Advice about Circumcision
Berkeley Parents Network >
Advice about Health >
Advice about Circumcision
I read the posted advise about ''ballooning penis'' and was so
relieved... i didn't however read anything about
the ''ballooning'' causing a Urinary Tract Infection.
Our son who is 2 1/2 and is potty training (he's really good at
holding his pee, almost to good!) recently got a UTI. our Ped.
(Kiser) said it's because of the ''ballooning'' she said there is
back flow which caused the Infection. She has scheduled an
ultra-sound for his kidneys to make sure the infection did not
go there. He had bleeding with the UTI. They also want us to
see a Ped. Urologist.
Naturally we are so happy to have not circumcized, and are
scared to do anything that will hurt/traumatize him. so i
wonder has anyone had experience with this type of problem?
I hate to be the bearer of the ''bad news'' but here goes. Keep
aware of the foreskin that does not retract (2 is early but keep
yr eyes open for when/if it does and talk to yr ped periodically
about it). Talk to a ped urologist. We too did not circumcise
either of our boys. We did not want to hurt our kids. However, my
older son's foreskin never did fully retract. It ballooned when
he peed. He got UTIs.
He's now six. We went to a ped urologist and are now on our
second three week round of a steroid cream with him and that
entails retacting his foreskin twice a day which is clearly
uncomfortable for him. The urologist sd since we had some (a
little) retraction he'll let us try a third time before
recommending we circumcising him. Can you imagine, a six year
old, already aware of some inkling of his sexuality, already
embarrassed in front of his peers about his underpants showing,
having to explain why he missed school to have a painful
procedure on his penis?
Now I wouldn't say I regret not circumcising him but I do
reconsider whether I can always protect him from pain. Much in
the same way my friends who didn't give their kids chicken pox
shots MERELY for the ''protection of pain'' argument regret having
to see their kids incredibly uncomfortable scratching and having
to stay home from work for a week or more with them.
I hope your son is ok and I hope this hasn't seemed harsh but
stay on top of it and please be open to trying anything that may
My son, who is not circumcized, was also
experiencing ''ballooning''. I asked my Kaiser pediatrician
about it, and she too referred me to the pediatric urologist in
Oakland. What a horrible experience my son and I had with that
guy! Not only did he make us wait 45 minutes past our
appointment time without an apology from him, his manner was
dismissive. He said my son had phimosis, and then prescribed a
steriod cream to stop the ''problem.'' He told me to apply the
cream twice a day, and pull back the foreskin until the penis
was able to be seen. He said that if the cream did not work,
he would then recommend circumcision. Like the naive new mom
that I was, I followed his instruction. After several weeks,
he was very pleased to see that the foreskin retracted as he
said was required (on an 18 month old!) He allowed me to go
home with intact son. Sometime afterwards, my son came down
with a horribly painful UTI, which was dismissed by yet another
wonderfully uninformed doctor in the ER! Fortunately,
thereafter, I did alot of homework, and stopped the steroid
cream. I only hope now that my son's penis is not scared by
the forced retraction that ''pediatric urologist'' required me to
do! My advice to you is to learn as much as possible about
uncircumcized penises, UTIs, etc. BEFORE you talk with the
pediatric urologist, who may try to get you to do things that
may not be in your son's best interests... e.g. circumcize him,
put steroid cream on his foreskin, forceably retract his
Still fuming two years later!
I just want to highly recommend the Pediatric Urologist at
Oakland Kaiser, Dr. Krishnan and his doctor's assistant, whose
name I forget. They made the exam and treatment so much easier
for our son by being light-hearted and quick and kind. It sounds
like that's who you'll be seeing so just know you're in good
hands. Dr. Krishnan also comes highly recommended by two
different Pediatricians I respect at Kaiser.
Our son has a different problem with his kidney/reflux, etc. We
are also with Kaiser and think the pediatric urologist and
pediatric nephrologist are WONDERFUL. Especially the urologist. I
think that after you see the urologist you will not be worried,
and you will fully understand your son's condition, treatment
options, etc. No real advice, just commiseration, but it sounds
like you have a solvable problem - it'll all be OK.
My son is now 11 years old, and continues with the ''ballooning penis'' when he
pees, but has never had a UTI. I have not taken him in to the pediatric urologist,
but have spoken with them, and they always tell me it is a problem and recommend
the steroid cream. Well, it doesn't seem to be a problem for my son. I feel that the
intact penis is not part of the culture of urology in this country yet. I remember
reading that in Europe, the boys are not troubled by the ''ballooning penis'' so I
decided not to worry about it at this point. Also I think the age of when the foreskin
''should'' retract is also not known for sure.
I didn't see the original post, but I would say one UTI can be random, and you might
do the wholistic things we all do for UTIs, more water, cranberry juice. But if your
son has many UTIs you may want to pursue more the medical model with the
Have you all read the recent news about circumcision reducing the
rate of HIV infection? What do you all think of that? We did
not circumcise our son at birth, and now that he's in elementary
school it's really hard to think of doing that. But the studies
are compelling. I can't figure out what to think about it all.
Anyone have clearer thoughts?
[Editor note] here is the Dec 14 article from the New York Times:
"Circumcision appears to reduce a man's risk of contracting AIDS from
heterosexual sex by half, United States government health officials
said yesterday, and the directors of the two largest funds for fighting
the disease said they would consider paying for circumcisions in high-risk
countries." (see link for the rest of the article)
My thought is: safe sex is close to 100% effective (make sure
partner has been tested AND use protection), and it doesn't
my two cents
I have three sons, all of whom are circumcised. If they were not
circumcised, would I circumcise them now? Probably not. However,
if anyone asked me whether to circumcise their infant son I would
say defintely yes. We've known for a few years now that
circumcised men have a lower rate of STDs and other infections.
Their partners fare better too - studies (in Western countries,
not developing countries) show that circumcision significantly
reduces the rate at which men infect women with the virus that
causes cervical cancer. Now, this dramatic news about reducing
HIV risk. There's a long history of circumcision among Jews and
Muslims - it isn't some new thing people just thought up for no
good reason. I see a lot of good reasons for circumcision and
I don't see the downside. For me, it makes a lot of sense.
Mom of boys
I am a pediatrician who didn't circumcise her son either, and I
wouldn't do anything differently as a result of this new
research (and even if I were to have another son tomorrow, I
still wouldn't circumcise him). To my way of thinking, these
kinds of decisions always involve analysis of risks vs.
benefits which may differ over time and from one situation to
another... the prevalence of HIV in Africa is much higher than
it is here. Also, as far as I know, a similar study has not
been done in U.S., meaning that circumcision may not confer the
same benefits against HIV here because the various
epidemiological issues are so different. I would also worry
about a false sense of security--meaning that a man circumcised
for this reason might feel he can safely forgo condom
protection, which is definitely not the case. Also, it's such
an irrevocable thing-- once you remove the foreskin, it's
pretty hard to restore (although there are those men determined
enough to try). What if your son grows up to be a man who
decides his foreskin might have been really useful and
important after all, and is bummed because his parents took
that decision out of his hands? MAYBE mass circumcision makes
some sense in Africa as a public health measure to address the
overwhelming AIDS crisis, but I believe making the decision to
circumcise or not an individual boy should take into account
Think about why you didn't circumcise your son in the first
place. (I didn't circumcise mine either)
If you're that concerned about him getting HIV (or any other
STD), at the appropriate time, teach him about safe sex and/or
abstinence; both are more than 50% effective at preventing the
spread and contraction of HIV without causing him any physical pain
I am a scientist who works with several medical doctors who
specialize in the infectious diseases of East Africa. I haven't
read the studies myself but the information in the NYT article is
very well presented and makes sense from a scientific point of
view. Circumcision probably does decrease the spread of AIDS in
I am also a mother with an uncircumcised son. We decided not to
circumcise him because frankly we just didn't care one way or
another and figured if he decided he wanted to get circumcised he
could do that, but if we had circumcised him he couldn't get
One thing to keep in mind is that circumcision would reduce the
risk of contracting AIDS following UNPROTECTED sex. I think that
your son and mine would benefit much more from being taught to
always, always, always practice safe sex than they would benefit
Another thing to consider is that the rate of AIDS infection is
astronomically higher in Africa than it is here. The risk of our
sons contracting AIDS here is quite low, and if we teach them
about safe sex it is very very low. By circumcising them, we
might be reducing their risk of contracting AIDS by half but it
might be more like reducing it from 0.0002% to 0.0001% rather
than from 20% to 10%. (Note that I'm just pulling those numbers
out of my head for illustrative purposes. I don't actually know
what the risk of infection from AIDS will be in 15 years)
I think that the news from Africa is significant, but I am not
going to get my son circumcised as a result. My father-in-law
sent us an article with the same question looming around it. I
believe that when my son is old enough to be sexually active,
we can let him know about the dangers (along with all of the
other dangers of living) of HIV/Aids, if that will even be
relevent in the US in fifteen years. We all make decisions
with the best intentions given the information we have at the
we are worried because after our sons circumcision, some of the
skin reattached (crept back up and stuck to the head of the
penis). we had it pulled back again when he was a few months old
and put ointment on it daily, but it once again crept back up.
our son is now 2 years old and we have seen a urologist who
didn't really give us an answer as to what to do. he said we
could either have an in-office surgery and pull it back again, or
do nothing. he said that enough foreskin was taken off, but
there is an obvious readhesion. it will eventually pull back
itself, but it might not be until he becomes sexually active and
that would obviously be very humiliating. Please, has anyone
else had any experience with this or have any advice to give?
feeling afraid of surgery
Our son had the surgery to correct an incomplete circumcision that was causing
adhesions. I think they called it a ''re-circ,'' something no parent of a new
wants to think about!. It was also the name of a button on my car's air
system. It was performed under general anesthesia while my son was undergoing
another operation, at age 18 months. I don't know if this is the same procedure
your son would have, since you say there is no excess skin. It worked perfectly,
though it required lots of stitches and about a week of pain / antibiotic
the incision. Yuck. I do remember that there was a prescription cream we tried
-- betamethasone??-- which didn't work for us but certainly might in a less severe
case. How bad is the in-office procedure? If it involves stitches and more than a
or two of pain, I would try the cream or just waiting it out. I do remember our
urologist saying that it's not good to keep pulling the adhesions back all the
can cause scarring and encourage a buildup of more adhesions, something like that.
