Berkeley Parents Network >
Family Relations >
Where to Meet Other Singles? > Dating Services
I'm an African American woman--open to dating any race--and
thinking of trying the eHarmony website. Does anyone have any
experience with this company? I know they are decidedly
Christian and I'm fine with that, but I'm just wondering if
anyone real, i.e. not just the success stories on their website
can toot the horn for them.
I don't know of anyone who has actually used EHarmony but I did
read an article recently where the founder stated that he did not
believe that interracial relationships work in general. I am not
sure if this affects who they match you up with or not.
i only have indirect experience w/eHarmony. My brother met his
wife through them. Neither is Christian nor particularly religious
at all. He had been married once before (disaster!)and every
girlfriend he had previously seemed such a horrible match. He
could not be trusted to find his own mate! I cannot believe how
perfectly my brother and his new wife seem to balance each other.
I was shocked at the lengths they went to through eHarmony
(expense, questionnaire process, etc) but I cannot deny that they
seem made for each other and certainly made me believe there is
something to all the hype.
Well, my little sister's getting married this summer and she met
the man on eHarmony. She has dated him for 18 months and is amazed
at how well they get along. She credits the eHarmony system with
finding such a good match for her. I don't think she would have
met him otherwise. They are both divorced with kids. She's in
Austin TX so here in the Bay Area YMMV, but I generally think
internet dating is great. (The internet is where I met my awesome
husband way back in 1998, the early days of match.com.)
Watching friends use match.com lately has shown me that there are
a lot more ''serial daters'' on there now - which is fine, if
you're not looking for a long-term relationship. I was skeptical
about my sis using eHarmony at first because I thought there would
be NO men on there (the whole idea seems very female to me) but
she met a good one! I think the advantage is that eHarmony is a
little more LTR oriented. The guy really has to do some work to
get his profile going, so he's probably not there just to get
Hope this helps!
My sister in Texas has been using eHarmony for about a year. She
chose it because she is active in her church and was looking for
someone who is also religious. She has gone on several dates since
joining but she told me that she doesn't feel that the guys were
very compatible with her, which was irksome considering that she
filled out "29 pages of information" about herself. She also said
that she had a problem with receiving referrals for guys who live
much too far away. She had specified a 60-mile radius (she lives
near Austin) but has been hearing from people who live in New York
and Chicago. She said she complained about this and was told it
is just a bug in the software.
My former coworker went on Eharmony and is now getting married to a guy
she met there. At the time she was 45, never married, no kids and had
been single for YEARS. I don't know how long it took to meet him -- how
many losers or just OK guys she went through first! -- but it ended up a
very happy story. I tease her that they should be on one of the
One thing that is wierd is that she is a rabid Democrat and he is a rabid
Republican. They do an extensive questionnaire before matching people, so
not quite sure how that match made it through the filtering system! And
I'm not sure how they reconcile those beliefs, especially in an election
season. But they have been together for two years now and I'm going to
the wedding in August.
Happy for her
I'm looking for a recommendation on the best way to meet a man
between 50 and 60. I'm 54 with a 9 year old daughter who I have
half time. I've tried Match.com without success. Are there
places singles of this age group hang out? Anyone out there have
a nice single male friend they'd like to fix me up with?
Desparately seeking a mate
Sorry Match didn't work out for you, I met my husband through
Match! If you enjoy hiking, you might try Sierra Singles. Most
of the men in the group are in the 50 plus range. Try several
events before giving up. Good luck!
I met my partner through matchmaker.com. I also tried match and liked
matchmaker better. We've been happily together for more than 4 years.
I am thinking of signing up for Table for Six. Does anyone have
any experience with this that they can share? Thank you!
I joined Table For Six in another city. I was actually writing
about my experience for a newspaper article but I was single at
the time and open to meeting someone.
Generally I found it a pleasant experience. I tended to have a
lot more in common with the other two women in my group than the
three prospective dates. Mostly I enjoyed myself, had good
conversations and did not feel vulnerable or threatened (it helps
that everyone is in the same vulnerable situation).
However, I think if I had been more serious about finding a
dating partner I would have been disappointed. At the time I was
31, and most of the guys were over 40 -- many of them divorced
with teen kids. I felt I had little in common with them. One of
the organizers confided in me that there were too many women on
their books who were over 40, and too few men willing to date
this age group. I think this is a universal problem in the world
of lonely hearts.
I tried Table for Six four years ago. I thought it was a great
idea at the time, but due to the illness of a family member
and changing jobs, I wasn't able to go to as many dinners as I
wish I could have. The dinners that I did go to were kind of a
mixed experience for me. I'm on the shy side, so making
conversation with five people I didn't know was difficult for
me, but I wanted to make an effort. Most of the restaurants
were nice, and most of the people were nice and/or
interesting. When I joined I was given the impression that
some effort went in to matching people, but at some dinners, I
wondered how I ended up with the group that I did. Also, with
one exception, I was always the only single parent in the
group. I ended up dating the one man who also was a single
parent for a couple of months.
Table for Six seemed expensive at the time, but I wasn't
meeting anyone at work, or in the grocery store, etc., so I did
the math and realized that if I went to one dinner a week, I
could meet 156 men in a year. Of course I didn't end up going
to one dinner a week.
I don't know how much they charge now, but you should be sure
that you have the time and inclination to go to a reasonable
number of dinners in order to make the cost worthwhile. It's
likely that there is a significantly larger pool of people than
when I was a member, so the odds may be better for you than they
were for me.
I used Tables for Six for about 3 months and am now in a long
term relationship (but didn't meet him there). A plus is that
they will freeze your membership for however long, while you are
in a relationship. I liked their Adventures the best and met the
people most like me there...whitewater rafting, whalewatching,
hiking, etc. Another positive was that you knew everyone there
was single and looking, whereas, just going on a Sierra Club
trip or some such, you wouldn't know that. I met a couple nice
guys and went out with one once. I found the women were
generally much more ''successful'' especially socially and enjoyed
talking with them more than the guys. The dinners seemed
expensive and I heard from a guy who had done a bunch of
the ''match up'' type dinners that the women were no where near
what he had requested. Good Luck! I was introduced to my guy by
a mutual friend who had known both of us for years. Had she done
it a few months earlier, I could have saved $3000!
this page was last updated: Oct 10, 2008
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network