Online Dating Services
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Where to Meet Other Singles? > Online Dating Services
Help! I am 54 and need some non-judgemental advice about dating. I left my
bullying husband and took my 19 month old daughter with me 16 years ago. I
have not dated since, partly because of the trauma of the abuse in the
marriage, and partly because of the time struggle in trying to raise and
provide for my daughter alone. Fast forward to where I recently joined a
dating website because I realized my life was passing by quickly and I am
lonely and worthy of love. I sometimes feel unattractive but my friends
tell me I am pretty. I found someone that stood out from the others for his
intelligence, kindness, and humor. I also liked how he looked, not perfect
but attractive enough (I don't hold attractiveness as my #1 requirement but
it is a thing). I recieved messages from many more men than I expected,
some of them very handsome but not a match for me in other ways. So...as of
yet I have not met this man (he has put it off). It has been about a month
and we email daily. I love his emails. He writes amazingly, and makes me
laugh. He periodically states, when I send a picture, that I am ''too
pretty for him''. I asked him to stop saying it because it makes me sad. I
could see from the pictures that it was not true. Right now he is out of
the country for two weeks on a vacation and we continue to email. Today he
sent me a picture and he is considerably more overweight than his profile
pictures. I feel a little deceived but cannot deny that I really like him
and still want to meet. Unfortunately, I cannot say that I am physically
attracted to ''the new him''. It has put somewhat of a damper on my
feelings. I know that weight is something that is somewhat superficial and
can be changed, though not easily I realize. And I can't start a
relationship on the basis that he change. Am I just too much in a hurry to
fall in love after such a long time to be mad at him? I don't think I would
have pursued it had he posted an accurate picture but I am glad I did.
Still I don't know if it will go anywhere. What do I do? Wh!
at and how do I feel?
Signed: Feeling Disappointed
I recommend cutting off your correspondence with this gentleman: either do the
slow fade, or tell him that your interest has taken you elsewhere.
Here's the thing: though weight is ''superficial'' and ''changeable'', it's
unlikely to be either in the context of a potential romantic relationship
(perhaps different if you'd known the guy for 20 years, and then he put on some
weight). The guy wasn't straightforward with you at the beginning - by sending
an out of date photo - and the things he's saying - you're too pretty - are red
flags that he doesn't have his own house in order.
When I did online dating (early 2000s) as a 30-something, I quickly found that
the guys who wanted to string the email communication on for weeks at a time
were usually the ones who were hiding something - painful shyness, insecurity,
instability in their own lives. One guy had only a few teeth in his mouth!
Another was absolutely aimless in his life, and was looking for a partner to
provide direction. A guy can spend all day crafting the perfect, funny,
thoughtful email, but he might be a horrible conversationalist, or totally
insecure, or way overweight. These are things you need to find out early, not
after weeks of Cyrano de Bergerac type emails.
Though it can be painful, many people suggest keeping the emailing to a minimum
and meeting for coffee as soon as you know that you have some small amount of
interest. That way you can start getting to know a real person, rather than an
Pen pals need not apply
I read a recent article in AARP magazine about dating over fifty.One red flag is
if you have not met in over a month.Often there are scammers that will keep
buttering you up and soon he will need to borrow money to come see you,because
his credit cards got stolen or some stupid lie.I would be suspious of this
guy.That should help your decision.I hope you find someone worthy.
Lots of women and men of all ages look for love on the internet, due to time
constraints; for example my twenty-five year old tenant found her current love
on the internet.
Some internet Romeos are married or partnered; others like to write, and write,
and write; others are unsuitable by age, girth, smoking habits, or grammar.
However, internet dating is a numbers game, and involves meeting dozens of men
in person to see if there is a mutual spark. The only way to proceed is meet,
Your new interest has lots of red flags- out of the country, too busy to meet,
etc. It is like filling a vacancy of any sort; a tenancy, a job opening, a new
sale. Cast your net wide, and then begin to interview - in person. See the
Ellen Barkin film - Sea of Love for one method of scheduling meetings.
Veteran of the Million Man March
Most important piece of on-line dating advice - one email, one reply and an
easy, public get together - Starbucks on a weekend morning. Do not email for
weeks unless you are interested in an email based relationship. Face to face,
within a week. Otherwise something is up. I'd say there are many red flags
flying for the guy who is on vacation -- let him go and move on. Or schedule
coffee. And then decide.
It's totally ok to feel put off. He was not honest from the beginning and
although he might have done it because he feels ashamed of his appearance, he
broke your trust in him. You have not met him yet, so it is better to stop
things now. You are not being superficial. You have the right to feel the way
My advice is to keep on looking! Do NOT be in such a hurry! You waited this
long, and took your time doing an extremely valuable thing; being a good mother
to your daughter. Good for you! Now you deserve some fun and love. Please wait
for other men who are READY and willing to date you, and to pursue you. This guy
is not. He has taken the easy way out of fulfilling his self esteem and flirting
needs by being a good, witty writer and making you smile. However, he was
dishonest about his profile. Men often do this on dating sites. It is SO common!
Normally they post a picture that is ten years old. You should also be clear in
your profile that you would like to see current pictures of men, not old ones.
If he ever decides to seriously pursue a relationship, he will lose weight and
get into shape, and then be honest about the way he looks. You haven't even met
him yet and already there is a red flag. As far as being superficial; you are
not. Obesity can lead to impotence, or some kind of sexual dysfunction. Also,
what if you want to go hiking with him, or swimming or on a roller coaster? Good
health is important when looking for a new mate. We women have to get into the
best shape we can before we date; let the men put that energy out as well. You
Just be his friend.
I don't think this guy's weight is the problem here. The problem is that you
have been emailing for a month and he hasn't tried to meet you. Your statements
that he is putting it off and now is ''out of the country'' further confirm that
something isn't right. When you connect with a man, whether online or in
person, and he really likes you and he is serious about trying to date you, he
is going to make that meeting happen as soon as possible. The warning signs
point to the likelihood that he is in a relationship and is testing the waters
or he is not at all who he has portrayed himself to be - he is starting to roll
out information that he is not what he represented in his profile, which means
he is dishonest. I am giving you some tough love here because I have been
dating online and offline consistently for a good 30 years and I have seen it
all. There are a lot of men out there, especially online, who are in
relationships and they go online looking for attention, validation, a thrill,
whatever. You have to be careful, you have to pay attention to red flags, I
know it's exciting after all of this time but don't abandon all common sense. I
think you should tell him that you want to meet this week or you are going to
stop emailing him and if he continues to put you off then seriously stop
emailing, period, cut it off and move on. If he does agree to meet, you may
find that the chemistry is really strong and his extra weight doesn't bother
you. You still need to be mindful of his lack of availability, that is a big
red flag. But in any case online chemistry does not equal in person chemistry
and you always have to meet to find out and if it's not right then move on. I'm
not really a fan of online dating for these reasons. Get out and do things that
you like to do and you will meet men who are also doing those things. If you
see a man who you are attracted to make eye contact, smile, and hold the eye
contact for at least 5 seconds, if he likes what he sees he will probably
approach you. Sometimes it's that easy!