Feel free to contact me if you have any further questions.
My 4 year old uncircumcised boy is having recurring balanitises
(sp? balaniti?) and we're thinking about possibly considering
circumcision. I really don't want to. My husband doesn't want
to. My husband and other son are both intact and 1. We all think
they should all be the same and 2. I really don't want to put him
through the pain of surgery, which is one reason we chose not to
do it in the first place. The problem is that we're having a
terrible time keeping it clean, and teaching him to keep it
clean. Whenever we go near ''the area,'' he practically freaks out
and pushes us away. I can understand him not wanting to be
touched, and feeling violated, but no matter how we try he
doesn't understand that this needs to be done so that he doesn't
have ''hot pee pee'' anymore (that's what he calls it. So sad!)
Has anybody done this? Has anybody chosen curcumcision for an
older child? Does anybody have any other suggestions? Thanks much
My younger son had the same problem, if he went even a day without a
good tub, he would get the infection. At first our doctor advised
waiting it out, hoping the foreskin would become more retractable, but
the sitiuation didn't improve. Finally when he was 7.5 we went to a
urologist(this is all through Kaiser Oakland) who recommended a course
of treatment with a particular cortisone cream, to reduce the scar
tissue from previous infection( phimosis) and allow the foreskin to
fully retract again- it was like a miracle- problem solved! He is now
9.5 years old and has not had an infection since the treatment almost 2
years ago! I don't remember the name of the cream but your doc. should
be able to find it- it is well worth trying in order to avoid surgery,in
my opinion! (By the way my son objected to the ''cream'' because he was
afraid it would get him banned from his baseball team! He though he
would get enmeshed in the Balco scandal by using ''steroid cream''!)
Good luck- Susan
Good for you for wanting to keep your son penis ''as is'' and for
looking for alternatives to circumcision. Our son is also intact and,
while he hasn't had recurrent infections, he has always been very
sensitive to anyone touching his penis, even himself. Does your son's
foreskin retract at all yet? What we did at that age when we had to
check his penis or treat it for something is tell him, while sitting in
the bath, that either he had to pull back the foreskin or we had to.
Sometimes we just had to repeat it, over and over. We wanted him to
understand that it had to be done so that his penis could stay healthy.
If he wanted to do it, fine. All he really had to do was pull it back
and ''swish'' it around in the bathwater to get it rinse off. That was
enough cleaning for him and for us. Better than nothing. Best of luck
My 3-1/2 year old son is uncircumcised, and his penis balloons
when he pees. He has not complained about it, although I have
noticed the tip of his penis seems red from time to time (a
little neosporin usually takes care of it). We have never been
able to fully retract his foreskin.
My question is: does anyone know of a homeopathic way to soften
the foreskin to retract it? I got the prescription for the
steroid cream but feel a little squeamish using it. Also, do I
need to worry about the fact we can't retract it? Previous posts
on the website seem to suggest we don't need to.
Thank you for any help on this slightly embarrassing topic. I was
adamant on him not being circumcised, but I never anticipated any
problems with it.
A little worried
My son's penis wasn't retracting either & there are loads of studies/advice (including
his pediatrician's) saying that it was fine - but I still felt like I needed to do
something about it (I'll admit, I worried both about the possibility of it worsening &/
or how things might/might not (?!) 'work' as he grows up...hey, he will be older
some day ; )) Anyway, I did get the prescription for the steroid cream, we used it
once in the morning & evening for just a couple of weeks & everything worked out
just fine. (the prescription said to use for six weeks, but we stopped after a couple
of days of the penis fully retracting) I just kept reminding him that when he pees &
takes a bath, he needs to fully retract his foreskin - he's into it (a new toy, so to
speak...boys & their toys...) and now he does it on his own - all is good a year later!
Hope this helps.
I have a friend from French Guyana who told me that when he was of
age (7/8 years old) his mom would rub a mild oil around the skin and gently pull it
back. It sounded very ceremonial, similar to a rite of passage. 3.5 years old might
be to young to worry about it. My 7 seven year old hasn't been able to retract the
skin on his penis yet and I believe that's normal.
First, congratulations on leaving your son intact! As an RN and
mother of an intact son, all these things sound perfectly
normal. The penis ballooning is normal, it is a sign of early
foreskin retraction. It is also normal for the foreskin not to
be fully retractable until after puberty! My son was fully
retractable at the age 4 but he is the only one who handles his
penis. No bubble bath or soap under the foreskin, that can cause
redness and irritation (just like little girls).
My 6 year old son was not circumcised at birth and has had no problems
until the last month or so when he has experienced "ballooning" of the
penis when he pees. So consulting with the pediatrician and the
pediatric urologist, they say there's no way to tell if the foreskin
will stretch enough or if he will eventually need a circumcision. I
feel like if he needs the operation, I would rather he have it when he
is younger and no where near puberty, yet I would prefer not to
circumcise him at all. I wonder if anyone has any experience with
outgrowing this ballooning, or circumcision as a child, or a reputable
web site to pursue this a bit more (i.e. lots more experience with this
When a doctor advises that your son be circumcised, it is usually
because he or she is unfamiliar with the intact penis, misinformed
about the true indications for surgical amputation of the foreskin, or
unaware of the functions of the foreskin. GET A SECOND OPINION, from a
pediatrician or ped. urologists who is truly knowledgeable about
foreskins and who understands the important functions of the foreskin.
Don't act out of fear, be absolutely positive that it is one of those
rare cases where it is truly a medical necessity.
Here is an excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Paul M. Fleiss, MD.,
Asst. Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at USC Medical Center in LA.
He wrote: "Ballooning of the foreskin during urination is a normal and
temporary condition in some boys. It results in no discomfort and is
usually a source of great delight for little boys. Ballooning comes as
a surprise only to those adults who have no experience with this phase
of penile development. Ballooning disappears as the foreskin and glans
separate and the opening of the foreskin increases in diameter. It
requires no treatment."
My husband just read this post over my shoulder. He is an intact
male. He said that when he was a little boy he had loads of fun
watching his penis balloon up when he urinated! So there you
go. Perfectly normal.
Here are some websites to help your research:
National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers
(NOCIRC) 415-488-9883. www.nocirc.org/
Doctors Opposing Circumcision (DOC) 360-385-1882
Nurses for the Rights of the Child 505-989-7377. www.cirp.org/nrc/
Circumcision Resource Center. 617-523-0088. www.circumcision.org/
The Circumcision Information and Resource Pages. www.cirp.org/
Dr. Paul Fleiss in Los Angeles is an internationally recognized expert
on the important functions of the foreskin and the care and protection
of the intact penis. He has a recent article in Mothering magazine
that gives excellent and detailed advice on this general topic. He is
also available for phone consults at 323-664-1977. He states in his
article that circumcision is rarely necessary when there are problems
with the foreskin and discusses why. This article is available on the
It won't give me a direct link, but I found the article by searching
under Recent Articles, volume 103. The title is Protect Your
Uncircumcised Son. I also have the article and would be happy to
share it with you.
Another resource: National Organization of Circumcision Information
Resource Centers 415-488-9883 or www.nocirc.org - they can refer you
to a local physician with training in care of the intact penis and
their website has lots of other information that you might find
I can send you an article by Dr. Paul Fleiss called "Protect Your
Uncircumcised Son - Expert Medical Advice for Parents" which covers
several conditions of the foreskin, and how they may be treated. Here
is an excerpt directly pertaining to ballooning:
"Ballooning of the foreskin during urination is a normal and temporary
condition in some boys. It results in no discomfort and is usually a
source of great delight for little boys. Ballooning comes as a
surprise only to those adults who have no experience with this phase
of penile development. It certainly does not cause kidney damage; it
has nothing to do with the kidneys. Ballooning disappears as the
foreskin and glans separate and the opening of the foreskin increases
in diameter. It requires no treatment."
I recently read on the web that Irish youngsters lucky enough to have
a ballooning foreskin would stand in a line to pee, competeing to see
who could shoot their urine furthest by squeezig the balloon. The
point being that the ballooning is quite normal. The same article
encouraged patience among American parents and children who often
don't realize that the foreskin shouldn't be expected to fully retract
until about the age of 18.
My son had the same problem as you describe. Once (when my son was not even 1 year old) we
had to go to an emergency room in upstate NY because my son had an infection on his penis
when the Dr. in charge told us he needed to be circumcised immediately because the foreskin
would never stretch enough. When I refused, he said that we needed to "work the penis" by
moving it back and forth aggressively a few times a day until it could be stretched all the way.
He also said that might end up with a "partial" circumcision (whatever that means)anyway and
that we'd better do it now when he is still young. I never did that either. At some point when my
son was 4 I did wonder if it would ever stretch enough but all of a sudden, only a few months
ago, my son showed it to me on his own. My advise is to leave it alone, your son will start
playing with it and I am sure that it will work itself out. Nature has a funny way of correcting
itself. I was born in Europe and I actually never met anyone who needed a circumcision for
what you describe.
Our son is not yet a year old, but he also had balloning when he peed, and since he had a mild
infection under the foreskin at about six months, our pediatrican recommended seeing a
pediatric urologist. We first saw Dr. Lee in Berkeley, who gave us few non-surgical alternatives.
But we sought a second opinion with Dr. Ngeyun at UCSF. Like Lee, he diagnosed phimosis,
which is a tight opening to the foreskin. But his approach was very different. We used a
prescription steroid cream for three weeks that softened the tissue and allowed the foreskin to
retract completely. No more balloning! And no cutting.
The cream has been in use in Europe for about ten years, and has an excellent success rate.
It's also been successful in this country, though not in pratice as long. Dr. Ngeyun was very
kind and took the time to explain both the problem and the solution to us. He gave us a packet
of information to read, and was available for consutation via email when I needed reassurance
that I was using the cream correctly and that the results were normal.
