Friend in denial about depression, turning to Scientology

I need advice about a friend who is seriously considering becoming a Scientologist. My concern is not with this in itself. But she clearly has issues with mental illness, namely depression. I know this because I also suffer from it and without going into detail, we met through this connection. She has a pattern of denying this and trying to find other ''remedies''. I am not suggesting that a healthy spiritual life cannot help her a great deal. But there is just a certain level in which you can just tell a person really needs therapy and possibly medication, especially when these other attempts at other solutions have repeatedly failed. We are relatively close, but not close enough that I feel I can just talk with her directly without her alienating her. My concern is with the churches incredibly naive view of psychiatry. Their assumption that those who suffer from real mental illnesses are not aware of all the risks is in my opinion, arrogant. While I am no fan of drug companies and understand that there are several uneducated patients using drugs, there are so many that do know. But there seems to be a very real lack of comprehension in the Church that many people will take these risks because the alternative is WORSE! They also have a very limited knowledge on the subject, too. They don't seem to appreciate the various combined steps that doctors and patients take together - it's not all about walking into a doctor's office, saying you feel sad and they prescribing a pill. I fear that the Church will steer her away from examining treatment she may really need. I know that there are irresponsible doctors out there. But a responsible doctor looks for multiple types of treatment to help a patient - and these doctors DO exist. My strong sense is that this is really what my friend may need. Does anyone have any advice on how I may approach my friend with my concerns without completely shutting her off? Thanks Anon

On a personal note;I am very much opposed to taking drugs for mental illness. My convictions are not based on Scientology teachings, but purely on my own research and experience. I received a tremendous amount of information from the following Yahoo Group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/SSRI- Crusaders/

In case you wonder; this group has absolutely nothing to do with Scientology. It's a group similar to BPN where people post their viewpoints and experiences. Many of the people have either been on antidepressants or have lost someone because of them. I have saved several posts, because they displayed such horrendous truth and pain. Feel free to e-mail me and I'll forward them to you. Or join the group and get the data yourself.

To me, Scientology is a holistic approach to mental health. And, as with holistic or homeopathic care; no drugs are involved. EVER! If it isn't for her, she can always turn to something else.

I think my friend is depressed - what should I do?

I am increasingly worried about a friend. Since her second child was born nearly 2 years ago, she has been lethargic & getting more so. She has put on weight, lets her kids watch lots of TV, stays home a lot & in fact, has lost interest in just about everything except shopping. She seems on a mad drive to acquire stuff, mainly clothes & jewelry. She does a lot of internet browsing & shopping & also orders a lot from catalogs. I am not sure how much but there seems to be a constant supply of deliveries to her house. None of it seems to make her happy & in fact, some of it seems to stay in the boxes or unworn in her closet. Her husband - a lawyer - works really long hours & she is on her own a lot, especially during the week. She is also in charge of the finances which is a really bad idea. I guess they are doing well but she has made a few remarks recently that hint they may have debts & she is not telling her husband about them. I think she needs help, but I don't know what sort & for what. Does it sound like she is depressed? Her marraige seems fine & she is mostly cheerful but she does seem to have problems & sometimes it seems like she wants to talk but I don't know what to say & what to advise. Should I ask if she wants to get therapy? Debt counselling? Does anyone know of a therapist who works this problem. I don't want to approach her husband & am not sure what to do. Thanks. anonymous, please

I'd agree your friend is depressed and is a shopaholic. BUT I can't see ANY way you can tell her without completely alienating her. You could talk to her husband, but I'd bet that would alienate her, too, eventually. I think your concern for your friend is laudable, but confronting her with the info is sure to end your friendship completely.

The only thing I can think of that would still save your friendship is to draw her out--invite her to come out of the house to do active things and gradually start conversations about her newly poor health and about the frantic shopping. Tough situation; I don't envy you. Good luck. Jennie