Baby Refuses the Bottle
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Baby Refuses the Bottle
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January 2004
I just had a baby, three weeks ago, and am in that sleep
deprived, completely incoherent state--seems like making
complete sentences is a challenge. Trying to sort through
all the advice in parenting/baby books is too
overwhelming--so I need help! When can I start pumping
milk and feeding my baby with bottles? I'm really desperate
to have my husband do one feeding a night so I can sleep
for 3-4 hours. I can't deal with the sleep deprivation--feel
like I' mgoing to go crazy. How do people do this? I'm
irritable, impatient, frustrated, and feel like I can't enjoy my
baby. Not the blissful time I'd hoped for.
So what's the deal with bottles? Any advice on this much
appreciated--what kind of bottles to buy, what kind of
nipples, pumping--when? how often? how much?
There's just too much information in some ways, takes too
much energy and mental focus to sort through right now.
sleep deprived and wanting bottles
I sympathize with you whole-heartedly. I had my first baby 4
years ago but reading your note made it seem like yesterday. I
always thought someone should write a book or article about what
it is REALLY like coming home with a little demanding being that
keeps you awake all night and you are supposed to love
immediately (it took me a good 3 months to ''fall in love'' with
my first baby). What you are feeling is completely normal, just
that no one ever talks about it!
I had to supplement w/formula due to lack of sufficient milk
supply (had previous breast reduction surgery). With both my
babies, I waited at least 6 weeks before introducing a bottle
and that seemed to be a good time. Doctor recommended this, and
it worked well. The baby was used to breastfeeding by then, so
went from breast to bottle without much of a problem. It was a
long, difficult 6 weeks both times (the first was the hardest
though) especially since I had to use an SNS - a contraption
with a tube that I had to tape to my breast so the baby got
additional formula along with my milk. But the wait was
worthwhile. I came to enjoy nursing baby, especially when I was
not so tired. Another thing that helped was I would sleep with
baby and nurse while laying down at night, so at least I could
rest.
I used Advent bottles (and still do for my 1.5 yr. old). They
are supposedly good for the breast-bottle transition. I have
always been happy with these, and never felt the need to try
anything else.
Good luck to you, and remember, it does get eaisier. Try not to
put too much pressure on yourself to be supermom, and most of
all, follow your instincts. The best thing I did was to not read
too many books. Some other new moms I know read so many books
and were so ''confused'' about what they were supposed to do, that
they became depressed and distracted so didn't get to enjoy just
having a baby in their arms.
Based on what I've read, and my own experience, you can start
pumping when your milk supply is ''well-established''. For me,
this meant when my baby was almost 2 mos. old. I pumped prior
to that, but didn't get very much milk (and I use one of the
best pumps--the Medela Pump in Style). I stopped pumping when
she was 4 to 7 weeks old (for reasons I explain below) and
found that when I started again, voila--I was getting much more
milk.&nbs! p; So if you start pumping now and find you are not getting
very much, stop for a few days and then try again. AT this
age, your baby should probably be eating two to three ounces
per meal.
As for when your baby can take a bottle, it is when breast
feeding is ''well-established''. Again, this is different for
every mom and baby. I will tell you my tale: our baby took a
bottle of formula at 2 and 3 days old because she had lost too
much weight before my milk came in. At that tender age, she
went back and forth between the bottle and breast just fine.
So I pumped when she was 2 to 4 weeks old so my husband could
give her a bottle/day. She continued to go between breast and
bottle fine. Then, we stopped giving her a bottle at about 4
or 5 weeks of age because she seemed to have become a lazy
latcher on the breast. When the issue did not cure itself
after three weeks w/o a bottle, I saw a lactation consultant
who helped me fix the problem, which turned out NOT to be
related to bottles. So I promptly started pumping again
once/day (and was getting far m! ore milk than earlier) but then,
our daughter refuesed the bottle! She did take it from my aunt
(whom she had never met before), but would not take it from my
husband or me. We finally tricked her by having her sit in a
bouncy seat facing Baby Mozart DVD and reached around from
behind her and stuck bottle in her mouth. This worked well
enough and in a short time, we could feed her the bottle in her
bouncy chair regardless of whether she could see us or not.
However, she still wouldn't take it from us in our lap. To
spare you the rest of the details, our baby is now almost 4
mos. old and has regressed a bit on the bottle and now acts as
if she doesn't know how to suck the milk from it. So my advice
to you is to give your baby a bottle now (assuming you are
having no latching problems w/ the breast) and if she goes back
and forth between the bottle and breast okay for a couple/three
days, t! hen keep at it--don't stop using the bottle (at least a
couple times/week), lest your baby be like ours and
refuse/forget how to use it.
The Avent bottles with the newborn nipple work for many babies,
as does the Dr. Brown bottles.
As for how much pumping and when: most women produce the most
milk in the wee hours, like from 1 to 5 a.m., so pumping in the
morning is good. Pump mid-way between feedings. And if you
want to give only one bottle a day, you need to only pump
once/day (assuming you pump enough for a feeding).
Hang in there--things WILL get better! Best of luck.
I was told that I could begin bottle feeding at 4-6 weeks. In
fact, assuming no problem with latch-on, etc., earlier is better
because if the bottle is introduced later, it may take more work
on your part before it is accepted. With my daughter, I waited
for 4 months to introduce the bottle, and it was a lot of work.
But with my son, we introduced at 5 weeks and it was as easy as
pie. Also, it is a good idea to start pumping early because
your milk production will probably become more regulated and
less abundant later on. If you start now, you should have no
problem feeding and then pumping the extra. I never turned over
a regular feeding to my husband, but I had a huge supply for
nights out, a short trip away at 7 months, and my return to
work. On the sleep depriv! ation, all I can say is that it passes
sooner than you think. In a few months your baby will be able
to sleep longer stretches. For now, sleep when the baby sleeps
and start exercising as soon as your doctor okays it (that
really helps improve your mood, even when sleep is lacking).
The sleep deprivation is horrible and i felt exactly like you.
I did not feel like the first three weeks (or even months for
that matter) was blissful at all. In fact i remember wishing
someone would just come and take my baby away for a few hours so
I could just sleep. In some ways it was really terrible and I
wondered if I would ever make it through the first year. The
absolute best thing I did was join a Mom's group (or 2 or 3!!)
because i met other Mom's going through the exact same thing. I
didn't manage to do this u! ntil our baby was six weeks old
though...that's how long it took me to feel good enough to get
out and do something productive. So don't worry...what you are
feeling is totally normal (and don't forget nursing takes up a
ton of energy so not only are you sleep deprived your body is
exhausted from nursing!). Unfortunately from what i understand
you should wait till the baby is between 4 - 6 weeeks before
introducing the bottle so breast feeding will be well
established. But like everything each baby is different. We
did finally introduce the bottle at around six weeks so my
husband could do one feeding at night. We used the Avent
system...bottles and pump. The pump we used was the Avent Isis
hand pump which I thought was great. I haven't used any
automatic pumps so can't comment on them. I would try to pump
one bottle a day so he could have the bottle at night. The only
other thing I can say again is what you are experiencing is
normal and I've been through it. It does get better...really it
does, so hang in there. And in the meantime if you can get any
help at all...hire a sitter/cleaner etc, get a
grandparent/aunt/friend to help cook meals do the laundry etc
then go for it. Or, if possible, after your husband gets home
and has a chance to unwind from work, or on the weekends, try
and get a break somehow...even if it is just to lie down for a
few hours knowing your husband will bring the baby when it is
time to nurse again (not just because the baby is crying and
needs a cuddle or a diaper change!). Good luck and hang in there.
3 weeks is the perfect time to start a daily bottle if
breastfeeding and growth are going well. Pump in the morning
(before you feed the baby) when you have lots of milk. Drink
extra fluids, eat well, rest well because you'll be trying to
increase milk production a bit. Keep the bottle in the fridge,
warm it by putting the bottle into a bowl of hot water (test it
on your arm first), give it to the baby at night. Type of
nipple doesn't matter. Good type pumps are Medela Pumpinstyle,
ameda's purely yours and avent isis manual.
Try to nap whenever possible and learn to breastfeed lying down
so that when baby nurses at night you can doze or even go back
to sleep. Good luck and hang in there! You should start feeling
better but if you don't, go see your doctor and make sure you
don't have postpartum depression.
You will get LOTS of feedback on this one! First, everything
you are feeling is normal and WILL GET BETTER. Survive the
first six weeks and you will see your life start to improve.
You might want to join a mom's support group or start calling a
girlfriend to get reassurance that you will live through this
and that you are not the only one to feel these things. Second,
with both of my kids, the first day I pumped was liberation
day. Do it! My postpartum blues dissipated when I watched my
husband feed the baby. I had the best luck with Nuk Newborn
nipples but babies have individual tastes about nipples so try a
few. My advice is to invest in a really good pump, if you can.
A cheap one will make your pumping experience unpleasant. I
just pumped whenever I had a free minute to do so. Drink a ton
of w! ater, eat something and pump away, even if you just nursed.
It is hard to find to time with a newborn so do it whenever you
have a sec. Get a good book. I recommend Operating
Instructions by Anne Lamott so while you are pumping you will be
reminded that things could be worse!!! Good luck.
First of all - it will get better, I swear. I am now the fairly
well-rested parent of a 5-month old who only gets up once a
night, but who was a 3-week old who nursed every 45 minutes to
an hour and half. It was a rare two hours that went by without
a feeding. Anyway, IMHO, start pumping and giving that bottle
now! My husband started giving our son a bottle once a night
and he continued to be a great nurser at all other times. In
fact, once he started sleeping longer, we discontinued the
nighttime bottl! e feeding and now he refuses to drink from the
bottle! one a day is fine...
First let me tell you something you will more than likely hear
from many, many people - the lack of sleep with a newborn is
nearly devastating, and so shocking it is enough to make you
feel crazy. So, your feelings are normal. That said, just hang
in there. Life will get better. You can pump, but know that
you'll probably still wake when your partner does the feeding.
Your milk may let down or you may just have a natural curiosity
about the baby's well being. Are you getting out of bed for
each feeding or just bringing the baby in with you? Even if you
do not want to have a family bed, this is easiest and most
restful for you when the baby's a newborn. And then when you're
ready for them to sleep elsewhere, they will. Also, let things
go around the house and sleep when the baby does - day or
night. This was incred! ibly hard for me to do but when I finally
did, I began to feel better. As hard as it is to believe, you
will remember this as a precious time with your little one.
There are many days I wish I had my newborn back - and I never
thought I'd say that. Best of luck and a warm
congratulations.
Your baby should start sleeping for 3-4 hour stretches soon. It
does get better. Best not to introduce bottles until 6 weeks or
later. Pumping can be just as demading, anyway. At 3 weeks, your
baby is going through a growth spurt. Wait a couple days -- you
might be surprized!
Hi-
I'm sure you will get many responses regarding bottles but I
too was in the same situation as you after my baby was born
last year. It was extremely important to have my husband feed
my daughter a bottle of my expressed milk because not only was
I so tired but also I was starting a consulting job and needed
to attend meetings which meant my daughter would be with my
sister or husband and therefore would need to accept a
bottle. Both my husband and I were in agreement about
introducing a bottle early on and we did so at three weeks. My
husband was the one who introduced the bottle and at first my
daughter refused profusely. I have to give my husband credit
because he endured. He kept trying and trying every night for
approximately 30-40 minutes. It was difficult because she cried
and we both felt terrible but it was something we needed to do
so we kept at it. He walked around with! her in his arms facing
out and talked to her, sang to her and all along kept trying to
put the bottle in her mouth. Finally after about three days of
trying and her crying she began to drink from it. From that
point on my husband put my daughter to sleep with a bottle
every night. It worked well for us because he bonded with his
daughter and he really enjoyed spending that special time with
her before she went to sleep. It also provided me with a
little time to myself and a much needed rest.
Good luck to you I hope this advice helps a bit.
Oh dear, I feel for you. I was in your shoes just a few short
months ago -- don't worry, the rule right now is CHANGE and
before you know it you and your baby will be in a whole new
stage.
You should start giving your baby bottle at least once a day
NOW. I cannot emphasize this enough-- I have many girlfriends
with babies who end up refusing the bottle because they waited
too long to introduce it or were not consistent in giving it
EVERY DAY. Babies who are introduced to the bottle later may
refuse, but at 3 weeks are usually pretty accepting. If you
stop the bottle for a week while on vacation, don't be
surprised if your baby refuses the bottle when you come back,
never to take one again. I don't mean to be over-dramatic, but
having a baby who does not take a bottle means you do not get a
break as long as you are nursing... so it's worth it to make
sure your baby learns.
