Concerns & Questions

Driving school for Asperger/ADD Teen/SF Peninsula?

Our son 16 yo. wants to learn how to drive this Summer. I'm looking for an excellent school that have extensive experience teaching special needs kids- ie- Aspergers, ADD. Thanks New to this

Help for special needs teen with aspergers syndrome

hi i am looking for help for my daughter who has aspergers syndrome she is very shy she do not have friends in school i need help trying look for something for her needs i have interest for the childrens learning center in alameda,ca is it a great school for special needs teens.

Ithink my bright 9-year-old might have Asperger's

I live in San Francisco and am looking for tips on finding help for my 9-year-old son. He has been identified for SFUSD's GATE program (gifted and talented) but also shows signs of high-functioning Asperger's -- trouble with eye contact, often doesn't respond quickly when called, very slow in getting tasks done, interests very limited, etc. As a result he has no trouble understanding but is extremely slow in getting his homework done, getting ready for school in the morning, and other time-dependent tasks. His fine motor skills seem to lag as well, meaning writing takes a long time even when he is focused. Distractions are a constant struggle. I'm looking for local resources for occupational therapists, tutors, homework helpers, etc. Any recommendations or advice are greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Resources for 5-year-old with Asperger's Syndrome

Does anyone have good resources for a 5 year old child with Asperger's Syndrome? After difficult baby, toddler and pre-school years, we finally have found out the reason our son doesn't respond to regular parenting strategies like other kids do. We've gotten a couple of great books but are looking for more books about parenting strategies and general approaches we can take with a 5 year old. We also are looking for resources about how to balance the attention and care we give with raising our two younger children. Lastly, in your experience, are AS kids usually the product of an AS parent? AS Mama

In our case, there's a definite genetic propensity for Autism. My dad and his siblings are all undiagnosed but very much on the Autism spectrum. Luckily, most of them developed the skills they needed to be happy and productive.

Hope this helps! Parent of an Aspie son

3-year-old just diagnosed with mild Aspergers

My 3 year old son (turned 3 at end of April 2010) was just diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum and having very mild Asperger's. The behavioral pediatrician who made the diagnosis gave us a xerox of the clinical definition of both autism spectrum disorder as well as asperger's. When I read over the requirements to meet both autism and asperger's disorders, it seems my son is totally borderline. Some of his behaviors fit into some of the categories, but not enough of the categories to meet the actual diagnosis. We are getting a second opinion at the end of July, which should help.

In the meantime, I'm trying not to freak out. My biggest questions are - where does the autism spectrum start? and anyone else out there have a similar diagnosis for their child? It seems from what the behavioral pediatrician told us that my child is barely autistic and he barely has asperger's. Is that possible? So how upset should we be over all of this? I really just don't know what to make of it. Will he be able to grow up to have a ''normal'' life with friends and marriage and independent living?

We're on the wait list to start him at communication works in Oakland this fall for the coming school year, and I'm anxious for that to start. We want to help strengthen whatever areas he's lagging behind in, and help him overcome whatever delays he has. But because this diagnosis seems so ''mild'' - we aren't telling anyone about it (beyond his preschool teachers) for fear that he'll be viewed differently when he might otherwise ''fit in'' just fine.

any advice people can provide would be really helpful. Confused About Diagnosis

Fast-forward to now: Our son still has a mild language delay, but we recently had him evaluated by a neuro-psychologist who completely ruled out ANY level of autism. Maybe he never was autistic, or maybe it was all the early intervention - we'll never know. In any case, he is a social, happy, easy-going, smart little boy who is about to start Kindergarten.

