Sharing a House with Aging Parents
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Sharing a House with Aging Parents
My 89 year old mother can't continue to live alone. One
of my sisters has offered to share her home with Mother
but wants to be compensated for providing room, board,
time, attention, and other sacrifices she will undoubtedly
need to make. All siblings are in agreement but want to
be sure we can pass a significant amount of money to
custodial sister without running into legal or tax
difficulties. We also do not want to ''hire'' our sister
and become her employer. Has anyone else solved this
problem? We have consulted a lawyer and a tax advisor and
neither of them came up with a real solution for us.
Thanks very much for sharing ideas.
I think Family Caregiver Alliance can be a great resource
for you. Call 1-800-445-8106. You'll most likely get a
human being who knows what they're talking about and/or
guide you to resource. Also, they'll know your local
support group which might be a good way to get feedback.
We have a similar situation. My M-I-L recently fell at her
home. The Dr.s say she had some minor strokes that may
have caused the fall. She did not break anything but is
not able to take care of herself any longer. If she stays
in the assisted living place it will cost approx. $5K or
more per month. If we bring her into our home we will
need some in home care to help with her care. My husband
feels comfortable in using her savings to pay for the home
care and reimburse our household for costs up to the $5K
per month that they would be paying if she is in an
assisted living facility. He says he would do the same for
his sisters if either of them would offer to take her into
their homes... but so far they are not offering just
leaving it up to him to care for her. I just recently saw
how much time and effort it takes to care for an aging-ill
parent, my mom, before she died. It is a huge undertaking
of both time and money. You should be thankful your sister
is offering to take your mother under her roof and be glad
to help with the costs. She will never receive enough to
compensate for what it takes; physically, emotionally,
Not sure what I am missing here because I am a little
dismayed that your advisors have not informed you that you can
give anyone up to $13,000 per year without any tax issues.
This means that you and your siblings can give this amount
each and so may any spouses. If your sister is married, you
and the siblings and spouses can also give up to this amount
each to your sisters spouse. Your mother's estate can do
the same. If your mother has no assets, then you could also
gift to your mother in order for her to pay her direct
living expenses. But then again this is probably not the
right forum for this kind of advise.
I'm looking for other's experience as well as financial
solutions for caring for elderly parents. My mother in law
wants to live with us and we want this to happen as well. The
problem is that our current home is inaccessible as well as we
don't have the space. We have a two bedroom home with a child
and are up two flights of stairs. We were looking to buy another
home and sell our current home or rent a larger home in our
community so that our child could continue in the current school
district. The problem with renting another home is that we will
likely only get a year lease and in our community rentals are
competitive and we have specific needs--virtually a level in
home is necessary as my mother-in-law walks only with a walker.
This means that in order to guarantee that our child continues
in the same school district, we can't sell our home--as there is
uncertainty regarding a rental longer than a year. Either way
we need help from my mother in law to do this. She requires a
lot of care and we will need approximately 40 hours of hired
care per week while we are at work and we will provide the care
in the evenings and at night. If we didn't need to keep our
home we could put our current mortgage payment towards the rent
of a larger home. We don't really think our delicate 90 year
old home it is a good rental.
We therefore were wondering if it
is fair to have my mother in law rent the larger home and we
will pay for utilities and food and make sure that her care is
always covered--she will pay for the 40 hours of care a week,
but we will make sure there is always someone with her and my
husband and I will be responsible for the other 128 hours of
care per week. My mother in law has been at assisted living
since her husband of over 50 years passed away last year.
However, she has eaten all her meals in her room by herself
except when we are able to come over. My husband visits my
mother in law every night on the way home from work pushing our
family dinner back to an absurd hour. His daily visit is
necessary as there have been a number of mishaps at this very
expensive top of the line assisted living place and we want to
take better care of my mother in law than this. Anyone with a
similar experience, and/or creative solutions or ideas, we'd
welcome your advice. This is a dilemma that we need help with.
Thank you very much.
I think there is no problem with having her rent the bigger
house. These kinds of arrangements where the elder provides the
housing so that everyone gets what they need is typical. The
value of having you close and mitigating the isolation justifies
the expense for her in my opinion. Isolation is a very serious
problem for seniors. You are truly in a sandwich situation trying
to meet everyone's needs. I applaud you for that.