Don't get catfished
I am in my 60's and have done internet dating on and off for a long time. First
advice: unless there are large distances between you, do not email forever
without meeting the person. You don't want an email buddy, you want a
relationship. Not saying he's a scammer, but this is how scammers get you
hooked. They talk for ever and ever so you get emotionally hooked. Have you
spoken on the phone? Do you know where he is geographically? do you know his
last name? if you do, research on the internet to find if he's real. Your
problem is not that he might be overweight, this could be way more serious than
that. People use other people's photos, lie, etc. You need to be very very
cautious with on-line dating. If he's not willing to talk on the phone and make
definite plans to meet you, you need to be done with him immediately.
Nobody can tell you how you should feel, so I'll stick to the facts that you
This man has put off meeting with you preferring to keep a correspondence going,
and he has lied to you about his appearance. I find both to be red flags. Why
lying is a red flag doesn't need explanation, I think. Preferring a
correspondence to meeting in person it's sometimes linked to the easiness of
creating a false sense of closeness and trust through words when, in reality,
you don't know how this person behaves because you have not met him yet. In
other terms, words are much less expensive than actions. I hope that you have
not revealed too much of your personal information because, well, you don't know
On the other hand, he could be a shy man very self-conscious about his weight,
but I would still find his choice of lying about it questionable. If you decide
to meet him, you could let him know that you didn't like that he misrepresented
himself and that this type of behavior doesn't inspire trust. And since this is
an advice post, I'll add that if you can't arrange a meeting with him shortly
after he has come back from vacation, it's time to move to the next profile.
I gather this is why he has not pushed for a 'face to face' meeting yet.
I have done my share of on line dating and here is my advice.
Meet him. See if you like him. I dated a guy once I met on line and he was
wonderful although a bit heavier and than I expected and desired. It turned out
not to be an issue with me at all. And actually he ended up naturally losing
weight while dating me as I tended to be more active and calorie conscious.
If you don't feel attracted to him after meeting a few times, then move on to
the next man. But note that if someone keeps an on line presence but does not
offer to meet in person, that is usually a sign of something not quite right.
been there/ done that
It's human nature to mate with only those you are attracted to. Don't feel bad
and don't think you're being ''superficial''. Google 'matching hypothesis'
That being said, you should still give him a chance and meet with him because
some people take crappy pictures. Also, having that face to face meeting would
determine if you are truly attractive to him or not. The weight might not be as
a big of an issue if you find something attractive or endearing about him.
Not a psychologist
Just adding in a slightly different slant on what's already been said (which I agree with).
Between emailing and meeting is...the telephone. I am very intuitive about what's a
''match,'' especially based on how someone expresses themselves on the phone (tone of voice,
humor, rhythm, do we have anything to talk about?, etc.) Many would say that they, or a
potential partner, especially an introvert, may not present well by phone. True enough, but
it's something to consider if you want an additional layer of information before meeting.
It's my rule that I talk on the phone before meeting, because I don't actually want to sit
for an hour with someone that I'm not feeling a ''click'' with. And, to highlight previous
advice, do not waste time investing in someone that you've not met (whether texting,
emailing, day dreaming, talking about). Hold each meeting lightly and see what comes. Good
I have done online dating in the past, seven years ago. I'm kind of scared of beginning with the dating thing all over
again. So, I have two questions: which sites do you
recommend? I'm looking for a serious relationship with a
mature and educated guy. I'm in my late 40s, by the way.
My other question is: have you used anyone to help you write
your profile? I did it before but I feel now like I need
some help with that. Thanks. Anon
I've been doing the on-line dating thing for about 5 months
now (feels like an eternity!). The sites I like the best are
OkCupid and Match. I've also explored, but didn't like,
JDate, Plenty of Fish, Chemistry, Tinder, and eHarmony.
OkCupid has the most people representing the widest range in
terms of lifestyle - kinky to straight, educated to less
educated, monogamous to non, wealthy professionals to
starving artists, etc. Whoever's not on there is probably on
Match and vice versa, so you likely cover almost everyone in
your target between the two. I like OkCupid because it's
kind of the thinking person's free dating site. You can
write whatever the heck you want, it's super user friendly,
and the survey questions (answer about 200-400, though there
are 1000's - it goes quickly) can help prescreen folks or
provide you with informed consent. For instance, you might
find out how kinky someone is, or polyamorous, or into
drugs, or religion, or guns, or scuba diving, or opera, or
if they're transgendered. That includes some of the same
people you see on Match where you would have no idea about
these things. Match folks as a whole can be pretty square,
but if you really poke around, there are some interesting
gems to be found.
JDate, Chemistry, and eHarmony draw a fairly conservative
crowd in terms of lifestyle and taste. A friend who loves
nerdy men found lots of people she liked on Chemistry, and
now has a wonderfully nerdy boyfriend. I tried it for an
afternoon and left. Plenty of Fish (free) has tons of
people, but on average, a less professional crowd. Tinder is
awful, in my opinion. You click on someone's face and within
seconds they're texting you for a date. (Yikes!) Same people
you'd find on OkCupid, only without any info about them.
I wish I'd hired someone at the get-go to help write my
profile. I think mine was pretty off-putting at first. But
once I figured that out and did some digging around on the
internet, I found various tips that helped me with a
re-write, and I'm pretty satisfied with it now. I actually
like to write, so once I had some pointers, I was able to
write in my own voice, which I prefer if possible. One key
is brevity, however, which as you can tell is not my strong
Results so far - I've turned down about 80 people, not
including spam. (I'm early 50's.) Met with 15 or so men.
Thumbs up on two, whom I dated. One found someone he liked
better after we met a bunch of times and had seemingly
started getting into a groove. One never went very deep and
that faded out. Then I met a third in real life (who kept a
profile on Match it turned out) who, once we got close, also
found someone he liked better. I liken it to dating in
quicksand. This is why a friend of mine calls it OkStupid.