So I guess my advice is this: Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. 3 is still very young for an accurate diagnosis, in my opinion. And if it is mild autism or Asperger's, there's every reason to believe he will lead a ''normal'' life and may just be a little quirky. Don't get too far ahead of yourself; just worry about what he needs right now. It will change monthly, sometimes weekly, so be prepared to change course if necessary. Above all, trust your instincts and don't get lost in all the what-ifs. Hang in there, mama! Been there, done that

The advantage of early identification is to help you understand why some things - perhaps the way he communicates with and responds to others - might be different than you'd expect and allow you to get an early start helping him find ways to manage whatever individual differences he has so they aren't as much of a hindrance now or in the future. But the label won't give you a snapshot of who he is as an individual and what he specifically needs to be successful.

When you do choose to share this information - possibly with caregivers and teachers - it's probably most helpful if you go on to say something like, ''So it's sometimes difficult for him to ... and we've found it helps him if we ...'' You can also get them to share with you what they've found helpful.

You should also keep in mind that the designation will help you get special services through your local school district that could benefit your son. I'm not sure about your situation, but the services can begin even before regular school age and may also be available even if your child goes to private school. Parents have a lot of rights in terms of what services they taken advantage.

If the diagnosis is wrong you should certainly get a correct one, but keep in mind that getting rid of the label won't take away any frustrations or challenges you're son has and may make it more difficult to get services.

So I guess there are almost two separate but overlapping questions I would recommend you investigate - the advantages and disadvantages of having the label associated with him, and what are his specific needs and how would they best be addressed. A teacher

Tell people as you feel ready. You are going through your own process right now and may not be ready to share his diagnosis with others until you have come to an acceptance of it.

Please try not to worry about the future. It is hard not to, but worrying is unproductive. If you would like to read about someone with Asperger's who is living a productive, independent life with friends and relationships, I recommend ''Born on a Blue Day'' by Daniel Tammet. Feel free to email me as you have other questions. Brenna

So, he was either autistic, had mild aspergers, or fine. But what we did know was that he did have some trouble with social relationships so we signed him up for a social skills class which I think helped. We'll probably do it for a second year just to get him on even more solid footing but if we couldn't do it, we would feel okay about where he is. We also worked on having 1-on-1 playdates which gave him a chance to practice his skills. We also didn't tell anyone because we don't want him to be labelled.

As for the future, who can tell? But a friend of mine said something about it not being surprising our son was diagnosed since my husband had a lot of the same characteristics. Which, it is true, he does. But he has a very good job and had a string of girlfriends before me, has some friends, and now he is married with 3 kids. He is a good, sweet kind man and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Anon

Communication Works is wonderful. They are effective and professional and don't go for the dramatic just for what works. I think you will be very happy.

I too work with kids of all ages with diagnosis and without that have challenging behaviors that either make it hard for them to learn or to socialize/connect or otherwise be at ease in the world. I find that it is important to address the child where he is and not the categorization that he has been placed in. Underlying causes of the behaviors that you refer to as ''borderline ASD'' can be determined and treated.

I would be delighted to talk with you about this and help you come up with some options. One way of looking at this is that you now have some information that you can use to find the best way to help your son be happiest in life. Let me know if you would like some support

3 yo is awfully young to get a dx of Asperger's, IMO, but it's simply impossible to say where the spectrum starts; who's to say what ''normal'' is, anyway? As you know there's no predicting the future, but you can feel better knowing that the sooner you start services with a child on the spectrum, the better the long term prognosis will be.

So, try to think of it not as a label but as a tool. There's something going on with your son that prompted you to see the pediatrician in the first place, and now you have this diagnosis which you can use to get your son whatever services he needs; without the diagnosis, services are harder to get. It's a sad but true fact about ''the system.'' But now you can go to your school district and get an IEP and he will be protected by federal law, and with that you can help him with whatever he needs in order to live his life. You are his greatest asset!

Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions or if you want to freak out with somebody who has freaked out, herself! Jill

I didn't tell him about it until last year and he was quite upset at first but he tells people about it himself now. When he was little he had many behavior issues which were often stressful. Tantrums, pickiness, things had to be a certain routine. As he gets older it gets so much better. We are constantly blown away by how smart, funny, and aware he is. He is an unbelievable reader and interested in just about everything and able to entertain himself for hours. And yes, he is finally making friends. It is important to have perspective and to know that it gets better. Do not sweat the small stuff, choose your battles carefully, and make sure his teachers are not head-butters, but understand his thought processes and what makes him tick. Who his teachers are is extremely important, I can't stress that enough. Good luck.