I am hoping someone will have some great ideas about managing the
difficult relationships with my nearly 80 year old mother-in-law, with
husband, daughter and I live. We recently moved into my mother-in-law's
with the intent of helping care for her. She has emphysema, lives in a
isolated area and suffers some of the expected difficulties that come with
(can't do some of the larger household tasks like taking out the trash,
vulnerable, is hard of hearing, is losing some cognitive function).
Now that we are living here, it seems like a bad idea, but one that would
to extract ourselves from. In the few months we have been living with her,
become increasingly clear that my mother-in-law needs the extra care we
providing. But her impact on us (me?) is exhausting. I am having
difficulty with the
lack of my own living space. We are in my mother-in-law's house, so it is
domain, and I find myself living almost exclusively out of my bedroom. I
worked on my own patience, on appreciating my mother-in-law while she is
here, on understanding the vulnerabilities and difficulties of aging, but
to feel like The Incredible Shrinking Woman.
My mother-in-law is also having a difficult time with our 5 year old, who
much more energetic and emotionally capricious than she remembers children
being. Nana loses her temper easily, doesn’t hear or misunderstands much
her granddaughter says, and although my daughter loves her grandmother,
sometimes direct about “wanting a break from Nana.” We have tried to make
Nana knows she has license to correct behaviors and give consequences
she sometimes just yells). We have worked with my daughter about being
with her Nana, and we have discouraged Nana from taking too personally the
changing moods of her granddaughter.
I’m not sure what to do. I feel like we made a commitment that we
out of, and that is good for Nana, but is doing me in. Any advice would
Maybe Grandma wants you out too! She might have bitten off more
then she can chew having you move in....Is it possible you can
live nearby and help her daily and you each have your own space?
Can she/you afford to have help come in?
And lastly...would she be willing to move to a retirement or
assisted living residence?
I can tell you it will only get more difficult as she gets older
and if she has longevity in her genes she could live a long
life.You said some of her cognitive functions are going which
tells me that will increase slowly over time.
My mom just passed away in April at age 94. She started losing
her memory at about 90 or so. It was a sad and frustrating
downhill path from there. Fortunately for me and my brother (and
her) she lived in a retirement residence where she went from
independant living to assisted living to nursing care (she was
there for 7 years).
Money is certainly a concertn when making a switch from living
at home to a place like that but your sanity is also a priority.
EVen if you stay there and live with her, have a talk with her
and find out how she wants it to be. Is there a way to separate
the house somewhat so you each have your separate spaces?
Can you hire someone to come in and help even if you are there?
Good luck. You're a brave woman. This is a big undertaking.
I feel for you. Would it be possible for you to get your own
apartment nearby? You could still spend the day with your
mother-in-law, but it would help a lot I would think to have your
own place to retreat to when you need to. It could be that nana
is finding she needs her own space too sometimes. Good luck. I
hope it works out. You are a really good person for taking this
Consider encouraging your mother-in-law to participate in the
Alzheimer's program on Channing in Berkeley for socialization
Goal: to broaden her focus, lift her spirits BEYOND the
This is the trend to help maintain elders at home as they age.
1) engages the elder
2) provides respite for the family members.
In addition, although you did not establish some guidelines
prior to moving in, you certainly can discuss your needs and
hers since she seems to have cognitive function enough to do so.
If you need mediation or facilitation: you can invite a
geriatric care manager to assist. National Association of
Geriatric Care Managers on the web for local referrals.
Being a caregiver to a family member can suck the life out of you!! It is one
things that is expected of you to take on as a family member, however, there is
little acknowledgement and information out there about how to do it without it
adversely affecting your health, sanity, work, hobbies, friends, etc... Being a
caregiver to someone with a chronic condition requires a different approach
caring for someone who is dying. A chronic illness such as emphysema can go on
for many years. It is crucial to pace yourself and get help. There is a great
organization called Family Caregiver Alliance that is based in SF and serves
counties in the Bay Area. You can call them for a consultation and/or
well as take advantage of their respite and educational programs. Their number
(800) 445-8106. Their website is www.caregiver.org. They do not charge for most
of their services. You dont have - and shouldnt - try to go at it alone.
Ah, you and your family are in a difficult situation. I have two
suggestions: the most important is to join a caregiver support
group (even if it is online). The second suggestion I have is if
your family can afford to pay for a caregiver either for a couple
hours a week or a few hours a day so you and your family have a
break from doing ''care duty.'' It will be vital to your sanity and
your family's well-being to get some extra help in the house to
take some of the burden off of you. I help this helps. Good luck~!
