Berkeley Parents Network >
Because of past experiences with pregnancy loss, I am
considering having a shower after our baby is born instead of
before. Has anyone done this? Were you up for it or was it a
chore? How long after the birth did you have the shower? Any
thoughts on post-birth showers welcome.
I had a ''post baby'' baby shower with my second baby. It was definitely
better than if we had tried to do it before the baby was born. We
decided to keep the sex of the baby a surprise so although we already
had baby items from our daughter, we didn't know what we might need
for a second ''unknown'' baby. We ended up having a son so it was
wonderful to get boy baby clothes which we did not have (he spent his
first night home from the hospital in a pink blanket!). My wonderful
friend did all the shower arrangements at my home so I didn't have to do
anything or go anywhere with a newborn. It was about a month after
he was born. We had lots of family and friends, everyone got to see the
baby - definitely a good call.
I think a ''post'' baby shower is a great idea no matter whether it's your
first, second or whatever. You always realize the things you Really
needed after the baby comes anyway!
I think a baby shower ANYTIME is a reason to celebrate,
especially in your circumstance. However, I would check with
your baby's pediatrician (or ask your OB/GYN if you don't have a
pediatrician yet) what the guidelines are for exposing your
newborn to a large group of people--you might have to wait a few
weeks until the baby's immune system is stronger. And if you can
have a friend or family member help you with the party, that
would definitely be a great help. But I would think people would
be delighted to come and shower gifts upon you, before OR after
the birth (and as an added bonus they get to meet the baby!)
Congrats, & have fun!
Wow. What a great idea.
I would suggest that you give over the planning to a dear friend
or relative. You will be very tired and maybe not up for
the 'games' but seeing everyone and having a short intimate
party would probably be great and everyone will be very excited
to see your new one. Any time after the birth would probably be
great, but do allow some time for post partum recovery.
I am throwing a babyshower for my friend, but I have no idea
how to do it. What kind of food should I serve? Just cookies,
or real food like chicken, etc.? Should I organize games? If
yes, what kind of games? Should I get prizes for the ones who
win the games? How long is the shower suppose to last? What
about decoration? Where can I get the cheapest things that I
would need for this? How long in advance should I start
planning? Who should I invite? Is it really just for girls?
Planning a Babyshower
How big will this shower be? Is it a surprise? If it's not a
surprise, get a list from the honored guest of who she would
like to invite. Call or send invites to all these people with
time, place, date adn rsvp number. (Be sure the place is a
compatable size for the amount of people.)
If the mom/parents to be are registered somewhere for gifts you
can tell people that when they call to ask about gifts. It's
considered ''gauche'' to write that in the invitation.
So....also have a list of needed items and equipment.
You can provide food, or ask specific people to bring things. Is
it an afternoon shower? then you can do finger food.
Is it lunch? Salads, stuff for sandwiches,
Brunch? Bagels, fruit, pastries.
I've put on a few showers and they are basically social
gatherings. No games, just good company, eating and opening
Will other kids/babies be there? Have activities for
them...crayons, paper, puzzles, or a few good videos in another
Men are often invited to showers...I think more often these days
than used to be.
Decorations....Colored or baby theme napkins, plates etc. are
always a nice touch and a few balloons. You don't have to go all
out. You can also ask other good friends of the parents to be to
help with purchasing decorations adn setting up. People are
usually happy and wanting to help.
Good luck, and have fun. Some people are really good at
organizing this kind of stuff. I love it. If my husband had to
do it, it would not be a happening thing!!
I'm not opposed to all-women's showers, but I prefer the message a coed
sends. Dads are so often ignored in baby preparations and discussions
childrearing (for example, ''Parenting'' magazine actually refers to
being a resource for moms, as if dads aren't parents, too!). Expectant
fathers are going through a big transition, too, and I hate the
implication that only
moms would care about preparing for the baby. It is possible to
organize a party
that celebrates both parents and isn't overly girly and gushy. That
way the men will
feel like they are wanted at the party and valued as parents.