I won't be surprised at all if I'm told my son has Aspergers or is borderline. I was researching it a few months back. (I hadn't paid too much attention to Aspergers as my son has a speech delay and Aspergers kids tend not to have speech delays -- although, I believe they're reclassifying that.) Anyway, I looked up Aspergers symptoms in adults, just to understand what challenges adults face. It basically described my husband! I almost fell over, but it made so much sense. It also shed a lot of light on his father (my father-in- law) as well. After the initial shock and head-spinning (I still haven't mentioned it to him), it was actually a comfort. My husband is warm, gentle and loving and a wonderful father. He has a great job and lives a happy life. There is nothing 'wrong' with him. I've always known that he's wired in a totally different way than I am. I think my son is wired like his dad. As his speech therapist told us -- autism is a difference in learning style. So you're lucky that you'll understand how your son learns. I think you're right not to tell people for now. We've kept it to ourselves too. But I think it's a question I'll really struggle with. It's a shame we can't get in touch with each other. Perhaps through the moderator? Good luck. Anon

Elizabeth Sautter, M.A., CCC Speech Language Pathologist/Director

Communication Works Speech* Language* Social Learning 4400 Keller Ave, Suite 200 Oakland, CA 94605 510.639.2929 phone 510.639-2977 fax

Although we accepted and worked with the diagnosis through middle school and most of high school, it turned out to be completely wrong. During those years, many ''experts'' believed that he had mild Asperger's and others said he had some sort of atypical high-functioning autism. They all leaned on the ''spectrum'' part of the diagnosis to explain why he was so unlike the other kids with Asperger's/HFA/NLD at school. He was not helped at all by this incorrect diagnosis, which led to ineffective treatment, lowered or inappropriate expectations, and a great deal of frustration (and justifiable anger on his part). He only began to reach his potential in a setting where some smart, experienced people were willing to approach him with a clean slate and figure out from scratch what works for him. Good idea to keep the diagnosis private for now -- I can't tell you how many people out there probably still believe my son is autistic. Hopefully you will learn more once the speech and language people have had a chance to work with him for a while. One thing we learned is that science still doesn't know all that much about the brain, though they're discovering so much all the time. There may not be a name for whatever your child is experiencing. There's no specific diagnostic label for our son, though the people who were successful with him can describe in detail the types of language processing difficulties he has (which are quite different from the language issues associated with the autism spectrum).

Disclose Aspergers diagnosis to peers in high school?

Our son will be starting high school this fall, at a small private school in SF. He's very bright but struggles with fitting-in and feeling different(he sees a therapist & attends a social thinking group once a week). The local public middle school has been tough for him socially as kids think he's just ''weird'' and ignore him, but he has a few close friends that are very accepting and ''get'' him and are aware of his diagnosis. More than anything, I want my son to feel successful in high school, but would disclosing his dx to peers make him more of a target or are kids more likely to be more accepting and understanding about his challenges? I can't help worrying. Worried mom

After about two weeks I talked to the rest of the class when the new student was not there. I explained what Aspergers is, what the behaviors are, and gave them some strategies for interacting more positively with her. They were SO RELIEVED! They actually interact with her more often now that they know how to redirect her and are not afraid to be explicit about her behavior and/or their expectations.

She still manages to be wildly inappropriate and cause giggles in the classroom, but the other student are no longer frustrated or annoyed and the disruptions have been totally minimized. Her classmates actually thanked me for letting them know and have been great about attempting to integrate her into our classroom community. --In favor of disclosure

10-yo's social difficulties; he doesn't know he has Asperger's

My 10 yr old son has very mild Aspergers syndrome, which is mostly positive in that he is very bright, inquisitive, polite, and reads voraciously, loves facts, games,and older kids and adults enjoy him. But, he has a hard time with making and keeping friends his own age who don't ''get'' him and he doesn't always understand their social cues or when they are being sarcastic. Where can we find other kids for friendship who have a similar situation?

