Nervous about planning a 5-year-old birthday party

hi i am planning on having a 5th birthday party for my son and am a bit nervous. i won`t know most of the parents or the kids for that matter since we are new here and am on a budget so can`t get an entertainer any ideas on what to do? i`ll have music and food and its around noon but am a little self conscious and can`t think of anything other then pass the parcel and musical chairs!!! how long should these thing last for? my son is an extrovert and is desperate for a party and has had a very hard time with his health recently so really deserves this to go well. anxious single mum mary

I think that birthday partys should be kid-focused and fun. I knew all the families, so we made it a ''drop off'' party. That doesn't sound like something you are in the position to do, so maybe you could hire a teen to run some games like the ones described below so you could also have time to chat with parents. Just a thought...

I'm assuming this will be an inside party: I would plan for 2 hours, max.

Have an area with some interesting open-ended toys out, where kids can play if they're not participating in a game. If you can score a refridgerator box and cut some doors and windows out, you're really in business.

Here's an example of a schedule: Party is from 12:00 to 2:00 pm.

12:00 - 12:30 Arrival and Craft some sort of craft project - for my daughter's recent 5th birthday party, we had a table set up where the kids could decorate some ''binoculars'' I had made up out of empty toilet paper tubes stapled together and strung with yarn (check out East Bay Depot on San Pablo Ave @ Ashby 547-6470, very cheap and interesting stuff!). There were cups of markers (50 cents a pack from Ikea) and some sheets of stickers for decorating the binoculars.

12:30- 1:00 Games Have kids sit in a circle and explain your house rules about having fun and being safe, where the bathroom is, what's off limits etc. Pass the Parcel would be great fun, the only hesitation with Musical Chairs that I would have is that, basically everyone except one child loses, and some kids aren't emotionally mature enough to take it in the spirit of a game at this age. Maybe Musical Statues instead: the music stops, everyone freezes into a funny pose, etc. Or a ''Cake Walk'' type game where everyone wins a small prize.

Some fun circle games that don't require expensive supplies:

1)''Bear and Tiger''- need one stuffed Bear and one stuffed Tiger (or whatever stuffed animals you choose). 2 children on opposite sides hold the stuffed animals. Explain that the Bear is trying to catch the Tiger. Children pass the animals around as quickly as they can, trying to make make the Bear catch the Tiger, or helping the Tiger escape the Bear. No winners, good fun.

2)''Paper Bag Guess'' Label some paper bags with each letter of birthday boy's name and put an object that starts with that letter inside. Pass bags around and children guess contents. Example: ''S'' bag has a sock, etc.

3)''Pistacio Vacuums'' This was originally peanut vacum, but changed due to some children having allergies to peanuts. Supplies needed: A pound or so of pistacio nuts or other small, light objects, drinking straws, cups. Place a spread-out mound of nuts or whatever in the center of the circle. Show how children can use their straws to suck a nut back to their space and place it in their cup. On ''Go'', everyone races to fill their cup.

4)''Snowball Fight'' of ''Clean Up Your Room'' supplies needed: a lot of socks, balled up. Ask children if they've ever been asked to clean up their room. In this game, you win when your side of the ''room'' is clean, i.e. has no socks on the floor. Children can be divided into two teams or even better, adults against kids since it's a pretty even ability game. Lay a rope or something to demarcate the dividing line, (after first having removed the breakables from the room) toss the socks out and yell ''Clean up Your Room!''. This usually goes until everyone is too weak from laughing.

5)''Fruit Roll Up Race'' Have an adult set this up while the other games are going on. Supplies: one fruit roll up per child (remember to allow for siblings, etc.) string, and miniclothes pins (from good old Ikea). In an area that will allow space for each child to stand side by side, unroll and suspend fruit roll ups from a horizontal string, about at child head height. Secure with clothes pins. Children place hands behind back catch the end of fruit rollup in their mouths and eat. ''Can't use your hands!''

1:00 - 2:00 Free Play and clean up from games, then food, cake and pinata and more free play at the end.

A pinata is a standard grand finale to kid birthday parties around here, if you've got the space for children to swing wildly at a suspended object! Check out the Paper Plus Outlet on San Pablo Ave 525-1799 for pinatas, balloons and thank you notes, etc. Pinatas are usually filled with candy, but can also be stickers and other treats. Giving children a small paper bag with their name on it pre stuffed with and party favors you might choose (see www.orientaltrading.com for personalized pencils @ 2 dozen for $5) gives them a place to store pinata loot and also serves as a party favor.

I don't like to have my children open their gifts at parties at this age, as I prefer the focus to be on fun and celebrating, but many people do. I wish you and your son a great birthday! Please feel free to contact me if there is any more info you need. All the best to you. Katia

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My son is turning 5 in December and I am totally at a loss on what to do for his birthday. He loves the park and the outdoors, but since it's winter, it will be cold and likely raining (it has the past two years!) I will be inviting about 10 friends. I would love some ideas for either a party at home with entertainment like a magician, balloonist, etc., or other clever ideas/games or an outing to a great indoor place that isn't too pricey. Thanks! Desperate mom
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Party games for 5 yr olds

My daughter's 5 year old birthday party is coming up and we are planning a simple event with approx 10 children. We would like to play some party games such as duck duck goose and pin the tail on the donkey. We are wondering if anyone could recommend any fun games of this nature for the gang to enjoy. Many thanks.