My son is considerably younger than yours, and his problem may have been different. And
here's the usual disclaimer: I am not a doctor and have no way of knowing what is really going
on with your son. But I highly recommend a visit to Dr. Nguyen. The whole staff at UCSF just
felt more up-to-date than the one in Berkeley.
I wanted to add something to my response last week about this issue. If you
choose to go to a new health care provider and/or take a different course of
action than the circumcision recommended by your doctors, please consider
returning to your doctors and sharing with them the medical information you
have obtained and the decision you have made. Hopefully they can learn from
your research. Jen
During a routine 6 month exam yesterday, my son's pediatrition
retracted his foreskin all the way. She did
it quickly and without warning, or I wouldn't have allowed it!
As soon as she did thatI said-''hey, I thought you were not
supposed to do that!''. She responded that it is fine, does not
hurt the membrane and I should pull it back to clean it. Now,
according to every baby book, all of my friends, this website
and my gut instinct this is all totally wrong. So my questions
are these-first, how do I proceed with the pediatrition? Do I
dump her or compile some evidence and send her a letter and
then dump her or try to talk it out with her? I am so upset
and angry about what she did, but I do like her in all other
regards so its hard to sort out my feelings on this one.
Second, now that she has retracted the foreskin-do I need to do
anything special when caring for it? Did she damage the
membrane or if I leave it alone will it be OK? Is it more
prone to infection now? The end of it looks red and irritated
today, by the way. I am furious, feel terrible and guilty and
am just a mess over this. I appreciate any advice about where
to go from here.
My five-year-old is also uncircumcised, and I was also a bit
freaked out the first time my pediatrician yanked that puppy
back to check things out down there. I just was sure it was
hurting him! But she said, ''Just wait til he gets to be a
toddler and can play with it all the time. You'll be amazed at
the tugging, pulling, stretching he'll do himself with absolute
calm. Meanwhile, you need to occasionally do this when he's in
the bath, and just swish the water around it. And you'll need to
teach him to do it.'' Man, I was not ready to hear that!
It took awhile to be sure that I was not hurting my son (and to
top it off, he has a fairly tight foreskin that's not so easy to
pull back!), but I managed, and I worked really hard to calm
down, so that I wasn't communicating squeamishness or
nervousness when I helped him in the bathtub. Now he does it all
himself with complete aplomb, and refers to pulling his foreskin
back in the tub as ''squeezing out the purple toothpaste''!
earned my penis care badge
I hear your concern; perhpaps my family's experience with this
will be of help. My 2 boys, ages 9 and 7 are uncircumsized. At
first we did not do anything special in terms of care, until the
youngest got an infection under his forskin at age 3. At that
time the physicians encouraged us to have the boys retract their
foreskins while they were in the bath tub to prevent future
infections. They did so, without problem, and have had no
''Uncircumcized penis care'' is a myth, unless there is a problem.
There is absolutely nothing a parent has to do under normal
circumstances. Eventually, the skin will stretch on it's own (or
by it's owner). We have an 8 year old and the skin hasn't been
pulled back - no problem! The above is from various doctors'
advice. I remember how my mother took me to a doctor back in the
50's and I'll never forget the excuciating pain I went through.
This has proved to have been totally unnecessary. Let it happen
Maybe someone already said this and I missed it, but foreskin does not
need to be retracted by force by anyone. This will happen naturally
sometime before puberty because all little boys play with their penis',
until then there is no cleaning necessary. I have just recently noticed
that my 3 year old's foreskin is now retractable. As another parent
already pointed out, little boys will play with their penis in the bathtub
and this is care enough.
As a pediatrician, I feel compelled to add a comment to the
discussion about how to manage the foreskin of an uncircumcised
penis. The American Academy of Pediatrics actually publishes a
brochure about this somewhat contentious issue, entitled ''Care
of the Uncircumcised Penis'' which should be available thru most
pediatricians or perhaps at their website www.aap.org.
The bottom line is that it is entirely normal for foreskins to
adhere to the penis for several months (and often years--
again, entirely normal) after birth. They should NEVER be
forcibly retracted, although gradual retraction as the child
gets older and the foreskin gradually detaches itself is fine.
Once detached, the boy can be taught to push it back to wash
Forcibly retracting still-attached foreskins in young infants
was in vogue earlier this century,and still occurs among some
less informed doctors, but is unnecessary, potentially harmful,
and undoubtedly painful for the child.
Can anyone recommend a good reference or offer an informed opinion
on hygiene for a one year old uncircumsized boy? A respectable-
seeming article in Mothering magazine (written, I think by a physician)
basically says that a healthy penis will take care of itself which is my
own instinct). The last few times we have seen our pediatrician though,
she retracts his foreskin and advises washing this way about once a
week, ''so he gets used it, and eventually does it himself''. I don't feel
really persuaded that this is necessary, but don't want to be negligent.
My son is almost seven and I have never pulled back the foreskin
to wash his penis. Our doctor always told me to leave it alone
as not to cause trauma by pulling it back and forth. He does
play with it in the bathtub which is the natural way of taking
care of it. My brother is also uncircumsized and I doubt if my
mother ever did anything to clean it either. He is now 30 and
turned out just fine.
mom of boy
I was really surprised by your doctor's advice. My pediatrician
(Myles Abbott- one of the best-respected peds in the East Bay)
routinely chanted to me during appointments ''The care of an
uncircumcised penis is no care at all.'' he was adamant that
nothing needed to be done, which was advice I was happy to
Your pediatrician is overly concerned. My son is four now
and has had no problems with his uncircumsized self. No
special care has been needed.
I'm uncircumsized myself and I stil remember, back in the 50's
when my doctor forced the skin back because ''you were supposed
to do that''. The pain was excruciating. It turns out now that
this is totally unnecessary. My uncircumsized 7 yr old has no
problems and the doctor adviced us not to do anything with it.
Let nature take it's course. The body will take care of the
cleaning, stretching etc.
Tell your physician to get her hands off your son's penis! She
could cause tearing and adhesions by prematurely separating the
foreskin from the glans, which could cause scaring and other
problems down the road. Let your son be owner of his body.
Intact penises are no more in need of such manipulation and
cleaning than girls are in need of douching.
Nov 1998 Discussion
From: a mom (11/98)
I'm feeling uncertain about my (our) decision not to have our son
circumcised. My reasons were based on the lack of any medical necessity
for the procedure and my belief that it's nothing more than an outdated
religious ritual. But mostly I just didn't see any reason to inflict
needless pain on my baby. I researched the current trends, asked doctors
and saw an alarming documentary on the subject. My husband "went along"
with my concerns, but we never had much support from the rest of the
family. Our son is now nine months old.
My sister-in-law just had a baby boy. She was eager to tell me that he
slept right through the circumcision. Now I'm afraid I've made the wrong
choice for my son who's the one who has to live with my decision! What's a
circumcision like for an older child or adult? What are other parents
doing with their sons?
Responses from Nov 1998
We didn't circumcise our son, who is now almost 3 months old. It wasn't a hard
decision for us to make, since we are not Jewish or Muslim. The United States
seems to be the only place in the world where routine non-religious
circumcision is performed. Is there any reason you think your son would want a
circumcision later in life? Adult circumcisions are extremely painful, from
what I understand. My advice is, don't worry about it. The decision has
already been made, and agonizing over it will only make your son feel like
From: a Dad
We have an 18 month old boy and we chose not to circumcise him against the
strong wishes of my Jewish parents for the same reasons you mentioned (no
strong medical evidence of benefits...etc.). However, after living with
the consequences I am beginning to regret our decision. My parents got
over it and haven't mentioned it since we argued the initial decision.
However, dealing with the hygiene issue is much more difficult that I
expected. I'm sure that as he gets older and the foreskin becomes able to
recede, cleaning may not be a big deal. However, for the past 18 months
and for some time to come it will require daily attention and I still think
he is much more prone to infections than a circumcised child. At the time
I thought that performing surgery to reduce the chances of a rare cancer
just didn't make sense. In retrospect I think going through what I've
heard is a fairly simple and quick procedure would have been the better
choice for us. Does anyone have experience with circumcising older
children? I'm certain the trauma would be significantly greater now but
has anyone done it at 18 months of age or older and what are your thoughts?
Are uncircumcised people more prone to other problems (yeast
infections...etc)? Please help. I don't want to wait longer to make this
From: a new dad
My personal experience: When our baby boy was born in August my wife and I
had discussed the circumcision question. She was against doing the
operation. I was ambivalent about it but now that our little baby is almost
3 months old I am glad we did not do a circumcision. It wasn't the pain
issue. It's this: Now he can decide when he's older what he wants to do.
The decision is now left to him. If we'd proceeded on our own, he'd never,
ever, ever, be able to do anything about it. Ever.
Pretty simple, eh? So my advice to the new mom is, you have done fine!
Don't give it a second thought! Let your grown son deal with it later; he
can make the decision for himself. I would have rather liked that
explanation from my own parents (grin)!
With regard to the mother who's questioning her decision to not
circumcise. When my son was born 16 years ago, I decided not to
circumcise him. Neither his father nor I had any definite feelings on
the subject one way or another, but it wasn't until I was doing my
post-surgery walk past the nursery and heard a baby screaming, only to
ask a nurse and discover that the baby was being circumcised...that's
when I made my decision! The only problem I can say you need to be
careful of, if you don't clean it and pull the skin off the head
(sorry for the graphic description), it will start to grow
together. And as they get older, you still have to make sure the area
underneath the foreskin is clean and let your son know about cleaning
himself properly as he gets older. I'm sure your pediatrician told you
this. My son who is now 16 has never had any problems or comments on
it in the locker room in school and is totally comfortable with
himself. I wouldn't worry about your choice.
My son had his circumcision done across the hall from my hospital room and
I can verify that he screamed bloody murder when it was in process. I am
sure it was painful and I don't know if I would opt to have it done again
with another child. Dr. Dean Edell speaks vehemently about there being
absolutely no necessity for it. Good luck with your decision.
My son is now 12 years old and was not circumcised for exactly the same
reasons you chose not to circumcise your son. We also did not receive much
family support for the decision, although no real opposition to it either.
