Berkeley Parents Network
Google Custom Search
Home Members Post a Msg Reviews Advice Subscribe Help/FAQ What's New

Advice about Tipping

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Advice about Miscellaneous Things > Advice about Tipping


Questions Tipping ... Advice on Other Pages

Tip child's ski instructor?

April 2012

Every year, we go up to Tahoe, and our children take one or two all-day group ski lessons at one of the big resorts. There are usually about 5 students in each class, and the instructor has them from about 9:30 am to 3:30 pm. I am always torn about whether or not to tip. The lessons cost upwards of $150 a day per kid, but I know the resort gets a huge chunk of that, and the instructors are just working folks like ourselves...To tip or not to tip?? Any advice appreciated. Ski Mom


From what I read in the ski/snowboard forums I frequent, most resort instructors make $12-$15 per hour, and if they are not assigned to teach that day, they are free to ski/ride on their resort pass, but do not get paid for the time they are required to report at the resort but are not teaching. Higher certified instructors might make more, but they are most likely teaching privates, not kids groups.

When my child is in an all-day group lesson, I tip the instructor $10 if there are other kids in the group; $20 if it is a group lesson but my child is the only one in the ''group'' so it's basically an all-day private. That's my own tipping system, though, I don't know what is the norm.

I tip the instructor because my child can be difficult on the hill if he's having a bad day (IOW, grumpy because he had to get up out of bed early to make the drive to Tahoe), so anyone who can take him out riding all day and return him smiling while I spend the day off riding the fresh, deserves a tip. snowboarding mama


I was a ski instructor while I was in college. The tips that I received meant everything to me. Unless it's really busy, instructors don't make a lot of money. When I was full-time, I made $1,000 in a good month (this was $20 years ago). The majority of parents did not tip but I sure remembered the ones who did. Even $5 at the end of the day makes a difference. Having a little cash to go to the bar after work (or put gas in my car) was a great thing. Several parents gave large tips (up to $200) after I spent a week with their kids. Those tips helped me get from the ski resort to my next job at the end of the season. While it's not required, tipping your ski instructor is very, very appreciated. Grateful
I used to live in Squaw. Yes! Tip your ski instructor. They make a small hourly wage, and they don't work when the weather is too windy/rainy/snowy/no snow, but it's not like they can pick up work elsewhere during the season. They have no health insurance, or any benefits, except a ski pass. $20 makes a big difference to them. appreicate your peeps
Ski instructors don't get paid much, most of the price of the lesson goes to the resort. They have just spent their day skiing with you child, teaching your child to ski while you were off skiing. You don't have to go over the top, but a cash tip handed directly to the instructor is always appreciated. Ski mom
Yes, it is appropriate to tip the kids' ski instructors. My young adult children have both been ski instructors in their 20's, and yes, if you are happy with your child's experience when you pick them up, it is a common thing to do to tip the instructors. These instructors, usually young people, make very little money doing this and are only there because they love to ski and they love kids. And dealing with all the children's personalities and making them all happy and safe is REALLY hard work. frequent skiier

'Pump it Up' birthday party - do you tip?

Oct 2011

We are having a birthday party at Pump It Up and the reservation form says gratuities welcome. It would not have occurred to me to tip for this service and I'm wondering if this is a normal practice or not. Do you tip at Pump It Up? And if so, how much? Given that the price for the party with food is going to be over $400, and the service (from what I've seen as a guest at parties there) seems pretty minimal, taking a percentage of the bill seems excessive to me. I definitely don't want to stiff anyone, but also feel a bit annoyed at being asked to tip in a non-service situation. Maybe there is an element of service that I will see once I'm a host rather than a guest? BTW - I am a very generous tipper (20%+) at restaurants and service establishments, so this isn't about being cheap. Thanks for your input! anon