1. ''Clean Your Room'' - need a bunch of old socks, balled up and a jump rope. Divide group into 2 teams on either side of the jumprope laid out on the ground(we played kids vs grownups. Toss the socks out - everyone pelts them at the other team whilst yelling ''CLEAN YOUR ROOM!'' Object is to get all the socks on the other side (never happens - just play until everyone collapses into sillies).

2. ''Stomper Tails'' (Outside game) Need some crepe paper streamers. Tuck a length into each child's waistband, long enough to trail to the ground. Run around madly and enjoy your tail. 5 year olds may enjoy trying to stomp each other's tails off. Enjoy the party! Katia

I am wondering if anyone has any great games to recomnmend for a 5 year old birthday party. For various reasons, it will probably end up being a fairly big sized group (over 10) and i'm a bit intimidated by the idea. I'm looking for non-competitive, simple game ideas that could ideally work either outside (weather good) or inside (weather bad) -- but any and all ideas are most welcomed. party planning mom

1) Decorating your own cake or cupcake. If you make a cake in a cool shape (castle, with layers, or a rocket or flower cut out of a flat cake, etc.), they have great fun throwing all kinds of sugary stuff on it (I give each kids a couple tiny cups of different stuff, most bought at Spun Sugar on University). It looks pretty awful when they're done, but it's very inclusive; all the kids feel ownership, and they love doing it. You can also just use a flat rectangle and apply all kinds of themes (circus, fair, jungle, etc.) by using tiny toys as well. Cupcakes work too, though it's not as much of a group game.

2) Making costumes. This works best with a base that's fun to wear by itself if kids don't feel like doing any decorating. Our biggest success was with jetpacks (I saved cereal boxes and similar shapes for a couple months, and I save all kinds of little shapes to glue on, like egg cartons, toilet paper rolls, other rolls, wine corks, jar lids for control-buttons, pipe cleaners, paper cups to be the jets, etc., and I spray-painted everything a silver metalic color; we used duct tape, pipe cleaners and brass fasteners to attach everything; I got elastic from that re-use place on San Pablo at Ashby to make arm straps, and they were off.) We've also made wings using hangers covered with girls' tights (so they're anything from bees and butterflies to fairies) and antennae made with headbands and pipecleaners.

(3) Making a collage mural with a giant piece of paper from the Art Store, lots of cool shapes and pictures you cut out or buy, and lots of tape (avoid glue and paint if you're indoors). Take polaroids in front of it that each kid can take home.

(4) If you're outside, have them strip to their underwear and paint T-shirts with regular acrylic paint. Remember to put newspaper inside each T-shirt until it dries so front and back don't stick together. We did this with 4-year-olds, and they loved it. Laura

Games to quiet a noisy bunch down:

Story games work great:

Write up a 5-10 minute story and include each child in it and have the child contribute on the fly (by naming a favorite toy, animal or something). Many times the results are hilarious and the children really love them. ( This is reminiscent of ''sniglets'' I think they were called... where you name so many nouns and verbs and they are inserted into a story randomly.)

Party Hat making: You can set the kids to making party hats from newspaper, construction paper, all sorts of stuff. Just make sure you have some rough designs and if needed some parts cut out already. A party hat fashion show after is also a hit.

Games to exercise a bunch with too much energy:

Balloon popping. You can put ''toys,'' ''fortunes'' or ''matching puzzle pieces'' into balloons before you blow them up. The children then retrieve and pop several balloons and work to use or read or put together their treasures. Balloons can be hidden, hung, put into a big random box, floated on the ceiling with helium...

Hunting games: simular to easter egg hunts... Hide something the kids must find. This can be a bag of goodies, a small toy, a piece to a puzzle. Realize if the area they will be ''hunting in'' is the party area, your items might be found before the game begins!

A good circle dance with ''The Hokey Pokey'' works great and is completely non competitive. This is a bit tough with 5 year olds and the left/right knowledge is above them, but if you can get the adults to dance along too, the kids pick it up QUICK! You can pick up a CD of the music fairly easily.

Sing along on old MacDonald and having the children be animals and make the animal sounds is REALLY FUNNY. You can break them up into groups to make the sounds or give each child an animal to be... A great ice breaker. - Sue

For us the best activity was rolling across the lawn in a long thin box. The kids did this over and over until the box finally died.

Two more suggestions - (1) Have at least one extra adult, but maybe not all those parents, and (2) consider serving drinks in heavy bottom glasses instead of paper cups (I read this somewhere and it really cuts down on spills!)

Good luck, enjoy! Heather

If you don't mind simple cleanup outside, get some sidewalk chalk and have them draw a single item together. Make a mural. Do the face painting thing (some teenage girls are very good at this and love doing it).

I hired my son's favorite character from TV (an impersonator) and he kept them entertained for over an hour, which was about half of the party time. The rest was spent in eating cake and ice cream and opening presents. marianne

Special party for small group

This is the first birthday party for my daughter since the divorce and I am not sure what to do. Initially, I wanted to throw a party in the park, only later to realize I have only about 3 children to invite to my daughter's party. I have not kept up with most of the families from our marriage and most of my daughter's new friends are from school and I simply don't have their phone numbers! I wanted to do something very special for my daughter, but don't know what I can do with a group of three children. (Granted her father is throwing a big party for her, I was thinking to do something other than a party, perhaps take them to a theater, or a hiking adventure?). Please, I need some creative help here. Thank you!