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Teen Sitters & Mother's Helpers

Berkeley Parents Network > Advice > Childcare > Teen Sitters & Mother's Helpers

Advice about Teen Sitters

BPN subscribers can post a message to the Parents of Teens newsletter, and it will be read by 3,776 local parents who have teenagers at home. Write up what you are looking for - times, where you live, contact numbers, etc. and post it to Teens under "Teen Employment Opportunities".

What you should expect from a teen sitter
Most teenagers who are interested in babysitting and who are available ...

If your requirements are too demanding, you may find it difficult to find a teen sitter, and you may be better off hiring an experienced adult childcare provider.

Young teens vs. older teen
Teens often start to be interested in babysitting when they are 11 or 12, and many parents hire neighborhood teens at this age. Most parents who have long-standing arrangements with teen sitters started off with a young teen from the neighborhood whose parents would be home in an emergency. Or they initially hired the teen to come at times when a parent would be at home at the same time working on other tasks. Peak teen babysitting years seem to be between 12 and 15. Teens 15 and older tend to have social activities they want to do with their friends on the weekends. By the time they are 16, they are often driving, going to parties, involved in sports, and it becomes hard to schedule them for babysitting. In addition, 16-year-olds can work at other jobs besides babysitting that usually pay more and are less demanding. Many families have older teen sitters who have been sitting for them for a long time, since they were 12 or so. It's a good idea to develop a relationship early with a younger teen. They may be still willing to babysit for you even after they are driving!

What age child can a teen babysit for?
Most parents who hire teens have children who are past the toddler/diaper stage. There are teens who are very experienced with babies and toddlers - use your intuition about whether the teen is mature enough to care for a baby or toddler. But many teens are reluctant to change diapers, feed and clean up after a messy baby, and they often don't have the life experience to make decisions that adults think of as "just common sense". Teens may not have the experience to deal with accidents that crawlers and toddlers can so quickly get in to, and they may not know what to do in unfamiliar situations that require a judgement call.
For most teen sitters, it is best if your child can talk well enough to communicate the basics to the teen babysitter, asking for a snack, telling the teen where the towels are kept, and so on.
Teens are perfect for school-aged children. They have the energy and enthusiasm to play games with them for hours, get down on the floor with them and roll around, and engage with them in a way that adults just can't.

How much do they charge?
In Berkeley and vicinity, older and experienced teens generally charge at least minimum wage to babysit, and more if they are experienced, or if they drive, etc. They may charge more for additional children and they may charge more for late hours. Younger teens just starting out will usually take less, especially if you will be home or if their own parents are on call.

How Much to Pay Teen Sitters

Jan 2007

How much is the going rate for a 16 yr old baby sitter these days? My baby is 7 months old and to start I'm having the teen hang out with him while I am home getting some work done. If it goes well, the arrangement could include other responsibilities and leaving him alone with her. New Mom

I pay my neighbor's daughter (she just turned 17) $7.50/hour. She comes here once a week for two hours. She can do a lot, such as clearing garbage cans, folding laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming, and still has lots of energy to run around with my 7 years and 4 years old boys. She is my life saver. I am mostly home, but often I am taking a nap or in a different room when she is here. I love my mother's helper!
I always ask the babysitter up front if he or she has a set rate. If they don't, I usually give $5 an hour. (I have two kids, an 8 year old and a 3 year old.) But I think it depends what you are asking the babysitter to do. If you're talking about watching the child for a few hours, $4 to $5 an hour may be enough. If watching the child involves feedings and baths, $5 to $6 an hour is probably more appropriate. If you're adding housework, cooking, etc., then you should bump it up according to the amount of work. I tend to pay more if I'm out after 10 p.m. and on special nights, such as New Year's Eve. Also, does your 16-year-old babysitter drive? When I don't have to pick up and drop off, I usually add $1 an hour to cover their gas expenses. A mom of three
Hi. I have a 2 year old and fraternal twins that are 2 1/2 months. Consequently, I have been using a variety of nanny services and teenage babysitters. I have been paying between $9 and $10 per hr. It seems to work out well. Of course, I should mention that the baby sitter is not expected to sit w/ all 3 at a time being paid this amount. She watches the twins at one given job time and then maybe my 2 year old daughter at another time. Hope this helps. Kelley
It depends on experience. I started out at $6 an hour, but that was when I was maybe 13. When I was 16, it was about $8 and then that year increased to the $10-15 range as I got more experience. Since the job doesn't involve driving any kids and since you are home, probably $10 is very good. It also depends on your neighborhood. I mostly babysit in Lafayette and Orinda, and when I sit for families in Walnut Creek I usually get paid a bit less. High school sitter
March 2004