You will probably get lots of advice about bottles and nipples,
and the variety out there is mind-numbing, but I recommend the
Playtex nurser system. We started out with Avent bottles
because they seem to be the ''in'' thing these days, but we
disliked them because they are so thick it takes a LONG time to
warm a bottle up if you're warming stored breastmilk (I guess
if you're doing formula you can just add warm water). Five
minutes in a warm water bath is a long time to wait if you're
dealing with a screaming, hungry baby. We switched to the
Playtex nurser system with the ''drop in'' disposable plastic
bags and have found them to be incredibly easy -- no bottle to
wash, and the bags are so thin that they heat in about 40
seconds when placed in a hot water bath. You can buy
a ''starter kit'' which comes with about 6 different types of
nipples as well as the 4 and 8 ounce bottles and bags, and
experiment with which nipple works best for your baby. Our
baby was not picky about the nipple, but we found the silicone
slow nipples to be our favorite.
Okay, the basic scoop on pumping and bottles is below. (In
fact, I think I'm going to have to do this in parts, because it
got long.) But first, I've gotta tell you something you aren't
going to like: Bottles are probably not the solution to your
craziness. They might or might not help with sleep deprivation;
chances are, most of the time you'll wake up when the baby is
hungry anyway. If your natural attunement to the baby doesn't
wake you, your husband fumbling around probably will. And
although some babies seem to sleep a bit longer after a bottle
than they do after nursing, others have a much harder time
sleeping because the bottle causes gas! When the baby is so
young, failing to either nurse or pump around the clock could
compromise your milk supply, so it's best if you don't do it too
o! ften -- and when you do skip a night feeding, you're likely to
get uncomfortably engorged. Plus, pumping is work. So is
washing and preparing bottles. It takes time and effort you
don't have to spare right now. And a lot of what you're feeling
is hormonal stuff that isn't directly related to sleep
deprivation anyway. That said, some parents do find that
splitting the night into shifts - Mom goes to bed early, Mom
sleeps through first night feeding while Dad gives a bottle, Dad
goes to bed late, Mom wakes for next night feeding - helps a lot
with a baby who still isn't sleeping at least a 4-5 hour stretch
after the first month or so. It's worth a try. But learning to
nurse side-lying so you can just take the baby to bed with you
and doze while he (she? your message didn't say) eats may be a
more effective solution.
I had exactly the! same experience you've described with my first
child. Everyone around me, including her father, was insisting
that breast feeding was the very best thing to do for my
baby....meanwhile, I was exhausted from no sleep at night, I
felt sick during the day, and felt nearly incapable of making my
own decision. Long story short, I finally just switched her to
a bottle when she was about 4-weeks-old. I was able to sleep at
night (more or less), and better able to enjoy the experience of
having a new baby. My daughter certainly didn't suffer from it!
And I felt human again. Do what is right for YOU! You and your
baby will both be glad for it.
I can totally relate to how you're feeling! I went through the
same thing. In my case, I waited too long to start with the
bottle and my son NEVER took a bottle. It was very frustrating
and! made for a diffucult time for me for the first 5 months when
he seemed to want to eat endlessly. Unfortunately, I don't have
advice about types of bottles, etc., but I will tell you that
you need to start the bottle at least once a day RIGHT AWAY!
Many lactation experts will tell you to wait (as they told me),
so that the baby won't have nipple confusion (whatever), but
because I waited, I missed the opportunity. I wish you the best
of luck and, don't worry, it does get better!
Wish I'd started sooner
I think you can start now, if your milk supply is good. I found
that the Avent Isis manual pump was the easiest to set up and
use, but everyone's experience is different. Pumping can
actually help prolong the breastfeeding experience by making it
easier on the mom. I have a friend who was able to breastfeed
her first child for 6 weeks only, because she was ! told not to
pump, and she found nursing really tiresome (I know it's heresy,
but I did too, frankly). With her second, she started pumping
almost immediately and 8 months later, she's still giving her
baby breastmilk (while holding down a full-time job). It
depends on the mom, but it can be easier to pump - you know what
the baby is consuming, the father (and others) can help out.
We had an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (the
''official best'' kind) come visit us when my son was two weeks old.
She contradicted a lot of stuff that is on most web sites (including La
Leche League), but absolutely everything she said was right on.
She said that she recommends starting bottles at 2 weeks, as long as
you do only one or two a day, and use Avent bottles/nipples.
What my husband and I did was I pumped at bedtime, he took care of
the baby from 8:00 pm - 2:00 am, and I took the 2:00 am to 8:00 am
shift.
Not a huge amount of uninterrupted sleep, but much better than I had
been getting.
Starting the bottle actually helped my son, who had trouble learning to
nurse, to do a much better, more efficient job (went from taking 45
minutes to nurse to doing it in 15 minutes).
You dear person -- I was where you were 7 weeks ago. And it
was so very very grim. Hang in there. Everyone said it would
get better -- which annoyed me and gave a glimmer of hope. And
it was true. But it didn't change how grim it felt at the time.
I had twins and both babies use different nipples. The
Avent ''0'' nipple (the newborn nipple) worked for one baby but
was too fast a flow for the other baby. For him I used the
Gerber Nuk Orthodontia nipple (which the lactation consultant I
used preferred). There are two ''speeds'' for 0-6 months: slow
flow and medium flow. The slow flow were easier for us to find
at Albertsons/Longs/Target etc. The medium flow we only found
at Rockridge Kids.
We had purchased Avent before their birth and then had to just
try out which other nipples were going to work best.
Also, we found that it has been a real benefit for everyone for
my partner to feed the babies as well.
first of all - you are not alone! Having a new baby to care for, trying
to care for yourself and keeping everyday life together
after the birth of a baby is extremely hard. I went through the same
exact thing 3.5 years ago when my first son was born
(and at the time, my experience with sleep deprivation was so horrible,
I never wanted to have another child again. Now I
have another baby, and it's much easier...) You're right, there is a
lot of advise out there - on the one end there are lots
and lots of hard-core doulas and lactation consultants that want to be
supportive, and on the other end mother-in-laws
who swear by formula. I chose to pump and bottle feed my son and I can
tell you all about it. I would pump every 3 hours
in the day time and then twice/night in the very beginning. after ahile
I would only pump once/night (when the baby was
around 6 months or so). You can buy a used medela pump-in-style for around $75.00-100.00, and
it works fine. You can
also rent a hospital grade medela breast pump, which is more effective
but is too large for travel.
I could go on and on - please feel free to contact me - I would really
love to tak with you if you are interested. I wish I would
have had someone to give me useful advice when I was desperate for
sleep. When you're this tired, it's just too hard
sorting through heaps of info.
I would suggest trying to pump and feed with the bottle right away. We
waited too long (our daughter is 4months old now) and she refuses the
bottle. She knows the difference between the bottle and the ''real''
thing!
And the sleep deprivation gets much better... along with the rewards of
parenthood. Hang in there!
Hi! Sorry you are having a tough time right now, though it does
get better! My baby used to nurse every two hours, 45 min at a
time, so I can relate. He was also very gassy and in pain in the
early weeks, so we tried a couple of different bottles. Avent
didn't initially work as well (does now), and Playtex with the
drop in liners worked well. Not a lot of cleaning too!
Due to problems with breastfeeding, we had to do quite a bit of
bottle feeding for the first month of our baby's life. All in
all, I think getting her used to a bottle was an excellent
thing since she now has no problems taking them. We just pump
extra in the morning and store that for her late night
feeding. One bottle a day definitely did not cause her to lose
her ability to suck from a breast nor did it make her ''lazy.''
We use the Avent newborn nipples (even now at 3.5 mos.) but it
seems that certain babies prefer certain nipples, so if those
don't work, try other ones. Good luck!
I think this is just about the right time to introduce a
bottle. As long as breastfeeding is going well, your latch is
good, etc. you can go ahead and try a bottle. Its good! to get
the little one comfortable with the idea so that they have no
problem accepting it. I think we did it at about 4 weeks. Our
guy liked the Dr. Browns set-up, but they are all different.
As for pumping for the nightly feeding, it never really worked
for us because when my husband would feed him a bottle, I'd
have to get up and pump anyways or my breasts threatened to
explode. However, I know it has and can worked for many
people.
As to your other question-how to survive-here are a couple of
my quick points of advice (as a mama of a 5 month old):
1-This too shall pass. Remember that and perhaps adopt it as a
mantra. By 6 weeks your baby will probably get the whole
night/day thing down, and start sleeping in longer chunks. All
of the sudden it will be 1/2 a year later and you will have
virtually no memory of this time.
2-Get out of the house. Sounds counterintuitive, but I found
that even if I had only slept for an hour, a walk and fresh air
really helped my mental heath.
3-Get help. Can Mom or friends bring food? Can you hire a
housecleaner for a couple months? If not, get takeout and eat
on paper plates. Do laundry only, make hubby pick up around
the house and thats it for now.
4-Limit visitors. They always come when the baby is sleeping,
keep you awake, then leave just as baby is waking up. I! f you
can't keep them away, feel free to say ''it was so great to see
you but I have to go lay down''.
5-When the baby is sleeping, at least lay down. I had trouble
with napping during the day, but you must force yourself to at
least lay down while the baby sleeps. Give up TV, movies,
books and anything else for a while. Lay down.
6-Nurse in bed or find some other way to sleep and nurse at the
same time. If you are a family bedder, you know how to do
this, but if not, and I'm not, find some way to be able to
scoop the baby up, nurse and be back asleep in seconds. I
spent many nights asleep in the glider with baby in my arms on
the Boppy. A Co-sleeper would be even better. This will
really help! Either that or get dad to get up, get baby,
change if needed and deliver to you for nursing.
Sometimes if I was so tired I was going to cry, my husband
would go sleep with the baby ! in another room so that I could
get really solid sleep without constantly hearing/looking at
the baby right next to me.
7-Sometime in the next few weeks, join a mom's group.
Comisseration does wonders for the psyche somehow and the
support is really, really crucial.
This is a wild time, but one that in retrospect you will
cherish as a sleepy, tender time with your baby. Your baby
will never be this little again-hold her (or him), smell her,
kiss her and do all of this laying down in the ready to sleep
position. Good luck to you-and remember this too shall pass!
I also had a baby recently (2 weeks ago) and went through a
couple of extremely difficult nights of nursing. My problem
was that my daughter did not seem to be satisfied and appeared
to be constantly hungry. This left me exhausted, and overcome
with a complete sense of helplessness. When I discussed this
with our pediatrician she suggested supplementing with formula
through the night, which is what i am now doing, and it has
made a tremendous difference.
So, long story short, my daughter has been doing fine receiving
both the breast and the bottle. It is better for you to give
your child a bottle and get adequate rest then be unhappy and
discouraged with your experience. Additionally, without enough
rest you stand the chance of depleting your milk supply. You
can discuss this with your pediatrician, but I can attest that
I am not having any problems with providing both.
I feel your pain. I am a lactation consultant and still I
struggled with the same issue. I have 3 boys all older now but I
was sleep deprived for the better part of 7 years because none
of my boys would sleep more than 3 hours at a time. A few words
of caution. Babies use different muscles in their mouths to
bottle feed and breastfeed. It is easier for them to 'latch on'
to a bottle nipple than a mother's nipple. E! ven if your baby is
already breastfeeding you run the risk of them refusing the
breast when then realize how easy it is to suckle from a bottle.
It doesn't take long. All new moms are sleep deprived (it comes
with the territory), that being said your physical and mental
health is important, if you feel that the sleep deprivation is
in any way making it difficult for you to care for your baby
during the day, then you may have to take that chance. If you
choose to bottle feed here are a few suggestions: Have your
husband feed the baby in another room. If the baby is in the
same room as you they may not take to a bottle because they can
smell you and they may prefer the warmth that comes from being
close to you while nursing. As far as bottle types go, I had to
use three different types of bottles (a different one for each
child). Some babies will take any nipple, mine were very
finicky. It was a matter of trial and error. I! bought the one
that I thought would be best (I choose playtex nursers because I
was able to squeeze out the excess air) and if they didn't take
to it I bought another brand until eventually I found the one
that they would take. I've already written way more than I
planned. Please feel free to contact me directly if you'd like
more details. Good Luck and know that one day you'll wake up
feeling fully rested, your baby will be sleeping through the
night. This too shall pass.
