Where to Meet Other Singles?
Berkeley Parents Network >
Advice >
Family Relations >
Where to Meet Other Singles?
April 2007
Alas, our children do grow up. Any advice where singles in the
30 to 40 age range meet and socialize in the Berkeley and
surrounding area? Our oldest son is back home, socially shy,
working but having difficulty reaching out. Any advice would be
greatly appreciated.
Concerned mom
Your shy son has the best chance of meeting someone of the
opposite sex if he goes to groups that do what he loves doing the
most. For example, if he likes hiking, he can meet single woman
in their 30s by going on hikes with East Bay Casual Hiking Group
(hiking.bondon.com). It's a great place for shy people in their
30s to meet someone of the opposite sex. Bicyclists and runners
also have groups in the East Bay. You can be shy and do quite
well in those groups. I know I'm focusing on sports groups here,
but it applies to all groups i.e. book reading groups, artist
groups, meditation groups for people in their 30s, religious
singles groups, etc. If he participates in lots of activities
that he truly loves, he is bound to meet someone sooner or later.
Anon
March 2007
How does a 50 year old single mom meet a progressive single man? Where do
progressive single men (with or without kids) hang out? Craigslist is filled with
flaky
ads for superficial connections--not what I'm seeking. What advice do you have for
this artsy, intellectual, attractive, post-modern, fit, very progressive mom who is not
into bars. Farmers markets? Cafes? Poetry/ book readings? Would such a guy approach
a woman with a child? Has anyone been successful in this 'endeavor'? People always
tell me I am such a find---so where do I go to 'get found'?
anonymous
If you find out let me know! I find that the men ''around here''
aren't very outgoing. Is it layed-back California? Everyone is so
passive and won't make the ''first move''. It could be the age or
the child factor, who knows?? I'll be interested to see if any
single men answer!
45 y.o. single mom, also a ''catch''.
Have you signed up for Quake Radio's events list? KQKE 960AM is a
great station affiliated with Air America. In fact they are
having an event Mar. 29 in Redwood City. www.quakeradio.com
progressive mommy
Oooh, one more. I also remembered that Tumble & Tea in Oakland
has events called ''Single Parents Rock.'' Visit
www.tumbleandtea.com and sign up for their emails to get a reminder.
progressive mommy
i am a single man with a child. i am 63, my daughter is 8
and i have half custody of her, am very involved with her and
her life.
i don't know if ''progressive'' describes me. i am probably
best labelled ''outright radical''. i don't drink, watch tv, have
or want a cell phone, am not religious, don't eat garbage or
drink coffee. don't like anything connected w/ disney or
hollywood. my daughter and i play ball, do art, play games,
read, do math problems, sing, i take her to martial arts,
gymnastics, practice piano with her, help her with homework,
take her to softball (now that basketball is over), discuss her
social life (almost as difficult as mine; go figure), and host
play dates whenever possible.
never tried craigslist, but have been on match.com for over
a year now; not much happening there for me, as the women my age
all want to travel (i hate it, even had i time for it, which i
don't between my work and my daughter) and most women my age
also seem to feel they have ''been there, done that'' in terms of
raising small children. women younger of course want someone
more their own age.
no one has told me i am ''a find'' but i do hear lots about
how ''easy'' it is for older men to find women. not my
experience, AT all.
if you think we might have anything in common, please feel
free to drop me a line.
doug
I can't really vouch for these yet, but I just signed up for
greensingles.com and green-passions.com, which are dating sites
for progressive singles. There don't seem to be a ton of Bay Area
members, but there are some, and you might get lucky. It's worth
a try, anyway.
also looking
Nov. 2005
Three years post-divorce with the children stablized, I am ready
to start dating. I already did Table for Six, have hit a few
drinking establishments, and have done activities that I enjoy.
The men at Table for Six were nice but always a little off the
mark - they seemed to be sort of stuck in place, or too eager -
maybe it was just me but it was hard to connect. One of the
activities produced a terrific connection but otherwise there is
no rhyme or reason to meeting people. Can you tell your stories
about the best way to meet people - other than match.com or
craigslist? I don't like to hike so the Sierra Club is out, and
in general, I have little time - a Friday night or Saturday
night here or there. I'd like to be more systematic!
anon
Have you ever tried partner or social dancing?
Would you want to try partner or social dancing?
There are places where you can learn a partner dance with no partner
required. You can learn ballroom, east coast or west coast swing,
latin, oh the list goes on.
I know that, at least in the queer community it has been a great way to
make new friends, meet new people and to have some fun.
Be bold, go out, learn something new (or brush up the dance lessons) and
get out there!
Check out San Francisco Dance Company on College Ave. near Clairemont
Ave. or try Allegro Ballroom in Emeryville- they might have some
information and can give you some direction or offer some suggestions.
Good luck!
Social Dancer
Hey, if you find out let me know!! I'm tired of the internet, have some
really BAD dates! I hope that I will just bang into someone coming out
of the supermarket or video store, as that's about all I do these days
besides going to work. I heard about dharmamatches.com, but haven't
tried it, might be too ''groovy''. I wish there was:
nicesingleartistguylookingforrelationship.com!
Really, let us know if you find a nice person and where. I have my own
theories about when we will meet the right people, but have yet to feel
like it's really been proven true or not and won't waste this space with
it.
Good luck
also ready to date
I made a concerted effort to meet someone 4 years ago at age 37, after
finally figuring out the block I'd had for decades re what I was looking
for in a man/partner (which boiled down to realizing I should be seeking
respect/nurturing/''being there''
rather than excitement/intellectual stimulation). Other things that
helped: seeing a therapist, reading Excess Baggage-- Getting Out of Your
Own Way by Judith Sills, accepting that I might not ever find a partner
and that my life was full of love and excellent as is, and letting go of
my desperation, melancholy and bitterness about not having found someone
yet or ever.
