in
the book and you will see it's not the same for everyone. Good luck! I
feel your pain and know what you are going through. It took us over a
year to get what we wanted but we are so happy now.
finally got pregnant
I was in the Santa Clara Kaiser infertility program for about
1.5 yrs before I got pregnant. It is Kaiser's largest infertility
program and I had to get transferred there from the Redwood City Kaiser
after I tried for 1 yrs with no results.
1-1.5 yrs, just tried natural conception using temperature and ovulation
1.5 yrs at Kaiser Santa Clara. Continued doing temperature and
ovulation sticks but also started with IUI only for about 4 times. Then
did IUI + Clomid for about 2 times. Then did IUI and Repronex
injections for about 3 times. When you do the drugs, you sometimes get
cysts so you need to skip a month. We were in a skip month when we
conceived. While we did IUI that month, it was considered ''natural''
because there were no drugs involved.
IUI alone (with no drugs) is considered the least invasive of the
fertility treatments and I think this method is OK. It can be hard to
plan all the logistics of last minute appts and bringing in the sperm
but after awhile you get the hang of it.
However, looking back, I am sorry I did all those drugs. I got pregnant
without them and in my desperation to conceive, I never properly
researched what they were.
I'm currently trying to get pregnant with my second after a very easy
(first month) and pregnancy two years ago. After four months, I'm still not
pregnant, and while I know it's still way too soon to be worried, I'm trying
to rule out
all possible problems. I'm charting temp, cervical fluid, and cervical
position, and if
I'm nailing my ovulation right, my luteal phase (post-ovulation) seems to be a
the short side (8-10 days, usually 10). Apparently one remedy is to apply
progesterone cream from ovulation through week 10 of pregnancy (if
and I'm wondering if anyone's tried this, and if so, what your experience was.
details about me: I'm 33, I'm consulting the Toni Weschler book, and I'm using
of those fancy ovulation predictor kits starting with my current cycle to make
that I really am ovulating when I think I am.)
Hoping for another... soon!
I don't have any insight on progesterone cream, but just wanted
to add a voice to suggest that everything might be fine without.
After trying 2 months to get pregnant, I temped and charted for
another 3 months and found I had a short luteal phase, from 7-10
days. Just when I was looking into options like Progesterone
Cream and Vitamin B and compulsively searching for stories about
conceiving with a short LP on-line, I got pregnant (with twins!).
So it may just be a matter of time. Hope that's encouraging. I
know it's stressful and I certainly felt a lot of pressure to be
We are trying for our 2nd child and I have been having problems
this time around. I conceived quickly with our 1st child several
years ago. It seems I am not ovulating now(even though the
ovulation tests I have been using have shown that I am, or at
least an increased LH surge). My Dr. has given me clomid and is
now upping the dosage since I still did not ovulate for the
first cycle I was on and wants to try it for a few cycles before
we go to the next steps.
I just want to hear if there were others that have been through
this and if you had a successful outcome. My husband and I never
thought I would have any problems this time around since it was
so easy for our first child, and we were wrong. I have also been
seeing an accupuncturist to try to help my body chemistry but I
have not seen any changes from that either. Every month gets
harder and harder to go through and I am trying to stay
positive. It is also hard to watch all my friends get pregnant
so quickly with their 2nds and 3rds. Any advice would be
trying for #2
Hello, I needed Clomid while trying for my 3rd child at age 33 (the first two were
conceived naturally). I was told that I didn't ovulate irregularly, although I think
it was due to infrequent sex. Clomid worked quickly for me (got pregnant on third
cycle)and have a beautiful, healthy girl. They used a fairly high dosage of Clomid by
3rd cycle. It was an annoying process but something you forget about once it's over.
Definitely worth it. Here's the irony. I thought I had a real fertility problem (per
the fertility experts - they told me that Clomid doesn't work as well over 35, which
was fine b/c I wasn't planning on more kids). Well surprise...I stopped using
protection about 9 months ago b/c I didn't think it was necessary and guess what
happened...here I am 4 years later, pregnant again by accident (active sex life, lots
of orgasms, ovulated naturally) - no Clomid! Go figure. I don't think I truly had a
fertilty problem at all. If you really want to get pregnant fast, use the Clomid. An
alternative is to TRY to forget about trying to get pregnant (I know easier said than
done, I've been there believe me, when you want to get pregant you want it NOW!) and
focus on having a fabulous sex life with lots of orgasms, and see what happens
naturally (you may be surprised). Our bodies are intelligent and amazing. Good luck!
We recently discovered that we are pregnant with our first child after receiving
fertiity treatment from Pacific Fertility in San Francisco.
From my experience, the doctor will only have you on Clomid for
3-4 months and if there isn't any success, will move you to another drug.
I wasn't ovulating naturally, so my doctor prescribed Clomid and an HCG injection.
The HCG injection was given after an ultrasound was done to monitor my ovaries to see
if a follicle had developed. My husband learned how to give the HCG injection and
would give me one in the tush approx.48 hours prior to our IUI appointment.
We ended up getting switched off of Clomid because it was thinning my uterine lining
and was placed on Famara.
In both cases, after ovulation, I used Prometrium (progesterone) as a suppository for
2 weeks. At the end of two weeks, we would take a pregnancy test. If negative, I
would stop taking Prometrium and if it was positive, I was to continue.
We were successful once we switched to Famara and IUI's.
My heart goes out to you. The process is painful and heartbreaking regardless of
whether you have a child already or not.
My friends began to deliver their first born as my husband and I were beginning our
fertility process. I remember going to friends houses to see their babies (and being
happy for them), but coming home and crying because we didn't have a child.