What is the current 2004 rate for paying a teen babysitter? The recomendation list indicated that for 2003 it was between $5-6. Is it still the same for one child? Does age of the child matter? seeking teen sitter

My 14-year-old gets about $6.00 per hour to watch one (quite easy) 3-year-old. If the parents are out fairly late, they give a bit more. We are in Albany - don't know if it varies by area. babysitter's mom
I'm currently paying a college senior $10/hour to sit with our two year old daughter. If I found a high schooler, it would probably more like $8/hr. I've checked with friends who pay $10/hr for a high schooler to sit with two pre-teen boys. Hope that helps. Lori
August 2003

I'm interested in hearing what others pay neighborhood babysitters for one child. There's a 13 year old in the area charging $8.00/hour and that just seems like a lot to me. Is this the normal rate these days and I just need to accept it? Stephanie

A 13-year-old babysitter who asks $8 per hour?! For one kid? I'd expect her to do windows as well for such a sum. I guess my almost-14-year-old must be a soft touch, because she charges $4 an hour for minding the 8-year-old son of a lower-income single mom. (It's her first official babysitting experience.) Anyway, I obviously think $8 an hour kind of outrageous; $5 is more in line.
Eight dollars an hour for a 13 year old (is she babysitting just one child?) sounds steep to me! Our babysitter is 16 and watches our two children and we pay her $7/hr, which I think is fair (she plays with them for an hour or two and then they are asleep for the rest of the night). My friend's daughter, who is 15, charges $8/hr for two children. Good luck
My 15 year old has Bananas babysitting and CPR certificates. He has three years' experience with individual kids and groups. Around Albany/North Berkeley, he charges $6.75 (minimum wage) for the first kid and, I think, half that for each additional kid. In the institutional setting, I think he gets $12/hour for however many show up. Dana
$8/hour is high for a 13-year-old. The teens I know of charge $5 - $6/hour even for several children. Minimum wage for adults is between $6 - $7/hour -- too low for a living wage for a parent supporting a family, but the guidelines parents I know tend to follow state that teens should be paid less than minimum wage. Maybe because they are still living at home and have all their expenses met.
I live in the Contra Costa County area and $8. per hr. is the going rate out here. I do have 3 children though. And we don't pay per child. Michelle
I've heard that babysitting rates vary with the neighborhood. We live in El Cerrito and my 13 year old charges $5/hour. As she gets more experienced, she may raise it to $6/hr. Ask other families in your area. They may be able to recommend someone with more reasonable rates. I think $8/hr is high for a 13 year old, especially if there are only one or two children to watch. Wendy
What service is the teen providing? Is it the same as if it were an adult babysitting your child? If so, you should pay the same rate (isn't it age discrimination otherwise?). If the teen is more of a mom's helper, then adjust accordingly. My 14 year old neighbor sits for us in the afternoons when I'm here or out on short errands and we pay her $7/hr (she leaves a mess with the kids, but keeps them safe and they all have a great time); my 17 year old neighbor watches my two kids at night (dinner, bath and bedtime) and we pay $10-12. Jen
Like anything else, teen babysitter rates are set by the laws of supply & demand. $8/hr for a 13 yo sitter sounds to me like it's on the high side, but if she's getting work from other clients at that rate, then she's probably better than the average sitter and the rate is fair. If she's not getting as many jobs as she wants, though, then I suspect she should be charging less. I pay 18 year old sitters $10 or $11 per hour; that's my basis of comparison. Fran
We pay our 13 year old sitter $10/hour. That is for two pre- school age kids. She baths them, gives them dinner (that we 'get started' for her), gets them in bed, reads to them, settles them down for sleep and then cleans up. She still has time for some TV or homework after all that. We have a regular 'gig' with her so that we can go out to dinner and have at least one intelligent, uniterrupted conversation per week. We are usually out for 2-3 hours so it is not hugely expensive. For long nights, like going to a concert or something, we try to enlist the help of Grandma :-)

We have family with small kids all over the country and at a recent family get togther we compared baby sitting rates. It ranged from $5/hour for four kids in the mid-west (what a deal!) to our $10/hour for two kids here in CA.

