U.T.I. in 2 year old with ''ballooning penis''

I read the posted advise about ''ballooning penis'' and was so relieved... i didn't however read anything about the ''ballooning'' causing a Urinary Tract Infection.

Our son who is 2 1/2 and is potty training (he's really good at holding his pee, almost to good!) recently got a UTI. our Ped. (Kiser) said it's because of the ''ballooning'' she said there is back flow which caused the Infection. She has scheduled an ultra-sound for his kidneys to make sure the infection did not go there. He had bleeding with the UTI. They also want us to see a Ped. Urologist.

Naturally we are so happy to have not circumcized, and are scared to do anything that will hurt/traumatize him. so i wonder has anyone had experience with this type of problem? worried mama

He's now six. We went to a ped urologist and are now on our second three week round of a steroid cream with him and that entails retacting his foreskin twice a day which is clearly uncomfortable for him. The urologist sd since we had some (a little) retraction he'll let us try a third time before recommending we circumcising him. Can you imagine, a six year old, already aware of some inkling of his sexuality, already embarrassed in front of his peers about his underpants showing, having to explain why he missed school to have a painful procedure on his penis?

Now I wouldn't say I regret not circumcising him but I do reconsider whether I can always protect him from pain. Much in the same way my friends who didn't give their kids chicken pox shots MERELY for the ''protection of pain'' argument regret having to see their kids incredibly uncomfortable scratching and having to stay home from work for a week or more with them. I hope your son is ok and I hope this hasn't seemed harsh but stay on top of it and please be open to trying anything that may help him. been there

Recent news about circumcision and our uncircumcised boy

Have you all read the recent news about circumcision reducing the rate of HIV infection? What do you all think of that? We did not circumcise our son at birth, and now that he's in elementary school it's really hard to think of doing that. But the studies are compelling. I can't figure out what to think about it all. Anyone have clearer thoughts? anon

[Editor note] here is the Dec 14 article from the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/14/health/14hiv.html?_r=1&ex=1166763600&en=63d0bc374f64b201&ei=5070&emc=eta1 "Circumcision appears to reduce a man's risk of contracting AIDS from heterosexual sex by half, United States government health officials said yesterday, and the directors of the two largest funds for fighting the disease said they would consider paying for circumcisions in high-risk countries." (see link for the rest of the article)

I am also a mother with an uncircumcised son. We decided not to circumcise him because frankly we just didn't care one way or another and figured if he decided he wanted to get circumcised he could do that, but if we had circumcised him he couldn't get uncircumcised later.

One thing to keep in mind is that circumcision would reduce the risk of contracting AIDS following UNPROTECTED sex. I think that your son and mine would benefit much more from being taught to always, always, always practice safe sex than they would benefit from circumcision.

Another thing to consider is that the rate of AIDS infection is astronomically higher in Africa than it is here. The risk of our sons contracting AIDS here is quite low, and if we teach them about safe sex it is very very low. By circumcising them, we might be reducing their risk of contracting AIDS by half but it might be more like reducing it from 0.0002% to 0.0001% rather than from 20% to 10%. (Note that I'm just pulling those numbers out of my head for illustrative purposes. I don't actually know what the risk of infection from AIDS will be in 15 years) Dr. Mom

Readhesion after Circumcision

we are worried because after our sons circumcision, some of the skin reattached (crept back up and stuck to the head of the penis). we had it pulled back again when he was a few months old and put ointment on it daily, but it once again crept back up. our son is now 2 years old and we have seen a urologist who didn't really give us an answer as to what to do. he said we could either have an in-office surgery and pull it back again, or do nothing. he said that enough foreskin was taken off, but there is an obvious readhesion. it will eventually pull back itself, but it might not be until he becomes sexually active and that would obviously be very humiliating. Please, has anyone else had any experience with this or have any advice to give? thanks. feeling afraid of surgery

Considering circumcision for 4-year-old's recurring balanitis

My 4 year old uncircumcised boy is having recurring balanitises (sp? balaniti?) and we're thinking about possibly considering circumcision. I really don't want to. My husband doesn't want to. My husband and other son are both intact and 1. We all think they should all be the same and 2. I really don't want to put him through the pain of surgery, which is one reason we chose not to do it in the first place. The problem is that we're having a terrible time keeping it clean, and teaching him to keep it clean. Whenever we go near ''the area,'' he practically freaks out and pushes us away. I can understand him not wanting to be touched, and feeling violated, but no matter how we try he doesn't understand that this needs to be done so that he doesn't have ''hot pee pee'' anymore (that's what he calls it. So sad!) Has anybody done this? Has anybody chosen curcumcision for an older child? Does anybody have any other suggestions? Thanks much Jill

"Ballooning" of uncircumcised penis

My 3-1/2 year old son is uncircumcised, and his penis balloons when he pees. He has not complained about it, although I have noticed the tip of his penis seems red from time to time (a little neosporin usually takes care of it). We have never been able to fully retract his foreskin.