It is really tough to take on the responsibility of caring for
parents as they age. I applaud you, your husband and your
daughter for being so giving. While it is a hard situation, even
under the best of circumstances, there are things you can do to
help make the situation better. Sit down with your husband and
talk candidly about what the long-term plan is for your
mother-in-law's care. Will you be living with her and caring for
her until her passing or is this a situation you will be living
in until she becomes incapacitated? Are there other relatives
who may be able to share some the responsibility for her care?
Is an assisted living facility or home care attendant something
you can afford or would consider down the line? I found that
having a plan when it came to my stepfather's care was incredibly
helpful in reminding me that the situation I was dealing with
would not last forever.
I also encourage you to make time for yourself, your daughter and
your husband. Schedule at least one weekend a month, if you can
swing it, away from grandma -- or at least make it so that you
don't have to be the primary caregiver for those two days. Work
with your husband to carve out some space in the house -- even if
it's over your mother in law's objections -- that belongs to your
Part of the upside of this situation is that your daughter and
the rest of the family will be able to spend quality time with
your mother-in-law before she passes away. You don't want your
child's last memories of her grandmother to be shouting matches.
Try to ID activities that your daughter and mother-in-law can
enjoy together and encourage that -- even it's just watching
Jeopardy every night. Then give your child space to be the 5 yo
she is away from grandma. You may also want to look for a
support group. Sometimes just having an hour or two to vent is
Hang in there and remember that even when your mother-in-law
can't or won't say it, I am sure she really does appreciate
having you there.
so grateful to have had that time
More and more of my clients are in this situation
(the ''sandwich generation''). From your post, you seem very
caring and concerned about your mother-in-law and your child,
and are trying to do the best you can being a good wife, mother
and a daughter-in-law. It might be helpful for you to have time
for yourself, where you can work on what is best for you, so
you can take care of the rest of your family and not burn out.
Looking for a therapist is easy with the internet, try
www.eastbaytherapist.org for local therapists.
I have not experienced the sam situation, but my sister lived in
the same town with her father-in-law who had emphysema. I do
know from her (and from my husband who has bad asthma) that a
reduction in ones oxygen intake can drastically impact one's mood
and level of patience and quickness to anger. So your lively 5
yr old in your mother-in-law's house with her fragile emphysemic
temperment may be a very difficult mix for the duration. If you
chose to stick with it, do so with a good understanding of how
her condition is likely to progress. If I were you, I would find
a counselor to help you, at least, if not your child and husband,
too, through the duration of your time with your mother-in-law.
Also, does your mother-in-law have an old dear friend or two who
can come by and visit with her on a regular basis? Sounds like
you will each need time off from the others in order to get
through this time. It is truly wonderful that you are all doing
your best to make this work. It can be very difficult work, and
it sometimes is impossible, and another solution must be found.
I suggest you consider your choices very carefully, since your
mother in law may be around for quite a while still, and you
probably want to make sure you have a sustainable healthy
situation for all. I think you are entitled to make mistakes and
reconsider your options, if something is not working, you should
be able to find other ways to deal with it: hire help, provide
help in withouth sharing the house, day facilities, nursing
Frontline has a documentary on care for elder people that is very
insightful, titled ''Living Old,'' which you can watch online. The
web page for the program lists many useful resources, too.
My mother in law recently moved to the East Bay, and although we
are not living under the same roof, it's presenting new
challenges for us. An older friend gave me the advice to have
the situation looked at by a social workers. The social worker's
job is to interview everyone in the household about how it's
going and then to discuss the matter openly and nonjugementally.
My friend said it was a huge relief to have someone asking the
hard questions, and also to offer advice that made sense. I bet
you could find referrals for social workers in your area from
your doctor or your mother-in-law's doctor.
thinking about it too
My parents, aged 57 and 67 have a lot of debt (somewhere between
80K and 120k) due to a failed resturant business. They live in
Miami. My mother has just found a job for $10 an hour but my
father's English skills are not good and at his age, it is very
hard to find work or even have the energy to work. We have lent
them large sums of money and they have paid us back before their
creditors by selling a peice of property. They own a condo with
very little of it paid off and have a monthly mortgage of $840 a
month, which is a good deal. They can't declare bankrupty because
they paid me back instead of the creditors. We are in the process
of moving to a very large home and my parents have begged me to
let them stay with us. My husband is completely against this (and
rightly so) because my father's personality is very difficult for
me to be around without being very stressed!