Hello (and congratulations!) tired mom,
I can definitely relate to your exhaustion and frustration! I have a
six week old and my husband and I started feeding our little girl bottles
with expressed milk when she was three and a half weeks old. She had
already established a good latch on to the breast-- so we were told to
go ahead and start with the bottles around 3-4 weeks. I've been warned
about nipple confusion, but also told by numerous friends not to wait
beyond 4 weeks to start with the bottle or the baby might not take it.
Anyway-- our baby hasn't experienced nipple confusion at all and my
husband takes her every morning around 7:30 and gives her a feeding
or two to allow me some uninterrupted sleep and a shower. We've been
using Avent (''naturally'') bottles and nipples that are designed for
different ages. My sister recommened them after using them sucessfully
with her son, and we've been happy with them. (They seem to protect
against the baby sucking a lot of air.)
And as far as pumping is concerned-- I usually pump sometime while
my husband is feeding the baby in the morning (using the Medela
system--which is great). If you want to skip a night feeding-- I'd
suggest pumping before you go to bed to prevent waking up engorged.
If you want any more detailed advice, I'd be happy to talk to you about
it.
March 2007
My baby is one month and I am trying to introduce a bottle with
breast milk in it. She happily sucks on the bottle but she is
unable to get any milk out. I am using Avent bottles with the 1
month nipple on it. Any suggestions?
new mom
Maybe the hole in the nipple needs to be made bigger. I've had
to do that in the past with the baby I helped raised. It was
taking her too long to get just a couple of ounces into her. The
bigger hole made a wonderful difference. Start by making the
hole a little bigger and go from there.
Randy Jane Reitzes, LVN, CMT, CCHH
I had a similar problem with my baby... try a variety of
bottles, it may take sometime (weeks or more) before your baby
gets the hang of it. The breastflow bottle from The First Years
company (sold at Babys R Us) worked well for me. (email me if
you want mine, i no longer need them)
margaret
My adopted son was bottle fed from birth. The silicone in Avent
nipples was too thick or stiff or something, and he never could
get the milk to flow easily. We've had good luck with the Playtex
''drop-in'' silicone nipples and bottle, so maybe try those. You
can always decant the milk from the Avent bottles if that's the
kind of pump you have.
bottle-feeding mama
Get the Avent nipples with more holes. Your baby is less likely
to take a bottle if it's a chore. If at 4-weeks she's a good
nurser, chances are that she won't suddenly prefer a bottle to
you, even it if is easier to get milk out.
anon
my lactation consultant only recommends Playtex Premium nurser
drop-ins for young EBF babies. I just bought one today so
can't tell you how it will work with my 6 week old yet! my LC
is an old hippie, was mid wife, now LC, and just knows
everything...OK, not everything, but she is wise, experienced,
and thoughtful.
swear by my LC
Dec 2004
Following the advice of every doctor and baby book out there, I
have exclusively breastfed my baby from the day he was born. He
is now 11 weeks old and I want him to start taking the bottle so
that I can return to work. I've tried a number of times but
each time, he spits out the bottle nipple and cries when I try
to put it back into his mouth. It is still filled with
breastmilk so I don't think it's a taste issue. I've tried both
Medela and Dr. Brown bottles without success. Is there a trick
to getting him to feed from a bottle? Help!
Hi: My son is 4 months old, we started him on the bottle after
he was 3 weeks old(w/ breast milk only). The nipple that worked
for him was the Playtex easy latch. But still, the only that he
will take the bottle from is my husband and the baby sitter. It
is very strefful because there are nights I want to sleep, but
he will not take the bottle from my husband if I am in the
house!! It is amazing how smart they are. Good Luck
Have you tasted your milk? it must taste sweet and fresh. mine
was going bad (metallic soapy taste) so fast due to lipase that
my daughter wouldn't take the bottle. when i realized this was
the problem i began briefly heating my milk in the mw until tiny
bubbles form at the surface (la leche league directions), then I
could store it in the fridge or freeze it. my daughter then
happily took the bottle
[Editor note: see Gross tasting frozen breastmilk
March 2004
My partner has started pumping so we can start our 11 week old
daughter taking a bottle in preparation for her going back to
work. The first time she took the bottle like a champ at about 8
weeks, but ever since then she has been pretty resistant to it.
She at best just does nothing when I put the nipple in her mouth
and more likely cries and cries. We have tried many things and
are looking for suggestions. The only thing that has worked
once was when my pertner slipped the bottle in after she had
been breastfeeding a few minutes. Thanks
We didn't have a problem with either of our two young sons and
sadly I think it was because we started them on a bottle (by
necessity and against all ''professional'' advice) at only a
couple of days old. We had no problems with nipple confusion.
But since you can't turn back time I can tell you what else we
do. We use the nipples with the wide base since these more
closely match the shape of the breast. At first my husband fed
the bottles and so the babies didn't smell or see me and so the
breast was not an option. We would feed them from the bottle
when they were hungry but not desperately hungry. I think that
if your method of feeding from the breast and then switching to
the bottle is working to help your daughter make the transition
then do it and slowly give her less and less time on the breast
before switching her to the bottle. Good Luck.
Suzie
Jan 2005
Hi
My 11 week old girl refuses to take a bottle of expressed
milk. I have been trying to get her to take the bottle since 6
weeks and we're actually regressing instead of making
progress! I've tried Avent bottles, Dr. Brown's, Playtex
original nurser, Nuk, and really small Gerber nipples. She
would take the milk from Dr. Brown's if I gave it to her asleep
but that doesn't even work anymore. We've tried heating up the
nipple, having my husband, mom, neighbor, give her the bottle,
we've tried when she's hungry, when she's not hungry, and
NOTHING is working. I have to go back to work in 4 weeks and am
really stressing out about this. Any other ideas???? I'm open
to trying anything!
Thanks so much, I keep kicking myself thinking I should have
tried the bottle on her earlier!
Stephanie
It is very common for breast fed babies to refuse a bottle.
There are other options besides a bottle that you can consider.
Even an infant can be fed from a small cup, an eye dropper, a
spoon, a syringe, etc. These other methods will also be less
likely to cause nipple confusion like a bottle or pacifier
would. If you would like more help consider attending a LLL
meeting or calling a Leader. Good Luck!
Melissa
Our baby was reluctant to take a bottle. When I tasted the
milk I realized why. It tasted horrible! It was soapy,
metallic, and rancid tasting- not merely sour. It turned out
that I was producing too much of the enzyme lipase and the
lipase was digesting the milk and turning it bad within a few
hours of pumping even if it was refrigerated or frozen right
away. If this turns out to be the case, you can deactivate the
lipase by scalding the milk right after pumping- either by
heating it in a saucepan until tiny bubbles form at the edge of
the pan, or in an Avent bottle warmer on the high setting for
about 20 minutes. For some reason the Avent model doesn't have
an automatic shutoff mechanism and you can heat the milk to
about 175 degrees. This is really handy if you need to pump at
work or somewhere where you don't have access to a stove.
Sandra
this is a tough one, we faced it as well. we got advice to try
a sippy cup or a dropper, neither of which worked for us but
worked for others we know. our only success was in trying over
and over again, in different areas of teh house and in
different situations (the bouncy seat ended up being the
ticket). i know it sounds awful, but if she gets hungry
enough, she will take a bottle. it just happened to us again
last week when she didn't nurse all day because of too many
distractions and i had to leave for a few hours...she got
hungry while i was gone and took four ounces from my husband
out of the bottle, a minor miracle in our house. hang in
there, she will sort it out.
anon
We had this same problem last year when our daughter was 8 weeks
old - my husband had to feed her with a medicine dropper to get
her to drink her milk... finally after about a week and a half,
she got the hang of the bottle, once he noticed that she was
sucking the milk from the dropper. I hope that helps! Good
luck!!!!!!
Heather
I recently read a lot of postings from about a month ago (about
Nov 2004) about how hard it can often be to get 3 and 4 month
old breastfed babies to drink from bottles. It didn't even
seem to matter whether or not the babies had been given bottles
earlier or not (i.e., there were many stories about babies who
had had happily had several bottles or more a week still
rejected it at about 3 or 4 months!). I, too, was panicking
and reading the current and archived advice in November because
my usually very happy 3.5 to 4 month old, who had earlier taken
bottles about once a week, rejected the bottle with wild cries.
Now my son is 6 months old and taking a bottle easily, without
even much effort on my part. My so-called ''tactic'' involved
simply waiting until he was 5 months old. At this age, he
became intensely interested in objects in the world around him,
and he could grab on to the bottle himself (with a caregiver
still holding the bottle up for him). It seems that his
curiousity got the better of him and at 5 months he could deal
with the bottle while at 3 and 4 months he wanted nothing to do
with it. Of course, I am extremely lucky in that my work
schedule was very flexible and I could take him (and my au
pair) to work with me during the 4 to 6 weeks that I had to
wait. We tried the bottle again the week before I had to be in
San Francisco for a meeting every day for a week, and he seemed
to be ready and interested in it. So, there's lots of good
advice in November newletters and on the archive and things to
try and not to try. I just wanted to add my experience to all
the varied stories that I didn't do anything at all but manage
to wait another month. And to add that you shouldn't guilt-
trip yourself for not practicing the bottle thing earlier; it's
possible that it *might* not have made a difference for what's
going on for you right now.
been there and survived
You didn't mention if this is your first baby or not, so what I
am suggesting could be difficult or very difficult, depending
on your comfort level. My 2nd born would NOT take a bottle.
PERIOD. So when it was time for me to go back to work, I
called my pediatrician (Dr. Philip Rush) and asked what I
should do. His response was that if/when she was hungry
ENOUGH, she would take the bottle -- otherwise, she would
wait until I got home. Sure enough, I kept pumping at work,
and she would wait -- sometimes 6 hours or so, until I got
home. She finally got the idea, but it was a long time. She
took from a Playtex sippy cup (the kind with the valve) after a
while, but never took any type of bottle. It was stressful for
me at first, but I finally realized that the Dr. was right -- she
didn't starve. In fact, she sure appreciated when I got home!
It helped that my mom was the one with her, because it was
stressful for me. Good luck!
Trish
For my daughter, the trick was making sure she was already calm
and reasonably contented each time we gave her a bottle. That is,
she had to be rested, not too hungry, warm enough, etc. If she
was already even a little upset, she would reject the bottle.
After several weeks she would take the bottle under almost any
circumstances.
Anon.
we had some nursing problems with our second child and were
tauaght a number of things which might possibly be helpful to
someone in your situation:
to get the baby used to getting breast milk from a source other
than a breast, we first tried using a small tube taped onto a
finger (not ''mommy's finger'') through which milk could be
expressed.
this got the baby used to getting milk from a different source,
and he was already comfortable sucking on a finger. we moved
from there to bottled breast milk without too much trouble. in
our case, because our baby had some physical problems, we used a
nipple that had a faster flow than might otherwise have been
used for a child his age. this doesn't sound necessary for you.
if you want to try the tube-on-finger route, most lactation
consultants, and many dulas, can help you get started. the tube
and bag can also be affixed to the caregivers body in such a way
that a nursing position can be achieved for the baby, but that
may backfire. as a previous poster said, it's good for the baby
to know ''mommy=nursing, everybody else= bottle (or tube)''
t. adams
My second child also refused to take a bottle as an infant.
This caused me a lot of anxiety as the time approached for me to
return to work. Like you, I tried many different strategies --
leaving the room while my husband gave the bottle, trying
different nipples, putting juice on the nipple. Nothing
worked. Except hunger. After I went back to work, my baby boy
just had the nanny and the bottle. No bottle, no food. He
wasn't dumb -- babies get pretty hungry and he figured out
pretty quickly that the bottle was the only way to go. It was
not the way I'd wanted it, but it was the hand I was dealt and
my son is now very happy and healthy. By the way, he preferred
me to the bottle right up until about 9 months of age, when he
suddenly self-weaned.
Ann
Dec 2006
My son is 3 months old and breast fed. We introduced him to a
periodic bottle of breast milk starting at 6 weeks old and
everything was fine until about 1 week ago when he suddenly
decided that he didn't like the bottle from me or my husband.
I have switched nipples with no luck. It was suggested that I
try a different bottle altogether. I would welcome input from
anyone who has gone through this and overcome it. I am
returning to work at the end of January and I am stressed that
he will cry all day at day care refusing the bottle
amf
we went through exactly the same thing a couple of months ago.
it was a battle for my daughter to learn to suck from the bottle's
nipple, and we tried many kinds! we just had to keep trying, and
usually my husband was a bit more successful than i was (maybe because
she smelled me and expected the breast?). i know it's hard, but be
persistent. i was worried she wouldn't eat at daycare, but she did just
fine. i think that with the practice, they'll do ok, especially if
they're hungry!
good luck!
new mama
I wouldn't worry too much, and I wouldn't bother with trying a different
bottle if he was taking the other kind before. It's pretty typical for
children to reject the bottle for a little while around 3 months, but if
you keep offering it, they will get used to it again.