So far, there have been absolutely no problems, medical or social. It has
basically been a non-issue and I see no reason for it to become one.
mothering magazine has had several issues and a special publication on
circumscision if your interested 1- 888- 984- 8116.
Re: circumcision. I, too, elected not to have my son circumcised, based
mostly on the thought that it was his body, not mine. I've worked in the
Middle East a bit and am somewhat familiar with Islamic practices, where
boys are circumcised at around age 13 as a rite of passage into adulthood.
Although some Islamic cultures treat this as a real macho test of a boy's
ability to withstand pain, most areas and people are very sensible about
it and anesthetic and so forth are used and it's not such a big deal.
And there are tens of millions of Moslem men walking around today who
had this procedure done at this age and are neither physically nor
So my reasoning is that there is plenty of time and that my son can
decide for himself if and when he wants it done. Jewish culture
traditionally goes for the 8th day and I think it is very important
for many traditional Jewish people, a sign of the child's covenant with
God. However, if you have no strong belief's like this, I don't see
a need to rush into such a procedure. Let him decide for himself.
My son is eight and uncircumcised. So far no problems at all with the lack
of procedure. His father was born in rural Louisiana in the middle fifties
where it was not common to circumcise. He never had the procedure done and
also never any problems....I did't see a medical reason for the procedure
and am curious about the content of the 'alarming documentary' you saw. Can
you remember the name and where it aired?
I have two sons, one is 1.5 and the oldest is 4 years old. We had our
oldest son circumcised but ran into a problem when the bell that they fix
on the penis fell off leaving a knob of skin still attached. We had to
take him into the doctor's office and have a floss type of string wrapped
around the knob of skin so that it will fall off... Believe me, it was a
painful experience to watch him scream and can not even image what the
first procedure must of been like. Well, anyway the knob fell off leaving
a little pocket (scar) in his penis.
When our second son was born, we decided against it. It they are not born
with their foreskin cut and pull back then to us, it is not necessary.
I've heard horror stories of uncircumcised penises but to experience the
above for our oldest is not worth it.
Circumcision is definitely an individual decision.
From: a mom
Well, we decided not to circumcise our kiddo, now 7 months, for
most of the reasons you mention: there is no medical necessity, a
foreskin does not really complicate hygiene, lots of little boys are not
circumcised, why not keep all original parts if possible, and no
religious tradition to adhere to that made it obligatory or
quasi-obligatory. But if my husband had felt strongly that the baby
should be circumcised, I could have gone along with that, too. I tend
to agree that it probably doesn't hurt a newborn that much; at a bris I
attended recently, the baby cried much louder and longer about some
annoyance well before the ceremony than he did during the actual
I have no idea what circumcision at 9 months would mean; I do
know, however, from a friend who went through it (for a particularly
unreasonable and demanding woman who later dumped him, too!) that adult
circumcision is a dreadful experience.
In my mothers' group, 2 of 4 little boys are uncircumcised.
Other friends have also made different choices. Either decision is
perfectly valid; one thing you can be pretty sure of is that your son
will see plenty of other uncircumcised little boys as he grows up. I
think you should stop worrying about it; it'll be fine.
You didn't make the wrong decision for all the reasons you cited. You made
an informed decision. Your sister-in-law made a decision too, it was just
different. I had a son this year and because we didn't have any religious
reasons to have him circumcised, we didn't. We have never regretted our
When our son was born, my wife and I bounced back and forth on this
decision hourly it seemed. Finally we decided to do it; BIG mistake for us
personally (I repeat personally). Our son had it done on the 7th day after
birth and it was horrid. My wife couldn't bear to go, so I took him. We
won't be doing this for our next child. Our son fought and wailed and
screeched and changed all manner of color the human body is capable of
while I sat there debating whether to shoot myself for putting him through
it. Granted almost 4 years later he doesn't remember a thing, and of
course he lived through it. But being that we found no medical reason to
have it done, it was a mistake for our family. If we have another boy and
the issue of "why mine doesn't look like so-and-so's" comes up, we'll just
handle it. Finally, for emphasis, this was our personal experience. A
bucket full of blessings to whoever had the child that slept through the
From: a mom
Both my sons were circumcised some years ago at birth and I have not
regretted it. However, what I DO regret is letting them do it without
anesthesia. I am very sorry I didn't insist on that and if I ever have
another son, he will be circumcized, but with anesthesia. I don't know
why this isn't done - One son had hernia surgery at 3 months under
anesthesia and I was told it is very safe for babies. Good grief, even
my cats get anesthesia when they go to the vet...
As a woman I can't speak from personal experience, but my father had to
have a circumcision for medical reasons when he was 14. He says that the
procedure was harmless, it happened under anesthesia and there was hardly
any pain afterwards. So I guess the only decision from your side that your
son would have to live with forever is to have a circumcision now, since
it's irreversible. If you don't do it now and he needs it later for
whatever reason (religious or medical) he can still get it.
I had a baby boy 5/20/98, and we did not have him circumcised, although
every male in my and my husbands family has been for generations. I was
unsure at first, then I read an article with graphic descriptions and
photos, a historical perpective of the operation, and statitics (such as
the risk of injury to the penis due to the circumcision is much greater
than the risk of problems due to not being circumcisced in the future).
While the risk of either is very small, this helped me put the thing in
perspective: I had the option to cut off a large peice of my babys
genitals. I thought that nature knows best, and I would let my son keep
his parts. I now feel very sure that we did the right thing. Although my
family is not so sure, citing a few penis statistic usually makes them so
uncomfortable that they quickly change the subject.
Not to drag out the circumcision discussion too long, but a couple of
posters mentioned "extra cleaning" that they felt was required on an
uncircumcised penis, pulling back the foreskin, etc. My understanding (esp.
from the *Mothering* magazine articles on the subject) is that this kind of
extra care is unnecessary and perhaps risky in terms of exposing skin that
is not meant to be exposed. I specifically remember the doctor-author of
the article saying, "Leave the foreskin alone, don't retract it." Perhaps
someone with more specific knowledge can back me up on this, but in our
family, we never mess with it (our son is 4). The suggestion that the
foreskin will grow together unless manually retracted is contrary to the
laws of evolution: how could our species have survived if leaving the body
alone disables the ability to pee, let alone reproduce?
Just a brief response to the Dad concerned about the cleaning ritual
involved with non-circumcized infants... is this something specific to
your son? The advice is to NOT do anything specific to clean an
uncircumcized penis (just soap and water on the outside like any other
body part). NEVER try to retract the foreskin while it is still adhered
to the head of the penis (this can last until 5 or 6 years of age,
possibly even older, and is normally not a problem- it will eventually
become retractable)- forceably retracting a tight foreskin can cause pain,
damage and infection and is normally completely unnecessary.
My son (nearly 2) is not circumcized and we have never paid any
particular attention to cleaning his penis differently from any other part
of him. So far he has experienced no problems and the foreskin is still
not retractable. The doctor was even able to do a catheter urine
collection when he was 21 months of age (he had a febrile seizure and they
wanted to rule out infection) without disturbing the foreskin's adhesion.
From: Carol Lynn
I did not have my son circumscised at birth because I thought it was
barbaric. The doctor told me to make sure my son did not retract the
foreskin and leave it like that because it might hurt him. Well, he was so
good about it that the foreskin grew together with a hole that was
eventually the size of a pinprick. It was life threatening because he
could barely pee out of it, and he had to be circumscised at age eight,
which requires general anesthetic and a week to heal (not to mention the
trauma). Since this happened I have heard of two more boys who had to be
circumscised when they were older due to this same problem, so this is
rare, but not unheard of.
July 1999 Discussion
I am pregnant now (for the first time) and I'm stressing out about the
issue of circumcision. I basically think it's a barbaric practice,
and that it should be stopped, but I'm worried that if I don't have my
baby circumcised, he will be made fun of at school, will feel abnormal,
or will have sexual hang-ups about it later. I've asked some male friends
for their opinions, but as they were all circumcised themselves, they had
a hard time envisioning what it might be like for an uncircumcised
boy/man. Has anyone had any experiences/thoughts that will help me in
my decision? Thanks.
I researched the issue for BabyCenter, the Web site I work for. I think we
present both sides of the issue fairly well in our Great Debate. The
information discusses the pros and cons and links you to a bulletin board
where you can see people discussing this highly controversial issue. Click
I had the same thoughts and fears as you regarding circumcision - felt it
was barbaric, but wanted to do the right thing long-term for my son. I'm
usually very decisive but this particular issue really had me tied up in
knots. After much agonizing and asking everyone I knew for their thoughts,
which resulted in getting extremely conflicting advice ranging from you MUST
do it (so the son can "look like" the father and for hygiene reasons) and
you MUST not do it (it's barbaric, there are no valid health reasons for
doing it) all I learned was that people feel VERY strongly about this issue.
Then one of the instructors at my birthing class told me and my husband that
she intended to circumcise her son but when faced with it at the hospital
basically just chickened out. She said she's had no medical or hygiene
problems with it (which confirmed my pediatrician's advice which was if you
have no religious or cultural reason for doing it, leave well enough alone,
and an uncircumcised penis requires no special care). As for the "looking
like his father" issue, when her son was 5, he asked his dad why his penis
looked different from his, and the father simply said, when I was a baby,
they cut a little piece of it off at the hospital, and the boy just said
"Oh, I'm sorry, Dad!" and that was that. After hearing that, my husband and
I decided to just wait and see how we felt at the hospital. When the time
came we willingly "chickened out" too and felt very good about it. (My
husband, who'd been more in favor of circumcision than I, said "he's perfect
as-is".) I think there are going to be a lot of new millenium boys running
around with their foreskins intact (in California, I think the current stats
are something like 40% of babies are being circumcised, 60% aren't) so you
don't need to worry that your son will be a freak. Good luck; it is a tough
decision. If you can't make up your mind now, put it off until the birth
and see how you feel then.
My son who is now almost 9 is not circumcised, it's never been an issue.
