Reduction in Bra Size after Weaning
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Reduction in Bra Size after Weaning
Nov 2007
I realize this is a minor issue in the grand scheme, but it's
one I would like to feel better about. I just finished over 4
years of breastfeeding (2 kids) and my boobs are GONE.
Granted, they were not big to start with, I've always been an
A, but now they are a saggy AA. I am reasonably tall and thin
and feel like I look disproportionate. Clothes don't fit me
well and I look like a 12 year old boy with a sweater on. I
loved my full breasts while nursing. They made me feel
womanly, sensual and more balanced and proportionate. Catching
sight of them or feeling them actually even turned me on. Now,
I avoid looking at them whenever possible. My husband claims
to love them and me as I am, but I also know he enjoyed my C
cups while they lasted. I'm not a breast implant kind of
person, but lately I find myself fantasizing about getting
them - just little ones, just to be a B. I don't think I could
ever do it - the money, the medical risk, the whole concept.
I'm a feminist for god's sake. I would never want my daughter
or parents or friends to know. And yet... I don't know why it
bothers me so much, other than as part of my generally
perfectionist tendencies. I'm happily married. I don't want
them to attract men, and don't even think my husband
necessarily cares, it's more for me. So, short of becoming a
permanent wet nurse, what to do? Anyone made peace with their
small breasts, anyone pull off a totally secret, pain-free, no
risk boob job? Is this just part of mourning for the whole
physical part of motherhood that is over for me? I want to
love my body and feel sensual and sexual and confident, but I
feel like my boobs are holding me back.
Nearly A
Oh lord, do I know this one! I've never had full breasts
either (before babies I was a respectable A cup) and after
breastfeeding, I am now a deflated AA. I gotta be honest, it
really sucks! Makes me want to get knocked up again so I can
enjoy those C cups again :) In reality though, having teeny
breasts really isn't that bum of a deal. We don't have to wear
a bra all the time. Hell, no one can tell if you are or aren't
with small breasts! It allows you to buy really tiny sizes of
shirts, which always makes me smile after having a baby and
losing baby weight. We won't have to be dissapointed with
sagging breasts (delfated maybe, but in the same spot!) I'm
sure there are many other advantages also. I'm hoping to hear
a few new ones myself. Just wanted to post to let you know
you're not alone. Buck up, could be something much worse!!
Take care and go buy some sexy panties for yourself :)
Fellow member of the itty bitty titty commitee
If you can find a way to get a secret, subtle boob job that makes you
feel better
about your boobs, I say do it. Perhaps you could get them lifted,
without any
implants. Maybe do it before going on vacation or starting an exercise
program,
then everyone will assume that you just look healthier. As for being a
feminist, I'm a
feminist too--of course--and I don't see any contradiction. You're not a
slave to
beauty standards, but you live in a world that cares about beauty, and
beauty/
glamour/sexiness is important for many reasons. Women having good sex is
in
keeping with feminist values. If you feel happier, sexier, lustier, with
perky breasts,
go for it. As you said, it's not a big issue in the scheme of things. If
you don't get a
boob job, no woman is going to suddenly start earning equal pay for her
work. Each
individual decision is not really a feminist issue. As we get older
there are a lot of
little things we can do to keep looking good and take the edge off of
the ravages of
age. Go for it, and have fun.
glamour matters
Been there, dear ''nearly A'', it was 9 years ago when I stopped nursing
my 3rd kid
and realized I would never had nice breasts again. To tell the truth, I
still mourn
them. I finally got rid of the dresses I wore before kids that showed
off what I
considered my best attribute. For a while i bought underwired bra, so I
wouldn't
look so flat, but I disliked the feel of it and went to sports bra. I
enjoy ''no bra days''
as well. With such small breast, if I do not have to run, I can stay
without a bra with
no discomfort. So I started to like my small breasts. Then came the
terrible day
when we talked about plastic surgery my husband and I. I started by
telling him I
wanted to have a neck lift, or some fillers to remove wrinkles and he
told me he
loved the way I was and didn't want me to do any surgery. Then I asked,
''how about
breast implant? Would you like me to get my breast back?'' and he said
yes! That
was a hard blow, it'll take me probably another 10 years to get over
this one. You'll
probably think my story is a bit ridiculous, and it is, when we think
about women
who go through really traumatic experiences with their breasts... so,
sister, let's
cheer up and consider ourselves lucky as long are we are healthy.