It's so hard, I know! I started giving my son one bottle of pumped milk
a day from the time he was a few weeks old because I wanted to prepare
him for when I had to go back to work at 3 months. He took it like a
pro right from the beginning and was perfectly happy with it every day,
right up till a week before I went back to work. (Just about 3 months
old). Then he started refusing it and fussing every time we offered it.
I was very stressed because I didn't have a choice about going back to
work.
He had some trouble the first week I was back, but while I was at work,
his caregivers kept offering it, and he drank some milk each day for the
first week (not as much as I would have liked), and over the next few
weeks he got less fussy and drank more.
So, if you can think of this as normal development where he has started
to be more discriminating and is expressing a preference for the breast,
it might make you feel better. AND knowing that he won't starve while
you're at work, and especially if he took the bottle before, he'll take
it again if you and his care givers are patient.
Good luck. I know how hard it is to go back to work. It's nice that
you still have a little time--keep offering the bottle every day, but
don't stress too much if he doesn't take it.
Been in your shoes!
We went through the same thing with our son when I went back to work
(granted he was a little bit older). First, read the archives on the
parents network, there was some helpfully info there. What ended up
working for us was not using a nipple bottle at all, but instead using
the Avent soft sippy cup inserts you can use on their bottles. They have
them for 3 month olds. What we did as well is cut a very small wedge out
of the rubber stopper that snaps on to the sippy cup insert so that the
milk would flow a little faster. Also sometimes putting a little formula
in it helped as if it was just breast milk it didn't seem right to him
that it wasn't coming out of a breast. When he first started day care
they actually would spoon feed him milk at first but then he got into
the groove of using the avent sippy cups.
hang in there!
We dealt with exactly the same thing except that it sounds like you were
better about the bottle in the beginning than I was.
We basically did bottle-training boot camp before I went back to work at
3 mos. and it wasn't what I'd call fun, but she did get it and was fine
after that. The trying different bottles/ nipples is good advice: My
daughter transitioned with the playtex nipple (I think it's bigger and
softer than some
others) and then we switched to the Avent once she was really good. I
also ordered this expensive (`$18) ''breast-bottle'' off the web which
is designed to look and feel more like a breast.
My babies were not impressed, but maybe yours would like it.
Another friend of mine said she pumped and left the house for the day
and her husband got their baby to take the bottle.
Sometimes they won't take it from mom but will take it from dad or
someone else.
Good luck!
Naomi
March 2006
Hello! I'm currently experiencing a difficult situation and
wondered if anyone has advice. I currently breastfeed my baby
girl. When I leave to work for a few hours or to take a class or
just get out...I leave a bottle or two of pumped milk with her
and her dad. She did fine the first three or four times but
since then has refused to drink from a bottle.
Any ideas? Should I change the bottle type? Nipple type?
Keep trying until she gets it?
I don't leave too long so she's not starving but...she goes a
good 2 or 3 hours sometimes without drinking. And I'd rather she
did.
Thanks!
I could have written your post about 1 month ago. We gave our daughter a
bottle of pumped milk with no problems starting at one month. But, we
were only doing it about once a week. Well, I guess that was too
infrequent and one day she just refused to take the bottle. I was really
upset about this as I envisioned no time away from her for the next 10
months or so until she was weaned. My goal was to get her in the habit
of taking a bottle every day and then once that was established just
taking a bottle as needed (but at least every other day so at least she
wouldn't get out the habit again.)
Well, here are the things that worked for us - 1) I fed her a bottle
first thing in the morning when she was hungry and half asleep. I did
this for a few days - to a week,
just trying to establish the bottle habit. She would take the bottle
this way, but
only an ounce or two.
2) On the advice of a friend I changed bottles
from Avent system to Evenflo. The Evenflo nipple is shorter and
apparently more breast-like.
She did seem to like this bottle a bit better, but still wouldn't really
take the bottle.
3) I bought a bottle warmer and warmed the milk warmer than I actually
thought was necessary. She seems to like it better this way.
4) I put
her in her infant car seat or bouncer seat and fed her the bottle
without touching her. THIS REALLY WORKED!
I can now leave the house without worrying about her feeding schedule.
Her care- giver plops her in one of the seats and gives her the bottle.
She now coos and smiles through the feedings. I still don't think she
is drinking quite as much as when I breastfeed her. She will take 4 oz.
max. But she will also take a subsequent feeding by bottle, if
necessary. And when I return she just seems to nurse a bit longer and
harder which helps keep up milk supply anyway.
Anyway, I hope this helps! I definitely know how frustrating this can
seem.
Good Luck!
My daughter also was fine with a bottle while I was on maternity leave.
Then, suddenly, I had been back at work about a week, she started to
refuse. We tried everything - I thought at first it was my diet, so I
quit chocolate, tea, many vegetables - kind of everything with flavor.
Then we thought it was the plastic bottles I was pumping and storing in,
so we switched to glass. Still, only slight improvement.
Finally, we switched her daycare, and they suggested that we try soy
formula, only during the day while she's drinking from a bottle. I was
torn, because I'd hoped to keep her on just breast milk for several more
months (she is 6 mos). We went ahead and tried it, and she drank several
bottles of milk that day and since.
I wouldn't switch to formula right away - I'd do all the things you
suggested - try a different bottle, a different nipple. Our daughter
won't *touch* a silicone nipple - only rubber. Try glass instead of
plastic. Try holding her differently. Try offering the bottle every 20
minutes or so... But then if all else fails, do a formula test.
Good luck!
cate
I'm not sure you said how old your baby is. I know we missed the
''window'' to get our now 15-month-old to take a bottle. I went back to
work when she was about 9 months and she refused to take a bottle during
the 8 hours I was gone for a long time (1-2 months!) She was eating
solids and drinking water out of a sippy cup, but it was stressful.
After I took 2 weeks for winter break, she refused again for at least a
month. The nipple she finally took is the NukNuk, but I think that is
because the other baby in our nanny share uses that one. The only thing
that worked was to keep trying every day and remember that babies will
not starve themselves and she will take the bottle when she realizes
that is her only option. If your schedule is irregular, you could try
to make sure you leave her with someone else to offer the bottle a few
hours every day, so she learns it is a regular thing. I suggest you
keep trying, because the longer you wait, the more stubborn they get (in
our experience).
You might also try formula instead of breast milk in the bottle - our
daughter refused breast milk from any source other than the breast, but
she did drink formula (especially watered down) and now drinks whole
milk (watered down). She also makes up for it by breastfeeding more
when I am around. Good luck!
Miranda
We had the same problem (starting at about 3 months -- it was ok before
that.) While I was at work (3 hours), my husband walked her if she
cried. Sometimes, they'd go with me to the class I was teaching to
minimize the time. My husband would go to a cafe and figure out other
ways to distract the baby (and himself). Then when class was over I'd
nurse in the car. The problem was fairly short-lived because at around 5
months he was able to feed her milk from a spoon, which she was willing
to take.
this too will pass
We ran into the same diffifulty with bottle feeding. I stayed home for
over one year with our second child and during that time I only breast
feed our daughter. When our daughter was 9 months old, I knew that I
need to go back to work after she turned one year old, so I started to
introduce the bottle. It was unsuccessful. SInce the bottle came late in
the game, when our daughter was 9 months old, she had already grown an
attachment to the breast and to me holding her while she received milk.
I tired various nipples, bottle and even sippy cups. She would entertain
these new devices like they were toys and simply turn away from all
nipples, bottle and sippy cups. I became desperate and needed be sure
that when I am at work she would receive milk. I started to spoon feed
her the milk. One method of getting to sit still to take her spoon feed
milk was to le ther watch her favorite show, Barney. It was the only
time that I can get her to sit on my lap and have her attention
completely on Barney. I would get the milk (at that time used formula)
warmed it in a bowl, turn Barney on and have my daughter sit on my lap
while I spoon feed the milk. One spoon at a time. It took about 10-15
minutes at the most to finish and eventually I was able to do it in 5
minutes. I would do this 3-4 times a day, depending on how her schedule
works out for each day.
Our daughter is 18 months now, and I no longer need to spoon feed milk
to her, as she has taken a liking to milk's flavor and now takes it all
by herself from a cup with a built in straw.
I know that it is tedious and time consuming, but all worth it. I wanted
our daughter to like the taste of milk so as she gets older she can
drink on her own with a straw cup. I think if I didn't introduce milk
(formula or cow) when I did with spoon feeding, she might not acquire a
taste for it. And now she loves it.
My advise to you is to try this method as kids grow older they become
more independent and will eventually ask for milk in a cup.
Happy Milk Mom
Feb 2007
I have been breastfeeding my son since birth and he is 4 months
old now. I introduced the bottle to him when he was 4 weeks old
and he was drinking one feed a day until he was 8 weeks old and
then all of a sudden he refused to take the bottle. I have
tried everything and keep offering him an ounce or two everyday
hoping that he will take the bottle. I have decided to start him
on the sippy cup as I will be going back to work when he turns 6
months old. I bought a sippy cup but realized it has a valve
which means he will have to suck from it, which he is not
interested in (I figured this would happen). Is 4 months too
young to start on the sippy cup without the valve ? What should
I do when he starts daycare ? I plan to start him on solids when
he is close to 6 months old but even then, milk will be his
primary source of nutrition and I am afraid that he will not
drink milk from the cup or the bottle when he is in daycare.
Has anyone else experienced this problem? Any advice would be
welcome.
worried mama
Hi,
I too had a child who refused to take a bottle. She then had trouble
with a sippy cup at age 1 even when her peers easily took it. I suggest
trying the sippy cup without the valve.
Then they don't have to suck as hard, but they do have to tip the cup
and it's not leak proof. Another option are the sippy cups with straws.
You do not have to suck as hard to make those work and you don't have to
tip them. For my child, that was easier. They are not totally leak
proof. Rubbermaid makes a version that is sold in grocery stores with
the other food storage items (Tupperware type stuff) and Playtex makes
an insulated version too.
Good luck!
Hardin
I got my son back on the bottle after a break by breastfeeding him and
slipping in the bottle before he realized what was up. I did this only a
couple of times. I also used the nipple to squirt a little into his
mouth with him in an upright position, but be careful with this as baby
can choke. Others may tell you that at daycare he will take a bottle if
he is really hungry, or he may wait until he gets home. Good luck.
been there
I hear your pain!! We just went through this with our 5 month old.
although we introduced the bottle around 3 mos, she refused it and I
needed to start work. After two difficult weeks, she finally has taken
the bottle. The things that worked (after spending a fortune on every
type of nipple and bottle, and every night online looking for a ''magic
trick''), were having another person give it to her, keeping consistent
with the one bottle/nipple that she seemed to hate the least, and
putting formula in it.
The absolute worst thing you'll have to go through is knowing that your
baby hasn't eaten all day (and this is very very
hard.) The best thing to know is something an advice nurse told
me: most babies will absolutely take the bottle when they are hungry
enough, even though some people tell you they won't. In our case this
was true. During the day, she did not eat, and i nursed her every hour
until bedtime and through the night. She coped by sleeping more during
the day and crying, of course.
Finally, thankfully she is taking it.
If you can afford it, hire someone you trust to do this for you all
week/weekend. The greatest advice nurse told me that the babies will not
take a bottle from their breastfeeding mother.
After all, why would they when you've got what they want.
visit www,kellymom.com for great info and support.
Good luck, I really feel your pain. But I just know that your baby can
and will do it!
ssc
I had the EXACT same problem with my son. We used the Avent soft sippy
cup spouts. Don't take out the valve, the milk will just flow way too
fast and he'll gag. What we did is cut out a very small piece from the
valve. This allowed the milk to flow a lot slower.
Also, I've seen many posts on BPN about kids not taking a bottle/sippy
at daycare. A lot of folks wrote saying it's ok if they go 7 - 8 hrs at
daycare w/ out drinking much, but that they'll make up for it at home.
anon
My daughter did EXACTLY the same thing. She took the bottle for about
two weeks (although reluctantly) at 6 weeks and then refused it
altogether. We stopped trying to bottle feed her a couple ounces every
day. She would either cry and get hysterical or just play w/ the nipple
in her mouth and not take any milk.