Friends who haven't gone through the process are helpful and supportive, but not to
the same degree of someone who has been through the process. I found such a person
and she was wonderful!
Best of luck to you.
Is the doctor a fertility specialist? My regular OB prescribed clomid for 3 monts and
it did nothing. Then we went to a specialist and she said clomid for my age 37 was not
so effective and recommended Repronax (sp?) and IUI which worked the first month.
We're expecting our second child in July. Although I was reluctant to spend the money
I'm very glad we didn't keep waiting and hoping as age really is a major factor. We
did this through Kaiser and with all the tests and treatment it was only about $2000.
I too had an easy time getting pregnant with my first. Then when trying for the 2nd we
finally went to a fertility specialist at Kaiser after trying for a year. You didn't
mention your age, but if you're over 40 like me, just a few years plummets fertility
drastically. It helped me to break down the whole process mentally into different
steps, and not think that the current treatment was the end all. First, we did the
in-home fertility monitor. That didn't work we got on the program at Kaiser and the
first thing they had me do was loose weight which can help fertility and then made me
eligible for Clomid. That didn't work so then it was on to Clomid. That didn't work
after 2 cycles, so given my age the doctor decided we needed to get more aggressive
rather than try another Clomid cylce. So then it was on to Repronex (the injectable
hormones). That worked for us on the first try, but while we were in that limbo stage
of not knowing if it was going to work or not, it was reassuring to me to know that I
still had a couple of more tries on the Repronex, and then after that IVF. Everything
you read says stress is bad for fertility, but yet it's so stressful to be diagnosed
as having a problem. I was worried about having to the hormone injections, but it was
remarkably easy after the first couple of times.
Don't get discouraged!
I was on Clomid on and off for almost 2 years when we tried to get pregnant the first
time around, eventually at a dosage so high the pharmacist filled the prescription
wrong because she couldn't believe anyone was taking that much. And it never once
made me ovulate. My advice, based solely on my own experience and nothing medical, is
if you've done a few cycles with Clomid and aren't ovulating, don't waste any time
before stepping up to injectables. They're more expensive (and not covered by my
insurance), but once I switched I got pregnant on my first cycle
of Follistim. You just have to find the right drug for you.
In the meantime, try to remember that your body has done this successfully once;
you'll get there again. Good luck!
Sometimes Clomid has the effect of drying up the slippery fertile ervical fluid which
is necessary for helping to transport the sperm to your egg. I'd suggest trying a
sperm-friendly lube such as Pre-Seed (available online) to help foster the right
conditions so that you can get pregnant! Best of luck to you...
- Pregnant thanks to Pre-Seed!
My husband and I have been trying for a little while to get
pregnant with #2. We did not have very much trouble with our
first child so I thought it would be easy again but it seems to
be much harder this time around. I am in my early 30s and in
pretty good health. I havn't touched alcohol or caffeine in over
6 months (and even lost weight to try and help conceive). It just
seems like everyone around me is pregnant with #2 and #3 and from
what I keep hearing no one has any diffuclty stories 2nd time
around and even said it happened quicker than they thought. I try
not to get too focused on it but it is hard when you keep hearing
everyone around you is pregnant and you want to be there yourself
(and most of the women I keep hearing about are older than me).
Is there anything that has worked? any suggestions? I will try
anything. When I talked to my OB she did not seem concerned at
this time and just told me to keep trying and relax.
Hoping for #2 soon
''Taking Charge of Your Fertility'' by Toni Weschler is a
fantastic book which helped me and a number of friends and
family get pregnant. It's tremendously informative about your
body and how it works and really teaches you how to work w/your
cycles so you can get pregnant. If I hadn't read it, I would
still be assuming I ovulate every 14 days instead of 10 and
might not have our two boys. I highly recommend it!
Have you read the book ''Taking Charge of Your Fertility'' by
Toni Weschler? It tells you how to get in touch with your
reproductive system, chart your cycles and basal temperature,
and know when you are ovulating. It is much more accurate than
over-the-counter ovulation indicators. All you need is a basal
thermometer. I found it very helpful when trying to get
pregnant. In fact, I knew I was pregnant way before the
pregnancy test came back positive. It is also a highly
educational book and taught me lots of things about my
reproductive system that I wished I had learned as a teenager
(e.g. I never understood the significance of vaginal discharge
and how the different colors and consistencies of it indicate
where you are in your cycle).
I know what you mean about seeing everyone else pregnant with #2!
Maybe you could really pay attention to your body's fertile
times. About two weeks after the start of your last period, you
may notice a slick mucus (maybe even a long strand you can pull
out) when you wipe after going on the toilet. Within the next
couple of days is the best time to have sex, because that mucus
creates a supportive environment for the sperm. I would guess
that you shouldn't have sex for a while prior to this to make
sure your husband has a lot of sperm when you need it most. I've
also heard that eating wheat germ helps! (I don't know about the
validity of the last two statements, though...)
best of luck to you
We've been having the same problem trying for #2 after getting
pregnant with the first very easily. I'm a little older than you
which might affect my situation. We got checked out with various
tests and everything looks normal which makes it harder to deal
with. I've been taking lots of vitamin and mineral supplements
based on reading the Foresight website where a scientific study
was done on a group of women trying to get pregnant and they
found that correcting deficiencies in various minerals and
vitamins made a huge difference in being able to conceive. Your
body might still be recovering from #1 which is exacerbated from
running around after #1. I work part time and take care of a
energetic toddler and often feel exhausted and stressed which
also might affect us being able to concieve. I have done lots of
research on-line and there are lots of resources out there on
secondary infertility. I am also trying accupuncture which I've
heard can really help balance your bodys energies out and reduce
stress levels. There are others out there like you, so hang in
there. I am still hopeful despite my age. If you'd like to
comiserate further or want to share information, you can ask BPN
for my email address.