(sigh) I'm getting burned out on it now and am trying to
get out into the real world more to meet people in the flesh
since I'm finding it so hard to know how to even pick people
based on thumbnails and a few mediocre lines. But I think
it's still a good idea to maintain a profile.
It takes enthusiasm and a thick skin. People do find quality
partners, so it's better to try than to not. And to try to
keep it light and fun as much as possible, and seek out
others in the same boat to commiserate with! Best of luck to
Never Too Late to Date
I'm in my late 40s and have been online dating for about 6
months. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now
(recently divorced and have young kids so I don't want to
take that on). I've been meeting a lot of interesting men on
OKCupid. I briefly tried Match.com and didn't like their
user interface or the matches. OKCupid has more structure to
their profile, and has hundreds of questions you can answer
that help to give you a better idea if a guy will be a good
match for you. There are definitely lots of mature, educated
I did have help with my profile, and I'm so happy I did. I
used Julie, the Matchmaking Maven
(http://www.matchmakingmaven.com/). I consistently get
messages from men who tell me that my profile is
'refreshing'. I credit that largely to Julie's advice and
editing. Even more important than the profile help was
Julie's dating coaching. She helped me understand some of
the typical behaviors of online dating (that can be
maddening to a newbie) and she read some messages that I had
sent that didn't get responses and gave me good suggestions
on how to craft a great opening message. a dater
I'm 48 and have been using OKCupid. I found that I am
really not a 'match' person. I really like the questions
that they have and that they provide a different way to get
to know people. I felt like I got a lot of attention when I
first joined and then again when I changed my location to
Mountain View (I work there). I'm not sure for your post if
it's nots working for you or if you don't like the people
you're meeting but I thought I would share that. I did also
stumble across a website called andthatswhyyouresingle which
offers advice but you can also get the woman to review your
profile or even write it for you. I hadn't realized that
kind of service was available but it makes sense. I'll be
interested to hear other responses--glad you posted!! Best
I posted previously asking for recommendations on dating but
I have another question: I'd like to get a few good photos
done by a professional. Keeping in mind what the purpose is,
does anyone have any recommendations? Thank you! T.
I am a 60 y/o male also single too long and not eager to do
the bar trolling so got into online dating on several sites.
I have limited my contacts to only those that seem really
likely to Match up well and that has netted a few possibles
over 5 years time. I don't know if there is much alternative
for us other than the usual venues for meeting folks and
online provides huge exposure unmatched by any other means.
As for the professional photo I can tell you I have been
severely disappointed to spend time emailing prospective
dates and then some phone time only to finally meet somebody
that doesn't really resemble the high school prom photo they
had Photoshopped to put online and they are 10-20 lbs.
heavier and many years older than they pretended. I don't
know what they were thinking--that the truth wouldn't come
out someday? The best advise I got from a woman I met online
was to never put your best photo up on your profile because
it guarantees disappointment when you finally meet somebody.
Just be real and put some O.K. photos up so prospective
mates will be delighted to meet you and find you look even
better than your photos. I am more impressed to see a photo
of a woman doing yard-work in old jeans and a flannel shirt
than the evening gown shots with big sunglasses and poodle
in arms. Natural pictures of real life is attractive to me
not studio photos. Besides, you said you are cute anyway
right? No need for enhancement. I am interested in what
somebody looks like when they wake up with no make up. Hope
that helps. Mommasboy in Berkeley
Hello, I don't know of a good photographer for dating
profile photos but I recently learned that many
photographers often don't do photo edits or touching up of
the photos they take.
So this is for once you get the photos taken. I recently
used a new business in Oakland, website based, that
specializes in editing website photos. They edited my
twitter page and professional web listing headshot and made
some great improvements like taking the shadows out from
under my eyes, whitening my teeth and the whites of my eyes,
taking out a few wrinkles, smoothing my skin out. I still
look like me in the photo but just a little better version
of me, they were subtle changes that make me feel better
about the photos. Under $30 for each photo so it was
pretty cheap. And I liked that it was free to try it, so I
got to review what changes they made in a draft. I liked
the edits they made so I ended up buying it and they then
sent me the edited version. The name of the business is:
http://www.fototouchup.com Hope that is helpful! Lisa L.
Shoey Sindel is a great photographer! She does photos for
online dating purpose as well. I love her work. Her studio
is on Solano Ave. Call (510) 917-0659 or
firstname.lastname@example.org. Happy client
I've been divorced for several years and am in my mid-40s. I have a limited income,
no family and few friends in the area, and I am parenting a young child. I work
from home. In spite of the fact that my first marriage was clearly far from
successful, I would love to try again at that whole long-term relationship thing.
My question - how ever will I meet someone? There are no single co-workers, or
siblings offering childcare while I hang out at the local bar (not that I would want
that, anyway), or friends organizing blind dates in my life. Maybe that is just the
stuff of movies anyway! I've never tried on-line dating, but am realizing, given my
circumstances, that it's probably the way to go. Are there pros and cons to the
various sites? Are there reasons to try one site vrs another? How does one go
about this? Seems like there are so many options, and there must be some sort of
way to decide which site is the one you want to use, right?? Anyone out there have
any stories they are willing to share? I could sure use some pointers. Thanks!
trying to regain the life I want
I would encourage you to check out Meetup groups...there are many
groups for single parents...these are not ''dating'' groups per se,
however, members do end up dating and, in the group wherein I have
been most active, many long-term relationships and even a few
marriages have resulted! The group I belong to is Bay Area Single
Parents...they have events throughout the Bay Area but are most active
in the South Bay...I know there are other active groups in the East
Bay as well.
Dating Single Mamma
I know 4 couples who have all gotten married within the last 5 years,
and are very happy together. Two of them just had babies. Match.com
was the website from which they all met. I don't have any personal
experience with it, since my husband and I have been married before
online dating came about, but it just seems like that's what everyone
does these days! Good luck, and have fun!
My oldest is 30 and all of his friends and cousins the same age use
match.com (or similar sites). These kids are now in the workforce,
most of their friends are paired up, and they really do not have many
opportunities to meet other young people. I think it is a great way
to find someone who is more likely to be compatible than relying on
happenstance. My son has a wonderful GF right now that he found on
match.com and my nephew's fiance recently told me she was so grateful
to match.com because she never would have found my nephew otherwise.