I pay a few 16 yr olds $8/ hour and college students around age 20 yr old $10/hr. $8 for a 13 yr old sounds high to me! another mom
Our babysitter charges $6/hr. to watch our 4 year old son. The sitter is a 15 yr. old just entering Piedmont High School. $8 for a 13 y.o. sounds like a lot. A mom.
We pay a 20 year old, with a ton of babysitting experience: $9 per hour for our 2 children. the 14 year old neighborhood girl, we pay $7-8. It adds up quick, doesn't it! eve
When the babysitter is inexperienced, i.e. I'm the first customer, I paid $3/hr, then raised to $3.50/hr after 4 sits. When I ask for last minute sits or it's extra work for them, then I raise to $4/hr. I live in Moraga, and I think other parents have paid as high as $5/hr. When I share a babysitter with another child, then the rate dropped to $3/child, with 3 kids max per teen. I think it's more important to start low and raise their rates gradually as a reward for being reliable, etc... Anonymous
My daughter who is almost 16 charges $7/hour for toddler up, and takes care of one or two children at that rate. She wants the experience of taking care of an infant so I would encourage her to charge the same. The parents pick her up and bring her home too. One family has one child and housework and the other has two young children. I know she is a very hard worker and a devoted attentive caretaker, so I think they are getting a great deal for the price. When I had three children, all school age, I paid $10/hour for an adult who could drive. That was eight years ago. We ask a lot of these substitute parents! I think more easy, informal, just be there situations are different, but the work she does involves commitment and aggressive taking of responsibility. anon
July 2003

I have a new baby and a potential babysitter (the neighbor's daughter). I was wondering what the going hourly rate is for teenager to babysit. amy

We pay $7 to $10 per hour, but $10 is usually when there are two kids. Holly
Our neighbor's daughter charges $6/hour.
We currently pay our teenage babysitter $8/hour to care for two children (ages 2.5 and 6 years) so we can have a ''date night'' once or twice a month. -Sharon
Dec 2002

What is the fair payment for a teenage babysitter who lives around the corner from me who will be babysitting my 9 year old and 5 year old about 3-4 hours a week while I go to the gym? She will watch them 5:30-6:45 AM one morning and 7:30-9:30 on Saturdays. I will drop her off and pick her up for the early AM hours. Should she receive night differential for the early AM hours? I have no idea what is fair. No house work or anything expected except telling the kids to get dressed for school if they wake up. thank you in advance
Single mom desperate for a workout

We pay our teen babysitter $10/hour for two kids (age 6 and almost 2) or $6/hour for one kid. I think this is about going rate, and she is terrific. She typically works for us evenings (caring for our son and friends' daughter while all four parents are at our once-a-week choir rehearsal), so I don't know about the early a.m. question, but we don't usually provide transportation and she works pretty hard, often feeding one or both kids dinner, giving them a bath, and getting them to bed. Yours has it harder with the hours but easier with the actual care. Holly
Heh, I know that desparation for a workout! I haven't used my teen babysitter yet, but friends have; I asked her her rate and she said $7/hour. I think that's fair. You can ask, or just offer. Have a good workout! Jennie, a single mom
Nov 1999

I have 3 teens who babysit. The 16 yr old receives $8-10 which includes cooking their meals, cleans the kitchen, unpack the dishes from the dishwasher, cleans up after the kids, sometimes the living room/family room. The 15 yr old does the same work as the 16 yr old but receives $7-9 and the 14 yr old receives $5-6 - orders pizza, cleans the dishes and plays with the kids. If there are 4 or more kids, they are paid at the higher end. Age does make a difference as you can see. There is no driving involved now but the kids said once driving begins, the rate is definitely $10-12.

Contact Bananas on Claremont and ask them what people are paying. They also offer workshops for teens on babysitting strategies. They have free mailings letting people know what is happening in this area too. Doreen

Finding a Teen Babysitter

 Sept 2005

My husband and I are in great need of finding a babysitter so we can get out for a date night every now and then. I have posted on the childcare newsletter several times and have gotten very little response. We would like a highschool or college age female who has their own transportation and babysitting experience. Do any of the local highschools and/or colleges have job boards that you can put posts up on for babysitting? When a friend finds someone good they are less then eager to give their babysitter's name over which is understanable, but we really need to get out! Any advice on finding a babysitter other then BPN childcare digest would be so much appreciated. Oh, we live just off of Trestle Glen in Oakland. Thanks in advance! Parents who need a break!

