Senior Living Community for 68 year old MIL

My 68 yr old MIL is moving to the Bay Area soon. She is quite isolated and we think she would benefit from a community of others close in age. She is unemployed and lives on her social security checks without much in the way of savings. She is physically healthy and does not need any sort of assisted care. Any recommendations for housing communities or ideas for her? We thought about Rossmoor in Walnut Creek, but I think they encourage buying a place instead of long-term rentals. She could live in the South Bay, Marin, or East Bay and is open to all of those places. Thank you.

Dog-friendly Senior living facilities in the East Bay

I'm wondering if anyone has experience with Senior Living facilities. We're looking to relocate my mom, who's been living alone, up to the Bay Area, and a wanting to find the best place we can. One of the most important factors is that they accept dogs-she has a beloved Shiba, and there's no way she'll go anywhere where he's not welcome. She's not really the formal, St. Paul's type-more Berkeley-like in her outlook. Any advice? Thanks! P

78 yr old Jewish father looking to retire in N CAL

My father is about to sell his business in Los Angeles and is looking for a retirement community in either Arizona or Northern California. He is fiercely independent and very active. Since we are in Berkeley I am hoping there is something he will like not too far from us. While he gets around, he has had 3 hip replacements and can't go too far too fast. He enjoys golfing, so a golf course is a must wherever he goes. While he is not a practicing Jew other than the high holidays, his Jewishness is important and he would like to be in a community with other Jewish people. Gardening, flowers and landscaping are also loves of his. I would appreciate knowing of any places you are familiar with that might entice him to come and live near us. Thank you, M.

My friends are all Jewish. Not everyone is Jewish at Rossmoor, nor are the Jews necessarily religious, but there are Jews. The JCC is not far and they have some movies and cultural activities. It is not far from BART and your dad could go in to Berkeley or over to SF to museums and such.

Take a look at their website: www.rossmoor.com

They have golf and swimming. Dawn

Independent living now, with assisted living later

My parents who live back east are now in their 80s and hope to move out here to the Bay Area to be near me, their only daughter, and my two children. My dad is in good health, but my mother had a stroke and uses a walker and will need assisted living sometime in the next few years. We would like to find a place where they can buy a home and live independently as long as possible, and then have assisted living there when it becomes necessary.

Ideally, my parents would like a two-bdrm, single-family home but are willing to get a condo. They can spend around $400K. They have been homeowners since 1962, so I'm not sure if they would be willing to rent an apartment, but if the facility is exceptional, perhaps they would consider it? Their residence must be all on one floor without stairs.

On the internet, my dad found places in Santa Rosa and Petaluma, but we would like them to be closer. (We live in central Berkeley.) Driving at night is difficult for my dad, and what happens when he can't drive at all? We'd like for them to be no more than 30 minutes away because at some point we have to do all the driving when we see them. We thought Rossmoor over the hill would be ideal, but it turns out Rossmoor does not offer assisted living.

A little about my parents: they retired in a resort area back east, in a gated community. In their community, everyone must get permission to paint their homes a new color, cut down trees or bushes, etc. They are not allowed to have gardens on their property. I find it sterile, but my parents love it there because everything is neat and clean and no yards are 'unkempt'. They like nice suburbs and dislike Berkeley and most metropolitan areas of California because they're too urban, crowded and dirty. When they travel, they don't like cute little B&Bs. They prefer hotel chains like Marriot because they know what to expect and it will be clean and well-kept. When they used to visit us in Berkeley, they stayed at the DoubleTree hotel in the Berkeley Marina because it is so NOT Berkeley. I would love for them to live close to us in the East Bay but most of the area is too urban and crowded for them. I keep hoping that we could find something for them in the East Bay, but it would have to well-maintained, very clean and bright.

Do you know of any places that offer independent living now with assisted living when it's needed? Or, do you know where I can get a directory of places that I can investigate? Have you been in my situation? Thanks! Andi

There are individual little houses, or they can move into an apartment/condo, or there is actual assisted living. I had an aunt with Alzheimer's in the high care part of facility and it didn't seem as depressing as similar places I'd seen. We also know people who moved into one of the little 2-bedroom houses and they like it. There are bigger gathering rooms they can reserve for parties, there are dining halls for when they don't feel like cooking, and other nice amenities. I think (but am not sure -- might be getting it confused with somewhere else my aunt stayed) that they have shuttles to various places -- like to Sacramento or San Francisco -- so maybe you wouldn't have to do all the driving. At the very least, there is good train service between here and Davis so your parents could take Amtrak. Anon

www.canhr.org
www.gilbertguide.com
www.caregiver.org
www.seniorvisionaryservices
www.exceptionalseniorservices

Low-income senior housing

Hi, I am looking for low-income senior housing for a close family friend. My friend is over 70 and looked for senior housing everywhere in the Bay Area. They didn't take her several years back because the waiting lists were way too long. She went back to work to earn money for rent, and was taken off the waiting lists because she had an income. She is a cancer survivor and works very hard. It is frustrating that in the Bay Area it is hard for low-income seniors to find housing. Please help.

