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Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Family Relations > Where to Meet Other Singles? > Dating Services



Do you have experience with EHarmony?

Feb 2008

I'm an African American woman--open to dating any race--and thinking of trying the eHarmony website. Does anyone have any experience with this company? I know they are decidedly Christian and I'm fine with that, but I'm just wondering if anyone real, i.e. not just the success stories on their website can toot the horn for them. Thanks. Lynn


I don't know of anyone who has actually used EHarmony but I did read an article recently where the founder stated that he did not believe that interracial relationships work in general. I am not sure if this affects who they match you up with or not. EHarmony doubter
i only have indirect experience w/eHarmony. My brother met his wife through them. Neither is Christian nor particularly religious at all. He had been married once before (disaster!)and every girlfriend he had previously seemed such a horrible match. He could not be trusted to find his own mate! I cannot believe how perfectly my brother and his new wife seem to balance each other. I was shocked at the lengths they went to through eHarmony (expense, questionnaire process, etc) but I cannot deny that they seem made for each other and certainly made me believe there is something to all the hype. Anon
Well, my little sister's getting married this summer and she met the man on eHarmony. She has dated him for 18 months and is amazed at how well they get along. She credits the eHarmony system with finding such a good match for her. I don't think she would have met him otherwise. They are both divorced with kids. She's in Austin TX so here in the Bay Area YMMV, but I generally think internet dating is great. (The internet is where I met my awesome husband way back in 1998, the early days of match.com.)

Watching friends use match.com lately has shown me that there are a lot more ''serial daters'' on there now - which is fine, if you're not looking for a long-term relationship. I was skeptical about my sis using eHarmony at first because I thought there would be NO men on there (the whole idea seems very female to me) but she met a good one! I think the advantage is that eHarmony is a little more LTR oriented. The guy really has to do some work to get his profile going, so he's probably not there just to get laid. Hope this helps! rb


My sister in Texas has been using eHarmony for about a year. She chose it because she is active in her church and was looking for someone who is also religious. She has gone on several dates since joining but she told me that she doesn't feel that the guys were very compatible with her, which was irksome considering that she filled out "29 pages of information" about herself. She also said that she had a problem with receiving referrals for guys who live much too far away. She had specified a 60-mile radius (she lives near Austin) but has been hearing from people who live in New York and Chicago. She said she complained about this and was told it is just a bug in the software. Big Sis
My former coworker went on Eharmony and is now getting married to a guy she met there. At the time she was 45, never married, no kids and had been single for YEARS. I don't know how long it took to meet him -- how many losers or just OK guys she went through first! -- but it ended up a very happy story. I tease her that they should be on one of the commercials.

One thing that is wierd is that she is a rabid Democrat and he is a rabid Republican. They do an extensive questionnaire before matching people, so not quite sure how that match made it through the filtering system! And I'm not sure how they reconcile those beliefs, especially in an election season. But they have been together for two years now and I'm going to the wedding in August. Happy for her


Best Online Dating Service?

Nov 2004

I'm looking for a recommendation on the best way to meet a man between 50 and 60. I'm 54 with a 9 year old daughter who I have half time. I've tried Match.com without success. Are there places singles of this age group hang out? Anyone out there have a nice single male friend they'd like to fix me up with? Desparately seeking a mate


Sorry Match didn't work out for you, I met my husband through Match! If you enjoy hiking, you might try Sierra Singles. Most of the men in the group are in the 50 plus range. Try several events before giving up. Good luck! Anon
I met my partner through matchmaker.com. I also tried match and liked matchmaker better. We've been happily together for more than 4 years. Ann

Thinking of signing up for Table for Six

Dec. 2003

I am thinking of signing up for Table for Six. Does anyone have any experience with this that they can share? Thank you!


I joined Table For Six in another city. I was actually writing about my experience for a newspaper article but I was single at the time and open to meeting someone.

Generally I found it a pleasant experience. I tended to have a lot more in common with the other two women in my group than the three prospective dates. Mostly I enjoyed myself, had good conversations and did not feel vulnerable or threatened (it helps that everyone is in the same vulnerable situation).

However, I think if I had been more serious about finding a dating partner I would have been disappointed. At the time I was 31, and most of the guys were over 40 -- many of them divorced with teen kids. I felt I had little in common with them. One of the organizers confided in me that there were too many women on their books who were over 40, and too few men willing to date this age group. I think this is a universal problem in the world of lonely hearts. anon


I tried Table for Six four years ago. I thought it was a great idea at the time, but due to the illness of a family member and changing jobs, I wasn't able to go to as many dinners as I wish I could have. The dinners that I did go to were kind of a mixed experience for me. I'm on the shy side, so making conversation with five people I didn't know was difficult for me, but I wanted to make an effort. Most of the restaurants were nice, and most of the people were nice and/or interesting. When I joined I was given the impression that some effort went in to matching people, but at some dinners, I wondered how I ended up with the group that I did. Also, with one exception, I was always the only single parent in the group. I ended up dating the one man who also was a single parent for a couple of months.

Table for Six seemed expensive at the time, but I wasn't meeting anyone at work, or in the grocery store, etc., so I did the math and realized that if I went to one dinner a week, I could meet 156 men in a year. Of course I didn't end up going to one dinner a week.

I don't know how much they charge now, but you should be sure that you have the time and inclination to go to a reasonable number of dinners in order to make the cost worthwhile. It's likely that there is a significantly larger pool of people than when I was a member, so the odds may be better for you than they were for me. anonymous


I used Tables for Six for about 3 months and am now in a long term relationship (but didn't meet him there). A plus is that they will freeze your membership for however long, while you are in a relationship. I liked their Adventures the best and met the people most like me there...whitewater rafting, whalewatching, hiking, etc. Another positive was that you knew everyone there was single and looking, whereas, just going on a Sierra Club trip or some such, you wouldn't know that. I met a couple nice guys and went out with one once. I found the women were generally much more ''successful'' especially socially and enjoyed talking with them more than the guys. The dinners seemed expensive and I heard from a guy who had done a bunch of the ''match up'' type dinners that the women were no where near what he had requested. Good Luck! I was introduced to my guy by a mutual friend who had known both of us for years. Had she done it a few months earlier, I could have saved $3000! anon
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