Many of his peers are not either. My brother (38) and my nephews - (21,
15, 10, 8, and 6 years old) are all - not - and they have never had any
issues, never been laughed at and that's a wide range of ages. We came
as children from a country where circumcision is not and was never
standard so it never even crossed our minds to have our children
circumcised. We have been laughed at for our last name, freckles,
mother's accent and many other things having nothing to do with anything
cultural, just the fact that someone wanted to laugh at one of us. You
can't avoid it. You shouldn't circumcise your son because he might get
laughed at any more than you would scrape his freckles off if he should
My husband is not circumcised and grew up in Northern California, and says
that no one ever made fun of him about it. My 14-year-old cousin says the
same. Neither of them seem to feel the least bit "abnormal" and in fact,
there are a lot of uncircumcised men out there, although I agree that they
are still much in the minority. With little boys these days, however,
that may not be so true; in my mothers' group, for example, two of the
little boys are circumcised and two are not. In our babysitting coop, I
don't think any of the little boys are circumcised. While I do not think
circumcision is at all barbaric - it's part of at least 2 major world
religions, for example - neither do I think it's at all necessary. If
my husband had felt it to be important, we would probably have
circumcised our son, and I would feel fine about that decision, too.
I really think people make much too much out of the "to circumcise or
not to circumcise" question. My advice is to do what you want, and
*relax.* You have more important stuff to stress out about.
My child is 4.5 years old and uncircumcised. He has had no medical
issues nor problems with other kids, despite "group bath rooming" at
his daycare. At first we thought we would have to do extra hygiene, but
our doctor said that as long as they soak in a bath, nothing special needs
to be done. By the time the skin had separated enough to clean, he
was old enough (about 2.5 years) to clean it himself in the tub.
This summer he's in camp with kids up to 15 years old and still not a
mention of it. I don't think he knows that he's circumcised-- he
hasn't even noticed that Dad is different. We've never mentioned it to him.
(Perhaps it's time!) In Berkeley, there's so much diversity; across
the nation fewer kids are getting circumcised. I don't think it will be a
problem elsewhere either.
We chose not to circumcise our son who is now almost a year old and I
have not once regretted it. However, I have friends with similar age sons
who did circumcise and do regret it. Our pediatrician also told us that he
regretted having circumcised his son. My husband was circumcised
himself, but after reading as much as we could about the subject he had no
questions as to what he felt was the right decision for our son. As more
and more parents choose not to circumcise in the U.S., the concern about
looking like your peers will fade -- and this change is in process. In
fact, in you live in the Bay Area, not being circumcised is actually very
common. Also, in most places in the world (though not in Israel, for
example), the norm is to not be circumcised. Good luck with your decision!
We did not circumcise our son (who is now almost one year old). The
only boys his age whom I've met have been circumcised only if they're
Jewish. In this area, circumcision is pretty low compared to the rest of
the U.S. My husband and I decided not to circumcise because there was
no compelling reason to do so. My MIL told me that her first bad
decision as a parent was circumcising my husband. If you don't want
to do it, don't.
I don't know where the poster lives, but here in Berkeley boys
who *are* circumsized are in the minority. We had our son
circumsized and I don't think any of his friends are circumsized.
The situation really is different here and now than it was thirty
About the circumcision issue: Your uncircumcised child will not feel
"different" here in California --only 50% of boys are circumcised in
this state. In other countries the rate is even lower and in other parts
of the U.S. the rate of circumcision is dropping, albeit slowly. All of
my reading showed that there is no medical reason for it, and a good
argument against it was that the newborn child has no choice, but he
may elect to have it done later if he wants. Whereas once done it
obviously can't be reversed. We left our boys "intact" and hope that more
children are left with their bodies the way nature made them!
I was born in Denmark, where men are cut rarely, only for
religious reasons. Growing up in the US, it was clear that I was
different, but there were only a few times, in grade school dressing
rooms, where other boys asked about it. As Randal said in the 1998
So far, there have been absolutely no problems, medical or social. It
has basically been a non-issue.
On the hygiene issue, I was disturbed to read the comments from "a
Dad" of an 18 month old, who seems to be pulling back the foreskin
daily. This was not my experience, nor what our pediatrician is advising
for my 3 year old son. The foreskin is tight for a reason - to keep junk
out! That makes it hard to pull back until the boy is older, so don't do
it. I'm not an expert, so consult your own pediatrician, your milage may
At puberty, the foreskin loosens up considerably, so it becomes
possible to pull it back easily, even over an erection. Discovery of
masturbation helps this along. By the time I became sexually active,
it was a non-issue. Because the foreskin is in place most of the time,
the underlying skin is tender and sensitive. As the questioner's friends
said, I have a hard time envisioning what it might be like for a
Of course, you have to decide for yourself. For me, it's a no
brainer - natural has no down side, so why cause the baby to suffer?
We did not circumsize our son despite my jewish mother's dire
warnings (what if when he gets older he wants to marry a jewish girl
and she wants him circumsized?!)
our son is 14 months old. of the 9 boys i can think of off the top
of my head (between 11mos and 4 years), none are circumsized. i can
I can think of two, both jewish, who are. i thinks things are changing
and by the time our kids get to the locker room, uncircumsized penises
will be pretty common.
Check out a book in the Public Health Library, 'Just say no to
circumcision' (or something like that) with foreward by Ashley Montague.
Despite the strident title, it gives a lot of detailed information. The
book says that circumcision reduces sensation--that circumcized men
are less likely to use condoms, that sex is more difficult for circumcized
men in late middle age, & that it is more common for things to go wrong
during the procedure than dr.'s like to admit. Both here & in the Hite
report (for men) the men who have been circumcized as adults have felt a
diminishment in sexual sensation. I regret having had my son circumcized.
The pediatrician said it wouldn't be that painful & that babies cry no
more than when a breast is taken away. But my baby was clearly in agony
& continued to scream long after the cutting was done. The dr.
dismissed my question as to whether it would have any effect on sexual
By all means, if you don't want to do it, DON'T!! In my experience,
the rate is about 50/50, so your son is unlikely to be teased. Neither of
my boys (now 2.5yrs and 6 mos.) are circumcized, and the boys their ages
that I run into here in Berkeley are about half circumcized and half not.
If you deliver at Alta Bates, they don't do it- you have to arrange with
a pediatrician. With the first, no one ever asked. With the second, the
doc did (I was surprised), but then it was a Kaiser doc, so maybe their
practices are different. In any event, if you want physical reasons,
I've got literature on it. If you want testimonials, I might be able to
get some from folks I know, but then there are probably plenty of dads on
this line that could give you that!
My 19 month old son is not circumcized. Obviously, I cannot yet speak
from experience about what sort of reactions he will get in school, since
he and his toddler cronies don't even pee in potties yet. However, what I
can say is that, in the process of researching the decision, and in the year
and a half since, I've come to believe that many people these days are
choosing not to circumcize, so my son is likely to be part of a first
gerneration in which some classmates are, some aren't, so no one stands
out as mockably different.
My husband and I are undecided about whether to have our son
circumcised after he is born. Although we are leaning towards having
it done, we do not feel political about it. Basically, we want to
make the best decision for him for when he is growing up. I have a
call in to my doctor to find out if he has circumcision statistics on
what the trend is these days, but maybe someone else also does which
is why I'm writing. It would be interesting to find out if, for
example, 50% of boys are getting circumcised and the other 50% are
not, at least in California. We don't want him to feel too different
from most of his peers while growing up, especially during those
difficult teen years. Thanks.
I saw a book at the Lawrence Hall of Science Gift Shop of information for boys about
puberty; it had a very reasoned section about circumcision, and gave exactly the statistics
that you asked for. I don't remember the title, but the Shop clerk could no doubt direct you
Initially, we decided against circumcision because we didn't want him to go through all that
pain just so he could "look" like his daddy. Our decision to have my son circumsised was
finally based on the fact that they no longer do the procedure w/o anesthesia. In fact, he
cried more when he got his vaccination than he did for the circumcision. We know it was
simply "cosmetic" and maybe it was a cop out but it's also one less thing for him to worry
about as being different. The fact that it's so often a subject of conversation leads me to
believe that by the time my 2 yr old is old enough to notice the difference, there will be a
balance of both types (50-50? 60-40?) so that it won't be an issue.
My husband & I decided not to circumcise our son. I am Jewish & my husband is not, tho he
is circumcised himself. I have had regrets about not having it done, but my husband feels
comfortable that we made the right decision. I had no idea that I would feel this way about
the whole situation since my family is reform and I grew up with very little of the tradition.
Part of my feeling badly about it is my own family stuff and not wanting to feel criticized by
various people in my family, and it has been good for me to figure out how to separate out
what is that stuff vs. what felt right to do for our son at the time. I've been trying to let go of
feeling badly because I don't want my son to feel awkward about it. He's only 16 months
now, but I do worry that even tho it is probably 50/50 in the Bay Area, we may not always
live here. I'm not advocating that everyone do it, but I will say that as best you can try to
figure out how you may feel about it late! r ! ! on. And once you make a decision, do not
listen to what anyone else has to say on the subject!
When we chose not to have our son circumcised, the fear of him appearing different was the
only nagging concern. However, I quickly learned from preschool and now Berkeley public
school observation (via my son), Bay Area children seem to half and half. There has been
new talk of hygienic reasons for the procedure, but we are pleased with the decision. Boys
can learn to keep clean and I feel better knowing that I did not cut nerves away that may
bring him a great deal of pleasure in his adult life. His father is circumsized, but my son
already knows that his penis will never look just like Daddy's, but it is perfect the way he is.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
Yes, this is a very hot topic. I don't know any statistics. Being Jewish,
both of my boys were circumcised. What I would like to pass on is, a few
years ago I was reading through a medical journal for something else and came across an
article that stated that in America, of the number of males with penile cancer, a very high
percentage were not circumcised. This was about 10 years ago or so. It might be a good idea
to do some research on the current health benefits in addition to your concern about the
sameness and difference (assuming you have no religious reasons for circumcision).