Second question: he has not been told yet about his diagnosis as I don't know what effect it would have on his self esteem. He already thinks that something is ''off'' because he gets teased in school and told me he feels like a different species from the other kids. It breaks my heart to hear that but telling him is very delicate and I'm afraid he would stop trying to make friends if he knew. Eager to hear from others with experience. Berkeley Mom

But this issue is a big one with me: When and how to discuss his ''disability.'' He has brought it up obliquely to me at different times. Most recently (last week), he presented it more directly than ever: Out of the blue, he asked me if he had ''autism, since people with autism have social skills issues.'' (He knows he has social skills issues because he has gone to groups in and outside of school.) I'm not sure where he got this connection between this ''brain disorder'' as he put it and his own issues, but I'm sure it's around his school, on the radio, etc. I really didn't know what to say, and the moment passed.

I'd love to talk with you moreif you'd like, and possibly have the boys meet sometime, and see if that works. J

You may also consider a social skills group where he can meet other like-minded peers. There's a pretty comprehensive list at http://www.aspergersresource.org. Hope this helps!

As for whether and what to tell him, that's a tough one. I've heard from people who feel very strongly that a child should be told of a dx as early as possible, and others who feel that there is no need to tell anyone, including the child. My son has a ''provisional'' diagnosis that isn't very specific anyway, so there's not much in the way of a label to give him even if we wanted to. I do feel the need to explain to him why he goes to group (and other therapies), because even though he hasn't asked, I suspect he might be wondering. My husband and I talk with him about how everyone has things that they're really good at, and things that challenge them, and while he's really great at math and reading, recess and playing with friends are sometimes challenges for him. So, we explain, he gets some help with those things just like some other kids get help with math. If your son feels that he's ''different'' and doesn't know why, it might help to talk about it. The way you described it in your post is very positive and sounds like a great starting point for the conversation. Good luck -- these things are so hard and no one prepares you for it! Oakland mom of a lovable quirky kid

My adult brother has just been diagnosed with Asperger's

My adult brother has just been diagnosed with mild Asperger's Syndrome. This is something I have long suspected. But it is a surprise to him, and what's worse, it's an embarrassment. I would like to help him find some relief and comfort in knowing more about himself, and also advice on how to interact better more mainstream people. I keep thinking that if he was a kid, there'd be playgroups and all kinds of ways to help him overcome his awkward social abilities. I am wondering if anyone out there can help me find books and webesites about how to deal with such a diagnosis as an adult, and good ideas about how to move ahead and live a more integrated life. Thank you. anonomous

I think a girl at school has Asperger's - should I say something?

Our daughters are both in the second grade at the same school. We've been friends for three years, but not close friends. Her daughter ''E'' has been tested and is ''profoundly gifted.'' My daughter is an average student in the same class.

E has a habit of ''checking out'' ALL OF THE TIME. Mom has mentioned it to me and others. The child has many of the symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, no eye contact, social behavior several years younger than actual age, has difficulty carrying on a conversation, retreats after 5 minutes or so of social contact, etc. I mentioned Asperger's casually once and Mom made a statement similar to ''profoundly gifted children often look like they have a problem, Asperger's, ADHD and others - it's because people don't understand profoundly gifted kids.''

School has started and E's symptoms are more pronounced than ever. Someone who has known E for most of her life said ''It's like there's NO spark left. It used to be she checked out 50% of the time, but since the end of last school year it seems as though nothing is inside the shell any more.''