Also having trouble getting pregnant with #2
I think that it is pretty common to have trouble conceiving the
second child. I have many friends who have had miscarriages
after their first healthy child as well as those who could not
conceive. If your doctor is not worried, I suppose you should
not be either. Start having sex every other day for the last
two weeks of your cycle.
Good Luck to you.
I don't think your experience is uncommon (i.e. trouble getting
pregnant a second time). I would recommend you visit with an
acupunturist who specializes in women's issues. I would highly
recommend Leslie Oldershaw (piedmont) who helped me get
It took me longer to get pg with #2 also... but just when I was
starting to feel like it would never happen, it did. You don't
say how long you've been trying, but it may help to take a month
off from trying (don't use birth control, just don't actively
try) to get a relief from the stress of it. Stress really does
make a difference.
I want to recommend the book ''Taking Charge of your Fertility'' by
Toni Weschler. It was really helpful for me in getting pregnant
for both of my pregnancies in terms of knowing when (or if) I was
ovulating and when I am most fertile. I think it's a great
starting point for fertility issues. Good Luck.
I agree that just relaxing about it may do the trick. But in
the interim, you may want to try the lubricant Preseed. It
creates an environment/medium that sperm thrive in I guess. I'm
sure there's info about it online. Also, sounds silly, but try
being upsideown after sex and see if you can get things going
in the right direction. Good Luck!
I got pregnant with my first child very easily but when we started trying for #2 it
took a while. I think it is just a matter of timing and with one child already timing
can be more difficult. I got the pee on the stick kind of ovulation predictor kit and
got pregnant the first time I used it. Good luck and try not to worry about it too
Hi, so sorry to hear about your frustration! Our #1 was also
relatively easy to conceive and we are only about to embark on
trying for #2, so I can't speak from experience yet. But I did
notice after my son was born that my menstrual cycle is different
from before my pregnancy -- a bit shorter with what seems to be a
different ovulation point. I say this b/c I've just started
charting temperatures and mucus and so on again, something I
found incredibly helpful in understanding my cycle when we were
trying for #1. This time around I've realized we'll need to ''try''
earlier in my cycle.
Have you taken a look at Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The
Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control and Pregnancy
Achievement by Toni Weschler? It's an amazing guide to
understanding your body and your personal cycle. I'm convinced it
helped us get pregnant faster the first time around.
My female partner and I have been trying to get pregnant for 11
months now and I need some wisdom and guidance. I am 34 and have
been seeing Dr. Breneman at Kaiser Oakland...luckily, since I am
a lesbian, I recieve full benefit of the Fertility Clinic. Yes,
I am grateful for this, but it IS Kaiser and I feel like just a
number most of the time.
I am taking letrozol and getting ultrasound assisted IUI's every
month (usually 1 IU and 1 at-home insemination). We would love
to do more, but at $380 per vial of sperm, our budget only allows
I also have seen an acupuncturist several times and am taking
suppliments. Mostly, I feel that all of the professionals I see
just want us to wait it out. I know this is probably true, but
it feels dismissive most of the time.
When should we begin to worry? I would love to hear any
experiences/advice/wisdom about this. Has anyone gone through
this with a midwife doing the IUI's?
My partner and I have two children and I got pregnant using donor
sperm, IUI, both times. The 2nd baby was conceived while I was a
patient of the same doctor you are seeing. My situation was
slightly different because after several miscarriages, I was put
on Clomid to help maintain my pregnancy.
I'm sorry the process at Kaiser feels dismissive to you. Dealing
with an HMO is no fun because the doctors are under so much
pressure to see a large caseload of patients so they are
sometimes rude or abrupt because they are so rushed. I recall one
doctor being especially rude but I always found Dr. B to be
helpful and very sympathetic. She is highly competent and Kaiser
is an excellent facility.
I read an article somewhere that they tested the stress levels of
women unable to conceive and those undergoing cancer treatment
and found them to be similar. At one point, I was so discouraged
about multiple miscarriages that I began seeing a counselor. This
helped me during that difficult time.
Hang in there and try to be patient. You are doing everything
humanly possible. Sometimes it just takes time.
If you haven't already had the sperm checked to be sure the
vials have live sperm when you get insemminated, do that now.
Generally when a person has tried for a year testing is done to
see if there is a problem. Since it takes so long to get
appointments with Kaiser, I'd speak with your doctor about
getting those scheduled for sometime in the next 2 or 3 months.
Then relax the best that you can knowing you have moved on the
next step. Good luck.
My baby is now a teen
I'm a lesbian who got pregnant on my second try with frozen
sperm. Please email me directly for some advice I can pass
along -- I can also highly, highly recommend having a consult
with Stephanie Brill of Maia Midwifery and Preconception
Services in Orinda -- www.maiamidwifery.com
I would suggest you contact Stephanie Brill at Maia Midwifery
located in Orinda. She is absolutely amazing. Good luck.
Our first pregnancy took almost 1.5 years, trying every cycle.
Things we learned (in our opinion) for the second pregnancy: IUI
only. Decided not to ''waste'' the money on at home
inseminations. Have fertility level checked- simple blood test.
Not be so connected to one particular donor and ask sperm bank
for highest count and highest motility donors. Our second
prgnancy took 3 tries and cost us a lot less than the first.
Most of all, trying to not worry seemed to be a key element.
