• Only members of the list may post to the list. Newsletters should not be forwarded to non-members without permission. (Also see the policy on privacy.)

• Members agree to respect each other's privacy. This means that members may not misuse the personal information of other members or send them unwanted or unsolicited email. See the Privacy Policy for details.

• Messages should be generally interesting, informative, or useful for parents on the network. BPN does not accept postings that seek to "rally the forces" for a particular cause.

• No advertising: The list may not be used for commercial purposes or for any advertising other than items and services that members themselves are offering. Recommendations are always welcome, though. (Also see the policy on advertising.)

• Politeness is strictly enforced. The point of the list is for all of us to help each other. There is a great deal of diversity on the lists and you will sometimes see views expressed that you do not agree with. While you are encouraged to post your own views, critiquing the views of others is not allowed in the newsletters. (See Expressing your opinion, Getting personal and Disparaging others' opinions.)

  The politeness policy also extends to the volunteers who run the newsletters. Please be nice to them - they are giving up their spare time to get the newsletters out to everyone.

The moderators must judge for themselves whether messages meet the policies, which have been developed over many years and are still evolving. We can't guarantee 100% that we always apply all the policies equally and fairly, but that is what we try very hard to do.

Do you ever unsubscribe people for breaking the rules?

Chicken Pox Parties

Disparaging others' opinions and practices

You may not imply that someone else is not a good parent (or spouse or citizen, etc.) unless they agree with your own opinions and/or parenting style. An example that frequently comes up on the BPN is suggestions by proponents of Attachment Parenting that parents who don't use this method are raising insecure or unhappy children.

See also the sections about Preaching and Politeness.

Getting personal

We are happy to take more general requests such as "Moving to...." or "Vacationing In...", as long as they are parenting/family related. These frequently get excellent and useful responses for popular destinations (Boston, DC or Hawaii) and fewer or no responses for less popular destinations (Boise, Glendale). We don't accept travel questions that are more fully answered elsewhere, such as "need a hotel near the Rome airport". See Travel Questions for details.

Gossip

1) At election time we may send out a one-time "Special Election Edition" which allows subscribers to express their thoughts about candidates and propositions that have some bearing on the family and parenting. Rules for these special issues are online at parents.berkeley.edu/election_rules.html. When we are not able to put together a special issue, members may post a message to the Announcements newsletter at election time as long as it follows the rules for the special election issues.

2) Between elections, we post newsworthy events that we think subscribers would be interested in. They need to be related to parenting or children. The right place to post these is in the Announcements newsletter, in the "Other Announcements" section. The announcement must be a personal note from a subscriber who includes his/her name and email address in case there are questions. We can't accept mass-mailings that have been forwarded to many people. Any names, addresses, emails, dates, phone numbers, or web sites that are contained in the message must be verified by the subscriber. The best method is to write a short personal note and include a website that people can go to for additional information.

We do not accept messages about political fundraisers.

1. We do not use any of the information you give us when you subscribe for anything except the "Welcome New Members" section of the newsletter, which goes only to other subscribing parents. If you do not want your name to appear in the Welcome section, you have the option to request that on the subscription form.

2. We use your email address in order to mail newsletters to you, and to verify membership when you post a message. We do not give away or sell or reveal names or email addresses for any other reason, ever.

3. Most of the newsletters allow you to specify how you want your posting to be signed, including simply "Anonymous". Exceptions to this are postings where a contact email/phone is needed, such as the Marketplace and Childcare newsletters. See Can I post anonymously? for more information about this.

4. When we archive advice and reviews to the website, we remove all identifying information first unless you have given us permission to post it (such as tutor announcements.) Full names, email addresses, phone numbers, etc., are never included, even if you included it in your original post to the newsletter. Please let us know immediately if you find that your name was accidentally included on a web page, and we'll remove it at once.

5. Be aware that when you post a message to one of the newsletters, it will be seen by thousands of people. There are 31,655 subscribers receiving the BPN newsletters, so it's very possible that your neighbor, your co-worker, your boss, or your child's teacher is on the list. Please keep this in mind. And, as always with any kind of written correspondence, please be prudent about what you put into your email if you are signing your name to it.

6. Subscribers may not forward newsletters to non-subscribers without permission. The newsletters often contain personal information about subscribers such as their full names, childrens' names, phone numbers, home addresses, and email addresses. As with any other email you receive, you should never forward the words of, or personal information about, another person without their permission. It is OK to forward some good advice to a friend but please remove all the personal information first, or ask the permission of the people who posted.