tiny too
hi nearly A. i was a AA after nursing 3 kids and i was not
happy. i had never been large, but was a C while nursing.
boy, did i enjoy that! however, 6 mos after finishing nursing
my baby, i did investigate getting breast augmentation. for
me, my breasts were very much tied into my idea of what is
feminine, attractive and something i had always wanted. i
imagined every possible negative outcome and none was
outweighed by the fact that i wanted to do this for ME and it
was important to ME. i ended up having surgery this spring and
it was the best decision i made this year. i am very happy,
had a safe surgery w/ a trusted doctor, uneventful and fairly
painfree recovery and just couldn't be more pleased. breast
surgery isn't for everyone, but believe me, i couldn't care
less who knows. if people are going to judge me and the worst
thing they can say about me is that my breasts are fake, who
cares? i am a good wife, great mom and wonderful friend. i
did it for the right reasons, safely and happily. i wish you
luck! implantinfo.com is an excellent resource for those even
considering. you can look at photos and talk to real women who
have been through it.
got a rack!
Dear Nearly A,
I understand you very well! I, too, nursed my toddler for over
two years, and felt very feminine and attractive in a nursing
bra and a Size 0 shirt! I used to hate my small breasts, but
my attitude changed when I started running for exercise and
fun, and met lots of strong, athletic, flat-breasted, happy
women. I felt like I joined a club! As a bonus, running
builds great legs. (My husband jokes that I am so vane if I
mention it, but I wouldn't trade mine with Victoria's Secret's
models.)
running mom of 2 and one the way
Get a good bra fitting. There are some wonderfully cute slightly
padded bras that would make you feel great about your small
boobs. Me, I am jealous. My breasts are big and due to b-feeding
now are really super duper saggy. The grass is always greener,
isn't it?
Mom on Hayward Fault
I'm in a similar boat - was a small B, now, post baby, a
slightly saggy A. I have generally (both before and after) been
ok with my small boobs - (I actually feel like it fits with my
tall slim build), but definitely don't love the new saggy
factor. So I have become a complete convert to padded bras.
You don't mention if you're already wearing them, but if not,
look around and see what there is in terms of push-ups and
padded options. I actually found a Gilligan O-Malley bra at
Target that I now own in 5 colors. I feel like the padding
makes me look like a full B, though they are A cups. Good luck.
small boobed too
I could have written your post - only I have been pregnant or
nursing for the last 5 years. There was a short break when I
saw what my breasts will become when I finally wean my last
child. I am not happy about the saggy AA look. I am not
really the implant sort of person, but if no one knows maybe it
is ok. I like wearing sexy clothes and don't want to give it
up. I don't want to put on the padded bras either.
I did some net surfing and discovered that most women who have
implants are in their 30s with multiple kids, so we are not
alone. I am not sure how I will explain it to my husband (I am
sure he will support me). I am not sure where I will get the
money. I am planning to find someone knowledgeable to discuss
that actual risks involved, and my expectations.
I think it is just for me and it is mostly vanity, but I can
live with that.
nursing mom
I went to Victoria's Secret and bought some padded bras. I think
Warner's also has a new line for the ''petite'' figure. My clothes
look 10 times better. Sometimes I even forget I'm flat-chested.
L.
This may be a really weird response. I'll start with the
disclaimers - I think tall, thin, relatively ''flat'' women are
beautiful, I would not take surgery lightly and I don't think
there's a totally pain free way to have surgery. General
anesthesia stresses on the body. But...
My sister-in-law (bro's wife) - totally gorgeous, tall, slim
woman who really has everything a woman could want - was
feeling less-than-beautiful due to her small breasts. Her
husband loved her and them as they were. But she finally went
for it. She has two daughters, 2 and 5 at the time. She
actually went up to possibly a C. Everyone was stunned at the
change in her attitude. The kids had no idea. There was big
pain for the first week or two, including not being able to
pick up kids. I would have advocated against it and everyone
did, but it really did make her happier. Shallow as that
sounds. You know, with the sophistication of procedures these
days, it's on the same spectrum as coloring your hair or even
dressing and accessorizing yourself, I think. I wouldn't do it,
but there's a lot of judgement out there that is maybe
inappropriate itself.