Getting pregnant is a random process. For the average 35-year-
old woman who is trying to get pregnant, there is about a 1 in
5.5 chance of getting pregnant in any cycle, and then a 1 in 4
chance of miscarrying. Overall this makes for a 1 in 7 chance
each cycle of initiating a pregnancy that results in a baby 9
months later. About 4 out of 5 35-year-olds who try for a year
will have this kind of ''successful pregnancy''. About 1 in 5
Sometimes it's just bad luck that keeps these women from getting
pregnant - and sometimes it's a medical issue. Have you asked
your doctor about this? If not, I suggest you do so. There are
some simple diagnostic tests that can detect the presence or
absence of several common barriers to getting pregnant.
There are also some powerful mind-body programs that can help
improve the odds. Here are two examples:
Look for a program led by someone who follows Alice Domar's
Your story sounds a little bit like ours. I tried to get
pregnant for 10 months. I tried a few times when living in
Seattle just doing the OPK, then inseminating in the drs
office. We then moved to the Bay Area, found Reproductive
Science Center (Orinda, San Ramon, & Fremont) tried four more
times, switched donors, then got pregnant right away. We were
much more aggressive in CA. This is the procedure we used:
OPK positive or day 14/15 (depending on your cycle), ultrasound
day of positive OPK to confirm egg, if looks good then shot of
hCG to trigger egg release, then insemination the next day. I
opted for 2 inseminations, one the next day then another the
following day. Two inseminations using the above methods is
overkill for those just starting out, but we felt it was worth
it after trying for so long. Also, I had my FSH tested and it
was either low or high can't remember which, but regardless,
the results indicated that my eggs may be older than they
should be. I tried clomid for two cycles and got cysts and
stopped. Was about to start FSH injectable cycle, but thought
we'd try natural cycle with new donor first (good thing!).
Hope this is helpful...good luck.
I am not a fertility specialist or a medical person, but I worked for many
interviewing couples who had difficulty conceiving and after hearing their
this is what I would do in your situation: first, I think there is a strong
you will get pregnant soon and in general you are supposed to have a full year
without getting pregnant before seeking treatment. However, I would ask
give you a full fertility ''work-up'' if you haven't all ready. I would also
fertility specialist outside of Kaiser if you aren't pregnant after a year.
The reason I
would do this is because I have talked to so many women who wished they had
gotten a consultation sooner. There are a lot of decisions that need to be
are best made if you have time (which at 34 you still do). I don't know a lot
Kaiser Oakland, but I do know that many women who ''waited it out'' when there
a diagnosable problem ended up really frustrated. My very best of luck to
know how painful it is to not get pregnant each month.
I was wondering if anyone out there has ever dealt with
infertility due to low/no sperm motility. I have spoken with
plenty of women who have been faced with fertility issues due
to female factors but haven't yet found anyone to speak with
who is unable to conceive due to lack of sperm motility. My
husband has little to no sperm motility due to anti-sperm
antibodies. His blood and semen are mixing and the sperm are
being attacked, which causes them to end up with no tail and
are too damaged to swim. The doctor tried putting him on
Prednisone but he quickly developed diabetes due to the steroid
so he had to stop the medication. I am feeling very
discouraged and also frustrated because I haven't been able to
talk to anyone who has gone through this situation. Has anyone
successfully conceived in a similar situation? The doctors are
saying that in-vitro may not even work because the sperm are so
damaged. Has in-vitro been successful for anyone who has gone
through this? I would appreciate any comments or advice.
Hi. While my husband and I do not have sperm motility issues, we have an extremely low sperm count, I think the process we are going through would be applicible to you. We are dealing with a specilist at the UCSF Male Reproductive Health Clinic, Dr. Turek. The procedure is called ICSI where they inject the sperm direcctly into the egg, so as I understand it motility would not be an issue. If you can go to UCSF for a consultation, we found they were great at explaining what was going on and what our chances were to concieve. It is a multi step process with the chance of failure at each point, but definitely worth checking out.
We didn't have quite as specific an issue - ours was a complete lack of sperm. Our only option was sperm donation, and having no other option, that is what we did. Now, many years later, I wouldn't change a thing. I have 2 lovely children, who favor us both, surprisingly. I highly recommend using donor sperm - it is very affordable, when compared with ICSI, or IVF, or many of the other options. You still get to be pregnant, and your husband will be able to be involved in all aspects of your pregnancy and birth.
counting my blessings
Acupuncture and Chinese herbs can help with infertility due to low sperm motility. It helps the quality and quantity of the sperm in addition to helping the overall quality of the semen.
Also, eat more fish (but nowadays be careful of eating fish high in heavy metals).
We are facing infertility issues as well. Although it isn't due to sperm motility so I don't know much about that issue, I would strongly suggest seeing the accupuncurist Leslie Oldershaw. Her office is on Grand AVe and there are plenty of recommendations about her on the Parents Network - that's how I found her. She specializes in fertility issues and I remember her mentioning that she has treated men for sperm issues. She has a great holistic approach and will also look at diet and other issues to make sure that toxins, etc. aren't making things worse. Since medication is an issue for your husband, I can't recommend enough that you explore this approach. You have nothing to loose!
I had my first child 4 years ago (at age 35). We conceived
quickly. We've tried to get pregnant for the last 2 years
with no success. Tests showed that my partner's sperm count is
very low, with low motility and poor shape. We've tried
3 rounds of intrauterine insemination and one round of IVF with
no success. During the IVF my doctor determined that I had
poor quality eggs. Anyone else who has experienced this and
overcome it getting pregnant at 39? ''Feeling Hopeless''
Your situation sounds painfully familiar to mine. We did finally conceive
our second baby through IVF/ICSI after finally finding a reproductive
endocrinologist who specialized in treating women with poor egg
quality. (My husband had low motility as well.) The doctor was Dr.