Give it a try!
I was in your situation several years ago. I joined Match Com, and met
my wonderful boyfriend after a dozen dates. You can very easily find
advice about online dating, online. However, if you pay attention to
your gut and avoid obviously negative or sex-crazed guys, this is the
best approach. Good Luck !
Happy Match Com Graduate
I am a woman in my 50's. I divorced over 10 years ago and was
successful with on-line dating. I tried many sites including ones that
were free and ones that you paid for. I had the most luck with people
I ended up dating long term on the free sites: Hot or Not (Believe it
or not. I put my photo up as a joke in competition with a friend.) and
Plenty of Fish. Not successful at all on eHarmony. I screened
carefully. 1st meeting was after quite a bit of emailing and we met
midday at a Starbuck's. Both of the long term relationships developed
from my reaching out to a person whose picture and write-up I liked. I
found my ''type'' had changed since younger dating days. Having a good
job was a key quality and being kind. Watch out for freeloaders or
people that want too much too quickly. Best of luck to you.
on line dating worked!
I've also single-parented while running a home business and it can be
very isolating. I think online dating seems like a good match for you
and others will probably give you their experiences. But I wanted to
reach out and encourage you to nurture all of your social self and try
to make more friends in the area, either at your child's school, or
via your work connections. It can take some effort, but it's worth it.
Meet people around lunch time. I've had a lot of fun having lunch or
coffee with clients or colleagues I generally only speak to by phone
I used to be very socially isolated and through effort and interest
now have a really happy, fulfilling social life that includes people
with and without children, from various parts of my professional or
I have also been in long-term relationships with bad partners where my
general social isolation kept me from getting perspective or feeling
like I had options to get out. I hate seeing others in that situation,
so here I am, encouraging you to make friends!
sorry about the unsolicited advice
I met some really wonderful men online and actually married one of
them (still happily married 11 years later). I can't really advise on
which dating site to use since I'm over a decade out of it, (match,
okcupid, eHarmony?) But I did always meet the guy at a very public
place for at least the first date, and these days you can Google
someone to make sure he isn't lying to you about some basic things--so
many people are on LinkedIn. There are married men on there
pretending to be single, so be careful of that (Sadly, I know one of
those men). I also have a friend who recently started online dating,
she has a very limited budget, and she never knows if the guy, who
books an expensive restaurant for dinner, is going to pay or not. So
if that's a concern, just meet for coffee or a drink. Also, it's a
drag eating a full dinner with someone you just met and instantly know
he's not someone you want to spend ANY time with. I'm sure you know
all this. Mostly I just wanted to say congratulations for entering
the fun world of online dating. You'll have a great time and meet
interesting people you otherwise wouldn't have met. Good luck!
I'm a divorced mom of two and I couldn't stomach the dating sites (or
bars, etc). I joined MeetUp.com, where they have lots of single parent
groups, just to make friends with others in my situation. I was open
to the possibility of meeting someone to date but I didn't treat it as
my main objective. Well, I ended up meeting a wonderful divorced dad
and the rest is history. I also made friends with some awesome single
mamas. It was a win/win. You should give it a try!
Meetup worked for me
I am glad you are gathering info before diving in. I was divorced at
35, first generation immigrant, with no family or friends to set me
up. When I got tired of being alone, decided to try the
''traditional'' venues to ''meet nice men'' (thanks Mom!). Church,
social gatherings, classes/meet-up.com... Most guys I met were
married, some desperate to have an affair. Others in my age range
35-40 were looking for hot 25 year old girls - no intention of hanging
out with an ''older'' woman. Some ready to marry a woman with no
priors (no kid, no ex-husband, no foreign accent).
Three years ago I decided to try online dating. Sum of lessons
learned, some involved shedding some tears:
1. Choose only one site, preferably one with no hidden costs. Why pay
when there are plenty of free sites? I never met a guy who was
relationship material at no-pay sites. I am sure there are plenty of
good people out there, but... I do not smoke or use drugs, have no
time to hang out for hours at bars, and I do not make out in cars with
guys I just met. Enough said.
2. Paid sites (match.com, eharmony, faith-based sites etc) have
built-in displays/categories that provide some good parameters (free
trial periods, too). Decide what to share about yourself- no need for
full disclosure, but do talk about the important stuff with integrity
(as you would expect from your date, right?): lifestyle, favorite
outings etc. Stuff that I choose not to share online, but used for
decision-making: how far I want to drive for a date, amount of $$$
spent on wardrobe, hair, coffee vs. dinner (most guys will not pay for
your food) etc.
3. When you meet someone you really like, decide how fast you are
letting him ''in''. Do not introduce him to your child until you are
absolutely sure - if one can ever be??? I fell in love ONCE during
those six years, and I got really hurt. After months of dating,
cooking together, weekends spent at each other's houses, celebrating
Christmas together, attending family events- he dumped me via a text.
Apparently he 'freaked' out. Good things did come out of it: I ended
up doing (more) therapy, learned to better take care of myself and
continued to focus on my daughter's well being. She comes first.
Take care of yourself. I cannot tell you how crucial this is. Eat as
well as you can. Feed your heart and soul. Have fun THAT DOES NOT
INVOLVE DATING. Have girlfriend time to share about the crazy, scary,
wild experience of dating in the digital era. Treat this new adventure
gently AND lightly- and see where it takes you.
I did find my guy, online, just when I was ready to give up. We
celebrated our first anniversary two weeks ago.
Hope this helps. Happy to share more over coffee if interested.
Sending you ''date-well'' wishes.
Hey there -- I'm in my 40's too, divorced, with a kid in school. I
only have every other weekend without him, and I also have no family
here. And I also work at home. So I'm in basically the same
position. I've been out in the dating world for a few years now.
Although I don't really like it, online dating is the way to go now.
Even young people who don't have the same responsibilities and can go
out whenever use online dating. So don't be afraid of any stigma
about that. It's how it is now.
That said, the sites I have tried are OKcupid, Plenty of Fish,
Match.com, and eHarmony. The first two are free. I like OKcupid the
best because you can usually get more info about someone there, and
it's free. My suggestion is to try one or two out, maybe the free
ones, and get a feel for it. After awhile it seems like you've seen
everyone, so it can be good to hop around sites. I haven't had much
luck anywhere, though I did have a promising coffee date recently with
a second date planned. Whatever site you use, you probably know the
rules: ALWAYS meet in a public place until you feel comfortable with
the person. I mostly do coffee dates during the work week while my
son is at school. Make it short with an escape plan. Try not to
spend too much time e-mailing with someone before you meet them. That
inevitably just sets you up for disappointment. Meet as soon as you
can to see if there is chemistry, then take it from there. Take it
all with a grain of salt, don't take it personally when men don't
reply (most don't), and be patient. And safe. I made a really good
male friend through OKcupid too, even though we didn't end up dating.