She started daycare when she was 6 months old as well. A couple weeks
before daycare, we started solids. I gave her a sippy cup w/o a valve
but she didn't know what to do w/ it. I first had to teach her to drink
my milk from a small open top cup (small diameter shot glass to be
exact). I then moved to the sippy cup w/o a valve. She is using the
sippy cup top for the Avent bottles. Some of the other sippy cups were
too hard to use w/o a valve. They had internal drains on the lids that
did not allow for all the milk to come out of the cup. Some cups had
views that were obstructed and I could not see whether milk was pouring
out from the spout. I found the Avent bottles w/ sippy cup spout to be
the best. The daycare is now feeding her milk w/ the Avent bottle/sippy
lid. It takes a while and it can be very messy, but it works. At
daycare, she eats solids 2 to 3 times a day and has 3 'bottles' of milk.
On the positive side, your baby won't be lying down sucking milk from a
bottle, which prevents ear infections, and you won't need to wean him
from a bottle. Right now my daughter is learning to hold an open cup
with handles and can almost drink from the cup! Good Luck!
pamela
Try a few different nipples, persevere, and try having someone else give
the bottle to your baby. If left alone with your partner and a bottle
(ie you are out of the house) your baby will eventually decide to take
it.
I wouldn't try the sippy cup without a valve as you will lose most of
the milk.
anon
oohh, you are not alone on this one. my 7 month old son suddenly
started refusing the bottle at age 4 months. like your son, he had been
fed from a bottle daily, but still, one day, poof, he just decided he
wouldn't do it. i returned to work when he was 6 months. i only work
2-3 days a week, but am gone for 10 hours at a time. i will tell you
some of the things we have done to keep him fed and hydrated in the
absence of the beloved breasts:
-spoon feed breastmilk or formula that has been slightly thickened with
rice cereal -offer sips of breastmilk or forumula thru a regular cup
-tried at straw (at my pediatrician's recommendation) -give baby
applesauce, pears and carrots, especially for their watery, non
constipating quality -introduced whole fat yogart (okay'd by my
pediatrician) just to get more milk products and calories in him.
-offered watered down juice via the bottle, which the little stinker
will drink a little of and keeps him hydrated
this all takes a lot of effort on the part of his caregive (his dad) but
it seems to keep him properly hydrated and content. when i get home from
work, i basically nurse him twice an hour until he goes to bed and i
breastfeed him more frequently at night. we were having a constipation
issue, but that has resolved since he started taking 2-3 ounces of juice
and water while i'm away along with pureed prunes. we continue to offer
the bottle and sippycup, but so far he hasn't taken from them.
i think its a good idea to start the table foods for your baby sooner
than later so that he/she will have a good repetoire going by time you
go back to work.
remember in the begining you should only offer one new food every 5 to 7
days.
also, don't give up on the bottle and sippycup, cause you never know
what your baby will give in to when your not around. i would also
recommend pumping in the evenings before you return to work so that when
you do start working your body will be ready to meet the baby's feeding
demands in the evenings after work. good luck. i can't say it isn't a
little stressful, but it's do-able.
mommy of babe who loves the breast
Hi,
My 6.5 month old also refuses the bottle and at this point, I have just
put them all away. I went through the same thing where she took it
initially, but by 10 weeks, she just refused it. I also tried the
sippy, and she was more interested in that, than the bottle, but would
get to much when she sucked, so just stopped. My mother suggested trying
a cup, which she really prefers now. Sometimes it can get a bit messy,
but what I do now is take the suction part out of the sippy cups (the
Avent infant ones are great because they are soft and fit on the
bottles) and just drop a bit into her mouth at a time like she is
sipping it.
She takes it just fine and prefers that. The way I look at it now is
that at least I wont have to wean her from a bottle later on. Check to
see if the day cares would do that...I dont know why they wouldnt
becuase its just like bottle feeding. Good Luck...
mina
Oct 2004
I am really struggling trying to get my 4 month old boy to take
a bottle. I introduced the bottle when he was 2 months (one a
day), but have continued to breastfeed. I have tried
everthing...different nipples, different times of the day,
someone else giving him the bottle, etc... and it is not getting
any easier. It takes an hour to give him 3 oz and then he is
hungry again 1/2 hour later. He just lolls the nipple in his
mouth and can't quite seem to suck. I really want to continue
breastfeeding for at least another 6 months, but also want him
to drink from a bottle. I would love to hear any suggestions or
if anyone has had a similar struggle and what you did about it.
Lisa
My daughter also wasn't big on the bottle. Like you, I
struggled with all sorts of different strategies to get her to
take it. But you know what? She is now 13 mos old, I
breastfed her until 10 mos, and in retrospect, I'm really glad
she never took a bottle, because it would have been just one
more thing to wean her from. I actually plan to just skip the
bottle with my next one, now. You can introduce a sippy cup at
your baby's age. I offered my daughter a cup at 5 mos, just
occasionally; she got the hang of it between 6 and 7 mos, and
could hold it herself at 8 mos. It's been great--no bottle
weaning. Granted, you are more tied to your baby having to
nurse all the time until your baby gets the hang of a cup, but
you could consider it a blessing--you'll miss it later! Best
wishes.
happy with a cup
May 2003
I have a 4 month old son, who has been breastfeed exclusively.
I will be starting work in 3 weeks so i want to introduce
formula. I have tried several times but he is rejecting it. His
father has also tried feeding him formula in a bottle but
without any sucess.
Since i am starting work soon, I am really concerned. Pumping is
not an option for me as it is too painful(even with an electric
pump).
When i start work I want to nurse him once in the morning and
then in then evening and nights. However I want to feed him
formula while I am away during the day. Does anyone
know if this can work (both breastfeed and formula feedings)?
Also does anyone have tips on how I can make him take the
formula? Please help...
First, the good news Yes, combi feeding is possible. However,
some women do seem to struggle to keep up their supply when
doing this, and many babies who get a lot of bottles, especially
of formula, wean prematurely. Nurse your baby as much as you
can during the hours you're together -- possibly even if that
means more interrupted sleep, or commuting home and back on your
lunch hour. You may find that you have to supplement with
formula on the weekends, during the hours you're ordinarily at
work.
Chances are, your baby will come to accept the bottle
eventually, but even if he doesn't, he'll likely be fine. I
know a few moms whose babies have ''reverse cycled'' -- sleeping a
lot and taking the bare minimum from a bottle during the
workday, and nursing a lot in the evening and through the
night. If you can cope with that, it's fine for your baby.
The bad news Your baby is probably rejecting both the taste of
the formula (smart boy!) and the bottle itself. There are lots
of tricks that you can try to help with bottle refusal, but
everyone I know who's dealt with this was using pumped
breastmilk, not formula, so I've no idea whether they'll work
for you. Anyway, the main one is to vary the temperature of the
milk (formula); try everything from a bit warmer than body temp
to straight out of the fridge. Also, try varying how the person
feeding the bottle holds the baby -- some prefer a greater
distinction from nursing position, while others reject the
bottle unless everything else is as close as possible to
nursing. Oh, and DON'T try to give bottles yourself (except
possibly as a last resort.) You want him to learn that
Mommy=nursing and Everyone Else=bottles; otherwise, nipple
confusion, bottle preference, nursing strikes and premature
weaning are more likely.
Also You said you can't pump because it's painful, and I
wonder whether you've tried some different types of pump? Or
hand expression? Have you tried it since you got over the
newborn-period sore and/or cracked nipples (assuming you have)?
(A decent pump should not be painful. If you've been using a
Gerber, First Years or Evenflo, throw it in the trash and buy a
real pump.) I had HUGE psychological issues with using an
electric pump and, throughout my pregnancy, insisted that I
Would Not Pump. Well, to make a long story short, some of the
initial problems we had breastfeeding put an end to that, and I
learned that I could indeed cope with using the Avent Isis
manual pump, and got good enough results to use it at work every
day for seven months.
But if you choose not to (and it's hard to blame you -- pumping
*is* a royal pain), then don't worry. Your baby won't starve
himself. You'll work it out. I wish you the best.
Holly
I am also starting to give my 4 month old formula after
exclusive breastfeeding. Fortunately, I am pumping so I am able
to mix formula with breastmilk so she can get used to the
taste. First I started with a small amount of formula mixed in,
then when she seemed to tolerate it and like the taste, I've
been raising the proportion. I suggest you keep trying the
pump . It does hurt and feel strange at first, but just like
nursing, it gets better over time and is totally worth it. You
might also consider a different pump. I use a Medela and it's
great.
I was able to breatfeed when home and use formula when not, with
good milk supply until 9 months old with two babies. I pumped
for a time when I went back to work, but my job didn't allow me
to do it regularly, so I ended up nursing 3 times per day only
after they slept through the night at 5-6 months. My kids
rejected both bottle and breast soon after they started walking
(both at 9 months old), or I probably could have kept the 1/2-
1/2 arrangement going until 1 year. You must keep well hydrated
to do it, but your milk supply is so well established by 4
months it's likely to work for you. I don't have much advice on
switching over to formula feeds at this age- I introduced a
bottle every few days starting at 3 weeks or so and they didn't
mind formula after the first few times (how come they're so
picky now about food?!)
Though it may hurt to pump, my advice is to try mixing 1/3or 1/4
formula w/ breast milk and gradually increase the ratio of
formula to breast milk.
good luck
We got our son to take formula as a supplement (a few times a
day along w/ breastfeeding a few times a day) at about 4 months.
A couple of suggestions
1) maybe try a different kind of formula. We used enfamil lactose
free and found that was easier on his tummy. maybe he just
doesn't like the taste of the particular one you are using.
2) We did it by having my husband try to feed him the bottle at
the same time each day (for us it was the early morning feeding
so I could sleep in). If the baby didn't cry but didn't take the
bottle, he'd just wait a few minutes and try again. The first
couple of times it didn't work, but after few tries of being
introduced to the same thing at the same time, our son came to
expect it and finally took the bottle. It became a bonding
experience between him and his father. Maybe this would work with
a caregiver as well. Gradually my son came to be able to take
formula from his caregiver, my husband, and even me! I continued
to both breastfeed and supplement with formula untill I weened
him at 11 months.
Hope this helps, and good luck!
been there
I found that after my 4 month old learned to successfully take it
from dad, I never had a problem feeding him a bottle and also
breastfeeding when I wanted. He never had nipple confusion (by 4
months, the baby definitely knows the difference betweeen a
nipple and a bottle, no matter who provides it!)I had trouble
pumping as well, but the formula supplementing never disturbed my
milk supply. my body just got used to nursing at the schedule I
chose. I tried to bottle feed and nurse at predictable times each
day. I think our comfort level with the decision to supplement
affected how comfortable our son was with it and finally, after
several tries, he began taking the bottle regularly, 2 or 3 times
a day. It ended up working out really well for us.
Only you know if this choice if it is the right one for you and
your baby. Good luck!
happy supplementer
Feb 2004
We are trying to start our 6 week old, breasfeeding baby on
the bottle as I will be going back to work soon. Have tried
numerous different nipples with no luck. Have tried the
Avent, Gerber and Nuk. any suggestions or ideas?
Thanks!
Rikki
Make sure you are far away when your child is given a bottle.
JB
Our breastfeeding daughter refused a bottle for months, although
we tried almost every day, in every way, with every different
nipple, from about 3 weeks old on. The first time I left her
with my partner for an entire day (to attend a wedding out of
town), she was 5.5 months old and had only taken a bottle once
(Playtex nipple). She refused to eat for about 7 hours, then
finally got hungry enough and took the bottle. She's now in
daycare and happily eating from the Playtex nipple. She will
not drink from any other type of nipple, and she will not take a
bottle from me (bio mom). It helped a lot when I got the faster
flow nipples, but she was a lot older than your baby by then.
Good luck! I think she will take the bottle when she gets
hungry enough; until then, it's just anxiety-provoking!
noel
Many, many, new parents have been in the exact same position, I
think the only answer is to just keep trying, keeping in mind
that eventually your baby WILL take it. (Also once he/she takes
it give them a bottle at least 2x a week for a while -even if
it is just to start the feed), or amnesia can set in and you
have to start the whole learning process over.
Been There
Keep trying! You really need to try EVERY day. Try putting
baby in bouncy seat with one of the Baby Einstein's playing on
TV--the visual will distract baby while you reach around from
behind and put bottle in baby's mouth. This worked for our
baby (though, only for a few weeks--maybe you'll have better
luck). Also, Dr. Brown's bottles have a good nipple--it's more
pliable than Avent and was easier for our baby to get into her
mouth. If these suggestions don't work, you may have to leave
the house while your husband or other caregiver tries the
bottle, as some babies refuse the bottle while mom is around.