Anon
I was in the same boat, although I was a C cup before having
children. After 2 stints of nursing, my breasts were GONE.
Really, nothing but skin left. I did get an augmentation, and I
am pleased with the results. I did not get big ones, I don't
show them off, and I don't ever mention them (except with my
husband, who thinks I am nuts not to be showing cleavage all the
time!). They do not look like they did pre-children. But they
exist. And I feel MUCH better about my appearance. It was bad
enough to lose my waistline and get stretch marks. But I really
didn't feel I had to take all of what I was dealt.
When my daughter is older, I will discuss it with her, and tell
her (truthfully) that I never would have done any of it before
nursing children, and that I consider it a ''renovation''.
If you consider this route at all, speak to a number of plastic
surgeons for consultations, and go online to look for user groups
of people who have had the work done. Most surgeons will give
you a realistic idea of what to expect and have lots of before
and afters. And user groups definitely will. You'd be surprised
how many people are eager to show off their pictures.
You should probably give yourself some time to research and soul
search before you do anything. My decision was a no-brainer.
Best wishes to you!
Former Flatsy Patsy
I have also struggled with the same issue of having a small
chest. I became a saggy AA after my son weaned. I'm the natural
type and not brave enough to do the surgery thing, plus my
husband doesn't really care that I'm small. I've found padded
bras work wonderfully. I had a problem of constant ''headlights''
so I needed the bra to tone the lights down. I found the added
cup size to be perfect. The bra lifts them up more and gives me
at least one more cup size. I bought mine at Target, but have
since seen a great bra at Victoria's Secret with some type of gel
insert that I hear is awesome.
Small and Happy
I went/am going through the same thing! It's so sad, and the fact that
it bothered
me so much was equally annoying. I have found some padded bras that help
to feel
sexy. All of that extra skin can get pushed up into cleavage - something
I never had
before! Victoria's Secret doesn't always have great quality, but I
bought one of their
bras that seemed super padded, and I love it. I wear it with revealing
shirts, and it
really looks as if I have boobs. And I have actually started to come to
terms with my
little ones. For one thing, they do start to look a little less saggy
after awhile. I've
started wearing shirts without padded bras and feeling fine about it. I
think it was
more than just the breasts - it was the first thing on my body that
showed serious
signs of aging, and it was scary for me, and I jumped ahead of myself.
But I basically
let myself spend time complaining about them and now I am a lot closer
to
acceptance.
Good luck!
been there
I don't have an answer, but I wanted to let you know you are not
alone. I have small breasts (smaller after pregnancy and
nursing, too), and sometimes also fantasize about having bigger
breasts... both my husband and I enjoyed my ''fuller'' persona when
I was pregnant/nursing! I also consider myself a feminist and
would not think seriously about having an operation. My
''solution'' is to use bras that have a little pad, just enough to
make me feel comfortable, but not too much so I'd feel
uncomfortable or fake.
Anon.
You need a different perspective on this. You are agonizing waaay too
much over
this.
What's wrong with getting breast implants? You're afraid of the
polically correct
feminist police getting you? Why do you care what other people think?
Those same
PC feminist police might also try to shame you if you shave your legs,
do your hair,
don't dress frumpy, or wear makeup, for goodness sake. Your body is your
body,
period, and nobody has the right to guilt trip you or manipulate you
into doing
anything to it you don't want -- i.e., have sex, tattoos, get surgery,
not get surgery,
whatever kind of body modification you're considering. I did get
implants 10 years
ago and it was the best thing I ever did for my body and body image.
Suddenly
clothes fit, I could wear an actual bra, and most importantly I
completely stopped
obsessing over my small (AA) breasts and put my energy onto other
things. It's my
body, I pay my own bills, nobody else is supporting me, &c, so I figure
it's absolutely
nobody else's business what I do with my body.
In the hands of a qualified plastic and reconstructive surgeon, provided
you are a
good surgical risk, you are likely to not have complications. Saline is
safe and
silicone has been re-issued. Provided you are not spending money needed
for food
and rent, why not?
You have to decide what to do with your body, regardless of what other's
''might
think.'' I'd also applaud you if you chose to not go that route, or if
you refused them
because someone else was pressuring you. Good luck!
C cup
My sister had your exact situation - A cups before pregnancies,
breasts she loved while pregnant & nursing, and then empty
saggy sacks afterward.