My other suggestion, especially since you mentioned you don't have
many friends, is to join some meetup groups. I am in a group for
single parents, and I've met many nice people there. Some people hook
up within the group (no luck for me there yet either), but that isn't
my main goal there. The group does things with and without the kids,
so it's a nice mix. Good for the kids to meet other kids too, and the
parents can hang out and be social. I don't live in the Bay Area
anymore so I don't know what meetup groups are there, but check it
out. It's a great way to meet people with similar interests. I'd say
that at least 95% of my friends here are from meetup groups.
So go out and have fun, be safe, and regain your life. You'll be
happier just meeting new people. I'm much more social now than when I
Okay, you have convinced me to try online dating as a 50+ divorced woman...now, which one
do people recommend...or do you do all of them? Are they expensive? Does everyone lie
Thanks for the nudge into this new and scary world.
Tired of Being Alone
I'm a 64 year old woman who's done quite a bit of online dating, and most recently I'm
enjoying using okcupid.com, which is free. I like the way their profile is structured and feel
that I can get a good sense of people before I decide whether or not to contact them. Haven't
found my true love yet, but I've had nice dates and a couple of briefish relationships. C.
Try OK Cupid. It's free and there are LOTS of people using the site so you get a pretty big
dating pool to wade through. No, everyone doesn't lie about their age, but men seem to lie
about their height on a regular basis, like adjust down 1 - 2 inches. I've met lots of really
nice men for wine or coffee, the only thing I have found really odd, is that all the men
expect the women to make the intitial approach, even so far as saying so in their profiles.
Weird. Anyway, it's fun, easy and free.
been there, doing that
Do Match and OKCupid at the same time.
They are free.
Absolutely do not lie about your age. Tell the truth in words and photos (photo should be
within the last six months).
You want someone who wants YOU, not someone who looks or sounds younger than you.
Good Luck and have fun!!
Met my Husband on Match at 50
I have lots of experience in this arena. If you were my friend (maybe you are?) I would guide
you through the process because you do indeed need to be cautious and go into it with eyes
The best site out there for those looking for a real relationship is Chemistry.com.
The reason is that everyone who signs up has to complete a very long series of questions. It
takes time, thought and effort. I think that weeds out a lot of men who just want to troll
the internet or meet for casual sex. Also-the photos are not seen at first-you are matched up
by personality traits.
You do see the photo as time goes on but not right away which I liked.
Regarding lying about one's age. Well-some people probably do. I would never pay attention to
men who were 60 but would put their age preference as 30-45. Lame! You can weed out a lot of
people just by paying good attention to their profiles (if someone spelled more than one word
wrong or had bad grammar or put that their ex wife has full custody of their kids I would move
Avoid sites like ''Ok Cupid'' or ''craigs list personals'' as the free sites tend to attract
weirdos and those that just want sex.
When you finally meet-do so in the day at a coffee shop or well populated area. If you have a
good friend, I would have him or her help you weed through the profiles and give a good gut
check until you have the hang of it.
Good luck-it is REALLY fun (but also a bit exhausting!)
former on line dater
I went on Match when I was 49 (several years ago), and met my boyfriend within three months.
You should get a good picture (head shot) of yourself. Don't bother with glamor shots unless
you actually always wear makeup and fancy jewelry. Don't lie about your age or weight, but be
aware that almost all men on Match add 2 inches to their height. (Including guys who are
otherwise honest and self-confident- it's just the case). Please be very honest about whether
you want to be a step-parent or remarry at all, and expect guys older than your oldest stated
age limit to contact you.
You will probably meet a number of men before you find someone you really take to. However, I
believe that Match works- at least, it has for me.
Good Luck !
I would go for Match rather than It's Just Lunch. The latter service accepted my ex-husband's
application- in an in-person interview- while he was still married to and living with me and
our children. It cost $1500+ yet obviously provides no guarantee that the people you meet are
actually single people. The online services don't promise you anything but don't cost very
Yes, this really happened.
I have a sister who I think is is great catch. She's an emergency physician,
super-fit (loves cycling & trail running), really smart, and amicably divorced. All
of the men in her social circles are married and she doesn't want to try online
dating because she feels most of the guys around her age (she is 44) are only
interested in younger women. Does anyone have a recommendation for her?
My sister's matchmaker
When I first started online dating, I also observed that a lot of the guys were looking
for younger women. I threw my hands up, and wrote to one of those guys. He is now my
husband. (On our first date he pondered ''I wonder why you never came up in my
searches.'' I quickly reminded him that according to his criteria I am an old lady.)
Remind her that like everything else, its an odds game. Can't hurt to be ''out there.''
- Happy old lady to a younger man
5 years ago, I went on-line in my early 40s, and I found the love of my life. It's
definitely possible for your sister to have success, too. I spent quite a few years
dreading the world of on-line dating, and I finally decided that I would approach the
project with curiosity and a good attitude. I had friends help write my profile, and I
gave myself regular pep talks, so I wouldn't get discouraged. I ended up having fun, and I
learned a lot about myself. That said, your sister might not be ready. You probably can't
convince her that it's a good idea. She has to believe it herself.
I met my boyfriend (of three years) through Match, after only three months online. Match
contains the entire range of people- it is the Macy's of online dating. If you are looking
for trouble, you can find it, but you can also find stable, smart, professional men. Your
sister should post online, following common sense and basic advice such as avoiding sexy
pictures, guys who lie about their age, those who only want a much younger woman, and
those who discuss sex or want a 'casual relationship'. A lot of very eligible men would be
interested in a woman who has the good health, intelligence and strength of character to
be an emergency room physician.
They didn't pay me to say this.
12 years ago, in my mid-40's, I started online dating. (It was, back then, a bit shocking
to most people, while now -- for good reasons -- it is pretty standard.) The good
reasons? It's fun, safe, easy and rewarding. I am a nurse practitioner raising two kids.