Hi, Ask neighbors. Try Cal Jobs on the UC Berkeley website JM
My sister has found some great teen sitters by advertising at the local Mormon Temple (we're not Mormon). Makes sense to me. Suppose you could extend that approach to any place of worship that has a ''Sunday School'' component to it where teens are involved in childcare. anon
2001

I have just arrived in Berkeley, and I agree it is very difficult to find a babysitter.

The only thing that helped me was asking people in the neighboorhood if there were teenagers who did some babysitting, and we foudn 2 nice girls that way. If you don't know people in your neighbourhood very well, why don't you mention where you live on this web site and see if anyone who lives nearby can help?

Otherwise, the university should be a good source, and putting an ad in the Daily Cal is a good way to find students interested in sitting. Hope this helps.

Using Young Babysitters

 Does anyone have any advice or input on the advantages/disadvantages of using adolescent aged babysitters? I have had offers for sitting from 14 & 15 year olds who claim (and parents claim) to be mature and capable of handling my two children. I, myself, babysat young infants when I was approximately 14, but now that it's MY child I feel slightly apprehensive. thanks for your input.
It depends on the babysitter. Every child is different. We have a sitter whose services we started using when she was 14. She is WONDERFUL--conscientious, focuses on the kids, brings things for them to do (she has a "kid-kit" armed with stamps, sticker, etc. etc). She is down to earth and sensible, and does a really good job. I never worry about leaving my daughter (now 3) with her, since I'm sure that she'll make good decisions, even in the face of trouble.

On the other hand, my stepdaughter, only a month younger than this other girl, was not nearly as good. Some of this was probably the resentment factor. But some of it is just temperament. She didn't want to "be bothered" to really engage her little sister, and viewed the whole exercise as punishment, even when she was being "paid" (in currency or by clothes-shopping allowance, etc).

So I don't think there is a standard answer. As with everything involving humans, you'll have to gather the information and make a decision based on the individual characteristics of the person. Good luck! Dawn

My son is five and half and we have been using young sitters for the past year. Both sitters are boys. One is 13 and the other 14. The advantages, as I see it, are that they are close enough in age to my son to be playmates, but "tall" enough and confidant enough to be authority figures. We know the families of both boys and both live in our neighborhood. We have always told them that if they encounter a situation they don't know how to handle, they should call their parents. Their parents feel fine about this. This lends a feeling of security for everyone. (Remember, even the teenager's parents are wondering if he is ready, can handle himself, knows what to do in an emergency, etc. - to their parents, the child is just past the age of needing babysitters!) Also, my son is not the rebellious type. You might want to run a trial with the teenager and your child when you are home. You can see how they interact and monitor the situation. This way everyone has a chance to check it out. Good Luck!
I would use extreme caution with young sitters, but my strict safety criteria would really apply to any sitter, irrespective of age. Some young folks are more responsible and competent than some adults, as you would expect. Imagine a worst case scenario, then ask yourself if you think the prospective sitter could deal with it. Included events might be a huge, fast fire, a big earthquake, the child choking on a small object which is stuck in the airway, or the child falling & hitting his/her head & losing consciousness, an insistent stranger at the door. I would review those scenarios with a prospective sitter and ask how they would handle each case. Then listen very carefully to their responses, letting them talk rather than asking them leading questions. Would the sitter be able to calmly call 911 and explain the situation or transport the child to emergency? Also, there may be issues with infant care that are different than with an older child. Is there reasonable age-appropriate childproofing in the house? Has the child had limits set on wild behavior? Is the child respectful of sitters? Can the sitter lift and carry the child easily? You want someone calm, mature & thoughtful no matter what their age. Whether I took the word of the sitter's parent about their capabilities would depend a lot on what I knew about the parent. Good luck! Christine
One thing to consider with young babysitters, or even older ones - if you are friends with your neighbors, set up a babysitting date when the neighbor is home and can be called for help an emergency. A "backup" is a great idea. When I started babysitting at 11, my mother would come help me if necessary. And carry a pager or cell phone so you can be reached immediately.
I'd suggest you try babysitters out! That's what we did with our 14 year-old babysitter before we were happy with leaving her with our young twin daughters for any considerable length of time. We just scheduled a time for her to come one saturday afternoon when we could spend some time telling and showing her all the things we wanted, and then we went out to an early dinner, with my cell phone on for any problems. We called once just to see if things were doing OK. She did great and we now use her as our main babysitter. This tryout let us get to know her some, and of course gave us the option to go out an leave her or not if it seemed like she wasn't right. I know I started babysitting at around 13 when I was growing up, but of course it depends on the person as to if they are mature enough, etc, to make you confident leaving your kids with them.