She recently had breast implant surgery. She only hurt for less
than a week and was SO clear that she didn't want ''stripper
boobs'' that her doctor kept repeating it to her, no stripper
boobs. The implants were teardrop shaped, the new improved
silicone, small C size and they look extremely natural.
She did it for herself, not for anyone else. She likes to swim
and water ski and hang around in swimsuits and just couldn't
stand how she looked after she lost her breasts. Before she did
it she kept saying ''I can't believe I'm even thinking about
this'' but now she says she wish she'd done it sooner.
Hope this helps.
sister
What about having the best of both worlds - removable implants?
Get those silicone things you can put into a bra, and then you
can have "C" cups when you want 'em, but you'll still be able to
sleep on your stomach or run to the store without a bra on
when you want to. Personally, I love being small. Or "flat"
as my doctor refers to it, so sensitively.
Patsy
------------------------------------------
Ditto to all your feelings!! I've actually finally learned to
appreciate my very small size for the comfort factor (not
cumbersome, light-weight, no back pain, no need for under-wire,
etc..) but the aesthetics of it have bothered me my entire life.
I've always had to buy a size large bikini bottom because of
curvy hips, and a size small bikini top with padding or it will
sag! Have also fantasized about surgery but always come back to
the reality that it is just not me, and is just too impractical
for so many reasons. So now I always wear a generously padded bra
-- it makes me feel good to have an aesthetically pleasing body
line. I've tried the ''water bra'' which also works well, but it's
a little heavy for daily use. There are so many types of padded
bras -- you can definitely fine one that suits you. You can also
do exercises to build up your pectoral muscles, which gives a
rounder shape to the chest area, which is of course also good for
overrall health anyway. Perhaps in an idea world we would all
just embrace our unique shapes and go naked, but in the world we
live in, we do dress and create an image, so there's nothing
wrong with creating one that pleases you.
Tiny too
I often cringe when I read the phrase, ''I could have written
your post'' -- but you couldn't have described me more (except I
have two boys!) I'm almost 6'2'' with a boyish figure, but
girly style. My mother is a 36D (and sister too), so I've been
waiting my whole life to ''bloom.'' I used to think that having
small breasts would mean they'd remain perky, but 5 years of
breastfeeding proved me wrong. Here is what I'm doing:
1- I try to really believe my husband when he says he loves my
body and finds me sexy. I hold the image in my head of myself
when I felt that way more.
2- I went to Victoria's Secret and got sized for a new bra.
(Recent BPN posts had other great places to get bra-fittings).
They were pretty nice - I went on a weekday morning and it was
empty. I was discouraged to find out that I needed and even
smaller size (I'm a 34-nearly A instead of 36A), but I got a
bra with a bit of liner for no-show-through with t-shirts. I
don't care that it is not all me! I look much better now and
feel sexier. It's not padded, but you could also try a push-up
for more umph if you want.
3- I'm trying to get more exercize to feel better in general
about myself and body.
One friend also said she went on the new birth control pill and
that helped her bustline and PMS moods!
surviving small
I was saddened by many of the responses to this post (which I
have not read). I have very small, hershey's kiss-like boobs
and I resent the automatic assumption that I should feel ugly
because of this. I often imagine how much sweeter the world
would be if there were no such thing as breast implants, and if
all the different types of breast were displayed and adored
(like different hair types for example.) Also,imagine if
commercial porn had not insinuated itself into the mainstream?
But alas, we live in this world. Here are some suggestions, look
to standards of beauty in other times and places, atleast you
will see they are incredibly varied and therefore arbitrary(yes,
breasts represent ''Female'' but so does a swollen abdomen). I
have a BEAUTIFUL art nouveau statue of a woman with my figure.
I've also found inspiration in high fashion (which I know causes
problems for many other women). But check it out, the more
expensive the clothes the smaller the boobs on the model, in
fact they often hunch forward to heighten that effect. A man in
my family is a popular rock musician who is constantly pursued
by beautiful women. He only falls for the small breasted ones
because that is what he prefers. I wish I could say that I never
wear padded bras to make my clothes fit or that I don't dread
that first time naked moment with a man who prefers fake boobs,
because as a feminist I do want to be a role model to younger
women. Think about how good you feel when of us proudly flaunts
it. That said, a world in which WE were the absolute ideal would
be a hellish tyranny. Just love your living self and tune out
the BS hype.