Do I say something? If so, how do I say something? Since the girls are in private school, there are not the assessments and the therapy available that would be given in public school free of charge. It should be stated also that this is a single mom on a limited income. Want to do the Right Thing

My advice would be to say something, maybe do a little research first and be armed with an article, about how the two can look similar, but it's still best to ''know.'' Emphasize how worried you are, how you've noticed a change lately, and how much you want to help. Even if you go to private school, she might still be eligible for an assessment through whatever you local school district is, it wouldn't hurt to make a call to the district's Special Ed office just to see what they say. Good luck, this is a tough one Jill

14-year-old headed for high school, worried about loneliness

Our 14 yo son is heading into 9th grade in his academic private school (he's been there since kindergarten), and we are worried. He has incredible intellectual abilities, but has verrry slow processing speed. His grades went from As to Cs and Ds this past year, mainly because he can't keep up with assignments. His work is A+, but his school values getting the work in on time, period. He won't consider going to another school at this point (we have discussed Orion with him). He has been diagonosed with Asperger's, OCD, ADHD (minus the H), Tourette's, depression, anxiety d/o nos, and volitional falsetto. He has no close friends, and only a few not-so-close friends, but he is one of the nicest guys I've ever known, and a good companion, so I'm hopeful he'll find soulmates one day. His main sadness is ''loneliness.'' We are really struggling. We would like to hook him up with similar kids. Are there any groups out there for similar teens? Are we foolish to keep him in this school? hopeful mom

As for the choice of school issue, if you are fortunate enough to have the option of an independent school, it might make sense to find a place that will understand and work with your student's strengths and weaknesses to bring out his best. There are several independent high schools in the Bay Area that might be more accomodating of your son's processing issues. Urban School of San Francisco and Drew both come to mind as great high schools that reportedly do an excellent job accomodating special needs. Orion or Springstone School in Lafayette, on the other hand, have high schools specifically intended for spectrum teens and thus try to go beyond just accomodation to actually include targeted instruction on how to address and mitigate a student's particular issues. If you do consider switching schools, keep in mind that some of your son's reluctance to change schools might be due to the rigidity and resistence to change so typical of spectrum kids. Wishing you the best, another spectrum mom

We think our 2 year old has Aspergers Syndrome

My husband and I have a strong suspicion that our 2 1/2 year old son has Aspergers Syndrome, and both my mom and our nanny have also had the feeling for some time now. I've contacted the pediatrician, and he said the first step was to take our son to a speech pathologist. Right now, I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. I want to do what's best for my son, but I just don't know where to start. Are there any support groups out there? We live in Walnut Creek. I'd appreciate hearing anyone's story of the steps they took to diagnose their child, and the treatment/help they got. Thank you. sad mom

I'm not an expert, just a mom of a child with autism, but I disagree with your pediatrician. I think the first step would be to get a diagnosis, and you can't get one from a speech pathologist. You can call the Regional Center (rceb.org) or you can go to a private doctor (I recommend Dr. Erica Buhrmann in Albany (510) 540-5320). I've also heard that Dr. Brad Berman is good (I think he's at Children's Hospital? I don't remember), unfortunately if you go with either the Regional Center or Dr. Berman, you'll probably get put on a long waiting list, so if you can afford to see somebody privately, that's your best bet.

Once you get your diagnosis (and who knows, you might be wrong!) you'll be able to make a better choice about what to do next. In the meantime there's a lot of reading you can do online: http://childbrain.com/pddassess.html is good, so is http://www.autism.com/ari/atec/atec-online.htm and also some online support groups http://autism-pdd.net/ Feel free to contact me directly if you want, I've been there!!!! Jill