My question is: does anyone know of a homeopathic way to soften the foreskin to retract it? I got the prescription for the steroid cream but feel a little squeamish using it. Also, do I need to worry about the fact we can't retract it? Previous posts on the website seem to suggest we don't need to.

Thank you for any help on this slightly embarrassing topic. I was adamant on him not being circumcised, but I never anticipated any problems with it. A little worried

My 6 year old son was not circumcised at birth and has had no problems until the last month or so when he has experienced "ballooning" of the penis when he pees. So consulting with the pediatrician and the pediatric urologist, they say there's no way to tell if the foreskin will stretch enough or if he will eventually need a circumcision. I feel like if he needs the operation, I would rather he have it when he is younger and no where near puberty, yet I would prefer not to circumcise him at all. I wonder if anyone has any experience with outgrowing this ballooning, or circumcision as a child, or a reputable web site to pursue this a bit more (i.e. lots more experience with this in Europe).

Here is an excerpt from a paper written by Dr. Paul M. Fleiss, MD., Asst. Clinical Professor of Pediatrics at USC Medical Center in LA. He wrote: "Ballooning of the foreskin during urination is a normal and temporary condition in some boys. It results in no discomfort and is usually a source of great delight for little boys. Ballooning comes as a surprise only to those adults who have no experience with this phase of penile development. Ballooning disappears as the foreskin and glans separate and the opening of the foreskin increases in diameter. It requires no treatment."

My husband just read this post over my shoulder. He is an intact male. He said that when he was a little boy he had loads of fun watching his penis balloon up when he urinated! So there you go. Perfectly normal.

Here are some websites to help your research: Mothering Magazine: http://mothering.com/SpecialArticles/Issue103/protectuncircson103.htm
National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers (NOCIRC) 415-488-9883. www.nocirc.org/
Doctors Opposing Circumcision (DOC) 360-385-1882 http://faculty.washington.edu/gcd/DOC/
Nurses for the Rights of the Child 505-989-7377. www.cirp.org/nrc/
Circumcision Resource Center. 617-523-0088. www.circumcision.org/
The Circumcision Information and Resource Pages. www.cirp.org/
Good luck. Marianne

It won't give me a direct link, but I found the article by searching under Recent Articles, volume 103. The title is Protect Your Uncircumcised Son. I also have the article and would be happy to share it with you.

Another resource: National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers 415-488-9883 or www.nocirc.org - they can refer you to a local physician with training in care of the intact penis and their website has lots of other information that you might find helpful. jen

The cream has been in use in Europe for about ten years, and has an excellent success rate. It's also been successful in this country, though not in pratice as long. Dr. Ngeyun was very kind and took the time to explain both the problem and the solution to us. He gave us a packet of information to read, and was available for consutation via email when I needed reassurance that I was using the cream correctly and that the results were normal.

My son is considerably younger than yours, and his problem may have been different. And here's the usual disclaimer: I am not a doctor and have no way of knowing what is really going on with your son. But I highly recommend a visit to Dr. Nguyen. The whole staff at UCSF just felt more up-to-date than the one in Berkeley.

Caring for an uncircumcized penis

During a routine 6 month exam yesterday, my son's pediatrition retracted his foreskin all the way. She did it quickly and without warning, or I wouldn't have allowed it! As soon as she did thatI said-''hey, I thought you were not supposed to do that!''. She responded that it is fine, does not hurt the membrane and I should pull it back to clean it. Now, according to every baby book, all of my friends, this website and my gut instinct this is all totally wrong. So my questions are these-first, how do I proceed with the pediatrition? Do I dump her or compile some evidence and send her a letter and then dump her or try to talk it out with her? I am so upset and angry about what she did, but I do like her in all other regards so its hard to sort out my feelings on this one. Second, now that she has retracted the foreskin-do I need to do anything special when caring for it? Did she damage the membrane or if I leave it alone will it be OK? Is it more prone to infection now? The end of it looks red and irritated today, by the way. I am furious, feel terrible and guilty and am just a mess over this. I appreciate any advice about where to go from here. Rebecca

It took awhile to be sure that I was not hurting my son (and to top it off, he has a fairly tight foreskin that's not so easy to pull back!), but I managed, and I worked really hard to calm down, so that I wasn't communicating squeamishness or nervousness when I helped him in the bathtub. Now he does it all himself with complete aplomb, and refers to pulling his foreskin back in the tub as ''squeezing out the purple toothpaste''! earned my penis care badge

Forcibly retracting still-attached foreskins in young infants was in vogue earlier this century,and still occurs among some less informed doctors, but is unnecessary, potentially harmful, and undoubtedly painful for the child. PBrinkley

Can anyone recommend a good reference or offer an informed opinion on hygiene for a one year old uncircumsized boy? A respectable- seeming article in Mothering magazine (written, I think by a physician) basically says that a healthy penis will take care of itself which is my own instinct). The last few times we have seen our pediatrician though, she retracts his foreskin and advises washing this way about once a week, ''so he gets used it, and eventually does it himself''. I don't feel really persuaded that this is necessary, but don't want to be negligent.