Frankly, no, we did not tip when our daughter had a party at the Oakland facility. The party we had at Oakland was pretty dismal though - the staff were perfectly awful so it was an easy decision not to tip (and e-mails to management went unanswered). But I would not have tipped anyway unless there was a particular person (or people) that went above and beyond the service we were already paying for. It will probably be an easy decision (to tip or not) when the party gets started and you see how things are run. - tipping can be too much
Yes, you should tip. The staff is present in the rooms with the jumpers and help out with the set up and clean up after your party. anon
We went to Pump it Up 3 or 4 times when our kids were small. We never tipped. It didn't seem necessary. The price is high enough and they don't do much. You pay up front so it is not like a restaurant. -parent of twins
That drives me crazy. I HATE being cajoled for tips, especially in a situation with little or no service. I've been to numerous parties at Pump It Up. I have never seen more service than pushing a cart of shoes from one room to the next, which isn't really service but just part of their system of having kids in two different rooms. The parents serve the food and watch the kids. I hate the whole system of tipping (have lived overseas and MUCH prefer the no tipping system there), though I am a good tipper at restaurants because it is the system and restaurant employees don't make minimum wage because tips are expected, but I don't tip for minimal service when I do most of the work (e.g. counter self-serve restaurants where I pick up my food and bus my own table). I would like to see tipping reserved for what it was originally meant to be for, i.e. especially good service, not just for carrying out the basic requirements of the job. Tip Hater
We've held 2 parties there and we tipped both times--10% I think, so around 35- 40 bucks. They do provide some service--mostly in the party room area. Setting up the cake, they'll cut it for you if you want, pouring the drinks, they do all the cleanup, etc. In the bouncy house rooms they are there, but to my mind did very little. They have all those rules on the video at the beginning, but none of the staff ever enforced any of them, which I thought odd. So I guess it's up to you. I am guessing they get paid very little, so I felt a tip was a reasonable thing to do. Former bouncer

Holiday Tipping/Gifts for professionals

Nov 2008

I'm hoping that professionals will read this and shower me with advice. What's an appropriate holiday gift/tip for all the professionals who make our lives easier? Massage therapists, hair stylists, gardeners, housekeepers, etc.? Money's a bit tight and their fees are steep, but I don't want them to go unacknowledged. Thanks! Grateful


I'm a massage therapist and Pilates trainer/personal trainer. Some clients give me extra money at holiday times, some give me a nice card of appreciation, small gifts, nothing. I work in an office with chiropractors and a few other practitioners. Often clients will bring a gift for everyone....a basket of fruit, chocolates, flowers, etc. Lots of people send cards.

My personal feelings are that there is really nothing that i NEED and since I don't eat sugar or gluten, those kind of gifts are a waste on me (I pass them on).

I don't EXPECT holiday gifts and I know it's hard for most of us to have to spend money on this person and that person....for me a card with a kind note is the nicest gift. If you MUST give a gift, how about a $10.00 gift card to a coffee shop, or Trader Joes or something like that. That's thoughtful, not extravagent and something most people can use. If you know something about what the person likes...food is always a great gift..wine, etc.

I do not tip my hair guy(we're friends), but I might bring him something baked, since I know he does like stuff like that. I also leave a card and bottle of wine for our trash collectors, cookies and card for our mail carrier. That's about it I think. I'd say if it feels like a burdon, don't do it. anon


Tipping at a spa

Nov 2007

I received a gift certificate for a Claremont-style spa for an all day body experience. This entails going to 4-5 different people for hair, nails, massage, facial, etc throughout an afternoon. My etiquette question: Do I tip individually as each service is rendered or do I leave a tip at the end of the day and they will split it up? I have never done this before so I am unfamiliar with the process. Any comments are welcomed. Ready for pampering


Leave a tip for each person. You'll find small envelopes (usually at the front desk)to enclose your tip. Write the person's name on the envelope so that it reaches her/him. Stacy
Having worked in several spas, I would recommend tipping each person individually. It sounds as though you are going to have a full day at the spa, and it is likely that staff will come and go during that time. It would be nice for your estheticians and therapists to receive a tip before leaving for the day. Also, if you tip individually, the front desk folks will not be tasked with finding a ''fair'' way to divide your tip among the therapists--nor will anyone be accidentally forgotten (typically the front desk folks are terribly busy). Also, if the facial is just absolutely amazing and the pedicure just OK, you will have the opportunity to appreciate each therapist in a way that reflects your experience (of course, I hope that everything is fantastic for you!). By the way, the usual range is 10-20%, depending on the quality of the experience. Ann
I always just tip at the end to make it easy. They'll sort it all out for you. The person at the desk will add whatever percentage you decide on to the whole bill and divvy it up between the service providers. Have a wonderful time and enjoy, lucky gal! Spa lover