As for the other details, parties vary tremendously. A short party (90
the afternoon might require only a little snack food and a cake, for
example, while a
lunchtime or dinnertime party would be more elaborate. It also doesn't
take tons of
decorations to make it clear that this is a shower. Party stores (I
think we used Party
Warehouse in El Cerrito, though there are plenty of others) will have
If you think it would help, check out a book or two from the library on
showers. They'll have tips on games, themes, organization, etc. But
main thing is just to bring people together to help support the new
I have thrown several showers,had 3 showers thrown for me
when I was pregnant and have attended many showers. There are
many kinds of showers! The most conventional shower is usually
for women only, has games and prizes and pastel decorations, and
quaint little foods, like cucumber sandwiches. I suggest
starting by asking your friend what she'd like. I've thrown
really low-key night-time, coed, potluck showers that were
great. I've also thrown afternoon, girls-only showers that were
more of a production. Some people hate games; your friend will
probably have an opinion about this. I had one shower with games
and two without and both were equally fun! Generally, food can
be a few salads (fruit salad, pasta salad), little sandwiches
(white bread with various fillings like egg salad, tuna salad,
cream cheese/cucumbers, ham & cheese and cut the crusts off and
cut into little squares), a cake and cookies. Or you can have a
brunch shower with egg casseroles, bagels and cream cheeses,
etc. Most showers are 2-3 hours long, in my experience. Often a
mom will have two showers -- one for family and one for friends.
Games are too numerous to mention but prizes can be little
trinkets like candles, bath soaps, journals. You can get great
shower decorations at any party decoration store, but they can
be as simple as streamers and hand-made signs. Try to send out
invitations at least a month in advance, especially during the
spring/summer months. There are tons of websites with baby
shower info. Here's one:
http://www.babycenter.com/pregnancy/babyshowers If you're
throwing your friend's ''main'' baby shower, make sure you let
the guests know where she is registered or what she needs.
Anyway, it can be a lot of work, but lots of fun, too! I suggest
you try to recruit people to help and to defray the cost, which
can be considerable. Have fun!
I'm not a big baby shower fan (but they made me have one anyway)
and this is something I thought was fun and a break from the
Buy onesies in various sizes, wash them and then at the shower
give every guest one and supply them with fabric markers and let
them make a unique shirt for the baby. It's lots of fun for
guests and mom gets to take home the fun shirts for the baby.
(oh, and cut some cardboard to fit inside the shirts so the
markers don't run through)
I've been to 2 recent showers and they were both quite informal,
and simply had finger food laid out on the table when everyone
arrived, beverages available and then a cake later on. The type
of food depends on the time of day, mealtime or not.
There really is no right or wrong way to host a baby shower. I
think brunches are traditional, but you could do an afternoon
tea or a bbq for expecting mom and dad. I'd start with the mom-
to-be and find out what she'd like -- keeping in mind your
budget and space limitations. I'd also check out
babycenter.com -- they have a section on baby shower ideas. You
can find invitations and decorations just about anywhere. When
I've hosted babyshowers, I've always just had a beautiful
bouquet of flowers -- no cut-out storks or anything. I'm also
not a fan of games, but have found decorating onesies to be a
really fun activiity that brings the group together. Get a
bunch of plain white onesies in a variety of sizes - enough for
each guest to do at least one -- and a bunch of fabric markers.
It also helps to have pieces of cardboard to insert into the
onesie. Each guest creates a special, one-of-a-kind onesie for
the baby. It's a great activity and an extra treat for mom!
There really are no hard & fast rules for babyshowers. Remember
it's just a party for your friend. The best approach is to ask
her what she'd like to do. People often have really strong
feelings about games v. no games, for example. Let her make the
guest list (including whether men should be invited), maybe
along with you if you have a lot of mutual friends. The best
parties are those where the guests feel comfortable and get
along well together. Usually babyshowers do include some sort
of food, dictated by the time of day. If you don't like to
cook, schedule it for mid afternoon when snacks and drinks will
be sufficient. You could also go to a restaurant or tea shop if
cost is not an issue.