I'm feeling uncertain about my (our) decision not to have our son circumcised. My reasons were based on the lack of any medical necessity for the procedure and my belief that it's nothing more than an outdated religious ritual. But mostly I just didn't see any reason to inflict needless pain on my baby. I researched the current trends, asked doctors and saw an alarming documentary on the subject. My husband "went along" with my concerns, but we never had much support from the rest of the family. Our son is now nine months old.

My sister-in-law just had a baby boy. She was eager to tell me that he slept right through the circumcision. Now I'm afraid I've made the wrong choice for my son who's the one who has to live with my decision! What's a circumcision like for an older child or adult? What are other parents doing with their sons?

We didn't circumcise our son, who is now almost 3 months old. It wasn't a hard decision for us to make, since we are not Jewish or Muslim. The United States seems to be the only place in the world where routine non-religious circumcision is performed. Is there any reason you think your son would want a circumcision later in life? Adult circumcisions are extremely painful, from what I understand. My advice is, don't worry about it. The decision has already been made, and agonizing over it will only make your son feel like something's wrong.

We have an 18 month old boy and we chose not to circumcise him against the strong wishes of my Jewish parents for the same reasons you mentioned (no strong medical evidence of benefits...etc.). However, after living with the consequences I am beginning to regret our decision. My parents got over it and haven't mentioned it since we argued the initial decision. However, dealing with the hygiene issue is much more difficult that I expected. I'm sure that as he gets older and the foreskin becomes able to recede, cleaning may not be a big deal. However, for the past 18 months and for some time to come it will require daily attention and I still think he is much more prone to infections than a circumcised child. At the time I thought that performing surgery to reduce the chances of a rare cancer just didn't make sense. In retrospect I think going through what I've heard is a fairly simple and quick procedure would have been the better choice for us. Does anyone have experience with circumcising older children? I'm certain the trauma would be significantly greater now but has anyone done it at 18 months of age or older and what are your thoughts? Are uncircumcised people more prone to other problems (yeast infections...etc)? Please help. I don't want to wait longer to make this decision.

My personal experience: When our baby boy was born in August my wife and I had discussed the circumcision question. She was against doing the operation. I was ambivalent about it but now that our little baby is almost 3 months old I am glad we did not do a circumcision. It wasn't the pain issue. It's this: Now he can decide when he's older what he wants to do. The decision is now left to him. If we'd proceeded on our own, he'd never, ever, ever, be able to do anything about it. Ever. Pretty simple, eh? So my advice to the new mom is, you have done fine! Don't give it a second thought! Let your grown son deal with it later; he can make the decision for himself. I would have rather liked that explanation from my own parents (grin)!

With regard to the mother who's questioning her decision to not circumcise. When my son was born 16 years ago, I decided not to circumcise him. Neither his father nor I had any definite feelings on the subject one way or another, but it wasn't until I was doing my post-surgery walk past the nursery and heard a baby screaming, only to ask a nurse and discover that the baby was being circumcised...that's when I made my decision! The only problem I can say you need to be careful of, if you don't clean it and pull the skin off the head (sorry for the graphic description), it will start to grow together. And as they get older, you still have to make sure the area underneath the foreskin is clean and let your son know about cleaning himself properly as he gets older. I'm sure your pediatrician told you this. My son who is now 16 has never had any problems or comments on it in the locker room in school and is totally comfortable with himself. I wouldn't worry about your choice.

My son had his circumcision done across the hall from my hospital room and I can verify that he screamed bloody murder when it was in process. I am sure it was painful and I don't know if I would opt to have it done again with another child. Dr. Dean Edell speaks vehemently about there being absolutely no necessity for it. Good luck with your decision.

My son is now 12 years old and was not circumcised for exactly the same reasons you chose not to circumcise your son. We also did not receive much family support for the decision, although no real opposition to it either. So far, there have been absolutely no problems, medical or social. It has basically been a non-issue and I see no reason for it to become one.

mothering magazine has had several issues and a special publication on circumscision if your interested 1- 888- 984- 8116.

Re: circumcision. I, too, elected not to have my son circumcised, based mostly on the thought that it was his body, not mine. I've worked in the Middle East a bit and am somewhat familiar with Islamic practices, where boys are circumcised at around age 13 as a rite of passage into adulthood.

Although some Islamic cultures treat this as a real macho test of a boy's ability to withstand pain, most areas and people are very sensible about it and anesthetic and so forth are used and it's not such a big deal. And there are tens of millions of Moslem men walking around today who had this procedure done at this age and are neither physically nor emotionally crippled.