How Old does a Teen need to be?

2001

What age is considered to be an appropriate one for a teenage babysitter? If the teen is CPR certified, taken a babysitting course, seems keen and responsible, is, say, 14 ok? Also, how long can one expect to have an interested babysitter if we pay and treat him/her well? What is a good 'contract' for hours per week/month? Our family has had a couple of 15/16 year olds who we just get to know and then they are off to 'real' jobs/ social life. All I am looking for is someone to care for and play with the kids (2.5 and 6.5 yrs) while my husband and I go out for the odd dinner -- not every day or late nights. Caroline

In answer to the question about how old a teenager should be to babysit- it depends on the teenager. I actually started babysitting myself when I was eleven, only in the afternoon, babysitting the 3 year old next door while my mother was at home. I was the oldest of 4 children however and had lots of in-home experience. (I know times have changed however).

As troop leader of a group of Junior and Cadette girl scouts (grades 4-8), I got to know quite a few girls some of whom later became babysitters for my 2 year old adopted son. The girls became most interested in babysitting around 12-13, wanting to get CPR certified, earn money, etc. 13-15 is the peak years for wanting to babysit before they get too involved with boys, school, sports, etc. I was lucky knowing these girls intimately, I knew which ones were mature, had younger siblings, babies in the family, etc. Now that they are older, I can only get them on an occasional basis, but during those late middle school years they were more available. For girls who were just starting out, their moms were available at their house to answer questions or to come over and help if there was an immediate question. We also had a cell phone the sitter could call, etc. 14 is plenty old enough to babysit children ages 2-6 if the sitter is responsible. Christine

Pre-Teen Mother's Helpers

March 2006

My daughter is almost 10 and a neighbor has offered to hire her as a ''mother's helper'' for the neighbor's almost-2-year-old. This would involve my daughter playing with the neighbor's child while the mother is home. For those of you with experience (on either side, hiring or having your child work as a mother's helper), how old were the helpers typically? Also, what is the going rate for this? My daughter would be happy to do it for free, but perhaps she should charge something so I'd like to find out what other folks are charging. Thanks!

My daughter who is now 20 starting babysitting at 11 yrs. old, having been through 2 Babysitter Classes. If you know the family well and they know your daughter well, an hr. here or there can't hurt...it will be a great learning experience. As for pay, maybe a couple of bucks a pop...The average sitter gets $6/hr. but that's someone experienced, trained, etc. Good luck kmaz
My daughter is 10 and works as a mother's helper once a week for 2 hours. she gets paid $2.50/hr (she asked for $2/hr, but the neighbor has been paying her $2.50) She only plays with the child, doesn't do any household chores. Of course the parent is ALWAYS there! Deborah
Sept 2005

I'm considering hiring a teenage ''mother's helper'' to play with my generally happy, exploring 8month old while I do work on the computer at home or do other activities that require baby-free time (e.g., stain/varnish furniture). I have a referral for a 14 year old but have not yet met with her. My question - Is it appropriate to ask other duties of a 12-15 year old girl or boy? Mainly s/he should be playing with my baby, but what if at the scheduled ''help'' times my baby ends up taking a nap? Do I send the helper home (with or without pay)? Do I ask the helper to load/unload the dishwasher? Do baby-related chores (change sheets, start laundry)? I realize some of these things would be skill-dependent on the mother's helper, but I wanted a sense from other moms what your expectatoins have been - and, of course, what you have paid the helper. Thanks! wanting a few hours

You can structure things any way that works for both you and your helper, but if you want her to do light housework while your child naps, you should be very clear about that up front. You should also err on the side of caution when it comes to those duties.

