Observant Jew married to Jewish atheist who likes Christmas

We are a generally-very-compatible couple seeking advise/guidance/formal mediation? in dealing with the immense and perennial conflicts surrounding observance of any kind of religious/seasonal rituals in our house. One parent is fairly observant Jewish and likes to do seders, celebrate Hannukah, etc.; the other is a Jewish atheist who grew up with (and feels very fondly towards) Christmas trees, gingerbread houses, and painted Easter eggs (but no church, crucifixes, etc.). The observant parent is not comfortable with the ''let's just celebrate it all'' approach, and the non-observant parent is resentful at having to jettison all childhood traditions. The conflict has - predictably - gotten even more intense with the arrival of kids. We are not looking for folks to weigh in as to what we ''should'' do, but rather, looking for a recommendation as to a sympathetic third party with some experience in these thorny matters who could help facilitate a calm discussion that would lead to a long-term plan for dealing with holidays in our family. Thanks for any help!

2) Interfaith connections in the east bay at: http://interfaithfamily.com/iffconnections/bayarea-greatereastbay.phtml. They have many workshops, and provide counceling services as well. There are events that involve extended family as well.

3)While you asked for no advice, having been through it myself, I strongly suggest you remember this is YOUR family and you (both) should set the rules. They do as they like in their home, they do as you do in your home! peter

I write this as a Jewish educator of many years, who has worked with a very diverse group of families. In my experience, including my own marriage, every family is an 'interfaith' family because every partner brings his or her own spiritual attachments to it. It may not make it less painful, but you should know your conflicts are not unique. Keep talking! Carol