Berkeley Parents Network: Christmas and Gift Giving

Berkeley Parents Network

Christmas and Gift Giving

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Gift Ideas for Kids & Family

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Christmas Gifts for ...

Christmas Gift for Comfortable Inlaws

Nov 2008

Financially speaking, my inlaws are very ''comfortable'' so can buy anything they want or need. And since we don't live near them I am not good at recognizing what would suit them. On the other hand, with my own parents that live nearby, I always know what to get for them because I know they could always use a new (fill in the blank) and they are fond of (fill in the blank). My inlaws are good at buying gifts for us, things that we really would never buy ourselves, that just take up room, like, Christmas tableware and decorations that are not our taste, yet I do use them (because they were a gift) and I really appreciate the thought and the gesture. I feel like I have a hard time buying something when I know it's just extraneous ''stuff.'' My husband and I try to be environmentally conscious, try to buy things used when possible, and try to avoid a lot of unnecessary stuff to prevent waste and keep our footprint smaller when we can, but we are suckers sometimes for some of the latest technology to go with our computer or what not. And Christmas time is the biggest sucker time for us. Back to my inlaws: any suggestions for around $100 that would be appreciated and hopefully at least somewhat useful? anon

How about food, be it snacks, prepared meals, or grocery? Floral delivery or seed delivery if they like to garden. Fruit baskets? Chocolates? Box of statinery or correspondence cards. Crystal

What about a digital picture frame. You can get them at Best Buy for about $100 (some are less, depending on size) and load it with a few pictures to get them started. That is what I plan on doing for my in-laws and filling it with pictures of my kids. Just a thought. Anon Anon

If you need to give them, or they will be slighted if they don't get, a ''thing'', then my advice might not be helpful. But otherwise, consider a gift card from donorschoose.org, a non-profit web-based organization that matches teachers in need of funds for basic and enrichment projects with donors who can give any amount of money. It is really fun to find a project or type of school/classroom you care about, and to help that teacher buy furniture, supplies, books, etc. The gift cards allow you to fund a donation for the receiver, but the receiver can choose where to give the gift card funds. MANY of my relatives, some of whom have expressly asked not to receive ''things'', will be receiving these gift cards this Christmas. Liz O.

I suggest making a donation to an organization or cause that they support in their honor. We do this for all of our extended family and they are always thrilled that we have done something meaningful rather than givng them a token that they don't really need! Maggie

Ah, this is my favorite kind of question! I too have ''comfortable'' in-laws, and it is ALWAYS a huge challenge, so i will look forward to the others who answer. As for me, we have had success giving the following:

1. photos of grandkids
2. gift cards to a really nice local (where they live) restaurant (I
usually find out in the course of casual conversation)
3. annual pass to one of their favorite museums
4. overnight at a nice B&B/hotel
5. gift cards to local theater company/orchestra/opera/whatever

Sometimes it hasn't worked, but for the most part, they have seemed quite pleased. Good Luck!

What about a donation in their name to a charity that your in-laws support? I started doing this when I realized that my father didn't need another book, DVD, trinket, whatever. He always supported the Boys and Girls' Club, so now I make yearly donations, at the holidays and on his birthday. He loves it! And we both know that the gift is going where there is real need. Carolyn

I'll tell you what I want: an AEROGARDEN!!! kevin

Do you have small kids? Have the kids make them pictures and then frame them. Or go to one of the online photoshops (I like snapfish.com but there are many others) and make them a calendar with pictures of your family for them to enjoy all year long. These are some things that I've done for years and the family always appreciates it. I've also made some mugs on snapfish too. there are lots of relativly low cost and low stress options there. Good luck! M

If you think they'd appreciate it, you could make a donation in their honor to one of their favorite charities. When I do this with my parents, I usually supplement it with a paperback I've enjoyed during the year or some other small gift. Pam

I would do a Google search of their town, and find a notable or famous restaurant, or just a highly recommended one, and buy a gift certificate. You can have it mailed to them, or mailed to you, so you can put it inside a nice, personalized card, and then mail it to them. They can go and have a nice dinner (or two) on you. I don't know if you have kids, but you can always do a ''grandma & grandpa gift'' with your kids names on it, or with your kids' artwork included. Try some websites like PersonalCreations.com, where you can personalize gifts (jewelry, clothes, blankets, keepsakes, mugs, artwork...). Good luck! heidi

I know they live in a different city, but you could find (via the internet) a local playhouse or restaurant that has gift certificates. My in laws have made it clear they don't really want anymore ''stuff.'' So, we get them tickets to a show or a certificate to a nice restaurant near them. Also, food gifts are great. We have had great luck with wine and gourmet baskets for out of town relatives. You can do ones heavier in fruit if they are health conscious. Lastly, living or flowering gifts are always appreciated, especially some of the lovely flowering bulb gifts that can provide some indoor color in the winter and late spring. All of these types of gifts are readily available for online ordering and direct shipping, so it is very easy to do. Here are some companies I have used successfully for these types of gifts: http://www.fancifullgiftbaskets.com http://www.calyxflowers.com http://www.smithandhawken.com

I'm in somewhat the same situation with my extended family, parents, siblings, siblings' spouses, nieces and nephews. We're all reasonably affluent now (no one's rich) and usually can buy ourselves those little extra somethings when we want to. But we have a long tradition of Christmas presents. And we all live hundreds or thousands of miles apart.