William Schoolcraft of Denver. We had failed IVF with another RE (no
eggs fertilized), and he pretty much gave us no hope. At that time (6
years ago), most clinics were achieving about a 30% IVF success rate,
but Dr. Schoolcraft was achieving over 60%, with the majority of his
patients being couples who had already failed at IVF. We were very
confident that Dr. Schoolcraft was one of the only REs in the country
who could help us, so we were willing to travel. ; Also, his clinic works
with many patients who come from out of state, so they have worked out
the logistical details.
I would be happy to correspond with you about the details of my
treatment protocol with Dr. Schoolcraft. Please feel free to email me
My 34-year-old sister has had three miscarriages in the past two
years -- all of them within six weeks of conception. She is
seeing a Chinese herbalist who has succeeded in regulating her
ovulation cycles. In addition, she is taking baby aspirin.
However, she has not yet seen a fertility specialist and is
unconvinced that this will do her any good. Her OB/GYN has
performed a number of tests and says there is no reason why she
should not be able to have a healthy pregnancy. What is the best
course of action for her at this point? What would a fertility
specialist do for her that an OB/GYN would not? Is it worth the
time/money for a consultation at a fertility clinic? What kind
of tests should she undergo?
Yes, a fertility doctor is worth it! Most are endocrinologists
and have training way beyond what the ob/gyn does for both the
female trying to get pregnant as well as the male partner. I
think they should give it a try!
saw fertility doctor and got pregnant
Has she had her progesterone levels checked? I had 3 early
miscarriages at 6-7 weeks and it was found I had luteal phase
defect. Once I went on the progesterone I carried my baby to
Sounds like your sister is doing a lot of things to help her
fertility--but I wonder why the baby asprin? Has this been going on a
long time and at a doctor's recommendation? I'm not a doctor, but
that raised a lot of red flags. I was taught that asprin was not
good for mothers in the first and third trimesters, and should
probably be avoided during the pregnanacy as a whole. My dad used to
take one asprin a day it as a blood thinner. And my accupuncturist
always had me avoid even herbal blood thinners during pregnancy.
Perhaps you could suggest a complete health screening for your sister
first, taking into account all medications and even herbal
suppliments. She could talk with that doctor about the value of
seeing a fertility specialist. Wish her luck.
YES! OB's are great at getting women through pregnancy but not
necessarily getting them pregnant. A Reproductive
Endocrinologist (RE) is who your sister should see. Her
insurance *may* pay for it. Even if they don't pay for the
doctor's visit, some of the blood work might ! be covered. There
are many tests that an RE will order - and interpret -
different than an OB. She has had enough pain & heartache with
three miscarriages. All of the women I know who have been to
RE's (and unfortunately I know many) wished they had gone
Your sister could have a blood clotting disorder, which a
reproductive endocrinologist (fertility specialist) would know
to check for. After three miscarriages, most women are tested
for them. If she does have it, baby aspirin wouldn't be enough --
she would need to be on a blood thinner, such as heparin. Or
she could have the acupuncturist work on this if she prefers.
She still needs a diagnosis.
loved my reproductive endo
Baby aspirin is effective in some circumstances for preventing
miscarriage but there is controversy amoung fertility doctors
about who will benefit and who does not need it at all. Some say
only those who have specific clotting disorders known to cause
pregnancy, and I have heard of one doc who treats all IVF
patients w/ baby aspirin, on the other hand some who never do.
The expense of a fertility doctor will depend on who you see,
whether your insurance covers it, what your diagnosis is, and how
you decide to proceed. There are a myriad of ''treatments'' that
depend on a number of variables (no different than if you have ''a
stomach ache'' and are thinking of seeing a gastroenterologist).
You could go to a specialist who might diagnose something very
simple, for instance some underlying cause, and that will resolve
in pregnancy. Things can get substantively more complicated from
there, and the only answer that is valid is ''it depends'', on age,
diagnosis, treatment, luck, etc.
The one thing that is important is to educate yourself about your
body and situation. There are great books available in the
library and online (Amazon has relevant ratings by previous
readers), there are MANY on-line lists and resources to help you
choose whether a specialist might be appropriate, what doctor
will suit you, how much it might cost, and importantly- what
questions to ask if you set up an appointment.
A friend of mine is looking at the possibility of undergoing
IVF. They just found out her husband's motility is very low. One
option at this time is using doner sperm with the IUI procedure.
Their other option is to try IVF with her husbands sperm. She is
wondering if anyone has gone through with the IVF procedures and
looking back at it would have chosen the doner sperm as their
1st option instead.
My husband also has low motility and we pursued IVF. We had
success on our first IVF attempt, so I would recommend going
with your husband's sperm vs. a donor. However, you do not
state what your husband's count and motility levels are and
that could affect your decision. Speak to your IVF doctor and
follow your heart.
My husband's sperm has very low motility (due to a spinal cord
injury) and we chose IVF. We do not regret our choice. We were
candidates for Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) where they
retrieve the sperm and the eggs and then inject a single sperm
directly into each egg to increase the chances of fertilization.
We conceived two healthy children this way (a now 6.5 year old
from a fresh embryo and a now 3.5 year old from a frozen embryo).
I know your friend was curious about negative IVF experiences,
but I thought I would share our positive one anyway. She is
welcome to contact me for more information if she wants.
