Pregnancy after Adoption
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Pregnancy after Adoption
June 2003
I'm seeking advice and support from other moms who got pregnant
after adopting one or more children. I'm still in shock, having
heard that it only happens 2% of the time. As this pregnancy is
very early, I won't publish my name just yet. Thanks!
shock&awe
Congratulations on your pregnancy. Your children will have one
thing in common from the start--they came when they wanted, not
when they were expected. I had an unexpected, successful (but
very difficult) pregnancy after adopting two older children. The
older children were 6 1/2 and 3 3/4 when their younger brother
was born. I'm not sure exactly what your questions are. How
did they react? How did I feel? Our oldest child, a boy, was
delighted to have a younger brother; the second child, a girl,
was disappointed not to have a sister, and really disliked the
youngest for several years. However, she and her younger brother
have many interests in common--both like to play board games,
read Harry Potter, listen to tapes, etc. They have become very
close, despite a shaky beginning. Both the older children at
times expressed the feelings that we loved the younger one more
because he wasn't adopted. I don't think they think that any
more (now that they see he has all the same issues--from school
to preteen behavior--that they had, and is getting the same
parental treatment). Nevertheless, they each have had a very
different experience in life because of the adoptions. The
older ones deal with questions that the younger one doesn't
face--but that's a different topic. I feel very blessed to have
all three of them, and I wish you a successful and easy
pregnancy.
One of the 2%
Isn't it ironic? I got pregnant 4 months after adopting our
first son. I gave birth to a girl and we adopted again after
that. Positive thing: breastfeeding.... it was great to be able
to nurse. I was even able to nurse our third child.
Negative thing: the whole pregnancy felt weird. I was so
convinced that I could not be pregnant that it did not
feel ''natural'' at all.
There is definitely more to it. It goes deep into your concepts
of ''genetics''. It made me realize how much of a better person I
am because we adopted too. Adopting a child makes you start
off ''fresh'' with a child, no expectations. It's a whole
different thing when a child is born to you and when you are
surrounded by children born to their families. I'm reading a
GREAT book called: ''Talking to young children about adoption''
that helped me understanding a lot of issues. It might help you
too. Good luck and e-mail me if you want to know more.
marie-claude
this page was last updated: Aug 17, 2003
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