Berkeley Parents Network: Commuting with Kids

Berkeley Parents Network

Commuting with Kids

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Going Places > Commuting with Kids

Questions

Like my job but hate the commute time
Maximizing commute time with a toddler in the car

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Like my job but hate the commute time

March 2008

I have been working FT (w/ 1 day at home) at my job for almost 8 years now at a large, very popular company in a job that I do enjoy most of the time. Although I am doing a job a bit different than what I came here to do, I like it, like my boss and also have a lot of vacation time this year. The pay is good, benefits are great and there are a lot of perks I like. There is some travel involved but not a lot and it’s manageable. The only downer is that I have a 45-50 min. commute each way most days and dread all the time I have to waste in traffic. Fortunately my spouse gets home earlier to help with the kids but I miss being around them and missing out on some of their activities. We have a wonderful nanny who takes good care of them so I know they are well cared for and I feel like I get some good, quality time with them when I am home. Our 2 kids are easy and the older one understands that there are 2 working parents in our house. I have thought about looking around for a job closer to home with less commute but am scared to lose some flexibility I have at this job and possibly go to a job I probably won't enjoy as much. I am interested to hear from others if you have done this and if you regretted leaving for these reasons. I just don't want to be resentful that I left something I shouldn't have. And please don’t say to quit and be home with the kids, it is not an option for us. Thanks Working mom

Is moving closer to your job an option? Or increasing your work- from-home days? Or more flexible start/end times so you can avoid heavy traffic? Juggling too

I'm only 8 miles from my office, and it still takes almost 30 minutes. So even if you get something closer, it still may not make a big difference. It sounds like you're in a great spot with your current employer. The economy is faltering somewhat, and more job losses and insecurity are certainly likely. I'd vote for keeping what you have- the flexibility and vacation are worth it compared to the maybe 30 minutes a day you could save on the commute. Nothing worse than feeling like you're in prison in a job. Maybe a plan B- could you talk them into letting you work from home one day a week or even once every two weeks? another working mom

You say you have been there for 8 years. Is it possible to work 2 days a week at home?

Or to leave early two days a week and make up the hours in the evening from home?

Or cut your hours by 10% in exchange for a small pay cut?

Having a job you like, with great benefits and flexibility, is a valuable thing. And the fact that you have been there so long might give you some leverage to make it a little less oppressive in terms of the commute. Good luck keeping the balance

Would it be possible for you to work more days at home - maybe go into work once a week? It seems like you really have a great job, and it probably will be hard getting the same ''deal'' for starters in a new position - you might even end up putting in those hours you planned to save on the commute in your new job?

I was in a similar situation to yours in Boston - long commutes, great nanny, spouse that worked closer to home, worked 1 day from home and was playing with the idea of getting something else.

Then my husband got relocated to the Bay Area, and after much fretting on what to do (resign, get a new job, STAH etc) I just asked my boss that if we could give telecommuting a try - and if it would work it would be a win-win. They didn't have to loose me as an employee - and I got the benefit of working from home with a 10 step commute everyday. So we tried it out and now I've been telecommuting for two years :-)

You are not in the exact same situation, but if you feel they don't want to loose you as an employee, you can have some bargain power with your current employer as well? I think there are a lot of flexibility with a good employer/emplyee. Good luck! Camilla

Look for a new job. If you don't find something that fits you, you'll know at least you tried. But if you never look, you'll never know if there is something as good or better than what you have now! -

Just to make sure I'm reading this right: You have a job you like, a boss you like, good pay, good benefits, good perks and lots of vacation; they let you work at home one day a week, your kids are easy, they are looked after by a ''wonderful'' nanny, your husband gets home early to help out and you feel that the time you spend with them is ''good, quality'' time.

And the problem is that your commute is 45 to 50 minutes each way? (By the way, does anyone in the Bay area have a commute of less than 40 minutes?) Is it that you just hate the traffic (and who doesn't?) All commutes are potenitally a ''waste,'' as you put it. That's why, when my commute was more than an hour each way, I started listening to books on tape and audio Spanish lessons.

How much more time will you save in a new commute that's going to really add significantly to your time with the children? Maybe a total of an hour each day? Yes, that time is precious. But would everyone feel better if you instead had a 10 minute commute to a job you hate?

The only advice I have for you: get down on your knees and with sobbing gratitude give thanks to the heavens above for having such a perfect work situtation. Unless you can guarantee that you'll be able to replicate what you have in a job that's closer (though you would be losing the seniority you've built up at the current job) hang onto this job like grim death. We're in a recession. There are literally hundreds of thousands of Bay area working moms who would be thrilled to have even half the working conditions you state. Kinda shocked at the question

When we decided to start having kids, I took an easy job close to home with flexible hours. (Though know that even though it is only 2 miles it takes almost 15 minutes because it is all surface streets.) Parts of it have been great: I like that I only have to commute a few miles to work and that I can drop by my kids' schools or take them to doctor's appointments. I work at home several hours a day so I'm around a lot, and that's worth a lot to me. But, I feel like my soul is dying. Sometimes it doesn't matter that I'm around so much because I'm so miserable with my job which is 40 hours every week. I wish I had a job I loved. Some ideas to make it better for you:

Could you work at home two (or more) days/week?
Could you work four 10-hour days with one of them at home?  Or 9-
hour days with every other Friday off?
Could you go down to 80% time?
Could you shift your schedule an hour earlier so you are home at 
a more reasonable hour?
Could you carpool with someone you like so your commute doesn't 
feel like such a big time suck?
Could you take public transit and work on the bus/BART/train -- 
work stuff if you can swing it, house stuff (paying bills, 
writing letters, etc.) if you can't.

Being home with your kids is great, but having a job you like with a boss and co-workers you get along with is also great. Sometimes you can only have one. Good luck

Maximizing commute time with a toddler in the car

September 1998

Does any one have suggestions how to maximize the quality of time spent in the car with a toddler? My son Ricky is fifteen months old now, and we spend more than an hour in the car each day commuting together. That makes it a large chunk of his day, and our time together. I sing lots of songs for him, but I was wondering if any one has any other suggestions. Lisa

My kids, aged 6 to 11, adore hearing funny or cute stories about themselves when they were younger, about my sisters and me when we were children, or even about my mother when she was a child. After they've heard them a few times, they enjoy telling the stories back to me, or to others. Beverly

Suggestions about keeping kids occupied in the car: kids music (and story) tapes have worked really well for us since our 4-1/2 year old was less than a year old. Also food (like fruit or a bagel) is a good distraction if it happens to work in with your own meal planning. Karen

My ideas probably relate more to older children, but here goes. My son is in a carpool for about 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon. At first (kindergarten), there were often conflicts in the carpools. The families have treated things differently. At times we have had lots of art supplies (graph paper was often preferred to plain white paper). We listen to books on tape, often available from the library. Singing songs is sometimes fun. Playing "I Spy" is great (and when my son was learning isolated french words, it might be "I spy with my little eye something. . .vert"). We've also taken a portable tape recorder in the car for fun recording and playback, but have also used it to write books -- the kids brainstorm ideas into the tape and then I write them up. (And they are amazingly good, too!) This doesn't necessarily increase the time we communicate with each other, but just enjoying ourselves while we're in a small car has many benefits too! Wendy

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