How Much to Spend on Gifts
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How Much to Spend on Gifts
Dec 2004
Our 14 year old daughter wants to give a good friend an
expensive gift, a guitar. She says he has stuck by her
this year. I know her heart is big, but, by my values, I
think it is too much for someone her age. If its her
money, do I say anthing, let her make her own decision,
or is there another strategy?
cynthia
The way to help a teenager make a decision is to talk about
the pros and cons of each choice and possible senarios.
Some examples. If you give an expensive gift, it will make
you both feel happy, but you will have less money to spend
on yourself. What if you part ways soon after the gift is
given? Would you like it if she gave you a very expensive
gift or if she gave you a very inexpensive gift? Is there
some other more appropriate way to show your appreciation?
Your teenager doesn't have to give you an answer. The idea
is to get them thinking and get them to develop a decision-
making process.
sunsolsal
Please tell her its inappropriate to give a friend an expensive gift --
no matter how good a friend he is. Her big heart is a nice thing, but
the reason teenagers HAVE parents is to help at times like this. I
would tell her that whether the money is in her possession or not, it
isn't her decision to make -- at this age. She'll understand later. If
you've previously told her the money is her's to spend as she
wants... I guess I'd still ask her not to do it.
Has she considered just saying ''Thank you for being such a good
friend''? In the long run it means more -- does she really think she
needs to reward people for caring about her???
Good luck,
Been There too
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