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Adopting the Child of a Friend or Family Member
My husband and I have recently been presented with an amazing opportunity to adopt a baby. We've spent years trying to conceive and had just begun the international adoption process when we found out an acquaintance is pregnant and planning to place her child for adoption. We've spoken and so far this seems like a good match for everyone involed. But we have tons of questions -- and don't even know which questions to ask. If you've gone through a private adoption, I'd love to hear about your experience. How early in the pregnancy were you involved? How did you find an attorney? What are some of the key elements in an adoption agreement? Did you or the birthmom go through counseling? What's the post-adoption relationship like (with the birthmom)? In our case, the birthmom wants her little boy (5 yrs old) to be able to have contact with his sibling. We don't have a problem with this, but we're just not sure what it will be like. Is anyone in a similiar situation -- and is this something we should be wary of? What were some of your fears and and concerns and how were they resolved? Thank you in advance for sharing -- any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated! Michelle
My brother has asked me to adopt his 4 year old son. He currently resides in India. Him and his wife are not getting along and my nephew is witnessing a lot of things he should not. Needless to say, he has some behavioural issues such as delayed speech and is quite spirited.
I am a single parent with a son close to my newphew's age. My son is the opposite end of the spectrum. He is well-mannered, speaks really well and is calm most of the time.
Has anyone gone through with an adoption similar to this? Would like to hear about any issues. I am worried about how my son would react. Also wondering about legal issues. Can I adopt my newphew and bring him to this country or best to have him just visit. I don't have to adopt him per say but I want him to have all the rights, with respects to schooling etc. Lastly, I am fully aware of the strain this would put on my finances. Would this reduce my financial obligation to my ex?
Would like to consult with a lawyer who specializes in this area. Regards, with trepidation
An international kinship adoption is going to be legally complex and cost you some money, but it is not impossible. I recommend consulting Lynne Jacobs, director of Adopt International, 415-934-0300 to see if they can help. Lynne will probably be able to roughly estimate the cost of this endevor as well as the time frame. You will be required to pass a CA adoption homestudy, and will probably have to hire an adoption attorney, both here and in India.
Adopting an older child is an entirely separate and very large issue. For all adoption and/or attachemnt related issues, I strongly recommend Virginia Keeler-Wolf of the Bay Area Attachment Center, 510-339-9363. Virginia is amazing with both kids and parents and specializes in children adopted from overseas. Jane
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