I want to help. I feel it is my duty regardless to take them in.
I have tried to find them credit counseling, housing, job help
and other resources and am at a dead end. I have no more money to
lend as they still owe me 5K and I am putting everything into my
Does anyone have any suggestions on how I may help them without
upseting them about not moving in with us?
I'm sure this is not what you want to hear, but why did you buy such a
big house if you don't want to share it with anyone? It seems awfully
cold to not want your parent in your new, huge home, especially when
they are in such a bad state. Even if your parents are not always that
fun to be around (neither are mine, believe me) you could use the space
to put some distance between you and them. I don't have any debt
You obviously care very much for your parents or you wouldn't be asking
for help. Your parents also care very much for you or they wouldn't have
paid you before their creditors. In any event, it sounds like you not
letting your parents live in your house is a good idea since your father
doesn't get along with your husband.
However, if you were able to build an in-law unit on your property then
maybe your parents could live there. They could sell their condominium
and use the proceeds to pay for the construction of the unit. That way
your parents could live on your property without them being in your
house. Another possibility might be a reverse mortgage since your father
is a senior citizen. Provided your parents continue to live in the
condominium, the money from a reverse mortgage might pay off their debts
and give them something to live on. Also, have you consulted an attorney
in Florida to see if your parents might qualify for one of the chapters
of bankruptcy? I know they paid you first before their creditors, but
with some legal help, they still may qualify. Lastly, have you tried
asking other family members if they might be willing to split some of
the cost of helping your parents? Maybe you and another relative could
put together a private loan or some other form of assistance? Since you
have shouldered most of the financial burden up until now, it would be
nice if some other family members helped out. I know it's difficult to
ask relatives since family members not directly related often don't want
to help and there's always the risk of alienating them, but then again
it may be worth asking Anon
My mother is 65 years old, is bipolor and may have the onset of dimentia. She
currently lives in an in-law on our property but her acute mania/paranoid delusions
is making living anywhere near her impossible. She believes my partner has bugged
her house, violates her in the night, is having an affair, has stolen items. moves
items just to make her crazy..... - we don't have a key to her house and with and
even with an added deadbolt my mother has has no sense of security so she refuses
to sleep. She has gone to neighbors asking them to hold important papers, my
partner fears for her own safety, and our two year old regularly witnesses bizarre
behavior and has to deal with her grandma acting like a jealous sibling.
The problem: we want her to leave but she has spent all of her savings and
has not been on stable treatment (though Kaiser is trying). She may be able to
move to live near other relatives out of state, but shouldn't in her current state. We
need a short term and long term solution. Eventually she will need to be in some
sort of assisted living but we have no idea where to start to find options. Any
My heart goes out to you in this very difficult situation. It
definitely sounds like the onset of dementia. This is exactly what
happened to both my grandmother 12 years ago and her sister, within a
year of each other. They exhibited almost identical behavior to what
you're describing in your first paragraph. She lived several thousands
of miles away from my father in Florida, so my sister was the one who
first alerted us to the severity of her behavior. I strongly encourage
you to find her an assisted living facility specialized in
dementia/alzheimer's care and try and get her in asap. They are out
there. The trouble is the cost. The way my father did it was that he
put her in the facility and used all her personal resources to pay for
it until her money literally ran out; now she has no money and medicare
is paying for it. Once you are in a good place, by law they cannot make
you leave. We found the biggest challenge was finding the best place
and then getting a spot. That did take some time, so you might have to
wait a bit. Sometimes the waitlist can be a year or two. The only
other suggestion I have is to find a great geriatric support specialist
- a doctor, nurse, social worker, or other professional who knows the
ropes and can help you work the system. It can really be miserable to
try to figure it out alone. By the way, it has been 12 years now, my
96 years old, and has been cared for very well all these years by
specialists trained in working with dementia patients. It has been a
safe, secure, positive setting for someone who is so terrifed of the
world. Good luck.
granddaughter of a dementia patient
I would recommend calling Adult Protective Services (in Contra Costa the
# is (877) 839-4347) in your county and asking them to come out and
visit your mom. They cannot make your mom talk to them, but they could
possibly help you with some options as to how to handle the situation.
They could also assess your mom and see if she might have dementia. One
option is to become your mother's conservator, if she does have
dementia. For that, you would contact the probate division of the
court in your county and APS could help you with this. Good
I am sorry to hear about your Mom. Hang in there! There are
some great resources for family members.