Concierge tipping

Dec 2006

My family will soon be taking a vacation at a very nice resort. This is new to me as we are usually budget travelers. Therefore, although I want to use the services of the concierge, I do not know the proper etiquette for doing so. Do I give him/her $5 each time we talk or do I give him/her a larger sum ($50?) on our last day? Lisa


Oooh! Oooh! I know this one! We, too have traveled to nice resorts, and have stayed in some where the rooms cost about $400/$500 a pop. I mention this for context. NO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TIP THE CONCIERGE!!! Take it easy and see how it goes. If you really like the concierge, feel free to give them about $20 at the end of the visit. But that's if you really like them. If they set up a secret dinner so that you can propose to your wife or something... tip them $100 or whatever. But NO you do not have to tip them every time you ask them things. Relax, have a blast, and don't feel obligated. Just ... be appreciative hotel lover
Concierges get "tips" (also known as 'kickbacks') from the tour providers they recommend, from the restaurants, from the theatres, etc. No need to tip them, at all. The person to tip is the hardworking maid who cleans your hotel room each day. I'd give her at least $20 per day. Leave it in cash with a note that says "housecleaning - thanks!"

Tipping at the Counter

Nov 2004

It seems everybody wants tips these days by the prevalence of tip glasses and jars on counters everywhere, and I'm not sure when to tip and when not to tip. Every tip glass on a counter causes me guilt if I don't tip and even dirty looks from people who are basically doing a cashier service for me just like someone at a book store or shoe store.

I know that waiters get less than minimum wage becaues tips are supposed to make up the difference and they are taxed on their tips. I tip as generously as I can, always, usually over and never under 15% unless service was really bad. But people who work at counters, are they in the same boat? What am I tipping for exactly? Why am I expected to tip a person who sells me a pre-made sandwich after standing in a long line, and not someone who sells me a book? (Although I've run into a tip jar here and there at a book store and other non-food related places).

I am aware that people are all struggling and could use a little extra. I could use a little extra too and adding a quarter to an already expensive $2.75 cup of coffee has put me over the edge. I make my own (the inflation on a latte no where near matches inflation in general!). But in many cases there seems to be more of an entitlement (dirty look people, not so nice tip signs in the glasses badly disguised as humorous) than a good service mentality about it.

So, does anyone have any guidelines to follow? If I had it to give I would. Not having it, how do I do it fairly for me and them and to whom. Thanks With the best intentions


I agree with you, I'm a bit tired of seeing tip jars everywhere. When I'm in a restaurant, I always tip very well. Here's what I do with tip jars at coffeshop counters: I tip if someone is making a fancy coffee drink, say a latte, or if they're making a sandwich. If all they're doing is pouring coffee into a cup or taking a cookie out of a jar and then handing it to me, I don't tip. I know that many of the people working in these establishments aren't making tons of money, but neither am I -- so, if there is a ''service'' associated with what they're doing, I tip. Hope this helps. Kim
Tipping is optional. If you feel the counter person has given you exceptional service, you can leave some change in the jar. Ordinary service doesn't earn a tip. If they give you a dirty look when you don't tip, I'd take my business elsewhere... and let the business owner know why I left. Tipping should not be extortion
I understand your dilemma. These are tough economic times and many of us are counting our pennies... In the past I have held a variety of service-related jobs, including two you've mentioned: working at a book store, and the ''barista'' gig. At both jobs I felt literally run off my feet, and the cafe job pay was so low that I counted on the tips to pay for such ''extras'' as bus fare. (I've never worked at a bookstore that had a tip jar-- though it would've been nice to be tipped for being well-read or at least for knowing what the title of ''that-book-that-was-on-Oprah-last-week'' was called!) That being said, at my cafe jobs, *nobody*-- not I or anyone I worked with, as far as I know-- expected to be tipped for orders that were ''to go'' unless they were very complicated (for example, someone ordering several different kinds of drinks/snacks to be taken back to the office). That meant that roughly 75% of the time, we didn't expect to be tipped. We did however hope that the people who ordered drinks ''for here'' would leave a little something in the tip jar-- even a nickel-- because we served ''here'' drinks in glasses, which had to be washed by hand (no dishwasher!), and because the ''please bus your own table'' signs were merely a suggestion, and most customers did leave behind their glasses (not to mention spilled drink, spilled sugar, crumpled napkins, used kleenex, etc. etc.) which had to be cleaned up by *someone*. So if you can at all afford it, a nickel or dime or the occasional quarter will do.