So my reasoning is that there is plenty of time and that my son can decide for himself if and when he wants it done. Jewish culture traditionally goes for the 8th day and I think it is very important for many traditional Jewish people, a sign of the child's covenant with God. However, if you have no strong belief's like this, I don't see a need to rush into such a procedure. Let him decide for himself.

My son is eight and uncircumcised. So far no problems at all with the lack of procedure. His father was born in rural Louisiana in the middle fifties where it was not common to circumcise. He never had the procedure done and also never any problems....I did't see a medical reason for the procedure and am curious about the content of the 'alarming documentary' you saw. Can you remember the name and where it aired?

I have two sons, one is 1.5 and the oldest is 4 years old. We had our oldest son circumcised but ran into a problem when the bell that they fix on the penis fell off leaving a knob of skin still attached. We had to take him into the doctor's office and have a floss type of string wrapped around the knob of skin so that it will fall off... Believe me, it was a painful experience to watch him scream and can not even image what the first procedure must of been like. Well, anyway the knob fell off leaving a little pocket (scar) in his penis. When our second son was born, we decided against it. It they are not born with their foreskin cut and pull back then to us, it is not necessary. I've heard horror stories of uncircumcised penises but to experience the above for our oldest is not worth it. Circumcision is definitely an individual decision.

Well, we decided not to circumcise our kiddo, now 7 months, for most of the reasons you mention: there is no medical necessity, a foreskin does not really complicate hygiene, lots of little boys are not circumcised, why not keep all original parts if possible, and no religious tradition to adhere to that made it obligatory or quasi-obligatory. But if my husband had felt strongly that the baby should be circumcised, I could have gone along with that, too. I tend to agree that it probably doesn't hurt a newborn that much; at a bris I attended recently, the baby cried much louder and longer about some annoyance well before the ceremony than he did during the actual circumcision. I have no idea what circumcision at 9 months would mean; I do know, however, from a friend who went through it (for a particularly unreasonable and demanding woman who later dumped him, too!) that adult circumcision is a dreadful experience. In my mothers' group, 2 of 4 little boys are uncircumcised. Other friends have also made different choices. Either decision is perfectly valid; one thing you can be pretty sure of is that your son will see plenty of other uncircumcised little boys as he grows up. I think you should stop worrying about it; it'll be fine.

You didn't make the wrong decision for all the reasons you cited. You made an informed decision. Your sister-in-law made a decision too, it was just different. I had a son this year and because we didn't have any religious reasons to have him circumcised, we didn't. We have never regretted our decision.

When our son was born, my wife and I bounced back and forth on this decision hourly it seemed. Finally we decided to do it; BIG mistake for us personally (I repeat personally). Our son had it done on the 7th day after birth and it was horrid. My wife couldn't bear to go, so I took him. We won't be doing this for our next child. Our son fought and wailed and screeched and changed all manner of color the human body is capable of while I sat there debating whether to shoot myself for putting him through it. Granted almost 4 years later he doesn't remember a thing, and of course he lived through it. But being that we found no medical reason to have it done, it was a mistake for our family. If we have another boy and the issue of "why mine doesn't look like so-and-so's" comes up, we'll just handle it. Finally, for emphasis, this was our personal experience. A bucket full of blessings to whoever had the child that slept through the procedure.

Both my sons were circumcised some years ago at birth and I have not regretted it. However, what I DO regret is letting them do it without anesthesia. I am very sorry I didn't insist on that and if I ever have another son, he will be circumcized, but with anesthesia. I don't know why this isn't done - One son had hernia surgery at 3 months under anesthesia and I was told it is very safe for babies. Good grief, even my cats get anesthesia when they go to the vet...

As a woman I can't speak from personal experience, but my father had to have a circumcision for medical reasons when he was 14. He says that the procedure was harmless, it happened under anesthesia and there was hardly any pain afterwards. So I guess the only decision from your side that your son would have to live with forever is to have a circumcision now, since it's irreversible. If you don't do it now and he needs it later for whatever reason (religious or medical) he can still get it.

I had a baby boy 5/20/98, and we did not have him circumcised, although every male in my and my husbands family has been for generations. I was unsure at first, then I read an article with graphic descriptions and photos, a historical perpective of the operation, and statitics (such as the risk of injury to the penis due to the circumcision is much greater than the risk of problems due to not being circumcisced in the future). While the risk of either is very small, this helped me put the thing in perspective: I had the option to cut off a large peice of my babys genitals. I thought that nature knows best, and I would let my son keep his parts. I now feel very sure that we did the right thing. Although my family is not so sure, citing a few penis statistic usually makes them so uncomfortable that they quickly change the subject.