I'm not sure what issues you are dealing with but it couldnt hurt(as your ped suggested) to go to a speech pathologist as you may be able to get a speech assessment through them, HOWEVER I strongly recommend calling the regional center as they will do a full assessment- which unlike a speech assessment would be able to indicate things other than just speech issues (occupational, speech, behavioral etc.) It wont hurt to get speech therapy in the meantime, but since there is a wait list to get a full assessment it would be nice to be on that list now just in case there is something else going on and the therapy doesnt do as much as you might of thought it would. There are a ton of helpful websites, although until you have a diagnosis it will be hard to know which direction to turn. I know the feeling- I knew something was going on but until an assessment and diagnosis there is a lot of waiting and speculation. I would definitely be interested in meeting up sometime, my son is close in age to yours, and we live in Oakland. I was actually going to post something this week looking to connect with other parents so that we could provide support, exchange resources and form a possible playgroup. Also my little one is awake right now but if you contact me I might be able to suggest some websites that you might find helpful..Best- lily

An assessment by a speech/language therapist can be a good place to start. You can contact the Regional Center and ask them to evaluate your child. You can also set up an evaluation with a developmental pediatrician - your regular ped can help you with this. My son was diagnosed 5 years ago and it felt like the end of the world but I assure you that it isn't. best wishes and feel free to e-mail me, Laura

Also, because he is 2 1/2 , call the Regional Center for an evaluation (you may want to call them first). http://www.rceb.org. If he qualifies, they will provide services until he is 3, and then the school district takes over. Also, the Care Parent Network (http:// www.contracostaarc.org/html/care.html) can refer you to more resources.

The best bit of advice I got was try not to think too far in the future, just concentrate on the next 6 months. Take it one step at a time, get him evaluated and then you can look at options for treatments. Every kid seems to have a different grab-bag of symptoms and responds differently to treatments, so what is appropriate for one child may not be be appropriate for another. I am in Oakland, but feel free to contact me if you want to talk. Brenna

The process at Children's feels long - they will mail you a form, you fill it out & then they send you a letter & then you can make an app't. I found it actually went pretty quickly (the receptionist person made it sound longer) but I called in about once a week to check progress. They take most insurance. The number there is: 501-428-3006. good luck

I suspect my 11yo daughter may have Asperger's

I suspect that my 11 year old daughter might possibly have a mild form of aspergers syndrome. Does anybody know of a professional that might advise me as to testing or further help? I also understand CAL offers a socialization camp and would appreciate any feedback on that. Many thanks!! confused

Son with possible Asperger's starting school

Hi - I would like to hear from anyone with experience in in our situation. Our five year old son will begin kindergarten in the fall at an Oakland public charter school. We suspect that he may have Asperger's syndrome or another spectrum disorder (PDD-NOS), and will hopefully have him evaluated at UCSF within the next two months. He is a very smart, energetic and sometimes emotional child with some speech delays, and has a little trouble picking up social cues from other children. Are there any parents who have children with Asperger's or another disorder who's children are enrolled in public school? Are your children on IEP's? I would really like some feedback on your experiences in dealing with the school/teachers, as well as feedback on how your children have been able to learn and function in the classroom. My husband and I feel that our son has the ability to do well, but worry how much of a struggle it might be, more so socially. This possilbe diagnosis is a lot to deal with, and we are learning as we go. Thank you for your time. cj

Even if the charter school is not sponsored by OUSD, you should contact the exceptional children program if you live in OUSD's area. Your UC evaluation will give you the ability to request an IEP. That request needs to be made in writing. The key to helping children with atypical neural development is early and continuing intervention. The school will provide some services. You should do more if you can. You mention social skills issues. We used Ann Martin Children's Center. The Center for Social Thinking has been recommended as excellent. Their link is http://www.socialthinking.com/ It won't be easy but there are a lot of resources available now. I hope your path with your son is always one of progress. anon

When your child attends a public school the school is required to provide services if he is diagnosed on the spectrum or with a nonverbal disorder. In our district the speech therapist and full Inclusion teacher provide services. Many speech/language therapists speacialize in Asperger's and nonverbal disorders. The most useful training I have had (also open for parents and on DVD)has been Michelle Garcia Winner's (speech/language therapist) 2 day seminar, a few of her books, and Carol Gray's social stories. I recently ordered a highly recommended book by Dr. Tony Attwood ''Navigating the Social World'' Therapy focuses on eye contact, body language, interacting with peers, whats expected/not expected in different environments, taking turns, ect. The amount of info available can be overwhelming.