As for those ''clever'' tip jar signs, I too have noticed that they are getting more & more sarcastic, but I believe that isn't really aimed at the individual customer, but at society at large and the owners of cafes who often turn a nice profit at the expense of their staff. It *is* ridiculous that a simple drink, such as a single mocha, now sets one back as much as $3 (I think that's what they charge at Peet's and elsewhere now.)In the Bay Area, it is widely agreed that the ''living wage'' is around $12/hour; most of your baristas make around $7 or, if they stick around a few years at the same place, $8 or $9. Just something to keep in mind... Been Behind the Counter


I don't know that there are any guidelines for tipping at the counter. Personally, I tip if the counter person goes beyond the call of duty (like if I have a particularly difficult order) or if I go there a lot.

But I wanted to clarify that in California, waiters and counter people are paid /at least/ minimun wage, in addition to their tips. Employers are not allowed to pay them less than the minimun wage, regardless of how much they make in tips. In addition, in places like San Francisco, the minimun wage for servers is higher than the state minimun wage. anon


Boy, do I agree with you, and I no longer routinely tip at counters. It doesn't make sense to me, as you say, and I feel rather blackmailed. However, if the person helping me has actually done some or all of the preparation of my order, and/or is particularly nice, I do leave a very modest tip (nothing at all resembling a tip for a real waitperson). anon
Well, I am curious to hear what others have to say about this, but I do not have a concrete answer. However, I do have further information. For one thing, in the state of California, servers do make minimum wage and then tips on top of that. It is true that in some states they do make less than minimum wage, but not here. As a former server, I think there is a BIG difference between working in a restaruant and being a cashier type person. Working in a restaraunt is EXTREMELY hard and if you get a good server, who takes good care of you, go ahead and give her/him those extra two dollars and give them a 20% tip (Believe me they deserve it).

However, I am with you as far as all of this tip jars go, I rarely leave a big tip, maybe my change. The only exception is if the person goes out of their way to help me in some way, but they don't get the money anyway---at least not all of it. My sister- in-law used to work at Peats and they would take the tip jar and divide it between everyone that worked there that day. Having said that, I look at them as optional. There are some places where i go quite often and have a relationship with the employees and i will tip there. I can't wait to hear what everyone else says about this. Old school ex-waitress


I routinely DO tip at the counter because I know that the people who work there are not earning very much. I often use my own cup to get coffee and leave that dime I save in the tip jar. Or I leave the difference between the cost of my drink and the next even dollar. Around holiday times, or whenever I feel like it, I play Mommy Warbucks and leave a whole dollar bill. In our society it's impossible to get by on minimum wage, and although I don't think it's my job to support other people who earn less than I do (I would prefer that rich folks, like Arnold, take care of that), I still feel a responsibility to people who are less fortunate than I. It's good that they have jobs. It's bad that the jobs pay so little that tips are necessary. anon

Tipping the garbage man

Nov 2003

The holidays are coming and I'd really like to tip our garbage men. Any advice on how to do this other than to get up at 5:30am and wait to hear the truck? I know some people leave an envelope taped to the lid, but that doesn't sound too safe. Any ideas welcome. Ellen