Not to drag out the circumcision discussion too long, but a couple of posters mentioned "extra cleaning" that they felt was required on an uncircumcised penis, pulling back the foreskin, etc. My understanding (esp. from the *Mothering* magazine articles on the subject) is that this kind of extra care is unnecessary and perhaps risky in terms of exposing skin that is not meant to be exposed. I specifically remember the doctor-author of the article saying, "Leave the foreskin alone, don't retract it." Perhaps someone with more specific knowledge can back me up on this, but in our family, we never mess with it (our son is 4). The suggestion that the foreskin will grow together unless manually retracted is contrary to the laws of evolution: how could our species have survived if leaving the body alone disables the ability to pee, let alone reproduce?

Just a brief response to the Dad concerned about the cleaning ritual involved with non-circumcized infants... is this something specific to your son? The advice is to NOT do anything specific to clean an uncircumcized penis (just soap and water on the outside like any other body part). NEVER try to retract the foreskin while it is still adhered to the head of the penis (this can last until 5 or 6 years of age, possibly even older, and is normally not a problem- it will eventually become retractable)- forceably retracting a tight foreskin can cause pain, damage and infection and is normally completely unnecessary. My son (nearly 2) is not circumcized and we have never paid any particular attention to cleaning his penis differently from any other part of him. So far he has experienced no problems and the foreskin is still not retractable. The doctor was even able to do a catheter urine collection when he was 21 months of age (he had a febrile seizure and they wanted to rule out infection) without disturbing the foreskin's adhesion.

I did not have my son circumscised at birth because I thought it was barbaric. The doctor told me to make sure my son did not retract the foreskin and leave it like that because it might hurt him. Well, he was so good about it that the foreskin grew together with a hole that was eventually the size of a pinprick. It was life threatening because he could barely pee out of it, and he had to be circumscised at age eight, which requires general anesthetic and a week to heal (not to mention the trauma). Since this happened I have heard of two more boys who had to be circumscised when they were older due to this same problem, so this is rare, but not unheard of.

I researched the issue for BabyCenter, the Web site I work for. I think we
present both sides of the issue fairly well in our Great Debate. The
information discusses the pros and cons and links you to a bulletin board
where you can see people discussing this highly controversial issue. Click
here: http://www.babycenter.com/debates/overview7.html

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I had the same thoughts and fears as you regarding circumcision - felt it
was barbaric, but wanted to do the right thing long-term for my son.  I'm
usually very decisive but this particular issue really had me tied up in
knots.  After much agonizing and asking everyone I knew for their thoughts,
which resulted in getting extremely conflicting advice ranging from you MUST
do it (so the son can "look like" the father and for hygiene reasons) and
you MUST not do it (it's barbaric, there are no valid health reasons for
doing it) all I learned was that people feel VERY strongly about this issue.
Then one of the instructors at my birthing class told me and my husband that
she intended to circumcise her son but when faced with it at the hospital
basically just chickened out.  She said she's had no medical or hygiene
problems with it (which confirmed my pediatrician's advice which was if you
have no religious or cultural reason for doing it, leave well enough alone,
and an uncircumcised penis requires no special care). As for the "looking
like his father" issue, when her son was 5, he asked his dad why his penis
looked different from his, and the father simply said, when I was a baby,
they cut a little piece of it off at the hospital, and the boy just said
"Oh, I'm sorry, Dad!" and that was that.  After hearing that, my husband and
I decided to just wait and see how we felt at the hospital.  When the time
came we willingly "chickened out" too and felt very good about it.  (My
husband, who'd been more in favor of circumcision than I, said "he's perfect
as-is".) I think there are going to be a lot of new millenium boys running
around with their foreskins intact (in California, I think the current stats
are something like 40% of babies are being circumcised, 60% aren't) so you
don't need to worry that your son will be a freak.  Good luck; it is a tough
decision.  If you can't make up your mind now, put it off until the birth
and see how you feel then.  

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My son who is now almost 9 is not circumcised, it's never been an issue.
Many of his peers are not either. My brother (38) and my nephews - (21,
15, 10, 8, and 6 years old) are all - not - and they have never had any
issues, never been laughed at and that's a wide range of ages. We came
as children from a country where circumcision is not and was never
standard so it never even crossed our minds to have our children
circumcised. We have been laughed at for our last name, freckles,
mother's accent and many other things having nothing to do with anything
cultural, just the fact that someone wanted to laugh at one of us. You
can't avoid it. You shouldn't circumcise your son because he might get
laughed at any more than you would scrape his freckles off if he should
have any.

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My husband is not circumcised and grew up in Northern California, and says 
that no one ever made fun of him about it.  My 14-year-old cousin says the 
same. Neither of them seem to feel the least bit "abnormal" and in fact,
there are a lot of uncircumcised men out there, although I agree that they
are still much in the  minority.  With little boys these days, however,
that may not be so true; in my mothers' group, for example, two of the
little boys are circumcised and two are not.  In our babysitting coop, I
don't think any of the little boys are circumcised.  While I do not think
circumcision is at all barbaric - it's part of at least 2 major world
religions, for example - neither do I think it's at all necessary.  If
my husband had felt it to be important, we would probably have
circumcised our son, and I would feel fine about that decision, too.
I really think people make much too much out of the "to circumcise or
not to circumcise" question.  My advice is to do what you want, and
*relax.* You have more important stuff to stress out about.