Another Beautiful Woman (like you)
I enjoyed the recent round of responses to this question -- the
NON-implant ones especially! I've only had one kid so far, but
found myself going from a perky 34-A (almost B), to a
disproportionate 34-DD, then back to a droopy 34-B (almost A)
again -- but I'm still breastfeeding my 2-year-old, so just
imagine what will happen when I stop lactating!
What I try to remember is how HARD it was to find shirts (or,
heaven forbid, swimsuits) that fit when I was busty. I am tall
and slender, and everything that fit elsewhere was too tight
across the chest, and I felt like Pamela Anderson. Or if I wore
a loose-fitting shirt, I felt dumpy and heavy.
But now with a good bra, I can look sleek and boyish again. I
saw a picture of the small-breasted indie actress Martha Plimpton
in the New York Times recently, and even though she's 38 (my age)
she looked great in a tight t-shirt.
anon
May 2006
Help! I can't find my breasts! They weren't large to begin with
(barely A's), but after two kids, they have practically
disappeared. The funny thing is, they pretty much returned to
normal after I had the first kid (even though I ended up 5 pounds
below my pre-pregnancy weight), so I wasn't expecting them to
vanish after my second. I haven't lactated in 18 months, and my
weight has returned to the pre-pregnancy-minus-5-lbs point, which
is fine and I don't expect it to change significantly.
I am not interested in surgery, but since I'm done having kids
and thus am not worried about possibly damaging my fertility, I'm
willing to consider some sort of hormonal solution. I am already
well-acquainted with padded bras, although if you want to
recommend a particular favorite, please feel free. (I usually
wear lightly-padded Thank Goodness It Fits bras.)
Flat as a board in Berkeley
Dear flat sister,
I have had three children and am pregnant with the fourth and sadly,
with each kid my breasts have retreated further and further inward. I
started out a great looking 34D and after the third one was a 34AA. I
assume it will only get worse with this one! My OB told me the
following: If you want breast tissue in your life you must, simply must,
carry at least 10 extra pounds on you maybe 20. It's a fat issue. Back
down to my pre pregnancy weight or even a little below, there just isnt
enough extra fat around to help out upstairs. Since I am wholly
unwilling to carry around extra weight unless pregnant, it's push up
bras for me. Surgery sounds too frightening, I have read too many ''they
cut the nerves to my nipples'' stories, and I am not interested. So, my
personal plan is to keep the padded bras and stop worrying or longing
for pre-pregnancy breasts.
Flatsy
I feel your pain. I love the Jockey padded microfiber underwire bra
(style #4721). At jockey.com and barenecessities.com all Jockey bras
are 25% off this month.
anon
I want mine back, too! This happened to me after my first baby.
I was a solid B cup, but a year and half after weaning, I was
definitiely an A cup, and they were riding much lower than before the
pregnancy. I guess I expected that, but not that I would lose a whole
cup size! This also has happened to many of my friends, so it does seem
to be part of the post pregnancy body changes. I even had one friend who
had previously had a breast reduction in her early twenties, but after
her two kids, decided to have just a slight breast enlargement because
she was so flat and it bothered her so much. I am not going this route,
but I do miss having fullness on the top to balance out my hips.
Outside of padded bras and plastic surgery, there are not any real
options. All of the creams and herbs and vitamins in the world won't add
fatty tissue to your breasts, this is per a plastic surgeon that I work
with. Oh well...
In the same boob boat
Lots of women find themselves with smaller, flatter breasts after
nursing, and for those of us that were small to begin with, a small
reduction can represent a large portion of what was there to begin with!
But befor you go the chem route, consider exercise. If you build up the
muscles underneath your breasts, your pectorals, your breasts will
appear larger and firmer and you can even get a hint of cleavage too.
Many women are woefully under-muscled, especially in the upper body. And
not only will your body look better, you'll have an easier time carrying
your kids, and lifting heavy objects.
Increased muscle mass also raises basal metabolism, tilts your lean mass
ratio (proportion of fat tissue to lean tissues) in a healthier
direction and helps to prevent weight gain and osteoporosis as we age.
So what's not to like?