Senior Living in San Ramon or Dublin

Hi, does anyone have recommendations on Senior Living facilities in San Ramon (or Dublin), possibly places that have assisted living help? We are about to start evaluating the various places in San Ramon. If someone has a recommendation or would be willing to share their knowledge of these facilities, we would love that.

Retirement Homes Berkeley Oakland?

I am exploring continuing care retirement homes for my parents who are about 80 and retired academics. I see old recommendations, but not much up to date. We are looking at The Berkshire this week, and would love some first hand commentary on it.

Have not found much else in Berkeley, seems as if we need to go to Oakland to Piedmont Gardens, St Paul's Towers, Cardinal Point, or? Any other possibilities in Berkeley? Greatly appreciate any feedback on the aforementioned or others I should check out. (Contra Costa County will not do for them.) emily

The buy-in is steep--same with any life care place.

The skilled nursing facility is atrocious (not the staff themselves but the staffing numbers and physical amenities including medical equipment), but has recently been cited by the state with a lot of bad publicity and I imagine will improve as a result.

No place is great in all aspects (some much better with skilled nursing but not so with independent living, and vice versa.)

We looked at Saint Paul's a couple of times with him. More formal/class concious (suit jackets to dinner for example), near the lake which is pretty, not near any practical shopping other than Whole Foods.

One nice thing we realized actually worked was that if your folks don't like the place, they can move. (My father in law moved within a year of his Ohio retirement residence start and got a full refund.)

One important thing is having it be close enough for you to get to easily. Location, location. Susan

Parents moving to the East Bay - housing options?

My 70 yo parents are considering moving to the East Bay. My dad is in good health for the most part (is pretty mobile, drives, does his own cooking/cleaning), but my mom has a number of health problems and is increasingly in need of assistance (needs help with ADLs). They currently live independently in their own (2-story) home and want to move to a 1-story home. I'm not sure how long they will be able to live independently. I'd like to get a better sense of the different housing options they have. I've read some (very)old posts about places like Lake Park, St. Paul's Towers, Piedmont Gardens, Claremont House. I'd love to hear from anyone who has more recent experiences with them. I'd also love to hear any thoughts about places that allow for a gradual transition to assisted living - i.e., it would be a pretty big shock for my parents to go from living independently, to assisted living. Any recommendations? local daughter

The apartments are beautiful, 3 meals a day are included and served in the restaurant, weekly houskeeping is provided, there are lots of activities, outings, transportation available, etc. Both the staff and residents are extremely friendly, helpful, and welcoming. And of all the places we looked at, St. P's was one of the few that didn't feel like an ''old people's home'' - it feels and looks like a very nice apartment building.

The apartments range in size from studio to 2 br/2ba with full kitchen and deck. They are light, airy, well built, well laid out. And they apparently have a lot of apartments available right now, which is not usually the case.

St. Pauls definitely isn't cheap, but if you/your parents can afford it, I would say it is by far the best option in the east bay. happy with St. Paul's

Independent living options for 84 year old friend

I am looking for senior housing options for a friend. She is 84 years old, and relatively active, but slowing down. She is currently living in a house but is having trouble keeping up with maintence. I was hoping to find something like an apartment with van serivice and medical staff available. She currently is in okay health, but I would like to find a facility that has an independent living accomodations and more options for more assistance as her needs change. Thanks. Lisa

As you need more care, it is available at no extra cost. So...my mom lived in her studio apartment independantly for 3 years. SHe had a kitchenette in her apartment where she ate breakfast. For lunch and dinner she went downstairs to the main dining room and ate with friends (fairly good food in my opinion).

Then she moved down to another apartment (same) on the assisted living floor where she was for about a year. Now she is in her own room on the skilled nursing floor (my mom is almost 93 and has progressive old age dementia which developed over the last 2 years). She is very well taken care of.

Lake Park is clean, big, lots of activities and the staff there could not be more wonderful.

Your mom can go and visit and stay for 2 days...they will put her up and assign her a buddy, so she can get a feel of what it might be like to live there. My mother was certain she would not like it till she spent 2 days and made friends and found that her life would be busy and happy, as opposed to the very isolated life she was living in her big house that she could no longer take care of in New Hampshire. It was a big move for her but she adjusted well.

There are many other great places too....Piedmont Gardens, Claremont House (across from the Rockridge Shopping Center) St. Paul's Towers (near the lake too) and I'm sure others. I suggest you call these places and go on a tour yourself before bringing your mother. Good luck. If you would like to talk more about Lake Park or how we decided on that vs.others, please e- mail me. Good luck. june

Housing options near Berkeley for my 86 year old mom

My mother currently lives independently in San Francisco. We are eager to have her move to the East Bay, as she is having more challenges driving, memory, etc. We have toured Cardinal Point in Alameda and Piedmont Gardens in Oakland, both very nice. She would do well in an active, social place where she can live independently, but other options as she ages, including possible Assisted Living and Memory/Alzheimer care. Does anyone have any experiences with either place or know of other 'Continuous Care Communities'? We live in Alameda, so want something in the area.