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My child is 4.5 years old and uncircumcised.  He has had no medical
issues nor problems with other kids, despite "group bath rooming" at
his daycare. At first we thought we would have to do extra hygiene, but
our doctor said that as long as they soak in a bath, nothing special needs
to be done.  By the time the skin had separated enough to clean, he
was old enough (about 2.5 years) to clean it himself in the tub.

This summer he's in camp with kids up to 15 years old and still not a
mention of it.  I don't think he knows that he's circumcised-- he
hasn't even noticed that Dad is different.  We've never mentioned it to him.
(Perhaps it's time!)  In Berkeley, there's so much diversity; across
the nation fewer kids are getting circumcised.  I don't think it will be a
problem elsewhere either.

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We chose not to circumcise our son who is now almost a year old and I
have not once regretted it.  However, I have friends with similar age sons
who did circumcise and do regret it. Our pediatrician also told us that he
regretted having circumcised his son. My husband was circumcised
himself, but after reading as much as we could about the subject he had no
questions as to what he felt was the right decision for our son.  As more 
and more parents choose not to circumcise in the U.S., the concern about
looking like your peers will fade -- and this change is in process.  In 
fact, in you live in the Bay Area, not being circumcised is actually very
common. Also, in most places in the world (though not in Israel, for 
example), the norm is to not be circumcised.  Good luck with your decision!

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We did not circumcise our son (who is now almost one year old). The
only boys his age whom I've met have been circumcised only if they're
Jewish. In this area, circumcision is pretty low compared to the rest of 
the U.S.  My husband and I decided not to circumcise because there was
no compelling reason to do so.  My MIL told me that her first bad
decision as a parent was circumcising my husband.  If you don't want 
to do it, don't.

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I don't know where the poster lives, but here in Berkeley boys
who *are* circumsized are in the minority. We had our son
circumsized and I don't think any of his friends are circumsized.
The situation really is different here and now than it was thirty
years ago.

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About the circumcision issue: Your  uncircumcised child will not feel
"different" here in California --only 50% of boys are circumcised in
this state.  In  other countries the rate is even lower and in other parts
of the U.S. the rate of circumcision is dropping, albeit slowly. All of
my reading showed that there is no medical reason for it, and a good
argument against it was that the newborn child has no choice, but he
may elect to have it done later if he wants. Whereas once done it
obviously can't be reversed.  We left our boys "intact" and hope that more
children are left with their bodies the way nature made them!

----------

I was born in Denmark, where men are cut rarely, only for 
religious reasons.   Growing up in the US, it was clear that I was
different, but there were only a few times, in grade school dressing
rooms, where other boys asked about it.  As Randal said in the 1998
discussion:

So far, there have been absolutely no problems, medical or social. It
has basically been a non-issue.

On the hygiene issue, I was disturbed to read the comments from "a 
Dad" of an 18 month old, who seems to be pulling back the foreskin
daily. This was not my experience, nor what our pediatrician is advising 
for my 3 year old son.  The foreskin is tight for a reason - to keep junk 
out! That makes it hard to pull back until the boy is older, so don't do
it. I'm not an expert, so consult your own pediatrician, your milage may
vary, ...

At puberty, the foreskin loosens up considerably, so it becomes 
possible to pull it back easily, even over an erection.  Discovery of
masturbation helps this along.  By the time I became sexually active,
it was a non-issue.  Because the foreskin is in place most of the time,
the underlying skin is tender and sensitive.  As the questioner's friends
said, I have a hard time envisioning what it might be like for a
*circumscribed* boy/man.

Of course, you have to decide for yourself.  For me, it's a no 
brainer - natural has no down side, so why cause the baby to suffer?

----------

We did not circumsize  our son despite my jewish mother's dire
warnings (what if when he gets older he wants to marry a jewish girl 
and she wants him circumsized?!)
our son is 14 months old.  of the 9 boys i can think of off the top 
of my head (between 11mos and 4 years), none are circumsized.   i can 
I can think of two, both jewish, who are.  i thinks things are changing 
and by the time our kids get to the locker room, uncircumsized penises
will be pretty common.

-----------


Check out a book in the Public Health Library, 'Just say no to
circumcision' (or something like that) with foreward by Ashley Montague.
Despite the strident title, it gives a lot of detailed information. The
book says that circumcision reduces sensation--that circumcized men
are less likely to use condoms, that sex is more difficult for circumcized
men in late middle age, & that it is more common for things to go wrong
during the procedure than dr.'s like to admit.  Both here & in the Hite
report (for men) the men who have been circumcized as adults have felt a
diminishment in sexual sensation.  I regret having had my son circumcized.
The pediatrician said it wouldn't be that painful & that babies cry no
more than when a breast is taken away. But my baby was clearly in agony 
& continued to scream long after the cutting was done.  The dr.
dismissed my question as to whether it would have any effect on sexual
enjoyment.