I don't generally tip the garbage men but I do leave money for them when I have a large load for them to take. I generally just tape an envelope labeled '' for Waste Management'' on the top of the can. I do not live on a busy street so I suppose theft isn't a big issue but if you leave it out late at night the chances of it being taken is less. One time the recycling man took the money even though it was not on a recycling trash can. But he took the garbage too. Go figure. anon
We have always chosen a yummy food item that could be shared with more than one person in case there was more that one guy that day. We then wrap it and put in on top of the can with a BIG tag saying ''for the Garbageman''. I don't think it has ever gotten stolen but if it does its just chocolate or cookies or something, not cash. We also do the same for the mailperson. Suzie
I'm glad you asked about tipping the garbage men. I feel too few people do it these days. We always give money to the garbagemen, the postman, and the newspaper deliverers. We used to give food, coffee from Peets, even wine, but discovered that what they really wanted was money. I tape two envelopes to the top of the garbage can, since I know we have two garbage men, with $5 in each envelope and a card. I used to give $10 each, but money has been tight. I tried taping the envelopes inside the lid but more often than not they didn't see it and then I would have to run after the truck. We do live on a quiet street but in all the years I've been doing this it's never been stolen. I give $20 or more to the mailman since we have alot of mail. I give $5 to the newspaper deliverers. I would give money to the recycle guy but I haven't figured out an easy way to do it. I feel like we get great service from these people and I like to acknowledge it, even if it's not that much money. I figure if everyone did it, it would really add up! I'm glad you're thinking of these. Grateful Holiday Giver

Tipping the Caterers

Oct 2003

My mom just called me with a question regarding my sister's wedding reception and I told her I knew exactly where to go for answers!! She wants to know what is appropriate for tipping the caterers for the wedding reception (cooks, servers, guy in charge= 22 people all together). On the contract, there is a 10% service charge, but she was told that is not the tip, if she chooses to give a tip it would be on top of that charge. So, does she give a full 15-20% tip, or deduct that 10% and give a 5-10% tip? Also, should she give cash that evening (which could be a large amount of cash) or put in on the credit card with the bill before hand? And one more thing, should she split up the tip among the 22 people (which sounds like a pain to me) or should she give the full amount to the person in charge and let him split it up? Thank you...my mom, sister , and I appreciate your help! Mary Jo


The standard gratuity for a catered event is 10-20% of the service charge. You don't need to tip 10-20% of the entire bill (like food and equiptment). In other words, if the service charge for your event is $5k-tip the staff $500-$1000 (I think you said there were 22 staff, so that would work out to about $20-$40 per person). You mentioned that there is already a service charge built in-what is that for, exactly? Many companies do this, but I'm curious what justifies this charge.

What do you give to house cleaners, gardeners, etc?

Dec 2002

What do people give to house cleaners (only come 2 hours a week), the gardeners, garbage men, mailman, and part-time babysitters - the 3 or 4 people we use once a month more or less. I really don't have time to do personal gifts and/or bake. Would some nice chocolates and a CD sound like the right combo (less than $20 per person)? It looks like someone asked a similar question a few years back but there were no answers posted. Thanks. In the 'giving' spirit


As a professional gardener for many years, I have received both gifts and cash bonuses from my clients. I personally most appreciate the cash, especially since the rainy season can be a strain financially. anonymous
we give our garbage men and maillady gift certificates. last year, we gave gift certificates to blockbuster video. that way, they can choose a gift that suits them well. jennifer
Call me lazy and crass, but I'd just give the cash. A nice crisp bill with an appreciative note is a great gift, in my experience. I look at it this way -- I'd much rather my own boss give me cash. And $20 sounds good for the types of things you mention. Fran
My experience is that most people with those types of jobs (except maybe the babysitters) have many customers and most often appreciate a cash bonus more than little gifts from people who don't know them well enough to know what they like. I give at least the equivalent of a week's pay or more if it seems warranted. Another busy mom
Home   |   Post a Message  |   Subscribe  |   Help   |   Search  |   Contact Us    

this page was last updated: Jul 31, 2012


The opinions and statements expressed on this website are those of parents who subscribe to the Berkeley Parents Network.
Please see Disclaimer & Usage for information about using content on this website.    Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network