I wanted to date but not have a partner. (Admittedly, I eventually ended up with a
partner.) I was very selective about the men I chose to contact or continue emailing
with. I was even much more selective about with whom I met (only after lots of emailing
back and forth). And so the few men I met -- I liked them all. Three never went past two
dates because they weren't interesting enough to me. Three others I dated consecutively
for about two years. I never let them become serious. (Though that was MY goal, not
necessarily someone else's.) I had SUCH FUN! And it was so much less random and rare
than meeting strangers or friends of friends. I never had one regret about online
I highly recommend online dating.
I am getting really frustrated with the online dating scene. I
am 39 with a 3 year old son. The only reason I would like to
hurry up and meet someone is that I would love to have another
child (with a partner; it wouldn't be fair to my existing son
to do it on my own - it really is a 2 person job, especially
with 2 kids and I am not wealthy enough to hire help). I
recently took an over the counter FSH which indicates that I
can still get pregnant naturally, with my own eggs. If I
didn't want another kid, I would just give up on dating for now
and focus solely on raising my child and wait until I meet
someone through normal channels b/c online dating just seems to
lead nowhere. I imagine that once my son starts elementary
school, I might meet a teacher or coach or other divorced
parent with whom to have a fulfilling partnership. However, by
then I'll be 45 and for me, that's too late.
I am a typical liberal, professional BPN parent. Though I am
almost 40, I look pretty young and am very fit. I am getting
contacted primarily by either really old guys or really young
guys (like 29). While its flattering that such young guys find
me attractive, they are not ready to get married and have a
kid. They just want to get laid. I am not against a guy in
his early 50's, as long as he wants kids. Also, I need a guy I
can stomach the thought of having sex with. I do not mind
baldness or grey hair, but I want someone who is not
overweight, has a discernible jaw line, and does not look like
an aging rock star or a serial killer - is that too much to
ask? Where are the guys who look like the married dads at my
son's preschool but are not married? I want an available man,
preferably in his 40s, who looks reasonably normal. If half
the population gets divorced, where are all the single dads in
my cohort? There are no single dads at my school (Model
School, in Berkeley). Any advice about where I could find
suitable men would be most appreciated. I know a lot of people
lie about their age online, but I'm not comfortable doing
I did some of the on-line dating thing just after my divorce, and
my impression, if you'll allow me to use a trivial comparison,
was that it was something like shopping at Ross (or Half-Price
Books, or any other place where they have racks and racks of
stuff that other people did not actually want to buy but might
suit you in a pinch). Occasionally you might make a find.
Usually you get lots of stuff you don't really need. And it is
NOT the place where you can go in with a list of qualities that
you must have (''blue print in size eight in a mid-length style
with a belt'') and actually find it. No. In your description of
what you want in a man, you are looking for something very
specific, and you want something rather rare -- a guy in your age
category (or a little older, 'cause let's be realistic) who wants
(more) kids. Such guys do not, let us say, grow on trees, and
they don't show up on internet dating sites much, as you have
found. The thing is, you don't seem to really want the guy. You
seem to want (ahem) his procreative matter. And his willingness
to go along with your ''hurry up let's have us a kid'' plan.
I think you have the cart before the horse here -- first find a
guy who is great and adores you (mine happens to have a bit of a
paunch but a heart the size of that state in the southwest many
of us don't like and a really deep mind and a sweet, sweet
nature) AND who adores your first kid, and then maybe think of
whether you might be able to have another. The guy should come
first, otherwise I predict an unhappy end to this plan.
and good luck! You can meet the right guy -- and maybe he'll
happy with my paunchy new partner
You sound pretty cut-and-dried about what you have in mind. You
can make an arrangement. There are always foreign citizens
looking to marry an American for citizenship. But I doubt
there's a contract you could enforce for good fatherhood.
I've been married 21 years. Marriage can be joyful and
difficult. Marrying someone in a hurry so you can get pregnant
and have help raising a kid--I don't think the odds are good that
you'll find someone who meets your laundry list of criteria,
since everyone else is looking for the same thing. Except that
you're not even looking for love--based on your description, you
don't want to be married, you just want child-rearing help and
are willing to pay with sex. Generally the guys who would ''get''
this arrangement will not stick around more than a year or two.
Then you're looking at lawyers, court costs, custody arguments.
and trying to get support payments. Do you know the statistics
on child support? Between dead-beat dads and dead-broke dads,
you may find you're not getting what you were bargaining for.
I don't mean to be discouraging--you have a dream of another
child, that is lovely. But I think your current plan will create
more problems that it will solve. Perhaps you need to find a
prospective single father, looking to adopt, who could co-adopt
with you. I have heard of adoption arrangements where two
couples adopted a child.
-I Hear Warning Bells!
Not only do you want something well beyond what most people do
(speed dating with the intention of marriage and producing a
child before the eggs expire), you're incredibly picky. I
understand the picky part. I am too, but I make peace with being
alone and I might not even get to have one kid. You're asking for
way too much. I know the biological ticking is tough to grapple
with, but I really really think it's crazy to expect a sane, good
man to want to meet someone, marry quickly and pop out a child.
That's just not how it works. You would hopefully figure this out
on your own anyway, after your ridiculous demands are unmet and
you lose your fertility. I am sorry to be so blunt. It's not that
I wish to hurt you, but you're frustrated because you're living
in a delusion. I want to show you reality.
I think you need to take an honest assessment of yourself and
life. How will you cope if you don't have another child? If a 2nd
child is the be-all, end-all, how many variables can you be
flexible on? Life is not a fairy tale. Many men are slightly
froggish, and not at all dashing or charming.
Since you're rather superficial, I'll hit you with some truth
there, too: to create a long-lasting relationship, the woman has
to be better looking than the man. So don't expect to get someone
''on your level''. That was the thing you aimed for in your
youthful dalliances, but none of those last, obviously. Now is
the time to look for a true partner and leave those childish
things behind. And, lucky you that you didn't age, but that's
just not what the rest of us experience. Take it down a few
notches and be more accepting. Aim for someone who has a good
heart, actively wants to be a father, and then learn to love the
man for the whole package of who he is, and not be hung up on looks.
You aren't interested in a relationship. You are interested in
another child. You couldn't have been more clear in your post,
and I imagine that you signal your intentions pretty clearly to
your perspective dates as well.
Imagine that you go out for a first date with a 39 year old woman
who sends out the following signal: ''I am not interested in you.
I am really only interested in having another child before it is
too late.'' Would you go out on another date with that person?