I read the results of a research study a few years ago, by a guy who was
decidedly anti-circumcision when he started his study. It was basically
about transmission of HIV and other STDs in Africa and how it relates to
circumcision. It was a fascinating study, which unfortunately I don't
remember the name of or the name of the author, but he basically found that hands down
more men were contracting AIDs and were HIV positive in places where men were
traditionally uncircumcised (and of course, where sexual practices were pretty loose). He
compared that with rates in another country (Phillipines? or maybe it was two countries in
Africa) where men are traditionally circumcised but sexual practices were very similar. He
found that transmission rates were significantly lower. Plus there were other kinds of
health problems that the uncircumcised men had that the circumcised men didn't have as
much of (statistically speaking). The author said he wished he had circumcised his son.
Although I don't have to face this decision, I feel very confident what mine would be, based
on this study. I otherwise would have had no opinions.
Wow. I'm sure you'll get a million responses on this topic. We decided
to have our son (now 13 months old) circumcised, and it was a pretty
painless thing. He cried about the anesthesia injection but not the
procedure itself and he recovered very quickly with just Tylenol for
a couple of days. Based on our experience it seems like a pretty low
risk, low trauma thing.
Having said that, I wont go as far as to say I regret it but I certainly
have had second thoughts. I think just about the only arguable defense
(which came into play in our situation) is the "baby-like-daddy" argument.
I have no complaints about the results worked out for me (not that *I*
had a choice), but hey - how would I know anyway? I have nothing to
compare it to.
I think at this point, there is almost no evidence that would give
credence to the usual medical arguments for doing it.
There was an interesting guest on "Fresh Air" (on NPR) who wrote a book
about circumcision. His name was David Gollaher and his book is called
"A History of the World’s Most Controversial Surgery." It may be worth
checking out, though based on his discussion on the air, I doubt you will
proceed with the procedure if you read it, so be prepared. You can also
hear his interview at freshair.npr.org. The interview was February 14th.
(and, yes HE was circumcised too).
A couple of weeks ago, Terri Gross had a wonderful discussion on "Fresh Air" with a guy who
has recently written a book on circumcision. (I don't recall the title, but I'm sure that one
could find it with little difficulty.) In the course of the conversation, Gross asked him how
his own thinking on the topic had evolved in the course of researching and writing the book.
He replied that he began his work with what he believed to be a fairly neutral position. In
particular, he said, he felt that those outspoken opponents of circumcision who equated it
with female genital mutilation were guilty of indulging a largely ideological agenda. But
by the end of the the research and writing process, he said, he had arrived at much the
same conclusion; and that except for parents who were motivated by religious conviction,
he could find no others--parents, doctors, psychologists--who could present compelling
arguments in support of the procedure.
He concluded by observing that the tide seemed to be running ever more strongly against
circumcision, and that he thought that the generation of doctors now emerging from med
school would be unlikely to recommend it.
(Actually, the interview concluded with the telling of two or three circumcision jokes, if you
can imagine such a thing. I'll recount one here: a dry goods salesman, on his last day
before retirement, was complaining to the buyer from Bloomingdale's that he had never
been able to make a single sale to the store. "Please give me just one order," he begged, "so
that I can retire fulfilled." "OK," said the buyer. "Send me enough satin ribbon to reach
from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis." The next day a truck rolled up to
Bloomingdales and began to unload what turned out to be 8,000 miles of ribbon. The
enraged buyer shouted over the phone to the salesman "What are you doing! I told you to
send me as much ribbon as would reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis!"
"Well," said the salesman, "the tip of my nose is right here--and the tip of my penis is in
I recently read a statistic which said that over 50% of boys born in the Western U.S. are
uncircumcised. My guess is that in an area like Berkeley, the percentage may be even
higher. I think the staistic was printed in the prenatal newsletter I received at my last visit
to Kaiser, but I'm reading so much baby material right now that I could have my sources
confused. On a more personal note, I have a three year old son who is not circumcised, and
his brother, due in June, will be the same. My husband (who is circumcised) and I agreed
that since we have no religious convictions regarding circumcision, we would just let things
be. Part of our decision was that the hospital where I delivered was unwilling to use any
sort of anisthetic, even topical. Since the research we had read indicated that there aren't
any known health benefits to the procedure, we chose to avoid what we felt would amount to
a traumatic procedure and a lot of intricate after-care of something about which we had no
So far our son has not noticed any difference between himself and his father, and I have
read that rates of circumcision are falling all over the country, so I expect that his
classmates will be split pretty much fifty-fifty no matter where we live. I've also heard,
though I can't attest to the fact, that uncircumscised men have more pleasure in
intercourse, which, if true, is certainly something I'd like my son to enjoy someday.
My son, born in '99, is not circumcised. Although I'm Jewish, I was not raised with a strong
religious connection. My husband is European, where the norm for his generation is non
circumcision, so I let him decide. My husband's brother had to be circumcised at age 5 due
to a serious infection he developed, and he was the "odd one out", but apparently he suffered
no locker room derision.
These aren't any official statistics, but if it helps to know, of all of the boys we personally
know who were born in the last 4 years, the only ones who were circumsized were Jewish.
It's a tough question and you'll find that most people
have strong opinions about it either way. I, myself,
was more of a fence sitter (I'm female). In
discussing this with a friend, I was asked how can I
expect a male to be sensitive if he has been
desensitized? Granted, there is no direct correlation
between desensitizing a body part and desensitizing
the whole human spirit.....but it was food for
thought. I could not think of a compelling reason to
do it, so I didn't. I am, however, respectful of
those who do do it for strictly religious reasons.
You'll find a good analysis and description in:
Circumcision Exposed : Rethinking a Medical and
Cultural Tradition....by Billy Ray Boyd. At Alta
Bates I was told the rate was 50/50 these days. Good
luck with your decision.
I had my newborn son circumcised just two weeks ago. I was ambivalent about doing this,
but went ahead with it mostly for cultural and aesthetic reasons. I accompanied him during
the surgery, because I feel we shouldn't do anything to our children we ourselves can't stand
to witness. I also wanted to be there to hold him and nurse him as soon as the procedure was
I agree with others who have posted on this topic that my son seemed like he was in pain
during the procedure--he screamed, he turned purple, he had a hard time settling down
after it was over. I'm not entirely sure this was from pain, however. (The doctor did use a
local anesthetic.) I think the trauma was as much from being naked, being strapped down,
and having a shot (for pain killer) in the genital area. Since then, I have seen
him get just as upset when he is a) hungry; b) trying to fall asleep and being overstimulated
by his older sister; and c) having his diaper changed.
That said, I am still ambivalent about having done this. I think this is a very personal
decision and one that merits much thought and consideration. I just don't want people to
assume that because a newborn is screaming he's in terrible pain.
It seems to me that the tide is turning against circumcision these days, but your OB would
As an opponent of circumcision, I think it's unfortunate that people worry so much about
whether the boy will look like his peers, or look like daddy; this just further perpetuates a
procedure that probably shouldn't be performed as often as it is.
You'll get a lot of response about this, I reckon; I'll provide an argument that I don't hear
repeated often. Removal of the foreskin desensitizes the penis. Because the sensitive glans
(head) is constantly brushing up against clothing, etc, it becomes more callused and less
responsive. (That foreskin has a function!) It's certainly hard to think of your as-yet-unborn
child as a sexual being, but he will be someday...and you should think hard about the effect
of this decision on his future sexual pleasure.
Your guess was correct, the rate in CA is about 50% circumcising vs. 50% not. The trend is
moving (slowly) away from circumcision. Please consider the actual physical effects on your
son, not only the "will he fit in" issues. I have never heard of boys in this generation having
a problem with fitting in, due to this-- there are always examples of those with and
without foreskins around them. My two sons were not cut, after much
consideration and research and we're very happy to have them just as they
were born. I would hope you'll think about the fact that once it's done
it's done, and your child has no say in the matter. But it is something
the older child or man can elect to do when able to make that choice
himself, if you allow him the option.
We were lucky enough to deliver our boy in Europe where the question doesn't even come
up routinely. When I asked the pediatrician, he asked if we were Jewish -- if not why did we
even want to know? My son still believes that the physical difference relates to which
continent you were on, and whether your religion requires. He has not showed his privates
to a whole lot of other boys, but has never been made to feel different or wierd... and has had
no medical problems related to not be circumcised.
From a strictly medical perspective, all the research I read suggested that the benefits of
circumcision (decrease of UTI's and penile cancer, lower incidence of STDs) did NOT
outweigh the risks (bleeding, infection, desensitization of the glans). Additionally, men who
had to be circumcised later in life for medical reasons confirm the decrease in sensation of
the glans. The AAP's current position is that circumcision is usually unnecessary (barring
some family history that would warrant it) and the main reason to consider it is cultural.
Here's the link to the AAP's official position:
If you do decide to circumcise, please be sure that you use adequate amounts of analgesia.
One thing pro- and con-circumcision people agree on is that it is an indisputably painful
procedure for a newborn. Studies show that baby boys who are circumcised often show
biological signs of distress immediately aftwerwards, and often are hypersensitive to pain
(as in innoculations) long after the experience. Doctor friends of mine who witnessed or
performed circumcision during their training report that it is a brutal procedure for a
newborn, and, in their collective experience, adequate amounts of analgesia are not always
I have a comment about circumcision. I am a circumcised male of 51. I was circumcised at
birth. All the boys were circumicised where i grew up, well not *all* exactly, one of my best
friends wasn't, (he was a great guy, and one heck of a tailback, too) (still a great guy!:)
Anyway, i never thought much of it at the time (childhood, until i was 39 years old), but i
had sort of a birthmark on my exposed "glans" (you can look it up), and there was sort of this
ache *there* i would notice sometimes (in high school i subscribed the ache to "excessive
masturbation" - Portnoy had nothing on me:) But it wasn't like something serious enough to
go to the doctor about. What i later learned was called a "ghost pain", a mark of trauma.
