BPN Advice Newsletter Policies
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The Advice newsletter is intended as a way for parents to
problem-solve with other parents about
kids, families, parenting, health, relationships, careers, etc.
- All postings to Advice
Wanted must be a question posed to parents on the list, seeking
problem-solving advice.
General discussion topics and open-ended "why?" questions are
not accepted.
- All postings to Advice Given must answer the original question. We can't
accept responses that challenge the original question, or comment on
others' replies to the question, or make general observations about
the topic, or follow up on the original question with
clarifications or new questions.
The Advice newsletter is not restricted to
parenting advice only. Although some other BPN newsletters do have
this requirement, we have always accepted questions for Advice about
a variety of topics. However, all Advice Wanted questions must be
actual questions where you are seeking help from other parents
about topics that the average parent might have experience with.
- What to post: A question or a
problem that you'd like other parents to help you
solve or give you a range of advice about.
- Examples: "How-to", "What should I do?", "Has it ever happened to you?"
- Not accepted:
- postings that don't contain a clear specific question
- postings that are mainly complaining and venting (more info)
- questions that aren't really seeking advice, such as
"why do people behave this way?"
- questions that require expertise (legal, medical, etc.) to answer (more info)
- marketing, promotional, and research questions, such as
"how can I market my business?"
- survey questions, such as "I'd like to get a sense of how many parents do such-and-such" (more info)
- questions looking for the "one right answer" (more info)
Here are some suggestions for posting a question to Advice Wanted:
- Do Your Homework: Frequently discussed topics
seldom get a good response. Read some of the archived advice
about your topic on the BPN website before you post, and explain
in your question why you need more info about the topic.
- Very Long Messages: Long questions tend to get fewer replies,
because most subscribers skip over questions that require a lot of
effort to read and understand. There is a limit of about 3 short paragraphs,
to keep messages easy to read and improve the chances
of getting good responses. It's best to be as concise as you can, and leave out
details that are not revelant for the question you're asking.
- TMI: Messages that go into too much detail about
sex, morbidity, obsessions, bodily functions, etc. tend to get fewer replies
because 1) they make many readers uncomfortable and 2) they can have the
appearance of being gratuitous. For the best response, use some
discretion about descriptions of very personal information.
- Will your friend or relative recognize themselves in your post?
Be careful about asking about relationships with people who may
also subscribe to BPN or who might receive a forwarded newsletter from
someone who does. We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It's best to
not include details in your question that would allow people to recognize
themselves or others, such as schools, kids' ages, neighborhood, family background, etc.
The Advice newsletter is intended as a way to get personal advice from
other parents. If you are looking for advice about specific products,
professional services or practices, schools, places, and the like, please instead post to
one of the newsletters that accepts reviews (Recommendations, or Schools & Preschools).
If you are
responding to an Advice question, please respond with advice rather than a review
of a specific person, place or thing.
It is OK to include a review if your post is mostly advice. However, for the Advice
newsletter, any reviews of products/services that are included in your advice must
meet these criteria:
- first-hand experience only (no self-promotions or colleague/friend referrals)
- no negative reviews
Note these are both accepted for other BPN newsletters, but not for Advice.
Promoting your service or business:
The Advice newsletters do not accept promotional messages about your own
business or services. This means that you may not recommend yourself when replying to an advice
question, including statements such as "If you'd like to talk further, please call me"
or "I offer a free initial consultation, please call me."
This policy also applies to the advice sections of the Parents of Teens
newsletter.
The BPN Advice Wanted newsletter
often receives questions about relationships with friends, family, kids,
spouses, neighbors, and co-workers.
Many subscribers are interested in reading and replying to
these types of questions. Responses are often compassionate and thoughtful,
with a wide range of suggestions. Since postings can be anonymous,
BPN is a good way to get advice about
personal situations that may be hard to bring up with friends.
If you are posting a question about a relationship,
we recommend following the guidelines for posting above;
in particular, try to be concise and clear about what the problem is,
and take care
not to provide so many personal details that people are recognizable.
It is OK to express your opinion in the Advice newsletter,
even if it is an opinion that no one else agrees with.
BPN subscribers are a very diverse group with all sorts of backgrounds,
so advice from the group usually covers a broad range of opinions.
This is an especially useful feature of BPN -- you might get a
good solution to a problem that you wouldn't receive from
your own circle of family and friends.
Anonymous postings to the Advice newsletter also provide our community
with a safe way to express unpopular and minority opinions.
However,
BPN does not accept responses that
don't answer the question
that was asked, or that disparage others'
opinions, or preach
about proper behavior and parenting styles. Politeness
is one of the core BPN Rules and the
BPN moderators do their best to enforce this policy.
Therefore,
your posting should stick to your own experience or opinion without
making a negative reference to others' opinions, and should be a
response to the question that was asked.
Also see the Negative Review policy for
information about critical reviews of businesses and business owners.
BPN cannot accept postings that seek responses to survey-type questions
such as "I would like to hear from parents about the pros and cons of
preschool" or "Would you attend mother-and-son swimming classes
if they were available?"
The first example is a problem because it has the potential to general too many
responses, which could overwhelm the moderators. The second example
is related to the marketing of a
business or a product, and the Advice newsletter is intended to be
helpful to parents, not to businesses.
It is possible that when you ask for advice on the BPN, you may
receive responses that seem judgemental to you. Or, you might get advice
that you disagree with, or advice that you would never follow.
BPN does have the goal of being helpful and supportive
to the community of parents, but our community is very diverse,
and opinions can vary widely on any given issue. Advice is
always based on one's own personal opinions and judgements, so please be
aware that when you ask for advice, you may receive advice that
sounds judgemental, or that you don't approve of, or want.
BPN does not accept responses that disparage others,
including making comments about the person who posted the question.
However,
as long as respondents stick to answering the
question that was asked in a polite way without questioning the
motives of the person who asked the question, BPN does publish their
advice, even though it may be at odds with the views of the person
who posted.
this page was last updated: Mar 8, 2013
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