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BPN Advice Newsletter Policies

Berkeley Parents Network > Help & Frequently Asked Questions > Advice Newsletter


Policies on This Page Policies on Other Pages

What kinds of postings are accepted for the Advice newsletter?

Post a question to the Advice newsletter if you are looking for a range of opinions about parenting, kids, families, health, relationships, careers, etc. Note that the Advice newsletter is not restricted to parenting advice only. Although some other BPN newsletters do have this requirement, we have always accepted advice questions about a variety of topics.


Policies for the Advice newsletter

  1. All postings to Advice Wanted must be a question posed to parents on the list. General discussion items and open-ended "why?" questions are not accepted.

  2. All responses in Advice Given must answer the original question. We can't accept responses that comment on the original question, or comment on others' replies to the question, or make general observations about the topic, or follow up on the original question with clarifications or new questions.

Guidelines for posting a question to Advice Wanted

  1. Very Long Messages: Long questions tend to get fewer replies, because most subscribers skip over questions that require a lot of effort to read and understand. There is a limit of about 3 short paragraphs, to keep messages easy to read and improve the chances of getting good responses. It's best to be as concise as you can, and leave out details that are not revelant for the question you're asking.

  2. Whining, Venting & Complaining: Make sure you are asking a question rather than complaining and venting. BPN can only accept postings that ask a question that other subscribers can reply to, per our Q&A Policy. Posting a laundry list of complaints about your husband or your mother-in-law doesn't meet the Q&A requirement, and also does not meet BPN's goal of being helpful to the parent community.

  3. Hypothetical & Metaphysical Questions: This includes questions like "Why do people disrespect Stay-at-Home-Moms?", "Why do people allow their children to misbehave in restaurants?", "Why do people think private school is better?". These are not really questions looking for answers. They are discussion items, and they often provide a context for complaining and venting. As explained above, BPN can only accept postings that ask a question that other subscribers can reply to, per our Q&A Policy.

  4. Too Much Information: Messages that go into too much detail about sex, morbidity, obsessions, bodily functions, etc. tend to get fewer replies because 1) they make many readers uncomfortable and 2) they can have the appearance of being gratuitous. For the best response, use some discretion about descriptions of very personal information.

  5. Will your friend or relative recognize themselves in your post? Be careful about asking about relationships with people who may also subscribe to BPN or who might receive a forwarded newsletter from someone who does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's best to not include details in your question that would allow people to recognize themselves or others, such as schools, ages, neighborhood, family background, etc.


Questions about relationships

The BPN Advice Wanted newsletter often receives questions about relationships with friends, family, kids, spouses, neighbors, and co-workers. Many subscribers are interested in reading and replying to these types of questions. Responses are often compassionate and thoughtful, with a wide range of suggestions. Since postings can be anonymous, BPN is a good way to get advice about personal situations that may be hard to bring up with friends.

If you are posting a question about a relationship, we recommend following the guidelines for posting above; in particular, trying to be concise and clear about what the problem is, and taking care not to provide so many personal details that people are recognizable.


Questions seeking expert advice (medical, financial, legal, etc.)

BPN accepts Advice questions that the average parent might have experience with or opinions about. But we cannot accept questions looking for legal, medical or financial advice, or any other question seeking a definitive "right" answer.

WE DO NOT ACCEPT:

The BPN Advice newsletter is intended to provide a way to get a range of opinions and advice from other parents in the community, not as a forum for getting a correct answer to a legal or medical question.

It is OK to ask for other parents' experiences and suggestions, and we do welcome advice from BPN parents who are also experienced professionals. But if you are posting a question looking for a specific "right answer", hoping that someone on the list might know the answer, you should instead consult with an expert - a lawyer, doctor, financial advisor, etc. The BPN website has many archived recommendations for these professionals and you can ask for a new referral using the Recommendations posting form.

Why we have this policy: We don't want subscribers to get inaccurate or misleading advice from well-meaning BPN subscribers who are not licensed to practice law or medicine, or who have no background or training in the relevant field. Subscribers who *are* lawyers, doctors, accountants, etc. cannot give you accurate advice based on a brief message you posted to the newsletters. In fact, this is prohibited by most professional organizations.

Examples of questions that are OK

Examples of questions that are NOT ACCEPTED


Expressing your opinion in the Advice newsletter

It is OK to express your opinion in the Advice newsletter, even if it is an opinion that no one else agrees with. BPN subscribers are a very diverse group with all sorts of backgrounds, so advice from the group usually covers a broad range of opinions. This is an especially useful feature of BPN, since you might get a good solution to a problem that you wouldn't receive from your own circle of family and friends. Anonymous postings to the Advice newsletter also provide our community with a safe way to express unpopular and minority opinions.

However, BPN does not accept responses that don't answer the question that was asked, or that disparage others' opinions, or preach about proper behavior and parenting styles. Politeness is one of the core BPN Rules and the BPN moderators do their best to enforce this policy.

Therefore, your posting should stick to your own experience or opinion without making a negative reference to others' opinions, and should be a response to the question that was asked.

Also see the Negative Review policy for information about critical reviews of businesses and business owners.


Judgemental advice & unwelcome advice

It is possible that when you ask for advice on the BPN, you may receive responses that seem judgemental to you. Or, you might get advice that you disagree with, or advice that you would never follow. BPN does have the goal of being helpful and supportive to the community of parents, but our community is very diverse, and opinions can vary widely on any given issue. Advice is by nature based on personal opinions and judgements, so please be aware that when you ask for advice, you may receive advice that sounds judgemental, or that you don't approve of, or want.

BPN does not accept responses that disparage others, including making comments about the person who posted the question. However, as long as respondents stick to answering the question that was asked in a polite way without questioning the motives of the person who asked the question, BPN does publish their advice, even though it may be at odds with the views of the person who posted.


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Last updated: Oct 5, 2009
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