Then i came to Berkeley in 1983 to do "primal therapy" al a Artur Janov, at the "Center
Within" on Adeline. Which i did do ("primal" that is) at least once a week for about 6 years. I
got really inside my memories. I was like falling back into space sometimes. In conjunction
with the primal therapy, i also was privileged to partake in a ***** rebirthing experience,
where through various emotional and sensory inducements, the gestalt that holds the
memory of a person's birth is stimulated, and the brain releases the memory for
re-processing. That's the technical definition. Personally, it's so *weird*, (and it was
different for every person in the room who did it with me - one at a time, of course), weird in
that it was eerie, the echos of my life from that intense time of trauma (compare natural
childbirth, aboriginal birthing, etc.), you know the LeBoyeh (sp?) book: Mother given drugs,
labor halted until the doctor finishes his golf game (in recounting the experience to my
she filled in the missing pieces) (me however, expecting progress, in a pre-natal fashion --
which is to say sort of, what's the word?>, reptilian fashion, which is to say intense. I
intently wanted to be born, The World yawned and said, "when we're ready, pal, hold on to
your foreskin." (a sorry pun:)
And then of course the usual followed: hauled out, bright lights in the eyes (eyes that have
been acclimated only to the most gentle of lights, the spirit aura of its mother), our
connecting cord cut still pumping (that is a freaky feeling, remember?), yanked upside
down, hit harshly, handled roughly, dried with a starched towel, and then 'cut'.
No part of that was "ok", the circumcision was not ok. No. It's not a nice thing to do.
Five or six years ago, the statistic nationwide was about 50-50, and more like 65%
uncircumcised in the Bay Area.
What is not done can still be done, but what is done cannot be undone.
Here's a piece of advice if you decide not to circumcise: Our two sons (ages 41/2&6) were
not circumcised. The only problem that we have encountered was the youngest got an
infection under his foreskin when he was about 3 1/2. Early one evening he complained
of pain when urinating and the tip of his penis appeared red. Since it was after hours we
brought him to the urgent care clinic. The doctor prescribed anti-fungal cream which
helped right away. Everything was back to normal in a day
or two. The doctor also told us to have our boys retract their foreskins in the bathtub as
part of their daily cleaning routine to keep the area clean and prevent future infections.
This has been fairly simple for us to follow through once our sons understood what they
needed to do (luckily our older son caught on right away and was able to demonstrate to
our younger son what to do, since my husband is circumcised and he could be of no help
there). Since this time we haven't had any further infections. The only thing that
bothers me about this is that with all the routine well child checks that we've been to no
one ever mentioned to us that cleaning under the foreskin was an important part of our
sons' daily hygene routine. I'm not sure at what age it is recommended to begin this
practice. But if you do decide not to circumcise then I'd recommend you consider asking
your doctor for guidance on how/when to clean. Good luck.
I am an uncircumcised 45 y.o. man. Not being circumcised has been ok except: To stay
clean as a post teen you must clean twice a day or more. If you get any kind of abrasion
at all it take a long time to heal as the glands are covered and do not have the air to dry
and help heal. Any kind of abrasion or soap burn is a big deal. Also the biggest problem
is with soap burns. You must rinse completely until all traces of soap are gone or you
will get a soap burn and it will take weeks to heal. As a child the foreskin is tight and
when it loosens the skin can break and infections can occur. Whether I look like some
other man I could care less. If I had a son I probably would lean toward circumcision but
that would be a decision me and my wife would make together.
An issue with the changing rate of circumcision these days (basically most kids are not,
in my experience) is that they generally have circumcised fathers who don't know how to
teach them to keep their penis clean. This only becomes an issue at about the age of five
when the foreskin is less tightly attached (I believe?). I know of a couple of small boys,
including my son, who got infections underneath there and had to have medicated cream
and a clear explanation from the doctor on how to prevent that happening again. It's not
something that has recurred now that he knows what to do, which includes retracting
and cleaning under the foreskin. My son may have been more prone to it because his
skin is sensitive to soap and we use it very rarely. My friend's doctor mentioned that he
saw quite a few little boys for this reason - it's not a major issue, but worth forestalling if
you can and/or keeping an eye out for it. His initia! l ! symptom was that it stung when
he peed. My parents' old Dr Spock book has a hilarious description of how to do the
penis cleaning with a newborn baby, (which is not necessary and possibly dangerous)
but might be a guide for an older child. I've never seen such details mentioned in other
childcare books, but have heard that the slightly higher rate of infections is the only
measurable disadvantage of retaining a foreskin that's been found by researchers. As I
said, some of this is probably due to fathers being different from their sons - a loss of folk
knowledge about foreskins I suppose.
I'm another Jew who circumcised her son. I believed beforehand and I am even more
convinced of it now: it is a terrible thing to do to a newborn -- to anyone who is not
choosing it for their own reasons as an adult, or for medical reasons in later childhood. I
truly cannot think of any reason to circumcise other than very strong religious/cultural
situations (in our
case, we assumed we'd spend considerable time in Israel, where an
uncircumcised boy *would* have a seriously hard time. Now I'm not even sure we'll
spend much time there at all!). Our son's circumcision was a
horrendous experience, as well as the recovery from it. This despite the
fact that we had a very wonderful mohel (Chanan feld, who was recommended
here just recently). Each child reacts differently, so while by some
testaments, some boys hardly notice the procedure, I would not take the
chance that yours will have a bad reaction. I hope very dearly that Jewish
practice will change over time to end circumcision.
We are parents expecting a boy in july, and are currently going through
the same dilemma as to whether or not to have him circumcised. Our first
impulse was not to, but after much research, we have decided that we
probably will, for a number of reasons which haven't been mentioned
- Circumcised males have 10-fold fewer urinary tract infections. Up to 3%
of uncircumcised boys will require hospitalization for pyelonephritis (a
- A lower rate of syphilis, genital herpes, genital warts, and AIDS in
circumcised men has been reported in a number of studies.
- Males circumcised in the newborn period almost never develop cancer of the penis.
- Cancer of the cervix has been reported to be less common in the partners
of circumcised men.
- Circumcision usually prevents phimosis - the inabililty to retract the
- Circumcision reduces the incidence of balanoposthitis-infection or
inflammation of the skin of the penis.
- Effective personal hygiene is easier with a circumcised penis.
- Many boys not circumcised at birth will require the procedure later, at
greater cost and greater risk.
- And my last very unscientific reason is for the sake of our son's future
sex life. An informal but extensive poll of female friends and relatives
(including myself) prefer a circumcised penis in a sexual partner.
One of our main issues was that of pain - which our pediatrician will
prevent with a lidocain block.
Hope this helps with what is certainly an important and personal
decision. You will find much more information, both pro and con, on the
I just read the discussion on cleaning an uncircumcised penis and
wanted to comment that my pediatrician has told me at every single
visit "the care of an uncircumcised penis is no care at all" -
i.e. DON'T retract the foreskin. This sounds like it contradicts some
of the advice that is posted, which talks about being careful to pull
back the foreskin and clean, rinse away soap etc. The contradiction
may arise because my son is only 2 years old and his foreskin is still
"tight" - the retraction advice may apply for later on. I will ask my
doctor but in the meantime I wanted to caution readers that they
probably shouldn't be pulling back infant foreskins or at least that
they should check with their doctor before doing so.
I found a great Web page link that talks about the care of uncircumsized
penises. Hope this helps parents out there:
Mothering Magazine had an excellent article in issue #103
(November/December 2000) entitled "Protect Your Uncircumcised Son:
Expert Medical Advice for Parents," by Paul M. Fleiss. The author
discusses 18 different statements that are commonly used as an
arugument against leaving the penis intact, from "your son sprays when
he urinates" to "your son won't enjoy oral sex". As the mother of an
uncircumcised boy (and the wife of a circumsized man), I found the
article to be extremely helpful, and at the very least it gave me a
"heads up" for the kind of stuff people come up with to push a
procedure that has been shown to be medically unnecessary. I can't
imagine that teaching a boy to take care of his genitals is any more
difficult than teaching a girl to wipe from front to back!
Doctors sometimes give biased advice, even when we are relying upon
them to give us correct information. So, if your doctor says
something that doesn't make sense to you, check it out! You love your
child enough to get the best information you can.
The issue of circumcision is of course a highly private matter and I have
read the recent posts with interest and a high regard for individual
Circumcision is a symbol of the covenant that the Jewish male baby
enters into with God, family, community, history, culture. Who are we
to break this chain? I am a mom of a son who had a bris on his eighth
day of life, just like his father and grandfather and
great-grandfather. While I would never wish unnecessary pain on my
beloved child, it is my obligation as a Jewish woman and mother to
practice the most basic tenants of my faith. And that covenantial
relationship will be part of my child's whole precious lifetime. As
so many other aspects of Judiasm get chipped away at through
assimiliation, it is imperative that a few rituals remain. It is my
hope for the Jewish community that the rite of circumcision will
define us for another 5,000 years.
I know the controversial topic of whether to have a son
circumcised has been discussed frequently, and I have read the
very helpful archives. However, I have been reading about a
recent study showing that the partners of uncircumcised men are
more likely to develop cervical cancer than the partners of
circumcised men. I had previously decided not to circumcise my
soon-to-be born child if it is a boy, but am not sure what to do
in the face of this new study. I don't want to reopen the whole
question of circumcision, since I think the discussions in the
archives are very comprehensive, but I am interested in what
people think of this new study.
I, too, read that article. It said that Human Papilloma Virus
(HPV), which is the STD that can lead to cervical cancer, can be
carried more often by uncircumsized men than circumsized. As far
as I can tell, if you can teach your son to be an thorough
foreskin cleaner, if you teach him to respect his body and his
parnters' by wearing condoms, HPV shouldn't be a concern and
leaving him intact until he can make his own decisions about his
genitalia, his body and his health is the best way to go.
My recollection of the study is that it reports an increased
risk of cervical cancer for women whose partners are
uncircumcised AND have had several sexual partners. This
finding does not make me regret my decision to leave my son
uncircumcised. It does, however, make it more important to
teach him about responsible behavior.
Although I can't recall much of the literature on this topic,
which I looked over a bit when my
son was born, I wouldn't be too concerned about any possible
connection between circumcision and cervical cancer.
