Policies for the Advice newsletter

1. All postings to Advice Wanted must be a question posed to parents on the list, seeking problem-solving advice. General discussion items and open-ended "why?" questions are not accepted.

2. All responses in Advice Given must answer the original question. We can't accept responses that comment on the original question, or comment on others' replies to the question, or make general observations about the topic, or follow up on the original question with clarifications or new questions.

Guidelines for posting a question to Advice Wanted

• What to post: A question or a problem that you'd like other parents to help you solve or give you a range of advice about.

• Examples: "How-to", "What should I do?", "Has it ever happened to you?"

• Not accepted:
     - postings that don't contain a clear specific question
     - postings that are mainly complaining and venting (more info)
     - questions that aren't really seeking advice, such as "why do people behave this way?"
     - questions that require expertise (legal, medical, etc.) to answer (more info)
     - marketing, promotional, and research questions
     - survey questions, such as "I'd like to get a sense of how many parents do such-and-such" (more info)
     - questions looking for the "right" answer (more info)

Hints for Posting to Advice

• Do Your Homework: Frequently discussed topics seldom get a good response. Read some of the archived advice about your topic on the BPN website before you post, and explain in your question why you need more info about the topic.

• Very Long Messages: Long questions tend to get fewer replies, because most subscribers skip over questions that require a lot of effort to read and understand. There is a limit of about 3 short paragraphs, to keep messages easy to read and improve the chances of getting good responses. It's best to be as concise as you can, and leave out details that are not revelant for the question you're asking.

• Too Much Information: Messages that go into too much detail about sex, morbidity, obsessions, bodily functions, etc. tend to get fewer replies because 1) they make many readers uncomfortable and 2) they can have the appearance of being gratuitous. For the best response, use some discretion about descriptions of very personal information.

• Will your friend or relative recognize themselves in your post? Be careful about asking about relationships with people who may also subscribe to BPN or who might receive a forwarded newsletter from someone who does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's best to not include details in your question that would allow people to recognize themselves or others, such as schools, ages, neighborhood, family background, etc.

Reviews & recommendations in Advice

Sometimes people do include a recommendation in their advice, and this is OK, as long as the post is mostly advice. However, for the Advice newsletter, any recommendations that are included in your advice must meet these criteria:
- no self-promotions
- no negative reviews

Promotional reviews and negative reviews are accepted in the Recommendations newsletter, but not in Advice.

Questions about relationships

If you are posting a question about a relationship, we recommend following the guidelines for posting above; in particular, try to be concise and clear about what the problem is, and take care not to provide so many personal details that people are recognizable.

Questions seeking expert advice (medical, financial, legal, etc.)

WE DO NOT ACCEPT:

• Questions seeking advice about a medical issue.
• Questions that require expert knowledge to answer.
• Questions seeking a definitive "right" answer.

It is OK to ask for other parents' experiences and suggestions, and we do welcome advice from BPN parents who are also experienced professionals. But if you are posting a question looking for a specific "right answer", hoping that someone on the list might know the answer, then BPN is not the place to ask. You should instead consult with an expert - a lawyer, doctor, financial advisor, etc. The BPN website has many archived recommendations for these professionals and you can ask for a new referral using the Recommendations posting form.

Why we have this policy: We don't want subscribers to get inaccurate or misleading advice from well-meaning BPN subscribers who are not licensed to practice law or medicine, or who have no background or training in the relevant field. Subscribers who *are* lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc. cannot give you accurate advice based on a brief message you posted to the newsletters. In fact, this is prohibited by most professional organizations.

Examples of questions that are OK "What has worked for your child's eczema?" "What was your experience with hernia surgery?" "How did you make your joint custody agreement work?" "How can I find health insurance for my nanny?" "Did you get a passport for your newborn?" "Thinking about declaring bankrupcy..."

Examples of questions that are NOT ACCEPTED "How can I legally change my custody agreement?" "Are vaccinations safe?" "Is it OK to feed my baby rice milk instead of formula?" "Do I need to report my consulting fees as income?" "Can I sue my neighbors for leaking sewer lines?" "What are the ingredients in Tom's toothpaste?"

Expressing your opinion in the Advice newsletter

However, BPN does not accept responses that don't answer the question that was asked, or that disparage others' opinions, or preach about proper behavior and parenting styles. Politeness is one of the core BPN Rules and the BPN moderators do their best to enforce this policy.

Therefore, your posting should stick to your own experience or opinion without making a negative reference to others' opinions, and should be a response to the question that was asked.

Also see the Negative Review policy for information about critical reviews of businesses and business owners.

"Survey" questions

Judgemental advice & unwelcome advice

BPN does not accept responses that disparage others, including making comments about the person who posted the question. However, as long as respondents stick to answering the question that was asked in a polite way without questioning the motives of the person who asked the question, BPN does publish their advice, even though it may be at odds with the views of the person who posted.