Well, it's finally been confirmed. The reason why my husband
and I haven't gotten pregnant within the last year is because
he has an extremely low sperm count. My GYN has referred us to
the RSC, but we already know we can't (and honestly refuse)
afford to pay that amount of money. We already have one son
(conceived naturally) and feel that in spending thousands of
dollars to try and have another is just taking away from him
and our plans. However, we would be in awe if a miracle were to
happen. So we have opted to weigh it out and give it some more
I remember reading previous listing discussing how others had
attempted alternatives to IVF or other infertily treatments. I
was hoping I could get some input or referrals from people who
have gone through this and made the decision to try non-
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Thankfully assuming
your partner is willing there's a lot that can be done to
improve sperm count. There is a daily supplement called
Proxeed which is very expensive, but apparently quite
effective in increasing motilty and count. Go here for more
There is also a lot to be said for acupuncture and Chinese
herbs. I don't have specifics but can recommend Dr Angela
Wu in SF.
Best of luck, I hope this helps.
My wife and I had a similar problem, I was diagnosed with very
low sperm count. We started various infertility treatments -
hormones (depo testosterone) and artificial insemination, with no
luck. We stopped all treatments (for a period of several months)
and were considering IVF when to our surprise we conceived
naturally. We also conceived our second child naturally (and
unexpectedly)nearly a year after the first was born. My points
(1) Don't give up yet.
(2) Doctors'/scientists' understanding of fertility is incomplete
at best. Statistically, it should have taken us ~10 years to
concieve naturally (for each child) based on the measured sperm
My husband and I are in a very similar situation. We have a
3 year old daughter and have been trying to conceive for more than
a year. We finally did some tests and found out that my husband
has a very low ( 8 million) sperm count, low motility and very bad
morphology. I also thought that IVF was very expensive. My husband
went to see an urologist who prescribed vitamin E, zinc and
carnitine (Proxeed). There has been a study in the Netherlands
showing that zinc + vitamin E can increase the sperm count by up
to 50%. My husband tried for 3 months and his numbers went from 8
to 12 millions. Unfortunately this is still very low. The low
motility is also a killer. If the numbers are low unfortunately it
is very difficult to save the situation. The urologist also
suggested to tie a varicocele but again this procedure is of
questionable value if the numbres are very low.
So for us IVF with ICSI is the only option left.
Hope this helps
still trying to have a second child
Check out www.onna.org for a list of vitamins and herbs
as well as info for how to maximize your odds. Have you
read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? A must-have and
she goes into how to time intercourse when sperm count
is a concern.
Also www.inciid.org for their bulletin boards for their
alternative therapy board, moderated by a MD who could
help with ideas for male factor supplements.
My husband and I have been trying for our second child for almost
2 years. After a miscarriage, we sought out a RE (reproductive
endocrinologist) in San Francisco, Pacific Fertility Center. We
have done 3 rounds of IUIs with injectible medications and they
all failed. Our diagnosis is mild ovulatory dysfunction and
borderline male factor. Help! Did you have success at other
fertility clinics? When did you know you have to advance to IVF
and was that the answer for you? Did you have insurance
coverage? If yes, who? If no, how much was it and how did you
afford it? Did you use alternative methods, ie acupuncture,
vitamins/supplements, diet, exercise, etc. We don't have
infertility coverage and would like to avoid IVF if possible.
The procedure and the medications are so expensive.
Any suggestions. Thank you for your help.
It seems to me that you need a Reproductive Endocrinologist that
you can really work with. A good RE will answer questions about
how likely you are to succeed with differing fertility
techniques. (You should be comfortable enough with them that you
value their advice over, say a mailing list ;-) I talked to
several, and found one I liked.
I loved my RE, Dr. Susan Willman, who's in Orinda (925) 254-0444.
I did try IUI's, but ended up with IVF, and now have two
children. The decision to go from IUI to IVF depends on many
factors, your diagnosis, but also your age, and what's important
to you. The Center for Disease Control publishes the rates of
IVF success by clinic, by the way. See
We paid for the IVF ourselves. None of the insurance offered us
covered IVF. However, the insurance did cover many of the blood
test before and medication (progesterone) after I got pregnant.
If you're already using injectibles, you're already paying some
of the costs of IVF.
I believe that it is important to pursue IVF as soon as it is
feasible for you, since age factor is one thing that is always
looming during infertility. You might want to have a second
child, and you need the lead time.
We were lucky in that we had insurance to cover all of our
attempts. My husband was employed by a company based
in Massachusetts. When Dukakis was governor he
mandated infertility insurance and we owe him a great debt
of gratitude. There are a few other states that this is also the
case for. He also worked for a California company that got
infertility insurance and offered us a $25,000 cap, which
paid for 2 tries.
I would join an online group called Fortility. They are
incredibly knowledgeable about fertility issues and it is a
great support group. You can reach them through
Also, try looking into other clinics such as UCSF,
Chetkowski, or other East Bay alternatives. Go for the
doctor/practice that you like the best. It helps when your
stress level goes up.
Dr. Wu in San Francisco is also amazing for fertility issues
2 time IVF winner, 6 attempts
I'm sorry about your miscarriage. I too when through a number of
miscarriages and many IUIs and drugs. Before you take the big
(and expensive) step up to IVF I would recommend you try
acupuncture and herbs. You may have already but you didn't
mention it. There's a specialist in SF called Angela Wu who
deals with fertility issues who has had tremendous successes.
She'll get you to change your diet, take herbs and she's
expensive but it worked for me and I now have a son. It won't
hurt you and it can only do good.