7. Subscribers may not use information from the BPN newsletters, such as names, emails, and phone numbers, to contact other subscribers for ANY reason other than responding directly to a request made in the newsletter. Subscribers may NOT offer any other service, advice, comment, or recommendation that was not specifically requested in a post. We want subscribers to feel that they can include their names or email addresses in their post without being bombarded with unwanted email from other subscribers. It is OK to send somebody an email that answers the question they asked, or to say thanks, or to say hello to a friend. Most people are happy to receive email like this. But it is not OK to send another subscriber email that would be considered unwelcome by most people. This includes criticism about a posting of theirs you saw in the newsletter, solicitations (even if it's for a good cause), and anything that could be interpreted as advertising.
   Example 1: If you see a posting in the newsletter that you disagree with or disapprove of, you may not contact the person who posted to comment or complain to them about the posting unless they specifically invited people to write them with comments. See Can't I express my opinion when I think a letter is offensive or another parent is wrong?.
   Example 2: A subscriber who runs a nanny agency may not take email addresses from a BPN newsletter in order to send people information about their business. In both of these examples, the email is assumed to be unwanted and the privacy of a subscriber is being violated.

Donation Requests

Fundraising Events & Sales

• schools, public or non-profit
• religious institutions
• community organizations for kids or parents
• non-profit groups for kids or parents

We cannot accept announcements about fundraising events for:

• individuals
• medical conditions
• political events
• organizations that are not parenting- or family-related
• events that children would not normally attend

If your event meets the criteria above, you can post to ...

• Marketplace for garage sales & rummage sales
• Parents of Teens for high school events
• Announcements for walkathons, car washes, auctions, and similar events.

Note about Items for Sale
It is OK to post items to the Marketplace that are being sold to raise money for your child's non-profit school, sports team, chorus, and similar groups, or for non-profit family-related community organizations such as city parks, parenting groups, and the like. However, to avoid having a Marketplace newsletter full of ongoing ads for non-profits, please stick to the items sold during fundraising drives as opposed to merchandise that is always available for sale. Also be aware that most everyone with a child in school will be selling something at one time or another, so please don't rely on the Marketplace to get rid of all those boxes of gift wrap and candy!

Question and Answer Format

1. a question seeking a range of advice from other parents, or
2. a response to a recent question

BPN DOES NOT ACCEPT:

• Questions that require special expertise to answer
  If you are looking for an answer to a legal, medical, or financial problem, BPN is not the right place to find it. See this page for details.

• Questions seeking a specific "correct" answer.
  If you are posting a query looking for the one right answer, in the hopes that someone on the list might know the answer, then BPN is not the place to ask. Please instead do your own research using google or phoning the business or school you are asking about. The BPN newsletters are intended as a way to get a range of opinions and advice from other parents in the community, not as a forum for getting a correct answer. Here are examples of past questions like this that BPN does not accept: "What are the ingredients in Tom's toothpaste?" and "How much is the tuition at Shady Acres Private School?"

• Questions that are not really questions.
  This includes general observations and complaints about human behavior, schools, politics, community, etc. For example, "Why are there so many badly-behaved children in restaurants?" Questions posted to BPN need to be in the form of a parent seeking advice from other parents. Open-ended discussion and debate is beyond the scope of BPN. Please use other outlets for general discussions, such as blogs, letters to the editor, venting to friends, etc.

• Responses that comment on the original question rather than answering it.
  All responses must answer the original question. We cannot accept responses that challenge the validity of the original question, or imply that the question should not have been asked. For example, if someone asks for recommendations for where to buy a birthday cake for a First Birthday, you may not respond saying (or implying) that one-year-olds should not eat birthday cake. If you think that a particular post is not appropriate for BPN, you should bring this up with the moderator, not the person who posted, because it is the BPN moderators who determine whether posts meet BPN policy.

• Responses that criticize others' responses.
  You may post your own advice in response to a question, but you may not disparage the advice others have given.

• Follow-up postings from someone who has already posted.
  Please restrict yourself to one post per topic. BPN does not accept rebuttals and counter-rebuttals from people who have already posted on a particular thread. If you posted the original question, it's OK to post a follow-up to thank people for their responses, but BPN doesn't accept follow-up questions about something you posted about previously, per the Repeated Postings policy.

Please write to the moderator if you think that someone has posted incorrect or misleading information, or if you have a question or a comment about any postings that have appeared. The moderator's email address is shown at the top of the newsletter.

Whining, Venting, and Preaching

If you are posting a question to one of the Q&A newsletters such as Advice Wanted, make sure you are asking a question rather than complaining and venting. BPN can only accept postings that ask a question that other subscribers can reply to, per our Q&A Policy. Posting a laundry list of complaints about your husband or your mother-in-law doesn't meet the Q&A requirement, and also does not meet BPN's goal of being useful for other parents.