----------

By all means, if you don't want to do it, DON'T!! In my experience,
the rate is about 50/50, so your son is unlikely to be teased. Neither of
my boys (now 2.5yrs and 6 mos.) are circumcized, and the boys their ages
that I run into here in Berkeley are about half circumcized and half not.
If you deliver at Alta Bates, they don't do it- you have to arrange with
a pediatrician. With the first, no one ever asked. With the second, the
doc did (I was surprised), but then it was a Kaiser doc, so maybe their
practices are different. In any event, if you want physical reasons,
I've got literature on it. If you want testimonials, I might be able to 
get some from folks I know, but then there are probably plenty of dads on
this line that could give you that!

----------

My 19 month old son is not circumcized.  Obviously, I cannot yet speak
from experience about what sort of reactions he will get in school, since 
he and his toddler cronies don't even pee in potties yet.  However, what I 
can say is that, in the process of researching the decision, and in the year 
and a half since, I've come to believe that many people these days are
choosing not to circumcize, so my son is likely to be part of a first
gerneration in which some classmates are, some aren't, so no one stands 
out as mockably different.

March 2001 Discussion

Having said that, I wont go as far as to say I regret it but I certainly have had second thoughts. I think just about the only arguable defense (which came into play in our situation) is the "baby-like-daddy" argument. I have no complaints about the results worked out for me (not that *I* had a choice), but hey - how would I know anyway? I have nothing to compare it to.

I think at this point, there is almost no evidence that would give credence to the usual medical arguments for doing it.

There was an interesting guest on "Fresh Air" (on NPR) who wrote a book about circumcision. His name was David Gollaher and his book is called "A History of the World’s Most Controversial Surgery." It may be worth checking out, though based on his discussion on the air, I doubt you will proceed with the procedure if you read it, so be prepared. You can also hear his interview at freshair.npr.org. The interview was February 14th. (and, yes HE was circumcised too). Peter

He concluded by observing that the tide seemed to be running ever more strongly against circumcision, and that he thought that the generation of doctors now emerging from med school would be unlikely to recommend it.

(Actually, the interview concluded with the telling of two or three circumcision jokes, if you can imagine such a thing. I'll recount one here: a dry goods salesman, on his last day before retirement, was complaining to the buyer from Bloomingdale's that he had never been able to make a single sale to the store. "Please give me just one order," he begged, "so that I can retire fulfilled." "OK," said the buyer. "Send me enough satin ribbon to reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis." The next day a truck rolled up to Bloomingdales and began to unload what turned out to be 8,000 miles of ribbon. The enraged buyer shouted over the phone to the salesman "What are you doing! I told you to send me as much ribbon as would reach from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis!" "Well," said the salesman, "the tip of my nose is right here--and the tip of my penis is in Krakow!") Steven

I agree with others who have posted on this topic that my son seemed like he was in pain during the procedure--he screamed, he turned purple, he had a hard time settling down after it was over. I'm not entirely sure this was from pain, however. (The doctor did use a local anesthetic.) I think the trauma was as much from being naked, being strapped down, and having a shot (for pain killer) in the genital area. Since then, I have seen him get just as upset when he is a) hungry; b) trying to fall asleep and being overstimulated by his older sister; and c) having his diaper changed.

That said, I am still ambivalent about having done this. I think this is a very personal decision and one that merits much thought and consideration. I just don't want people to assume that because a newborn is screaming he's in terrible pain.

You'll get a lot of response about this, I reckon; I'll provide an argument that I don't hear repeated often. Removal of the foreskin desensitizes the penis. Because the sensitive glans (head) is constantly brushing up against clothing, etc, it becomes more callused and less responsive. (That foreskin has a function!) It's certainly hard to think of your as-yet-unborn child as a sexual being, but he will be someday...and you should think hard about the effect of this decision on his future sexual pleasure.

Here's the link to the AAP's official position: http://www.aap.org/advocacy/archives/marcircum.htm

If you do decide to circumcise, please be sure that you use adequate amounts of analgesia. One thing pro- and con-circumcision people agree on is that it is an indisputably painful procedure for a newborn. Studies show that baby boys who are circumcised often show biological signs of distress immediately aftwerwards, and often are hypersensitive to pain (as in innoculations) long after the experience. Doctor friends of mine who witnessed or performed circumcision during their training report that it is a brutal procedure for a newborn, and, in their collective experience, adequate amounts of analgesia are not always used.

One of our main issues was that of pain - which our pediatrician will prevent with a lidocain block.

Hope this helps with what is certainly an important and personal decision. You will find much more information, both pro and con, on the web.