I feel your pain, as our 5 month old daughter will take a
bottle only sporadically (fortunately, I am home with her)--I
think our mistake was letting her nurse exclusively from 4 to 8
weeks. Anyway, I think you are at a critical point with
respect to your baby's age, in addition to the obvious--you
going back to work. So keep trying every day. Good luck!!
Tracy
May 2003
My daughter is 6 weeks old, and was taking a bottle on a daily
basis without a problem. Suddenly, she's decided not to take
it. She starts to latch onto it, sometime drinking a little,
and then starts fussing and crying. We've been unsuccessful in
our attempts to try it at different times of day, with different
people, the bait and switch, etc. I'm wondering if anyone has
any successful experience to share. Should I give it a break
for a while? Should we keep trying daily? Should we be
persistent, and let her cry through it? I'm becoming very
concerned that this will be a big problem when I have to go back
to work in four weeks. Thanks for any help! Laura
laura
Does she need a faster-flowing nipple? My son was exclusively
bottle fed, and he would start acting frustrated with the
bottle when he was ready for the next stage nipple.
Catherine
This happened to us when our daughter was 9 weeks old.
I searched the archives and found a lot, but nothing helped, and neither did
Sears & Sears long list about how to bottle feed a breast fed baby.
We tried to understand WHY and WHY NOW. A dozen theories, but we could
never really figure out what it was. That my partner had tried the bottle at
night once so that I get some more sleep? that the milk had been too cold
once? or not fresh enough? or the baby feeling she was to be forced to stay
with relatives who were visiting? the wrong bottle nipples? Etc.
A few times we were lucky with fingerfeeding (very slow, but could delay a
nursing) and spoonfeeding. But not really, she started to resist that as well.
We didn't want to let her cry, but actually ended up doing exactly what you do
not want to do if you believe in conditioning ''good habits'' in babies We kept
trying a couple of times, listened to her protest for a while, and then we gave
in. We let her breaking our will, not the other way round. Our daughter was a
very easy and happy newborn (and still is now, at age 11 months). The only
one really important thing to her was nursing. We felt that it would be unfair
of us to be so insisting about the bottle. This precious baby has only this one
desire, we really should let her have it is what we felt. And if we communicated
to her that she is allowed to have her own will, that's good. (Every child will
figure that out eventually.)
We felt relieved after we made the decision to stop trying the bottle. It had
added an enourmous amount of stress to our lives.
Someone recommended not to try anymore for 3 weeks. Then we would have
a differnt baby. I didn't really believe it. We didn't try anymore for 5 weeks.
Your going back to work must be a very scary thought for you. Maybe you can
make a worst case scenario. Taking baby to your work maybe with a
babysitter, or babysitter hanging out very close to where you work, cell
phones, working from home - to name a few things.
If smokers can leave their workplace every hour for 10 minutes, than nursing
mothers can do so for 20 minutes every other hour. Don't feel bad about
expecting others to make a few compromises. You are currently following the
schedule of a newborn 24 hours a day. Others can also make a few
compromises. Another point is that breastfed babies get sick far less often
than bottlefed babies, and that is certainly in the interest of an employer. (If a
3 months old has an ear infection the mother is probably going to stay home no
matter what.) Look at your work situation closely. Things often can be
stretched here and there. It's probably only going to be a problem for a very
short time after all.
My work situation was very flexible, and I am grateful for that. But I also had
to take my daughter to some meetings and workshops (she stayed with a
babysitter close by) where I wouldn't have dreamt to take a baby along before I
had a baby myself.
After 5 weeks we tried again and it worked. She didn't really like it, but she
took it. My partner gave her the bottle during a walk in the sling. He started
giving it to her while she was still half asleep, in the process of waking up and
crying for milk. Now she didn't care which nipple. Nuk, Avent - whatever.
Around 6 months she started to really like and explore solids, and it got very
easy from there.
We still minimized the number of bottle feedings not to make her upset again.
Then it became easier and easier. Especially when she got interested in
touching and manipulating objects. The bottle became something like a toy for
her. However, she would always prefer the breast, especially when she is tired.
Good luck, Julia
The exact same thing (refusing a bottle of breastmilk) happened
with my son around the same age. He also had been taking a
pacifier and began refusing it then,too. We didn't care about
the binkie, but we did want him to be bottle friendly for when
I returned to work. Since I wasn't returning until he was 6
months old, we figured we would give the bottle a rest and try
again in a few weeks. BIG mistake. By then he totally refused.
When he was around four months old we got advice that we needed
to be persistent and try a bottle every single day, to give it
at the same time of day (when he was a little hungry but not to
wait until he was starving nor wait until he was really tired),
and to not get sidetracked trying every type of bottle and
nipple under the sun (we stuck with the Nuk orthodontic
silicone model). We also were to try feeding him the bottle in
different ways and places in the lap, in the bouncy chair,
while walking him in a bjorn, etc. Also I'm sure you've heard
that it might be easier for the non-lactating parent to be the
bottle giver as baby knows Mommy has the good stuff on her.
My son refused the bottle every day for 4 weeks, then would
randomly take a little milk one out of 5 times, and now finally
is taking the bottle again, about 8 weeks from when we started
getting serious about reintroducing it. For some reason giving
him the bottle outside in the park worked for him. Go figure.
He is now seven and 1/2 months old. I had originally planned to
return to work for two full and one half day a week, but with
his bottle refusal I changed my schedule to five days a week,
mornings only. My situation was easier because by the time I
returned to work he was six months old and taking solid food,
so he would take expressed milk mixed with rice cereal on a
spoon. Even though he finally started taking the bottle this
week, I plan to keep the four hour shifts as I think it will be
easier for him to have me consistently gone a short time every
day instead of either home all day or gone all day.
My advice is be persistent in trying every day, be consistent
about the time of day you try, don't force it when the baby
gets upset, see if you can get your baby to take a binkie ( to
keep baby used to sucking on rubber nipples)and with an older
baby to let the baby play with their bottle like a toy. Chances
are she'll eventually get back on track if she's only been
refusing a short time. But there are some very stubborn babies
who will not return to the bottle and if your child ends up
being one of then I would explore working only half days out of
the house until Baby is able to eat from a spoon if this at all
an option.
Good luck getting Baby back on the bottle; I know how
stressful it is returning to work, and how the stress is
compounded when you are worried your baby isn't eating.
Susanna
Hi. I know everyone has different experience with getting
babies to take a bottle, but I wanted to pass mine along. My
baby also took a bottle for a while and then started refusing
the bottle. We kept trying for a while -- my husband would
give him a bottle downstairs while I hid (or slept) upstairs,
and my son would scream for 20 minutes and take almost
nothing. We finally gave up. But, the good news is, we never
had a problem with him taking a bottle when I was gone. (How
he knew whether I was upstairs or gone I have no idea). He
never took a lot from the bottle, but he always took enough and
he never threw a huge fit like he did when we gave him the
bottle while I was around.
So, I don't know what to tell you about whether or not to keep
trying. Before you go back to work, you might want to leave
him alone with grandparents or dad and a bottle and see what he
does when you are out of the house. Also, we always fed my son
pumped breast milk; formula tastes different, so you might try
breast milk first, then mix formula and breast milk and then
transition to formula (if that's what you're planning on
feeding your baby). Plus, once he starts solids (usually
between 4-6 months) he may eat solids and not as much milk when
you're away.
Good luck!
Laura
Our son did the same thing at about six weeks. It turned out
that he was ready for a faster flow on the nipple. Once we
moved up to the next stage he started taking the bottle again
just fine. I am not sure what type of bottles you are using but
Avent worked the best for us. Good luck!
anon
June 2004
I've been trying to get my 7-week-old son to start taking a
bottle. He has been breast fed exclusively since birth. I will
be returning to work at the end of August and I want him to be
comfortable with it by then. Also, it would be nice to be able
to leave him for a little bit without worrying that he'll be
hungry.
He takes a pacifier (Nuk) and we bought the same kind of nipple
for the bottle. But when my husband tries to give him the
bottle, my son just ends up crying. He does get a few drops of
milk but does not seem motivated to start sucking to get more.
Any suggestions? Some people have said ''He'll take it if he's
hungry enough.'' But that seems so traumatic to me. I'm hoping
there's a better way.
Thanks.
rcl
Hello there -- we had the same problem when I went back to work
part-time at three months. What finally worked for us
was ''bottle boot camp'' which was a lot of work, but involved me
pumping during the day (even on the days I was home) and
offering only the bottle (of breastmilk) during daytime hours.
We continued breastfeeding at night. Our son began to associate
bottles with daytime and breast with evening/night time. The
trick is to be consistent. It was a real drag-- we basically
stopped nursing during the day, which I missed tremendously. It
also involved quite a bit of crying in the beginning, until he
figured out the routine, but at least preserved nursing at
night. Oh yes, one trick you might try (if you can picture it)
is offering the bottle while bouncing up and down sitting on an
exercise ball (one of those yoga balls). I'm not kidding--
somehow it distracted our baby enough to start him sucking!
Good luck.
Mom who has been there
We started feeding our son with a bottle at 3 weeks, and made a
point of making sure he got one bottle a day so he wouldn't be
too surprised when I went back to work. So far, at 3 months he's
had no problem with either breast or bottle.
However, during the ''training'' time he did flat out refuse to
take a bottle one time and we were pretty freaked out. He was
crying like crazy. So, we put the bottle aside. I did NOT breast
feed him. He stopped crying after a few minutes, then we tried
the bottle again in an hour and he sucked down the whole thing.
I didn't even have to leave the house. I'm guessing he really
wasn't that hungry at first and was irritated about having a
nipple shoved in his mouth.
So, maybe next time your baby refuses a bottle just try being
patient and let him get hungry enough. I wouldn't wait all day
long, maybe just an hour before trying again.
Spikesmom
October 2001
Does anyone have any advice on how to convince a breastfed baby to accept
bottles? We are at our whits end. Our normally happy and easy-going 2
month old baby has recently started to completely refuse the
bottle (she accepted bottles easily her first month). She is breastfed,
but I'd like her to take a bottle during the 4-5 hours that I need to be
away at work.
She started refusing bottles when we went on vacation and didn't keep up
with the bottles. It's my pumped breastmilk, so it's not a formula
problem. I'm afraid we probably made the situation worse by trying to
continue giving her the bottle when she was crying. Now she starts crying
at the sight of the bottle approaching. Different people have tried (even
grandma), we've tried different nipples (gerber's, avent, playtex, rubber,
silicone, fast flow, slow flow, preemie). We've tried a medicine dropper
and even Medela's Hazelbaker FingerFeeder (a supplementer that allows you
to feed baby from your finger). In every case, as soon as she figures out
that it's not a breast (a second or so), she starts refusing. She won't
even suck on a finger as a substitute. We're not forcing her anymore, just
offering it to her, but she will cry and cry for 2 hours (that's as long
as we've dared to go). I've even tried leaving the house when my husband
is trying, but still no dice.
I've been told that some babies just won't take bottles, but she used to
before. It just pains me so much to hear her crying and crying when she
could just take a bottle. I'm not as freaked out about it as I used to be,
since I realize that she won't starve, but eventually she'll need to go to
daycare, at least part-time, so I'm really concerned. I'd really
appreciate hearing if anyone has had similar experiences. Is it hopeless,
or have you had any success? Thanks for your help!
Marguerite
I stumbled on a solution to this with my first, when she was adamantly
refusing the bottle at two months. While bathing her, I just picked up a
nipple (no bottle), put a little warm water in it, and put it near her
mouth. She sucked it, so I repeated it with water, then put a little milk in
it (still, just the nipple, not the bottle). I can't remember if I
introduced the bottle then, or at a later bath. After that, she took the
bottle--although she still always prefered nursing and didn't like me to
give her a bottle. However, she'd take it from someone else easily after
that. I think the key was that we were both relaxed and happy at the time,
and the situation wasn't loaded...it just occured to me to try this while
she was in her bath. Good luck.
meghan
I'm in the process of introducing my 6wk old baby to the bottle as
well. She was having a little tough time. But the only advice I can
give that I did was just let her fuss and be patient. I was very
persistant. She's going to be hungry at some point and will want to
eat. I tried talking to her too, so that she would know that it was
mommy's milk. I know its hard to hear them cry and this is my second
child so its not as hard. Crying is good for their lungs anyway. I
try and give her a bottle as much as possible too, so that she will
get used to it. Don't let the baby take control over you. You have
to lay down the guidelines and rules for them.