If you're inexperienced with strength training, consult with a certified
personal trainer, to get a specialized program, and some basic
techniques under your belt.
Helene
To Flatsy, et al: I think the advice given by your OB is part of the
answer. (''It's a fat issue.'') But I am not convinced you have to
look fat or be obese to have boobs. Well, come back and talk to me
after I've had 2 more kids, but here's my thought.
After my first daughter was born and I was breastfeeding, I lost all of
my pregnancy weight and then some in a few short weeks. I do not think
I was well--I was eating voraciously and never felt satisfied. But then
someone told me about the traditional/native/primal diet (which isn't a
''diet'' in the parlance of our times per se, but rather the way that
people used to eat before industrialization). I perused the Weston A
Price
(westonaprice.org) and realmilk.org websites, and read ''Traditional
Foods are Your Best Medicine'' by Ron Schmidt, ND, and skimmed the
amazing photos in ''Nutrition and Physical Degeneration'', by Weston A
Price, DDS. I started eating better, consuming higher quality fats
(i.e. animal fats from pastured animals not treated with hormones and
antibiotics) and feel so much better--I am now (2 years later) about the
same size I was before my pregnancy, and my breasts are still roughly
the same size (only a little bit smaller). I think that some amount of
breast tissue loss is normal after nursing, but I also now firmly
believe that pregnancy depletes your body of its reserves and you must
eat much higher-quality, nutrient-dense food to ever hope to replenish
it (and maybe that's part of the reason why after 3 or
4 kids a D can go to an AA). Our society tells us we need to eat
poor-quality (think: factory-farmed and processed) low fat foods to stay
slim and ''healthy'', but traditional societies had it right all along.
Good luck to you in replenishing your post-pregnancy body.
--Only a little bit Flatsy
May 2004
I was always a little larger in the breast-zone than I wanted
to be growing up (D). They weren't horrible, just large enough
to cause some back pain and difficulty with running, etc. But
when I became pregnant, well let's just say I would have been
happy to go back to my little size Ds. A few weeks ago I
stopped breast feeding and my breasts have seriously deflated.
At first I was rather thrilled. Pre-pregnancy shirts that had
once been a little tight, fit perfectly and overall I just felt
lighter. But now I'm having a hard time keeping my pancake
breasts confined while exercising, etc. They are super floppy.
They keep slidding out from under my sports bras while I'm
running, or doing any activity where I have to bounce. Any
suggestions? Is this temporary? Thanks
the grass is always greener
I wish I could say that this was temporary, but I weaned my
second baby many months ago, and I am also a member of the
pancake club. My advice is to get to Title 9 Sports - just
around the corner from REI. They have the best bra selection
you will find anywhere.
anon
Aug 1999
Has any one experienced quite significant reduction in bra size after
child birth (also one-year of breastfeeding in my case)? (This is in
no way to speak against breastfeeding!) Is there anything effective
and safe to do to get back to the original size? Thanks.
I'm afraid that I can offer nothing more constructive than "wait and
see." I nursed for a year full-time and a few months more part-time,
and we have just recently weaned completely. I went from a solid B cup
pre-pregnancy and delivery, with which I was quite content, to a C while
nursing, to something noticeably dinkier during and post-weaning. I
have, however, resisted investing in new bras, since it appears that
over time I am regaining at least some of the lost bosom. The poster
did not mention how long ago she gave up nursing, but she might try just
sitting tight for a bit and seeing what happens.
Yes, this is a common occurrence. I have heard it explained as
follows: when you are younger, your body is in a state of readiness for
pregnancy and nursing, and so keeps a certain amount of tissue around "just
in case we need it". When you get pregnant, of course, your body gears up
for nursing in a big way, and your breasts usually get larger (sometimes
*much* larger!). But when you are done nursing, your body no longer needs
to carry around extra stuff, because it *knows* exactly what you will
need for nursing, should you ever get pregnant again. So your breasts can
be *smaller* after nursing (or even if you don't nurse). And of course
the whole process will also cause your breasts to lose firmness as well
(think about a knit skirt that gets all stretched out--it's never going to
be as springy and tight as it used to be!), which can make them ride lower
on your body, spread out more, and look smaller. It's one of those dirty
little secrets that they don't tell you before you get pregnant.
Unfortunately, I don't know of anything to do about it. Perhaps
someone else on the list will have ideas other than implants.
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