Cervical cancer generally has a very long pre-cancerous phase
(estimates are in the neighborhood of 10
years or longer), during which it is readily detectable through
Pap smear and easily cured. (As I write this I realize that
this applies mainly to the most common kind of cervical cancer,
squamous cancer; the adequacy of the Pap smear for detecting
some other types has not been well established. So if this
study you mentioned deals with adenocarcinoma or other variants,
this argument is less relevant.)
BTW, it seems very likely that cervical cancer is somehow caused
by (sexually-transmitted) infection with certain strains of the
human papilloma virus, and
there are new methods being adopted which check for the presence
strains, so in the future Pap testing
should be even more successful at finding pre-cancerous
conditions than it is now.
I have done research on the subject and the study noted that
there was only a slight difference and that the men studied have
had about 6 parters or more. I feel that education rather than
circumsicion is the key.
My husband is intact, as are all of his male relatives on his
father's side going back at least three generations. Postscript:
He comes from a highly educated family made up mostly of
doctors, scientists and college professors. Needless to say our
son is an intact male as well. Years ago I recall talk of some
research linking the uncircumcised penis with cervical cancer. I
honestly am not familiar with any recent report, but I am aware
that this older report was highly flawed due to the fact that
the test participants were all female prostitutes! Hugh Grant
notwithstanding, intelligence and cleanliness are not two
adjectives I would associate with men who solicit the services
of a prostitute. All kidding aside, my husband was taught how to
clean his penis when he was old enough to learn how. Along with
this he was taught other personal hygienic responsibilities such
as brushing and flossing his teeth. When someone starts a
discussion that is pro-circumcision based on reasons involving
personal hygiene, and avoiding potential infection, I always
like to comment that in keeping with that train of thought,
perhaps we should pull out all of our kid's adult teeth as they
erupt. This way if by chance we happen to raise a child that is
incompetent when it comes to taking care of their body, at least
we have relieved them of future potential genital infections
and/or dental cavities. Both these conclusions make about the
same amount of sense to me, which is none.
Name withheld to protect the anonymity of my husband's penis
My son was circumcised right after birth. It turned out that the
doctor didn't cut enough skin and he has a ''partial
circumcision'' which means he doesn't have all his foreskin but
he has more than most circumcised boys do. Starting last summer
when he was 3 he began to have a lot of trouble with infections
and discomfort when washing his penis. It started with a
terrible yeast infection after which the doctors told us to pull
the skin up and wash better. He hated us pulling the skin up and
washing better and bath time became a huge dreaded ordeal. He
had more of what I thought were infections but when I took him
to the doctor they said because he was partially circumcised,
the skin would get stuck half way up the shaft after an erection
and then get swollen and terribly painful. Once it was so bad we
spent hours in the doctors office while they iced it, numbed it
and tried to get the skin down. Obviously I don't want my son to
live with this kind of irritation and trauma. We had decided to
have him recircumcised when we asked our friends of
uncircumcised boys what they did. They said they did nothing.
Didn't wash it, didn't touch it. Well, we've been trying that
and it's been much better. The recircumcision is put off
(hopefully forever) and our son likes baths. He has only had two
small episodes which is a big improvement though not perfect so
I wanted to hear from other people. Is there anyone who has had
experience with partial circumcision or recircumcision and what
do you advise?
If I were you, I would consult with Channan Feld, the local moyl, who must be the
Bay Area's foremost expert in circumcision. He does a wonderful job and is a very
nice guy and my guess is that he might be able to tell you the options and give his
opinion on the best way to go.
We also received a ''conservative'' circumcision that left too much skin, causing
adhesions (but fortunately, no serious complications). At 18 months, our son was
scheduled for an unrelated surgery, and his urologist recommended we have the
circ repaired at the same time. It required general anesthesia and lots of stitches. It
was sensitive for a few days, and needed neosporin for a few weeks. It healed well
and is now completely normal looking and maintenance-free. We are happy not to
have to worry about complications--medical, aesthetic or psychological--and are
very happy with the results. Anyway, that was our experience. I am not sure that a
partial circumcision ''works'' the same way as an uncircumcised penis, but if what
you are doing now is effective, it may be the perfect solution for you. Maybe you
should check with a urologist to make sure you are on the right track?
I have a 10month old son who was born 21/2 premature.Due to that
fact we couldn't get him circumcised at the hospital before we
left so had to do it a few months later.But the doctor did not
do a good job.I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar
situation. We are looking for a doctor who can probably do a
better job and if it is possible at this age.any
You didn't describe what your concerns are with your son's circumcision? Our
younger son was circumcised in S. America using a procedure that was not
common in the U.S. at the time. His foreskin wasn't completely removed, but
the procedure was otherwise well done. We were unfamiliar with the 'look' but
quickly got used to it. But of course I'm not sure if our experience applies to
yours. Good luck.
Mother of sons
My son was circumcised by a resident at Oakland Kaiser using a little plastic
"bell" which was not completely successful and left a little of the foreskin
still attached on one size. I fretted about it for a while and then forgot
about it. He's 22 now and as far as I know it is a non-issue for him or
his girlfriend of 3 years (I assume she has seen it but who knows? - this is
not a topic sons are eager to discuss with their moms!). When he was 15 or 16
the topic of circumcision came up and I told him about the botched job - told
him we could get it fixed if he wanted. He looked at me like I was suggesting
we have his ears removed. So either he never noticed that his circumcision is
not perfect, or he doesn't care.
Not a big deal - don't worry
My son was circumcised when he was 3 weeks old. The foreskin subsequently re-grew and re-covered the
head of his penis, apparently even to a greater extent than would be found in an uncircumcised boy. We were
referred to a pediatric urologist who said he would have to be recircumcised (at around 11 months). My son
has no problems urinating, or anything else related to this that I have been able to see. I am really concerned
that we will be taking the risk of putting him under general anesthetic for something that is maybe not so
important (?). I wonder if anyone else has experienced this problem, and if so, what you did for your son.
Specifically my questions are (1) should we do this? (2) if yes, should we do it now or wait until he is older?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! You can respond to me directly if you prefer. Thanks!
Save your son the pain and risk of a second cosmetic surgery on his penis. Let him keep all those healthy nerve
endings & he will thank you as an adult. The presence of a foreskin is not a medical condition that needs to
treated. If you leave his body alone, you will know you made the right decision, if you cut him you will never
know if you made the right decision. Consider what kind of message will you be sending him; either that his
penis/body is wonderful as it is, or that it is wrong and needs to be fixed.
- Mom of two happy boys
One thought would be to get a 2nd opinion from a physician who has specialized training in
intact/noncircumcized penises. You can get referrals from the National Organization of Circumcision
Information Resource Centers 415-488-9883 or www.nocirc.org - they can refer you to a local physician with
training in care of the intact penis and their website has lots of other information that you might find helpful. Or
you might try calling Dr. Paul Fleiss in Los Angeles, an internationally recognized expert in this area. He is
available for phone consults at 323-664-1977. Jen
Our 2 year old uncirumcised son suffered an infection under his
foreskin. Dr. Piser (urologist) labeled it a severe phimosis,
and because he thinks it will recur, recommends circumcision as
treatment. We are looking for alternative treatments. In the
archives someone wrote in about using a steroid cream which
softened the tissue and allowed it to retract. Any input on this
subject would be helpful to us.
I am one of the parents who wrote in about phimosis
treatments a few years ago. Our son was diagnosed with
phimosis when he was about a year old. We saw two
doctors--the first recommended circumcision; the second,
Dr. Ngeyun at UCSF, prescribed the steroid cream. We
decided to use the cream and it worked very well. Ater two
years, our son has had no problems at all with recurring
My main advice to you is to get a second opinion. Since the
steroid cream has not been used as long in this country, not
as many doctors know about it. In fact, when I later called
the first doctor we spoke to and asked why he didn't
prescribe it, he said he'd never heard of it! Try to find a
doctor who does. The UCSF pediatric urology department
had a very good staff, and Dr. Ngeyun was great to work
In the end, you may decide to follow the first doctor's advice.
But if you get a second opinion, you will have more
information to work with when you decide what to do. But I
am very glad we were able to find a treatment that was non
Our son's phimosis condition was so severe that his pediatrician sent us
to the emergency room. At Children's Hospital, we were told that he
would need an immediate circumcision. We were told that if the
circumcision was not performed, he would have a recurring problem
He was about eight at the time and was very upset about the thought of
his penis being circumcised (he was also very embarrassed by the
whole situation). The doctor reluctantly agreed to continue trying to
manipulate the foreskin back into place while our son was placed under
anesthesia. She was very clear, however, that she did not expect this
procedure to be a success and expected to have to perform a
circumcision at that time.
It was a very anxious time as we waited. Afterwards, we were so glad
that we had followed our intuition and our son's desire to remain
uncircumcised. The procedure was a success and he never had another
problem with phimosis. He is now 14.
Our son (10 months old) has seen several urologists and several
pediatricians. One of the urologists has diagnosed him with
phimosis. All of the other Dr.s vary in opinion
between ''completely normal foreskin'' to ''somewhat tight''. The
range of opinion is extreme. One common thread we keep hearing
is that a boys foreskin is not really retractable until 3-4
years of age and up to that point it is in varying states of
tightness depending on the individual. My advice: get a 2nd
and 3rd opinion. Wait, if you and your Dr. are willing, until
he is older to see if it changes on its own.
Best of Luck.
Does anyone have words of advice on what to tell both circumcised and
uncircumcised siblings when they start comparing anatomy? (Their
father is circumcised.) The plan was not to circumcise either child,
but the oldest child (now two) had a circumcision to correct a
hypospadias. How detailed an explanation should they be given when
they are little? How does one help the older son feel comfortable
with his body given the scars on the bottom of his penis? Is there
any reason to believe he will feel self-conscious about himself at
all? I have checked the archives but don't find any specific
reference to this issue. Thanks for any and all advice.
We have a very similar situation. I just tell both boys very matter of
factly that the older one had to have surgery when he was a baby because
his foreskin was too tight, so that's why his penis looks more like his
dad's. I think the key is to talk about it in a low-key way, and to point
out that every penis looks different (e.g., many circumcised ones look
different from each other based on how much skin was removed), and each
one is beautiful in its own way!
this page was last updated: Apr 13, 2009
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network