Nia
Our son _never_ took a bottle with a nipple -- and like you, we tried
everything! Finally, when he was about 6 months old, we got the sippy-cup
spout attachments for our Avent bottles, and those worked very well for us
-- we'd tip a little breastmilk into his mouth and he would happily swallow
it. It was kind of a high-maintenance feeding method, but it did enable me
to leave him with a sitter for the first time ever! If I have the same
problem with my next child, I'll probably try this solution a little bit
earlier.
Sara
My daughter also refused to take the bottle (at around 4 mos), after
having no difficulty when she was very small. We tried just about
everything, as it seems you have. The only thing that really worked
was letting her go hungry for a long period of time. I left the house
for twelve hours. She didn't eat until the 10th. I would recommend
that you find someone other than dad.. like grandma, or auntie, or a
good friend with kids who will not take it personally when your child
screams at them all day for not having boobs. Your baby knows how,
survival instinct will eventually kick in. Some babies only want the
real thing and will wait a long time to get it.
It will also get easier in a few months when your baby starts to eat
some rice cereal and other starter foods. It certainly doesn't satisfy
them in the same way, but at least if you're getting some solids in,
you don't feel quite so bad when they bottle strike.
Good luck!
My oldest child had exactly the situation you describe- at first she
took the bottle willingly, and when we didn't follow up for a few
weeks she began to refuse. I, too, needed to return to work and we
were panicked. We received all sorts of advice; one friend told us
that he got his child to take it by putting strawberry Quik in the
bottle; another said he went down in the basement with the baby and
bottle and didn't come up until he succeeded. We did neither of
those. My amazingly patient husband just hung in there and offered her
the bottle in a quiet, gentle way, with lots of encouragement, and
calming strokes (through all her screams). He did it in the morning,
when she was hungry but not cranky, and I left the house. He did this
several days in a row. Finally, after one 45-minute session she
finally took the bottle, and we were careful to follow up every day
after that with at least one bottle a day. After the battle was over
she took the bottle willingly. Good luck! Lauren
I had this experience with my son who refused to take a bottle when he was
about seven weeks old after accepting the bottle when he was younger. We
tried all types of nipples and bottles to no avail. We had the best luck
with a sippy cup, but it was difficult to really establish the habit when
he four-five months old. However, when he was about six months old he
bonded with the sippy cup and now readily uses it to take medicine,
vitamins or breast milk when I am not around. We've been told that now he
won't have to wean from a bottle and a breast. Good luck.
tiara
My daughter also cried at the sight of the bottle. When she was six months
old
and I went back to work, however, breastfeeding was not an option during the
day and she took the bottle from her father with no fuss at all. After a
month or
so she didn't want to breastfeed. Now she is 16 months old and drinks from
the
bottle at bedtime and drinks from a tippy cup during the day.
(1) Check your breast milk. Make sure it hasn't soured. I learned
that mine didn't store for long (high amounts of lipase) which made
the baby sad.
(2) Make your bottle routine really different than the breast feeding
routine. For our baby, that meant I (mom) couldn't even be in the
house. Her daddy found that putting her in the sling and walking
around with her worked the best (and it was really different than our
nursing routines of rocking in the chair or lying in the bed).
(3) Go to a La Leche League meeting and talk to experienced
breastfeeding moms or call a La Leche League leader. They are a
great resource.
Ilana
We had exactly the same experience with our now 18-month-old boy. My husband
introduced the bottle at 4 weeks old and we gave him a bottle once a week from
there, but that only lasted a few weeks. He started to refuse, and it soon
became quite traumatic for everyone. By the way, he also never wanted a
pacifier and never exhibited much of a sucking tendency at all (except
nursing,
which he did quite well). I needed to return to work and put him in daycare
starting at 4 months. We tried everything, paid a consultant, tried every
bottle, every nipple/flow, every position, every caregiver, everything! Like
your baby, he soon screamed at the sight of a bottle, it had become so
traumatic. This became VERY stressful for me as the target date for returning
to work approached. I was so tired of reciting all the details, and it seemed
that everyone had advice on what we must be doing incorrectly.
The first thing that worked for me is that I declared I wanted to give up
trying
- accept he would never take a bottle - and a huge weight was lifted. We
shifted our energy from trying to change him, to trying to find another
alternative that worked. The problem is that all the advice - in books, from
friends, family, professionals - convinces you that there must be SOME WAY to
make your baby take the bottle, instead of giving you options other than the
bottle. We did find a way - quickly - as soon as we put our minds to it.
First, I work close to his daycare, so I went there to feed him at lunch for
the
first few months. I don't know if this is a possibility for you, but if there
is any way you can make it work, it is worth the effort. I came to love our
mid-day visits, and it helped smooth the transition to daycare. Second, a
consultant pointed out to us that he would be on a sippy cup in a few months
anyway, and the beauty of a sippy cup is that the milk pours into their mouth
-
they do not have to actively suck - and they have no choice but to swallow.
The
product that saved us was Avent's soft rubber sippy-cup-shaped nipple that
fits
on its regular bottles. In the beginning, we gave him just a few sips,
putting
it in, pulling it out right away, and then I breastfed him. He was held
upright
in our lap, or sometimes in the car seat. He had some trouble, but soon got
the
hang of it. He by no means had it mastered by the time he went to daycare,
but
our center was very patient and his desire for milk won out. The combination
of
lunchtime visits and the slow learning curve (never pushing) of the Avent
sippy
worked for us. At 18 months, he still uses the Avent sippy (we use it for
milk
only) and can hold it himself and handle the fast flow - so it is like he
takes
a bottle after all.
I am sure you have heard that some babies do not have milk during the day and
make up for it at night by breastfeeding more. While not ideal, I think it is
preferable to shrug your shoulders and say, "we'll make it work," rather than
beating yourself up over the bottle thing.
In restrospect (and this is too late for either of us, but I do tell my
pregnant
friends this, and I know it is controversial), I would have allowed a bottle
to
be introduced in the hospital, and I would have given him a bottle more often
than once a week. But in the end, like all things baby, they find their own
way
and, together, you make it work. Good luck.
Jennifer
My baby took breastmilk from a bottle from around age six weeks to four
months, then totally refused. I went back to work when she was five months
and at first she would not take a bottle at daycare either, but it worked
out. First, the infant room teachers at our daycare center (Child Education
Center) had been through it before, and knew what they were doing. They
coaxed her with different bottles that they had on hand and eventually found
a type she would take. Second, although I had planned to go back full-time,
I was fortunate to be fairly flexible at first. I didn't leave her there all
day until she started taking the bottle; I called after a couple of hours and
if she wasn't eating, I picked her up. I only had to do this for a week or
so. That gave the teachers time to work their magic and, I think, gave my
daughter time to figure out without trauma that in this new place, with these
new people, there was only one way to eat. She continued to refuse bottles
at home for a long time. So my advice is not to stress out about the bottle
now. Your baby may not take it at home from her familiar people, but given a
patient and experienced daycare provider and a little time, she will learn
what she needs to do in her new situation. At 20 months my daughter loves
both daycare and bottles.
Teresa
We have a 5-mo-old who has had a LOT of problems with the bottle. We
started at 6 weeks and have struggled endlessly, until about
recently. Our story sounds like yours -- we tried a lot of different
nipples, different people, etc. Here are some things that have worked
for us, based on information you DIDN'T mention:
- change of location -- our baby did a lot better with the bottle
when he was in an unfamiliar environment. We tried feeding him
outdoors, at friends' homes, and in rooms where he wasn't breastfed.
- don't let it escalate -- this was advice we got from our ped's
office and it helped us. Once he started crying a lot, we just
stopped, because we didn't want it to become a war of wills and have
him associate the bottle with being really upset.
- change of position -- one position that worked well for us was NOT
holding him, just putting him on the floor and letting him suck the
bottle.
- take a break -- I think we just gave up for about a week or so,
then reintroduced the bottle. He actually kind of forgot how much he
hated it.
- time of day -- we discovered that the one time he would take a
bottle, almost consistently without protest, was at bedtime, right
before going to sleep (he would tank up to get ready for bed, so he
was always hungrier). So we started adding a bottle at bedtime, and
this seems to have made giving bottles during the day easier.
Good luck!
Teresa and Sam
Dec 2003
Our eight week old baby will not take the bottle. We've been
trying since week four with no luck. We probably did not try
consistently enough and I was not always out of the house
as recommended but any ideas for success at this time?
Robin
My husband also had tremendous struggles with our now 27 month
old daughter and the bottle at the age of 6-8 weeks. We started
with the Advent system which she refused. The thing that worked
for us was to try different bottles and nipples and she finally
accepted the Playtex drop ins.
anon
My daughter would not take a bottle until she needed to -- that
is, when she was six months old and I went to work full time and
she got hungry while we were apart. Babies are pretty clever
and will not let themselves starve.
LC
Some tips you might try for your infant who refuses the bottle--
1. Have someone besides mom give the bottle, and have mom out of
sight.
2. Try heating milk on the warmer side--some babies like this.
Also, try freshly pumped breastmilk (are you offering frozen?
it might taste different).
3. Try giving the bottle while bouncing on one of those exercise
balls, this seems to distract them and they start sucking
automatically.
4. Bait and switch--- have mom breastfeed, then when baby is in
a rhythm slip nipple out and bottle in, chances are baby will
just keep sucking.
5. Try holding baby facing away from you and bouncing him up
and down, with bottle in mouth. This again sometimes distracts
them enough to start sucking.
6. Try various nipples-- they come in different sizes/shapes
(silicone has less of a taste and our baby prefers it to latex)
I went back to work part-time at 10 wks and my husband had
to ''bottle-train'' baby the hard way while I was gone -- even
though we had given our baby a bottle a day since week three, he
always preferred the breast (and still does now at 4 months).
My husbands approach: he would try for ten minutes (crying),
take a ten minute break, try again for ten minutes(crying), and
so on. Eventually some milk would get in the baby.... Also,
once you make progress, stick with it. Make sure baby takes at
least a bottle (or two is even better) a day even on the days
mom is home, so he/she doesn't forget.
Good luck.
anon
We had the same experience with our baby. We tried the bottle
almost every day for about a month with absolutely no success.
She never sucked on the nipple, and when she did, she'd just let
the milk run out of her mouth. We stopped trying so often, and
bought every type of nipple we could find. She finally agreed
to take the Playtex latex nipple, but not until she was about 12
weeks old. We tried everything: feeding her when she was
hungry, feeding her when she wasn't hungry, me (breastfeeding
mom) leaving the house, feeding her in our arms, feeding her in
the swing, etc. She finally took the bottle from her other mom
when I was out, but sometimes will only take it from me. We
still ''practice'' because I'm going back to work soon. We are
most successful if we try when she's not ravenous because
sometimes she gets really ! mad when presented with the bottle.
She is now 5 months and still struggles. She wants to chew on
the nipple rather than suck, so we are going to try a faster
flowing nipple. But she still will drink only from the Playtex
and still refuses Avent, Gerber and Nuk nipples. Good luck!
noel
My mom started watching my breastfed daughter on when she was 6
weeks old. My child would not take the bottle either. What finally
worked
was for the baby to lay in a bouncy seat on a table and to have my
mother sit behind her. My mom would hold the bottle in front of my
daughter, and all the baby would see is a hand and a bottle. My
daughter would get very mad if she saw someone other than me feeding
her, but she didn't seem to mind just an arm! I do think you need to
leave
the home, and when the baby gets hungry enough, she'll be more
motivated to try.
Good luck!
Been there
I experienced the same problem with my son, who is now 9 months old.
I, too, tried to give him a bottle at 8 weeks, which led to resistance
from him and a lot of crying. What I finally did and what finally
worked, was that I would make sure that he was fairly hungry, begin
breastfeeding him, then after a few minutes, take him off the breast
and put the bottle in his mouth. The bottle was filled with breast
milk. For the first minute, he would take the bottle, no problem.
Then he'd wise up and reject it. I'd then do the breast-bottled
switch a few more times. I would do this everyday at the same time.
Gradually, he would take more and more of the bottle, until he
consistently would take a whole feeding from the bottle. Of course,
once he did this, I made sure to give him ! one bottle a day from then
on. I'd say that it took about a month of doing this before he would
take a full feeding from anybody at any time without any problem.