Hi, I've thrown several showers in the last few years, and here's
my advice. Food: cute little things are good--egg salad
sandwiches, cut into quarters, mini-quiches, baby carrots &
tomatoes with a dip, little cookies, etc. Think mini. Or...yes,
you can just do desserty type things, along with fizzy waters,
tea, etc. (Be sure to have food/drink the mom-to-be is allowed;
I wouldn't serve alcohol.) Games are great. There are bunch of
great ideas on line--just do a search on ''baby shower games''. A
popular one I always do is go buy a regular baby bottle and a big
bag of M&M's--count them out, and fill up the bottle--you can use
all the colors, or pick and choose. I layered them in a rainbow
pattern once. When full, write the number of M&M's on a piece of
paper, fold, and stick to the bottom. People need to guess, and
whoever comes closest wins the bottle & candy. Games like that,
set up on a table, are easiest for larger parties (15+)--people
can do it at their leisure. Others, that require group
participation are best for smaller groups (5-10 or so). One I do
is put a baby item (pacifier, bootie, baby nail clippers--just
buy a bunch of things) in brown paper bags, staple together,
number them, and have people feel them, and guess what's inside.
(They write their names and guesses on pieces of paper).
Prizes--YES! I've used little boxes of stationery (Long's has a
nice selection, at less than $5 each) for all-women showers, and
gift cards for $5 or so at Peet's, Starbuck's, Jamba Juice, Toys
R Us...for mixed parties. People are psyched! Our showers last
2-4 hours, depending on who's there. Decorations: go to a party
supply store; there's a good one in the Pinole shopping center,
near Toys R Us, and a couple on San Pablo in Berkeley and El
Cerrito. I would send out invites 2-3 weeks ahead. Consult with
the mom to be about the guest list--this is HER party; she should
decide who she wants there (I wanted my husband & other male
friends at mine; some people prefer girls only). Good luck!!!
It'll be great. Don't forget the camera!
I'm having my first baby in July, a boy, and am starting to
think about registering. I'm into groovy natural things, but
want to give people who are kind enough to give us
presents an accessible registry. I know about babies r us
through amazon, but does any one have any other
suggestions for good places, preferably with a web site?
soon to be mama
Target is a good place to register for all the basic stuff
you'll need. Pottery Barn Kids has lots of cute kids stuff.
Both have websites.
I registered last year with Baby World which has three locations in
Oakland (Piedmont Ave., College Ave and now Telegraph). They carry
tons of great stuff, including more natural things than a place like Babies
R Us. They will put your registry on a website
(www.mybabyregistry.com, I think) as well as fax your list to anyone who
calls and requests.
I like patronizing a small business, but I did notice some people used my
registry to shop at stores like Target to save a few bucks on the more
I registered at oliebollen.com.
Not quite as practical as amazon, but hey that's what gifts are all about!
I really like Babystyle.com; it's a little pricey and yuppy-ish, but if you sift
through it there are nice things, and if you're looking for a registry then it's not
so terribly pricey. I especially like their ''Our Softest...'' line of clothing--hats,
onesies, sleepers, etc. that are soft cotton, and plain and cute. And they have
all the basics--baby bjorns, slings, co-sleepers and cribs, toys.
The Nurture Center in Lafayette has a baby registry that might
meet your needs. It is both online and in-store, and the
online portion is partnered with Felicite
(http://www.felicite.com), which allows you to select registry
items from other stores as well. A unique feature of Felicite
is that your gift givers can contribute to a large purchase,
such as a glider or co-sleeper. You can set up an online
registry through Felicite or The Nurture Center
The Nurture Center has natural-oriented products such as
breastfeeding supplies, nursing wear, and slings, so hopefully
you can find some products that would suit you.
Check out www.organicbebe.com. They have a registry, carry
alot of useful and natural items and while you're there, sign
up to receive their catalog too!
Have fun and congrats!
I thought Lullaby Lane was really good and they have a website
and toll free number so it is easily accessible for everyone
across the country. They are all www.lullabylane.com and are
located in San Bruno.
I registered at a site called wishworld.com and it connected to
a bunch of organic cotton, etc. sites. My friends seemed to
have no trouble getting stuff to me. Also you could look at
ecobaby.com, they have a registry there. I believe it's
connected with wishworld as well.