You said it yourself in your post: you aren't wealthy enough to
have 2 children of your own and you can't afford to hire help. So
you are basically looking for someone to sign up to help you out
for free because you aren't really offering love, affection, or
even interest in that person. I hate to say it, but the only
place you are going to find what you are looking for is the sperm
Good luck with that.
I met my husband doing online dating, and my only tip is this; be
proactive and look at the men's postings to see who YOU want to
meet, instead of waiting for men to write to you. It's true that
a LOT of the men are looking for a hook-up, but you will be able
to tell quickly by reading their profiles what they are up to.
And if you do the approaching, you have a bit more control.
Don't give up hope; there are a lot of fish in the sea!
You are pretty frank about what you are looking for in a man:
working sperm, parenting/financial assistance, and decent looks.
Nothing about personality, interests, compatibility, etc. I guess
your best bet is to post an ad that very candidly states that you
are looking for someone whose number one priority is (like yours)
finding someone with whom to have a child. At least that would
narrow the pool to the correct candidates.
I did a lot of online dating before meeting my husband four
years ago. At the time, I was 42, young-looking, fit, etc., as
you are. Finding someone who wanted to have a child was part of
my criteria, as well. My husband wanted another child, too. He
was also in his early-50s, without a strong jawline, and was
overweight. I fell in love with him because he was the
smartest, funniest, kindest, most loving and interesting man I'd
ever met. Our daughter is now sixteen months old.
My husband was not the person I thought I was looking for, but
boy am I grateful that I looked outside of the box. I'm
suggesting that perhaps you do, too.
I just saw the first responses to your post, and can't help throwing in my 2 cents
given how negative it all sounded. I met my husband through an online dating
service, and I think in general it's like any other way of meeting people. I was 40
when I started, and just out of a bad relationship which I had hung on to for too
long in part because I thought it was my last chance to have kids, being that I was
39 and 40 when we were together. I'd tried online dating before and met some
losers, so decided to try a service that does some screening and matches based on
that. In addition, I started seeing a therapist to try to understand some of my bad
choices in the past and hopefully change that pattern. I also felt I had to give up the
idea of having kids because of my age (although I thought adopting later might be
an option), so I focused on meeting someone I could be happy with, including being
open to maybe adopting a child at some point. Long story short, after dating a
couple more guys who pretty much fell into my old pattern, I met my husband. He's
a great guy, good-looking, my age, also divorced and had a child from his prior
marriage. (For what it's worth, most of the guys I met were my age, attractive and
basically regular guys I could be friends with, whether or not there was any
chemistry there). We took our time getting to know each other, and after we'd
decided things were serious, it turns out I got pregnant accidentally (really). We're
now married with a toddler at home, and it's the best relationship I've ever been in.
I think it's hard to have a healthy relationship if you're focused on a deadline no
matter how you meet the person, but I do think you can meet the right person
online (or anywhere else) if you take the time to really look at what will make a good
relationship for you. And who knows, you might also end up having kids.
--It's Not So Bad
I do know a few couples who met & married via online dating. So
if you're considering it, be sensible, don't go out and meet
everybody, but go w/ your gut.
First, don't be discouraged by all the ''negative'' advice you got.
Stick to your criterion. We all have high expectations of our
potential life mates. And then we adjust when we're really in
love with the right guy. However, it's also true that it will
take a while for you to possibly find the right person before
moving on to the next step of having kids. And I hate to say it,
but a lot of single guys may eliminate single moms with kid(s)
because they don't want the baggage!
Secondly, unless you work/live/work out in an environment where
you can meet quality people, where else to turn to to find
someone? Use the technology available to you but be very
cautious! A few of my girlfriends, all professional, well
educated women, have found their men on line.
Good luck! Don't give up!
Dating online? My experience goes back to 1992, when the East
Bay Express classifieds were the equivalent.
Two years earlier, my wife of 10 years had left me for a woman.
I had a good long cry. Here I was with a broken heart, complete
loss of self, and a battered dream of having a family.
It'd been over a decade since I'd been on a date. How do I meet
someone? How do I find someone to date at age 42?
I put a short ad in the East Bay Express classifieds. I was
direct and honest: I offered (and wanted) commitment, family,
clean living, and intellectual interests. I wasn't looking to
get laid nor was I yearning for walks on the beach or candle-lit
dinners. Appearance & fashion didn't mean much, but I did want
clever wit and a slightly bohemian lifestyle.
Probably thirty women replied. Many letters were heart-wrenching
(and, oh, how I identified with them). Several were from distant
friends, one of whom figured out who I was from my ad. A few
were form-letters from prostitutes.
It was surprisingly difficult to pick out the first person to
meet. And while that date wasn't a disaster, it was clear that
neither of us seemed interested in each other. After that, I
more closely read each letter, and better defined what was
important to me.
Well, on my third date, I met the woman who'd become my wife.
She was 39, I was 43. We waited a month before we slept together
... and she moved in with me a few months later. Our first baby
was born soon afterwards; our second baby came along a year after
Both kids are now teenagers and doing well - college bound, no
drugs, and fairly free of angst. I'm utterly in love with my
wife and (knock on wood) she with me. We're both active in the
east bay parenting community and occasionally smile about how we
So this note isn't much about today's world of online dating; but
16 years ago, an ad in the East Bay Express seemed like a weird
way to meet a future spouse.
Best of luck to you!
Former bachelor, now in my 50's
Hello all. I am a working single 39-year-old mom of one boy. I
have been divorced for about four years. I don't have much time
for dating so I have tried to be as efficient as possible at it.
I live in an area where it's really hard to find single, eligible
men so I have resorted to online dating in the past. I have tried
both yahoo and match.com but in general I have seen that most guys
go about the process as if they were doing online shopping. They
have no problem telling you that they are seeing lots of women at
the same time to see who's the best fit. In my opinion that's not
very respectful or even effective. I prefer to meet one guy at a
time and see how it goes and I would like the same attitude from
them. So, basically, my question is: do you know of any online
dating sites that would give me the chance to meet serious,
non-serial daters? I would love to meet a serious, interesting,
decent, financially independent and attractive man for a
relationship. Any non-judgemental recommendations will be appreciated.
Longing for a supportive relationship
Hi there. It is daunting to start dating again. I have two bits
of advice for you. The first is this: tell people you are ready
to meet someone. Tell your friends and your friends' husbands
and ask if they know of any nice, single men. You might get set
up on some nice dates, and at least they come recommended.