Circumcision and Cervical Cancer

I know the controversial topic of whether to have a son circumcised has been discussed frequently, and I have read the very helpful archives. However, I have been reading about a recent study showing that the partners of uncircumcised men are more likely to develop cervical cancer than the partners of circumcised men. I had previously decided not to circumcise my soon-to-be born child if it is a boy, but am not sure what to do in the face of this new study. I don't want to reopen the whole question of circumcision, since I think the discussions in the archives are very comprehensive, but I am interested in what people think of this new study. Thanks. CJ

BTW, it seems very likely that cervical cancer is somehow caused by (sexually-transmitted) infection with certain strains of the human papilloma virus, and there are new methods being adopted which check for the presence of those strains, so in the future Pap testing should be even more successful at finding pre-cancerous conditions than it is now. Kathy

Partial circumcision - re-circumcise?

My son was circumcised right after birth. It turned out that the doctor didn't cut enough skin and he has a ''partial circumcision'' which means he doesn't have all his foreskin but he has more than most circumcised boys do. Starting last summer when he was 3 he began to have a lot of trouble with infections and discomfort when washing his penis. It started with a terrible yeast infection after which the doctors told us to pull the skin up and wash better. He hated us pulling the skin up and washing better and bath time became a huge dreaded ordeal. He had more of what I thought were infections but when I took him to the doctor they said because he was partially circumcised, the skin would get stuck half way up the shaft after an erection and then get swollen and terribly painful. Once it was so bad we spent hours in the doctors office while they iced it, numbed it and tried to get the skin down. Obviously I don't want my son to live with this kind of irritation and trauma. We had decided to have him recircumcised when we asked our friends of uncircumcised boys what they did. They said they did nothing. Didn't wash it, didn't touch it. Well, we've been trying that and it's been much better. The recircumcision is put off (hopefully forever) and our son likes baths. He has only had two small episodes which is a big improvement though not perfect so I wanted to hear from other people. Is there anyone who has had experience with partial circumcision or recircumcision and what do you advise? Danielle

Redo 10-month-old's circumcision?

I have a 10month old son who was born 21/2 premature.Due to that fact we couldn't get him circumcised at the hospital before we left so had to do it a few months later.But the doctor did not do a good job.I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. We are looking for a doctor who can probably do a better job and if it is possible at this age.any advice,recommendations?

Fixing Problem Circumcision

My son was circumcised when he was 3 weeks old. The foreskin subsequently re-grew and re-covered the head of his penis, apparently even to a greater extent than would be found in an uncircumcised boy. We were referred to a pediatric urologist who said he would have to be recircumcised (at around 11 months). My son has no problems urinating, or anything else related to this that I have been able to see. I am really concerned that we will be taking the risk of putting him under general anesthetic for something that is maybe not so important (?). I wonder if anyone else has experienced this problem, and if so, what you did for your son. Specifically my questions are (1) should we do this? (2) if yes, should we do it now or wait until he is older? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! You can respond to me directly if you prefer. Thanks!

Circumcision recommended for 2-year-old's Phimosis

Our 2 year old uncirumcised son suffered an infection under his foreskin. Dr. Piser (urologist) labeled it a severe phimosis, and because he thinks it will recur, recommends circumcision as treatment. We are looking for alternative treatments. In the archives someone wrote in about using a steroid cream which softened the tissue and allowed it to retract. Any input on this subject would be helpful to us.

My main advice to you is to get a second opinion. Since the steroid cream has not been used as long in this country, not as many doctors know about it. In fact, when I later called the first doctor we spoke to and asked why he didn't prescribe it, he said he'd never heard of it! Try to find a doctor who does. The UCSF pediatric urology department had a very good staff, and Dr. Ngeyun was great to work with.

In the end, you may decide to follow the first doctor's advice. But if you get a second opinion, you will have more information to work with when you decide what to do. But I am very glad we were able to find a treatment that was non surgical. anon.

He was about eight at the time and was very upset about the thought of his penis being circumcised (he was also very embarrassed by the whole situation). The doctor reluctantly agreed to continue trying to manipulate the foreskin back into place while our son was placed under anesthesia. She was very clear, however, that she did not expect this procedure to be a success and expected to have to perform a circumcision at that time.

It was a very anxious time as we waited. Afterwards, we were so glad that we had followed our intuition and our son's desire to remain uncircumcised. The procedure was a success and he never had another problem with phimosis. He is now 14. anon

Explaining circumcision to uncircumcised siblings

Does anyone have words of advice on what to tell both circumcised and uncircumcised siblings when they start comparing anatomy? (Their father is circumcised.) The plan was not to circumcise either child, but the oldest child (now two) had a circumcision to correct a hypospadias. How detailed an explanation should they be given when they are little? How does one help the older son feel comfortable with his body given the scars on the bottom of his penis? Is there any reason to believe he will feel self-conscious about himself at all? I have checked the archives but don't find any specific reference to this issue. Thanks for any and all advice.