Good luck with your pregnancy and happy organic shopping to you!
what are people's experiences with baby showers for
second children? I just found out that my second child (due
in June) will be a boy; I already have a 2 1/2 year old girl. My
dear friend offered to throw me a ''boy clothes'' shower.
Obviously I do not need anything *but* boy clothes, but I
wonder if it is unseemly to have a second shower? Has
anyone had one, or been to one? If it makes any difference
this second shower would have some overlapping guests
with the first, but would also include new friends. Thanks!
My sister, mom, and a few close friends threw a baby shower for
my 2nd (a boy this time), and it was really fun. I had new
friends whom I had met in my circle of parents after having my
daughter, and then also my really close friends. We got so many
wonderful boy clothes. I too had wondered if it was okay to
have a shower, but a couple of friends said, ''it's a brand new
life coming into the world...every child should have a shower.''
I am expecting my 2nd too, along with several friends, so
this topic has definitely come up for me. In the past, I always
thought that it would be tacky to have a shower for a 2nd
baby. However, so many of my friends have asked me if I
would like one. When I said I preferred just a ''no-gift'' lunch
or get-together, they said, no way--people always bring gifts
and the few who follow the rules and don't feel like oafs.
This sounded true enough. I have been to a couple 2nd
baby showers and the only one that seemed unseemly had
''Registered at Babies R Us'' on the invitation. Otherwise, I
agree that all expectant mamas deserve a party!
I think your idea to designate boy clothes as gifts is a great
one. There are so many places to buy inexpensive things,
this shouldn't be a burden for those who attended your first
shower. I would suggest your host slip a note in the
invitation stating something like ''Christine feels like she
has most everything she needs for the new baby. Since it is
a boy, gifts of clothing would be especially helpful and
appreciated.'' Your old and new friends alike will be happy to
bring something needed and useful.
I think it's a great idea to have a shower for baby #2, I would
even be delighted to attend a pal's shower for baby #3, 4, & 5!
in my opinion these parties are not only about helping a new
family aquire the bric a brac needed for infant care but also a
fun way for a circle of friends to celebrate each child.
I'm not sure why, but 2nd baby showers annoy me. I tend to
give a gift anyway for second, third and all new babies. So I
guess it is that baby showers in general annoy me, but for new
moms I will put up with it and for second time moms I get
I was in the same quandry last year, and I was having my second
boy. My sister-in-law wanted to throw me a shower for my second,
but when I told my mom she sounded horrified. I asked around,
and came to the conclusion that the shower was for the baby, not
me, so it didn't matter how many babies I had had, it was to
welcome the new one. That being said, I did invite fewer people
the second time around... real family intimates, as opposed to
all the obligatory invitees from the first round... people who
would have given him a gift anyway. While we were trying to
figure out what the right thing to do would be we came across
one alternate suggestion you might like, have a party to welcome
the baby home after she is born. Regardless, feel free to
celebrate the new baby, after all she will only be born once.
mom of two
Well, I had showers thrown for me for the second baby, and I
have thrown them for other people, so I obviously don't think
it's unseemly. Heck, they were fun, and it seems to me that the
birth of any child should be a cause for celebration. Go ahead
and enjoy yourself.
We had two baby showers for baby #2, one given by friends and one
by my work. Like you, I felt a bit uncomfortable because these
same people had been so generous with our first baby. But I
think the showers were really a celebration of the little one to
come, and, since with the second pregnancy you're often not as
focused on the pregnancy itself, it was a welcome moment to focus
on this child. So, gifts were not as elaborate the second time
around but the parties were very fun....and I think it would be
quite appropriate to ask specifically for what you need. My
friends and co-workers asked me, and that's what we got. I also
went to another shower for a second baby where they collected
money for gifts and gave the mom a baby catalog and asked her to
pick things from it. That worked well too.
this page was last updated: Aug 30, 2006
The opinions and statements expressed on this website
are those of parents who subscribe to the
Berkeley Parents Network.
Disclaimer & Usage for
information about using content on this website.
Copyright © 1996-2013 Berkeley Parents Network