The schools are great because we can access their school environment. Make sure the therapist at your son's school has some training. My first case for a social skills only student was 4 years ago. Every year the numbers grow and it is now a significant part of our caseload in Berkeley Schools. I would definately meet with the school principal, speech therapist, school psychologist, and district office special education program supervisors ASAP to get the process started and get your child on their mind, otherwise, it can take a painfully long time to receive services.

Info RE: Michelle Garcia Winner Center for Social Thinking 3550 Stevens Creek BLVD. Ste. 200 San Jose CA 95117 (408) 557-8579 She also has a website

Pamela

Could she have Asperger's?

After the recent posts about Asperger's Syndrome, I am wondering: could this child have it? Starting at age 4, she would insist on the exact fraction for her age, e.g. ''I'm not 4 1/2; I'm 4 178/365!'' She has always been very shy and refused to play with other children in preschool, preferring to hide behind her mother's or other adult's leg. She prefers to read or write stories by herself. She learned to read and write at age 3 and has been keeping notebooks since then. She numbers every page, and if she makes a mistake on a page or doesn't like a drawing, she makes a big black X on the page, writes ''no page'' and renumbers all the pages. Wondering

Is it Asperger's or just shyness?

A friend has just been told that her daughter might have something called Asperger's Syndrome. She wont know until she can be evaluated, and she must wait a very long time for her first appointment to do this. Obviously, my friend is rather stressed about this. She has been trying to learn more about this disorder, but everything she has read (not to mention her Pediatrician's explaination of things) always seems too clinical and difficult to really understand. I was wondering if anybody out there has a child wtih Asperger's Syndrome who can tell us in a parent-to-parent way just what Asperger's is, and how it showed itself in your child? My friend thinks her daughter is just shy, or otherwise awkward around other kids. How can you tell regular shy behavior from Asperger's? When did YOU know something was different about your child?

please note there are a lot of new therapies including a system called RDI and we have found out through an alergist that she is allergic to mold, citric acid and eggs. when ingested we notice obvious behavioir issues. so keep that in mind. your friend might want to have her child tested for allergies.

Please tell your friend that the child she loves still exists, nothing will change that feeling.

we adore our AS girl and would not change one cell of her even with her quirks. I look at it like this. getting this diagnosis has given us an explanatiion and plan for her behavior. this is not something that she will die from but live with. and i can live with that

i will happy to talk to you or your friend - anytime as i know upon first learning about AS - we, as a family were devasted but now we see the light and it is a 6 year old named Claire who lives in our house!!

mom of a wonderful and inspiring Aspergers child. elaine

First of all, Tony Attwood has written a pretty clear description of Asperger's, called Asperger's Syndrome. If you can't get it through the usual channels, let me know and I'll give you ordering info. Besides that, you (and others) are welcome to e-mail me about particular questions you have. This is scary stuff, but there is REAL HOPE, REAL POSSIBILITIES for these kids to get help and to develop further and live fuller lives. mwk

My sister's oldest child, who will be four in April, has been exhibiting "patterning" behavior, or repetitive activities, since she was a toddler. In her case, this has included flapping her arms vigorously, running back and forth, or getting stuck on a thought that she won't drop. The running and flapping usually occurs when when she is excited, switching to a new activity or relating a story or singing. She is a bright child, ahead of her peers in language and number skills, and she has a good sense of humor. Over the years, they have consulted with their pediatrician, who has taken a "wait and see" approach, at least until her language skills are more developed (age 4? age 5?). However, my sister's mother-in-law, who teaches at a school where they are tuned in to developmental problems, does not agree with the doctor, and has been sending my sister information on Asperger's Syndrome, which apparently is something like a mild form of autism. Also, my sister says more and more adults are commenting on the behavior, including her daughter's pre-school teacher, who says that at age three the children are pretty oblivious to what might be considered odd behavior in other children, but by age 4 they start noticing. My sister is worried about what effect this will have on their daughter. To date, they have tried not to make an issue of the flapping, etc., because they don't want to complicate things for their daughter by making her self-conscious. Has anyone had experience with this? Advice?