The National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)has really good class
called Family to Family. It's run by family members for family members
of people with brain disorders and it is a great resource. The Nami
affiliate in Alameda County telephone # is (510)835-5010, or
(510)524-1250. (925)646-5798 in Contra Costa.
Or go to nami.org. I took it after my husband was diagnosed with Bipolar
Disorder, and it has helped so much.
There is a family advocate in Martinez that is really wonderful. Gloria
Hill (925)957-5146. She may be able to refer you to someone or place in
I wish you all the best. I hope you find the help you need.
My husband and I are at an impasse. His mother is reaching an
age where she is planning to retire (67 yrs) and he is
insisting that within the next year or so she should come live
with us. His mother is a very controlling and difficult
person. They do not get along and she does not like me very
much. Indeed she does not like her own son very much. She has
said to me countless times that their family was very surprised
that my husband married me as they thought he would have
married someone with a higher social class background than
mine. She has told me that she does not consider herself my
mother-in-law because she is not ready for this role, nor is
she ready to be a grandmother to our children. My inlaws are
still married, but my husband does not believe that his father
will be willing to move in with us so he just expects his
I do not like this woman. I do not want her having any
influence over my children for reasons too many to go into.
What should I do? I do not want to come between my husband and
his family, but this is worrisome. And I certainly do not want
to spend my days interacting with a very disagreeable person.
I think that you may have lost the bigger picture at hand- which
is completely understandable as your monster-in-law seems to be
consuming a vast portion of your energy. I understand your not
wanting to come in between your husband and his family, however,
I think you need to point out the fact that this woman shall and
will come in between you and your husbband and your kids. This
is unacceptable. She sounds very toxic and I'm guessing that
only bad things shall come to your home with her being in it.
Perhaps she can consider a retirement community- say Rossmoor in
Walnut Creek? That scenario would cater to her
limited ''reality.'' I wish you the best of luck!
Been there & stopped that.
My advice is DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow your mother-
in-law to move in. Do whatever you have to do, including going
to marriage counseling, to convince your husband that it would
be the absolutely wrong choice for your entire family. Based on
what you've described, I don't understand why your husband would
want to have his mother move in. The only thing I can
understand is cultural/family obligation (which I have in my
background). These feelings of obligation are strong, but can
be worked on sensitively with the right counselor.
In my case, both my mother and father moved in at my and my
husband's request, mainly because they were elderly and I felt
guilty about not having them live with me, but I also genuinely
thought it might work out. Even though I had memories of an
unhappy, dysfunctional childhood, I thought that time and age
would have mitigated the problems. They didn't. Every one of
my worst fears came true. Having my parents around put enormous
stress on the whole family, including my child, created a great
deal of tension between my husband and me, and resulted in a lot
of ugly scenes before my parents finally moved out (at my
request) after 9 months.
I also do not suggest having your mother-in-law move in to see
how it works out. In my case, my parents were much more upset
that I asked them to move out than they would have been had I
not had them live with me at all. Every case is different, but
what worked for me is having my parents live nearby (there are
some low-income housing options for seniors in the East Bay)
rather than in my house.
You should also consider the impact having an unhappy, stressed
out mother would have on your children. Perhaps if the issue is
framed in this manner, your husband might reconsider his choices.
You have got to be kidding. Suggest to your husband that he
could move in with his mother instead. Don't let them control
you and make you miserable in your own home.
Daughter in law
I read your message and could relate on an intimate level, with
one exception, my mother is the difficult, disagreeable one who
I strongly feels ''dislikes'' me. We once had a potential move-in
situation, that I feared greatly(she's 76 and retired). I
evaluated the situation, and realized that I had to be SELFISH
if I wanted to maintain a serene, calm, loving family life with
my husband and children. A life much different than the one I
was raised in(a lot of verbal abuse from my mother). From all
the things you mentioned about your mother-in-law, I absolutely
would NOT let her live with you. Why have someone so difficult
living in your home(sanctuary) who has been very forward about
the way she feels about you and your children? If your husband
feels guilty about not having your mother move in, send him to
therapy, it's a much cheaper(in terms of saving your family)
alternative. Your husband's first obligation, now, is to you and
your children, not his mother. I always tell my sibling, that if
my mother needs assisted living help, or whatever, I will send
MONEY, but she absolutely could not live with me!
