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I'm expecting my 2nd any day now & am still nursing my 22 month
old. He's starting to nurse more and more these days and I'm
wondering if that's normal due to the circumstances, and if and
when it might let up. Once the baby's born, is it best to let
the older one nurse as much as he wants, or try to limit it?
Also, is there a local tandem nursing support group? I go to LLL
meetings sometimes, but would love to find something more
specific to tandem nursing.
My first child was 27 months when #2 was born. I tandem nursed
not so much by choice but just because it happened that way: #1
was just not ready to be weaned yet. While I really enjoyed some
parts of it (the closeness of both kids, the sharing, falling
asleep in my arms, the absence of jealousy), I do remember it
being very hard on mom's body. I threw out my neck lugging the
two kids, something that still bothers me a bit even after a few
There are many ways that this could go for you -- your older
child may want to nurse even more when the new baby (and your
new milk) arrive or he may find your new flavor and the
competition off-putting. Also, you may decide that nursing a
newborn and your toddler is just too much for you, or you may
find that nursing two is the best way to get some peace.
I highly recommend you look at the book ''Adventures in Tandem
Nursing,'' published last year by LLL. I am currently nursing
two (6 months and 3 1/2) and found it to be a very reassuring
read. The book does not advocate for a particular schedule or
technique for nursing, weaning, etc., rather it describes the
various ways that mothers have handled tandem nursing. It
helped prepare me for the complicated feelings I had when
caring for a newborn and a toddler with increasing demands for
Your older child should always nurse after the baby, as
breastmilk is the baby's sole source of nutrition. You might
want to offer more frequent snacks to your older child, to slow
him down a bit on the nursing.
I'm in the final month of pregnancy and my 27 month old daughter
is still very actively nursing. I tried half-heartedly to wean her
in early pregnancy, but it was too stressful for both of us and
now it looks like I'll be nursing my newborn baby and my toddler.
I read the advice given about pregnancy and nursing and there was
some advice about nursing a toddler and an infant, but I'd like to
hear from more people. Specifically, how did you so it
logistically? Did they nurse at the same time? Did the baby nurse
first? What were some of the problems/ benefits? What would you do
differently, if given the chance? Any advice would be welcome.
LaLeche Leagued has tons of advice on tandem nursing. I did a
search for it and here are some I found:
My daughter was 32 months when the baby was born and she loved
to nurse. Before the baby I started to let her know that the
baby only ate breastmilk, but she could have all kinds of food
so that the baby would always nurse first. I was very strict
with her not nursing all of the time. I would carve out some
special time, usually at night, when it would be the toddler's
time to nurse with no interruptions while my husband took the
At first, the toddler would get jealous when the baby would
nurse, but I would gently remind her that the baby only could
have breastmilk. Something that helps is to have a box with
snacks that the toddler can help herself to while you are
nursing. Then she can snack while the baby eats. Another
thing that really worked was to nurse the baby on my bed and
read a book to the toddler at the same time. They both get the
closeness without both nursing.
I would recommend being firm with the toddler and not let her
go back to full time nursing. If you want to nurse both, there
will be some rough days when you feel like a milk cow, but it
gets better after a few weeks.
this page was last updated: Nov 17, 2006
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