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Care taker for elderly mother-in-law

Jan 2011

I need someone to take care of my elderly mother in-law. She is on a wheelchair, her husband will have surgery and she can't stay alone. I would like someone with good references, patience and very caring. A.


I recommend a wonderful board and care in castro Valley where my father was a client for over one year. Fairbanks Home Care ran by George and Dina Driga is one of the cleanest, delicous food and friendliest board and care I know. It is reasonable and provides excellent care. It is located in Castro valley and has private or shared rooms. I am a RN and very particular about the care patients receive and highly recommend this place. Call 510-909-0188 cl

Editor: also recommended: In-home care services


Seeking a reasonable place for aunt with dementia

Oct 2008

My close friend's aged aunt (92) is in fairly good health for her age, but suffering from dementia. She is currently in a low-quality nursing home in Oakland which just raised its fees to over $6,000 a month. Even before the increase in fees I'd been helping my friend try to find another place for her Auntie, as it's really an unpleasant place that's gone downhill over the time she's been there. There is minimal attention paid to patients by the staff, pervasive smells, ratty furnishings, nowhere for visitors to sit with their loved ones. It's next to the freeway, and there's no outdoor space or garden. The only plus is that there are alarms on the doors, and once her Auntie runs out of funds it does take Medi-cal.

We've been looking for months and we're not finding anything for a reasonable price which isn't equally depressing. We're looking in both the East and North Bay, as Auntie has a niece in Berkeley and a nephew in Santa Rosa. Maybe what we are seeking is impossible - loving care at a clean, pleasant place for under $5,000 a month which will take Medi-cal when funds run out. I've known this dear old lady for many years and just can't bear seeing her in this place. Does anyone know of a kind, dignified place with current openings?


I know just the place for you! There is a place that is affordable, converts to Medical, and has no nasty smells and many advantages. The one disadvantage is that it is in Sebastapol, an hour and a quarter's drive from Berkeley. But the benefits are numerous. My mother-in-law is there, and is very happy. All the residents suffer dementia, and are treated with great love and dignity. The house is a private home, converted to meet State of California standards for dementia as well as end-of-life care and hospice. The residents are beautifully cared for by a medically trained staff who have time to spend visiting with them as well as to look after their needs. There is a maximum of six residents there at any time. There are beautiful gardens and the place is graciously furnished. AND it is only $2500 a month and converts to Medi-cal. It is an unbelievably good deal but true - we are so relieved to have found Ethel, her staff and the delightful home, as we searched for so long. Call Ethel (707) 823-7277‎/(707)3966735 Philippa
Once you are talking ''nursing home'', the costs are exhorbitant. If your friend's aunt is not so physically debilitated that she must be in a ''nursing home'', the assisted living format with a memory unit is a better option. That said, those are very expensive too but more in line with the dementia person's needs. Another less costly option is a board and care which are single-family homes licensed to care for about 6 people or possibly more depending on the size and license. Those places vary in quality so I would suggest that your friends contact an agency to assist her. I have used Eldercare Services, based in Walnut Creek, for a variety of needs as they relate to caring for an elderly relative and would highly recommend them. 925-937-2018, www.eldercareanswers.com. They cover most of the Bay Area. Martha
My grandmother, who recently ppassed away, live at in a small home-based care setting for about 5 years in Pleasant Hill, called Bonnie Lane. It was competant care for her hip-repair rehab, she had dementia which progressed over the yeras she was there, and had hospice care there , died in her own room there in a supported setting. THye had family meals together with other residents (about 8 total). there were some shared rooms, some private rooms, a nice garden, locks on the doors and gates, loving care, the owner is geriatric nursing specialist. I no longer have their contact information. FYI, I don't drive, and did take public transportation to visit granadma -- a pain, but possible.

My mother found this place by working thru the Family Caregiver Alliance - don't have their web address, but they are good.

There is a really good orgainzatin in SF called the On Lok senior services center. Thye may have references for the East Bay/North Bay. https://www.eldercarelink.com


Check out Aegis elder care at www.aeigisliving.com. They have several locations in the Northern California (including Santa Rosa). I am familiar with the Pleasant Hill location which is really nice. The facility is clean, bright, has a wonderful manicured garden in the back and the staff seem truly nice and committed to the residents. They have a low income program but I'm not sure about medi-Cal and or the levels of care (dementia, etc.) they provide. Good luck with your search. I hope Auntie finds a warm, welcoming place. - anon

Assisted Living for disabled non-senior

June 2006

My relative is 56, very ill (not recovering), living alone, not eating, unable to care for herself. She has dwindling resources, but is not quite down to the $2000 in the bank that would make her eligible for SSI; she applied for SSI Disability last month, but that process could take months or years.

I'm seeking recommendations for any nice assisted living community /board-and-care in the East Bay that will a) take in someone near to the end of their finances, b) and then take SSI once it kicks in, and c) take someone who is under 60 but disabled. Would also be interested in a public social worker who assists in making this type of placement.

Specific recommendations (or info on places you hate) would be most appreciated. Thank you! worried relative


That sounds like a very difficult situation for your relative, and it is good of you to make sure she is taken care of. In terms of assisted-living vs. board & cares, board & cares are generally much less expensive, but they provide more individual attention -- definitely a bargain! Placement agencies could help you find some within her budget (or within your budget, if you are able to help her out). I found my dad's place through California Registry 800-777-7575. Other placement agencies that gave me recommendations were Placement Services (800-348-1979) and Jan Oldenburg (925-699-2295). I don't know if any of them deal with non-seniors, but you could call and find out. They were all very helpful to me...and there was no charge for their services.

One other thought: is she by any chance terminally ill? If so, she may qualify for hospice, and that could make a difference in the services you could afford.

I hope you can get her the help she needs. Good luck! anon


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