In reading your message, I get the idea that your husband is
becoming like his mother. His mother is controlling and hard to
get along with, and now he is acting like that. I doubt that
taking a stance and fighting about the topic will help. I
suggest that, without making any committment, you explore the
possiblities. Talk about what space she would need in the house,
how housework would be shared, how often she would see her
husband, how money would be handled. It will be hard, but talk
about sharing childcare also. Try to keep an open mind. I also
think you should open up this discussion to other concerned
people. Talk to the mother-in-law, her husband, your children.
your husband's siblings and anybody else who might be
concerned. Perhaps, if you seem open to the idea, he will find
something else to fight about. This will not necessarily be an
Why would a married woman want to leave her husband and move in
with her son? Seems a bit wild. But after having a discussion he
still wants her to move in, start negotiating. Insist that you
get something just as crazy. Maybe you want a yacht or five more
kids. Maybe you want your father to move in.
You say that your mother-in-law does not like you much. She
would probably not like anyone her son married. You also say she
doesn't like your husband much. Isn't it interesting that he
wants her to move in if they don't like each other?
My mother died last week and I have had to move my frail,
slightly senile (senile dementia and/or early stages of
ALzheimer's) 79-year-old father into our North Oakland home from
his home in rural Nevada.
My father is docile and does not require custodial (nursing)
care, but he is very frail and absent-minded--forgetting what he
has said or done from one minute to the next; he was utterly
dependent on the company, care, and supervision of my mother. He
is somewhat lost at the moment, not only because he has lost his
wife of 58 years but also his home and familiar routines. Rightly
or wrongly, my husband and I believe that placement in an
assisted living situation right now would be devastating. He
needs someone to be available to him, make him lunch, and
generally ''keep an eye'' on him while he adjusts to a new life and
home situation. I was thinking of possibly hiring a
combination housekeeper/companion who could perform light
housekeeping tasks, prepare and feed him lunch, and monitor his
forrays into the backyard to smoke cigars while I and my husband
are at work. We have one teenage son in high school living at
home and two sons in their early 20s who are in and out
throughout the week and weekends.
I would be grateful for advice on the feasibility of such a plan
and any information or leads on elder care services. Many
The Center for Elders Independence is a not-for-profit program
with sites in Berkeley and Oakland. The goal of the program is to
keep elders in their communities and with their families for the
duration of their lives. Participants are picked up at their
homes during the day and brought to one of the program sites,
where they receive full social care, medical care -all sorts of
things. The goal of the program is to provide the highest
quality of life possible for elders, by providing all
necessary professional care while the participants are still
rooted in and connected to their family, friends and communities.
The phone number at CEI is 433-1150. I believe that if your
father qualifies for Medicare, the program costs are fully
covered. You'll have to call to find out. I'm sure you'd be
able to ask to talk to sons and daughters of other participants,
to hear what they think of the program. I do know that it's
considered a national model for elder care.
Check out www.calnhs.org. This is a new website with
information on all the Californian nursing homes. It also has a
section on alternative care.
Help! Does anyone know of a support group or other resources available for
dealing with difficult issues that arise when elderly parents live with you?
My elderly parents are living with me and driving me and my husband
nuts. They are generally cantankerous and constantly criticize me,
particularly when it comes to my parenting style and lifestyle choices. I've
tried reasoning with them (e.g., this is my house, I'm raising my baby in a
manner that I see fit, we need to mutually respect each others choices and
lifestyles, etc.), but they are incapable or unwilling to change. Kicking
them out is not an option for various reasons (they would probably end up
homeless). My therapist doesn't have any great ideas, either. I'm hoping
to find a group of people in a similar situation with whom to share
information, or at least commiserate. Thanks in advance for any ideas!
At the end of my rope
For the family concerned about not having enough resources to deal with an
aging parent at home: While they're on the other side of the bay, you might
consider Parents Place ''Seniors at Home'' program, 415 491-7959. They
provide a variety of services for the whole family, including help/support
and resources for families dealing with an aging parent. I hope this is a
Michael Y. Simon, MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist)
There is an organization in Oakland called Jewish Family Services (sorry, I
don't know the number). They have many services including counselling and
supportive type of help for the elderly. (You don't have to be Jewish). good
There are several really good retirement residences in this area for elderly
people. My mother lives in a really nice place in Oakland (she could NEVER
live with us).
If you'd like more info. about where my mom lives, please write to me. Good
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