Also, if you are hiring the helper for 6 hours a week, you should pay her for 6 hours a week whether you end up using her for the full time or not. If she's setting that time aside for you, she deserves to be paid for it. Sara

I have a mother's helper who comes 3xs a week. She's not a teen, but that's what I was originally looking for. I pay her minimun wage and her main duty is to play with the baby. When the baby naps & when I feed the baby, she helps me by straightening out the kids' room (but I do all the cleaning) and by folding the baby's clothing. She probably has at leat 1/2-1 hour a day of down time after that, but I don't really think it's fair for her to do non-baby related stuff. After all a housecleaner would charge me at least $12 an hour. anon
Hi, we live in the same area (Longridge Road) and we have a wonderful babysitter which I would gladly share since we only go out about once month.
Nov 2003

My 11 year old has been recruited to babysit. She is eager, loving and responsible. She is not doing it alone at this time, even during the day. That means I'm her backup resource. I have no idea what is reasonable for her to charge. It will be a good lesson in learning about money and the value of labor. I hope! Any reference point or thoughts on paying young babysitters would be appreciated. Thanks!

Hi -- I live in Pleasant Hill and use a few 7th graders (11 and 12 year olds) for babysitting in the afternoons occasionally. The going rate here for that age seems to be about $5/hr. For the high school kids, we pay $10/hr (ouch!). Hope this helps! Trish
We had a 13 year old babysitter for our son (12-15 months at the time). The only difference from your situation is that we were home at the time, although there were times later on that she did at times take him to the park around the corner. She set her own price at $2.50 and when she got used to our son's needs we raised it to $3.00. She still works for us now and then but not as frequently since she's back in school.

Others may disagree with me but I think 11 (or 13) is too young to leave with a baby or toddler without the parents home, or another adult caregiver who the child knows and who is familiar with that child. A preschool age kid might be a bit different for short periods of time. Eagerness and even responsibility don't take the place of maturity and knowledge. I know you said you were the 'back-up' but what does that mean? She can call you from the babysitting job with questions? You live across the street from the job and can run right over? You go to the job with her but stay out of the way? Or do you go and guide her step by step? Of course this is between you, your daughter, and the other child's parents. The reason I metion this is that I think the payment to a babysitter would be less if the parents are home than if they're not. Just one perspective. Protective mama bear

April 2002

I'm an expert on nanny salaries (and pretty good on babysitter rates), but I have no idea what to pay an 11 year old who wants to be a ''mother's helper'' - i.e., he will play with my 3 year old while I (hopefully) do other things in the house. Would love to hear thoughts on the appropriate wage. Fran

When my son was nine he worked as a mother's helper and charged $1/hr, but most people paid him $2/hr. Deborah
We have a 12-year-old mother's helper, and we pay her $2 an hour. We sometimes include a little more than this, give her gifts for birthdays and Christmas, take her to dinner periodically...so it works out to more than that. She has taken care of our cat before and watered our garden when we've been away, and on those occasions we pay her $5 a visit. She's probably due for a raise, come to think of it. Anyway, she's thrilled with both amounts and our son adores her. Carolyn
A neighbor girl (eighth grader) has been a mother's helper to me two hours per week for over one year and I pay her $5/hour. My girls are four and two and they are happy to go off and play with Molly while I work around the house. It has worked out very well for us and she has graduated to babysitting in the evenings (when her parents are home and we are going out locally) after the girls go to bed. We pay a bit more for babysitting in the evenings. It is nice to see the girls forming this strong relationship with a neighbor family and it has created a nice bond between the adults of the families as well. Laura
We paid our 12-year old mother's helper $5 an hour (although we usually rounded up a bit with a ''tip'' as a bonus), and she spent about 10-20 hours a week during the summer with us when our son was 4 to 8 weeks old. It was wonderful to be able to take a shower, answer e-mail, eat lunch, etc. while she held or ''played'' with him. Kristie

Teen sitter for a 3 1/2 month old?

July 2004

Re the following posting: Am I the only parent out here who questions the wisdom of having a teenager, and a virtual stranger at that, caring for a 3 1/2 month old child??? What do others think? ?????

Hi, I have a 3 1/2 month old baby boy & am looking for a reliable teen sitter. I'm hoping to find someone who another mom can recommend to me... we're hoping to hire someone to watch our baby once a week for a date night... Contact: Jennifer
Families have been enlisting the help of older children to help with infant care probably since the origins of family/community life. That's not so strange. In fact, teens have babies of their own quite often and have been doing so, again, since the origins of human time. There is nothing intrinsically wrong or bad or dangerous about a teenager caring for an infant.