Once I felt like I was on the right track, I discussed with
friends/acquaintances--in an upbeat, marketing sort of way, not in a
desperate, needy way--what I offered someone and what I was looking for
in someone. I was very specific, even on surface things like
appearance. (I think it's important to be proactive with folks when you
want referrals because otherwise they don't realize how seriously you
want to meet someone.) Lo and behold, a classmate immediately
identified her brother-in- law as a good candidate. Within a month we
had a date, and four years later we are married and just had a baby.
Good luck!
PS I was upfront pretty early re wanting to be a parent. Too many times
in the past I had not brought it up early, only to end up getting
involved with someone who didn't want kids or didn't want to think about
it for five years,and then prolonging the agony thinking they would
change their mind (which they didn't).
kw
I started dating again when I was about 42 and it took a year or so to
really get going. The basic advice I have is to find a group or two or
three that do something you like: play games, read books, go to film
noirs, whatever. You can probably find listings on Craigslist and by
asking around as well. Go to the activities and if you don't meet any
interesting men for a while, well, at least you'll enjoy the activities.
And eventually, given enough time and activities, you will meet someone
(or someones)who you'd like to date, who'd also like to date you. And
you will at least have one thing in common you both like. The basic idea
is to take the pressure off ''finding someone'' and just enjoy yourself
and let it happen.
Good luck
Dianna
Jan. 2003
Any ideas of where to go/what to do in the Bay Area to meet
single, Jewish men, within, say the 35-45 year range?
anonymous
Look through the newspaper called The Jewish Bulletin. It comes
out once a week. You can probably pick one up at any JCC.
There are ads in it for single groups and also a big list of
personals. It seems to me too that the Berkeley/Richmond JCC (on
Walnut and Rose sometimes has singles gatherings. They have a
schedule of classes and events that you could pick up there or
get on their mailing list.
I would also recommend classes at any of the larger synagogues
in the area (I say larger cause the pickin's will be better than
at a smaller congregation).
Good luck and have fun.
Been there
To meet single Jewish men, you should definitely try
doing a posting on the website ''jdate.com'' My friend has had
some very good luck there and is now happily dating a very nice
and successful M.D.
--anon.
Jan. 2003
Where do single leftist men hang out? I'm not the type to go
to bars, but do love the multiculti arts scene, some political
events/ talks, cafes, but haven't done any of this in a few
years so I could use some recommendations of places that
I could go to alone, but might be conducive to an engaging
conversation/ connection. (I tend to be drawn to artists and
academics) I'm a single mom, in my early 40's and it has
been a few years since I've 'been on the scene', but am
ready to pursue some kind of romantic relationship. I'd
appreciate any recommendations.
I met my husband 14 years ago at a Sierra Singles
volleyball game. If you play any kind of group sports, it's a
great way to meet guys. Sierra Singles in the Bay Area used
to have events almost every night of the week and on the
weekend. I would say most of the men were left-of-center,
environmentalist types who like outdoor activities. My
girlfriend who was in her forties at the time also met her
husband at a club event, but it took her several months of
attending events where often there weren't very many men.
She preferred hiking to group sports. She ended up making
some good women friends too and that in itself made it
more than worthwhile. Good luck.
What's worked for me is Craig's List. You can be as specific
as you want, and there is a fairly wide variety of seekers
available.
You will have some ''growth opportunities'' during FIrst
Dates, and if you place a ''Women for Men'' post, you'll get
some inappropriate replies (among the 60-70 you'll get),
BUT I met my current lover, 2 women who are close, close,
platonic friends, and had several other lovely encounters
through Craig's List.
One other thought for direct meetings: Meetings. There are
several progressive movements around this area, generally
around ecological and political issues. You may have
noticed a growing anti-war movement, for instance. Chose
your agenda, and ''keep a close watch for the ties that bind'',
and I'm willing to imagine you'll find the love that's out there.
If my ex-mother in law can find a new love at 70, you can too!
Been There, Done That
La Pena Cultural Center! Get their monthly calendar, go to some events, and you will find leftists galore.
Around CAL campus is a good start. I often eat lunch along
Bancroft in the little cafes and there seem to be a good crop of
unaccompanied men willing to chat. My advice is to do things you
like to do and chat with people you meet there. For example,
volunteer work that might be ''male oriented'' like building
houses for Habitat for Humanity. You could also sign up for a
leftist sounding class at the UC Extension. Many mature students
go to Extension classes. Anti-war protests, anyone? How about
local Sierra Club hikes? There is a whole Sierra Singles group
my sister met some nice guys at. Good luck!!! If a recent Oprah
show was any indicator, they are out there! Suggestions on that
show included match.com and ''speed dating.''
another ''leftist'' in Berkeley
I can't speak for all SLM's, but I can speak for myself... I
don't go to bars but maybe that is just me... Instead I would
recommend checking out ''www.meetinggame.com'' . They hold
periodic mixers and the format gives an effective but low
pressure way of meeting people. It is not directed toward
leftist's but I would expect that the Berkeley events have a
good representation. Also the Sierra Club singles events are
good and then there is always match.com.
a slm
Home |
Reviews |
Advice |
Members |
Post a Message
Join BPN |
Help |
What's New |
Search |
Contact Us
Last updated: Jul 3, 2007
Copyright © 1996-2008 Berkeley Parents Network
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network. Please see
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.