Her phone number is (415)752-0170 and she has a website at:
A very satisfied client
You don't mention your or your partner's ages, but they should
be considered a factor when deciding your next options. In my
case, my husband and I had been trying for more than five years,
and we were both in our late 30s when we began fertility
My doctor's belief was that anything more than one year of
trying without success constituted infertility. I believe the
fertility clinic we had an IVF at used three years of trying as
All our treatments were covered under Blue Cross PPO. But keep
in mind that even the same carriers offer different coverage,
depending on what the employer pays for. My husband's employer
paid for very good benefits and covered fertility up to a set
amount (I don't recall the amount); it didn't matter which type
of medical fertility treatment was used. I don't know whether
that included acupuncture and other alternative therapy.
My own OB/Gyn took us through six cycles of artificial
insemination before he referred us to a fertility clinic in Palo
Alto: Fertility Physicians of Northern California
(http://www.fpnc.com/). It also has an office in San Jose. We
live in the South Bay. The senior doctor there, G. David
Adamson, is a pioneer in the fertility field.
Neither my doctor nor the clinic could find anything wrong with
either of us, which in terms of pure statistics meant the odds
were lower than other couples that we would conceive. That's
because you can address a known cause of infertility. For
instance, if the male partner has a low sperm count, ''cleaning''
or ''spinning'' the sperm combined with directly fertilizing the
egg does wonders. Similarly, if a woman is not producing eggs,
she can use donor eggs.
At the fertility clinic, we were offered the option of one cycle
of artificial insemination with stronger fertility drugs (that I
would inject myself) to increase my egg production or going
right into in vitro. The difference was several thousand dollars
in price. At this point I was 38, and it seems 37 is the magical
cut-off point at which doctors tsk-tsk at you and say your odds
of conceiving have plummeted. We figured that although IVF was
more expensive, it would be even more costly to do another round
of insemination FOLLOWED by IVF if the insemination didn't take.
So we opted for IVF. I'm happy to report that we were
successful, and our son just turned 3. The funny thing is
because no one could ever find anything wrong with either one of
us, my doctor kept asking me about birth control, and I kept
saying we were holding out hopes of having one more child. But
by this time, we had exhausted our fertility coverage, and we
were down to one income. So we just tried the old-fashioned way.
To put a coda on this, we're expecting our second child in
March, and we did this one completely on our own. I believe a
lack of stress from my being away from the working world may
have a played a role. (On the other hand, I do have a toddler at
home.) But go figure.
I also went to Pacific Fertility Center in SF. We also did 3
medicated IUI's with them, and finally moved on to IVF. I think
they are very conservative in that they suggest several IUI's
before IVF--this is a testament to their honesty. If after
several IUI's you haven't succeeded, then I think the choice is
really yours (as it was ours) as to whether you want to make the
financial and emotional investments that IVF requires.
I have a 2 month old son thanks to IVF and the doctors at PFC.
The most important thing is to trust your doctor and their
advice--I was very pleased with everyone there and obviously,
thrilled with the outcome.
One last comment--do consider seriously the payment options
(''Plans'') they offer. We felt conflicted about our choice
immediately after making it (basically one is ''insurance'', one
is a one time shot, and one is a refund plan). We opted for the
one time shot, but really felt as though we were gambling--not a
nice feeling when you're dealing with something as unpredictable
as conception... My two cents: Give it lots of thought so that
you feel comfortable with your decision.
Good luck to you!
Accupuncture & Chinese herbs regulated & shortened my
cycle for the first time in my life, & I wasn't necessarily a
''believer''. Treatments can also be very soothing & relaxing.
These can be expensive, but you might call Chinese
medicine schools or Quan Yin in SF. Also, the idea that
adoption leads to increased rates of conception due
relaxing about having a baby & ''letting go'' may actually be
better (or also) explained by changing hormones. I had
started to miss periods for the few months before my (soon
to be adopted) baby daughter moved in w/ me, but they
quickly returned & became regulated, and I had clear signs
of ovulaton. Research has shown hormonal changes in
non-birth parents in reaction to babies. Is there a baby in
your life you could bond with? (I'm sure the parents would
be thrilled to have your help!).
Having said all this, you may want a 2nd opinion, especially
depending on your FSH level, so as not to ''waste'' any more
time-been there. I recommend Susan Wilman (RE) in
I got a happy (different) ending, but dealing w/fertility can be
so challenging. Good luck to you.
We did three IUI cycles before moving on to IVF. Unless there
are identifiable reasons why the IUI's weren't working that
could be addressed during future IUI's (like not enough
follicles), it seems that IUI is not working for you. There is
so much more control during an IVF cycle - they can really up
your stim meds because there isn't the multiples risk (or as
much of a risk) as with IUI. If you respond well, you may get
enough embryos for more than one cycle, so the money you are
putting into the stim meds goes further than with IUI. We got
pregnant after our 2nd IVF. Have you talked thru IVF with your
current RE team? THey should be able to help you understnad how
IVF may improve your odds over IUI.
I was in a similar situation and am so grateful I moved on to
IVF. We were getting nickled and dimed doing IUI's, not to
mention still spending a fortune on meds. (we did 1 clomid IUI,
and 3 medicated). We did a shared risk IVF program through Dr.
Susan Wilman in Orinda and got lucky the second time. We're
still paying down the home equity loan, but its worth it.
If you want some onging support from very cool informed women, I
recommend going to http://www.inciid.org/interinfertility.html
There are two forums that could be useful: Infertilty waiting
room and the IVF waiting room (see left column). These ladies
saved my sanity.