My teen would not be the ideal candidate for babysitting an infant. However, someone else's teen might. She/he might even have more experience than many adults, if she has been charged with caring for infant siblings.

Personally, if I were the parent of a 3 1/2 month old infant, again, I would appreciate support and understanding from my community and not a questioning of my judgment based on other's opinions of what is safe or not safe for my child. Just because we *think* something is true, doesn't necessarily make it so. evalynne

It totally depends on the teen. I have seen many teens, myself included - although a long time ago, who can and do babysit a baby of this age with nearly as much expertise, tenderness and responsibility as many moms. It it up to each individual parent to decide what is best for their infant. But IMHO teen babysitters should not be disparaged in this format. Many a mother logging onto this network has used a teen babysitter for a much needed break with no problems.. there are ALWAYS concerns when leaving young children in anyone else's care, even family. anonymous

Teenage Babysitter may be stealing

August 2004

I'm worried that my next door neighbors teenage daughter is stealing when she comes over. Today I came home from work and found a couple of small ceramic bear figurines missing. The only reason I noticed it was because I had recently re-organized the shelf they were on and had moved them to a higher shelf so my almost 4 yr old couldn't reach them. I had 5 and now there are only 3. Honestly, this isn't about the items itself but more the pricipal of the matter. I'm bothered by the breech of trust and worried about the daughter. I already exhausted all avenues in our home as to where they may be and the only logical explanation seems to point to her (we had give them a spare key to get in while we were at work so they could feed our cats while we were gone). Any advice on how to bring this up as gently as possible would be helpful.

it really depends. how long and how well do you know the family. is this the only incident of stealing you suspect. have there been other times. what hard evidence can you confront them with? if you don't know the family well, and there have been other incidences, then I would get a new baby sitter. You need to have trust in your babysitter for peace of mind. on the other hand, if you know the family well, and feel that your allegations would be handled with respect and understanding, then I would approach the parents. Having said all that, with regards to the safety and care of my children, I might just get another sitter anyway. I need peace of mind as well as a mature individual watching my children. anon
I would be 100 % sure of your accusation before talking with your neighbor. My 1.5 and 3 year old know how to pick up our step stool or scoot chairs over to get what they want. If something is missing, I usually give it a couple weeks and it turns up in the most creative places. You might casually ask your teen neighbor if they remember seeing your child play with the bears because they are missing. If your not comfortable with them having your key then maybe someone else should cat sit and ask for the key back. The biggest issues here are: do you really think your neighbor is stealing? Are you paranoid and over reacting? Do you not feel comfortable with your neighbors having the house keys? Handle with caution especially if you plan on living by them for a while. Decent neighbors are hard to find and are not perfect. If they are wrongly accused of something you may lose a friend/neighbor that is irreplaceable. If you are not sure, there are ways to get your thoughts across without damaging the relationship. If they have taken something, are you willing to forgive them and put boundaries on the relationship or terminate things? Lots to think about. Good luck and I hope you find your bears. Anon

Teen Babysitter No Show

Oct 2002

Any advice on how to educate teen babysitters on being responsible for: 1) showing up when scheduled; 2) if they can't show up, calling to cancel beforehand; and 3) if they didn't show up, and didn't call to cancel beforehand, returning my call the day after to talk about why they didn't show up and didn't call to cancel?

I'm frustrated, since this has happened more than once. Maybe the parents of teens can help me figure the best way to teach professionalism to a teen. These are teen babysitters who offer their services on the UCB Parents listserv. Your advice is welcome. Rebecca

Wow--I babysat a ton when I was a teen and my mom would have *killed* me if I was that irresponsible. First of all, I would start by deciding to not hire the teen again. Furthermore, if you are able to, I suggest you speak to her/him (or maybe send an email if you have an address) explaining why the behavior was unacceptable and you are unwilling to hire her/him again. If this is done in a non-patronizing and non-angry manner, I think the teenager will hear an important lesson about basic responsibility, even simple courtesy. In the long run, you may help her/him become a more aware and professional young person. Good luck. Elizabeth
Your complaint is familiar to me. We had a wonderful teen sitter who forgot a few times. My husband was very sympathetic to her and told me that it was our responsibility to remind her. So I always called her the day before to confirm/remind her of the time and date. This actually helped immensely. Jennifer
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