The point I want to stress is that a parent really is in a better position to sense that a problem *may* exist than anyone else. We can't diagnose our children but we spend so much time with them that we have a much fuller picture of their behavior than any professional can hope to have. Thus, a parent's persistent feeling that there may be a problem, or that their child is "off" somehow, should be taken seriously. Parents who are concerned about behaviors like you describe should have their child checked out, especially when the issue or behavior has persisted for a year or more and they are getting the kind of feedbackfrom others that you describe.

I also want to caution against the impulse to defer to the pediatrician who says "wait and see later." There are a few pediatricians who specialize in neuropsychiatric evaluation and the like, but by and large this is simply not a part of the mainstream pediatrician's active skill-set. I would not refrain from pursuing a concern on the basis of a pediatrician's wait and see advice, although I would take very seriously a positive recommendation for further testing from that source.

Last, I want to emphasize that the decision to get an evaluation is not a big deal. Competently handled it will not trouble the child or make her self-conscious. While I wouldn't embark on (or advocate) a course of *treatment* without a professional recommendation that I trusted, some parental aggressiveness about testing and diagnosis is not a bad thing. We have to be advocates for our little children. The worst that happens is your sister would pay for an hour or two of a psychologist's time and then be able to rest easy whatever the resulting advice.

Evaluation & Treatment

Asperger's Teen Needs Educational Therapist

My highschooler has Asperger's and is in need of therapy (finally agreed to go) as well as educational therapy/help. Linda Lawton and Anastasia Kim were recommended in past posts but I can not locate either one. I would greatly appreciate any recommendations for therapists. Thank you all... mom

Therapist or psychiatrist for Asperger teen

Can anyone recommend a therapist or psychiatrist in the Berkeley area who is skilled in talk therapy for an older teen with Asperger's or Asperger-like challenges? Teen's Mom

Resources in Oakland Schools for 5-year-old with Asperger's

My 5 year old son who is a kindergartener in the Oakland School District just got diagnosed with Asperger's Disorder. The pscyhologist explained that the school is required by law to provide an aide, ''pragmatic speech'' through the speech therapy dept, ''group social skills group'' and occupational therapy. Has anyone else there been through the process of getting these resources for their Asperger's child in the Oakland school district??? Help! Thanks in advance!

Kaiser M.D. to diagnose/treat Asperger's syndrome

Our family has recently changed our medical coverage to Kaiser, Oakland, and we are looking for someone there--a psychiatrist, developmental pediatrician, or other, to evaluate our 10 year old son for Asperger's syndrome, and hopefully, to begin a treatment plan. He has many of the classic symptoms and we're hoping an evaluation will start him on the help he needs. anon

Therapist for 11yo son with Asperger's-like issues

We are looking for a therapist for our 11 year old son. He would like to see a man if possible, but is also open to seeing a woman. Would like someone warm and caring and insightful, who is familiar with Asperger's-like qualities and issues (social issues, anxiety, trouble with transition). Is anyone familiar with Dr. Richard Bloom, Jonathan Gross, John Sprinson? Thanks! Any referrals are greatly appreciated anon

Neuropsych eval for Asperger's in 4 year old

I've read the previous recommendations on the website, but they are several years old and we're hoping for an update. We're looking for a really excellent neuropsychologist to do testing for possible Asperger's in our 4 y.o. Prefer Contra Costa but will go as far as SF. Hoping to find someone who gives concrete and constructive ideas for assisting the child and family with coping and maximizing quality of life. Preferably someone gentle and good with small children. Thanks in advance. anon