Housing options near Berkeley for my 86 year old mom

I have been looking at senior housing for my 86 year old mom. She is in pretty good shape, but 86...not ready for assisted living, but needs more socializing and transportation. She currently lives in Rossmoor. I have looked at Chateau III in Pleasant Hill, Claremont Gardens, Lake Park, Piedmont Gardens, Strawberry Creek (too hip) the Berkshires, (too fragile). I live in West Berkeley and would like her to be within 15 or 20 minutes, but will compromise if the place is great. I would love to hear from someone with some current first hand experience at any of these places. I am glazing over. They all seem OK, but nothing says YES absolutely... Wish there was another option, like the communal living of our younger years.... Any advice appreciated. Signed: Janet

When my mother-in-law was no longer able to live independently (dementia and mobility problems) we moved her to Aegis in Moraga. It is an assisted living place with sliding scale assistance: the more you need, the more you pay. But it does not feel institutional the way most AL places do. Each resident has a room with a private bath and small refrigerator/microwave. The dining room serves three meals a day. It is bright and clean in the same way Byron Park was (one reason we chose it). It is just a block from shopping, and right near a beautiful walking path. There are some sharp seniors there (alas, my mother-in-law is not one of them) and staff is nice and helpful.

Good luck with your search. Leslie

Housing for my mother moving here

I am considering moving my mother to Berkeley or close by, certainly no farther than El Cerrito, and I'm interested in learning about housing for retired people. I've heard of some of the places here that offer apartments and services for elders, but I don't know anyone who lives or lived in any of them. I've looked at the website and my mother is not a good candidate for Rossmoor. I've also gotten recommendations that contradict some of what I read. I know that many, if not all, of the popular places have waiting lists. I would be interested in opinions, recommendations or impressions. Concerned daughter

The facility is very attractive, there are lots of activities there, the people are extremely helpful and friendly and the food is pretty nutritious and tasty. If you call them they will take you on a tour and invite you for a meal. They will invite your mother to come and stay at no cost for 2 days and 2 nights. That was the selling point for my mom who was convinced she'd hate it. She loved it. We live in East Richmond, so from our house to Lake Park with no traffic (hah!) is about a 20 minute ride. On the average, depending on traffic and the route we take it's more realistically 30 minutes, but not often more. My mom's busy enough that I don't have to run over there all the time to do things for her. The few groceries that she has in her kitchenette (she eats lunch and dinner in the dining room,but breakfast in her ''studio apt'') we order from one of the internet deliveries. She can take East Bay Paratransit to most place she wants to go.

The thing about Lake Park is you have to be able to live independantly in order to buy in there. As you need assisted care or nursing care, it's available but you can't move in needing those services. We checked out some places that were rentals rather than buy ins and the prices were so outrageously high and each extra service cost extra that we would've used up all our resources in no time. I'd be happy to talk to you further. You can call me at 236-9644 or e-mail me. Good luck. June

My husband's mother has lived at Claremont House in North Oakland (on 51st St across from Longs & Safeway.) for about 2 years. She does not cook for herself and needs someone to clean her place, do her laundry, and check on her once in a while. Claremont House has a dining room with pretty good food, and is set up to help people who are not completely independent. We are pretty happy with it. She was on the waiting list for only a few months, although when we had checked into it previously there was a long wait, so I think it varies.

Before Claremont House, my mother-in-law lived at Water's Edge in Alameda which is a nice place in a very pretty setting, but it was not as convenient to our home in Berkeley. I would recommend all three of these places. Redwood Gardens has many lively and colorful residents, in keeping with its Berkeley location. Claremont House seems to have a nice mix of all kinds of older folks, while Water's Edge struck me as more the silver-haired suburban gramma set! Ginger

Inexpensive or subsidized apartments for my mother

My mother is looking to move from Santa Clara to Berkeley this summer. She'll be retiring in a couple of years, and moving back east at that point, so isn't looking to buy. So, I'm trying to find out what's out there in terms of cheap/subsidized housing for older folks (she's almost 63). I'm not looking for assisted living or anything, just a place that might be less costly. She very much wants to be in Berkeley, to be near her one and only grandson. And we could use the babysitting. Anybody know anything about this, or where to trun for more info? Thanks. Chris

My mother chose a place off of Lake Merritt called Lake Park. They invited her to stay a night or two (she stayed one night and one day) as their guest and she fell in love with it and can't wait to go back. She lives in northern N.H. in a lovely rural town in a big house but is very isolated in the winter and can't afford the continued upkeep on her house, taxes, etc. She's healthy and sharp but getting a bit frail.

Some places have what's called Life Care where you buy in and then pay a monthly fee that never changes even if the care you need changes. Other places charge monthly rent only. We found some places to be really expensive and some places to be very depressing and dumpy. Then we found some places that felt really nice and were willing to do "creative financing" such as Lake Park.

I suggest you pick up this booklet (free) and call places and go see some of them. I know there are a few supposedly really nice places in Berkeley.We didn't look at any of them because we found Lake Park and didn't need to look further. Good luck. June