One important thing is to be patient. I found that it was worse for
my son if I forced him to take the bottle, or if I kept trying to give
it to him when he obviously didn't want it. I tried once to withhold
a feeding, thinking that if he got really hungry, he'd take the
bottle. This approach, however, did not work, as all it got me was a
lot of stress and crying from him. In my opinion, what worked was
offering hiim the bottle everyday at the same time when he was hungry,
but not starving, and if he fussed or was clearly not interested, I'd
put the bottle away, breast feed, and try it again the next day. I
believe that babies sense your mood, so if you act like it's no big
deal, it won't be a big deal to them, either. Good luck, and
remember, it may take some time for your baby to take a bottle, but it
can be done.
new mom
I have the same problem (began trying at 2 1/2 months old,
although she took bottle at 1 week old no prob)) and she's still
not taking the bottle at 10 months. So, don't know if I'm in a
good position to give advice, but this is what I heard might
work: use a latex nipple protector to get baby used to the feel
of latex bottle nipple (from Children's Hospital's excellent
advice line). Try to mimic your nipple shape with different
bottle nipples, have others try feeding the baby, or face
him/her away from you. Keep at it because the longer you wait,
the harder it gets. We're just skipping the bottle and going to
a sippee cup but she's now using breastfeeding as a pacifier
(big mistake!). She has the added complication of having GERD,
or acid reflux. You might want to rule out any other reason such
as this. Hope this helps and good luck!
g_i
Going back to work; 5-mo-old won't take bottle
1999
I just went back to work part time two weeks ago. Our baby, Lily, will
be five months on Feb. 20. She is breast fed and we tried to offer the
bottle to her starting at about six weeks but she never really took to
it. Now she becomes very upset when our babysitter gives it to her. (I
am pumping). She cries really hard and only drinks an ounce at most.
This weekend my husband tried the botttle (I left) and altho she didn't
cry she only drank about an ounce again. I have only been working
mornings, so leave her 5 1/2 hours at the most, so she nurses like crazy
after I pick her up. Aside from the feeding problem she seems happy and
stimulated with our babysitter. We've tried gerber and avent nipples.
She seems to prefer the brown gerber one. A possible solution is for me
to just work four half days until she takes to the sippy cup which I
tried today and she didn't swallow any milk but it's easier for me to
work two and a half days since it's a 30 minute drive. any ideas?
Thanks!
Andrea
I would like to ask for some advice regarding bottle-feeding. My
daughter is 3-1/2 months old and I just went back to work. I pretty much
exclsively breast fed her, although I gave her some bottles of breast milk
and a breast milk/formula combination that she took fine. A couple weeks
before I returned to work, we tried to give her bottles regularly, but she
refused (I tried and my husband tried, and we tried different types of bottles,
Avent, Evenflo, etc.). She refused them all. Since I went back to work (about
7 working days ago), she has followed this pattern: I breast feed her
before I go to work (approx 8am), she's fine until about 11am or 12 noon (she
refuses any bottles offered her, i.e., gnaws on the nipple a little and
then begins crying until the bottle is taken away), eats about 1 oz. later in
the afternoon (around 3 or 4pm), and then I breast feed her when I return
home. As the day wears on, she becomes inconsolable unless she is being held,
and cries a fair amount. FYI, we're feeding her breast milk in the bottles
and she is being offered bottles throughout the day. I breast feed her when
I am home. I am becoming very concerned because it just doesn't seem that
it's good for her to go ten hours (I get home around 6pm) with eating
only an ounce of milk. The pediatrician said to keep trying. Any advice?
Does anyone have advice on getting a 4 1/2 month old baby to take a bottle?
We didn't start trying until he was in his third month (probably too late)
and he still won't take it. I'm now back at work and the baby will spend a
good solid hour or more screaming because he wants to nurse. He never gets
to the point where he is "hungry enough to eat". We have tried practically
every bottle - avent, playtex, gerber, etc. and nothing seems to work. He
eats rice cereal and some solids but when he wants comfort, a nap or his
"usual" food he starts screaming. Any suggestions are welcomed. Thanks.
D.
I've been trying to introduce my now 4 month old baby boy to drinking
breast milk from a bottle for the last several weeks, with no success
at all. He spits the bottle out of his mouth without sucking at all.
It doesn't matter who offers it to him, or whether I'm around or not.
He's been completely uninterested in pacifiers since he was born, so he
has basically no experience sucking on anything but my breasts and his
own hands. Does anyone have any tricks to get him to accept a bottle?
Is it too late by now? I'd be VERY grateful for any ideas.
Rachel
We had a lot of trouble getting our second child to take a bottle when
she was about 4 months. It wasn't clear to me if you're giving breast
milk or formula - my baby was getting breast milk in the bottle. But what
seemed to have helped were these suggestions from my midwife (hooray for
Lindy Johnson!!):
1. don't just go to another room - leave the house
2. wear the bottle nipple in your bra for a day so it smells like you
3. put some of the milk on the outside of the nipple
Hang in there & good luck!
We switched our son over to the Playtex Avance bottles, which have
vented bottoms that also unscrew for easy cleaning, and special cross-cut
nipples to keep bubbles away from the baby. He has found it much easier
to get good flow with these and doesn't have to interrupt his sucking
pattern to let air in. They come in small and larger (9 oz.) sizes,
and cost $4-$5 at Longs, more at the supermarkets and Rite Aid when
you can find them.
I was told that it is very common for breastfed babies to reject a
bottle at around 4 or 5 months, even if they have taken it successfully
before. When my baby did it, we first tried switching to a faster flow nipple
(we also use Avent) -- this worked well for a while. You can try either
the slow or medium flow or you can get the variable flow and save a bit of
money. You might find that this is all you need: your baby may be
crying because the milk isn't coming out fast enough (if the new nipple is
*too* fast you'll know because s/he will cough or gag a bit -- not
dangerous, but a clear sign).
You can also try a few other things, many of which I and the mothers
in my new moms group tried: distract the baby -- ma bottle feeding "no big
deal" by walking around the house as you do it, talking about other
things, etc.; only feed a few ounces at a time instead of giving a
whole feeding at once -- if the baby wants more, give another small amount
(this has the added advantage of not wasting precious pumped milk -- if
s/he doesn't take it, you only throw out a little bit); have someone other
than mom give the bottle; try bottle feeding only when the baby is
really hungry (note: this technique backfired on me, since it only made
my baby angrier -- I had to do the opposite and try when she was *not*
very hungry, sometimes after nursing a little first); bottle feed at the
same time every day so your baby will come to expect it, then gradually
increase the number of bottles to what you'll need when you have child
care.
Finally, rest assured that your baby *will* get over this -- mine did,
and so did everyone else I've heard about.
I hope you are able to accompllish this but, if your baby steadfastly
and permanently refuses like my breastfed baby did, here's how we
dealt with it. [Note: I was having breast infection
problems until around 3 months during which time I was told I needed
to avoid the bottle while retraining my daughter to latch on
correctly. By then she was absolutely unwilling to switch.]
For the first two months after I returned to work, I took our
caregiver to work with me. She took the baby and
walked around campus and hung out in the engineering lounge during the
day and brought the baby to me every two hours to feed. I also
negotiated a special parking pass just for those two months as I fed
the baby in the car--- there was no private, comfortable place to sit
down. This worked until I decided it was too cold and rainy out.
Then I negotiated at work to take 2 one hour breaks during each day
and drove home then (15 minutes drive each way) to feed the baby so
she was breastfed every 3 hours. Did that for a while --
sometimes required that I come in on the weekend to
make up a few hours. Then I switched to half time work and negotiate
to work at home where I had childcare. Which is just to say that, if
your baby is as stubborn as mine, there may be a variety of
possibilities for dealing with this problem. Good luck.
We had a very similar situation. First thing: The newborn Avent
nipples hardly let any liquid through- try it yourself. If your
breasts ever leak milk, then the baby is getting milk a lot faster than
that avent nipple can provide (mine would squirt milk after lat down).
We (that is the daycare providers, who are a lot more experienced at this
than me) tried ALL the nipples and found that the nuk cross cut high flow
work best. The rubber ones, not the silicon. That said, my baby, now 14
months NEVER liked the bottle. He almost always cried when my husband or
the daycare people tried to give him the bottle (I was not in the house or
at the daycare). I worried alot about him getting enough milk at daycare.
Even now, his all time record for 9 hours of daycare is 5 oz of milk.
Usually, I'd leave him in daycare for about 7 hours, and he drank 3-4 oz
of breast milk from a bottle. My pediatrian assured me that this was fine-
he made up for it when he got hom, and at night. I got less worried after
he started to eat solids. Now he takes a sippy cup. We had no problem
with the transition from bottle to cup. However, he still drinks maybe 1-2
oz of anything (milk or juice) at a time. He is still nursing in the
evening and at night.
One consequence; my son still seems to save up his thurst for 6pm
when he sees me. He always nurses then, and I am very full, so I
think he gets a lot of milk then. He also still nurses twice a night,
despite our attempts to limit this. I think he drinks at night and not
in the day. I'm not worried at this point- I am sure he will be fine by
the time he is 20. Good luck!
From the time my daughter was 2 months until 4 1/2 months, she
absolutely refused to take a bottle. She started -- reluctantly -- only
about 2 weeks before I went back to work (after I had all but given up
hope). What worked for us was to experiment with different brands of
nipples (Avent didn't work, Johnson & Johnson's Healthflow did), to
have me be completely out of sight during feedings, and to have an
experienced bottle-giver do the feeding. The nanny was the one who
was finally able to get my daughter to take a bottle; someone
it to trying to give a cat a pill yourself, then watching a vet
do it. Since then, my daughter still has a clear preference
preference for drinking her milk straight from the source, but she
doesn't fight the bottle at all. I remember how much more stressful
stressful this made my return to work. Just keep trying different
approaches, and best of luck.
From: Leslie
When I returned to work, our daughter was 4 months old, and had only
taken one or two bottles before (I, too, introduced it WAY too late). We
tried many bottle/nipple variations -- none seemed to work. Then, at a
friends suggestion, we put the handles on the Avent bottle, and VOILA! She
took it like she'd been doing it all her life!
From: Heike
I had a similar situation when my baby started daycare at 7 months and
refused to take bottle and baby food from the daycare provider on her
first day. I immediately gave her the bottle when I went to pick her
up after 4 hours, but then switched hands with the daycare provider
holding the bottle half way through the feeding. I stepped behind the
provider's back (out of my baby's sight) and kept talking to my baby
throughout the remainder of the feeding. My baby must have had the
impression that the provider had my voice. For some reason that was
the turning point, and she willingly accepted bottle and food from the
daycare provider from that moment on. Hope it works for you too. I
don't know, I spontaneously came up with that idea back then - it's
nothing I read anywhere - maybe I was just plain lucky.
From: Kathy
We had this exact issue when I went back to work at 3 months. My daughter
had never had a bottle of anything or a pacifier (we had tried, she just
wouldn't use it), just breast milk. After several unsuccessful attempts we
did 2 things that eventually worked. 1) I left the house completely, not
just the room and 2) NUK nipples for the bottle (I found mine at Rockridge
Kids, they did not carry the right kind at Lucky's or Payless). I was
skeptical of this advice initially but the type of nipple really does make
a difference. A friend of mine actually had to go to a silicon vs. a
rubber nipple to finally have success. There are probably a good 5 or 6
different kinds of nipples and babies may react different to each. We had
unsuccessfully tried Platex, Advent and another angled kind of nipple (I
can't remember the brand name) before having success with the NUK.
From: Diane
Have you tried switching nipples? My baby is now one year old and was on
breast only for the first 3-3 1/2 month. I started to switch him to
bottled breast milk (just like you) around 3 1/2 month because I was going
back to work too at 4 months. I tried switching various nipples made by
different companies, different textures, and different shapes. Most
nipples are interchangable with the normal bottle except for the ones where
you use a disposable liner inside the bottle. So I bought one or two of
each nipple (and 2 of those wider bottles).
Also, I alternated between breast and bottle feeding. So if his first
feeding of the day was breast, then the next one was going to be bottle.
If he didn't eat much of it, I wouldn't give him the breast until it was
time for the 3rd feeding. So, he may go through 6 hours without much food.
But during this period, I would keep offering him the bottle. He ended up
taking an ounce or two around half way to the third feeding. This way, I
knew that even if he didn't eat enough of the bottle milk, he would still
get enough nutrient from the next feeding. I must warn you, that last 3
hours where they're crying and fussing is difficult because it's so easy
for us to just give in.
From: Heather
Have you tried using different kinds of nipples on the bottle? My son