Secondly; I recommend Chemistry.com for on line dating. I
believe it is related to match.com but is much more in depth
with the questions and ''profiles.'' One of my good friends met
her boyfriend through this site and actually met several nice
men through the site as well. She recommended I try it and I met
a great guy! There are good people out there. Be choosey. Be
I'm an African American woman--open to dating any race--and
thinking of trying the eHarmony website. Does anyone have any
experience with this company? I know they are decidedly
Christian and I'm fine with that, but I'm just wondering if
anyone real, i.e. not just the success stories on their website
can toot the horn for them.
I don't know of anyone who has actually used EHarmony but I did
read an article recently where the founder stated that he did not
believe that interracial relationships work in general. I am not
sure if this affects who they match you up with or not.
i only have indirect experience w/eHarmony. My brother met his
wife through them. Neither is Christian nor particularly religious
at all. He had been married once before (disaster!)and every
girlfriend he had previously seemed such a horrible match. He
could not be trusted to find his own mate! I cannot believe how
perfectly my brother and his new wife seem to balance each other.
I was shocked at the lengths they went to through eHarmony
(expense, questionnaire process, etc) but I cannot deny that they
seem made for each other and certainly made me believe there is
something to all the hype.
Well, my little sister's getting married this summer and she met
the man on eHarmony. She has dated him for 18 months and is amazed
at how well they get along. She credits the eHarmony system with
finding such a good match for her. I don't think she would have
met him otherwise. They are both divorced with kids. She's in
Austin TX so here in the Bay Area YMMV, but I generally think
internet dating is great. (The internet is where I met my awesome
husband way back in 1998, the early days of match.com.)
Watching friends use match.com lately has shown me that there are
a lot more ''serial daters'' on there now - which is fine, if
you're not looking for a long-term relationship. I was skeptical
about my sis using eHarmony at first because I thought there would
be NO men on there (the whole idea seems very female to me) but
she met a good one! I think the advantage is that eHarmony is a
little more LTR oriented. The guy really has to do some work to
get his profile going, so he's probably not there just to get
Hope this helps!
My sister in Texas has been using eHarmony for about a year. She
chose it because she is active in her church and was looking for
someone who is also religious. She has gone on several dates since
joining but she told me that she doesn't feel that the guys were
very compatible with her, which was irksome considering that she
filled out "29 pages of information" about herself. She also said
that she had a problem with receiving referrals for guys who live
much too far away. She had specified a 60-mile radius (she lives
near Austin) but has been hearing from people who live in New York
and Chicago. She said she complained about this and was told it
is just a bug in the software.
My former coworker went on Eharmony and is now getting married to a guy
she met there. At the time she was 45, never married, no kids and had
been single for YEARS. I don't know how long it took to meet him -- how
many losers or just OK guys she went through first! -- but it ended up a
very happy story. I tease her that they should be on one of the
One thing that is wierd is that she is a rabid Democrat and he is a rabid
Republican. They do an extensive questionnaire before matching people, so
not quite sure how that match made it through the filtering system! And
I'm not sure how they reconcile those beliefs, especially in an election
season. But they have been together for two years now and I'm going to
the wedding in August.
Happy for her
I'm looking for a recommendation on the best way to meet a man
between 50 and 60. I'm 54 with a 9 year old daughter who I have
half time. I've tried Match.com without success. Are there
places singles of this age group hang out? Anyone out there have
a nice single male friend they'd like to fix me up with?
Desparately seeking a mate
Sorry Match didn't work out for you, I met my husband through
Match! If you enjoy hiking, you might try Sierra Singles. Most
of the men in the group are in the 50 plus range. Try several
events before giving up. Good luck!
I met my partner through matchmaker.com. I also tried match and liked
matchmaker better. We've been happily together for more than 4 years.
I am thinking of signing up for Table for Six. Does anyone have
any experience with this that they can share? Thank you!
I joined Table For Six in another city. I was actually writing
about my experience for a newspaper article but I was single at
the time and open to meeting someone.
Generally I found it a pleasant experience. I tended to have a
lot more in common with the other two women in my group than the
three prospective dates. Mostly I enjoyed myself, had good
conversations and did not feel vulnerable or threatened (it helps
that everyone is in the same vulnerable situation).
However, I think if I had been more serious about finding a
dating partner I would have been disappointed. At the time I was
31, and most of the guys were over 40 -- many of them divorced
with teen kids. I felt I had little in common with them. One of
the organizers confided in me that there were too many women on
their books who were over 40, and too few men willing to date
this age group. I think this is a universal problem in the world
of lonely hearts.
I tried Table for Six four years ago. I thought it was a great
idea at the time, but due to the illness of a family member
and changing jobs, I wasn't able to go to as many dinners as I
wish I could have. The dinners that I did go to were kind of a
mixed experience for me. I'm on the shy side, so making
conversation with five people I didn't know was difficult for
me, but I wanted to make an effort. Most of the restaurants
were nice, and most of the people were nice and/or
interesting. When I joined I was given the impression that
some effort went in to matching people, but at some dinners, I
wondered how I ended up with the group that I did. Also, with
one exception, I was always the only single parent in the
group. I ended up dating the one man who also was a single
parent for a couple of months.
Table for Six seemed expensive at the time, but I wasn't
meeting anyone at work, or in the grocery store, etc., so I did
the math and realized that if I went to one dinner a week, I
could meet 156 men in a year. Of course I didn't end up going
to one dinner a week.
I don't know how much they charge now, but you should be sure
that you have the time and inclination to go to a reasonable
number of dinners in order to make the cost worthwhile. It's
likely that there is a significantly larger pool of people than
when I was a member, so the odds may be better for you than they
were for me.
I used Tables for Six for about 3 months and am now in a long
term relationship (but didn't meet him there). A plus is that
they will freeze your membership for however long, while you are
in a relationship. I liked their Adventures the best and met the
people most like me there...whitewater rafting, whalewatching,
hiking, etc. Another positive was that you knew everyone there
was single and looking, whereas, just going on a Sierra Club
trip or some such, you wouldn't know that. I met a couple nice
guys and went out with one once. I found the women were
generally much more ''successful'' especially socially and enjoyed
talking with them more than the guys. The dinners seemed
expensive and I heard from a guy who had done a bunch of
the ''match up'' type dinners that the women were no where near
what he had requested. Good Luck! I was introduced to my guy by
a mutual friend who had known both of us for years. Had she done
it a few months earlier, I could have saved $3000!
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