You did not say your age, which is VERY important...2 years of
trying at age 40 indicates you should run not walk to more
advanced care. It sounds like you have tried the strategies pre
IVF. IVF will cost about $10,000 for drugs, egg retrieval, and
1st round embryo transfer. If you have alot of good embryos,
then 2nd and 3rd rounds should involve only the costs of frozen
storage and embryo transfer (probably $1000). After all the
failures with clomid, IUI, etc., I was happy to finally get to
IVF, where I felt I had a better chance of success. We did get
pregnant on the 1st round and went through UCSF (the docs have
all moved on together to a new practice -don't know the name -
the docs are Schriock, Givens, and Ryan). Again, if you are
older, you should not waste any more time on unproven or less
I tried for 3 years to have a baby, but was opposed to using
fertility drugs. My sister in law recommended ''Eight Weeks to
Optimum Health'' by Dr. Andrew Weil, as she had several
miscarriages, did his program, and was able to carry her baby to
term. I did this program and did also get pregnant and had a
baby boy. I also had minor endometrial surgery which may have
been the fix (hard to know as the doctor said that there wasn't
much endometrius). I never had to try IVF, although I have two
friends who did for their first child, and ended up having
second children without planning them! Good luck!
It took me 4 years of medical intervention to get pregnant. I
have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I spent about two years having a
surgery and then using clomid and seeing bad doctors who weren't
really paying attention. The second two years I was with a
fantastic fertitlity specialist at Kaiser San Francisco, Dr.
Seth Feigenbaum. I don't know how many cycles of Repronex
injections we did but it took about two years so it was a lot.
It was entirely free with my Kaiser coverage. Kaiser doesn't
cover IVF so we were at the end of the line when Dr. Feigenbaum
got a little more aggressive with my treatment and we have a
beautiful 11 month old son now! Good luck!
Has anyone ever had experience with taking the drug Clomid (clomiphene
citrate)? If so, was there ever an adverse reaction that showed up in
your menstration? I recently took a test for my ovarium supply (to see
if I still had any eggs left). I only took Clomid for five days. Two
months later I suddenly had very heavy periods, like flooding, for two
cycles. Since then my periods have resumed to normal but by OB-GYN wants
to run a test (biopsy) and does not think the heavy bleeding could be due
to the Clomid. I am trying to avoid the biopsy if possible, since it sounds
pretty invasive (endometrial biopsy). I would love to hear feedback by
anyone who has had a similar experience, or had this biopsy procedure.
The first advice I have is to discuss the side effects of Clomid with
your doctor again. I am very shocked that the doctor thought that Clomid did
not cause your heavy periods. Is it a commonly known side effect, from what
I have read and experienced. In addition, there are several sites about
Clomid on the Web. You can just search on the word "Clomid" in any
search engine and get many sites. Check out
for starters or search on infoseek.com.
I took Clomid for about 4 months last spring and summer for infertility.
It made my already bad PMS even worse, and did lead to heavier periods.
Another side effect is ovarian cysts, and my OB/Gyn had my ovaries
palpated before each new prescription. Perhaps your doctor is going one step
further and doing a biopsy as well?
I hope this information helps. Best of luck to you!
Re infertility docs: I'd recommend you save yourself time and stress by
seeking the expertise of a Reproductive Endocrinologist for infertility
treatment (We have friends who have used UCSF, Chetkowski and Willman).
You can obtain R.E. referrals from the organization Resolve, along
with support and loads of information. If you haven't already done
some extensive reading about infertility, you might want to obtain a
book such as "Dr. Marr's Infertility Book" (I purchased at Stacey's
Books in S.F.) which outlines causes, diagnostic procedures and
treatments, costs, etc. There's definately different medical protocols
out there and it's helpful to be knowledgeable about your options so
you can fully participate in your care. We wish you much luck!
We used OMNI group which is in the building on the corner of Regent St...4th
floor I think. Darcy Ketchum was our doctor, now moved, but we did see all of
the doctors at one time or another. We actually used them once we were
already pregnant...for the pre pregnancy testing, etc., I went to Dr. Margaret
Cuthbert (now retired and writing her second novel.) We also saw Dr.
Chetkowski, but maybe that is a step beyond where you are now. Can you ask to
have appts with just one doctor...whichever one you feel most comfortable
with? Seems like not so much to ask. Good luck.
I have not used the doctors you mentioned but have gone through
lots of treatments.
Round 1: Used my gynecologist, Dr. Gore of SF. He was not a specialist
and how he treated me was inexcusable. PLEASE continue to use
Round 2: Used Dr Kiltz, a partner of Dr. Chetkowski, in Berkeley.
He and everybody in the group were wonderful. However it
wasn't a good test since I got pregnant the first round of
Pergonal treatments. Kiltz has since moved to New York.
Round 3: One year after my son was born we went back to Chetkowski.
I had run ins with one nurse, told Chetkowski about it, and
never had to deal with her again. 4-5 tries of Pergonal later
we left that practice. Chetkoski told me I couldn't have
childre and should give up but never gave me test results to
back that up.
Round 4: Went to Dr. Eldon Schriock at UCSF. He looked at my records, show
showed me the test results that strongly suggest I couldn't have
children. He suggested a psychologist to talk with (Dr. Ellie
Schwartzmann of Oakland, what a wonderfully helpful woman)
We have tried a variety of treatments with him since then
Although they haven't been successful, on the whole everybody
has been nice and supportive. One comment about Schriock,
he has his nurses talking with you. You have to force them to
have him call you and then it takes a couple of days.
Both of the practices have their pros and cons as do all of them
The only suggestion I can make is that you make sure you are extremely
comfortable with the practice, doctors nurses and receptionists alike.
These treatments are unbelievably stressful and you need a lot of support.
If you need more information, try Resolve, the national fertility support group.
They have a San Francisco office.
this page was last updated: Apr 22, 2012
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