A solution that I came up with a couple of years ago was to make a donation to a charity in that person's name and then to give them a little something extra: a book, a CD. I try to pick charities that have some particular interest to the person. For example, my brother and sister-in-law really love dogs, so I give money to an animal rescue site, then find a cute little something for their dogs. For my father two years ago, I gave money to a fund that was helping small businesses in New Orleans rebuild, then gave him a CD of New Orleans jazz. A good site to find such gifts (and some charities themselves) is thehungersite.come, where you can click through to various worthy causes, give them a little money, and order gifts that will help those causes too. I helped pay a teacher's salary in Afghanistan for my mother and bought her a lovely pashima shawl from the same area.

So far everyone has been quite happy with this. It gives them the warm glow that comes from doing good, and they get a little something for themselves too, which (of course) we all like. Dianna

My parents are also pretty comfortable, and we very often buy them gift certificates at their favorite restaurant where they live in Florida. They love getting this as a gift. Maybe that could work for you. Gift giver

How about making a donation in their name? We always do that for our family members who are well off. They don't ''need'' anything and there are so many people who are honestly in need. Our family members are very happy with this kind of present. give in their name

Hi there- when we were in a similar situation, we established a practice of donating to a charity in the recipient's name. It takes some work to find one that is close to the recipient's heart - but it has always been appreciated, especially if the charity provides a gift acknowledgement to them. This way, you can give to the ones that are truly needy, and delight your inlaws all the same. trying to make it Happy Holidays for all

Instead of ''stuff'' for Christmas how about an experience? I think that this is a good idea, no matter how much money or space someone has. How about tickets to a play, concert, or restaurant? Or a night at a B & B? Or a membership at a museum? Another idea is food. It only takes up space for a short while - very nice chocolate, or olive oil, or wine. A basket of gourmet goods from our local producers would be nice - there are local chocolate (Charles), cheese (Cow Girl Creamery), olive oil (Round Pond and others), and of course wine makers to choose from. There's Rancho Gordo that does dried beans. Full Belly Farm offers gift baskets. Most of these places will even ship for you. Too Many Geegaws

Dear Gift-buyer, I have a similar situation with my in-laws. I would suggest you check out the nonprofit charity called Heifer International. It's a pretty incredible organization - in case you haven't heard of it, they allow you to purchase a farm animal for a family in need. The families live in the Ukraine, South America, Asia, Africa - all over. The family is expected to raise the animal, and hopefully benefit from the animal (for ex, sell or use its milk or eggs) and then benefit from the offspring as well. To give you an idea of the prices: One llama is $150, one goat is $120, one sheep is $120, one pig is $120. A set of tree seedlings: $60, a trio of rabbits: $60. Honeybees - $30. A flock of chicks or ducks/geese is $20. Their catalog can be found at www.heifer.org/catalog

It's a pretty fantastic organization. Sixty Minutes did a great piece on them once. If you check out the catalog you'll get to read about them and their mission in much better detail than I can provide here.

Another idea, though more money than you want to spend (perhaps you could go in on this with other family members): an electric composter, which apparently fits into a standard kitchen cabinet. Apparently you can purchase one for $300 at naturemill.com Final suggestion: photo books and photo calendars of your best photos from the year. Last year we made my MIL a photo calendar, including shots of all the family members, indicating their b-days on the calendar, etc, and she claimed it was one of the best gifts she had ever received. Photo mugs are good too. Just make sure you put the order in soon enough for it to arrive on time - this is a popular thing to do, and I think it gets really jammed in the second half of Dec.

A photo book of the entire year's pictures can be really fabulous, too - you can add captions for the pictures, and an extensive book would probably be in the range of what you want to pay ($100-ish). It's time consuming to make them (but also fun) so don't leave it til the last minute. good luck! Mari

I'd get them a digital picture frame and put pictures of the family in it. In laws love that stuff (no matter how comfortable they are) and you can help them change the pics to whatever they want in the future - vacations, pets, friends, grandkids, whatever! They're right around $100 and they sell them everywhere - I saw one at Bed, Bath & Beyond last month. You are so thoughtful to want to get them something nice - they're lucky to have you as a daughter-in-law. Happy Xmas Shopping!

One gift I've given the past couple year's to my Mom & Grandmother (who need nothing else) is a calendar w/ pictures of my daughter. I've produced these through Shutterfly. It is really simple to make & a great keepsake. I take a lot of photos so I try to pick one to a few pictures for each month that I took the previous year. My family has really appreciated this simple gift. Jennifer

Christmas Gifts for Household Helpers

Dec 2002

What do people give to house cleaners (only come 2 hours a week), the gardeners, garbage men, mailman, and part-time babysitters - the 3 or 4 people we use once a month more or less. I really don't have time to do personal gifts and/or bake. Would some nice chocolates and a CD sound like the right combo (less than $20 per person)? It looks like someone asked a similar question a few years back but there were no answers posted. Thanks. In the 'giving' spirit

As a professional gardener for many years, I have received both gifts and cash bonuses from my clients. I personally most appreciate the cash, especially since the rainy season can be a strain financially. anonymous

we give our garbage men and maillady gift certificates. last year, we gave gift certificates to blockbuster video. that way, they can choose a gift that suits them well. jennifer

Call me lazy and crass, but I'd just give the cash. A nice crisp bill with an appreciative note is a great gift, in my experience. I look at it this way -- I'd much rather my own boss give me cash. And $20 sounds good for the types of things you mention. Fran

My experience is that most people with those types of jobs (except maybe the babysitters) have many customers and most often appreciate a cash bonus more than little gifts from people who don't know them well enough to know what they like. I give at least the equivalent of a week's pay or more if it seems warranted. Another busy mom

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